August 6, 2024 • 53 mins
Hey, Loftmates! This is the episode where the roommates fight over the one parking spot they share. What a nightmare. They're not the only one's living a scary dream. Hannah's car once had a roommate. All the boys on New Girl had to wear modesty patches, which is news to Hannah. And what Jake learned about using a phone on set. Plus, a condom testimonial from Lamorne.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
So babe, Yeah, babe, we're talking about a parking spot today.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
It's the bane of my existence in La.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
Really, you can't find parking spaces, yeah, for it.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Is so hard to find parking in La.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
Yeah for you a Rolls Royce. Yeah, it's a big car.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Wish, that's a big car.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
I always it's the craziest thing in this city that
it causes stress and you have to like bank in time.
You're like, oh, dinners at eight thirty, Well, we have
to get there like a half an hour early to
like circle.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
Yeah, and there's no valet Uber. That's why Uber is
such an important That's why I'm mad. I never invested
in it. It was never even brought to my attention,
you know.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
I know I'm mad about it too. I know a
lot of people that did invest in it. I know
they are living large.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
They're like, man, I gave them ten thousand dollars. Yeah, well,
what would it turned into eighty billion? You're rich?
Speaker 2 (00:51):
That's right. I'm telling you that was crazy.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
I know some early investors and I'm like, low key,
it's a really funny thing. How that kind of like
lands in your brain because you know, like, why do
you tell me like they could see into the future,
like they're investing in front of a bunch of other
crazy stuff too that turned into.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Nothing exactly, And so they every once in a while
they hit it.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
We play the numbers.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
Oh boy, we love money.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
I mean, that's not everybody here.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
But when I rewatched the episode Parking Spot, part of
my brain was like, is this just like very like
la centric like this particular episode, because I felt the
stress of it if there was one parking spot amongst
all my roommates. But I'm like, does this translate to
anywhere else in the world that level of like I
(02:05):
need it?
Speaker 3 (02:05):
It does, because I can tell you I'm currently I
just sold my house in Chicago and I'm looking for
I'm looking for a smaller place in the city city,
an actual like heart of like in the West Sloop area.
I'm looking for a place. And I found this place
that I really liked. Problem was and it's a decent
sized place, you know what I mean. It's two floors,
got a great rooftop, digg It's an awesome place, four bedrooms,
(02:28):
one parking space. It has a garage, but it only
fits one car. And I sat there and I stared
a hole through his realtorre and I said, man, four bedrooms.
That means it's probably at least multiple adults living in here.
Sure where am I supposed to park? And it's like, oh, well,
some of these other houses right here they rent out
their garages. Sure, so I'm gonna go park my car
(02:51):
in somebody else's garage.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Insane?
Speaker 3 (02:53):
In what world am I doing that?
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (02:55):
People are strange. Next thing, you know, you got people
doing all kinds of odd things on top of your car. Sure,
which is in this episode? There's a moment where Yes
just comes back and she sees outside day of sleeping
on her car.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Okay, breaking down the episodes so we can get into it, ma'am. Okay,
because he's already feeling heated. I'm mad about this, sad
about it too. After Schmid discovers that the loft comes
with a parking.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
Spot and all out war between the loft mates and
sues for who gets in, manipulation used hoodie strip teases
and a no nail oath or just some of the
tricks that are used. Meanwhile, Winston, who is all but
ready to do sex things with Daisy, is sent on
a side quest all over town to find the condom.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
The condom.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
First of all, I would just like to say something
that we used to say this all the time on
New Girl, Dumbest Boy Alive. Dumbat Boy Alive is something
we said all the time, Schmidt dumbast boy Alive for
telling anybody about the parking spot. But she realizes very
quickly at the top of this episode.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
What you're doing.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Yeah, why would you do that?
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Why?
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Yeah, it's so stupid, stupid, But he's honest.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Well, it's that thing.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
What is It's easier to ask for forgiveness than to
ask for permission. Yeah, I feel like he missed that.
He did that Maya Angelou chapter of Life.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
He did. But also, this is silly. We've discussed this
before in the past. How big and expensive this lawful?
You mean to tell me these ignorant ass people didn't say, hey,
do we have a parking space?
Speaker 2 (04:26):
No, they didn't. Now you watched the show.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
No, these characters that were not sitting there and ask.
It does feel like something Schmidt would ask, and Schmidt
would No. I would not think that Nick or jess
or Winston, with how wild you are in the first
few seasons, are asking these questions. I would also say
that most apartment buildings I do go, they go street parking.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
It's a street parking and street parking.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
What do you mean most apartment buildings? How do you
haven't lived in an apartment in decades?
Speaker 2 (04:51):
I have.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
I've only lived in apartments and it was street parking
or like some weird creepy I live in an apartment
building where it was like a shed behind the house
and an alley at to park in, and it was
the creepiest walk of my life from the shed that
I had to park in to my apartment door.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
I took my life in my hands every single time.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
I felt like I've never been in an apartment where
they didn't have.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
You've been to that apartment that I'm talking about when
I lived on Sweet Yeah, yeah, and there was a
shed in the back through the courtyard.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
However, parking spot and on the list.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
It was a.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
Huge battle that was actually in that little like Melrose
Play style complex because everybody else there was like four
little sheds in the alley and it was two.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Cars per shed.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
But my apartment just happened to be solo, which you
would think, oh, that's amazing because you don't have to
worry about somebody coming in and dinging your car or something.
Because these sheds were super tiny, super tight, like we
see at the end of this episode. It was exactly
like that, except for as a girl that was living alone.
Every time that shed opened, it was also slash a
(06:01):
spot for someone who was unhoused.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
Ye to live. Well, look at least we got we
got a roommate.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
A car had a roommate.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
Sometimes somebody gotta keep it, somebody gotta protect it.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
And it wasn't so bad coming into park because then
you could like it would open, someone would run out.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
It was actually more stressful, hold on, hold on, It.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Was more hold on what I'm trying to say, so
fast for people would sleep in there.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
You would open your shed that people would run out.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
One person would run out who was sleeping there? And look,
you know, we had a deal. It was fine. I
didn't mind.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
It was much more creepy though on New Girl when
I was shooting and it was like a four am
call time and now I have to go in the
ship to get my car. That's worse.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
It was better to come home when the shed door
opens and I'm like, I gotta park here and he's like, okay, piece,
I'm out, and then but me trying to like open
the door to get in my car and be like, I.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
Don't die to making mistakes downtown.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
What are we gonna? This is why I'm saying, I
understand I felt the stress.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
When I was watching this episode. I was like, man,
a parking spot and a secured location. I would be
sitting there peeing myself too.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
All right, folks, let's go to break and when we
come back, we're going to talk more about this episode.
And we are back.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Top of the episode. Top of the episode does not
start with the parking spot.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
It doesn't start the parking spot. But really quick, I
just want to say. Directed by Fred Goss and written
by Rebecca Edelman.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Love Rebecca Adelman, huge fan, love fred Fred direct.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
He is very silly.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
He's also an actor, That's why.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Yeah, he gets it. He loved being on set shooting
the show. We love having him.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
Did we ever have him in the any episodes?
Speaker 2 (07:47):
No? I don't think so, which is so strange.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
He's so funny. Yeah, okay, let's dive right in.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Dive right in.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
So it starts off with Nick and Jess brushing their
teeth side by side.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
And it's not weird? Is that a whole point?
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Here's the thing if you've like broken the seal like
as friends, like you've kissed, you've made out, you're grown.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
Yeah, is there always just gonna be like that? You know?
Like that what's that thing? Like the elephant in the room?
Speaker 3 (08:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (08:22):
Whatever, right until you like, so you just go for it?
Speaker 3 (08:25):
Do you either go for it or establish it like
aggressively that this is not this, ain't this ain't it?
Speaker 1 (08:31):
But it's always gonna be a little weird. They're just
sitting there and then he makes a joke about like
we just.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Just have THX.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Yeah, like he says it, yeah, big foreshadowing because it
ends up they can't handle it, right.
Speaker 3 (08:42):
I think ultimately he knows they both do. They both
know they want to be each other, but Nick obviously
can't express himself and he can't say what he wants,
so he's he beats around the bush a lot, and
she's just an awkward thirteen year old.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
That's less. Yeah, it's very less.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
Very very you know like me, I used to I
used to live with three women. I think we talked
about this right before I booked knew girl. I lived
in this townhouse. It was me and three women. Fucked
them all you did? It was funny to say in
the moment, I did not. I did not.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
I did not tell the truth, just like Schmid with
a parking spot.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
Was I was.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
No one was interested.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
Yeah, I was messing around with one of them. And
she's a lovely young lady. We used to be. But
the thing is we dated prior. We had a whole
new girl situation going on her and I had dated pride.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Did it make it weird for everyone else?
Speaker 3 (09:36):
No, not at all. It did when we were arguing
wh it did?
Speaker 1 (09:42):
I sat in there with like an old married couple
and it was supposed to be just like four friends.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
But it was weird because it was weird because I
was the only man in there. You know girl code.
They always stuck together, so no one ever had my back.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
You may have told me that you were the dumbest
boy alive.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
I'd be like, man, can you believe this? Ship? Can
you believe she said this? They'd be like, yeah, we
believe that she said it. Yes we can't.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Yeah, yeah, you're an idiot who.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
Got my back in here? Why so I moved out. Yeah, seriously,
he loves like PCO. I booked New Girl and I
was like.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
What happened before I was in your life to be
like zip it up.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
I don't know where that came from. The Dumbest Boy Live,
Oh my.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Gosh, the origin of the Dumbest Boy Alive. I genuinely
don't know, but we would just say it on set
all the time, Domas.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
We would say, dumbest poy in school, demist point school,
dumbest point in school, and we would just say it.
I don't remember who's.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
I don't know if there's an origin story. It just
was said.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
There's a lot of inside jokes that were on our
show that I don't remember the origin for it.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
Until Damon came along. The Damon Kid started a.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
Lot of all your stuff. I think that was a
Max thing.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
I think that's why you're the Dumbest Boil Live Dumis.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
Boil in School Like he would say that, he would yell.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
It, yeah, and then it just became part of the show. Yeah,
but it was said off camera.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
Yeah a lot, oh a lot, oh, because we meant it. Yeah.
Mainly when talking about Jake is mainly that's true. He
couldn't operate a coffee machine once that was labeled yeah,
meaning it had in a white piece of paper latte,
white piece of paper espressed a white people's coffee, and
then a glowing green button next to them. You would
(11:21):
put your cup down and you would, yeah, push the button,
press the button. Jake, one time I walk in there
and he's making himself a coffee and he's like, work
this damn thing. Fucking He's like mumbling to himself. I said, Jake,
just press the buttons. He was like, I am pressing
the button. He's pressing the white label that's clearly a
piece of paper, and he's like pressing get over and
(11:42):
over again.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
There's a line here where he talks about the whiffy
in this episode, and that was definitely pulled from real
life because I'll never forget. We were waiting for a
setup of a scene or something was happening. We were
all standing in the kitchen.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
We're all on our phones, because that's what people do,
where all the casts are on their phones, just doing
our own thing.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
And Jake was just sitting there.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Right and I was like, we were trying to google
something some song lyric. I remember some weird song lyric
and he was talking about it and I was like,
google it and he's like I can't.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
I was like why. He goes, well, my phone doesn't
have whiffy and I was like what. First of all,
how are you pronouncing this word?
Speaker 1 (12:25):
Second of all, I was I remember being like, come here,
Grandma and like took his phone like swipe down, showed
him how to do it, how to connect it. I
was like, he thought that whole however long he'd had
that phone, oh, that it did not connect to.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
The Wi Fi.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
So you know when you have your phone.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
He's like, I didn't pay for it, and I'm like,
you know how it works the phone.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
I didn't get that option. It's like a warranty on it.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
It's like it's data only. I was like, you can
turn oh god. I was like I didn't know what
to do with you.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
Do you know how? So here's your phone? Yeah, And
when you want the screen to go black, either you
have it on like automatic, like it shuts off after
sixty seconds of inactivity, you can put it to it
never shuts off. Whatever the case may be. Jake, when
we'd be filming, right before they call action, he would
take the phone and always put it down like this,
and he would always do that, and one day I
(13:19):
asked him he would do this all the time. It's
going on for like months, and I said, why do
you always set your phone down like this when you
And he's like, so, I don't want the light to
I don't want the light to be flashing up genius.
And he's like telling me about lighting and shain and
I was just letting him talk and I was like, yeah,
you know you so you know you can just turn
it off. He's like, oh, what, I'm gonna go into
(13:40):
my settings and then go down and like shut the
phone off every time I want to have the screen
go to black. I said, Jake, you just press this
button and he was like, what, Yeah, you've never pressed
the button?
Speaker 2 (13:53):
Now your button? No?
Speaker 3 (13:54):
I said, how long have you had this phone? You've
never no pressed the button? Yeah, you fucking idiot.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
I do think that there was something that happened when
all of us came together and that show where really
like it was the combination of all of us that
gave like one solid brain, like teaching people just basic
things that seemed to make sense.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
We were all just like babies when.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
We started the show, and there were certain things that
were just like I just never figure that out.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
But Jake's wore the funniest because they were all about.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
Technology, pretty straightforward.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
So him saying, Whiffy in this you're.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
Right, I just remember that moment of all all of
us sitting there waiting, like waiting for like the scene
to go or something not on this episode a different thing.
