January 4, 2024 • 28 mins
Start the New Year by listening to Dana’s interview with Country Music artist, Jay Allen, who was formerly one of the top contestants on THE VOICE, Season 22. An Alzheimer’s Association Celebrity Champion, Jay has brought more awareness about the disease through his advocacy and music talent. His 2018 hit, “Blank Stares,” is a powerful tribute to his mother and went viral, reaching over five million views on Facebook. Dana’s thoughtful conversation in this episode includes Jay’s poignant memories of his late mom who was diagnosed with younger onset Alzheimer’s disease at age 51 and her inspiration in his music today. Jay lends his voice and his tender experiences with his mom to help others navigate through the disease journey. One of his top recommendations for caregivers is “You have to absolutely take one day at a time.”
Do you have a question for Dana? Email her directly at thememorywhisperer@gmail.com or visit www.thememorywhisperer.com for additional resources.
The Memory Whisperer podcast is written and produced by Dana Territo, with help from audio editor Blake Langlinais. Additional production support from Ryan Martz and Julia Weaver. Special thanks to Michael Andrews, a person with dementia, and Innovations in Dementia, CIC for our flute music. Graphics by Xdesign.
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See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
It started with Peggy, someone with Alzheimer's who never knew
my name and who I companion at her nursing home
residence for twenty two years.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Her influence in.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
My life and the values I received from growing up
with grandparents living in our home are the guiding forces
and my love and advocacy for the Alzheimer's population. I
am a newspaper columnist for The Advocate in Baton Rouge, Louisiana,
and the author of What My Grandchildren Taught Me About
Alzheimer's Disease. And now I'm launching a podcast. Hi, you're
(00:39):
listening to Dana Tito the Memory Whisper. Join me in
these podcasts as we engage in thoughtful conversations about Alzheimer's
disease and other dementias.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
Today, I welcome country music singer Jay Allen. He was
one of the top contestants on The Voice season twenty
x two and grew up near Cedar Falls, Iowa. He
was influenced by the music he heard from both his
father at rock concert and his mother, who would sing
country tunes on long car rides. Jay attributes his love
for country music to his mother and what ultimately led
(01:16):
him to move to Nashville in twenty thirteen. His twenty
eighteen hit Blank Stares is a powerful tribute to his mother,
who suffered from early onset Alzheimer's. It went viral and
helped raise awareness for the Alzheimer's Association, reaching over five
hundred billion views on Facebook, and its showcased Jay's raw
(01:37):
talent and his dedication as an Alzheimer's celebrity champion. As
a result of his advocacy efforts, Jay has received numerous accolades,
including the Caregiver Award from the National Alzheimer's Association. He
also was named Favorite Competition Contestant at the twenty twenty
two Country Now Awards and was featured in the Music
(01:58):
Madhem magazine to twenty three artists to watch. I'm so
happy to welcome Jay Allen.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
So tell us a little bit about yourself and how's
life in Nashville?
Speaker 4 (02:11):
Now, Well, I'm really in Nashville anymore because I've been
touring so much. Life was good, though, you know. I
got married last year to Miss Kylie Morgan and kind
of been off to the races since the voice happened.
I really never thought I would be the guy to
go on that show the Voice, and I'm so glad
that I did because they they let me sing this
(02:31):
song that I wrote for my mother blank stairs, and
they told the story so beautifully. And so you know,
at that point we had helped raise one hundred million
dollars to audience Alzheimer's. But since then it's created even
more up to me, so I think we've already surpassed
another million bucks raised since being on the Voice. So yeah,
and then I just got to announce that I signed
(02:52):
a record deal. SOT. A lot of good has happened
in a very short period of time. I'm trying my
best to keep up and make good choices.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Your life is it a tailspin now?
Speaker 4 (03:03):
H Yeah, in a good way, in a good way.
Learning to find balance and take care of myself as well.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
So your mother's name was Sherry. When did you first
start noticing kind of some deficits with her?
Speaker 4 (03:17):
Yeah? So you know, looking back now, we actually saw
signs of dementia I would say in her forties, but
we were so uneducated to the matter that we didn't
recognize it until it was too late. What happened was
I got a phone call from my dad, we call
him Pops, and I've been in Nashville for a couple
of years already. He called me and said, I just
(03:37):
feel I'll get to let you know what happened this
morning with your mother. She called and she'd gone to
the same place at work for years and years and years,
which she had pulled over on the side of the
road and she was crying. She said, I don't know
where I am, I don't know where I'm going. Please
come pick me up. And she was diagnosed with what's
called early onset all Summer's when she was fifty one.
They called early onset because she was.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
So young before the age of sixty five. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (04:02):
Yeah, Now I've heard stories of even you know, thirty five,
thirty six, you know. So it's kind of a myth
that it affects only the elderly. It's so not true.
And in our case, mom was fifty fifty one, you know,
so it took her life in two years and nine months.
You know, what was she like?
Speaker 2 (04:20):
I mean, tell me a little bit about share. What
did she do and what did she love?
Speaker 4 (04:24):
My mother was so selfless, and she was shy. She
did not want any attention on herself. I asked her,
a really heavy question when I was a younger kid
and I said, hey, Mama, why do you think God
put you on planet Earth? What do you think your purpose?
Was kind of a jerk thing to ask them other.
She didn't even flinch, and she just said, Jay got
(04:45):
to put me here to be your mother. That's all
she wanted to be her. Her brothers and sisters, and
my grandma for she passed, would tell stories and my
mom would always be carrying around baby dolls. She always
just knew that she wanted to be a mama, you know,
So that's how she raised me. I was the center
of for a world, and I was a kazi little kid,
but I also loved, you know, even when we didn't
(05:07):
have a lot of attention. Yeah, I was the oldest
and the only son, so you know, we didn't have
a lot growing up, Like a lot of people didn't
have a lot, but for us it was Mom and
dad had to work really, really hard, and they were
gone a lot, even if I wanted that, you know,
stupid PlayStation ers whatever, to keep up with the jones
as she would take that extra shift. She you know,
(05:30):
she would even take a second job just to make
sure that we had the gifts that we wanted for
Christmas or our birthday, just to make sure that we
felt like we were loved and at least equals to
our peers. And so I never lacked with that. She loved,
you know, simple things in life like you know, going
to her church group, scrap booking, she loved cheering us
(05:51):
on at our sporting events. You know, she loved just
being with her family and being home. She didn't need
a lot, you know. I was raised by that, just
the most kind human being. So uh, yeah, I try to.
