January 1, 2025 • 34 mins
In this conversation, Allen Covert shares his journey from growing up in Florida to becoming a prominent figure in comedy and film, particularly through his collaborations with Adam Sandler. He discusses the evolution of comedy, the challenges of making R-rated films today, and the current state of Hollywood, emphasizing the need for a return to genuine humor in cinema. Covert reflects on the cultural shifts in comedy and the importance of creating relatable content for younger generations. The Karol Markowicz Show is part of the Clay Travis & Buck Sexton Podcast Network - new episodes debut every Wednesday & Friday.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hi, Welcome to the Carol mark Witz Show on Imheartradio.
It's hard to avoid the election. I'm super in it
like many of you, and I try to keep politics
out of this show, but obviously it seeps in from
time to time, and a few days before major presidential
election is just that kind of time. I'm already hearing
(00:25):
from people who are saying that their relationships, their friendships,
their family connections are getting strained.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Because of the election.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
On News Nation the other night, JD Vance said, if
you're discarding a lifelong friendship because somebody is voting for
the other team, then you've made a terrible, terrible mistake
and you should do something different. Don't cast aside family
members in lifelong friendships. Politics is not worth it. I
love that he said that, especially because he's on the
ticket obviously and should want people to care more about
(00:56):
voting for him than their friendships. It was nice of
him to say that. But I'm not going where you
think I'm going with all this. Yes, I think you
should keep politics separate from your friends and family. People
who love you can disagree with you have different values
than you all of it. I'm very kombayah about the
whole thing. Really, I have friends who I love who
(01:17):
are firmly on the left. I don't have any leftist family,
but that's.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Really just sheer luck.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Haha.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
What I want to say, though, is that we've been
talking on the show about making friends in adulthood, and
I actually think it's completely okay to not pursue friendship
with people on the opposite political side. I know it
doesn't make sense that I would say that, because I
just said I have lots of friends on the left,
So why am I dissuading you from friend making across
(01:48):
political lines? And look, if you meet someone, you're playing
tennis with them, you meet them at work, whatever, you
hit it off, and they have opposite politics but you
like each other. Of course, go for it friends. But
friendships in adulthood usually take more work than this. So
if you meet someone and before you really know if
(02:08):
they're funny, or if you have things in common or
any of that, you find out you're not politically aligned,
I think it's fine to say, eh, not going to
pursue this friendship, especially if your political ideals do really
matter to you. Plenty of people are mostly apolitical, so
if that's you, great, But if your politics do matter
(02:29):
to you, I say keep the old friends with whom
you're not politically aligned, But no need to be in
any big rush to make more of these.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
As you get.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Older, it's hard to maintain friendships. And I said in
a previous episode that things like hobbies might not actually
matter in new friendships as much as we think, but
values and outlook they might matter a lot more. Again,
to me, I find humor to be top of the list,
like our are we laughing at the same stuff? Can
(03:01):
we make each other laugh? That matters to me. So
if I meet a super leftist, I find them really
funny and we have amazing banter like that's to me
as a friend. But a relationship that I have to
work at and we don't have ideals in common. Tougher Again,
you meet somebody at work, you crack up all through
(03:22):
lunch and then she's voting for Kamala and you're voting
for Trump. But doesn't mean you can't be friends. You're
already pick her in grown up friendships. Give yourself permission
to sort by politics too. That's all I'm saying. Don't
discard people like JD Van said, but having similar lifestyles
to new friends that you make as a grown up
(03:45):
will go a long way into turning them into old friends.
If you've got thoughts on this, drop me an email
Carol Markowitz Show at gmail dot com. K A R
O L M A R K O W I c
asn't Charlie z is and Z Show at gmail dot com.
Coming up next and interview with Alan Colvert. Join us
(04:06):
after the break. Welcome back to the Carol Markowitz Show
on iHeartRadio. My guest today is Alan Covert. Alan is
an actor producer. You've seen him in all the Adam
Sandler movies, Happy Gilmore, the wedding singer, Little Nikki, all
of them. And he's also the star of the cult
classic where I first saw him, Grandma's Boy.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Hi, Alan, So nice to have you on.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
Hey, Carol, thanks for having me.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
I was thinking about this this is I've had a
lot of well known guests on the show, but you
are the guest that I cannot wait for like my
group of like non political, non Twitter nerd friends, like
my real crew of friends to see this, and they're
going to be like you had Grandma's Boy on, It's
going to be a very exciting moment.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
Well, thank you. I mean, you know, a cult. Look,
I'll take the cult, Oh for sure. I don't need
to be that famous. It's too much of an infringement
on your life.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
I like, are we not supposed to drink the kool
aid during the movie? Because I thought that's what?
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Oh no, no, no. I'm like the cult thing because you know,
it's small enough and rabid enough that I can, like,
you know, get a good seat at a restaurant if
there's a big line in the hosts, but not enough
to where like people bother me non stop. I've been
around people like that. Yeah right, I've spent a good
(05:27):
chunk of my life around people who can't go to
the mall. And I like going to the mall. But yeah,
but it's I'm glad people like it, and it's always
fun to have people mention it to me.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
So I did some research on you before the show.
Learned a lot of things I didn't know.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
You were born in.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
Florida, Yes, sported rays. Actually I didn't grow up on
pub where Markago is. I grew up where the people
who had jobs live, as if my dad had a job,
those poor people. Yeah, but I knew a lot of
people who lived on Palm Beach. You know, it's it's
(06:06):
a funny town. Uh so, But I remember when marro
Lago was empty. That kid was an abandoned mansion and
no one lived there. And then Trump bought it. He
bought it after I had moved and stuff. But yeah,
I grew up in South Florida.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
I love Palm Beach.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
I you know a lot of people compared to like
other rich you know, enclaves like the Hampton's or whatever,
the Palm Beach is so colorful and unusual. I just
I love it there. I mean, if if funny were
no object, I'd live.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
On the island. A friend of mine from high school
hit it big and he's got a house a block
off the beach about Worth End.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
I didn't even mind, like three blocks off the beach.
I'll take you.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
But it's like he bought that not because he cares
about living on Palm Beach, but because there is it's
a public beach. But to actually get there, you'd have
to walk like five miles.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
And there's nowhere to park. And yeah, they know what
they're doing over there. Yeah, So how did you get
into acting?
Speaker 2 (07:13):
What's your path here.
Speaker 3 (07:16):
It was something I always wanted to do. As a kid,
I did plays, and it's just always fascinated by movies.
I mean I was telling someone yesterday, we were talking
about old movies that we saw in the theaters, because
that's part of my whole thing I'm trying to do,
which we'll get to eventually. Gotta. I remember like just
(07:39):
riding my bike to the movie theater alone to see
a matinee of Young Frank and stuff. No, I remember
running home to get home in time to watch. I
loved Lucy. I was just I loved comedy. I loved
stand up comedy. I love cartoons that were funny. I
(08:00):
loved anything that made me laugh. And you know, Jerry Lewis, buddy,
it just whoever was funny. I was just obsessed with
and I don't know, but it was funn because then
when it came to like me doing it, I never
thought I was funny. So I just wanted to be
in movies. I wanted to be an actor, but then
(08:23):
I was funny.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Do people still try to be funny?
