March 4, 2025 • 37 mins
This is the epiode where Coach becomes Coach Coach. You remember. Lamorne discusses the one time he had to fire someone, and Hannah questions Cece's choice to date the hot Australian who couldn't legally drink
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
You're just so in your own zone that you didn't
(00:21):
care about the other people.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
You can say a lot of things about me and
I do. I can't see I don't care.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Behind your back? Behind your back? Can I say I've been.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Watching a lot of viola or viola?
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Davis's is it viola or viola? Do you try to
get she goes by v because that's what it starts with,
she can go by vie.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
I think it's I think anyway, I've been watching her
just like you know, be the best like actress ever
and watching her and now you think.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
She's the best actress ever.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
She's up there, man, she's a amazing Can I also
just tell you something just before we dive into Fired Up,
which is, by the way, great episode. Totally forgot about
this episode. Never laughed so much. One of my most
mom moments happened with my mom. She called me. She
was like, darling, my mom's British dning. Do you know
(01:21):
that Lemone might be moving? I said she was. I
heard it on the podcast. I'm like, do you okay?
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Wait, mom?
Speaker 2 (01:28):
So you you learnt about Lamarn moving from when La
Moren was talking to me about it on our podcast
she was on listen every week. I was like, no,
I why are you asking me? Do I know.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
It's a bowling A bowling ball just rolled over here
on me.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Well that's great because this is slapstick comedy right now,
when we're talking about my mom donning do you know
the moving I was like, how where do we begin
with this one?
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Your mom? It turned out is as I'm kidding, as
bright as CC is.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
She would take that. She'd be like, really, thank you
so much. All right, let's dive in because there's so
much to get through in this episode. Oh yeah, absolutely,
so freaking good. So come on, write it down.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Okay, So here, let me do this first.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Okay, well, I just have to say right off the top.
I know you we usually say it after, but I
have to have It was directed by Steve Welch, which
you guys, he was the editor of New Girl. So
when you see like that really great, like you know,
like wrap that happened during like Nick's cancer episode, or
like wonderful, amazing things that have happened a lot of
it always has to do with in the edit. And
that was the genius of Steve Welch, and he got
(02:45):
to direct this episode, which is so cool when an
editor gets a direct because they know the shots, they
know what they're looking for. They have a different insight
and perspective and lens on things, which is why I
think this episode is so funny because our editor got
to direct, really got to get all the goods. And
Sophia Lear wrote it, who's one of the funniest, kindest,
most talented women out there. So such a good one. Okay,
(03:07):
tell us about it a.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Long oh yeah. But I'll also say on Steve Welsh front,
you know, as an editor, you're right. He knows all
the shots, all the angles, he knows exactly what he's
gonna use in the edit it, and I respected him
from start to finish. Jake Johnson, on the other hand,
was like, I'm not listening to some du like. He
couldn't give Jake acting notes. He wouldn't allow it. He
was just like, Jake was like, dude, stick to editing.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Why are you dragging us into this podcast war.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
No, there is no podcast war. This is two separate podcasts.
I'm just speaking the truth because that's what this Because
I love the fans so much, we do this episode,
we do this podcast. I'm only speaking. They need to
know the truth, they need to know the facts. So
let's get into this episode, all right. Jake hates the fans,
So Jess hires coach to be the coach of her
school's volleyball team, but when she gets promoted to vice principal,
(03:54):
her first task is to fire coach the coach. Meanwhile,
Nick and Instant pretend to be lawyers from the make
belief firm of Cooper, Bishop and Ferguson and represent Schmid
in a personal injury lawsuit he's facing. Meanwhile, back at
the bar, CEC has her eyes set on a nice
young man with an accent named Buster.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Oh my gosh, so much to say on that, by
the way, so much backstory to that.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Yeah, when we get to that, are you going down?
You're about to get busted because of Buster? That is.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
All right. When we come back, we are gonna dive.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
It and we j hates the fans, so okay, so
I love this part. Nick is waiting in the kitchen
(04:55):
with a fly swatter, right, He's just just waiting for
a fly, which I've done. I have one, and I
the flies are never around when you need them, do
you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Let me just say this about the fly swatters the
best ones and the cruelest ones, because it's not a
fair fight. Are the electric ones?