I try to. I try to take that and all
that she instilled in me and you know, exemplified as
much as I can in my life.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
So what was your first reaction to her diagnosis and
how did you cope with it? Uh?
Speaker 4 (06:17):
You know, so there's stages that we all go through. Uh.
For me, it didn't really hit me until I actually
saw her physically in person. So my dad made the
ten and a half hour drive from a small town,
Iowa where I grew up to Nashville, where you know,
I've been living now for ten years. And I knew
she was sick. He had explained it to me, but
(06:39):
I hadn't seen it with my own eyes until I
opened up the door of my home and she walked in.
Just I was a stranger to her, Like I said,
you know, she raised me like I was the center
of not only her universe, but the universe. I felt
that one thousand that day. She didn't know who it
was and looked straight through me, and it definitely broke
(07:00):
something inside of me in a way where you know,
we have two options in life and tough moments, it's
fight or flight, and I always choose fight. I always
go to war. In that moment, it was just like
an out of body experience. I don't know how to
explain it, where you know, you're looking at the situation
and you think that can't be me, that can't be us.
So I told my dad, I said, we got to
(07:21):
get out of here, and I don't know how to
handle this moment. So we went to a well known
venue here in Nashville called the Suttler and walked in.
And that's really what my world changed, when you know,
when I went from being heartbroken to inspired, when I
saw how music can truly affect people. And so, you know,
people that have dementia and Alzheimer's, a lot of a
(07:42):
lot of the time, they have a blank look in
their eyes, they have a glossy look. They're not really present,
They're overwhelmed. But we opened up the door of that
venue and there was a band on stage and there
was music playing, and that all went away and my
mother came back almost instantaneously. Uh pulled her to the
front of the venue, right from the stage and we
(08:04):
started slow dancing to a fast song. And I just
felt mom and take a deep breath and she just
leaned and she just said, Oh, okay, I've missed you, son,
I love you. It's so good to be here. I
had my mother back for an instant because of music,
you know. And suddenly it was oh my gosh, like
there is a there may be a solution to this,
you know. Uh, here comes the fixer side of me now.
(08:26):
So Uh I wrote a song. It was a sad moment,
but it was a positive thought. And the idea was,
I still see you, I still see you. You're in there,
I see you in between the blank stairs. So that's
where the song came from.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
And that was before blank stairs.
Speaker 4 (08:42):
That was Blake Stairs. That's how Blake Stairs come came through.
And so Uh, I would do everything in my power
while they're here in Nashville to come visit us and
and just to get to have those moments with her,
to have my mother back. But really the only thing
that ever truly did it was music, sitting down and
playing her songs. You know. So I wrote that song
my music row with a good buddy of mine, and
(09:05):
I can't I can tell you, you know, I've learned the
hard way, and I'm sure you have too. You can
only plan so much. You can plan your life and
work towards your goals so much. Sometimes things are just
meant to be. Sometimes things just happened. Because you know,
that's where my faith comes in, where I truly believe that,
you know, there's a guy that has a plan for
us and a purpose for us, because I could not
(09:25):
have planned what happened. Next, I wrote that song and
I had a heartache at a heartbreak and a therapy
out of trying to help my mother. I didn't really
know what it was. It just came out of me.
It felt like it just a gift was given to me,
and just some very important people heard that song very quickly,
and you know, I made a promise, you know it
was the head of Sony Nashville at the time. He said, Yeah,
(09:48):
I'm listening to your song and ball in my eyes
out because I took care of my dad. He had
Alzheimer's and passed away. He was his caregiver for the
last five years of his life, and so I know
exactly what this song is about. He said, just make
me a promise. I'm going to get this song out
to some important people and spread the word about this.
We're gonna do some great things with this song. Just
make me a promise that we're going to give away
(10:08):
every dime that we make from it back towards this cause.
I said, yes, sir, And that's exactly what happened. Before
I knew it, it was getting played on radio stations on
serious exem The National Alzheimer's Association was calling me. They're
inviting me to play all their galas and fundraisers and events,
and it really turned into a spiderweb effect. You know.
Before I knew I raised my head, and like I said,
(10:30):
we raised all this money and brought all this attention
to a disease that's really hard to talk about that
you know, has a lot of misconceptions about it. You know,
and we've brought a lot of light to it, which
I'm very very proud of. And you know, now we're
starting to make some headway, which is really really cool
to see for me to do with that, Yeah, you know,
(10:54):
it's it's it's cool to look back now. And you know,
I used to be sad for a long time. It
took me a long time to You always grieve people
that you lose, but there comes a point I believe
where you're where you're like, you choose to be okay,
you know. For me, I chose to believe. For me,
I chose to believe that my mother is in heaven
and she's much better than me, but she's still watching
(11:15):
over me and guiding me. And the loss of her
life gave my life purpose and now to me, it's
more of a beautiful thing than a sad thing, you know.
So it's cool now to kind of sit back and
you know, I get to have conversations like this and
realize that, you know, all the prayers and all the
hard work starting to pay off.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
So what would you say were your greatest challenges with
your mom?
Speaker 4 (11:45):
I think for me, it's like my biggest regret is
even though I'm you can't have any regrets. You can't
turn back time. But one of my greats regrets for
a long time was I, instead of spending time with
her and physically with her, I took it upon myself
to go out on the road and take every interview
(12:05):
and become a warrior against this thing. And I missed
a lot of moments with her, and so the moments
that I did have were space depart and so every
time I saw her, you could definitely tell the decline
and how quickly it was taking her. We went from okay,
mom sick to okay, mom's really sick, to Okay, we're
(12:26):
scrambling to figure this out, to oh my gosh, like
we have to we need help, we need money, we
need to put her in a care facility center. And
then it's like, oh, now she's she's entered that phase
where we're all not looking forward to, you know, the
angry coming out, which did eventually. She was not an
angry person, she was the opposite. So to see that
(12:46):
come out and her was that just absolutely crushed me,
you know, to see her lash out and be physical.