Speaker 1 (08:27):
I feel like a lot of funniness has been lost.
Do you see that or do you still find funny?
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Around.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
There's so much funnier, right, Yeah, but right now it's
pretty right now, it's pretty much in the stand up
realm and in the podcast and independent realm. Look, some
of the funniest people I've read are on.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Twitter, right, so you enjoyed the twittery of them?
Speaker 3 (08:54):
Three year Wetterman, Oh nobody.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
I love three year Letterman so good.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
And I just go, wow, you're a great writer. Yeah,
they're iowah. Oh yeah, so's the you know, autism of
the cars where he can literally see a fender and
be like nineteen twelve Henry Ford's personal you know, I mean,
I knew the guy free Twitter. Yeah, I don't know him,
(09:22):
but I means and I remember I think he was
the one who did Zark Carwe's Mom's letter or letter
to the press or something.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Yeah, there's a lot of funny on Twitter.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
Actually, what so many funny people out there, and people
are dying to be funny and one of the reasons.
One of my big things in life right now at
this moment. Look, I worked at Happy Madison before it
was Happy Matters.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
That's Adam Sandler's that's.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
Adam Sales com production company. Basically, the people who there
from the beginning. We were all in college together, and
then after the movie started it and then Happy Madison
got formed. But I mean we were involved all the
way through.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Yeah, and they were okay, They're all okay with like
you being an outspoken conservative on Twitter.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
That's well.
Speaker 3 (10:18):
You know, there was a period of my life where
I didn't go as nuts on Twitter because I knew
that I that I represented Adam in the company, and
so I tried to be as respectful to him in
the company as I could. You know, at the end
of the day, I'm an adult, but I also understand
(10:38):
that I'm associated with a brand that you know, it's
not my position to go out there, so I would
try to keep things, you know, look like what sorry.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Right, arguments are fun.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
Yeah, I have now that because what happened was just
not to but to kind of get to what I'm
trying to explain to you is that three years ago
I had to take time off to deal with some
family issues. I thought it was only gonna be a
little bit and we are here, are we We are
here three years later, and I think it's time for
(11:15):
me to get back to work. I think I'm Kate.
I think that the situation I was dealing with is
almost done, and i'd like to get back to work. Earlier,
about a year ago, I thought I was getting ready
and I let Adam know that that I was going
to be leaving the company just because I'm I turned
sixty the other day, and so I was just.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
Like, while you really you do not look sixty.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
I feel like I'm look eighty now.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
But the people watching this on video will know.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
Oh yeah, but look at it. I have like two
overnight bags. I take my own luggage with me. But
so I said to him, my go look, I said,
I just I want to do something. I just want
to do something. I was like, I did everything that
was on my list of things. I said, So now
I got a new list of things, and that involves
(12:11):
I want to I just want to make R rated
comedies and bring them back to theaters. Yes, that's it,
that's amazing. And here's why this, to me, this is important.
It's not just hey, I want to be dumb and
make money.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
But making money is that bad?
Speaker 3 (12:28):
I have no fun? But yes, I wouldn't think it.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
It comes with money. Why not, you know.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
Money, I wouldn't have been able to be in the
position to take three years off to care for my family. Right,
I'm very eager to prop it off of my work, sure, sir.
And so that's my whole goal. And it's because my
daughter graduated high school this year. She's a film nerd.
(12:53):
Her friends are film nerds. They do not have a
single movie to call their own from her. I had ten, Yeah,
I had.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
So that's really what I was asking was nothing seems
like the funny kind of our radar.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
Actors are ridy, Yeah, rectors already. The studios are stupid.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
I am clear that hurdle.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
That's why I'm here talking to you.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
Yeah, all right, I love it.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
Any billionaires listening.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Yes, we have millions, Holly would.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
There's always money and disruption, Guys, Auckywood's broken distribution is broken.
I know a lot of Look, I've been out here
for thirty five forty years making movies, thankfully and luckily
I know a lot of the people who run the studios,
just because I've been out here so damn long. Right,
(13:54):
you know the guy like one of the you know,
you meet a guy who's someone's assistant. Twenty five years
later they show yeah, and you know, and these are
people who came out here to make movies, and they
get it. But there's this whole generation under them that's
(14:17):
making the decisions of what scripts get through the filter. Right,
have a clue, what's fun.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Yeah, that filter is holding up everything.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
Well, it's sad because look, I'll tell you this, this
isn't me. Everyone knows how I feel about things. My
daughter's friends are very artsy high school. They're begging for
already comedies. Right, These are not maga kids.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Yeah, let me think it's funny.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
A lot more conservative than people would think they are,
because the things they are conservative about are the things
that they're pushing back against that they feel are being
shoved out in their throats. Because these kids, who all
want to be filmmakers, they all watched Grahamar's Boy a
few Oh yeah, it was the first time my daughter
had seen it. Oh wow, she's on the state team.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
I thought it like played on like on loop in
your house.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
Oh god. My son is like, why do I watch
any of your movies?
Speaker 2 (15:11):
He told your son?
Speaker 3 (15:12):
Okay, so I'm just getting them through the happy gil
Moore's Yes with water Boys. I wouldn't even let them
watch Billy Madison.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
Oh, yeah, I mean I don't think.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
Yeah, I'm almost ready for my kids to see Billy Madison.
I remember laughing my face off at Billy Madison. That
was in college when it came out, and just like
my best friend and I just doubled over in pain
laughing in the movie theater. And I just that's what
I mean when I say I don't think things are funny,
because I can't imagine that seeing a movie that I
(15:42):
would find that funny today.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
I just I can't remember what the last movie I
saw like that.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
Maybether, can I But I've seen I've seen stand up guys.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Yeah, stand up a good place.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
Script I have scripts.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Right, Well, stand up is I think harder, harder to
cancel because it's one guy and it's like or girl,
and you're either laughing or you're not.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
Like movies, I'm gonna go I'll go do an arena
to k Yes.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Yes exactly.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
But movies you have the gatekeeper and you have the
people who put it through the filter. So I just
and none of it's and not just movies, but TV
shows or late night shows, like my god, these late
night hosts are not just not funny, but like unfunny, deeply,
deeply unfunny. They're angry and they're not at all humorous.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
And yeah, I've known the Jimmies, both of them. I've
known both of them for thirty five years. Tweet. I
met Jimmy Fallon when we were shooting The Wedding Singer,
and he was a stand up comic who had been
in town about two weeks. These guys are funny guys.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
So what happened to them? Why are they not funny anymore?