Speaker 1 (05:17):
Yeah, that's what I have.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Yeah, and you don't lose that fight. But it's it's
it's an unfair advantage in the man versus fly.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
Sometimes you get a fly so strong that it's electricity resistant.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Comes up and slaps you.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
It goes and it'll play dead, it'll play possum.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Turn into a superhero maybe.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Oh no, it mutates when you're electrocuted. You electric It's like.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
The superhero thing that you're gonna do. Everybody's like, oh,
Lamar's next up is to become like the next big superhero,
like a Robert Downey junior thing. You could be fly Man.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
You mean the Fly from by Jeff Goldblum. That's already
been done, Jeff already done superheroes The Fly. Jeff.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
All right. So then Jess lets the boys know she
got coach a job at her school and and it's
his first day and he is like not happy about it,
doesn't want to go to the job, hates children, thinks
this is going to be a terrible idea, but he
needs the paycheck, so he's going to show.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Up, that's right, and he does, and in coach fashion,
he is aggressively screaming at these.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Kids, which by the way, made me laugh so much
because Damon has what nine twenty you know, he has.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
More than he has more than Nick Cannon. He has
more than Nick Cannon.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
He has seventy children.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Yeah, something like that. That bought be doing it anyway.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
And no one loves children more than Daman. He's just
the absolute like best dad, he's the kindest uncle everything.
And it was so funny to have him play like
this scene where he's screaming and so.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Mean, yes, keep running or out will murder your family. Yeah,
that's fine.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Crazy, that's so crazy, so dark, so perfect for her exactly.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Now meanwhile, Schmid, you know, he had nowhere to put
all of his stuff, you know, so he you know,
he you know, they give him, they give him bit
of advice and say, hey, let's move all of your
furniture to the storefront that you bought or that you're
renting out. And when they come when they go in,
a dude walks in randomly and is like, hey, I
(07:11):
want to buy that. But you know, he's like, it's
not for sale.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
It's a storage unit.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
It's a storage unit. And Nick is like, you gotta
do it, you gotta do it, you gotta do it.
He does it. But the problem is the guy then
goes and trips, just like Winston did earlier. And Winston's
a great guy, is not gonna sue. But this guy,
he's about to take him to court.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
And you're playing the piano very beautifully, I assume not
for real.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Thank you for saying so.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
That means a lot just banging around on there. And also,
by the way, I will say this and I love
this this choice by the show, the way he tripped
felt like he wanted the lawsuit.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Yeah, I know people who done that right.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
It was like the throwing themselves in front of like
a parked car kind of situation. Oh so that I
like that little setup in that choice. Didn't just genuinely
fall and hurt himself. Right, we're already on like your jerk.
We hope these guys can figure out how to get
out of this lawsuit. I like that choice for our show.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
You know what, let me go back and rewind why
I forget Nick. Nick didn't tell him to do it? Now,
Nick told him not to do it.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
Okay, another one of your bits of just trying to
make Jake Johnson responsible now for this thing happening in
the show.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
No, no, I forgot he told him it was illegal.
He told him was illegal. That's one.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
He's like, he tried to actually give him good advice.
And then Schmid gets himself into a pickle because that's right,
he's trying to sit there and now make money. And
then the guy falls and now he's going to sue
the business, but there is no business. It's just a
shimitty exactly.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Yeah, Schmid tells him that he's not going to listen
to to a guy who pronounces uh bounces the G
in lasagna. Now just then, okay, so we've already moved
past that. Now we're back at the teacher's lounge.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Yeah. Yeah, Coach is actually loving the up.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Yeah, it fits him.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
He's digging it. And then, oh gosh, the biology teacher
needs some tech support. So Jess helps him and then
looks at him and says, you know, I can see
your entire search history, right, and then he's like, I'm
a biology teacher, it's already sir.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Now Coach is curious. He's like I see you doing
all this stuff. You're you're the tech support now. And
she's like, oh, I do a lot of stuff to
help around the school, mowing the lawn, cleaning off graffiti.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
She's trying to earn goodwill so that she hopefully gets
chosen to be vice vice principal. I've just been trying
to earn the goodwill. Also, by the way, what did
she say, like, I love corn on the cob, but
I don't go around like painting it on.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Yeah okay, But Coach's advice is, you know, you can't
just wait around. You gotta take it. Okay, you gotta
you gotta go get the job that you want. And
so in his metaphor, he you know, he's in front
of a volleyball net and uh inn in typical jests fashion,
she's getting aggressive, but she can't hit the ball over
the net and she instead hits herself in the face
(10:11):
with it.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
Yeah, and he says, this is that moment with Damon
when he's like, I will not laugh. Made me think like,
if somebody gets hurt like trips and falls, you know,
and gets hurt, is your nervous reaction to laugh?