And then the very end, you know, like I said,
I was on the road. So my last phone call,
I was on the road of my band, and my
sister called me and said, this is going to be
the last time. You know, I had to physically, I
(13:07):
had to figure out how to fund it myself. My
father and my family unfortunately were not prepared financially. So
I'm the one that had to take the brunt of
it and pay for the care facility center. She lasted
six six weeks in that facility center. She I think
once we got her in there, she kind of threw
in the towel and she lost the ability to swallow,
(13:28):
which is very common, so she couldn't. Even feeding her
through tubes was not working, so she it just it
happened so abruptly at that point, so I knew it
was coming. Uh, but time, you know, time happened quickly
for me. And so little sister called me and said, uh,
(13:51):
it's given me last time. We're going to talk to mom.
So the band, she was on speakerphone. So the band
immediately pulled over the vehicle over our tour vand and
we got you know, we're somewhere between North Carolina and Savannah, Georgia,
and I had to play a show that night, Savannah, Georgia.
So the band put their arms around me and me cried,
and I had that last conversation with Mom, and that
was that will go down as the hardest moment of
(14:12):
my life. Uh so, the longest goodbye. Man, it's you
can we can say that till we're blue in the
in the face and try to explain that to other people.
You just can't wrap your head around it until you
experience it, you know. And that's what it is.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
The challenge is what blessings did you find?
Speaker 4 (14:32):
Oh? Uh? You learned hold on to the happy moments?
Uh you know, uh, you know, first the moment when
I realized the power of music that instilled in me,
like gosh, dang, that's why, that's why God gave me
the gift of music, you know. And I feel like
there's a strength inside of me that you know sometimes
that I don't even know how how I find it,
(14:54):
but I find it. He put that there so I
could utilize that gift to take that sad thing that
happened to us with Mom and turning and something beautiful.
And so I started holding onto the happy moments, like
you know, realizing that you know, music helps her. Oh,
music helps. Everyone has the metro.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
And then a universal language with people with alzheimer.
Speaker 4 (15:19):
Something is the universal language. So you know, that was
the first blessing, and then you know, having her on
stage with us, that was a that was a conflicting
decision to make. Uh it hit me like a brick
wall again on the road. I was like, man, we
always tell this story and I always sing this song
on every show. Sometimes I just didn't feel like it
(15:42):
was hitting people or impacting people as much as I
wanted it to. So I thought, you know what we
can We can only teach so people so much with
our words blue in the face. What better way to
teach people then to show them, you know. So I
had this vision to bring Mom on stage. She was
very sick at that point. So I called Dad and
(16:02):
I explained to him my thought process, and I said,
you can say no if you think it's not a
good idea, or you know, taking advantage of her, Like
I don't want to. I don't want to come off
that way at all. I wanted to be a beautiful moment.
I said, I'm gonna have you side stage at this show.
We're going to be in front of a couple thousand people.
I said, when we get to this point in the set,
right before I tell the story and sing a song,
(16:23):
I'm going to look at you, you give me the nod.
And so I looked at him, he gave me the
nod and she was all smiles. So I brought her out,
and uh what happened next? I mean, we're playing in
front of a crowd opening up for Jaco w In,
a well known country artist, and a couple thousand people
that were there to party shut up and they listened
and they saw it with their own eyes, and I
(16:44):
just said, hey, y'all, not to be a downer, but
this is my mom that's really sick. She has what's
called early on said all songers. I want to tell
her story and I want to sing the song I
wrote for her, and uh so it took a video,
and uh that's when I saw the power of social media.
So now we have the power of music. That was
the power of social media and for me, so it's
a media is community. You know, it's a place where
(17:05):
you can do a lot of bad there, but also
you can do a lot of good.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
I love the way you start out. Blank stares with
her voice such a beautiful preamble to the song.
Speaker 4 (17:15):
Yeah, and she my dad had walked her to coached
her through calling me on my birthday, and I had
missed it, but I kept the voicemail, and then I realized, Wow,
she really truly. That's another moment it hit me like,
this is real, this is happening to us, you know,
to hear her fumble through her words and forget even
what she was saying or who she was calling, and
(17:37):
why she even had the phone in her hand. So
I kept that voicemail just and I listened to it
every now and then periodically, just remind myself that this
was really happening, and it really kept a fire in
my belly. So we wanted to put it on the
front end of that song because it makes it even
more real.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
She died into the nineteen right, you said, I was
reading that it led to a strengthening of relationships, like
with your siblings and with your wife.
Speaker 4 (18:09):
How so, Yes, So I always believed family was important.
I have two little sisters, blond hair, blue eyes, and
my dad and I worked very close until mom got sick,
and so, you know, long stories work something that happened
in our family, and I kind of had held it
against my dad. He hadn't spoken for two years, and
(18:32):
then Mom got sick, and so I just decided, you
know what, I only get one dad, you know, despite
our differences. So I called him and I said, here's
the deal. Mom's sick. We know she's not going to
live very long. So how about you make me a promise.
If you take care of her and love her till
the very end, you and I are good and will
(18:53):
always be good. You couldn't do no wrong. He kept
his promise, and he loved her and took care of
her in such as selfless and beautiful way for those
two years and nine months. Him and I are always good,
you know. Uh, he's in the front row and every
show that every time I come close to Iowa or
the Midwest, he's there in the front row, fist bumping,
and it's all of you know, my little sisters. Like
(19:15):
you know, we all get busy and get overwhelmed. But
I just find the time, you know, we find the
time to talk. Every time I'm in the car, I
call my little sisters and we've never been closer, you know.
And and then now I have a nephew, you know,
he's a year and a half and so he's filled
a big void in our lives too. Lost Mama, but
we gained Banayah.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
You know.
Speaker 4 (19:36):
So family is really everything, you know, even even family
that's not blood. You know, the people that God put
in your life and put in your circle, just I've
just learned to invest in them and take the time.
That's why I'm sick today because I had two and
a half days that I could have taken off just
to relax and be, you know, have some alone time.