Speaker 3 (16:57):
It depends on what you watch. I mean, they're we're both,
I mean they both still do things that make me laugh.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Yeah, Jimmy Kimmel completely to me, come to.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
And it's part of the problem with Hollywood. Look, I
love Jimmy Kimmel. If I called Jimmy Kimmel and said
I need you to come be in this movie today,
he probably do it. He's always like friendly and sweet
and so nice. And you know, I don't agree with
his politics. Look, his old partner Adam Carolla doesn't really
(17:32):
with his right. Yeah, I just think that like when
when you're supposed to appeal to everyone and you make
a concerted effort to go after one person, insess me relentlessly.
A lot of people obviously a lot of people still watch.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
But I wouldn't even care.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
I would not even care if it was going after
one side, if it was funny, if he made me laugh,
I wouldn't care if you attacking my politics like it's
just it's so, it's just political ranting.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
Like I said, Look, I love those two guys. I
know Val since he was a kid. I remember talking
to him when he was nervous doing Saturday a lot.
You know, he's a great impressionist, he's a great writer.
He's really Look, you don't get to be that job
unless you actually are charming and can appeal to people. Yeah,
(18:28):
and uh, I just yeah, I think Jimmy was nice
to Trump.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Right, and then he had to apologize for that.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
Just got destroyed.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
Yeah, he cried in his apology.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
Well, a lot of people they look at their life
getting destroyed and they get scared.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
So when they ask you if you're not.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
Scared, because I don't care, I mean I really just don't.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
I've had that not caring quite a little far.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
But a great life, you know, said, I've lit a
great light.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
We're going to take a quick break and be right
back on the Carol Marcowitch Show.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
You know your first question was what do you worry about?
Speaker 2 (19:13):
Yeah, we didn't get to that. What do you worry about?
Speaker 3 (19:15):
Alan only thing I worry about my kids, that's it. Yeah,
that's it. But that involves so much, right, involves everything? Yeah,
you know, but that's it. I don't care about my job.
I'll go get them the job. I'll find us to do.
I'll be your co.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
Host, yes, if you my co You know, I really.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Don't care all those autographs at conventions every weekend to
put over my kid's head. All I care about is
my kids, right, That's all I worry. I worry about
their future. I worry about what they're being taught.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
My oldest daughter forced me to let her get vaccinated
so she could go see Harry Styles at Madison's Square Garden.
Any time gets sick, Yeah, I feel guilty. No, really,
it's because I get vaccinated and I worry about or
constantly because of that. Yeah, because the other three.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
I was just like no, right, but if it makes
me feel better, I think that the you know, the
time period has been long enough that you know the
problems would have potentially developed by now, so now, don't
beat yourself up over it. But I also I vaccinated
my oldest two with the pediatric vaccine to send them
to sleep Away Cam.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
And I, you know, I'm like, why didn't I just
spake a vaccine card like everybody else, what are they doing?
Speaker 3 (20:43):
Well, yeah, that's all I'm worried about. That's it. My kids,
their future, their health and you know. And but also
this relates, like me wanting to do these R rated
movies relates to that. Because here's my theory, mind, my
theory in my stupid head of why I think this
is important. These kids, I mean, all they do, all
(21:07):
they hear all day is how horrible everything is and
how they need to save the world because their parents
let them down. I mean, pressure on these kids is insane.
And I would really say, you're a kid, go out
with your friends and do something stupid. Go go go
(21:27):
hike and find a dead body. I can stand by me. Yeah,
I have a movie that I'm trying to get made
in connection with Bill Burr's company called All Things Comedy.
Look at the Guy. Like Bill Burr is a lot
of conservative, right, but if you heard left wing liberal,
(21:48):
you know, white women talk about it right, bill Burr's Tromp. Yes,
Bill Burr's not voting for Tromp.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
Right, and he has some of the better jokes about
the right.
Speaker 3 (21:59):
I think he The reason Gilbert's jokes are funny about
Trump is because they're funny, right, and he doesn't use
them to try to make people hate m But I
personally think I have a movie called Scavenger Hunt. It's
the most simple movie there is. It's Scavenger Hunt, Senior Night,
(22:23):
Scavenger Hunt, last day School. That's it. Cars full of kids,
you got the jocks, you got the nerds, you got
the arts seeds, you know, and all the chorus have titles.
It's like, you know, great writers. I don't have their
names in front of me, and I'm just clueless. But
I mean, I let my daughter read this script and
(22:45):
she goes, Wow, the dialogue's really good. It's not cringe.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
It's just for me, not cringe. That's the best complimented
teenager could give you.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
Here.
Speaker 3 (22:53):
Here's what one of her friends, who I know for
a fact is probably voting for Calabolas, said to me.
A guy, He's like, you need to make more funny movies,
he said, he said, all we ever get is literally
he said this to me. He said, all we ever
get is gender in suicide.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
Yeah, it's all so dark. It's like they're supposed to
be worried all the time.
Speaker 3 (23:17):
And it's just like I tell my son every day,
I go, who cares you ten? Go play baseball as
a google pliant tree in the backyard and pretend you're
a pirate. That's all I tell them all the time.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
Yeah, but they get They just get this kind of
pushed on them their whole lives. I mean, just the
fact that we, for example, teach climate change starting in kindergarten, Like, why,
even if you're a super pro climate change, you know,
pro telling everybody about it, why start telling them in
kindergarten that the world is in trouble.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
What is the kindergartener going to do for you? How
are they going to help to solve this problem.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
I have one of these crazy memories, not like become
a photographic but I just like to no, trust me,
if you had me read something, gave me a quiz
on it, I'd probably answer, well, But I just remember
stuff for my life. And I know for a fact
that one night I was watching All in the Family,
(24:17):
which it's one of my favorite shows ever. Well, I
was I think nine, maybe my son's age ten, and
it was the first time I'd ever heard about the
ozone hole. Meathead was going off about how we were
killing ourselves and that the ozone hole was going to
kill us all right, like ten years What year was that,
(24:39):
Probably seventy seven, seventy six, maybe I don't know. I'd
remember where were My dad was in law school, so
I was definitely ten and under. But I just remember
literally getting to knock in my stomach and getting scared.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
Yeah, yeah, it didn't help anything, right, You being scared
did not arou hole in the old Zone.
Speaker 3 (25:01):
I was watching an adult show, but I remember that fear. Yeah. Now,
I remember sitting here at sixty going what happened with.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
We fixed it? We like patched it?
Speaker 1 (25:12):
Right?
Speaker 3 (25:12):
Oh, look at Gore's movie. Yeah, not one prediction in
that movie came true.
Speaker 1 (25:19):
And you know it's not true because al Gore continued
living however he wanted and didn't change any of your Yeah, right,
so how concerned is he really?
Speaker 2 (25:30):
It's by the way, I didn't wonder about that.
