306: Keaton

Hey Loft Mates! This is the one where Jess throws a Halloween Party and Schmidt's not invited. Plus, the rest of the loft learns Schmidt's mom's been cosplaying Michael Keaton via email to help bring a positive male role model in his life. Jess, Nick, and Winston reactivate the potato-based email to mentor a douche-jar-worthy Schmidt once again. Also, Taye Diggs is here and he's super flexible. 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Oh, Hannah, Hannah Simon, how are you? You know.

Speaker 2 (00:25):
It's going to be a ride today on the podcast
because I haven't had coffee in a month and last
night I just got back very late at night from
a trip to a wedding in Texas, Texas, and woke
up early to do the podcast.

Speaker 1 (00:40):
So are you are you in Texas? Are you at home?

Speaker 2 (00:45):
I'm at home, but I'm on a ride now. I
haven't had something when you've like cut something out of
your like diet for a long time, and then you're like,
this coffee is hitting like crazy. You know what? The
first thought I had in my head, which is funny
wearing a hat today, The first thought I had about
what I wanted to ask you today, this is what
the coffee is doing to my brain, was how long

(01:05):
from when you step out of the shower does it
take for your hair to be completely dry? Seconds? Minutes?

Speaker 1 (01:15):
I would say. I would say minutes because my I
have very short hair. Yeah, I know, I dry it
off with a towel. Do you not take a towel
to it first.

Speaker 2 (01:24):
But you just wake up? Yeah? No, I took a
towel to it.

Speaker 1 (01:27):
Yes, it's pretty quick because I do a whole thing.
I put like some palmade in there. I brush it,
I'll stick on a dew rag, so like maybe.

Speaker 2 (01:34):
Three minutes, five minutes before it's fully dry.

Speaker 1 (01:37):
Before it's fully dry, I'm going to say like eight minutes.

Speaker 2 (01:41):
See, I'm in the hours situation. So for me to
do this podcast this morning and to wash my hair
because I was on like a you know, grimy plane ride,
I had to wake up hours before to like wash
my hair and then dry it. And I was like,
I bet you Lamorn could take a sh shower five
minutes before the podcast and his hair would look perfect

(02:03):
and be ultra and great. And I was like, man,
these inquities.

Speaker 1 (02:07):
I'm gonna start a shower before the podcast.

Speaker 2 (02:11):
I can smell you from here.

Speaker 1 (02:12):
I know I did not show the neighborhoods away and
with my with my hair. When my hair is not
feeling right, I just think a hat on and today
is a very special hat. B B four the bear.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
I can't see that it's too tiny, So Chicago Bears,
you know Bears, just how I feel like you low
key missed the bear segment.

Speaker 1 (02:37):
No, I just really if you know me, I'm a
troll and I like I like making fun of people
and mocking people, and I would prefer people do the
same back to me. But you and this bear thing,
you know, I love the ups and downs of it
to roller coaster.

Speaker 2 (02:56):
This is one of the most memorable episodes. I feel
like we're going to dive into today. Keaton. Yes, Keaton,
we did a lot of Halloween episodes. It seemed to
be it feels like Halloween and Thanksgiving where Liz Merriweathers
maybe favorite holidays or something.

Speaker 1 (03:13):
You could see why because.

Speaker 2 (03:14):
We did several and they were all bangers. And this
one was written by Dave Finkel and Brett Bear.

Speaker 1 (03:22):
Yes, directed by David Katzenberg.

Speaker 2 (03:26):
Yeah, I mean this is just like Murderer's Row here
of who who did this episode?

Speaker 1 (03:31):
So?

Speaker 2 (03:31):
Uh, do you want to dive into our little recap
and then we'll we'll get into it.

Speaker 1 (03:38):
Okay. Imagine spooky music is playing under we lay that
in there now, and in order to get Schmidt out
of his funk and more importantly, to not attend their party,
jess Nick and Winston pretend to be Michael Keaton. That's right, Batman,
Schmid's childhood hero. Theres leading to Schmidt and CC seeing

(04:02):
each other for the first time since the breakup, and
Schmidt moving out of the loft into Apartment four C,
which is across the hall. Don't gape. So that's it.
We're gonna go to break We'll be right back, and

(04:25):
we are a baja hack. So let's dive right in, Hannah,
Like you said, this is a memorable episode just before
we start. Some of the things that I remember. I
remember this fish costume. I remember just in fact, I
remember that more than I remember anything about the episode,
because I would see gifts of that and I would
I would always go what episode was that? When he

(04:47):
was wearing that ridiculous ass costume, you know what I mean?
And I just for some reason, I for some reason,
that stuck into my head because it was so silly.

Speaker 2 (04:58):
Yeah, the costumes were really silly. I was actually hoping
for a super silly costume for CC. But it was
like a leopard skin bra and like a mini skirt.
And like, I'm not someone myself who does like sexy
Halloween costumes. I feel like Halloween costumes should be like
silly and fun. Yeah, So I was like, all right,

(05:20):
this is what we're doing. But it did make sense
for storylines because if you see your ex looking flai.

Speaker 1 (05:28):
Yeah, that's true, think some of your choices. I don't
know if you do. I don't know.

Speaker 2 (05:35):
No, you don't have a moment sometimes if your ex
walks by and looks like so gorgeous, like the hottest
they've ever looked, and then you just go like.

Speaker 1 (05:42):
I gonts me, she left me, broke my heart?

Speaker 2 (05:50):
Go ahead, you know what, like the the beginning of
all those really good Jodasy songs, Oh you know what,
it would just do that low talk first and then
and they were just like hit some crazy high note
and stay.

Speaker 1 (06:02):
There, or like h town town Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (06:07):
Okay, so I told you this coffee is going to
have me all over the map. Listen when you guys
just jump into the comments. No, I'm trying my best.

Speaker 1 (06:15):
Okay, Well we'll get started. We'll break this down on
a basic level. An apartment for C just holds a
secret meeting, right, well, you know what, hold on and
me go back. Yeah, So an apartment four C just
has a secret meeting with Winston and Nick to talk
about Schmidt and how she's extremely worried about him. You know,
he hasn't been the working days and he just sits

(06:37):
on the couch eating cold cuts. Winston and Nick both
believe that this apartment is haunted with the coast of
the previous edit who died in there on the toilet.
There's always something funny about It's not funny. I don't
want to say that's funny when you hear stories about
people dying on a toilet, Like it's just like the right,

(07:00):
like that's on the toilet.

Speaker 2 (07:02):
Yeah, did you not know that?

Speaker 1 (07:04):
Nah? I don't be like researching Elvis.

Speaker 2 (07:06):
That's why it's the whole thing, Like Elvis died on
the throne. Oh yeah, you've never heard that before. That's
the only person I know that's like ever died on
the toilet. Saying this is the copy playing tricks on
my brain.

Speaker 1 (07:23):
No, I mean, I trust you it's correct. Said that
is correct?

Speaker 2 (07:28):
All right.

Speaker 1 (07:28):
See there.

Speaker 2 (07:29):
I wondered if it was like if like Dave or
Brett were like low key making it like Elvis reference,
if you're going to get haunted Elvis haunting you is
not the worst.

Speaker 1 (07:43):
Oh not it all It depends on which Elvis like drunk,
sweaty Elvis. Nah, don't haunt me like cool Elvis, who's
like giving you cool advice. I'll say, you.

Speaker 2 (07:53):
Come it.

Speaker 1 (07:54):
I'm like, should I go talk to that girl?