(19:59):
But instead, you know, Kylie was like, I would really
love for you to come out to Oklahoma and be
with family and friends. We all kind of had a
couple of days despair. So it was honestly the last
thing that I wanted to do. But I'm so glad
that I did it because you can't get that time back,
you know, and now that will last for an eternity
from the last two days. So I've just realized the
(20:20):
importance of family and friends through the loss, and so
another accounted for a giant blessing because of my mama,
you know.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
So you filmed that video No prayer like Mama's in
the Fred Sims Chapel in Cleveland, South Carolina, which was
I think a big task for your for your crew
and company to get out there. What I read, it's
on the side of a mountain. That's really beautiful, you said,
But you also said it was very carthotic for you
when you did that song, and it was like a release.
(20:49):
Was that after your mother had died?
Speaker 4 (20:52):
Yes, from the very beginning, So I can't remember where
I was, but the music video directors are really good
friends of mine, and we were scouting a location and
so I was I can't remember where I was, like
in Michigan or something, and they were sending me videos
and photos of different locations. And we originally thought no,
(21:14):
to make a music video, it's very expensive. So now
that I have a label deal, I have a budget,
but it's not crazy. So we're trying to stay in
the budget. And so we're thinking, let's find a cool chapel,
you know, a beautiful church or something in Tennessee, close
to Nashville. And they said, actually, man, long shot, but
we found this. We found this chapel in North Carolina.
(21:34):
Sent me the picture with the you know, and they
sent me the videos that it all go viral on
social media. And I just I saw one look and
I just knew, like we have, it has to be there,
and so I said, if y'all can find a way.
So they called the event coordinator there that books the
space and called back and they said, well, just renting
(21:54):
the space for the time that we need it is
going to wipe off your entire budget. That doesn't cover
the cost of all the work involved, the extras. We
have to hire your time and your travel. I was like, well,
that's not going to work. And Tessa, the main music
video director, she goes, you know what, Jay, It's laid
upon my heart and I feel like we got to
(22:15):
make this happen no matter what. She goes, let me
call him back one more time. So she called me
back literally twenty minutes later. She said, you'll never believe this.
God just provided I told them your entire story, sent
them all the links to your music, updated them, are
really what you stand for and what you've done and
what happened to your mother, sent them this song, no
(22:36):
prayer like Mama's. And their response was, we've never done
a music video here, we never will again except for
this one. So call and tell Jay we're offering it
to him for free of charge, so that that is
the only way we got yeah, and then you know,
it wasn't easy to get there. But then when we
(22:57):
got there, call time was like five in the morning.
So as I'm walking in, I'm watching the sun rise
and it is really a chapel built into the side
of a mountain, and you're overlooking like it has to
be at least twenty miles of mountains, and then the
sun rising through these mountains, and I was just like,
this is the moment that I needed, that God knew
(23:17):
I needed for a time of a healing, you know.
And then I see the end product and all the
healing that it's brought so many others. You know, I
always say this, I really have chose not to care
how many people hear my songs. I care that the
right people hear my songs.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
So as an Alzheimer's celebrity champion, why I know, because
of your mother, But why does it get more and
more important for you to share your story.
Speaker 4 (23:44):
That's not my story anymore? You know. It started with
my story my mother and the loss of her life.
I think it was so real to me and so
devastating to me, and God put me in a really
important position. But now it's not my story, it's everyone
else's story. I'm the last guy to leave every venue
that I play, and I have strangers lay their heads
on my shoulders and cry and you know, tell me
(24:05):
what they've had to experience and go through. And they
used to feel like a heavy burden, like a weight
on me to have to be this person, to play
this role. But now I take a lot of pride
in it, you know, and it is translated into like,
I need to also create an experience for these people
that are going through so much, you know, sadness. So,
you know, a majority of my show, I have a
(24:27):
five piece band. We're all covered in tattoos. We're really fun,
lighthearted guys. We play a lot of fun, up tempo
songs and covers that everyone knows, and we rock and roll,
you know. And so a big part of what, you know,
I feel called to do is to make sure that
people have an experience. And so people come to my
show and they will be laughing and drinking beers and
(24:47):
partying and join themselves and then we give them a
moment of healing and I take them to church at
the end of the show. You know. And so for me,
it's it's the people that you know, I look out
into a crowd and I see people that are dev
stated going through the hardest thing though ever have to
go through in their life, with a smile on their face,
you know. And I can give them that, and I
can let them cry, not tears of sadness, but tears
(25:09):
of joy, you know. So that's what motivates me. And
the crowds are now starting to grow and more and
more people are starting to sing along with me and
sing the words. And I see my hard work pain off,
and I see my purpose evolving even more, and I'm
just I'm driven by everyone else's stories.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
What would you if you had one pearl of wisdom
to share with caregivers on their journey, what would you tell.
Speaker 4 (25:34):
Them, you absolutely have to take one day at a time.
It's okay to it's okay to be heartbroken. I think
a lot of us who have been caregivers or been
in this body against Alzheimer's had to, you know, stand
up for the ones that we love that aren't strong
enough for themselves. We feel the need to put a
(25:55):
smile on our face when we're not happy, when we're struggling,
and the days where you just don't have the strength,
it's okay. We have to take care of ourselves in
order to take care of the ones. So I know
I still struggle with this. Take those moments, you know,
find your sleep, your getaways, invest in yourself and your
(26:18):
loved ones, your partners, laugh, you know, go have a
beer or a cocktail or a glass of wine, whatever
you have to do to take care of yourself. And
then man, just the moments that you have with them,
soak them in. You know. Again, one of my biggest
regrets is I didn't just stop everything and just be
with her and hold her hands. You know, other people
(26:41):
in my family got to do that and I didn't.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
So well, thank you so much. I know the listeners
will appreciate this conversation today and all the wisdom you
shared and your memories with your mom share and how
you really honor her in your life by what you're doing.
And music is the universe language. I appreciate your time
and also being a celebrity champion for the Alzheimer's Association
(27:05):
and what awareness you have brought about in advocacy. There's
no price on that, and you continue to do that
and with your busy, busy schedule to be that philanthropist
for the Alzheimer's Association. So it's really appreciated. I appreciate it.
So until next time, my phrase is the more you know,
the better to go when you're caring for those you
(27:25):
love with Alzheimer's or dementia. And if you have any
questions or comments, visit me at the memory Whisper dot com.
Thank you so much today for being with us.
Speaker 4 (27:33):
Thank you you're a beautiful soul. God bless godless.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
Well that's it for us today, Thank you for listening.