Speaker 3 (25:33):
Look, I fly regular back in the day when I
was going around with sailor a lot. I will tell
you right now that there is no greater luxury on
earth than flying.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
I've only done it twice in my life, and it
was magical.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
Magical. Yeah, Oh it's so good. The car just meets
you on the tarmac. I mean unbeatable.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
Today, Okay, I mean it's literally like the most like
like the Pharaoh of Egypt did not live as well
as that.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
Not even close. Yeah, it's amazing.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
I'm not going to sit here and tell other people
you can't go on vacation, right.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
I know, we'll go on vacation.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Just don't lecture me while you're flying on your private
jet alone.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
Leonardo DiCaprio like a.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
Lot of others that I'm yeah right, and I mock them.
By the way, Look, most of a lot of people
are friends. There's people out here that do horrible things
that I'm not friends with. There's Hollywood as not. It
appears evil because the people who were evil seem to
be the loudest.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
Right now, there's almost true for every everything.
Speaker 3 (26:40):
So many good people out here. But the but the
problem is not so much evil. Is did he evil? Apparently? Yes?
Speaker 2 (26:49):
Sounds like it, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:50):
Sounds like it. Yes, evidence pointing to it. Yes, is
bob Iger evil?
Speaker 2 (26:54):
No?
Speaker 3 (26:55):
Is Bob Iger arrogant and deluded? Completely Bawbaiger thinks it's
his job to mold the brains of America's youth to
agree with what he agrees. That's right. I thinks that's
the right thing, and so is that.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
You know, well that ship up. I agree and to
market ruthlessly. But you know what's great right now is
uh uh Maya Rudolph and Dana Carvey on SNL. Yeah,
Oh my god. He's doing the Biden they should have
been doing for three and a half years, and she's
(27:34):
doing the Kamla that.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
They have to watch it.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
They did a couple of cold openings, and the reason
they're good is because they're not doing it out of hate.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
Yeah, cure to you.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
Maya does not hate Kamla, right, of course. I don't
know what Dana thinks. But his impression is not about
a man he hates, right, He's doing an impression about
a man he observes. And that's why guys like Shane
Gillis and Bill Bill Burr and these guys can make jokes.
(28:13):
People love Shane Gillis.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
Yeah, I love Shane Gilloss Trump ruthless all the time. Yeah,
but he does it in a way.
Speaker 3 (28:20):
That that's like not like this Mattheo Receivo Man on Earth.
It's like, listen funny this.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
Yeah, So what would you what advice would you give
your sixteen year old self coming.
Speaker 3 (28:34):
Up in this avon TI. Honestly, like I said before,
I've my life since from the time I was ten.
I mean I've I've I'm a lucky man. I ended
up in crazy places that I had no business being
long and some business no no, long before I was
(28:57):
ever in a movie. I mean, I just was never
afraid to go on adventures. I was never I don't know,
I really was dumb and had no fear and I looked,
you know, I don't want to be like some Oh,
but I you know, look, I've been in and out
(29:21):
of rehab. I was in a mental institution of rehab
where they blocked the doors every night. I hitchhiked across
the country when I was eighteen. Wow, I mean I
just was like, I did crazy stuff. I ended up
and I just weaseled my way into some amazing adventures.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
And I think you're not giving yourself enough credit. Yeah,
maybe you've had some some setbacks in your life, but
well I didn't weasel your way in you. You watch
them talented your way in my way in you charmed.
Speaker 3 (29:55):
Maybe.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
Okay, I'll give you that.
Speaker 3 (29:58):
Every every mistake I'm ended with the lesson nothing killed me.
People were like, do you wish you'd never done drugs? No,
because I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday
who I've been friends with forty years, that I met
in rehab, you know, and there's no time for my
life when that's the only guy who understood what I
was going through. He's amazing. I loved him, and I
(30:20):
would have I have at least fifteen people in my
life like that that. If I hadn't gone to a
mental institution, I wouldn't know them. And we all laugh.
We were like, we made it through. We were talking
about that yesterday. He was like, you turned sixty. He
goes a lot of people didn't think he'd make it
to thirty. And so my advice to my sixteen year
(30:43):
old self would just be, don't stray, just keep going,
just push on through. It's always going to have you
know anything, I swear to God, I told my son
this yesterday because he was upset about something, and I says, like, dude,
anything that doesn't kill you is a funny story. Your
leg hurts right now, I go next week you'll be
(31:03):
telling it and it's a funny story, right, It's like,
so just keep going. But yeah, then why is I
give to myself, you know, to my son, I'm like,
he sure.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Don't hurt your leg, it's not that funny.
Speaker 3 (31:16):
Well I always forget to give him his bike helmet though,
Oh no, really, people like he needs a bike helmet.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
I'm like, yeah, well, I've loved this conversation. I just
think you are hilarious, one of the best people ever.
I will absolutely send this to all the billionaires I know,
hopefully get.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
You some funding for that what in our movie? That
makes a lot of sense, I do.
Speaker 3 (31:40):
That's like, and I know how to market it where
you don't have to spend money on TV.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
There you go.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
I feel like that that is an easy proposal for somebody.
Speaker 3 (31:50):
To have the eight keepers. Let's get around them like bits, right.
But podcasting didn't exist ten years ago. Yeah, and now
it's literally the biggest thing driving media today.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
I think it's going to make it.
Speaker 3 (32:06):
Let's find a way to do it. Yeah, thank you
so much. I've always been and I I mean we've
been mutuals on Twitter for how long?
Speaker 2 (32:14):
I mean a long time. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
I have always loved following you. You're always again. I
love the funny.
Speaker 2 (32:20):
Funny is most important to me.
Speaker 3 (32:22):
Oh, I get violet when I here's the thing. Listen
if you see me on Twitter going after someone, just
remember this. I'm laughing right because I quote from it.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
I love they're laughing, but you're laughing.
Speaker 3 (32:37):
I'm laughing. I live from a stand up point of view.
If you're going to hackle me, I'm going to destroy it. Right.
It's like I'm not over here. Ay, you're over here
going look at this idiot? What else can maybe?
Speaker 1 (32:51):
I'm well and here with your best tip for my
listeners on how they can improve their lives.
Speaker 3 (32:58):
Don't listen to the haters. I know it's hard and
you don't have to be like supremely self confident, but
they don't. They're jealous, they're they're full of hate, They're
sad about their own lives. Don't don't let people look.
I would have quit. I would have quit the movie
business thirty five years ago because every movie I've ever
(33:19):
made is one of the lowest rated movies of all time.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
I'm not joking, is that true?
Speaker 3 (33:24):
Oh yeah?
Speaker 2 (33:26):
Talk about find somebody hits.
Speaker 3 (33:28):
People are like got the rare zero and rotten Tomatoes.
I think I have read zero Grandma's Boys I can
eat No really, oh yeah, yeah yeah. Don't listen to
the haters. They're stupid. Just enjoy your life, find find
the things that make you happy, and that's it. That's
the only thing I can do.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
Love it.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
Thank you so much for coming on, Ellen, Alan Colbert.