And I think there's so much of that New Girl
where they would steal moments from who we were as people.
Oh yeah, and put it in the show because it
was so funny to them and you couldn't make it
up right, and Whiffy is one of them.
Speaker 3 (14:50):
So meanwhile, while Nick and Jess are in the bathroom, yes,
Schmid crashes into the bathroom yeah, and like an idiot,
screams he found the parking spot, so dumbest boil don't
spoil live. Yeah, and then he rips the fall.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
So strong, but again I understand it because of all
of my parking spot trauma.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
I was like, I get it, Yeah, like you have
just found gold. You have found the pot of gold
at the end of the rainbow. It exists, it's there.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
But he rips the towel wreck off the wall. He's
so excited, so strong, and he also used to do crossfits,
so he probably actually rapped that off the wall.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Yeah, he actually was. He was very strong though.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
Now here's the thing. All the loft mates like, what's fair?
They're all fair, just.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Say sharing, which a lot of people in LA do. Yeah,
they split a spot.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
M hmm.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Yeah, just kind of a nice feeling. And the boys
immediately say, no, that's fair.
Speaker 3 (15:38):
But I think I I if I recall, maybe I'm wrong.
Wasn't there a discussion about who was paying the most
in rent? Because I know there's a big dog room
season when we were talking about who gets the big
room the small room, and so I was of the
mindset that, you know, who's paying the most rent gets
the parking spot, you know.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Oh see that they had the opposite that were the
person in the small st room should get the spot.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
Well that must mean they're all paying the same amount.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Yeah, that's right. So they're saying this makes sense.
Speaker 3 (16:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
What I thought was also funny is everybody dries to
play the card lady card, race card.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
Lady drunk card. But he's like, no, it doesn't matter.
We all have a card. We don't get to play
the card.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
That's true, that's true. Just put it out there. I
think Jess should have got the spot, I mean the.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Fast and a parking spot. I was just like, this
makes the most sense. But yeah, the boys didn't think
like that.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
They didn't think that way.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
Makes it very funny.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
And she says obviously, she says, share did anybody else
come up with the suggestion? I know Nick said he's out,
he backed out.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
It was one of my favorite moments because I truly
feel of all the characters, I genuinely relate to the most,
it is Nick Miller, like for myself, and when Schmidt
and Jess like just kind of like stare him down
because he has to plead his case, and then he's like.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
I don't care that much.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
I don't care about anything that much to get as
weird as you all are about to get, and he
just bails and they're like, but then he becomes the decider,
unfortunately for him. But I could relate to that moment
to be like, oh, I don't have a competitive bone
in my body.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
You two are so competitive.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
I'm instantly out because I'll never go the distance with
you too.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
And I wouldn't. I honestly wouldn't meet personally. I wouldn't
give a shit.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Okay, your storyline in this is wild.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
It's not that wild.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
I feel like it's a little wild that you just
go like, I'm out of the conversation. I don't care
about this parking spot. I have a sex windows. The
only thing that matters you race over there once it
races over there without the what think that he would need.
Speaker 3 (17:39):
No, he has the one thing that he needs, his penis.
But because that's why people forget people. People forget condom's new.
Penis is old. It's been a it's it's you know.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
What I mean.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
You went over there with a condom and no penis, then.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
What are you gonna do?
Speaker 1 (17:55):
I'm just saying, hand animal, and you know you ain't
trying to make a baby. The two should go hand
in hand. You should have that condom with you.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
Pull out methods strong, but not that strong, pull out
name aggressive. No, No, you're right, you're one hundred percent right,
But I in my mind, in my mind, I'm in
TV land. Yes, it's rare that we see people break
out a condom.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
That's true.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
They just go for it.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Yes, the Network Comedy especially, they're not sitting there being like.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
And let me tell you exactly.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
It's an after school special.
Speaker 3 (18:29):
It's so weird because because and this is, this is
how I know racism is alive and well in the movies,
when white people be kissing and having sex, yeah they be.
They just go for it. They slam against the wall.
They remember we talked about this violence, They move stuff
out of the way, and then they just go for
it and everything yeah black and Asian. Yeah, and they're like,
(18:50):
make sure you get them condoms. We don't need you
all appropriating. Yeah, I hope that's not what they do.
Girl writers. We try.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
I don't think so.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
No, but but but but but yes, So he had
to go to this place to go do the thing.
And fun fact about that scene, I still have those
underwear that Winston was wearing.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
What underwear the ones that he was wearing, I didn't notice, honestly.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
The only thing I remember you wearing are the Yum
yum or the yum the pink yum pants.
Speaker 3 (19:22):
But the pink yum pants were daisies.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
Yes, I know.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
How did he get them on?
Speaker 1 (19:27):
I just don't want I remember. I see I saw
Brenda and her Bron underwear. It was actually a very
cute matching set. It looked amazing. I don't remember you,
and I don't wasn't looking. Why would you get out
of all the things to keep you kept?
Speaker 3 (19:40):
No, because when you get to work, when you get
to work, they make if you have a scene, you
can't wear your own underwear because they want to make
sure you have to wear all the padding and stuff
underneath patting to protect the audience from seeing you know,
all that all that print, the print of what that
that that aam sad in.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
Which I can't right now with the hand that broad
worst you care special show underwear that's padded to ken
doll you.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
Yes, every time you see someone on TV with underwear on,
majority of the time they make they kend all you
because they don't want the audience to have that visual
of your goodies.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
I genuinely did not know you know no, I mean
I wore my Bron underwar several times a new girl,
and they would just bring in like a cute underwear
from like a store.
Speaker 3 (20:30):
When you wear a bra, do you put pasties on
underneath the bro? You put? You wear pasties? So what
if it's late you just walked around nippled out on
on Fox.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
They just didn't.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
They just had a bra that would not have you nippled.
There's those sexy lingerie like that cash underpants that they
had to pad you out. Why would they just get
you normal male underwear?
Speaker 3 (20:52):
Because then they gonna see all that snake outline?
Speaker 2 (20:56):
How thick is this padding?
Speaker 3 (20:57):
Get that outline? Is what you need to be asking.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
I'm genuinely asking, like, so is it a whole underwear
padded and thick?
Speaker 3 (21:04):
It's like a flesh colored thick kind of like underwear.
But they have a drawstring so you tighten it. And
so if you sorry for the visual, but if you're
like this, they want you to curl it under it's
a tuck. It's a tuck. You gotta take it.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
I mean, so Kendall is like an accurate way to
describe what happens. Then you put underwear on.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Top, then you put underwear on top of that.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
So which one did you steal? The Ken Doll underwear
or just this regular pair of underpants that go on.
Speaker 3 (21:33):
Top then the ones that are go on top. I
wouldn't steal the Ken Doll stuff, which is the.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
Regular underpan don't you just have regular underpants?
Speaker 3 (21:40):
They don't. It's for TV purposes. They don't let you.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
No what I'm saying, why would you steal just a
regular of underwear you're putting on top of your ken
doll underwear?
Speaker 3 (21:47):
Because when I was leaving, they're like, we can't use
these anyway, So just I just kept them.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Were they special?
Speaker 3 (21:53):
No? They I just kept them. I haven't warn them,
but I have them because I'm packing and I saw
them and I was like, oh, this is the same.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Junk for me, just like black underwear. No, how do
you tell them from all your other underwear?
Speaker 3 (22:04):
Because there's something I wouldn't wear. They're blue with white
stripes on it, like the with with blue with white piping.
I should say, got it?
Speaker 2 (22:10):
Okay? I never noticed.
Speaker 3 (22:12):
I didn't look, Hannah stop, everybody looked.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
I did not look.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
The people were intrigued, the minds were curious.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
I don't think so. I'm really shocked.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
If you're listening to this episode and you could you
knew what Lamurn was talking about. You knew you were
talking about blue underpants with white piping. Yeah, it's just
you and Lamarn. I feel like y'all are alone.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
On this. No, everybody knew. It's not a big deal.
It's not a big deal.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
It's fine, Okay, Well, I mean it's something I really
did not know that that's what they did, all right.
But I don't know how many years I've done television,
I did not know that you guys had Kendall tuck pants.
Speaker 3 (22:45):
Yeah, and I know women have modesty patches. Who what modesty?
You don't know modesty patches, Hannah. Hannah. First of all,
let's just break this down for it.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
Eyody wants to see my body on TV.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
That's you don't need modesty patches for network TV because
you were not showing that.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
That's what I do.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
I do network TV, right, So, so a modesty patch.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
Is when, by the way, this sounds so puritanical, the
modesty patch.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
Here's what a modesty patches. If you're doing a sex scene, right,
and they showed like the woman's body, the lower half,
they have a patch that's flesh colored. It's like sticky
tape that covers the have you done?
Speaker 1 (23:27):
Have you done a sex scene on what my camera phone?
Speaker 3 (23:34):
Maybe put this modesty patch on first?
Speaker 2 (23:38):
Don't want a to tell I can't pick it out
of lineup.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
No, I have it woke. I did a sex scene
and she had to wear a modesty patch. It was weird.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
It was like, all right, I'm wearing like I'm not
mature enough for any of this. If someone was like,
put this modesty patch on, I'd be like, I got
a call a lawyer.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
You know who didn't wear monesty patch. Halle Berry and
Monsters Ball they were doing it to each other. Really yeah,
but we can move on. God, we digress.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
This just feels like, are real we should have I
want to get like someone from our incredible wardrobe department
to come in here and talk to us about this
whole situation.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
I really did not know. It feels like on network
TV too. It's like such a crazy thing to do
because you don't really see anything or do anything. Like
it's a pretty protected like type of television.
Speaker 3 (24:29):
You can't walk it around if you're walking around with
a hammer and we ain't filming thor they got to
cover that up. They got to cover that up. You
can't just walk around swinging like that.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
Okay, so you kept the underpain.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
I kept good to know, so I still have them
for any fans that I'll auction those I'll sign those
and auction those off.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
A weird pair. I guess they technically never touched anything.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
No, they touched the outside of a modesty patch wild.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
Yeah, okay, all right, okay, I think I had to
go to break. I need a second to process.
Speaker 3 (25:02):
Yeah, okay, I didn't.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
Realize all those years that you guys were all tucked in, Yeah,
wearing neudy little underwear. Yeah, that's padded.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
It's got a break, and we are back. If you're
just tuning in and it's confused about mail anatomy, weird,
very very weird.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
But she learned something about all wardrobe department that I
had no idea.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
Okay, I just cap that off with the fact that
he couldn't find a condom. He ran through the city.
He tried to buy one, he realized he didn't have
his pants on, so he never his wallet, didn't have
his phone, so he couldn't call Daisy. All.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
You know, if you were at a pharmacy and there
was a guy wearing girls sweatpants and stood up and
was like, I just need a condom, would you just
buy him a pack?
Speaker 3 (25:54):
I would buy him a pack of condom.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
I would actually too, I'd be like, man, shame and
you're trying to do the right thing. I'd be like,
I just put it on my belt, give the condom
to get him out of here.
Speaker 3 (26:03):
Give that man a condom.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
That's I would do the same thing about I didn't
think anything was wrong with it. I thought that a
pharmacist guy was being.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
All little cruise, a bit aggressive.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
I didn't like that. I don't like that choice.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
Okay, So then Jess she walks into Nick's room in
his hoodie, being all sexual. She's eating the drawstring and
she says, it's crunchy.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
Why is that?
Speaker 1 (26:25):
Why is that so like such a universal sexy thing?
She had like the tossled hair she had just like
the hoodie on. She had one shoulder out, and I
feel like any human being watching it was just like,
this is sexy, but it's like a hoodie.
Speaker 3 (26:38):
No, that's universally sexy.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
You did not find that like a little titillating. No, really,
are you wearing the padded pants right now?
Speaker 3 (26:51):
My legs across? Yeah? I was. That scene was exciting
for me.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
I was like, Oh, I was like, why is that
so universal?
Speaker 1 (26:59):
When like a girl like puts on like her boyfriend's
like sweatshirt or the thing.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
It's like, see, I wouldn't want my girlfriend wearing my
hoodie because then she'd probably smell the other woman's.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
Oh, for goodness sake, I don't be cheating.
Speaker 3 (27:14):
I don't. I don't, I don't, I don't. I just again,
you set it up. But I think I think part
of it is is also that we all know there's
nothing underneath that hoodie. So that's why it's that's why
it's sexy.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
The bare shoulder. There's no brass drap. You're going like, right,
so she's trying to use her womanly wily way.
Speaker 3 (27:35):
She could be wearing a little bit. Yeah, it don't matter,
It doesn't matter. Got to know. That's why the apron
with nothing underneath is because you're like, oh, ain't nothing
underneath it?
Speaker 1 (27:44):
Not like very you can see that nothing underneath. It
was just an apron. Well you just look at a
naked lady with like a napkin on.