The Memory Whisper is a production of iHeartRadio and the
Seneca Women Podcast Network. It's produced by Me, Dana Tiredo,
and honor of Peggy and all those affected by Alzheimer's disease.
I offer a special thanks to my audio editor Blakeney,
and to Michael Andrews, a person with dementia, who gave
(28:04):
me permission to use his beautiful flute music for this podcast.
For more information or to reach me directly, head on
over to my website, the memory Whisper dot com. And
for those struggling with a diagnosis, remember my motto, the
more you know, the better it'll go.
Speaker 3 (28:21):
Blessings,
It started with Peggy, someone with Alzheimer's who never knew
my name and who I companion at her nursing home
residence for twenty two years.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Her influence in.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
My life and the values I received from growing up
with grandparents living in our home are the guiding forces
and my love and advocacy for the Alzheimer's population. I
am a newspaper columnist for The Advocate in Baton Rouge, Louisiana,
and the author of What My Grandchildren Taught Me About
Alzheimer's Disease. And now I'm launching a podcast. Hi, you're
(00:39):
listening to Dana Tito the Memory Whisper. Join me in
these podcasts as we engage in thoughtful conversations about Alzheimer's
disease and other dementias.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
Today, I welcome country music singer Jay Allen. He was
one of the top contestants on The Voice season twenty
x two and grew up near Cedar Falls, Iowa. He
was influenced by the music he heard from both his
father at rock concert and his mother, who would sing
country tunes on long car rides. Jay attributes his love
for country music to his mother and what ultimately led
(01:16):
him to move to Nashville in twenty thirteen. His twenty
eighteen hit Blank Stares is a powerful tribute to his mother,
who suffered from early onset Alzheimer's. It went viral and
helped raise awareness for the Alzheimer's Association, reaching over five
hundred billion views on Facebook, and its showcased Jay's raw
(01:37):
talent and his dedication as an Alzheimer's celebrity champion. As
a result of his advocacy efforts, Jay has received numerous accolades,
including the Caregiver Award from the National Alzheimer's Association. He
also was named Favorite Competition Contestant at the twenty twenty
two Country Now Awards and was featured in the Music
(01:58):
Madhem magazine to twenty three artists to watch. I'm so
happy to welcome Jay Allen.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
So tell us a little bit about yourself and how's
life in Nashville?
Speaker 4 (02:11):
Now, Well, I'm really in Nashville anymore because I've been
touring so much. Life was good, though, you know. I
got married last year to Miss Kylie Morgan and kind
of been off to the races since the voice happened.
I really never thought I would be the guy to
go on that show the Voice, and I'm so glad
that I did because they they let me sing this
(02:31):
song that I wrote for my mother blank stairs, and
they told the story so beautifully. And so you know,
at that point we had helped raise one hundred million
dollars to audience Alzheimer's. But since then it's created even
more up to me, so I think we've already surpassed
another million bucks raised since being on the Voice. So yeah,
and then I just got to announce that I signed
(02:52):
a record deal. SOT. A lot of good has happened
in a very short period of time. I'm trying my
best to keep up and make good choices.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Your life is it a tailspin now?
Speaker 4 (03:03):
H Yeah, in a good way, in a good way.
Learning to find balance and take care of myself as well.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
So your mother's name was Sherry. When did you first
start noticing kind of some deficits with her?
Speaker 4 (03:17):
Yeah? So you know, looking back now, we actually saw
signs of dementia I would say in her forties, but
we were so uneducated to the matter that we didn't
recognize it until it was too late. What happened was
I got a phone call from my dad, we call
him Pops, and I've been in Nashville for a couple
of years already. He called me and said, I just
(03:37):
feel I'll get to let you know what happened this
morning with your mother. She called and she'd gone to
the same place at work for years and years and years,
which she had pulled over on the side of the
road and she was crying. She said, I don't know
where I am, I don't know where I'm going. Please
come pick me up. And she was diagnosed with what's
called early onset all Summer's when she was fifty one.
They called early onset because she was.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
So young before the age of sixty five. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (04:02):
Yeah, Now I've heard stories of even you know, thirty five,
thirty six, you know. So it's kind of a myth
that it affects only the elderly. It's so not true.
And in our case, mom was fifty fifty one, you know,
so it took her life in two years and nine months.
You know, what was she like?
Speaker 2 (04:20):
I mean, tell me a little bit about share. What
did she do and what did she love?
Speaker 4 (04:24):
My mother was so selfless, and she was shy. She
did not want any attention on herself. I asked her,
a really heavy question when I was a younger kid
and I said, hey, Mama, why do you think God
put you on planet Earth? What do you think your purpose?
Was kind of a jerk thing to ask them other.
She didn't even flinch, and she just said, Jay got
(04:45):
to put me here to be your mother. That's all
she wanted to be her. Her brothers and sisters, and
my grandma for she passed, would tell stories and my
mom would always be carrying around baby dolls. She always
just knew that she wanted to be a mama, you know,
So that's how she raised me. I was the center
of for a world, and I was a kazi little kid,
but I also loved, you know, even when we didn't
(05:07):
have a lot of attention. Yeah, I was the oldest
and the only son, so you know, we didn't have
a lot growing up, Like a lot of people didn't
have a lot, but for us it was Mom and
dad had to work really, really hard, and they were
gone a lot, even if I wanted that, you know,
stupid PlayStation ers whatever, to keep up with the jones
as she would take that extra shift. She you know,
(05:30):
she would even take a second job just to make
sure that we had the gifts that we wanted for
Christmas or our birthday, just to make sure that we
felt like we were loved and at least equals to
our peers. And so I never lacked with that. She loved,
you know, simple things in life like you know, going
to her church group, scrap booking, she loved cheering us
(05:51):
on at our sporting events. You know, she loved just
being with her family and being home. She didn't need
a lot, you know. I was raised by that, just
the most kind human being. So uh, yeah, I try to.
I try to. I try to take that and all
that she instilled in me and you know, exemplified as
much as I can in my life.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
So what was your first reaction to her diagnosis and
how did you cope with it? Uh?
Speaker 4 (06:17):
You know, so there's stages that we all go through. Uh.