Check him out. Give him funding for a funny movie.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
We really really need it.
Speaker 3 (33:57):
Awesome, Carol, thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
Thanks so much for joining us on the Carol Marcowit Show.
Speaker 2 (34:02):
Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.
Hi, Welcome to the Carol mark Witz Show on Imheartradio.
It's hard to avoid the election. I'm super in it
like many of you, and I try to keep politics
out of this show, but obviously it seeps in from
time to time, and a few days before major presidential
election is just that kind of time. I'm already hearing
(00:25):
from people who are saying that their relationships, their friendships,
their family connections are getting strained.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Because of the election.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
On News Nation the other night, JD Vance said, if
you're discarding a lifelong friendship because somebody is voting for
the other team, then you've made a terrible, terrible mistake
and you should do something different. Don't cast aside family
members in lifelong friendships. Politics is not worth it. I
love that he said that, especially because he's on the
ticket obviously and should want people to care more about
(00:56):
voting for him than their friendships. It was nice of
him to say that. But I'm not going where you
think I'm going with all this. Yes, I think you
should keep politics separate from your friends and family. People
who love you can disagree with you have different values
than you all of it. I'm very kombayah about the
whole thing. Really, I have friends who I love who
(01:17):
are firmly on the left. I don't have any leftist family,
but that's.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Really just sheer luck.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Haha.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
What I want to say, though, is that we've been
talking on the show about making friends in adulthood, and
I actually think it's completely okay to not pursue friendship
with people on the opposite political side. I know it
doesn't make sense that I would say that, because I
just said I have lots of friends on the left,
So why am I dissuading you from friend making across
(01:48):
political lines? And look, if you meet someone, you're playing
tennis with them, you meet them at work, whatever, you
hit it off, and they have opposite politics but you
like each other. Of course, go for it friends. But
friendships in adulthood usually take more work than this. So
if you meet someone and before you really know if
(02:08):
they're funny, or if you have things in common or
any of that, you find out you're not politically aligned,
I think it's fine to say, eh, not going to
pursue this friendship, especially if your political ideals do really
matter to you. Plenty of people are mostly apolitical, so
if that's you, great, But if your politics do matter
(02:29):
to you, I say keep the old friends with whom
you're not politically aligned, But no need to be in
any big rush to make more of these.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
As you get.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Older, it's hard to maintain friendships. And I said in
a previous episode that things like hobbies might not actually
matter in new friendships as much as we think, but
values and outlook they might matter a lot more. Again,
to me, I find humor to be top of the list,
like our are we laughing at the same stuff? Can
(03:01):
we make each other laugh? That matters to me. So
if I meet a super leftist, I find them really
funny and we have amazing banter like that's to me
as a friend. But a relationship that I have to
work at and we don't have ideals in common. Tougher Again,
you meet somebody at work, you crack up all through
(03:22):
lunch and then she's voting for Kamala and you're voting
for Trump. But doesn't mean you can't be friends. You're
already pick her in grown up friendships. Give yourself permission
to sort by politics too. That's all I'm saying. Don't
discard people like JD Van said, but having similar lifestyles
to new friends that you make as a grown up
(03:45):
will go a long way into turning them into old friends.
If you've got thoughts on this, drop me an email
Carol Markowitz Show at gmail dot com. K A R
O L M A R K O W I c
asn't Charlie z is and Z Show at gmail dot com.
Coming up next and interview with Alan Colvert. Join us
(04:06):
after the break. Welcome back to the Carol Markowitz Show
on iHeartRadio. My guest today is Alan Covert. Alan is
an actor producer. You've seen him in all the Adam
Sandler movies, Happy Gilmore, the wedding singer, Little Nikki, all
of them. And he's also the star of the cult
classic where I first saw him, Grandma's Boy.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Hi, Alan, So nice to have you on.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
Hey, Carol, thanks for having me.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
I was thinking about this this is I've had a
lot of well known guests on the show, but you
are the guest that I cannot wait for like my
group of like non political, non Twitter nerd friends, like
my real crew of friends to see this, and they're
going to be like you had Grandma's Boy on, It's
going to be a very exciting moment.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
Well, thank you. I mean, you know, a cult. Look,
I'll take the cult, Oh for sure. I don't need
to be that famous. It's too much of an infringement
on your life.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
I like, are we not supposed to drink the kool
aid during the movie? Because I thought that's what?
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Oh no, no, no. I'm like the cult thing because you know,
it's small enough and rabid enough that I can, like,
you know, get a good seat at a restaurant if
there's a big line in the hosts, but not enough
to where like people bother me non stop. I've been
around people like that. Yeah right, I've spent a good
(05:27):
chunk of my life around people who can't go to
the mall. And I like going to the mall. But yeah,
but it's I'm glad people like it, and it's always
fun to have people mention it to me.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
So I did some research on you before the show.
Learned a lot of things I didn't know.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
You were born in.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
Florida, Yes, sported rays. Actually I didn't grow up on
pub where Markago is. I grew up where the people
who had jobs live, as if my dad had a job,
those poor people. Yeah, but I knew a lot of
people who lived on Palm Beach. You know, it's it's
(06:06):
a funny town. Uh so, But I remember when marro
Lago was empty. That kid was an abandoned mansion and
no one lived there. And then Trump bought it. He
bought it after I had moved and stuff. But yeah,
I grew up in South Florida.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
I love Palm Beach.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
I you know a lot of people compared to like
other rich you know, enclaves like the Hampton's or whatever,
the Palm Beach is so colorful and unusual. I just
I love it there. I mean, if if funny were
no object, I'd live.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
On the island. A friend of mine from high school
hit it big and he's got a house a block
off the beach about Worth End.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
I didn't even mind, like three blocks off the beach.
I'll take you.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
But it's like he bought that not because he cares
about living on Palm Beach, but because there is it's
a public beach. But to actually get there, you'd have
to walk like five miles.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
And there's nowhere to park. And yeah, they know what
they're doing over there. Yeah, So how did you get
into acting?
Speaker 2 (07:13):
What's your path here.
Speaker 3 (07:16):
It was something I always wanted to do. As a kid,
I did plays, and it's just always fascinated by movies.
I mean I was telling someone yesterday, we were talking
about old movies that we saw in the theaters, because
that's part of my whole thing I'm trying to do,
which we'll get to eventually. Gotta. I remember like just
(07:39):
riding my bike to the movie theater alone to see
a matinee of Young Frank and stuff. No, I remember
running home to get home in time to watch. I
loved Lucy. I was just I loved comedy. I loved
stand up comedy. I love cartoons that were funny. I
(08:00):
loved anything that made me laugh. And you know, Jerry Lewis, buddy,
it just whoever was funny. I was just obsessed with
and I don't know, but it was funn because then
when it came to like me doing it, I never
thought I was funny. So I just wanted to be
in movies. I wanted to be an actor, but then
(08:23):
I was funny.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Do people still try to be funny?