Speaker 3 (27:50):
Yeah, but you know underneath that napkin Okay, unless she's
wearing a modesty patch.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
And we have to change this episode from parking spot to.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
Oh okay, So there's a lot of bribery going on.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
Yeah, they're all well, the part that was also so funny.
She comes in in the hoodie, she's being a little
flirty and he's like, all right, you have the spot whatever.
Then he goes in for a hug. And then her response,
because she's trying to like still resist temptation, she's still
trying to make sure this is only, says it a kiss.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
We're not bad. Like, is she.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
Purple nurples him? She does hard, brings him to his knees.
Have you ever been purple nurpled?
Speaker 3 (28:26):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (28:27):
Really?
Speaker 3 (28:28):
What? Oh my god? Yeah, people think it's funny. Oh
that's not funny.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
No, it doesn't feel funny to me.
Speaker 3 (28:34):
Yeah, that's like.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
Anybody I would hope, not like even like young, but
like you're but you're saying it's happened.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
I'm surprised guys do it to other guys because they
think it's funny. Guys also used to just like pop
you in the balls because they think it's funny. I'm like, man,
you might stop me from having children. Brother, that's not hilarious.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
You in the ball ball to you should have you
stole the wrong underwear. If you had the padded underwear,
you'd be ready for ready pop up.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
I know it's like, you know, I should I mean
for me, I also took those two to be honest
with you. No, but that happened. That's a real thing.
So purple Urple's ball taps sometimes you take an electrode
and anyway, so they have so.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
They have this purple nurple moment.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
They come out, and then Schmidt identifies because he did
not know about the kiss, right, and now.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
He sniffs it. He's so far that when he looks
at me, he smells like, freak. You want to.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
I feel like it's funny.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
I've seen that like as a meme and I never
understood where it was from or what it was about.
It's so true when you could all of a sudden
like recognize sexual tension. Oh yeah yeah, and you're like,
what happened? Something happened. The air smells different.
Speaker 3 (29:52):
And then Jess admits to Schmidt that she and Nick
they kissed.
Speaker 4 (29:56):
Right.
Speaker 3 (29:57):
Hey, folks, we're going to go to break but when
we come back, Hannah has some explaining to do something
very very important that we all want to know. And
we are back. Hannah, I'm looking at your face right now,
and you look guilty.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
You know what it's funny.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
So I was talking to my beloved Wendy Heisler, who
also works on this podcast. I love her so much,
and we were talking about season two of New Girl
and we were saying it. These were her words. She
was like, it's a perfect season of television. And I
was like, man, I forgot until I rewatched that this
is really like hit after hit with every episode.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
I'm like, this is an incredible season. We did accept
in one department, and.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
I feel like they were so good on making sure
like the storylines were tight, and then it was so
funny and the jokes were hitting and all this stuff
that they didn't remember to always put the bear in
a place that I could easily find it for future
me in this podcast. So this episode, this episode, do.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
You see what I have to do that? Whope? Preamble?
Speaker 1 (31:02):
So in this episode, for the where's the Bear bear,
it's just on the fridge, and we do see it
on the fridge, and I know we've talked about the
fridge a lot.
Speaker 2 (31:13):
I'm just saying, season two, it's a bit hard.
Speaker 3 (31:16):
Did you find a bear in the next episode we're doing?
I did, okay, good because that was the easy one.
So we're gonna talk.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
About it too.
Speaker 3 (31:23):
Yeah. Okay. So if you're just a where's the Bear fan,
then just skip the rest of this episode, go to them.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
Go to first day, first date. It's goot.
Speaker 3 (31:33):
Okay, so you didn't find the bear yet again letting
down millions of fans.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
But they're telling my side.
Speaker 3 (31:40):
Sure if you think so, believers, if you think so.
Speaker 2 (31:42):
Okay, So back to the parking spot.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
So now they're in a race, right, because all of
a sudden, Nick says, I don't want to be the
decider anymore. I don't want to be the suggester anymore.
It's too much pressure. He wants the spot. He's being
manipulated back and forth. He cannot take the pressure. Now
is he wants it? And so now it's a mad dad.
Whoever is in the spot first, Yes, gets the spot
and it's one of the funniest things in the world
(32:04):
to watch. Some scatter like roaches. Oh yeah, and they
just start running through the.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
City and the way Jake throws the money out the kids. Yes,
I was like, you know, all of that is just
Jake handling this scene because it probably just said he
went and got the pulled it off tried to get
the car, but him screaming the car won't start and
doing the I was in tears.
Speaker 3 (32:29):
Five. Another cool thing about it was it showcased personality
with car, meaning, yes, of course Nick's car is covered
in cardboard, but that's of course, Jess's car is covered
in cats, that's right. And of course she stops to
take a picture of it in the middle of her
mad dash, you know, of trying to find this parking spot.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
Well, we have to talk about something right before they
scatter like roaches, because it's one of the most iconic
New Girl moments, and I forgot it fully existed. And
I was laughing, which is when he is like leaving
the apartment because the tension is too high, right before
he says, I'm taking the spot.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
Is they have a weird off?
Speaker 3 (33:04):
Yes, weird off at the.
Speaker 4 (33:06):
Elevator also had me in tears because again that was
just the genius of those two actors bouncing off of
each other back and forth and committing to their weirdness.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
And I loved it so much because it's the stuff
you can't write. It's just like they get weird. They
say weird or weird or weird or weirder, and they
could have done anything, and somehow what they did is
like the oddest choice, Like you would think they would
have used their bodies or the space more and instead
it's just stuff.
Speaker 3 (33:36):
It's just the weird.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
Face stuff and like broken wrist stuff.
Speaker 3 (33:39):
You could tell that was Liz Merriweather, though I feel
like she was probably.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Like that tighter and smaller, go.
Speaker 3 (33:44):
Weirder, No, can you do something like but I don't know.
She probably did one of those things and then they
were like, I guess she wants some face stuff.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
Yeah, well it makes sense because that's how it plays
in like a network comedy. You're in that tight shot
usually most of the time. So it was a smart
thing to do to keep it like that. I just
I mean, I wasn't there that day, but I wonder
how far it went and how many alternate versions of
weird Yes they were asked to do, because this is
season two, we got asked to do alternate versions of everything.
Speaker 3 (34:10):
Oh yea yeah, yeah, yea yeah. That's probably some less
weird In fact, we have when we have these rap parties,
they'll show the blooper reels, and I feel like some
of these blooper reels, they exist. They exist on the DVD.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
Season two definitely has a blooper reel.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
I feel like that's out curious about there, and there's
more extra weird stuff.
Speaker 2 (34:26):
And then mostly as I was just breaking and laughing,
I feel.
Speaker 3 (34:29):
Like, now CC, she thanks you wrong for giving her
a second chance and saying you're saying her friends really
aren't that bad. And this is when we discover Winston
is still on the prowl for his contract because he
comes banging on the door aggressively.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
It's one of my favorite moments because it was also
one of those things it was so true to life,
is that you and I had not spent on camera
barely any time together. Yeah, and so when you bust
in looking for the condemn I think my character says,
it's like, we don't know each.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Other that well. I bet you two times. How do
you know where I live? This is problematic and the
fact that it's spoken out loud makes me laugh so hard.
Speaker 1 (35:08):
The first thing when I see you bust in, I
was sitting there as a fan watching the show, going.
Speaker 2 (35:13):
How did you even know where she lives? Why would
he even try?
Speaker 3 (35:17):
Is a future detective?
Speaker 1 (35:20):
It was so funny that they had CC say it
out loud. Yeah, and then Winston asked to borrow a condo,
but he says he does have and his wallet doesn't
hand it over.
Speaker 3 (35:31):
Yeah, well that was like so no, weird, No, it
was CC was it was dismissing Winston, like you kept
telling him to get out.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
That's right, he should have gone. But then you asked
the question. He said, I do have one. You say, like,
she's gonna have to use it tonight.
Speaker 2 (35:47):
For while, this also.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
Felt like a very like blurred lines between a Winston
Lamar moment, because I could see you being like, Okay,
I'm wrong, I shouldn't be here.
Speaker 2 (35:55):
I get it.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
But also quick it's like, let me ask her, because
no respect women.
Speaker 2 (36:01):
Is he gonna have to use it? So wildly crazy,
so funny.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
Okay, there's a standoff now back at the parking spot. Hm,
oh my gosh. Oh yeah, and they talk about the
no nail oath.
Speaker 3 (36:15):
Oh Yeah yeah, that was that was aggressive, which is
a real thing. It's a real thing. It's not I
feel like when people live together you do have a
responsibility to keep it civil.
Speaker 2 (36:27):
But isn't it usually unsaid and definitely unwritten.
Speaker 3 (36:31):
No, I think no written is one thing. I don't
think this because they've written down a bunch of other
things as well. You know, but but you have to
say it at least it has to be addressed, like, listen,
we want to live peacefully. Please, if you're going to
do it, go, I don't know. It's it's one of
those things where you don't want to screw up the
dynamic of the place you live. Yeah, you know what
(36:53):
I mean.
Speaker 2 (36:54):
But the no nail oath so wildly offensive.
Speaker 3 (37:00):
Yeah, and I.
Speaker 1 (37:01):
Loved I loved the choices that so I made and
her reactions because it was completely spot on.
Speaker 3 (37:08):
Yeah. Like but but what was funny about it was
that even though even after she was so offended by
this no nail oath, which in theory is a great idea,
but you're very offensive, but they didn't go, well, we
have to kiss She's like all the episode it was like, wait,
you're offended by guys saying you can't have sex with
(37:28):
this person, but not offended by this man saying now
you have to kiss me.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
I think honestly, at that point it's just anything that
she can do to make it less weird because she's
so wildly attracted to Nick Miller, and she doesn't know
what to do about it, and she needs it to end.
And I know she's definitely not in her right mind
when she's doing it, but it's just like such a
(37:53):
it's just such a funny moment to be like, maybe
maybe if this happens and then we'll all just be
able to move on. I kind of get it, and
she knows that she's gotten like.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
Nothing's gonna come from that. So I don't know when
they're doing.
Speaker 1 (38:05):
By the way, I just want to talk about the
standoff in that parking spot. It made me laugh so
hard and something I've never forgotten about. I didn't really
remember this episode so strongly, but I remember that thing
because we've all had that feeling in life.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
Where Schmid has to peace so badly that he then
peace inside his body.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
Yes, just like toxic poisoning of urine within his body,
And I remember being like.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
Is that a thing? Could that really happen internally?
Speaker 3 (38:32):
You could be inside yourself.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
There's no way.
Speaker 3 (38:34):
Well, I could break down the mechanics, but it'll be
grow some disgusting and we'll have to cut it. Yeah,
I could break it down for you guys, if you
want to.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
Be inside your body. And then he just literally pieced himself.
Speaker 3 (38:46):
He didn't literally piece himself. It just at that point,
At that.
Speaker 1 (38:49):
Point, I can't believe everybody didn't just go, like give
the spot.
Speaker 3 (38:52):
At that point, I couldn't understand why he's he doesn't
realize he's in a parking lot.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
Just pee on the ground, yeah, pee anywhere?
Speaker 3 (38:59):
Well really, I was so confused by that, Like you're smid.
Speaker 2 (39:03):
He's very particular.
Speaker 3 (39:05):
Yeah, he rather piss his own pants.
Speaker 1 (39:06):
I guess it just happened. But the way he's sitting
to all like curled up.
Speaker 3 (39:12):
My favorite is with Nick decided he found a piece
of paper. He goes, look, it's got chocolate on it,
and he starts licking the.
Speaker 2 (39:17):
Chocolate like a child of a dirty rapper.
Speaker 3 (39:20):
Not a dirty rapper. I've had to stop my three
year old from doing that once upon a time.
Speaker 1 (39:23):
Yeah, well there's a lot about Nick Miller that feels
like a three year old sometimes.
Speaker 3 (39:27):
Absolutely, that's the sure person that loaf with Winston.
Speaker 1 (39:31):
Okay, so oh, and then Nick says that he regrets
the kiss, and that's when she's like, I'm out, I'm leaving.
Then he's like I'm out, I'm leaving right, and then
Schmid's down there right, and he's like, you better go
after and fix it. Because that was like a hurtful
thing to say.
Speaker 3 (39:47):
Yeah, pretty pretty hurtful. Yeah. But I found about his
pants though, when he did I know we're going backwards. Yeah,
they didn't dress his pants, right.
Speaker 1 (39:57):
I noticed that too, when one little circle, Yeah, like, no,
it didn't make sense what happened. He also, if you
had to pee that bad.
Speaker 3 (40:05):
Also, if the circles down here, that means.
Speaker 2 (40:08):
He wasn't he wasn't wearing the modesty pants.
Speaker 3 (40:11):
I mean that, boy, oh boy, got that. Got that.
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (40:20):
I do know what you're saying, super clearly.
Speaker 3 (40:23):
You get what I'm I do.
Speaker 1 (40:25):
Yeah, I think it was more just like they put
the water in the wrong spot. I'm just saying, and
they did it like in a terrible way. Nobody knows
what's really going on down there because all of you
guys were zipped up and tucked up and pad it up,
so nobody knows.