For me, it didn't really hit me until I actually
saw her physically in person. So my dad made the
ten and a half hour drive from a small town,
Iowa where I grew up to Nashville, where you know,
I've been living now for ten years. And I knew
she was sick. He had explained it to me, but
(06:39):
I hadn't seen it with my own eyes until I
opened up the door of my home and she walked in.
Just I was a stranger to her, Like I said,
you know, she raised me like I was the center
of not only her universe, but the universe. I felt
that one thousand that day. She didn't know who it
was and looked straight through me, and it definitely broke
(07:00):
something inside of me in a way where you know,
we have two options in life and tough moments, it's
fight or flight, and I always choose fight. I always
go to war. In that moment, it was just like
an out of body experience. I don't know how to
explain it, where you know, you're looking at the situation
and you think that can't be me, that can't be us.
So I told my dad, I said, we got to
(07:21):
get out of here, and I don't know how to
handle this moment. So we went to a well known
venue here in Nashville called the Suttler and walked in.
And that's really what my world changed, when you know,
when I went from being heartbroken to inspired, when I
saw how music can truly affect people. And so, you know,
people that have dementia and Alzheimer's, a lot of a
(07:42):
lot of the time, they have a blank look in
their eyes, they have a glossy look. They're not really present,
They're overwhelmed. But we opened up the door of that
venue and there was a band on stage and there
was music playing, and that all went away and my
mother came back almost instantaneously. Uh pulled her to the
front of the venue, right from the stage and we
(08:04):
started slow dancing to a fast song. And I just
felt mom and take a deep breath and she just
leaned and she just said, Oh, okay, I've missed you, son,
I love you. It's so good to be here. I
had my mother back for an instant because of music,
you know. And suddenly it was oh my gosh, like
there is a there may be a solution to this,
you know. Uh, here comes the fixer side of me now.
(08:26):
So Uh I wrote a song. It was a sad moment,
but it was a positive thought. And the idea was,
I still see you, I still see you. You're in there,
I see you in between the blank stairs. So that's
where the song came from.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
And that was before blank stairs.
Speaker 4 (08:42):
That was Blake Stairs. That's how Blake Stairs come came through.
And so Uh, I would do everything in my power
while they're here in Nashville to come visit us and
and just to get to have those moments with her,
to have my mother back. But really the only thing
that ever truly did it was music, sitting down and
playing her songs. You know. So I wrote that song
my music row with a good buddy of mine, and
(09:05):
I can't I can tell you, you know, I've learned the
hard way, and I'm sure you have too. You can
only plan so much. You can plan your life and
work towards your goals so much. Sometimes things are just
meant to be. Sometimes things just happened. Because you know,
that's where my faith comes in, where I truly believe that,
you know, there's a guy that has a plan for
us and a purpose for us, because I could not
(09:25):
have planned what happened. Next, I wrote that song and
I had a heartache at a heartbreak and a therapy
out of trying to help my mother. I didn't really
know what it was. It just came out of me.
It felt like it just a gift was given to me,
and just some very important people heard that song very quickly,
and you know, I made a promise, you know it
was the head of Sony Nashville at the time. He said, Yeah,
(09:48):
I'm listening to your song and ball in my eyes
out because I took care of my dad. He had
Alzheimer's and passed away. He was his caregiver for the
last five years of his life, and so I know
exactly what this song is about. He said, just make
me a promise. I'm going to get this song out
to some important people and spread the word about this.
We're gonna do some great things with this song. Just
make me a promise that we're going to give away
(10:08):
every dime that we make from it back towards this cause.
I said, yes, sir, And that's exactly what happened. Before
I knew it, it was getting played on radio stations on
serious exem The National Alzheimer's Association was calling me. They're
inviting me to play all their galas and fundraisers and events,
and it really turned into a spiderweb effect. You know.
Before I knew I raised my head, and like I said,
(10:30):
we raised all this money and brought all this attention
to a disease that's really hard to talk about that
you know, has a lot of misconceptions about it. You know,
and we've brought a lot of light to it, which
I'm very very proud of. And you know, now we're
starting to make some headway, which is really really cool
to see for me to do with that, Yeah, you know,
(10:54):
it's it's it's cool to look back now. And you know,
I used to be sad for a long time. It
took me a long time to You always grieve people
that you lose, but there comes a point I believe
where you're where you're like, you choose to be okay,
you know. For me, I chose to believe. For me,
I chose to believe that my mother is in heaven
and she's much better than me, but she's still watching
(11:15):
over me and guiding me. And the loss of her
life gave my life purpose and now to me, it's
more of a beautiful thing than a sad thing, you know.
So it's cool now to kind of sit back and
you know, I get to have conversations like this and
realize that, you know, all the prayers and all the
hard work starting to pay off.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
So what would you say were your greatest challenges with
your mom?
Speaker 4 (11:45):
I think for me, it's like my biggest regret is
even though I'm you can't have any regrets. You can't
turn back time. But one of my greats regrets for
a long time was I, instead of spending time with
her and physically with her, I took it upon myself
to go out on the road and take every interview
(12:05):
and become a warrior against this thing. And I missed
a lot of moments with her, and so the moments
that I did have were space depart and so every
time I saw her, you could definitely tell the decline
and how quickly it was taking her. We went from okay,
mom sick to okay, mom's really sick, to Okay, we're
(12:26):
scrambling to figure this out, to oh my gosh, like
we have to we need help, we need money, we
need to put her in a care facility center. And
then it's like, oh, now she's she's entered that phase
where we're all not looking forward to, you know, the
angry coming out, which did eventually. She was not an
angry person, she was the opposite. So to see that
(12:46):
come out and her was that just absolutely crushed me,
you know, to see her lash out and be physical.
And then the very end, you know, like I said,
I was on the road. So my last phone call,
I was on the road of my band, and my
sister called me and said, this is going to be
the last time. You know, I had to physically, I
(13:07):
had to figure out how to fund it myself. My
father and my family unfortunately were not prepared financially. So
I'm the one that had to take the brunt of
it and pay for the care facility center. She lasted
six six weeks in that facility center. She I think
once we got her in there, she kind of threw
in the towel and she lost the ability to swallow,
(13:28):
which is very common, so she couldn't. Even feeding her
through tubes was not working, so she it just it
happened so abruptly at that point, so I knew it
was coming. Uh, but time, you know, time happened quickly
for me. And so little sister called me and said, uh,
(13:51):
it's given me last time. We're going to talk to mom.