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Yeah? No, it depends on how bad they get hurt.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
If it's like it depends on who or how bad
they got hurt.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Yes, I mean it's what the accident is. If somebody
like falls downstairs, No, I'm not laughing. I'm gonna go
try to make sure that person's okay. If somebody gets
hit in the face of the volleyball, I am in tears.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
I'm not I don't laugh at all. I have such
like mamma instignum. I'm like, oh my god, oh no,
running over, are you okay? But I know a lot
of people that have the nervous laughter thing, no matter
what the situation or who it is. Their grandma could
fall down the stairs and they're just like like they
do a weird giggles squeaks out and it's so odd.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Oh. When I laugh, it's not nervous laughter at all.
It's intentionally I'm finger pointing. I'm going, you little stupid, You're.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Going all the way back to the to the playground.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Now. Meanwhile, we go back into the loft, and you
know they come inside with Winston and uh and Schmidt,
I believe. And I don't know why this line makes
me laugh so much. When Winston says there is no
justice for the hebrew Man, not in these United States.
(11:36):
Winston's like, hey, man, I can't get enough of this
legal drama that schmids in and the whole that's what
this is what courtroom brown?
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Courtroom brown? And you know what, they're not wrong. That's
an amazing nickname.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
I loved also the little moment where he was like
my name and Nick's like Winston and you like, don't react,
don't react. He's like courtroom and.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Then what.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Grown men?
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Grown men?
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Yes, but okay, not a revelation, but okay, but you.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Know he is still without a lawyer. You know, he's
got to go to court. And Winston suggests that Nick
should be Schmidt's lawyer. You know, he did pass the bar.
You know something you don't forget. According to him, it's
like riding a bike.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
I've never related to something more. I hate that expression.
It's just like riding a bike. Yeah, because sure I
can ride a bike, but if you put one like
underneath me, now, like go go get on that bike
and go ride around the block, I'd be like, well,
just give me a couple of minutes.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
Yeah, in a warm up. Oh but a warm up
for real, Like how do I break again? Is this
the kind of break with your feet or you get
the handheld in private?
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Could I just like figure it out?
Speaker 1 (12:51):
So?
Speaker 2 (12:52):
By the way, fair, if it is like riding a bike,
give him a minute to like familiarize himself with something
isn't in a while? Yes, expression works if that's the
takeaway from the expression. But if it's easy in child's play,
this expression needs to be reworked. That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
Now. Nick is agreeing to be his lawyer, but he
says only if he says please and has a retainer
of five dollars. He tells him four. It's like you
got a deal.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
Give me some skin. So funny this thank him being
a lawyer, but also this negotiation. Okay, know this is
one of the most awkward, funny moments in New Girl history.
Jess marches in. She's now all fired up, and she says, uh,
I want to be I want you to take advantage
of me.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
She's like, I'm young, energetic, take advantage of me, take
full advantage of me, and uh I love his response.
He's like, ah, man, I'm really only into Asians right now.
We've all been there, am I right?
Speaker 2 (14:03):
And then he explains his backstory, like where it all started.
It's so bunny, and then she clarifies they both feel
very weird. And then he's so excited. Who wants the
vice principal job, the thankless jobs of being a VP?
(14:25):
But she wants it. She's like, what a dream. Here
you go and gives her all the files. Take a
look at our finances. Let's start to figure out the school.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Yeah, exactly, And coach tries to dump gatorade in her
or coach of aide, say coach of aide or something
like that.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
I don't know, but I loved how it was. Damon.
You can tell his improving is running out. He's like,
it's only gonna get on your dress, on your face
and your makeup in your hair. Oh gosh.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Now the mock trial. The mockb so fun Nick Schmidt, Winston.