Speaker 1 (08:27):
I feel like a lot of funniness has been lost.
Do you see that or do you still find funny?
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Around.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
There's so much funnier, right, Yeah, but right now it's
pretty right now, it's pretty much in the stand up
realm and in the podcast and independent realm. Look, some
of the funniest people I've read are on.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Twitter, right, so you enjoyed the twittery of them?
Speaker 3 (08:54):
Three year Wetterman, Oh nobody.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
I love three year Letterman so good.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
And I just go, wow, you're a great writer. Yeah,
they're iowah. Oh yeah, so's the you know, autism of
the cars where he can literally see a fender and
be like nineteen twelve Henry Ford's personal you know, I mean,
I knew the guy free Twitter. Yeah, I don't know him,
(09:22):
but I means and I remember I think he was
the one who did Zark Carwe's Mom's letter or letter
to the press or something.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Yeah, there's a lot of funny on Twitter.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
Actually, what so many funny people out there, and people
are dying to be funny and one of the reasons.
One of my big things in life right now at
this moment. Look, I worked at Happy Madison before it
was Happy Matters.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
That's Adam Sandler's that's.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
Adam Sales com production company. Basically, the people who there
from the beginning. We were all in college together, and
then after the movie started it and then Happy Madison
got formed. But I mean we were involved all the
way through.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Yeah, and they were okay, They're all okay with like
you being an outspoken conservative on Twitter.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
That's well.
Speaker 3 (10:18):
You know, there was a period of my life where
I didn't go as nuts on Twitter because I knew
that I that I represented Adam in the company, and
so I tried to be as respectful to him in
the company as I could. You know, at the end
of the day, I'm an adult, but I also understand
(10:38):
that I'm associated with a brand that you know, it's
not my position to go out there, so I would
try to keep things, you know, look like what sorry.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Right, arguments are fun.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
Yeah, I have now that because what happened was just
not to but to kind of get to what I'm
trying to explain to you is that three years ago
I had to take time off to deal with some
family issues. I thought it was only gonna be a
little bit and we are here, are we We are
here three years later, and I think it's time for
(11:15):
me to get back to work. I think I'm Kate.
I think that the situation I was dealing with is
almost done, and i'd like to get back to work. Earlier,
about a year ago, I thought I was getting ready
and I let Adam know that that I was going
to be leaving the company just because I'm I turned
sixty the other day, and so I was just.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
Like, while you really you do not look sixty.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
I feel like I'm look eighty now.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
But the people watching this on video will know.
Speaker 3 (11:47):
Oh yeah, but look at it. I have like two
overnight bags. I take my own luggage with me. But
so I said to him, my go look, I said,
I just I want to do something. I just want
to do something. I was like, I did everything that
was on my list of things. I said, So now
I got a new list of things, and that involves
(12:11):
I want to I just want to make R rated
comedies and bring them back to theaters. Yes, that's it,
that's amazing. And here's why this, to me, this is important.
It's not just hey, I want to be dumb and
make money.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
But making money is that bad?
Speaker 3 (12:28):
I have no fun? But yes, I wouldn't think it.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
It comes with money. Why not, you know.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
Money, I wouldn't have been able to be in the
position to take three years off to care for my family. Right,
I'm very eager to prop it off of my work, sure, sir.
And so that's my whole goal. And it's because my
daughter graduated high school this year. She's a film nerd.
(12:53):
Her friends are film nerds. They do not have a
single movie to call their own from her. I had ten, Yeah,
I had.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
So that's really what I was asking was nothing seems
like the funny kind of our radar.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
Actors are ridy, Yeah, rectors already. The studios are stupid.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
I am clear that hurdle.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
That's why I'm here talking to you.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
Yeah, all right, I love it.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
Any billionaires listening.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Yes, we have millions, Holly would.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
There's always money and disruption, Guys, Auckywood's broken distribution is broken.
I know a lot of Look, I've been out here
for thirty five forty years making movies, thankfully and luckily
I know a lot of the people who run the studios,
just because I've been out here so damn long. Right,
(13:54):
you know the guy like one of the you know,
you meet a guy who's someone's assistant. Twenty five years
later they show yeah, and you know, and these are
people who came out here to make movies, and they
get it. But there's this whole generation under them that's
(14:17):
making the decisions of what scripts get through the filter. Right,
have a clue, what's fun.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Yeah, that filter is holding up everything.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
Well, it's sad because look, I'll tell you this, this
isn't me. Everyone knows how I feel about things. My
daughter's friends are very artsy high school. They're begging for
already comedies. Right, These are not maga kids.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Yeah, let me think it's funny.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
A lot more conservative than people would think they are,
because the things they are conservative about are the things
that they're pushing back against that they feel are being
shoved out in their throats. Because these kids, who all
want to be filmmakers, they all watched Grahamar's Boy a
few Oh yeah, it was the first time my daughter
had seen it. Oh wow, she's on the state team.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
I thought it like played on like on loop in
your house.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
Oh god. My son is like, why do I watch
any of your movies?
Speaker 2 (15:11):
He told your son?
Speaker 3 (15:12):
Okay, so I'm just getting them through the happy gil
Moore's Yes with water Boys. I wouldn't even let them
watch Billy Madison.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
Oh, yeah, I mean I don't think.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
Yeah, I'm almost ready for my kids to see Billy Madison.
I remember laughing my face off at Billy Madison. That
was in college when it came out, and just like
my best friend and I just doubled over in pain
laughing in the movie theater. And I just that's what
I mean when I say I don't think things are funny,
because I can't imagine that seeing a movie that I
(15:42):
would find that funny today.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
I just I can't remember what the last movie I
saw like that.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
Maybether, can I But I've seen I've seen stand up guys.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Yeah, stand up a good place.
Speaker 3 (15:54):
Script I have scripts.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Right, Well, stand up is I think harder, harder to
cancel because it's one guy and it's like or girl,
and you're either laughing or you're not.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
Like movies, I'm gonna go I'll go do an arena
to k Yes.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Yes exactly.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
But movies you have the gatekeeper and you have the
people who put it through the filter. So I just
and none of it's and not just movies, but TV
shows or late night shows, like my god, these late
night hosts are not just not funny, but like unfunny, deeply,
deeply unfunny. They're angry and they're not at all humorous.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
And yeah, I've known the Jimmies, both of them. I've
known both of them for thirty five years. Tweet. I
met Jimmy Fallon when we were shooting The Wedding Singer,
and he was a stand up comic who had been
in town about two weeks. These guys are funny guys.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
So what happened to them? Why are they not funny anymore?
Speaker 3 (16:57):
It depends on what you watch. I mean, they're we're both,
I mean they both still do things that make me laugh.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Yeah, Jimmy Kimmel completely to me, come to.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
And it's part of the problem with Hollywood. Look, I
love Jimmy Kimmel. If I called Jimmy Kimmel and said
I need you to come be in this movie today,
he probably do it. He's always like friendly and sweet
and so nice. And you know, I don't agree with
his politics. Look, his old partner Adam Carolla doesn't really
(17:32):
with his right. Yeah, I just think that like when
when you're supposed to appeal to everyone and you make
a concerted effort to go after one person, insess me relentlessly.