So the band, she was on speakerphone. So the band
immediately pulled over the vehicle over our tour vand and
we got you know, we're somewhere between North Carolina and Savannah, Georgia,
and I had to play a show that night, Savannah, Georgia.
So the band put their arms around me and me cried,
and I had that last conversation with Mom, and that
was that will go down as the hardest moment of
(14:12):
my life. Uh so, the longest goodbye. Man, it's you
can we can say that till we're blue in the
in the face and try to explain that to other people.
You just can't wrap your head around it until you
experience it, you know. And that's what it is.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
The challenge is what blessings did you find?
Speaker 4 (14:32):
Oh? Uh? You learned hold on to the happy moments?
Uh you know, uh, you know, first the moment when
I realized the power of music that instilled in me,
like gosh, dang, that's why, that's why God gave me
the gift of music, you know. And I feel like
there's a strength inside of me that you know sometimes
that I don't even know how how I find it,
(14:54):
but I find it. He put that there so I
could utilize that gift to take that sad thing that
happened to us with Mom and turning and something beautiful.
And so I started holding onto the happy moments, like
you know, realizing that you know, music helps her. Oh,
music helps. Everyone has the metro.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
And then a universal language with people with alzheimer.
Speaker 4 (15:19):
Something is the universal language. So you know, that was
the first blessing, and then you know, having her on
stage with us, that was a that was a conflicting
decision to make. Uh it hit me like a brick
wall again on the road. I was like, man, we
always tell this story and I always sing this song
on every show. Sometimes I just didn't feel like it
(15:42):
was hitting people or impacting people as much as I
wanted it to. So I thought, you know what we
can We can only teach so people so much with
our words blue in the face. What better way to
teach people then to show them, you know. So I
had this vision to bring Mom on stage. She was
very sick at that point. So I called Dad and
(16:02):
I explained to him my thought process, and I said,
you can say no if you think it's not a
good idea, or you know, taking advantage of her, Like
I don't want to. I don't want to come off
that way at all. I wanted to be a beautiful moment.
I said, I'm gonna have you side stage at this show.
We're going to be in front of a couple thousand people.
I said, when we get to this point in the set,
right before I tell the story and sing a song,
(16:23):
I'm going to look at you, you give me the nod.
And so I looked at him, he gave me the
nod and she was all smiles. So I brought her out,
and uh what happened next? I mean, we're playing in
front of a crowd opening up for Jaco w In,
a well known country artist, and a couple thousand people
that were there to party shut up and they listened
and they saw it with their own eyes, and I
(16:44):
just said, hey, y'all, not to be a downer, but
this is my mom that's really sick. She has what's
called early on said all songers. I want to tell
her story and I want to sing the song I
wrote for her, and uh so it took a video,
and uh that's when I saw the power of social media.
So now we have the power of music. That was
the power of social media and for me, so it's
a media is community. You know, it's a place where
(17:05):
you can do a lot of bad there, but also
you can do a lot of good.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
I love the way you start out. Blank stares with
her voice such a beautiful preamble to the song.
Speaker 4 (17:15):
Yeah, and she my dad had walked her to coached
her through calling me on my birthday, and I had
missed it, but I kept the voicemail, and then I realized, Wow,
she really truly. That's another moment it hit me like,
this is real, this is happening to us, you know,
to hear her fumble through her words and forget even
what she was saying or who she was calling, and
(17:37):
why she even had the phone in her hand. So
I kept that voicemail just and I listened to it
every now and then periodically, just remind myself that this
was really happening, and it really kept a fire in
my belly. So we wanted to put it on the
front end of that song because it makes it even
more real.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
She died into the nineteen right, you said, I was
reading that it led to a strengthening of relationships, like
with your siblings and with your wife.
Speaker 4 (18:09):
How so, Yes, So I always believed family was important.
I have two little sisters, blond hair, blue eyes, and
my dad and I worked very close until mom got sick,
and so, you know, long stories work something that happened
in our family, and I kind of had held it
against my dad. He hadn't spoken for two years, and
(18:32):
then Mom got sick, and so I just decided, you
know what, I only get one dad, you know, despite
our differences. So I called him and I said, here's
the deal. Mom's sick. We know she's not going to
live very long. So how about you make me a promise.
If you take care of her and love her till
the very end, you and I are good and will
(18:53):
always be good. You couldn't do no wrong. He kept
his promise, and he loved her and took care of
her in such as selfless and beautiful way for those
two years and nine months. Him and I are always good,
you know. Uh, he's in the front row and every
show that every time I come close to Iowa or
the Midwest, he's there in the front row, fist bumping,
and it's all of you know, my little sisters. Like
(19:15):
you know, we all get busy and get overwhelmed. But
I just find the time, you know, we find the
time to talk. Every time I'm in the car, I
call my little sisters and we've never been closer, you know.
And and then now I have a nephew, you know,
he's a year and a half and so he's filled
a big void in our lives too. Lost Mama, but
we gained Banayah.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
You know.
Speaker 4 (19:36):
So family is really everything, you know, even even family
that's not blood. You know, the people that God put
in your life and put in your circle, just I've
just learned to invest in them and take the time.
That's why I'm sick today because I had two and
a half days that I could have taken off just
to relax and be, you know, have some alone time.
(19:59):
But instead, you know, Kylie was like, I would really
love for you to come out to Oklahoma and be
with family and friends. We all kind of had a
couple of days despair. So it was honestly the last
thing that I wanted to do. But I'm so glad
that I did it because you can't get that time back,
you know, and now that will last for an eternity
from the last two days. So I've just realized the
(20:20):
importance of family and friends through the loss, and so
another accounted for a giant blessing because of my mama,
you know.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
So you filmed that video No prayer like Mama's in
the Fred Sims Chapel in Cleveland, South Carolina, which was
I think a big task for your for your crew
and company to get out there. What I read, it's
on the side of a mountain. That's really beautiful, you said,
But you also said it was very carthotic for you
when you did that song, and it was like a release.
(20:49):
Was that after your mother had died?