Speaker 2 (07:56):
He's like, oh, baby, Elvis references are my new bad lord.
Where's a whole You better go find an Elvis tuk
to wear me?

Speaker 1 (08:11):
Okay, So Jess, you know, Jess, obviously the whole gang
they missed. Here's the thing Schmidt when he gets into
these modes, it's so funny. It's so strange, but it's
so funny. Right, she misses the old Schmidt. And she's
saying that she can't have him around because she's throwing
a party. And Nick is like, you know, I'll talk
to him. He goes to try to talk to him.

(08:33):
And what's Schmid doing. He's on the couch. He's watching
Obama speak and he says nothing matters, and he's eating turkey.
And then he does something that this is a this
is like a this is one of those things that
black people think. And I could I could be speaking
for myself here, I'm gonna generalize here for a second.

(08:53):
We used to think that this is how white people
ate mayonnaise. He just takes the bottle and squirts it
in his mouth for some reason, just a few.

Speaker 2 (09:02):
People, and they all are of the Caucasian descent who like,
like a jar of mayo and a spoon is like
a preferred consumption.

Speaker 1 (09:11):
I will say, now what now, taste wise, I've ever
tried it, but what it goes great on a sandwich? Yeah,
you know, but I what is that a real thing?
Or is this just us being racist?

Speaker 2 (09:22):
We are making a mass generalization because when I was
so there's a whole movie on it Undercover Brother, where
Eddie Griffin like the whole.

Speaker 1 (09:31):
Kryptonite is the mayonnaise and it's like the whole thing
that you know, I can't quite get out of my heads.
When I saw it, I was like, oh that, Why
is that weird? Isn't that?

Speaker 2 (09:41):
Maybe this was just you know, we got to a
season finally where the writers were like, we've got to
balance out these little micro stereotypes we were enforcing, and
we're just gonna balance it out, and we're gonna make
Schmidt eat mayo straight up. Maybe that's just a balance
in the universe of New Girl.

Speaker 1 (09:58):
Yeah, maybe I'll tell you. Yeah, Anyway, it was disgusting,
you know. Meanwhile, with my character is carving a pumpkin, right,
which I did recently, which is, uh, you know, it's
the first year I actually carved pumpkin. This is very difficult.

Speaker 2 (10:16):
It's difficult. They give you that little set with the
teeny knife and the teeny little saw and you're trying
to do it, and you're like, this is genuine. How
are children supposed to do this?

Speaker 1 (10:25):
Yeah? I was like, at didn't give a moment. I'm
gonna cut my finger off, that's right. I was like,
this is crazy. And my daughter kept wanting to come
up next to a while I'm like carving. I'm like, no,
wait baby, wait baby.

Speaker 2 (10:34):
But because I don't know carving a pumpkin, You're like,
what are we doing?

Speaker 1 (10:39):
Yeah? Like why did I She don't care.

Speaker 2 (10:41):
That's when you just like get a sharpie, just draw
on it. That's fine. It puts some like candles around it,
and you're fine, Yeah, well we just solved Halloween. Next.

Speaker 1 (10:50):
Yeah, I know. Well, Waits is carving a pumpkin, Schmick
grabs it, smashes it, and it's getting ridiculous, and uh, Jess,
she wants to talk about the party. M but Schmidt,
you know, he's aware, he knows that she doesn't want
him there, so he says he'll just stay at home.
But oh wait, casa.

Speaker 2 (11:10):
Diabolical. He's so diabolical.

Speaker 1 (11:12):
I mean when he gets on these mastered plans, I
think it's one of the funniest things.

Speaker 2 (11:17):
I think it's because Max just like doing it so much.
Oh he loved being a little like bit of a
bad boy.

Speaker 1 (11:23):
Oh yeah, Now here's the funny part. This is the
this is where things get a little interesting. Winstead he
you know, he's like, hey, listen, I think there is
one option whenever Schmid gets like this. We got a
we got a remedy for this situation. But it is
tricky and Nick doesn't want to do it. Nick doesn't

(11:44):
want to be involved with this, you know. Winston tells him, Hey, man,
I think it's time for Schmid to get a letter
from an old friend. Yeah, and immediately he's like, Nope,
can't go there. And then the flashback of like, I
wonder how many times this has happened to me, Like
my mom has done something like this and I don't
know about it. Just straight up lie she sent him

(12:06):
letters from Michael Keaton as Batman to cheer him up.

Speaker 2 (12:11):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (12:11):
And obviously Nick and Winston carried on that tradition.

Speaker 2 (12:15):
For years, and my favorite thing is the letters would
appear anytime he had a problem, like bullies makes sense,
school work makes sense, public.

Speaker 1 (12:26):
Erections which is always great for the viewer.

Speaker 2 (12:31):
I actually didn't realize. I was talking to some friends
mixed gender group, and this came up because we watched
some teenage boys go by and they were just like,
we're just chatting by being teenagers and remembering, and then
all the guys in the group were talking about, like
not in a funny way, like how one of the
worst things about being a teenage boy, which for absolutely

(12:54):
no reason. Yeah, in public or at school, you would
just get these yeah, hello sirs.

Speaker 1 (13:03):
But they're not. They're not for no reason. Like I
can give you a list of reasons.

Speaker 2 (13:06):
If you could touch the edge of the desk wrong
standing up and you're like, well that's happened.

Speaker 1 (13:10):
Right, they could be Uh, your teacher could walk in
and you're like, oh, okay, Uh, the draft could come by,
you know what I mean, Like can you answer this question? Oh,
I'm excited, you know what I mean? Like that's that
was that was That's a real thing.

Speaker 2 (13:24):
They should do kind of like public erection sensitivity training.
I feel like to teachers because of a kid, you know,
like you'd have to stand up at school to like
read something or do something. I'm like, why do you
like can't? And so I feel like there should be
like an age range where like just just let the
boys stay seated. I feel they're ready to stand up.

Speaker 1 (13:45):
Yeah, I feel like that right now. This generation is
very blunt and and I feel like I can't. I'm
hard right now.

Speaker 2 (13:54):
Sorry, miss Jackson, Miss Jackson, Okay, well we solve that.
Moving on.

Speaker 1 (14:02):
Yes, So, so he gets these letters, right and they decide,
you know what, or Jess asked if she can use
Michael Keaton again, and Nick he's not for it. He
just won't do it. And Nick, obviously he hates lying
to his best friend. They leave the room and they
leave Jess alone and obviously just does just gonna do

(14:25):
what just gonna do? And she she emailed them right now. Meanwhile,
we're at CEC's place. CC. Let's talk about this for
a second. Is this the first time we've seen your
place look like this? Your place was a disaster?

Speaker 2 (14:43):
Disaster you feel like it. I feel like we started
to now the second season kind of like push a
little deeper into CEC's life this way. Yeah, that she
just doesn't have it all together.

Speaker 1 (14:54):
Yeah, yeah, you definitely didn't. What I found to be
very interesting about it was like it was the next
day and you were still on the couch, almost like
you just finished drinking.

Speaker 2 (15:07):
Yeah, it was I was like, wait, don't you remember
those days where you're just like on a bender and
then you're just like you don't know how to get
off the bus.

Speaker 1 (15:14):
No, I'm a professional one.