A lot of people obviously a lot of people still watch.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
But I wouldn't even care.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
I would not even care if it was going after
one side, if it was funny, if he made me laugh,
I wouldn't care if you attacking my politics like it's
just it's so, it's just political ranting.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
Like I said, Look, I love those two guys. I
know Val since he was a kid. I remember talking
to him when he was nervous doing Saturday a lot.
You know, he's a great impressionist, he's a great writer.
He's really Look, you don't get to be that job
unless you actually are charming and can appeal to people. Yeah,
(18:28):
and uh, I just yeah, I think Jimmy was nice
to Trump.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Right, and then he had to apologize for that.
Speaker 3 (18:36):
Just got destroyed.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
Yeah, he cried in his apology.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
Well, a lot of people they look at their life
getting destroyed and they get scared.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
So when they ask you if you're not.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
Scared, because I don't care, I mean I really just don't.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
I've had that not caring quite a little far.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
But a great life, you know, said, I've lit a
great light.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
We're going to take a quick break and be right
back on the Carol Marcowitch Show.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
You know your first question was what do you worry about?
Speaker 2 (19:13):
Yeah, we didn't get to that. What do you worry about?
Speaker 3 (19:15):
Alan only thing I worry about my kids, that's it. Yeah,
that's it. But that involves so much, right, involves everything? Yeah,
you know, but that's it. I don't care about my job.
I'll go get them the job. I'll find us to do.
I'll be your co.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
Host, yes, if you my co You know, I really.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Don't care all those autographs at conventions every weekend to
put over my kid's head. All I care about is
my kids, right, That's all I worry. I worry about
their future. I worry about what they're being taught.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
My oldest daughter forced me to let her get vaccinated
so she could go see Harry Styles at Madison's Square Garden.
Any time gets sick, Yeah, I feel guilty. No, really,
it's because I get vaccinated and I worry about or
constantly because of that. Yeah, because the other three.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
I was just like no, right, but if it makes
me feel better, I think that the you know, the
time period has been long enough that you know the
problems would have potentially developed by now, so now, don't
beat yourself up over it. But I also I vaccinated
my oldest two with the pediatric vaccine to send them
to sleep Away Cam.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
And I, you know, I'm like, why didn't I just
spake a vaccine card like everybody else, what are they doing?
Speaker 3 (20:43):
Well, yeah, that's all I'm worried about. That's it. My kids,
their future, their health and you know. And but also
this relates, like me wanting to do these R rated
movies relates to that. Because here's my theory, mind, my
theory in my stupid head of why I think this
is important. These kids, I mean, all they do, all
(21:07):
they hear all day is how horrible everything is and
how they need to save the world because their parents
let them down. I mean, pressure on these kids is insane.
And I would really say, you're a kid, go out
with your friends and do something stupid. Go go go
(21:27):
hike and find a dead body. I can stand by me. Yeah,
I have a movie that I'm trying to get made
in connection with Bill Burr's company called All Things Comedy.
Look at the Guy. Like Bill Burr is a lot
of conservative, right, but if you heard left wing liberal,
(21:48):
you know, white women talk about it right, bill Burr's Tromp. Yes,
Bill Burr's not voting for Tromp.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
Right, and he has some of the better jokes about
the right.
Speaker 3 (21:59):
I think he The reason Gilbert's jokes are funny about
Trump is because they're funny, right, and he doesn't use
them to try to make people hate m But I
personally think I have a movie called Scavenger Hunt. It's
the most simple movie there is. It's Scavenger Hunt, Senior Night,
(22:23):
Scavenger Hunt, last day School. That's it. Cars full of kids,
you got the jocks, you got the nerds, you got
the arts seeds, you know, and all the chorus have titles.
It's like, you know, great writers. I don't have their
names in front of me, and I'm just clueless. But
I mean, I let my daughter read this script and
(22:45):
she goes, Wow, the dialogue's really good. It's not cringe.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
It's just for me, not cringe. That's the best complimented
teenager could give you.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
Here.
Speaker 3 (22:53):
Here's what one of her friends, who I know for
a fact is probably voting for Calabolas, said to me.
A guy, He's like, you need to make more funny movies,
he said, he said, all we ever get is literally
he said this to me. He said, all we ever
get is gender in suicide.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
Yeah, it's all so dark. It's like they're supposed to
be worried all the time.
Speaker 3 (23:17):
And it's just like I tell my son every day,
I go, who cares you ten? Go play baseball as
a google pliant tree in the backyard and pretend you're
a pirate. That's all I tell them all the time.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
Yeah, but they get They just get this kind of
pushed on them their whole lives. I mean, just the
fact that we, for example, teach climate change starting in kindergarten, Like, why,
even if you're a super pro climate change, you know,
pro telling everybody about it, why start telling them in
kindergarten that the world is in trouble.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
What is the kindergartener going to do for you? How
are they going to help to solve this problem.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
I have one of these crazy memories, not like become
a photographic but I just like to no, trust me,
if you had me read something, gave me a quiz
on it, I'd probably answer, well, But I just remember
stuff for my life. And I know for a fact
that one night I was watching All in the Family,
(24:17):
which it's one of my favorite shows ever. Well, I
was I think nine, maybe my son's age ten, and
it was the first time I'd ever heard about the
ozone hole. Meathead was going off about how we were
killing ourselves and that the ozone hole was going to
kill us all right, like ten years What year was that,
(24:39):
Probably seventy seven, seventy six, maybe I don't know. I'd
remember where were My dad was in law school, so
I was definitely ten and under. But I just remember
literally getting to knock in my stomach and getting scared.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
Yeah, yeah, it didn't help anything, right, You being scared
did not arou hole in the old Zone.
Speaker 3 (25:01):
I was watching an adult show, but I remember that fear. Yeah. Now,
I remember sitting here at sixty going what happened with.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
We fixed it? We like patched it?
Speaker 1 (25:12):
Right?
Speaker 3 (25:12):
Oh, look at Gore's movie. Yeah, not one prediction in
that movie came true.
Speaker 1 (25:19):
And you know it's not true because al Gore continued
living however he wanted and didn't change any of your Yeah, right,
so how concerned is he really?
Speaker 2 (25:30):
It's by the way, I didn't wonder about that.
Speaker 3 (25:33):
Look, I fly regular back in the day when I
was going around with sailor a lot. I will tell
you right now that there is no greater luxury on
earth than flying.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
I've only done it twice in my life, and it
was magical.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
Magical. Yeah, Oh it's so good. The car just meets
you on the tarmac. I mean unbeatable.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
Today, Okay, I mean it's literally like the most like
like the Pharaoh of Egypt did not live as well
as that.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
Not even close. Yeah, it's amazing.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
I'm not going to sit here and tell other people
you can't go on vacation, right.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
I know, we'll go on vacation.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Just don't lecture me while you're flying on your private
jet alone.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
Leonardo DiCaprio like a.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
Lot of others that I'm yeah right, and I mock them.