They do a mock trial once they won't answer next
questions and he's getting frustrated and Schmidt fires him on
the spot and immediately Jake, give me another chance.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
So funny the way he says it too, it's so
Jake versus Nick. That moment was like smulisious, so funny. Okay,
this let's talk about it.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
Let's talk about the pedophilia drink.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
Oh my gosh. And this is with the absolutely crazy, talented,
super funny Ben Falcone.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Yeah, he's got great.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Taste in women in real life Mary Timlis McCarthy. He
plays this so funny to me that I can catch
myself having to like, I kept like biting my tongue
with the inside of my cheek because Ben was making
me laugh. Hm hmm, so hard. So some fun facts
(16:03):
is that I feel like they cast an Australian because
of trent O'Donnell. Right, It was this thing about like
the handsome guy or whatever, and so they cast an Australian.
But Buster is Brett Bear's son's real name. He named
a character after his kid, which a lot of writers
and creators do. They put family names into the show.
(16:24):
And Buster is his real son's name.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
Yeah, and then they and then they hired this guy
and he happens to be a child. We're back to
the character.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Now, back to the character, back to the Aussie Buster.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
And I love that. I mean, let's just be honest, Ceci,
this ain't okay, it's not okay, but you did it
with a smile In her face.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
It's so weird. I remember it at the time. I
remember this table reading and I was like, what's happening?
And I didn't know. It was like from like a
big back of like, well, a thirty year old, you know,
guy dating a twenty year old girl happens. Nobody really
blinks they should, but they don't.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
And yes they do. Really in this town, you gotta
be over twenty one, that's the rule. And even then,
even then, even then, even then, if you're like twenty
two to twenty, between twenty two and twenty five at
my age, you're like, yeah, but you're.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
In your forties. I'm talking about a thirty year old man.
We were playing in our thirties right on this show,
maybe even late twenties.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
No, on season three we were in our thirties right.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
But that's it. I feel like a young thirty year
old man here in La dating a twenty year old girl.
Not too many people would blink like I said they should.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
No, I'm here to tell you as a man, Yeah,
people would blink. People would people would definitely make comments
about it.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
It's weird. Don't do it, you, guys, it's weird. They're
babies and the fact that we did it on the show,
I was like, this is weird. He's a baby. I
felt weird doing it in character. You can see my
face where like there's i'man honest, like very little chemistry
between me and this guy. Because in my brain, I'm like,
it's a baby.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Well, think about it this way. Hanah knows a baby,
I know. And if if they wrote a storyline that
Winston starts dating in underage Girl, because the whole point
is that he's underage and he can't be in the bar.
If Winston all of a sudden was like, well, I'm
still gonna like see her out. I'm gonna forget your
fake ID. I'm just gonna still go out and go
(18:27):
on a date with you, it would be it wouldn't
be able to get aired. It wouldn't be able to
get aired.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
I just it would get aired.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
No, there's no way, because then the rest of the
fans would turn on the Winston character.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
I feel like it would get aired. But because here's
the thing, it's America, right, Educate me about your country.
The only thing that's underage if you're not twenty one
is drinking right. Everything else well, uh, well is your legal.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
Right, yeah, okay, but you know, still.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
I agree with you, but I'm just saying nothing illegal
is happening.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
So you'd be like, oh man, but it's weird to drink.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Yeah, I think it's tright. That's why she's like, you
want to go get like a soda? She asked that.
I was like, CC, girl, go talk to these writers
that are writing this for you.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
There is always a.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Way to go for a soda.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
It's not okay, Hannah. This has always been my motto.
If she can't handle alcohol, you can't handle this.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Bang.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
You can't handle it.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Okay. So moving on, we are back at the school.
What a rightway. We're back at school and they just
says there's a big issue in the budget. They've got
to make some big cuts and hi, mom, and Principal
Foster says, well, look, you got it, then get rid
of the most recent hire and that's coach.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Coach.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
So Jess is absolutely devastated. It's not what she thought
she was going to have to do, but it's part
of the job. Now she's in a pickle, and so
she goes to the gym to fire coach. At the
exact moment, all of the students that have fallen so
in love with coach are presenting him with a varsity
jacket that reads coch coach.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
Coach, coach coach mmmmmm. And he leaves and he's crying, crying,
and Damon's a Damon's a like method actor. He was
actually crying.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
He can cry at a dime.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
He can't, he can't. Now. The next morning, obviously nobody
want to talk to her, don't want to deal with this.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
No, I know, wait, you gave by the way, it
was a real, real closed squint.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Yeah, it's either onions in an atmosphere, her.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Face really placid.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
He just.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
You didn't even have like disdain on your face. It
was just the squint. It was very impressive. It's hard
to do.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Because you get that. You get that, You get that
from your mom when you act it up when as
a kid and she just gives you the squint and you're.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Like, oh no, there was more going on in the face.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
I'm gonna get my beat.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
All of it would happen, just squint get bigger, though.