Speaker 2 (15:18):
I do remember them struggling in hair and makeup because
I have very stereotypical Indian hair, so it's great hair,
and it, uh, it kind of just always looks like
this kind of nice, and they were trying to make
it look like a disaster and they were just like, no,

(15:41):
it's like she needs to look a wreck. The hair
needs to be all over the place, and they were
trying to like tease it out and pull it like
they were trying all these things. I remember Aaron O'Malley
coming over and being like she needs to look a
lot worse, like you guys have to make this happen.
And then my hair would just right before we'd roll
like fall really pretty, and I was like I don't.

(16:03):
I don't know. Hair. Acting is not something I'm really
in control of. I don't know how to help you.

Speaker 1 (16:07):
Guys. It's not your strongest suit now.

Speaker 2 (16:09):
My strongest suit. No, the hair, the hair is it's
a terrible actor. My hair.

Speaker 1 (16:13):
Yeah, mine can look bad. I'm ok and I know
I know that.

Speaker 2 (16:16):
And the whole eight minutes you have to manipulate it.

Speaker 1 (16:19):
Oh my gosh. Okay, So she goes into your place
and she asks if you're if if if CC's coming
to the party, but she.

Speaker 2 (16:30):
Doesn't want to run into the X. She doesn't want
to do it, which I understand that makes perfect sense.

Speaker 1 (16:36):
I don't mind running into an X. I don't mind
you though.

Speaker 2 (16:40):
I have had like you're you are like pretty good
terms with people.

Speaker 1 (16:45):
I think. So there's only one X that I'm not.
But I wouldn't mind, you know, running into her and
just being like boo.

Speaker 2 (16:53):
You know, so now you need to do that Halloween
party so you can make all this happen.

Speaker 1 (17:01):
Yeah, make that moment.

Speaker 2 (17:04):
All right? So they get a pinky promise he's not
going to be there. I've taken care of it, which
is like, like you gotta have to follow through with
that you can't just then jump scare your best friend
with an ex at a party, especially when you can
see your best friend is like in it. Mm hmm,
all right, steaks are high.

Speaker 1 (17:22):
Steaks are steaks are very high. I guess she walks
into the loft. She's got this big balluo candy. She
just went t treating. And just then Schmid walks in
and lets everybody knows that he changed his mind about
the party because he he's been emailing with an old friend.
He convinced him that he needs to give Cec some space.

(17:44):
And Schmidt reveals to the group it's Michael Keaton. Yeap
out of just acting surprised about it and uh wins
to the nick and.

Speaker 2 (17:53):
Like shit, this made me have a question for you.
Who was your first like famous friend, way more famous
than you that you kind of felt like, oh man,
when they hear who my friend is, like, it's gonna
give me instant like clout and cool points.

Speaker 1 (18:10):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 2 (18:11):
You know what I'm saying, where you're just like I
know this person the numbers on my phone. This is crazy.

Speaker 1 (18:16):
Well, I would say Jelil White was the probably. I'd
say Jalil White, Like.

Speaker 2 (18:21):
Every time you say, Jelttle White, I go straight back
to El Carmen into the worst moment of my life.

Speaker 1 (18:26):
Oh oh, it was that when you ripped my shirt open?
Is that that moment?

Speaker 2 (18:32):
That's bout?

Speaker 1 (18:33):
I just bought? This shirt was so lovely. It was lovely,
but I don't know what just Julil's there, You just
go what is this shirt?

Speaker 2 (18:45):
You just said, well, you know what it was.

Speaker 1 (18:47):
You thought there was snap buttons, snap buttons.

Speaker 2 (18:49):
I got excited. It was a snap button shirt. I
saw you. I thought it would be really funny. I
at that time did not know Jilliel more than Rkle.
I didn't know, and I was huge fan of that show.

Speaker 1 (19:02):
So I was like, oh, he's this be funny.

Speaker 2 (19:04):
He's a funny guy. And so I thought I would
snap button your shirt and ripped it with all my strength,
and instead buttons went flying across this bar and it
was like an l like El Luchador kind of bar.

Speaker 1 (19:21):
Right, they have all the mass El Carmen.

Speaker 2 (19:23):
Yeah, El Carmen one of my favorite bars ever on
Third Street in La And I and the look on
your face because I had just destroyed, yeah, in one second,
this brand new, expensive shirt and I had no idea,
and then I was like, I must immediately go home.
This is the most embarrassing situation. So Jalie was your

(19:44):
first like little braggadocious moment of having like a fancy friend.

Speaker 1 (19:48):
Yeah, it was. It was interesting because he was so nice,
Like when I first met him, he was very nice.
He would, you know, give me advice on things. You
just helped me navigate my way through through through Los Angeles,
and I thought that was rather cool of him him. Yeah, yeah,
I would say I would say it was it was
probably him.

Speaker 2 (20:09):
What about you, I don't I don't know, to be
honest with you, I honestly think probably When we started
doing this show and I was like entering Zoe's number
into my phone, I was like, wow, this is like
you know, this is like real, Like it was. It's

(20:31):
a really weird like crossover moment of art and life
where I'm like pretending to be your best friend and
then we are growing like this real friendship. Yeah, And
it was like a really like there were so many
moments on the show where I felt that where it
was like there was like this weird like parallel stream
going of art and life happening at the same time. Yeah,

(20:55):
and that was definitely one of them. I was like, wow,
so maybe Zoe.

Speaker 1 (20:59):
Is the movie Zoe. Maybe so I thought you want
to say kanye't but yeah.

Speaker 2 (21:03):
Still have. Oh that's not true. I met Kanye once.

Speaker 1 (21:06):
Oh okay, just once.

Speaker 2 (21:09):
He dropped his hat. He dropped his hat. This story
is also ridiculous. I've told you this story. I just
moved to La I was dating somewhere the time, and
he was He walked by down the street like one
in the afternoon with Amber Rose at the time and
his tuk that looks like it was dropped out of
his back pocket, and my boyfriend at the time, like

(21:29):
a excited tiny child that had found like hidden lollipops,
got up, freaked out, ran over, picked up the hat
and like bowed down like out of Bridgerton and was like,
oh yay, you your head. And Kanye was just like

(21:49):
thanks and then walked off. And then he came back
and was like flushed and has told the story forever.
And it was his reaction that makes me remember the story,
not so much the fact that it was Kanye. Hmm,
I get it all right, Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
Back to the episode.

Speaker 1 (22:10):
You know what I love about this moment. You know,
when Schmid leaves Nick and Winston, they tell Jess that
she has no idea the kind of worms she's just opened, right,
and you know, Nick goes, you know, they have no
idea how to you know, how he would react if
it were if it were real. It's a real Truman
Show situation. It's Winston. It's like, yeah, which part are

(22:32):
you talking about? Like, yeah, that the middle. He's like, no,
I'm not convinced you'd see this. I feel like I've
done that before. But I'm like people talk about back
in the day when people used to talk about Star Wars,
I would go, yeah, yeah, I know, man, it's crazy,
or when people would make friends references like that's a
Chandler move. I will go, sell, Chandler, that's crazy.

Speaker 2 (22:52):
Never seen because sometimes it's easier than explaining I've never
seen it, and then they have the same reaction the
whole time, and you're just like, I'm just tell us
I haven't seen it, so you can have this whole reaction,
but like, yeah, just like moving on, I change, yeah,
moving on. So I'm just gonna be like, yeah, yeah, totally, totally.

Speaker 1 (23:10):
I do that all the time.

Speaker 2 (23:10):
I feel like, yeah, I can't deal with a conversation
about this thing that I still don't know about, so exactly.

Speaker 1 (23:20):
So there's all this back and forth about the issues
of why. I mean, we spent a lot of time
in this episode breaking down like why this is a problem,
you know, you know, the college dorm situation where Schmid's
confused because in ninety five Keaton City had never been
in Nicaragua, you know what.