Speaker 3 (40:39):
But here's what I mean about how you pee inside
of yourself. Now we know because now we know he
he go down that way, so p inside yourself. You
when you tuck it, okay, just put it upside.
Speaker 1 (40:52):
Doctors are gonna call us, They're gonna we have doctors
in the DM being like, please don't say those things.
They're not true. Nothing's happening within your body. You would
go to the hospital.
Speaker 3 (41:02):
I digress.
Speaker 2 (41:03):
Oh yeah. Then Winston walks back in the loft.
Speaker 3 (41:05):
Yeah, and he's pissed off. He's letting the whole group know,
you know, today has been a day and he needs
a w he needs to win, and because everybody's having
sex around here. But he walked in and he saw
Jests and Schmid kissed and he's like, damn.
Speaker 2 (41:21):
Everybody, everybody's got it going on.
Speaker 3 (41:23):
He's like, except for me, and so I need I
need to win, and they agree.
Speaker 1 (41:27):
And the most classic LA thing happens where he gets
the spot, but all those spots are so sardine together
that you are now trapped.
Speaker 3 (41:34):
You're trapped and he can't get out.
Speaker 2 (41:36):
I know.
Speaker 1 (41:36):
Friends are bad parking spots, like at their apartments and
you have to like climb out the trunk because it's
tight because you don't know what car your neighbor has
next to you, and if they're just if it's too big.
Speaker 2 (41:47):
Then that's what the deal is. You got to climb
out the trunk.
Speaker 3 (41:49):
I don't want to park that bad. I don't want
to park.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
But did you?
Speaker 3 (41:54):
But now, here's the thing with these Teslas. If you
you can, if your car is boxed in, you can
hit a button. Not even Tesla's any car. Now, I
feel like you can hit a button. It'll back the
car out for you and then repark it. No, it'll
back it out for you so you can get in
and out.
Speaker 2 (42:08):
Oh, I see what you're saying.
Speaker 3 (42:09):
So you could like, if you know, you know you're
not gonna be able to get out, you hit the button.
It'll put itself in the spot for you.
Speaker 2 (42:15):
My car is not that fancy. I did not know
that that was.
Speaker 3 (42:17):
Rolls Choice is half this feature.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
I have a boy's choice, not a Rolls choice, some
boy's choice.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
It's a bicycle. I just have a little bicycle. I
ran around town. I called the Boys' choice. Leave me alone,
Somebody give me a car.
Speaker 3 (42:31):
Oh yeah, this this podcast is sponsored by Lamborghini of
Beverly Hills.
Speaker 2 (42:38):
Oh wait, there's this moment that happened. We missed the moment.
Speaker 1 (42:41):
Oh my gosh, I even written here because I freaked
out about it right before, Like Schmid's character busts in
and Jess is carrying the fish sticks. Yeah, and they're
about to get after it. You think, oh my god,
it's happening.
Speaker 2 (42:59):
Now.
Speaker 1 (42:59):
They tried to this whole episode from that toothbrush moment.
It's about to happen, and she drops the box and
he goes, you dropped your fish sticks, And all it
reminded me of is in Dirty Dancing, one of my
favorite movies. There's the I carried a watermelon moment. I'm
this iconic moment of being like awkward and like you
(43:20):
just can't resist this incredible thing and person in front
of you and you don't know what to do is
you're doing something weird with a thing at this fish
sticks moment. But that's in the pilot of New Girl,
and I was like, holy smokes.
Speaker 2 (43:31):
It's like a second bear Dirty.
Speaker 1 (43:34):
Dancing references, and I feel like the fish sticks and
the watermelon thing they live in the same world.
Speaker 3 (43:40):
We have another segment called where's the Dirty Dancing reference? Hannah,
these aren't real, These aren't real. Theories had just now
I'm a.
Speaker 2 (43:49):
Fan of this show that we are rewatching.
Speaker 1 (43:51):
I just happened to have also been on it, and
I'm telling you there seems to be a tie in
between that moment and the dropping the fish sticks and
then the tension felt very dirty dancing just in the
pilot of New Girl. I'm just putting it out there.
If you agree with me, say it loudly. Thank you
so much.
Speaker 3 (44:08):
It was gonna be six people.
Speaker 2 (44:10):
Also, remember they did say this very loudly during the episode.
The b just be crazy.
Speaker 1 (44:14):
Yeah, and I would like to see when it comes
to this moment, I might be a little crazy on it,
but I'm sticking with it.
Speaker 3 (44:19):
Yeah, they were talking about you.
Speaker 2 (44:22):
I'll take it.
Speaker 3 (44:24):
Let's go to break. When we come back, I feel
like we should probably mess around. Come and we are back, Hannah.
I learned a lot about you today. I learned that
you don't know about mail anatomy.
Speaker 1 (44:44):
Didn't you know anything about the ken dolling of mail
actors for network comedies. That's I definitely need to see
what these underpants look like.
Speaker 3 (44:53):
I would say, I'll send you pictures, but then that's sexting.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
You could send me any sort of crazy illicit thing
and it would sell. Never between us be considered sex sick.
Speaker 2 (45:04):
I would just be like a child got hold of
his fall.
Speaker 1 (45:06):
There's nothing that would ever ever read to me that way.
You can send me a picture of these underpaints.
Speaker 3 (45:12):
I'm gonna I'm gonna post the underpants online. I haven't
they're in my room. I'm going to take a picture.
I'm going to put it on on ig and just
see if any fans identify with it. I'm not gonna
say nothing. I'm just going to say if you know,
you know that's right, and then we'll see what they say.
Speaker 2 (45:26):
We'll see what they We'll.
Speaker 3 (45:26):
See they won't all right handle this mess around.
Speaker 2 (45:29):
Let's go, babe, Yeah, babe.
Speaker 3 (45:33):
Have you had the parking spot argument with the roommate before,
because I know you talked about how you had your
own situation going on.
Speaker 1 (45:39):
The only time I've had like a parking spot situation
and a situation, and I wasn't an argument. I guess
there was just somebody that shared the shed with my car.
Hey man leave, there was the shed door would open,
he would leave. There was no conversation, we never spoken.
Speaker 2 (45:58):
We were ships passing in the night.
Speaker 3 (46:00):
I could have been your future husband.
Speaker 2 (46:02):
How did you read well funny story.
Speaker 3 (46:07):
I've never had that argument with anyone because all the
apartments that I've lived in had assigned parking.
Speaker 2 (46:13):
Right, well technically so did I.
Speaker 3 (46:16):
Yeah, so I've never been he just self assigned, had
gates right, you know what I mean? Fancy, No, I wasn't.
This is when like I was struggling, they just the
apartments happened to have a parking spot. And then and.
Speaker 2 (46:29):
Then did you ever have to do tandem?
Speaker 1 (46:32):
That was the nightmare to get into a tandem parking
spot situation, because then it's like something, come down back
the car, you gotta go, You're gonna get your you
have to do that.
Speaker 2 (46:41):
It's so annoying.
Speaker 3 (46:42):
I don't think I ever had to do that. I
I've you know what I have had to do. Once
I bought a house, my garage was half filled with
storage stuff and then it be a two car garage,
but only space for my car. But then my brother,
I mean my brother lived together. He would park behind me.
So there times when he would come home after me
and park behind me, and then I can't get out,
(47:04):
so I have to Hey, can you come move your car?
Speaker 2 (47:06):
That's what I'm talking about. Is so annoying.
Speaker 1 (47:08):
The moving of the cars, or then you have to
do the car and then get your car out and
then repark their car again.
Speaker 3 (47:13):
Yeah, that I've had to do that before, that first
world problem. Okay, does Schmid's logic of him having to
kiss Jess make any sense?
Speaker 1 (47:24):
No, But I think they also feel like they have
run out of road and resisting each other, and he's like,
I don't want this living situation to get super weird,
and so they're just trying anything. So I can see
how in the situation to be like, fine, I'm surprised
because it's the New Girl universe that they didn't make
(47:45):
it weirder and then go, well, now that Schmid would.
Speaker 3 (47:48):
Say, nick, yeah, that.
Speaker 2 (47:52):
Was the real thing.
Speaker 1 (47:54):
I was just surprised it didn't have that extra level
of nick and being like I'm not going to kiss
you man.
Speaker 3 (48:00):
Yeah, that's when you say that out loud. It feels
like it's something that was actually shot, or at least
Max threw that out there and they just didn't use it.
Speaker 2 (48:10):
I would not be surprised.
Speaker 3 (48:11):
Yeah, I think that would have happened.
Speaker 2 (48:12):
He'd be like, no, nails, Like, what are we talking about?
Speaker 3 (48:16):
That that my mouth?
Speaker 2 (48:18):
That's right?
Speaker 3 (48:19):
God, that's funny. Yeah for me, I don't think it
makes any sense. I think it makes it.
Speaker 1 (48:23):
But I can see how when you're desperate, you know,
just like you suggest a weird thing.
Speaker 2 (48:30):
We've all done that thing. We're like, why do that?
Speaker 3 (48:32):
Hey, because isn't that the isn't it the second time
Schmidt uh huh tried to He tried to kiss it
on the first season right on twenty nine. Well, the
story of the fifty Yeah.
Speaker 2 (48:43):
When they had the birthday party.
Speaker 3 (48:44):
Yeah, yeah, you're out there. I feel like Schmid was
trying to get it in with Jess this whole time. Sorry,
but you were.
Speaker 2 (48:55):
Yes, yes, the world is a disaster.
Speaker 3 (48:58):
Okay, So Winston go want a mission to find a condom?
You got any funny condom stories that you can share?
Speaker 2 (49:03):
Any funny condoms?
Speaker 3 (49:04):
You don't wear them? Man, She's like, what is that?
Speaker 2 (49:08):
You know? I feel like you have funny condom stories.
Speaker 3 (49:14):
Yeah, I have a child, so I think she got
here condom let's see funny condom stories. I don't know
if I have any funny condom stories, because honestly, safe
sex is a real thing and it's and it's a
non laughing matter. So if you are out there, you
or anyone you know are struggling to find a condom.
Please their resources in whatever city you're in. It'll help
(49:38):
you find customers the more you know. Or or you
can just throw some hand sanitizer on that thing.
Speaker 2 (49:47):
Or a baseball hat.
Speaker 1 (49:48):
The suggestions, suggestions, it's a desperate.
Speaker 3 (49:55):
The plastic bag, the plastic bag.
Speaker 2 (49:59):
I'll plastic bag.
Speaker 3 (50:01):
I had a friend of mine told me he when
he lost his virginity, he was so dumb. He didn't
have a condom, so he he put on a grocery bag.
Speaker 2 (50:11):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (50:12):
What But that's what he said, and he had sex
and the girls like, is this gonna protect me?
Speaker 2 (50:21):
He was like, yeah, why, this is why he was.
Why needs to exist in the school system. What a.
Speaker 3 (50:36):
Sex education is real, y'all. We got to keep that back,
Get that back in the schools they take out the school.
Speaker 2 (50:41):
I don't know, but it feels like it should. There
should be more of it.
Speaker 3 (50:45):
Well, folks, that was a great show. Parking Spot. Please
follow us on Instagram, the mess Around Pod. You know,
go out there and get some merch. You know, I
get a coffee, merch.
Speaker 1 (51:03):
Coffee cozy, this sweater. I feel like I'm were like
a little blanky it's all cozy inside.
Speaker 3 (51:08):
I just an idea. What Because I'm a genius, I
just went off in my head. What the mess around condoms?
Boom boom, somebody call, call Trojans, call who you gotta call. Oh,
that's gonna be so dope.
Speaker 2 (51:22):
I cannot right now.
Speaker 3 (51:24):
It's gonna be so dope. The mess around condom.
Speaker 1 (51:26):
I mean, I feel like if somebody pulled out a
condom and it said the word mess around on it,
I'd be like, I do feel like this should be
the most trusted situation.
Speaker 3 (51:34):
No, they're not gonna work. Yeah, yeah, it's gonna be
very very convey.
Speaker 2 (51:41):
It's gonna look like children. I got a present for you,
Swiss cheez condoms.
Speaker 3 (51:46):
It'll be fine. It'll be fine. Make those.
Speaker 2 (51:49):
We're gonna work on the branding.
Speaker 3 (51:50):
Let's make that happen. If you, if you're a condom
manufacturer out there, listen, this is a big podcast.
Speaker 2 (51:57):
Man.
Speaker 3 (51:57):
You don't help us out here.
Speaker 2 (52:00):
When is he you? Next week?
Speaker 1 (52:02):
Ten infinities and it will not be about modesty underpans
or ten made.
Speaker 3 (52:08):
Condoms which you can buy at our merch site right now.
The mess around condoms. We got lambskin, sheepskin, nose skin,
you know what I'm saying. Hey, it's a good idea.
That was the mess around. This has been an iHeartMedia production.