Speaker 4 (20:52):
Yes, from the very beginning, So I can't remember where
I was, but the music video directors are really good
friends of mine, and we were scouting a location and
so I was I can't remember where I was, like
in Michigan or something, and they were sending me videos
and photos of different locations. And we originally thought no,
(21:14):
to make a music video, it's very expensive. So now
that I have a label deal, I have a budget,
but it's not crazy. So we're trying to stay in
the budget. And so we're thinking, let's find a cool chapel,
you know, a beautiful church or something in Tennessee, close
to Nashville. And they said, actually, man, long shot, but
we found this. We found this chapel in North Carolina.
(21:34):
Sent me the picture with the you know, and they
sent me the videos that it all go viral on
social media. And I just I saw one look and
I just knew, like we have, it has to be there,
and so I said, if y'all can find a way.
So they called the event coordinator there that books the
space and called back and they said, well, just renting
(21:54):
the space for the time that we need it is
going to wipe off your entire budget. That doesn't cover
the cost of all the work involved, the extras. We
have to hire your time and your travel. I was like, well,
that's not going to work. And Tessa, the main music
video director, she goes, you know what, Jay, It's laid
upon my heart and I feel like we got to
(22:15):
make this happen no matter what. She goes, let me
call him back one more time. So she called me
back literally twenty minutes later. She said, you'll never believe this.
God just provided I told them your entire story, sent
them all the links to your music, updated them, are
really what you stand for and what you've done and
what happened to your mother, sent them this song, no
(22:36):
prayer like Mama's. And their response was, we've never done
a music video here, we never will again except for
this one. So call and tell Jay we're offering it
to him for free of charge, so that that is
the only way we got yeah, and then you know,
it wasn't easy to get there. But then when we
(22:57):
got there, call time was like five in the morning.
So as I'm walking in, I'm watching the sun rise
and it is really a chapel built into the side
of a mountain, and you're overlooking like it has to
be at least twenty miles of mountains, and then the
sun rising through these mountains, and I was just like,
this is the moment that I needed, that God knew
(23:17):
I needed for a time of a healing, you know.
And then I see the end product and all the
healing that it's brought so many others. You know, I
always say this, I really have chose not to care
how many people hear my songs. I care that the
right people hear my songs.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
So as an Alzheimer's celebrity champion, why I know, because
of your mother, But why does it get more and
more important for you to share your story.
Speaker 4 (23:44):
That's not my story anymore? You know. It started with
my story my mother and the loss of her life.
I think it was so real to me and so
devastating to me, and God put me in a really
important position. But now it's not my story, it's everyone
else's story. I'm the last guy to leave every venue
that I play, and I have strangers lay their heads
on my shoulders and cry and you know, tell me
(24:05):
what they've had to experience and go through. And they
used to feel like a heavy burden, like a weight
on me to have to be this person, to play
this role. But now I take a lot of pride
in it, you know, and it is translated into like,
I need to also create an experience for these people
that are going through so much, you know, sadness. So,
you know, a majority of my show, I have a
(24:27):
five piece band. We're all covered in tattoos. We're really fun,
lighthearted guys. We play a lot of fun, up tempo
songs and covers that everyone knows, and we rock and roll,
you know. And so a big part of what, you know,
I feel called to do is to make sure that
people have an experience. And so people come to my
show and they will be laughing and drinking beers and
(24:47):
partying and join themselves and then we give them a
moment of healing and I take them to church at
the end of the show. You know. And so for me,
it's it's the people that you know, I look out
into a crowd and I see people that are dev
stated going through the hardest thing though ever have to
go through in their life, with a smile on their face,
you know. And I can give them that, and I
can let them cry, not tears of sadness, but tears
(25:09):
of joy, you know. So that's what motivates me. And
the crowds are now starting to grow and more and
more people are starting to sing along with me and
sing the words. And I see my hard work pain off,
and I see my purpose evolving even more, and I'm
just I'm driven by everyone else's stories.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
What would you if you had one pearl of wisdom
to share with caregivers on their journey, what would you tell.
Speaker 4 (25:34):
Them, you absolutely have to take one day at a time.
It's okay to it's okay to be heartbroken. I think
a lot of us who have been caregivers or been
in this body against Alzheimer's had to, you know, stand
up for the ones that we love that aren't strong
enough for themselves. We feel the need to put a
(25:55):
smile on our face when we're not happy, when we're struggling,
and the days where you just don't have the strength,
it's okay. We have to take care of ourselves in
order to take care of the ones. So I know
I still struggle with this. Take those moments, you know,
find your sleep, your getaways, invest in yourself and your
(26:18):
loved ones, your partners, laugh, you know, go have a
beer or a cocktail or a glass of wine, whatever
you have to do to take care of yourself. And
then man, just the moments that you have with them,
soak them in. You know. Again, one of my biggest
regrets is I didn't just stop everything and just be
with her and hold her hands. You know, other people
(26:41):
in my family got to do that and I didn't.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
So well, thank you so much. I know the listeners
will appreciate this conversation today and all the wisdom you
shared and your memories with your mom share and how
you really honor her in your life by what you're doing.
And music is the universe language. I appreciate your time
and also being a celebrity champion for the Alzheimer's Association
(27:05):
and what awareness you have brought about in advocacy. There's
no price on that, and you continue to do that
and with your busy, busy schedule to be that philanthropist
for the Alzheimer's Association. So it's really appreciated. I appreciate it.
So until next time, my phrase is the more you know,
the better to go when you're caring for those you
(27:25):
love with Alzheimer's or dementia. And if you have any
questions or comments, visit me at the memory Whisper dot com.
Thank you so much today for being with us.
Speaker 4 (27:33):
Thank you you're a beautiful soul. God bless godless.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
Well that's it for us today, Thank you for listening.
The Memory Whisper is a production of iHeartRadio and the
Seneca Women Podcast Network. It's produced by Me, Dana Tiredo,
and honor of Peggy and all those affected by Alzheimer's disease.
I offer a special thanks to my audio editor Blakeney,
and to Michael Andrews, a person with dementia, who gave
(28:04):
me permission to use his beautiful flute music for this podcast.
For more information or to reach me directly, head on
over to my website, the memory Whisper dot com. And
for those struggling with a diagnosis, remember my motto, the
more you know, the better it'll go.
Speaker 3 (28:21):
Blessings,
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