Speaker 2 (23:35):
I mean, getting caught in the lie, a long lie,
getting caught in a long line. That's hard, it's delicate,
and she has no idea all the little lies he's
told to build up this particular Keaton.

Speaker 1 (23:48):
So she's like, okay, let's just keep sending them. Then
just trying to like backtrack and and and back, you know,
email her way out of the situation so she can
get the laptops and another email from Keaton. And then
they go to Schmid's room to find find him on
the bed eating a block of cheese, and he lets
them know that he's said because you know, he left

(24:09):
him again because he's on vacation.

Speaker 2 (24:14):
You know.

Speaker 1 (24:15):
Yeah, anyway, this is uh, this is this is again
back to depressed Schmidt, which I I could watch. I
could probably watch an entire season of this of like
just a really depressed Max green Field and all the
shenanigans that he all the bits that he would do. So,
you know, we cut back to Jess Nick and Winston

(24:36):
there across the hall again. In four c Nick puts
on the Batman mask, this really bootleg plastic makeshift Batman mask.
I feel like he would have done easier to just
go to the store and grab one.

Speaker 2 (24:50):
But they all agree, Channel Keaton, he's getting into character.
He's got to get in the right head space to
get back in it to make sure that he can
save the situation because it's a delicate mental health moment
for our sweechman.

Speaker 1 (25:05):
Any reason why he's doing it because he hasn't get
into the mindset. You go to get into that mindset,
you need inspiration.

Speaker 2 (25:10):
And then I keep talking, keep talking, keep talking.

Speaker 1 (25:14):
M h. All of a sudden, think about a picture
of a brown bear.

Speaker 2 (25:23):
There we go, there we go, ye.

Speaker 1 (25:26):
A brown bear. That one That one felt so intentional,
that one felt you know what, That one felt like
It felt like we had already been recording this podcast,
and they went.

Speaker 2 (25:35):
Back time travel Bear wrote the episode putting an intentional bear.
You showed up in a bear's tuke and everybody went,
Hannah needs to bring that bear segment back for when
we do season four.

Speaker 1 (25:47):
For all those Americans out there is a hat that's
what they call like a beanie in the Canadian world. Better.

Speaker 2 (25:54):
But also what's crazy is tuke is spelled t o
q u e.

Speaker 1 (25:59):
Of course it is you guys, your cues. Uh So,
Jess reads the email. Courage is not the absence of fear,
but the triumph over it. Nick says he stole that
part from Nelson Mandela, but he didn't have the part
about the penguin and the Riddler. Now at this point,

(26:21):
you know, Schmid gets the email, but then there's a
knock out the door. All right, it's a bunch of
kids trick or treating and he sends the email, but
he hears a chime across the hall.

Speaker 2 (26:32):
This made me I forgot about this part of the episode,
and I genuinely got stressed.

Speaker 1 (26:36):
Yeah okay, oh yeah, because imagine that. Imagine going through
that situation where you're about to catch where your all
of your things are being revealed before your very eyes
and It's like a weird.

Speaker 2 (26:49):
Part of your life was a lie so terrible.

Speaker 1 (26:55):
When I realized Michael Jordan might be my father, I
was like, what, Mom, you got some explain need to
do now. Schmid wakes his way over to Apartment four C,
opens the door and through the cracks of the door,
Oh what does he see Winston Nick Jess huddled around
a laptop and he hears them typing the email from Keaton.

(27:20):
They'll be right back. Bump bump, and we are back.
I love the fact that we found the bear, Hannah.
I do want to discuss this for a second.

Speaker 2 (27:38):
I honestly, here's the truth of it. You have mentioned
the bear and the bear segment so much more in
this season of our podcast than you ever did when
we had the segment in the first season of the podcast.
So I'm gonna say this. I told you I'm going
to do an episode at the end of this season

(27:58):
where I then do my pre We're going to consolidate
it all so all the fans can go there and
see it. But I feel like I'm like, with well
within my rights to like bring it back because I
think you low key hi key is it well?

Speaker 1 (28:12):
It was a staple, to be quite honest with you,
But it wasn't a staple for informational purposes for the audience.
It was a staple because the audience, and they all agree,
they loved mocking you and your failures to find the bear.
That was the thing. That's a fun game with the
kids out there is to is to like point fingers
at you and laugh.

Speaker 2 (28:32):
I feel like you're just referring to yourself and like
the royal we but you're calling it like the audience
and this is just you.

Speaker 1 (28:41):
Fans. I've spoken to the fans like I've had individual
conversations with everyone, everyone. Everyone. I respond to all the emails,
all the dms, and I go, yeah, Hannah is out
of her mind. She's crazy. Let's keep let's keep pointing
at her in laughing.

Speaker 2 (28:58):
I welcome it. Have a gig alo on me. Well, uh,
Halloween party, it's happening.

Speaker 1 (29:04):
Oh yeah, I love a good Halloween party.

Speaker 2 (29:06):
I would like to say, the last time we saw
each other, is that a Halloween party?

Speaker 1 (29:11):
Yes, it definitely was.

Speaker 2 (29:13):
Yeah, we went to Zoe's house.

Speaker 1 (29:14):
Yes, she throws a Halloween party.

Speaker 2 (29:17):
Oh, we had a great little Halloween party. And what
I just realized is I didn't dress with cat ears
at that Halloween party. I can't. We have no pictures.

Speaker 1 (29:27):
Yeah, we didn't really take took take a picture.

Speaker 2 (29:30):
Together, which is kind of ridiculous. Yeah, but I did
have cat ears as I just made fun of Ceci's costume.
I kind of low key channeled it. That's kind of funny.

Speaker 1 (29:39):
What was that? D was Mickey Mouse?

Speaker 2 (29:41):
We were Mickey Mouse, but you were basically just in
like pajamas.

Speaker 1 (29:45):
Yeah, it was like it was the easiest Mickey Mouse
costume to wear. It was like sweatpants that would like
Mickey Mouse sweatpants and also Mickey Mouse hoodie with some ears.
And my daughter had no tail house. No, I did
have a tail tail. Yeah, jokes on you fou.

Speaker 2 (29:59):
I had a tail, and if I had seen it,
I would.

Speaker 1 (30:01):
To it was velcro, so somebody probably did rip it off.
You lost your tail, like, I just don't know where
that tale is. And Zoe's lost and found.

Speaker 2 (30:11):
Okay, So now some great costumes. As always, the show
loved a pun when it came to the costumes on
New Girl Joey Ramona Quimby. Mmmmm, great costume and she
looked hellicute.

Speaker 1 (30:30):
I loved that. Next, Oh my god, he's a paper
mountain trash king.

Speaker 2 (30:37):
Just to make up when your people are like, what
are you when you look at yourself and you didn't
really fully do it, I gotta give you some title
to make it seem like you did something.

Speaker 1 (30:44):
That's nick and Winston walks in as David. That's so
funny to me, uh, especially the flashback. But he's like,
I've always been told, you know, people always tell me
that I looked that. We look atc and you flash
back and you realize he's talking to a guy behind
Winston who looks exactly like David Letterman.

Speaker 2 (31:06):
This is casting was always on point. Oh yeah, perfect casting.

Speaker 1 (31:12):
And then Schmid appears in his costume. He is a
public serpent, which the best that right there, wins I
was like that that that has stuck in my brain
for the longest time. So he says that he reread
some of Keaton's emails and changed his mind to wait
this further. He tells Winston that he loves his costume.