(52:28):
Our executive producer is Joel Monique. Our engineer and editor
is Mia Taylor. Additional production from Daniel Goodman, Wendy Heisler,
and Kyle Shevrin. Our theme song was written and composed
by Ronald Jukebox Jackson. So We're Gonna catch you next
time by
So babe, Yeah, babe, we're talking about a parking spot today.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
It's the bane of my existence in La.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
Really, you can't find parking spaces, yeah, for it.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Is so hard to find parking in La.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
Yeah for you a Rolls Royce. Yeah, it's a big car.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Wish, that's a big car.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
I always it's the craziest thing in this city that
it causes stress and you have to like bank in time.
You're like, oh, dinners at eight thirty, Well, we have
to get there like a half an hour early to
like circle.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
Yeah, and there's no valet Uber. That's why Uber is
such an important That's why I'm mad. I never invested
in it. It was never even brought to my attention,
you know.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
I know I'm mad about it too. I know a
lot of people that did invest in it. I know
they are living large.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
They're like, man, I gave them ten thousand dollars. Yeah, well,
what would it turned into eighty billion? You're rich?
Speaker 2 (00:51):
That's right. I'm telling you that was crazy.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
I know some early investors and I'm like, low key,
it's a really funny thing. How that kind of like
lands in your brain because you know, like, why do
you tell me like they could see into the future,
like they're investing in front of a bunch of other
crazy stuff too that turned into.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Nothing exactly, And so they every once in a while
they hit it.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
We play the numbers.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
Oh boy, we love money.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
I mean, that's not everybody here.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
But when I rewatched the episode Parking Spot, part of
my brain was like, is this just like very like
la centric like this particular episode, because I felt the
stress of it if there was one parking spot amongst
all my roommates. But I'm like, does this translate to
anywhere else in the world that level of like I
(02:05):
need it?
Speaker 3 (02:05):
It does, because I can tell you I'm currently I
just sold my house in Chicago and I'm looking for
I'm looking for a smaller place in the city city,
an actual like heart of like in the West Sloop area.
I'm looking for a place. And I found this place
that I really liked. Problem was and it's a decent
sized place, you know what I mean. It's two floors,
got a great rooftop, digg It's an awesome place, four bedrooms,
(02:28):
one parking space. It has a garage, but it only
fits one car. And I sat there and I stared
a hole through his realtorre and I said, man, four bedrooms.
That means it's probably at least multiple adults living in here.
Sure where am I supposed to park? And it's like, oh, well,
some of these other houses right here they rent out
their garages. Sure, so I'm gonna go park my car
(02:51):
in somebody else's garage.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Insane?
Speaker 3 (02:53):
In what world am I doing that?
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (02:55):
People are strange. Next thing, you know, you got people
doing all kinds of odd things on top of your car. Sure,
which is in this episode? There's a moment where Yes
just comes back and she sees outside day of sleeping
on her car.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Okay, breaking down the episodes so we can get into it, ma'am. Okay,
because he's already feeling heated. I'm mad about this, sad
about it too. After Schmid discovers that the loft comes
with a parking.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
Spot and all out war between the loft mates and
sues for who gets in, manipulation used hoodie strip teases
and a no nail oath or just some of the
tricks that are used. Meanwhile, Winston, who is all but
ready to do sex things with Daisy, is sent on
a side quest all over town to find the condom.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
The condom.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
First of all, I would just like to say something
that we used to say this all the time on
New Girl, Dumbest Boy Alive. Dumbat Boy Alive is something
we said all the time, Schmidt dumbast boy Alive for
telling anybody about the parking spot. But she realizes very
quickly at the top of this episode.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
What you're doing.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Yeah, why would you do that?
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Why?
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Yeah, it's so stupid, stupid, But he's honest.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Well, it's that thing.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
What is It's easier to ask for forgiveness than to
ask for permission. Yeah, I feel like he missed that.
He did that Maya Angelou chapter of Life.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
He did. But also, this is silly. We've discussed this
before in the past. How big and expensive this lawful?
You mean to tell me these ignorant ass people didn't say, hey,
do we have a parking space?
Speaker 2 (04:26):
No, they didn't. Now you watched the show.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
No, these characters that were not sitting there and ask.
It does feel like something Schmidt would ask, and Schmidt
would No. I would not think that Nick or jess
or Winston, with how wild you are in the first
few seasons, are asking these questions. I would also say
that most apartment buildings I do go, they go street parking.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
It's a street parking and street parking.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
What do you mean most apartment buildings? How do you
haven't lived in an apartment in decades?
Speaker 2 (04:51):
I have.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
I've only lived in apartments and it was street parking
or like some weird creepy I live in an apartment
building where it was like a shed behind the house
and an alley at to park in, and it was
the creepiest walk of my life from the shed that
I had to park in to my apartment door.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
I took my life in my hands every single time.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
I felt like I've never been in an apartment where
they didn't have.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
You've been to that apartment that I'm talking about when
I lived on Sweet Yeah, yeah, and there was a
shed in the back through the courtyard.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
However, parking spot and on the list.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
It was a.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
Huge battle that was actually in that little like Melrose
Play style complex because everybody else there was like four
little sheds in the alley and it was two.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Cars per shed.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
But my apartment just happened to be solo, which you
would think, oh, that's amazing because you don't have to
worry about somebody coming in and dinging your car or something.
Because these sheds were super tiny, super tight, like we
see at the end of this episode. It was exactly
like that, except for as a girl that was living alone.
Every time that shed opened, it was also slash a
(06:01):
spot for someone who was unhoused.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
Ye to live. Well, look at least we got we
got a roommate.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
A car had a roommate.
Speaker 3 (06:10):
Sometimes somebody gotta keep it, somebody gotta protect it.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
And it wasn't so bad coming into park because then
you could like it would open, someone would run out.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
It was actually more stressful, hold on, hold on, It.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Was more hold on what I'm trying to say, so
fast for people would sleep in there.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
You would open your shed that people would run out.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
One person would run out who was sleeping there? And look,
you know, we had a deal. It was fine. I
didn't mind.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
It was much more creepy though on New Girl when
I was shooting and it was like a four am
call time and now I have to go in the
ship to get my car. That's worse.
Speaker 1 (06:45):
It was better to come home when the shed door
opens and I'm like, I gotta park here and he's like, okay, piece,
I'm out, and then but me trying to like open
the door to get in my car and be like, I.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
Don't die to making mistakes downtown.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
What are we gonna? This is why I'm saying, I
understand I felt the stress.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
When I was watching this episode. I was like, man,
a parking spot and a secured location. I would be
sitting there peeing myself too.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
All right, folks, let's go to break and when we
come back, we're going to talk more about this episode.
And we are back.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Top of the episode. Top of the episode does not
start with the parking spot.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
It doesn't start the parking spot. But really quick, I
just want to say. Directed by Fred Goss and written
by Rebecca Edelman.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Love Rebecca Adelman, huge fan, love fred Fred direct.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
He is very silly.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
He's also an actor, That's why.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Yeah, he gets it. He loved being on set shooting
the show. We love having him.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
Did we ever have him in the any episodes?
Speaker 2 (07:47):
No? I don't think so, which is so strange.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
He's so funny. Yeah, okay, let's dive right in.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Dive right in.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
So it starts off with Nick and Jess brushing their
teeth side by side.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
And it's not weird? Is that a whole point?
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Here's the thing if you've like broken the seal like
as friends, like you've kissed, you've made out, you're grown.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
Yeah, is there always just gonna be like that? You know?
Like that what's that thing? Like the elephant in the room?
Speaker 3 (08:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (08:22):
Whatever, right until you like, so you just go for it?
Speaker 3 (08:25):
Do you either go for it or establish it like
aggressively that this is not this, ain't this ain't it?
Speaker 1 (08:31):
But it's always gonna be a little weird. They're just
sitting there and then he makes a joke about like
we just.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Just have THX.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Yeah, like he says it, yeah, big foreshadowing because it
ends up they can't handle it, right.
Speaker 3 (08:42):
I think ultimately he knows they both do. They both
know they want to be each other, but Nick obviously
can't express himself and he can't say what he wants,
so he's he beats around the bush a lot, and
she's just an awkward thirteen year old.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
That's less. Yeah, it's very less.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
Very very you know like me, I used to I
used to live with three women. I think we talked
about this right before I booked knew girl. I lived
in this townhouse. It was me and three women. Fucked
them all you did? It was funny to say in
the moment, I did not. I did not.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
I did not tell the truth, just like Schmid with
a parking spot.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
Was I was.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
No one was interested.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
Yeah, I was messing around with one of them. And
she's a lovely young lady. We used to be. But
the thing is we dated prior. We had a whole
new girl situation going on her and I had dated pride.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Did it make it weird for everyone else?
Speaker 3 (09:36):
No, not at all. It did when we were arguing
wh it did?
Speaker 1 (09:42):
I sat in there with like an old married couple
and it was supposed to be just like four friends.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
But it was weird because it was weird because I
was the only man in there. You know girl code.
They always stuck together, so no one ever had my back.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
You may have told me that you were the dumbest
boy alive.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
I'd be like, man, can you believe this? Ship? Can
you believe she said this? They'd be like, yeah, we
believe that she said it. Yes we can't.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Yeah, yeah, you're an idiot who.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
Got my back in here? Why so I moved out. Yeah, seriously,
he loves like PCO. I booked New Girl and I
was like.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
What happened before I was in your life to be
like zip it up.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
I don't know where that came from. The Dumbest Boy Live,
Oh my.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Gosh, the origin of the Dumbest Boy Alive. I genuinely
don't know, but we would just say it on set
all the time, Domas.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
We would say, dumbest poy in school, demist point school,
dumbest point in school, and we would just say it.
I don't remember who's.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
I don't know if there's an origin story. It just
was said.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
There's a lot of inside jokes that were on our
show that I don't remember the origin for it.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
Until Damon came along. The Damon Kid started a.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
Lot of all your stuff. I think that was a
Max thing.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
I think that's why you're the Dumbest Boil Live Dumis.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
Boil in School Like he would say that, he would yell.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
It, yeah, and then it just became part of the show. Yeah,
but it was said off camera.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
Yeah a lot, oh a lot, oh, because we meant it. Yeah.
Mainly when talking about Jake is mainly that's true. He
couldn't operate a coffee machine once that was labeled yeah,
meaning it had in a white piece of paper latte,
white piece of paper espressed a white people's coffee, and
then a glowing green button next to them. You would
(11:21):
put your cup down and you would, yeah, push the button,
press the button. Jake, one time I walk in there
and he's making himself a coffee and he's like, work
this damn thing. Fucking He's like mumbling to himself. I said, Jake,
just press the buttons. He was like, I am pressing
the button. He's pressing the white label that's clearly a
piece of paper, and he's like pressing get over and
(11:42):
over again.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
There's a line here where he talks about the whiffy
in this episode, and that was definitely pulled from real
life because I'll never forget. We were waiting for a
setup of a scene or something was happening. We were
all standing in the kitchen.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
We're all on our phones, because that's what people do,
where all the casts are on their phones, just doing
our own thing.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
And Jake was just sitting there.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Right and I was like, we were trying to google
something some song lyric. I remember some weird song lyric
and he was talking about it and I was like,
google it and he's like I can't.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
I was like why. He goes, well, my phone doesn't
have whiffy and I was like what. First of all,
how are you pronouncing this word?
Speaker 1 (12:25):
Second of all, I was I remember being like, come here,
Grandma and like took his phone like swipe down, showed
him how to do it, how to connect it. I
was like, he thought that whole however long he'd had
that phone, oh, that it did not connect to.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
The Wi Fi.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
So you know when you have your phone.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
He's like, I didn't pay for it, and I'm like,
you know how it works the phone.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
I didn't get that option. It's like a warranty on it.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
It's like it's data only. I was like, you can
turn oh god. I was like I didn't know what
to do with you.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
Do you know how? So here's your phone? Yeah, And
when you want the screen to go black, either you
have it on like automatic, like it shuts off after
sixty seconds of inactivity, you can put it to it
never shuts off. Whatever the case may be. Jake, when
we'd be filming, right before they call action, he would
take the phone and always put it down like this,
and he would always do that, and one day I
(13:19):
asked him he would do this all the time. It's
going on for like months, and I said, why do
you always set your phone down like this when you
And he's like, so, I don't want the light to
I don't want the light to be flashing up genius.
And he's like telling me about lighting and shain and
I was just letting him talk and I was like, yeah,
you know you so you know you can just turn
it off. He's like, oh, what, I'm gonna go into
(13:40):
my settings and then go down and like shut the
phone off every time I want to have the screen
go to black. I said, Jake, you just press this
button and he was like, what, Yeah, you've never pressed
the button?
Speaker 2 (13:53):
Now your button? No?
Speaker 3 (13:54):
I said, how long have you had this phone? You've
never no pressed the button? Yeah, you fucking idiot.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
I do think that there was something that happened when
all of us came together and that show where really
like it was the combination of all of us that
gave like one solid brain, like teaching people just basic
things that seemed to make sense.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
We were all just like babies when.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
We started the show, and there were certain things that
were just like I just never figure that out.
Speaker 2 (14:20):
But Jake's wore the funniest because they were all about.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
Technology, pretty straightforward.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
So him saying, Whiffy in this you're.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
Right, I just remember that moment of all all of
us sitting there waiting, like waiting for like the scene
to go or something not on this episode a different thing.