By the way, Look, most of a lot of people
are friends. There's people out here that do horrible things
that I'm not friends with. There's Hollywood as not. It
appears evil because the people who were evil seem to
be the loudest.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
Right now, there's almost true for every everything.
Speaker 3 (26:40):
So many good people out here. But the but the
problem is not so much evil. Is did he evil? Apparently? Yes?
Speaker 2 (26:49):
Sounds like it, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:50):
Sounds like it. Yes, evidence pointing to it. Yes, is
bob Iger evil?
Speaker 2 (26:54):
No?
Speaker 3 (26:55):
Is Bob Iger arrogant and deluded? Completely Bawbaiger thinks it's
his job to mold the brains of America's youth to
agree with what he agrees. That's right. I thinks that's
the right thing, and so is that.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
You know, well that ship up. I agree and to
market ruthlessly. But you know what's great right now is
uh uh Maya Rudolph and Dana Carvey on SNL. Yeah,
Oh my god. He's doing the Biden they should have
been doing for three and a half years, and she's
(27:34):
doing the Kamla that.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
They have to watch it.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
They did a couple of cold openings, and the reason
they're good is because they're not doing it out of hate.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
Yeah, cure to you.
Speaker 3 (27:51):
Maya does not hate Kamla, right, of course. I don't
know what Dana thinks. But his impression is not about
a man he hates, right, He's doing an impression about
a man he observes. And that's why guys like Shane
Gillis and Bill Bill Burr and these guys can make jokes.
(28:13):
People love Shane Gillis.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
Yeah, I love Shane Gilloss Trump ruthless all the time. Yeah,
but he does it in a way.
Speaker 3 (28:20):
That that's like not like this Mattheo Receivo Man on Earth.
It's like, listen funny this.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
Yeah, So what would you what advice would you give
your sixteen year old self coming.
Speaker 3 (28:34):
Up in this avon TI. Honestly, like I said before,
I've my life since from the time I was ten.
I mean I've I've I'm a lucky man. I ended
up in crazy places that I had no business being
long and some business no no, long before I was
(28:57):
ever in a movie. I mean, I just was never
afraid to go on adventures. I was never I don't know,
I really was dumb and had no fear and I looked,
you know, I don't want to be like some Oh,
but I you know, look, I've been in and out
(29:21):
of rehab. I was in a mental institution of rehab
where they blocked the doors every night. I hitchhiked across
the country when I was eighteen. Wow, I mean I
just was like, I did crazy stuff. I ended up
and I just weaseled my way into some amazing adventures.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
And I think you're not giving yourself enough credit. Yeah,
maybe you've had some some setbacks in your life, but
well I didn't weasel your way in you. You watch
them talented your way in my way in you charmed.
Speaker 3 (29:55):
Maybe.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
Okay, I'll give you that.
Speaker 3 (29:58):
Every every mistake I'm ended with the lesson nothing killed me.
People were like, do you wish you'd never done drugs? No,
because I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday
who I've been friends with forty years, that I met
in rehab, you know, and there's no time for my
life when that's the only guy who understood what I
was going through. He's amazing. I loved him, and I
(30:20):
would have I have at least fifteen people in my
life like that that. If I hadn't gone to a
mental institution, I wouldn't know them. And we all laugh.
We were like, we made it through. We were talking
about that yesterday. He was like, you turned sixty. He
goes a lot of people didn't think he'd make it
to thirty. And so my advice to my sixteen year
(30:43):
old self would just be, don't stray, just keep going,
just push on through. It's always going to have you
know anything, I swear to God, I told my son
this yesterday because he was upset about something, and I says, like, dude,
anything that doesn't kill you is a funny story. Your
leg hurts right now, I go next week you'll be
(31:03):
telling it and it's a funny story, right, It's like,
so just keep going. But yeah, then why is I
give to myself, you know, to my son, I'm like,
he sure.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Don't hurt your leg, it's not that funny.
Speaker 3 (31:16):
Well I always forget to give him his bike helmet though,
Oh no, really, people like he needs a bike helmet.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
I'm like, yeah, well, I've loved this conversation. I just
think you are hilarious, one of the best people ever.
I will absolutely send this to all the billionaires I know,
hopefully get.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
You some funding for that what in our movie? That
makes a lot of sense, I do.
Speaker 3 (31:40):
That's like, and I know how to market it where
you don't have to spend money on TV.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
There you go.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
I feel like that that is an easy proposal for somebody.
Speaker 3 (31:50):
To have the eight keepers. Let's get around them like bits, right.
But podcasting didn't exist ten years ago. Yeah, and now
it's literally the biggest thing driving media today.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
I think it's going to make it.
Speaker 3 (32:06):
Let's find a way to do it. Yeah, thank you
so much. I've always been and I I mean we've
been mutuals on Twitter for how long?
Speaker 2 (32:14):
I mean a long time. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
I have always loved following you. You're always again. I
love the funny.
Speaker 2 (32:20):
Funny is most important to me.
Speaker 3 (32:22):
Oh, I get violet when I here's the thing. Listen
if you see me on Twitter going after someone, just
remember this. I'm laughing right because I quote from it.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
I love they're laughing, but you're laughing.
Speaker 3 (32:37):
I'm laughing. I live from a stand up point of view.
If you're going to hackle me, I'm going to destroy it. Right.
It's like I'm not over here. Ay, you're over here
going look at this idiot? What else can maybe?
Speaker 1 (32:51):
I'm well and here with your best tip for my
listeners on how they can improve their lives.
Speaker 3 (32:58):
Don't listen to the haters. I know it's hard and
you don't have to be like supremely self confident, but
they don't. They're jealous, they're they're full of hate, They're
sad about their own lives. Don't don't let people look.
I would have quit. I would have quit the movie
business thirty five years ago because every movie I've ever
(33:19):
made is one of the lowest rated movies of all time.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
I'm not joking, is that true?
Speaker 3 (33:24):
Oh yeah?
Speaker 2 (33:26):
Talk about find somebody hits.
Speaker 3 (33:28):
People are like got the rare zero and rotten Tomatoes.
I think I have read zero Grandma's Boys I can
eat No really, oh yeah, yeah yeah. Don't listen to
the haters. They're stupid. Just enjoy your life, find find
the things that make you happy, and that's it. That's
the only thing I can do.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
Love it.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
Thank you so much for coming on, Ellen, Alan Colbert.
Check him out. Give him funding for a funny movie.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
We really really need it.
Speaker 3 (33:57):
Awesome, Carol, thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
Thanks so much for joining us on the Carol Marcowit Show.
Speaker 2 (34:02):
Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.
Host
Karol Markowicz
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