(31:35):
He thinks that Winston is Maya Angelou and then I
and then I and I thought about it, and I
was like, yeah, I can see that. I can see that.
I know why he thinks that.

Speaker 2 (31:49):
Oh my god, that was one of my favorite moments.
It caught me off guard. Okay, so Es is stress
sing mm hmmm, stressing because Ceci is about you show up,
and she made a pinky promise and as we know,
that is the highest level of a promise that you
can make.

Speaker 1 (32:06):
Oh, one hundred percent, one hundred percent.

Speaker 2 (32:09):
And Nick is stressing.

Speaker 1 (32:11):
Oh yeah, yeah, he's stressing because he's worried about Schmid
finding out going full Truman show. Winston again says he's
totally seen the movie. It's about the Civil War, right,
He couldn't be further off, but I get it, And
so they all run to the bat Cave aka four
c Now just tells Winston to head to CC's install

(32:34):
while she types another email and tries to fix the situation.
She chugs from the Battle of Whiskey. Meanwhile, Shmide is
standing right outside of four Seed listening to all of this.
Another email just saying that Keaton will meet him outside
of the apartment in thirty minutes. Just then a knock
at the door. More trick or treaters, this time Jesse's
a kid dressed as done doundone Batman. She gets the

(32:58):
bright idea, obviously, just gets a bright idea. And what's
crazy about these things is that whenever just puts on
like these costumes, they immediately turned into costumes that f
like Elpah's costume. I was like, that man is four
times your size, but when you put it on, it
fits perfectly.

Speaker 2 (33:16):
I will say. You know, she does have a sewing
machine in her room.

Speaker 1 (33:20):
All she probably went and hooked it up.

Speaker 2 (33:22):
Maybe she's just doing like a whole you know, alteration.
Probably didn't make the show cutting room floor and her
batman voice, oh yeah, it was terrible, terrible. So she
runs away just as Schmidt is coming. You know, Nick

(33:44):
tells Schmid to turn around because someone famous is out here.
You know.

Speaker 1 (33:50):
Oh, actually, I'm taking that back, Schmidt asks. He asked
Nick if he's seen anyone famous out because now that
the cat's out of the bag, Schmid's kind of playing
with them a little bit, kind of that's with them,
you know. And then and then just then just pops
out from the alleyway. I want to say, there was
smoke coming out of the alleyway too, right.

Speaker 2 (34:11):
I was like, they made it seem like one of
like it's like Gotham, right, it's like the New York
alleyway where there's just like weird. It's not smoke, it's
like there's that weird.

Speaker 1 (34:23):
Hot steam dirt are Yeah.

Speaker 2 (34:25):
Steam coming out definitely shouldn't be breathing in.

Speaker 1 (34:29):
As I've been through many alleyways, I used to hang
out in the back alleys and I never I don't
think I've ever seen that much steam or smoke coming
out of them out of the shadows like that. But
you know, we made it happen. It happened, so you know,
Jess begins obviously doing her batman voice. Schmid is trying

(34:51):
to make his way over to her, but she's you know,
Nick is holding him back. He doesn't want to get closer.
He don't want he doesn't want the secrets to get revealed. Uh.
He eventually breaks free and tells them that he's not stupid. Yeah,
he knows, and he's known the whole time. It is heartbreaking,
And he tells them that they should be ashamed of
themselves for hacking into the private email of one of

(35:13):
the nation's finest.

Speaker 2 (35:14):
Act best twists, because you really think he's smart enough?
Do you really think he's figured it out. Oh sweet
little heart, like he really still believes it. I love
that twist so much because you think it's like it's
over now. Yeah, you think so, but he's kept like
the hope alive.

Speaker 1 (35:32):
I love his email. I love Keaton Potatoes at aold Potatoes,
keat and Potatoes.

Speaker 2 (35:38):
I always wonder about things like that when they do
smart things like that with an email. Did the show
like immediately like get that email or did when it aired?
Did like a fan go and like grab it?

Speaker 1 (35:49):
There's only one way to find out, should.

Speaker 2 (35:51):
We sat and Potatoes?

Speaker 1 (35:53):
Yeah? Yes, yeah, let's mass email Keaton Potatoes. That's k
E A t O N p O t A t
O E s at aol dot com.

Speaker 2 (36:02):
Yeah, to see what you get back and then screen
grab it and tag us we want to know.

Speaker 1 (36:06):
Oh yeah, for sure. I hope. I hope a fan
has this email and I hope it would be so great.
And if they wrote back, Oh yeah, So what if
Keaton got it? What if that really is his email? No,
because at this point fans have already emailed it this episode.
This episode came out a decade.

Speaker 2 (36:27):
Please dm us if you have like, go to the
mess around pod on I G and d m our
account there and let us know if you ever sent
an email what happened.

Speaker 1 (36:37):
We want to know, We do want to know. But
Nick is trying to convince Schmid that it's been him
the whole time. You know, how else would he know
about specific things about Schmith's Schmid kissing the bus driver,
wanting to open up the Glassword boutique in Connecticut, or
about the wall hole. He's like, this is impossible. I've
been writing to Keaton since I was a kid. And

(36:58):
that's when Nick breaks it to him that it was
his mother's idea. You know, she was the one who
helped them with his public erections, which is embarrassing because
he drew pictures, which.

Speaker 2 (37:09):
Is also like such a like an interesting character moment.
I feel like for Nick because they could have kept
the lie going right, because they could have just been like,
I'm so sorry we did that. You know, Keaton is
still you know, your buddy. But I think the weight
of carrying it for so long because it's Nick who's
the one who tells the truth as opposed to being caught. Yeah, yeah,

(37:32):
time to grow in that friendship. Time to grow.

Speaker 1 (37:37):
But then you see each other Schmidt. You know, Ceci appears,
Schmidt turns to walk the other way, and Schmidt bumps
into a group of kids, and rightfully, so they beat
him up because he was very mean to well, he

(37:57):
was mean to the tricker treaders at the door, you know,
and kids can Kids are like owls. They never forget.
You know what I'm saying, You know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (38:04):
And that's a very famous saying, like owls. They never forget.

Speaker 1 (38:09):
Forget.

Speaker 2 (38:09):
Yeah, that's the most Winston thing you've ever said in
your life.

Speaker 1 (38:13):
Print that up in a T shirt.

Speaker 2 (38:15):
Put that on the T shirt, just an owl.

Speaker 1 (38:18):
Kids are like owls. They never forget.

Speaker 2 (38:22):
Truman shows about the Civil War, moving along, I know,
things have facts.

Speaker 1 (38:30):
Okay, so the kids start beating them up with their
bags of candy. Now in the bathroom, Jess is apologizing
to see c about Schmidt. Ce. She says, it's fine,
she's been running away and actually seeing Schmidt was some
much needed closure. Is that I could. I can understand that.
I can understand, like, you know, you haven't seen a
person a little bit and then you see them and

(38:51):
then you know, okay, now we're good, you.