And I think there's so much of that New Girl
where they would steal moments from who we were as people.
Oh yeah, and put it in the show because it
was so funny to them and you couldn't make it
up right, and Whiffy is one of them.
Speaker 3 (14:50):
So meanwhile, while Nick and Jess are in the bathroom, yes,
Schmid crashes into the bathroom yeah, and like an idiot,
screams he found the parking spot, so dumbest boil don't
spoil live. Yeah, and then he rips the fall.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
So strong, but again I understand it because of all
of my parking spot trauma.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
I was like, I get it, Yeah, like you have
just found gold. You have found the pot of gold
at the end of the rainbow. It exists, it's there.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
But he rips the towel wreck off the wall. He's
so excited, so strong, and he also used to do crossfits,
so he probably actually rapped that off the wall.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Yeah, he actually was. He was very strong though.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
Now here's the thing. All the loft mates like, what's fair?
They're all fair, just.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Say sharing, which a lot of people in LA do. Yeah,
they split a spot.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
M hmm.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Yeah, just kind of a nice feeling. And the boys
immediately say, no, that's fair.
Speaker 3 (15:38):
But I think I I if I recall, maybe I'm wrong.
Wasn't there a discussion about who was paying the most
in rent? Because I know there's a big dog room
season when we were talking about who gets the big
room the small room, and so I was of the
mindset that, you know, who's paying the most rent gets
the parking spot, you know.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Oh see that they had the opposite that were the
person in the small st room should get the spot.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
Well that must mean they're all paying the same amount.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Yeah, that's right. So they're saying this makes sense.
Speaker 3 (16:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
What I thought was also funny is everybody dries to
play the card lady card, race card.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
Lady drunk card. But he's like, no, it doesn't matter.
We all have a card. We don't get to play
the card.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
That's true, that's true. Just put it out there. I
think Jess should have got the spot, I mean the.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Fast and a parking spot. I was just like, this
makes the most sense. But yeah, the boys didn't think
like that.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
They didn't think that way.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
Makes it very funny.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
And she says obviously, she says, share did anybody else
come up with the suggestion? I know Nick said he's out,
he backed out.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
It was one of my favorite moments because I truly
feel of all the characters, I genuinely relate to the most,
it is Nick Miller, like for myself, and when Schmidt
and Jess like just kind of like stare him down
because he has to plead his case, and then he's like.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
I don't care that much.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
I don't care about anything that much to get as
weird as you all are about to get, and he
just bails and they're like, but then he becomes the decider,
unfortunately for him. But I could relate to that moment
to be like, oh, I don't have a competitive bone
in my body.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
You two are so competitive.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
I'm instantly out because I'll never go the distance with
you too.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
And I wouldn't. I honestly wouldn't meet personally. I wouldn't
give a shit.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Okay, your storyline in this is wild.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
It's not that wild.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
I feel like it's a little wild that you just
go like, I'm out of the conversation. I don't care
about this parking spot. I have a sex windows. The
only thing that matters you race over there once it
races over there without the what think that he would need.
Speaker 3 (17:39):
No, he has the one thing that he needs, his penis.
But because that's why people forget people. People forget condom's new.
Penis is old. It's been a it's it's you know.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
What I mean.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
You went over there with a condom and no penis, then.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
What are you gonna do?
Speaker 1 (17:55):
I'm just saying, hand animal, and you know you ain't
trying to make a baby. The two should go hand
in hand. You should have that condom with you.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
Pull out methods strong, but not that strong, pull out
name aggressive. No, No, you're right, you're one hundred percent right,
But I in my mind, in my mind, I'm in
TV land. Yes, it's rare that we see people break
out a condom.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
That's true.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
They just go for it.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
Yes, the Network Comedy especially, they're not sitting there being like.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
And let me tell you exactly.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
It's an after school special.
Speaker 3 (18:29):
It's so weird because because and this is, this is
how I know racism is alive and well in the movies,
when white people be kissing and having sex, yeah they be.
They just go for it. They slam against the wall.
They remember we talked about this violence, They move stuff
out of the way, and then they just go for
it and everything yeah black and Asian. Yeah, and they're like,
(18:50):
make sure you get them condoms. We don't need you
all appropriating. Yeah, I hope that's not what they do.
Girl writers. We try.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
I don't think so.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
No, but but but but but yes, So he had
to go to this place to go do the thing.
And fun fact about that scene, I still have those
underwear that Winston was wearing.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
What underwear the ones that he was wearing, I didn't notice, honestly.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
The only thing I remember you wearing are the Yum
yum or the yum the pink yum pants.
Speaker 3 (19:22):
But the pink yum pants were daisies.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
Yes, I know.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
How did he get them on?
Speaker 1 (19:27):
I just don't want I remember. I see I saw
Brenda and her Bron underwear. It was actually a very
cute matching set. It looked amazing. I don't remember you,
and I don't wasn't looking. Why would you get out
of all the things to keep you kept?
Speaker 3 (19:40):
No, because when you get to work, when you get
to work, they make if you have a scene, you
can't wear your own underwear because they want to make
sure you have to wear all the padding and stuff
underneath patting to protect the audience from seeing you know,
all that all that print, the print of what that
that that aam sad in.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
Which I can't right now with the hand that broad
worst you care special show underwear that's padded to ken
doll you.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
Yes, every time you see someone on TV with underwear on,
majority of the time they make they kend all you
because they don't want the audience to have that visual
of your goodies.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
I genuinely did not know you know no, I mean
I wore my Bron underwar several times a new girl,
and they would just bring in like a cute underwear
from like a store.
Speaker 3 (20:30):
When you wear a bra, do you put pasties on
underneath the bro? You put? You wear pasties? So what
if it's late you just walked around nippled out on
on Fox.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
They just didn't.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
They just had a bra that would not have you nippled.
There's those sexy lingerie like that cash underpants that they
had to pad you out. Why would they just get
you normal male underwear?
Speaker 3 (20:52):
Because then they gonna see all that snake outline?
Speaker 2 (20:56):
How thick is this padding?
Speaker 3 (20:57):
Get that outline? Is what you need to be asking.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
I'm genuinely asking, like, so is it a whole underwear
padded and thick?
Speaker 3 (21:04):
It's like a flesh colored thick kind of like underwear.
But they have a drawstring so you tighten it. And
so if you sorry for the visual, but if you're
like this, they want you to curl it under it's
a tuck. It's a tuck. You gotta take it.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
I mean, so Kendall is like an accurate way to
describe what happens. Then you put underwear on.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Top, then you put underwear on top of that.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
So which one did you steal? The Ken Doll underwear
or just this regular pair of underpants that go on.
Speaker 3 (21:33):
Top then the ones that are go on top. I
wouldn't steal the Ken Doll stuff, which is the.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
Regular underpan don't you just have regular underpants?
Speaker 3 (21:40):
They don't. It's for TV purposes. They don't let you.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
No what I'm saying, why would you steal just a
regular of underwear you're putting on top of your ken
doll underwear?
Speaker 3 (21:47):
Because when I was leaving, they're like, we can't use
these anyway, So just I just kept them.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Were they special?
Speaker 3 (21:53):
No? They I just kept them. I haven't warn them,
but I have them because I'm packing and I saw
them and I was like, oh, this is the same.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Junk for me, just like black underwear. No, how do
you tell them from all your other underwear?
Speaker 3 (22:04):
Because there's something I wouldn't wear. They're blue with white
stripes on it, like the with with blue with white piping.
I should say, got it?
Speaker 2 (22:10):
Okay? I never noticed.
Speaker 3 (22:12):
I didn't look, Hannah stop, everybody looked.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
I did not look.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
The people were intrigued, the minds were curious.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
I don't think so. I'm really shocked.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
If you're listening to this episode and you could you
knew what Lamurn was talking about. You knew you were
talking about blue underpants with white piping. Yeah, it's just
you and Lamarn. I feel like y'all are alone.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
On this. No, everybody knew. It's not a big deal.
It's not a big deal.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
It's fine, Okay, Well, I mean it's something I really
did not know that that's what they did, all right.
But I don't know how many years I've done television,
I did not know that you guys had Kendall tuck pants.
Speaker 3 (22:45):
Yeah, and I know women have modesty patches. Who what modesty?
You don't know modesty patches, Hannah. Hannah. First of all,
let's just break this down for it.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
Eyody wants to see my body on TV.
Speaker 3 (22:57):
That's you don't need modesty patches for network TV because
you were not showing that.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
That's what I do.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
I do network TV, right, So, so a modesty patch.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
Is when, by the way, this sounds so puritanical, the
modesty patch.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
Here's what a modesty patches. If you're doing a sex scene, right,
and they showed like the woman's body, the lower half,
they have a patch that's flesh colored. It's like sticky
tape that covers the have you done?
Speaker 1 (23:27):
Have you done a sex scene on what my camera phone?
Speaker 3 (23:34):
Maybe put this modesty patch on first?
Speaker 2 (23:38):
Don't want a to tell I can't pick it out
of lineup.
Speaker 3 (23:41):
No, I have it woke. I did a sex scene
and she had to wear a modesty patch. It was weird.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
It was like, all right, I'm wearing like I'm not
mature enough for any of this. If someone was like,
put this modesty patch on, I'd be like, I got
a call a lawyer.
Speaker 3 (23:56):
You know who didn't wear monesty patch. Halle Berry and
Monsters Ball they were doing it to each other. Really yeah,
but we can move on. God, we digress.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
This just feels like, are real we should have I
want to get like someone from our incredible wardrobe department
to come in here and talk to us about this
whole situation.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
I really did not know. It feels like on network
TV too. It's like such a crazy thing to do
because you don't really see anything or do anything. Like
it's a pretty protected like type of television.
Speaker 3 (24:29):
You can't walk it around if you're walking around with
a hammer and we ain't filming thor they got to
cover that up. They got to cover that up. You
can't just walk around swinging like that.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
Okay, so you kept the underpain.
Speaker 3 (24:42):
I kept good to know, so I still have them
for any fans that I'll auction those I'll sign those
and auction those off.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
A weird pair. I guess they technically never touched anything.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
No, they touched the outside of a modesty patch wild.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
Yeah, okay, all right, okay, I think I had to
go to break. I need a second to process.
Speaker 3 (25:02):
Yeah, okay, I didn't.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
Realize all those years that you guys were all tucked in, Yeah,
wearing neudy little underwear. Yeah, that's padded.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
It's got a break, and we are back. If you're
just tuning in and it's confused about mail anatomy, weird,
very very weird.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
But she learned something about all wardrobe department that I
had no idea.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
Okay, I just cap that off with the fact that
he couldn't find a condom. He ran through the city.
He tried to buy one, he realized he didn't have
his pants on, so he never his wallet, didn't have
his phone, so he couldn't call Daisy. All.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
You know, if you were at a pharmacy and there
was a guy wearing girls sweatpants and stood up and
was like, I just need a condom, would you just
buy him a pack?
Speaker 3 (25:54):
I would buy him a pack of condom.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
I would actually too, I'd be like, man, shame and
you're trying to do the right thing. I'd be like,
I just put it on my belt, give the condom
to get him out of here.
Speaker 3 (26:03):
Give that man a condom.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
That's I would do the same thing about I didn't
think anything was wrong with it. I thought that a
pharmacist guy was being.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
All little cruise, a bit aggressive.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
I didn't like that. I don't like that choice.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
Okay, So then Jess she walks into Nick's room in
his hoodie, being all sexual. She's eating the drawstring and
she says, it's crunchy.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
Why is that?
Speaker 1 (26:25):
Why is that so like such a universal sexy thing?
She had like the tossled hair she had just like
the hoodie on. She had one shoulder out, and I
feel like any human being watching it was just like,
this is sexy, but it's like a hoodie.
Speaker 3 (26:38):
No, that's universally sexy.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
You did not find that like a little titillating. No, really,
are you wearing the padded pants right now?
Speaker 3 (26:51):
My legs across? Yeah? I was. That scene was exciting
for me.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
I was like, Oh, I was like, why is that
so universal?
Speaker 1 (26:59):
When like a girl like puts on like her boyfriend's
like sweatshirt or the thing.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
It's like, see, I wouldn't want my girlfriend wearing my
hoodie because then she'd probably smell the other woman's.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
Oh, for goodness sake, I don't be cheating.
Speaker 3 (27:14):
I don't. I don't, I don't, I don't. I just again,
you set it up. But I think I think part
of it is is also that we all know there's
nothing underneath that hoodie. So that's why it's that's why
it's sexy.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
The bare shoulder. There's no brass drap. You're going like, right,
so she's trying to use her womanly wily way.
Speaker 3 (27:35):
She could be wearing a little bit. Yeah, it don't matter,
It doesn't matter. Got to know. That's why the apron
with nothing underneath is because you're like, oh, ain't nothing
underneath it?
Speaker 1 (27:44):
Not like very you can see that nothing underneath. It
was just an apron. Well you just look at a
naked lady with like a napkin on.
Speaker 3 (27:50):
Yeah, but you know underneath that napkin Okay, unless she's
wearing a modesty patch.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
And we have to change this episode from parking spot to.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
Oh okay, So there's a lot of bribery going on.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
Yeah, they're all well, the part that was also so funny.