Speaker 2 (38:53):
Know, Yeah, now we just got to like deal with
the feeling as opposed to running away from the feeling.
And then I remember Zoe and shooting this batmobile batman
mobile mh scene because I don't know, it was one
of like the longest it was like a family guy
style away that we shot it where we just kept

(39:14):
going like they made us do it NonStop and we
just and then we would break and start laughing because
we're like how many more times you guys? Like how
long is this actually gonna Like this is a there's
a lot of story in this episode. How long are
you going to do it? And it was so funny
to watch us. I remember in the moment like figure

(39:35):
out how do we sell the bit because obviously, like
Jess has to make it feel like to her that
she's saying what I'm saying, which is kind of like
with a little kid. If you've ever said to a
little kid, like try to correct their pronunciation on something,
and then you say it for them correctly, and then
they say it slower but the exact way, and then

(39:58):
you try to say it like they're saying it, and
they can clearly identify that yours sing it wrong. Yes,
That's what it felt like.

Speaker 1 (40:06):
You know what it reminds me of. It reminds me
of when when folks say I'm gonna I'm gonna go
hit the ATM machine mm hmmm, when it's just ATM oh,
because you're gonna hit the ATM because the M and
ATM is.

Speaker 2 (40:22):
Machine automatic, teller machine. I could machine reaching for the
A and the T right there. I could see it
in your eyes.

Speaker 1 (40:27):
No, I know what that is, do you? Yes, that's why.
That's why I brought it up.

Speaker 2 (40:32):
I know that's why I am. I'm asking the machine
machine and the T the automatic.

Speaker 1 (40:36):
You do realize that I am the face of a bank.

Speaker 2 (40:39):
Correct, Stop bringing it up. It's a Canadian bank and
it still hurts my feelings that they chose you so so.

Speaker 1 (40:44):
You do you are aware that I would know any
financial questions you can come to me.

Speaker 2 (40:47):
They don't sit there and give you like a like
a bank lingo course beforehand.

Speaker 1 (40:52):
No, but I have to know these things.

Speaker 2 (40:54):
I will say. When I was in Canada, every other
ad was you like, did you shoot one where you're
like almost like sitting in a jungle and there was
like a bird or something? Yes, I was like it
was a great ad, great ad it's also I would
like to say at M if that's your pet peeve
of the ATM machine, because that's ridiculous. Is chai ti latte?

(41:16):
His chai is just the Hindi word for tea doesn't
mean like it's a te, so a t t.

Speaker 1 (41:23):
This is a chai latte and we get one of
them titty lattes. I don't say that fast. Don't say
that fast at all.

Speaker 2 (41:33):
Kicked out of Starbucks.

Speaker 1 (41:36):
Now they're sitting back on the curb. Schmid asked Nick
if it was him not Keaton who helped with his
first breakup with Elizabeth and Wolso told him that women
aren't attracted to wear maternity pants.

Speaker 2 (41:51):
Say it is a real good holiday hack. You heard
it here first people, a really good holiday hack to
wear like maternity leggings at Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner. It's
like it's just like there's a there's like a little
pouch just like built in as your stomach expands.

Speaker 1 (42:11):
Oh, I guess I could see that. I guess I
understand that. Yeah, me, I just don't eat that much,
you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 2 (42:18):
Oh wow, I mean that's that's Olympic level solid resistance.
Is delicious food.

Speaker 1 (42:24):
I love the fact that they actually ran into Michael
Keaton at one point and then he winked at him
and exit helps the weirdest day of his life. Yeah,
but anyway, they're friends. They're all good. The next day,
while Schmidt and Nick are cleaning the apartment, Schmid tells
Nick that he's entering a new chapter in his life
and that he thinks it's best that he do it alone. Done,

(42:45):
done done.

Speaker 2 (42:46):
He's moving out, crazy crazy moving the series, by the
way to do.

Speaker 1 (42:51):
That, oh yeah, big swing. And it's funny is that
when Winston walks up, he tells them this had this
happened to me before he walks in and let them
know that people are in his room having sex. And
the reason why he thinks that is because they're still
in there having sex. That happened to me once I
had a birthday party in my house. I thought everybody

(43:15):
had gone, you're old, and I was, like, my old.
My first home that I ever bought and I had
a birthday party. Is the first time me throwing a party,
and and I thought like, like, I thought everybody had left,
Like I went to my room and blacked out, just
went to sleep, and I had my friends like telling like,
I locked my door and was like, I need to
go to sleep, and I'd only fall I'd fallen asleep

(43:38):
for like three hours. So I wake up. I go
use the bathroom, and I just hear somebody in my
house and I'm like, holy shit, at my house. I
walk around downstairs. There's no one in my house. I
slowly get upstairs. I open my door to my theater
room that I had built in there, and straight up
people were in there doing it. I had no idea

(44:02):
who the fuck they were. Oh my god, Hannah, what
I tell you?

Speaker 2 (44:07):
I wait, did you did you? Like? No?

Speaker 1 (44:10):
Yeah, I was like, hey, hey, I'm I don't know
you guys. When I say I've never seen them, I was,
I was like, were they at the party? It wasn't
a big house. I was like, what is happening right here? Wait?

Speaker 2 (44:22):
Were they like? Were they like did they really think that? Like,
were they like both fully naked or they were just
like it was like, you know, just like a break
in the clothes and they were just making it happen
a little quick moment.

Speaker 1 (44:33):
Hannah, there were four butt naked people in there.

Speaker 2 (44:37):
You walked into an orgy in your house. Yes, And
I was like, whoa, what the Oh my god, I
sold the house. You're like, I'm never watching a movie
in here again, Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 (44:49):
I mean that was one of the reasons it was
such a it was. It was because this part of
part of my mind was did they just walk in
off the street when I was blacked out? Did did
some forget to lock my door? Did they? Well? They
up there? This whole like a million thoughts, and I went, Okay,
I can't beat I can't do that. I have to
kick everybody out of the party before I go to bed,

(45:09):
you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (45:10):
There was no have to be at a point where
you're doing like you know what I mean, like checking
my shower curtains, like looking in hallway closets. Yeah, when
you end a party is like, that's crazy.

Speaker 1 (45:20):
That's crazy that you need someone at the door with.

Speaker 2 (45:22):
The guest list and you need to make sure that
they're crossing them off as they walk out too, to
be like, okay, gosh, I.

Speaker 1 (45:28):
Had to let them know y'all gotta go, yeah to go.
And I I called who did I call? I think
I called? I think I called my boy ramses or something.
I forget who was, and I was like, just go
let people walk up.

Speaker 2 (45:40):
I love that you were so mad you needed somewhere
to put it, so you call your best friend to
just take the heat for a second. You're like, I
need to yell at somebody. Somebody needs to be responsible
for this.

Speaker 1 (45:48):
I forget who I called, but I just remember it
being like, this ain't my fault. I told everybody to
go in the bed. Somebody supposed to be looking out
for me, and nobody would get mad at somebody.

Speaker 2 (45:58):
Right now, someone's responsible to me.

Speaker 1 (46:01):
Yeah, I could have been up in there or you know,
baby oil everywhere.

Speaker 2 (46:06):
No, we just figured out who it was. Job.

Speaker 1 (46:13):
He had a remote freak off anyway, we can cut
that anyway. We realized that Schmidt's moving out.

Speaker 2 (46:20):
Yeah, he grabbed a douche bag jar.

Speaker 1 (46:24):
Bye bye, and as he's walking, they're giving him like
this is ridiculous Schmidt. He turns around and then he
keeps walking. He realized that he's just moving right across
the hall to Apartment four C aka the bat Cave.

Speaker 2 (46:39):
Ah wait, can I just say something, I just fans
help me out on this one, because this wasn't that
Beverly's apartment, remember, and the Beverly is dead. They found
her dead. I don't think they found her on the toilet.
So is that like just multiple people have just died
or did Beverly die on the toilet and then like
fall forward?

Speaker 1 (47:00):
Yeah? When they when they wouldn't you talking about? But
wasn't she just on the floor?

Speaker 2 (47:06):
That's what I'm saying, broom, Yeah, a different dead person.

Speaker 1 (47:10):
No, Hannah, when you die on a toilet, you fall
off the toilet?

Speaker 2 (47:13):
Why whatever your mort and you're just dying, sinks into
it a little bit and you're just there and you're
just head drops hand.

Speaker 1 (47:20):
You don't die and like not you know what in
the small booty are you talking about? Nobody's but sinking
through the toilet?

Speaker 2 (47:28):
Could you fall in like that? And then you get stuck?

Speaker 1 (47:32):
That terrible miss miss Miss Beverly had cakes, Okay, she
had dumb hams. Has she fell off? All right?

Speaker 2 (47:43):
So she was up and then so maybe it was Beverly.
We just solved it. Booty Cheek murder Mystery. The next podcast,
Oh my gosh, Okay, we're gonna go to bread. Look
when we come back, I will say this. I have
some piping tea about this episode, and I don't know
if anybody knows it.

Speaker 1 (48:05):
Oh oh, and we are back. Hannah, you said something
about piping hot Chai tea.

Speaker 2 (48:23):
Don't do it, don't do it. Don't peeve me right away,
all right, So here's the piping hot tea. I remembered
as soon as I knew we were doing this episode
because I remember all the chatter around this episode. Michael
Keaton was supposed to appear in this episode. M hmm,

(48:44):
do you remember that. I do remember that the real
Michael Keaton right at the end it was going to
be I think in the tag or the last bit
of Act three was he was just going to walk
by and they were going to have a moment and
that was really going to happen. And then I feel
like they really held out for him, They held out

(49:05):
from even shooting all week, and then they just couldn't
make it happen. And I don't remember the reason why.
I don't know if he was out of town or
if nobody got back to them about it, like I
don't know if it was lack of interest or scheduling
or whatever well, or if it was just like a
no and they were just like kept pushing and trying
a different angles and relationships. I don't know, but I
do remember that that that was kind of like this

(49:29):
hope to make this magical moment happen for Schmidt, that
the real Michael Keaton was going to be in this episode,
and then it didn't happen.

Speaker 1 (49:40):
Michael Keaton Keton, let me say something to Michael really quick. Michael,
one award winner to another. M what's the deal man?
Let us let us know, help us understand why you
aren't available that day. I mean, I'm sure you're busy, obvious.
I mean, obviously you want the greatest of all time

(50:01):
all you know, and schedules get crazy. But I want
to know, do you remember this at all? Have you
seen the episode? Do you feel bad about not showing up?

Speaker 2 (50:10):
Just just you and I an email to Keaton Potatoes
at aol dot com.

Speaker 1 (50:16):
We're going to email you. We're going to email you,
Michael Keaton. We're going to have your email.

Speaker 2 (50:23):
We're very connected to reality.

Speaker 1 (50:24):
Mich Let's mess around for a second. Uh babe, Yeah, babe,
best and worst Halloween costumes you've had in the past, go.

Speaker 2 (50:36):
This story is going to annoy you. Okay, so.

Speaker 1 (50:40):
I was in blackface.

Speaker 2 (50:49):
No, it's worse because this is just going to bore
you and annoy you. I remember. So when I moved
back to Canada, I was seventeen years old. There was
a vin store in Vancouver called Value Vintage, and I
went there. It was gonna be like my first Halloween
party to go to when I'm not even even in

(51:10):
high school. Might have been the year I moved back.
So I was at Semiamu Secondary in White Rock and
I needed a Halloween costume, and so I went to
Value Vintage. You know, like I don't know, I'm not
creative that way, or I'm not going to just like
piece together something or like make a costume, like that's
not me. And there was you know, it's like a

(51:31):
vintage store like that was in almost like a warehouse,
so you had, you know, thousands of pieces of clothing.
Also like not for me. I'm not like a sifter.
And I was standing there getting overwhelmed. My friend, who
was the polar opposite of me, was like in heaven
building a costume out of all of these found vintage things.
And not a halloween store, right, just like a vintage

(51:53):
clothing store and I then looked up and there was
a dress that was hanging on a hangar in like
the rafters, and so I asked the person who worked there.
I was like, what's that dress? And she said, Oh,
it's been here for like as long as we've had

(52:13):
this vintage store. And so they went and like got
like one of those like hook things and like got
it down. And there's no zip on it, no buttons,
no nothing. It's like a silk long black dress and
on the waistband is hand embroidered Dorothy. And I guess

(52:34):
back in the day ladies of the night, for men
they couldn't remember their names for the hour they have purchased,
they wouldn't do that like in the twenties thirty whatever.
They would do that, they would embroider it or embroidered
on their on their waistband. And I went and tried this,

(52:55):
it's this. I assume she's no longer here, Dorothy dead
Hooker's correct. And again it just had to either fit
perfectly because it's like there's no zipp or buttons or
anything or not beautiful dress. And so I put this
little silk kind of dress on and it fit me perfect.

(53:18):
And so that became my what do you call it,
like get out a jail free card Halloween costume? Every
single year I brought Dorothy back and all my friends
would know it, and it was like, Dorothy is back
for Halloween, and so that's I've had the same costume

(53:39):
for a million years, which, by the way, as a woman,
is always a real test to go, like, am I
going to fit in this Dorothy dress again this year?
Because if I don't, I m'd crack. We'll put a
picture up of it so you guys can see this
Dorothy dress. But I when I was a much music beacha,
I wore it every year, like on air for Halloween.

Speaker 1 (53:56):
Do you still have it? I? Do you have a
dead Woman of the Nights dress?

Speaker 2 (54:04):
I kind of digger. The energy of that dress is
pretty cool.

Speaker 1 (54:07):
What if she died in that?

Speaker 2 (54:09):
Mm hmm on the g I ever thought of that?
Don't ruin Dorothy for me? Moving along, what is your
best or worst Halloween costume?

Speaker 1 (54:18):
Best or worst? I had a few bad ones, but
I would say best.

Speaker 2 (54:26):
So I was in whiteface.

Speaker 1 (54:29):
Fun fact, no I did. I did one year me
and my buddy shout out to Cisco Rayes. I don't
know what we were thinking. We were like those last
minute and it.

Speaker 2 (54:39):
Was Cisco Cisco. What a wild song that was.

Speaker 1 (54:46):
We uh, yeah, let me see your underwear, like Dame
Cisco relaxed. And he's not even just asking, He's like
singing a baby panties, your panies, your panties, Like that's crazy.

Speaker 2 (55:01):
It's a crazy song. And people were like singing it.

Speaker 1 (55:04):
Yeah. It like yeah, show me your panties. Okay, so different,
and we were like, oh, let's just go. We had
suits and we were like, let's just go as accountants.
And so I went as Steve from accounting, and I
forget his name, but he went as like Bill from accounting,

(55:25):
and we were two accountants to work together, and and
we straight up with white face. Was a picture?

Speaker 2 (55:33):
Does that exist?

Speaker 1 (55:34):
I probably have a photo somewhere. I probably took it down.
Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something.
I had a that was that was a troublesome back then.
You know, back in the day, people weren't tripping about
white face. You know what I'm saying, Like, back then,
you could do white face and it'd be okay. Chappelle

(55:55):
did it. A lot of these folks did it. Eddie Murphy.
But you know, when I did it, for some reason,
it felt strange. One because my makeup artist aka myself
was not very good.