She comes in in the hoodie, she's being a little
flirty and he's like, all right, you have the spot whatever.
Then he goes in for a hug. And then her response,
because she's trying to like still resist temptation, she's still
trying to make sure this is only, says it a kiss.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
We're not bad. Like, is she.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
Purple nurples him? She does hard, brings him to his knees.
Have you ever been purple nurpled?
Speaker 3 (28:26):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (28:27):
Really?
Speaker 3 (28:28):
What? Oh my god? Yeah, people think it's funny. Oh
that's not funny.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
No, it doesn't feel funny to me.
Speaker 3 (28:34):
Yeah, that's like.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
Anybody I would hope, not like even like young, but
like you're but you're saying it's happened.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
I'm surprised guys do it to other guys because they
think it's funny. Guys also used to just like pop
you in the balls because they think it's funny. I'm like, man,
you might stop me from having children. Brother, that's not hilarious.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
You in the ball ball to you should have you
stole the wrong underwear. If you had the padded underwear,
you'd be ready for ready pop up.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
I know it's like, you know, I should I mean
for me, I also took those two to be honest
with you. No, but that happened. That's a real thing.
So purple Urple's ball taps sometimes you take an electrode
and anyway, so they have so.
Speaker 2 (29:16):
They have this purple nurple moment.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
They come out, and then Schmidt identifies because he did
not know about the kiss, right, and now.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
He sniffs it. He's so far that when he looks
at me, he smells like, freak. You want to.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
I feel like it's funny.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
I've seen that like as a meme and I never
understood where it was from or what it was about.
It's so true when you could all of a sudden
like recognize sexual tension. Oh yeah yeah, and you're like,
what happened? Something happened. The air smells different.
Speaker 3 (29:52):
And then Jess admits to Schmidt that she and Nick
they kissed.
Speaker 4 (29:56):
Right.
Speaker 3 (29:57):
Hey, folks, we're going to go to break but when
we come back, Hannah has some explaining to do something
very very important that we all want to know. And
we are back. Hannah, I'm looking at your face right now,
and you look guilty.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
You know what it's funny.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
So I was talking to my beloved Wendy Heisler, who
also works on this podcast. I love her so much,
and we were talking about season two of New Girl
and we were saying it. These were her words. She
was like, it's a perfect season of television. And I
was like, man, I forgot until I rewatched that this
is really like hit after hit with every episode.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
I'm like, this is an incredible season. We did accept
in one department, and.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
I feel like they were so good on making sure
like the storylines were tight, and then it was so
funny and the jokes were hitting and all this stuff
that they didn't remember to always put the bear in
a place that I could easily find it for future
me in this podcast. So this episode, this episode, do.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
You see what I have to do that? Whope? Preamble?
Speaker 1 (31:02):
So in this episode, for the where's the Bear bear,
it's just on the fridge, and we do see it
on the fridge, and I know we've talked about the
fridge a lot.
Speaker 2 (31:13):
I'm just saying, season two, it's a bit hard.
Speaker 3 (31:16):
Did you find a bear in the next episode we're doing?
I did, okay, good because that was the easy one.
So we're gonna talk.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
About it too.
Speaker 3 (31:23):
Yeah. Okay. So if you're just a where's the Bear fan,
then just skip the rest of this episode, go to them.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
Go to first day, first date. It's goot.
Speaker 3 (31:33):
Okay, so you didn't find the bear yet again letting
down millions of fans.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
But they're telling my side.
Speaker 3 (31:40):
Sure if you think so, believers, if you think so.
Speaker 2 (31:42):
Okay, So back to the parking spot.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
So now they're in a race, right, because all of
a sudden, Nick says, I don't want to be the
decider anymore. I don't want to be the suggester anymore.
It's too much pressure. He wants the spot. He's being
manipulated back and forth. He cannot take the pressure. Now
is he wants it? And so now it's a mad dad.
Whoever is in the spot first, Yes, gets the spot
and it's one of the funniest things in the world
(32:04):
to watch. Some scatter like roaches. Oh yeah, and they
just start running through the.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
City and the way Jake throws the money out the kids. Yes,
I was like, you know, all of that is just
Jake handling this scene because it probably just said he
went and got the pulled it off tried to get
the car, but him screaming the car won't start and
doing the I was in tears.
Speaker 3 (32:29):
Five. Another cool thing about it was it showcased personality
with car, meaning, yes, of course Nick's car is covered
in cardboard, but that's of course, Jess's car is covered
in cats, that's right. And of course she stops to
take a picture of it in the middle of her
mad dash, you know, of trying to find this parking spot.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
Well, we have to talk about something right before they
scatter like roaches, because it's one of the most iconic
New Girl moments, and I forgot it fully existed. And
I was laughing, which is when he is like leaving
the apartment because the tension is too high, right before
he says, I'm taking the spot.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
Is they have a weird off?
Speaker 3 (33:04):
Yes, weird off at the.
Speaker 4 (33:06):
Elevator also had me in tears because again that was
just the genius of those two actors bouncing off of
each other back and forth and committing to their weirdness.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
And I loved it so much because it's the stuff
you can't write. It's just like they get weird. They
say weird or weird or weird or weirder, and they
could have done anything, and somehow what they did is
like the oddest choice, Like you would think they would
have used their bodies or the space more and instead
it's just stuff.
Speaker 3 (33:36):
It's just the weird.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
Face stuff and like broken wrist stuff.
Speaker 3 (33:39):
You could tell that was Liz Merriweather, though I feel
like she was probably.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Like that tighter and smaller, go.
Speaker 3 (33:44):
Weirder, No, can you do something like but I don't know.
She probably did one of those things and then they
were like, I guess she wants some face stuff.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
Yeah, well it makes sense because that's how it plays
in like a network comedy. You're in that tight shot
usually most of the time. So it was a smart
thing to do to keep it like that. I just
I mean, I wasn't there that day, but I wonder
how far it went and how many alternate versions of
weird Yes they were asked to do, because this is
season two, we got asked to do alternate versions of everything.
Speaker 3 (34:10):
Oh yea yeah, yeah, yea yeah. That's probably some less
weird In fact, we have when we have these rap parties,
they'll show the blooper reels, and I feel like some
of these blooper reels, they exist. They exist on the DVD.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
Season two definitely has a blooper reel.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
I feel like that's out curious about there, and there's
more extra weird stuff.
Speaker 2 (34:26):
And then mostly as I was just breaking and laughing,
I feel.
Speaker 3 (34:29):
Like, now CC, she thanks you wrong for giving her
a second chance and saying you're saying her friends really
aren't that bad. And this is when we discover Winston
is still on the prowl for his contract because he
comes banging on the door aggressively.
Speaker 1 (34:43):
It's one of my favorite moments because it was also
one of those things it was so true to life,
is that you and I had not spent on camera
barely any time together. Yeah, and so when you bust
in looking for the condemn I think my character says,
it's like, we don't know each.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Other that well. I bet you two times. How do
you know where I live? This is problematic and the
fact that it's spoken out loud makes me laugh so hard.
Speaker 1 (35:08):
The first thing when I see you bust in, I
was sitting there as a fan watching the show, going.
Speaker 2 (35:13):
How did you even know where she lives? Why would
he even try?
Speaker 3 (35:17):
Is a future detective?
Speaker 1 (35:20):
It was so funny that they had CC say it
out loud. Yeah, and then Winston asked to borrow a condo,
but he says he does have and his wallet doesn't
hand it over.
Speaker 3 (35:31):
Yeah, well that was like so no, weird, No, it
was CC was it was dismissing Winston, like you kept
telling him to get out.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
That's right, he should have gone. But then you asked
the question. He said, I do have one. You say, like,
she's gonna have to use it tonight.
Speaker 2 (35:47):
For while, this also.
Speaker 1 (35:49):
Felt like a very like blurred lines between a Winston
Lamar moment, because I could see you being like, Okay,
I'm wrong, I shouldn't be here.
Speaker 2 (35:55):
I get it.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
But also quick it's like, let me ask her, because
no respect women.
Speaker 2 (36:01):
Is he gonna have to use it? So wildly crazy,
so funny.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
Okay, there's a standoff now back at the parking spot. Hm,
oh my gosh. Oh yeah, and they talk about the
no nail oath.
Speaker 3 (36:15):
Oh Yeah yeah, that was that was aggressive, which is
a real thing. It's a real thing. It's not I
feel like when people live together you do have a
responsibility to keep it civil.
Speaker 2 (36:27):
But isn't it usually unsaid and definitely unwritten.
Speaker 3 (36:31):
No, I think no written is one thing. I don't
think this because they've written down a bunch of other
things as well. You know, but but you have to
say it at least it has to be addressed, like, listen,
we want to live peacefully. Please, if you're going to
do it, go, I don't know. It's it's one of
those things where you don't want to screw up the
dynamic of the place you live. Yeah, you know what
(36:53):
I mean.
Speaker 2 (36:54):
But the no nail oath so wildly offensive.
Speaker 3 (37:00):
Yeah, and I.
Speaker 1 (37:01):
Loved I loved the choices that so I made and
her reactions because it was completely spot on.
Speaker 3 (37:08):
Yeah. Like but but what was funny about it was
that even though even after she was so offended by
this no nail oath, which in theory is a great idea,
but you're very offensive, but they didn't go, well, we
have to kiss She's like all the episode it was like, wait,
you're offended by guys saying you can't have sex with
(37:28):
this person, but not offended by this man saying now
you have to kiss me.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
I think honestly, at that point it's just anything that
she can do to make it less weird because she's
so wildly attracted to Nick Miller, and she doesn't know
what to do about it, and she needs it to end.
And I know she's definitely not in her right mind
when she's doing it, but it's just like such a
(37:53):
it's just such a funny moment to be like, maybe
maybe if this happens and then we'll all just be
able to move on. I kind of get it, and
she knows that she's gotten like.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
Nothing's gonna come from that. So I don't know when
they're doing.
Speaker 1 (38:05):
By the way, I just want to talk about the
standoff in that parking spot. It made me laugh so
hard and something I've never forgotten about. I didn't really
remember this episode so strongly, but I remember that thing
because we've all had that feeling in life.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
Where Schmid has to peace so badly that he then
peace inside his body.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
Yes, just like toxic poisoning of urine within his body,
And I remember being like.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
Is that a thing? Could that really happen internally?
Speaker 3 (38:32):
You could be inside yourself.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
There's no way.
Speaker 3 (38:34):
Well, I could break down the mechanics, but it'll be
grow some disgusting and we'll have to cut it. Yeah,
I could break it down for you guys, if you
want to.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
Be inside your body. And then he just literally pieced himself.
Speaker 3 (38:46):
He didn't literally piece himself. It just at that point,
At that.
Speaker 1 (38:49):
Point, I can't believe everybody didn't just go, like give
the spot.
Speaker 3 (38:52):
At that point, I couldn't understand why he's he doesn't
realize he's in a parking lot.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
Just pee on the ground, yeah, pee anywhere?
Speaker 3 (38:59):
Well really, I was so confused by that, Like you're smid.
Speaker 2 (39:03):
He's very particular.
Speaker 3 (39:05):
Yeah, he rather piss his own pants.
Speaker 1 (39:06):
I guess it just happened. But the way he's sitting
to all like curled up.
Speaker 3 (39:12):
My favorite is with Nick decided he found a piece
of paper. He goes, look, it's got chocolate on it,
and he starts licking the.
Speaker 2 (39:17):
Chocolate like a child of a dirty rapper.
Speaker 3 (39:20):
Not a dirty rapper. I've had to stop my three
year old from doing that once upon a time.
Speaker 1 (39:23):
Yeah, well there's a lot about Nick Miller that feels
like a three year old sometimes.
Speaker 3 (39:27):
Absolutely, that's the sure person that loaf with Winston.
Speaker 1 (39:31):
Okay, so oh, and then Nick says that he regrets
the kiss, and that's when she's like, I'm out, I'm leaving.
Then he's like I'm out, I'm leaving right, and then
Schmid's down there right, and he's like, you better go
after and fix it. Because that was like a hurtful
thing to say.
Speaker 3 (39:47):
Yeah, pretty pretty hurtful. Yeah. But I found about his
pants though, when he did I know we're going backwards. Yeah,
they didn't dress his pants, right.
Speaker 1 (39:57):
I noticed that too, when one little circle, Yeah, like, no,
it didn't make sense what happened. He also, if you
had to pee that bad.
Speaker 3 (40:05):
Also, if the circles down here, that means.
Speaker 2 (40:08):
He wasn't he wasn't wearing the modesty pants.
Speaker 3 (40:11):
I mean that, boy, oh boy, got that. Got that.
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (40:20):
I do know what you're saying, super clearly.
Speaker 3 (40:23):
You get what I'm I do.
Speaker 1 (40:25):
Yeah, I think it was more just like they put
the water in the wrong spot. I'm just saying, and
they did it like in a terrible way. Nobody knows
what's really going on down there because all of you
guys were zipped up and tucked up and pad it up,
so nobody knows.