Speaker 2 (56:07):
Immediately I just looked.

Speaker 1 (56:09):
I just looked sickly. I looked it looks. People were like,
what are you?

Speaker 2 (56:14):
Like?

Speaker 1 (56:14):
What is on your face? I'm Steve from Accounting, you know.
But that was a very very shitty costume.

Speaker 2 (56:23):
Yeah, that's not a great one.

Speaker 1 (56:24):
No, it wasn't a great one. We already talked about
what who the Keaton would be?

Speaker 2 (56:31):
You know, who would you here? I had to actually
have somebody to write me like life advice and to
like be my celebrity like email pen pal.

Speaker 1 (56:39):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 2 (56:40):
It's a it's it's something that's like not possible because
it would be Loretta shares character from Moonstruck. Oh do
you know what I'm saying? Or like, just share.

Speaker 1 (56:56):
That either just share. Yeah, that'd be I mean, that'd
be pretty damn cool. I would say, would be a
good one too. Oh yeah, oh honey, sometimes you gotta
just poke him out. I would. I would say, that's
my Dolly Parton person.

Speaker 2 (57:12):
It's as good as the Steve. It's as good as
the Steve.

Speaker 1 (57:15):
I got a million of them. I got a million
of them, folks. I would say Eddie Murphy. I would
just you know, because he's been through a lot and
you know, he's seen it all. And I'm like, Eddie,
guide me the King. He's the King, So I'd want
Eddie to guide me, you know him or Martin Luther King.

Speaker 2 (57:35):
I like this question. Ever had a nasty room? Just
stard what you just said. I Ever had a nasty
roommate breakup?

Speaker 1 (57:44):
Yeah? Oh yeah, me too. I've had some. I've had
some aggressive ones. I had one where I remember and
him and our buddies now, but I mean, we don't
see each other ever, but like when we do, it's
all love. I think we come into each other's Instagram
stuff like that. This is years ago, and we were

(58:07):
living together, and well he was living with me. He was,
you know, crashing with me for a little bit. And
I remember I was at home watching I was at
home watching a movie and he came home and he
was just as I'm trying to watch this movie, like
my living room is dark. He sits on the on
the couch next on the other couch and he starts

(58:28):
checking footage from his camera because he was off like
working or something, but he doesn't have headphones on. He's
just playing it loudly through the camera like, and at
first I'm like, ohka, maybe he's checking one or two things. Yeah.
So then I paused the movie and he just keeps looking.
So then I play the movie again to see if
he gets the hint yeah, and he doesn't get the hint,

(58:50):
and so I so I say, hey, bro, I'm trying
to watch this movie. And he goes, oh, okay, cool,
cool cool and keeps it. So I take his little
headphones and I tossed it to him and he goes
he like gets pissed, like you just throw headphones at
me up, and I was like what, Like, no, I'm

(59:12):
giving you the headphone so you can put them on over.
You're being rude and you just interrupt my movie so
you can like do what you want to do. And
it turn and it turned into like a little bit
of a conteching situation. Two days later, I'm on the
phone with my mom and I'm having a conversation with mom.
He comes home and he starts and he's pissed about
something and he's going off like he's oh, he's on

(59:33):
the phone with someone and he's like cursing someone out
on the phone loudly, and I'm on the phone my mom.
I'm like, bro, Bro, I'm on the phone my mom
like bro, And he's like what And I said, what
you mean what I'm on the phone. I said, I'm
let me call you back and I hung the phone
up and I at that point, I was so frustrated
with him. I said, bro, I said, you can't watch

(59:55):
your tone while I'm sitting on the phone with my mother,
like you come in here as if this is your place.
This is not your place, my place. I'm allowing you
to stay here. And then and then he and then
he was like, bro, get the fuck out of my face.
It turned into a whole thing, and I just I
don't know what it was. I was young, I was
twenty five, and I just grabbed him by his shirt
oh and threw him up against the wall and I

(01:00:15):
was like, you got ten minutes to get all your
shit and get the hell out of my place, right
and and that was it. That was literally it. I
was I had lost it. And then my mom called
me back. She was like, who do you have living
with you?

Speaker 2 (01:00:29):
So you want to make better choices.

Speaker 1 (01:00:31):
Yeah, I was like, I don't know, my mom, I'm sorry.
I didn't realize he was in a mood today like
he was you know, so.

Speaker 2 (01:00:37):
You know, for someone who's not rent, Yeah, exactly, you're
paying rent. Also like hello, you're welcome. Yeah, be spatially aware.

Speaker 1 (01:00:47):
Road.

Speaker 2 (01:00:48):
I remember I moved to London and I got a
flat and I was just sharing it with another girl
that got a job but the same place that I
was getting. So we're strangers, but we were like, oh,
we're both moving to London together. And I went ahead
and I got the flat and which was not easy.
We had a limited budget, so it took some My

(01:01:09):
mom flew in to help, you know, find it for
this girl and for myself. Then she so she got
to just show up and like move into like this
like great little spot right and she had a friend
and I think she just decided she would like to
have this guy move in and instead of me living there.

(01:01:37):
I don't know what her thing was, but I will
never forget. It was like a couple of months into
living together, we did not really like, we're not endeared
to each other. Let's just say that we're fine. There's
no issue as far as I knew, no issue. And
the landlord calls me and he's like, your roommate just
called and gave your notice, so I guess you're moving

(01:02:00):
out and someone else's moving in is going to go
on the lease. But he's like, I just thought it
was strange because I talked to my landlord all the
time and he's like, and you never mentioned that you
were moving out, And I said, what, I'm not moving
out whatsoever. So I came home and I was like, hello,

(01:02:24):
did you call and give my two week notice to
move out? And this girl was so crazy. She had
told her friend to give his notice, which he did
so her and she went berserk, saying like it was

(01:02:46):
my fault that her friend now is going to be
out on the street, had nowhere to live, and she
started throwing pots and pans and screaming at me, how
dare you? Where's he going to go? You need to
get out, by the ways, my like mine was the
main name on this lease. Yeah, And I remember being like, oh, like,

(01:03:08):
you're just like a lunatic. But the pots and painte
which is not like normal girl behavior, you know what
I mean. I was just like there was like like
things from the kitchen flying and I was like, okay,
I'm out and I went and crashed at my friend's
place for like four or five days, a little cool down.
But then I was like, this situation has to end,

(01:03:29):
like whatever this is, it's like, you're violent. This has
gotta go, which is also seems like what happened in
your story where it was just like, as soon as
hands are being laid, we should not cohabitate.

Speaker 1 (01:03:42):
Oh but part I left out about that was that
the reason why I grabbed them and through what begins
the wall is because he got nose to nose to
my face and like tapped me.

Speaker 2 (01:03:50):
And that's when I was like, oh so you got
tapped in You're like, okay, I guess this is it.
You started you eskimo kissed me into this fight.

Speaker 1 (01:03:59):
Let's go okay. Well, Hannah, uh, I love you. A
great episode, great episode, folks, Thank you for listening. Be
sure to make sure you follow us on IG at
the mess Around Pod next week. Next week we will
be back with one of my favorite episodes. That's the
return of Coach. Yes, that was the mess Around. This

(01:04:26):
has been an iHeartMedia production. Our executive producer is Joel Monique.
Our engineer and editor is Mia Taylor. Additional production from
Daniel Goodman, Wendy Heisler, and Kyle Shevron. Our theme song
was written and composed by Ronald Jukebox Jackson. So We're
gonna catch you next time. Bye,