Speaker 3 (40:39):
But here's what I mean about how you pee inside
of yourself. Now we know because now we know he
he go down that way, so p inside yourself. You
when you tuck it, okay, just put it upside.
Speaker 1 (40:52):
Doctors are gonna call us, They're gonna we have doctors
in the DM being like, please don't say those things.
They're not true. Nothing's happening within your body. You would
go to the hospital.
Speaker 3 (41:02):
I digress.
Speaker 2 (41:03):
Oh yeah. Then Winston walks back in the loft.
Speaker 3 (41:05):
Yeah, and he's pissed off. He's letting the whole group know,
you know, today has been a day and he needs
a w he needs to win, and because everybody's having
sex around here. But he walked in and he saw
Jests and Schmid kissed and he's like, damn.
Speaker 2 (41:21):
Everybody, everybody's got it going on.
Speaker 3 (41:23):
He's like, except for me, and so I need I
need to win, and they agree.
Speaker 1 (41:27):
And the most classic LA thing happens where he gets
the spot, but all those spots are so sardine together
that you are now trapped.
Speaker 3 (41:34):
You're trapped and he can't get out.
Speaker 2 (41:36):
I know.
Speaker 1 (41:36):
Friends are bad parking spots, like at their apartments and
you have to like climb out the trunk because it's
tight because you don't know what car your neighbor has
next to you, and if they're just if it's too big.
Speaker 2 (41:47):
Then that's what the deal is. You got to climb
out the trunk.
Speaker 3 (41:49):
I don't want to park that bad. I don't want
to park.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
But did you?
Speaker 3 (41:54):
But now, here's the thing with these Teslas. If you
you can, if your car is boxed in, you can
hit a button. Not even Tesla's any car. Now, I
feel like you can hit a button. It'll back the
car out for you and then repark it. No, it'll
back it out for you so you can get in
and out.
Speaker 2 (42:08):
Oh, I see what you're saying.
Speaker 3 (42:09):
So you could like, if you know, you know you're
not gonna be able to get out, you hit the button.
It'll put itself in the spot for you.
Speaker 2 (42:15):
My car is not that fancy. I did not know
that that was.
Speaker 3 (42:17):
Rolls Choice is half this feature.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
I have a boy's choice, not a Rolls choice, some
boy's choice.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
It's a bicycle. I just have a little bicycle. I
ran around town. I called the Boys' choice. Leave me alone,
Somebody give me a car.
Speaker 3 (42:31):
Oh yeah, this this podcast is sponsored by Lamborghini of
Beverly Hills.
Speaker 2 (42:38):
Oh wait, there's this moment that happened. We missed the moment.
Speaker 1 (42:41):
Oh my gosh, I even written here because I freaked
out about it right before, Like Schmid's character busts in
and Jess is carrying the fish sticks. Yeah, and they're
about to get after it. You think, oh my god,
it's happening.
Speaker 2 (42:59):
Now.
Speaker 1 (42:59):
They tried to this whole episode from that toothbrush moment.
It's about to happen, and she drops the box and
he goes, you dropped your fish sticks, And all it
reminded me of is in Dirty Dancing, one of my
favorite movies. There's the I carried a watermelon moment. I'm
this iconic moment of being like awkward and like you
(43:20):
just can't resist this incredible thing and person in front
of you and you don't know what to do is
you're doing something weird with a thing at this fish
sticks moment. But that's in the pilot of New Girl,
and I was like, holy smokes.
Speaker 2 (43:31):
It's like a second bear Dirty.
Speaker 1 (43:34):
Dancing references, and I feel like the fish sticks and
the watermelon thing they live in the same world.
Speaker 3 (43:40):
We have another segment called where's the Dirty Dancing reference? Hannah,
these aren't real, These aren't real. Theories had just now
I'm a.
Speaker 2 (43:49):
Fan of this show that we are rewatching.
Speaker 1 (43:51):
I just happened to have also been on it, and
I'm telling you there seems to be a tie in
between that moment and the dropping the fish sticks and
then the tension felt very dirty dancing just in the
pilot of New Girl. I'm just putting it out there.
If you agree with me, say it loudly. Thank you
so much.
Speaker 3 (44:08):
It was gonna be six people.
Speaker 2 (44:10):
Also, remember they did say this very loudly during the episode.
The b just be crazy.
Speaker 1 (44:14):
Yeah, and I would like to see when it comes
to this moment, I might be a little crazy on it,
but I'm sticking with it.
Speaker 3 (44:19):
Yeah, they were talking about you.
Speaker 2 (44:22):
I'll take it.
Speaker 3 (44:24):
Let's go to break. When we come back, I feel
like we should probably mess around. Come and we are back, Hannah.
I learned a lot about you today. I learned that
you don't know about mail anatomy.
Speaker 1 (44:44):
Didn't you know anything about the ken dolling of mail
actors for network comedies. That's I definitely need to see
what these underpants look like.
Speaker 3 (44:53):
I would say, I'll send you pictures, but then that's sexting.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
You could send me any sort of crazy illicit thing
and it would sell. Never between us be considered sex sick.
Speaker 2 (45:04):
I would just be like a child got hold of
his fall.
Speaker 1 (45:06):
There's nothing that would ever ever read to me that way.
You can send me a picture of these underpaints.
Speaker 3 (45:12):
I'm gonna I'm gonna post the underpants online. I haven't
they're in my room. I'm going to take a picture.
I'm going to put it on on ig and just
see if any fans identify with it. I'm not gonna
say nothing. I'm just going to say if you know,
you know that's right, and then we'll see what they say.
Speaker 2 (45:26):
We'll see what they We'll.
Speaker 3 (45:26):
See they won't all right handle this mess around.
Speaker 2 (45:29):
Let's go, babe, Yeah, babe.
Speaker 3 (45:33):
Have you had the parking spot argument with the roommate before,
because I know you talked about how you had your
own situation going on.
Speaker 1 (45:39):
The only time I've had like a parking spot situation
and a situation, and I wasn't an argument. I guess
there was just somebody that shared the shed with my car.
Hey man leave, there was the shed door would open,
he would leave. There was no conversation, we never spoken.
Speaker 2 (45:58):
We were ships passing in the night.
Speaker 3 (46:00):
I could have been your future husband.
Speaker 2 (46:02):
How did you read well funny story.
Speaker 3 (46:07):
I've never had that argument with anyone because all the
apartments that I've lived in had assigned parking.
Speaker 2 (46:13):
Right, well technically so did I.
Speaker 3 (46:16):
Yeah, so I've never been he just self assigned, had
gates right, you know what I mean? Fancy, No, I wasn't.
This is when like I was struggling, they just the
apartments happened to have a parking spot. And then and.
Speaker 2 (46:29):
Then did you ever have to do tandem?
Speaker 1 (46:32):
That was the nightmare to get into a tandem parking
spot situation, because then it's like something, come down back
the car, you gotta go, You're gonna get your you
have to do that.
Speaker 2 (46:41):
It's so annoying.
Speaker 3 (46:42):
I don't think I ever had to do that. I
I've you know what I have had to do. Once
I bought a house, my garage was half filled with
storage stuff and then it be a two car garage,
but only space for my car. But then my brother,
I mean my brother lived together. He would park behind me.
So there times when he would come home after me
and park behind me, and then I can't get out,
(47:04):
so I have to Hey, can you come move your car?
Speaker 2 (47:06):
That's what I'm talking about. Is so annoying.
Speaker 1 (47:08):
The moving of the cars, or then you have to
do the car and then get your car out and
then repark their car again.
Speaker 3 (47:13):
Yeah, that I've had to do that before, that first
world problem. Okay, does Schmid's logic of him having to
kiss Jess make any sense?
Speaker 1 (47:24):
No, But I think they also feel like they have
run out of road and resisting each other, and he's like,
I don't want this living situation to get super weird,
and so they're just trying anything. So I can see
how in the situation to be like, fine, I'm surprised
because it's the New Girl universe that they didn't make
(47:45):
it weirder and then go, well, now that Schmid would.
Speaker 3 (47:48):
Say, nick, yeah, that.
Speaker 2 (47:52):
Was the real thing.
Speaker 1 (47:54):
I was just surprised it didn't have that extra level
of nick and being like I'm not going to kiss
you man.
Speaker 3 (48:00):
Yeah, that's when you say that out loud. It feels
like it's something that was actually shot, or at least
Max threw that out there and they just didn't use it.
Speaker 2 (48:10):
I would not be surprised.
Speaker 3 (48:11):
Yeah, I think that would have happened.
Speaker 2 (48:12):
He'd be like, no, nails, Like, what are we talking about?
Speaker 3 (48:16):
That that my mouth?
Speaker 2 (48:18):
That's right?
Speaker 3 (48:19):
God, that's funny. Yeah for me, I don't think it
makes any sense. I think it makes it.
Speaker 1 (48:23):
But I can see how when you're desperate, you know,
just like you suggest a weird thing.
Speaker 2 (48:30):
We've all done that thing. We're like, why do that?
Speaker 3 (48:32):
Hey, because isn't that the isn't it the second time
Schmidt uh huh tried to He tried to kiss it
on the first season right on twenty nine. Well, the
story of the fifty Yeah.
Speaker 2 (48:43):
When they had the birthday party.
Speaker 3 (48:44):
Yeah, yeah, you're out there. I feel like Schmid was
trying to get it in with Jess this whole time. Sorry,
but you were.
Speaker 2 (48:55):
Yes, yes, the world is a disaster.
Speaker 3 (48:58):
Okay, So Winston go want a mission to find a condom?
You got any funny condom stories that you can share?
Speaker 2 (49:03):
Any funny condoms?
Speaker 3 (49:04):
You don't wear them? Man, She's like, what is that?
Speaker 2 (49:08):
You know? I feel like you have funny condom stories.
Speaker 3 (49:14):
Yeah, I have a child, so I think she got
here condom let's see funny condom stories. I don't know
if I have any funny condom stories, because honestly, safe
sex is a real thing and it's and it's a
non laughing matter. So if you are out there, you
or anyone you know are struggling to find a condom.
Please their resources in whatever city you're in. It'll help
(49:38):
you find customers the more you know. Or or you
can just throw some hand sanitizer on that thing.
Speaker 2 (49:47):
Or a baseball hat.
Speaker 1 (49:48):
The suggestions, suggestions, it's a desperate.
Speaker 3 (49:55):
The plastic bag, the plastic bag.
Speaker 2 (49:59):
I'll plastic bag.
Speaker 3 (50:01):
I had a friend of mine told me he when
he lost his virginity, he was so dumb. He didn't
have a condom, so he he put on a grocery bag.
Speaker 2 (50:11):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (50:12):
What But that's what he said, and he had sex
and the girls like, is this gonna protect me?
Speaker 2 (50:21):
He was like, yeah, why, this is why he was.
Why needs to exist in the school system. What a.
Speaker 3 (50:36):
Sex education is real, y'all. We got to keep that back,
Get that back in the schools they take out the school.
Speaker 2 (50:41):
I don't know, but it feels like it should. There
should be more of it.
Speaker 3 (50:45):
Well, folks, that was a great show. Parking Spot. Please
follow us on Instagram, the mess Around Pod. You know,
go out there and get some merch. You know, I
get a coffee, merch.
Speaker 1 (51:03):
Coffee cozy, this sweater. I feel like I'm were like
a little blanky it's all cozy inside.
Speaker 3 (51:08):
I just an idea. What Because I'm a genius, I
just went off in my head. What the mess around condoms?
Boom boom, somebody call, call Trojans, call who you gotta call. Oh,
that's gonna be so dope.
Speaker 2 (51:22):
I cannot right now.
Speaker 3 (51:24):
It's gonna be so dope. The mess around condom.
Speaker 1 (51:26):
I mean, I feel like if somebody pulled out a
condom and it said the word mess around on it,
I'd be like, I do feel like this should be
the most trusted situation.
Speaker 3 (51:34):
No, they're not gonna work. Yeah, yeah, it's gonna be
very very convey.
Speaker 2 (51:41):
It's gonna look like children. I got a present for you,
Swiss cheez condoms.
Speaker 3 (51:46):
It'll be fine. It'll be fine. Make those.
Speaker 2 (51:49):
We're gonna work on the branding.
Speaker 3 (51:50):
Let's make that happen. If you, if you're a condom
manufacturer out there, listen, this is a big podcast.
Speaker 2 (51:57):
Man.
Speaker 3 (51:57):
You don't help us out here.
Speaker 2 (52:00):
When is he you? Next week?
Speaker 1 (52:02):
Ten infinities and it will not be about modesty underpans
or ten made.
Speaker 3 (52:08):
Condoms which you can buy at our merch site right now.
The mess around condoms. We got lambskin, sheepskin, nose skin,
you know what I'm saying. Hey, it's a good idea.
That was the mess around. This has been an iHeartMedia production.
(52:28):
Our executive producer is Joel Monique. Our engineer and editor
is Mia Taylor. Additional production from Daniel Goodman, Wendy Heisler,
and Kyle Shevrin. Our theme song was written and composed
by Ronald Jukebox Jackson. So We're Gonna catch you next
time by
Hosts And Creators
Lamorne Morris
Hannah Simone
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