You get the look for the look you gave her
the squint.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
You know what. The squint also says something ain't right
about you there's something else going on.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
I learned something today, right, I.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
See what this is this whole time. Yeah, that's what
that is. And then uh Nick comes in and she's
trying to get that she's trying to she's trying to
get some advice. He's trying to, you know, have a
talk with someone. And then you know, obviously Nick comes
in and Nick tells just that uh Schmidt fired him,
all right, and he'll never get to use his nineteen
(21:49):
dollars briefcase study bought, you know what I mean, So
ignore it completely, ignoring the fact that she just fired coach.
Like he he doesn't know this yet because he's got
his own problems going on. He's got his own thing
going on.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
He got fired. She's firing someone. Yeah, they both need
each other, they can see each other. This is a
big moment of disconnect, which leads us into our next episode.
But a big moment of disconnect. And then he does
a very weird takeaway. You're right, no one can stop me,
and he's off.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
That's right, He's going to go put on his power suit.
Now we're we're we're in a mediation. Have you ever
been in mediation? Is rough?
Speaker 2 (22:29):
I never have, have you? No, not really, Uh, you
have no experience. We can tell you it's rough. I have.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
I have been a mediation before. You know, parental stuff,
co parenting. You got to go through the mediation. So
nobody actually gets everything that they want. And especially in
this scenario when you got two idiots representing you, I.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
Will say, man, when he carried it off.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
He's the smart he's the smartest character, very smart.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
He came in there with the swag, bravado, fake it
till you make it zero imposture syndrome, and just use comedy.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Now, let me tell you something to disarm them. His
joke whereas is that whether it's in the office or
at the meeting, it's all Billable. Yep, that's how they
think it's true. That's how they think. Stay out of court,
you guys. They're just trying to take your money.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
It's not a jail seat of court. Life advice for
about static court.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
And then Nick obviously is not good at it. He
asked them if they should get into it or just
take their pants off, and nobody laughs because they don't
get it. I love his line of questioning, though, his
line of questioning, he just says, so, what is uh
your home address? Did? He tells her? He goes no
further questions, Oh my gosh, where we were back at
(23:56):
the bar?
Speaker 2 (23:57):
Yeah, and and coach Coach and jack Us are getting
drunk and crying and sad. He said that he can't
work with the kids anymore. She said that she had
to fire them. Then they're talking about how much they
love the kids, and they're spiraling and bonding and connecting
over it because he's missing the game. He's coached them
(24:17):
for this big game. He's missing the game. And then
all of a sudden, with some liquid courage, they're like,
forget it, let's go. We're going to the game.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
Were gon't do it, We're gonna make it happen.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
Also, the things that they say about these children during
this ramble is some of the meanest stuff I've ever
heard said about kids. But their delivery is that they
love the kids so much, and it is hysterical.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
Pasadena is a bunch of bitch.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
Crazy did get Pasadena? Sorry, Pasadena, We love you Pasadena crazy.
Then this okay, the cutback to this stenographer reading almost
out of pocket insane thing, but then ends at the
end of what she's reading is Look, I'm gonna buy
some time or something. I'm gonna ask her to read back. Oh,
(25:12):
she caught all the stuff that they had said under
their breath, and now she's read out loud to the room.
Classic Nick Miller, just his own undoing.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
Oh wow. Now the plaintive say, the place's attorney says
that you know what, we will settle for a twenty
thousand dollar.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
Yeah, he says, you're not real lawyers. This is a joke.
We want twenty grand and that's it. You have no
legs to stand on. And then they kind of scuffle.
They go out in the hall Schmidt and Nick, and
Nick says this is all part of a plan. You
got to trust me.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Mm hmm. And then they go inside. Actually, but you
know what, let's just pause there on the plan. Let's
skip on over to the volleyball game. Yeah, we're a coach.
I mean, they're getting smoked. These kids are so bad,
Like they're just the most uncoordinated little assholes that you've
ever seen.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
Do you coach children's sports? Because you sound like it.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
No, I refuse, I refuse. I know how bad I
am at certain sports. I don't want no part of that,
I can I can sit there and tell a kid
you gotta do this. I can't. I could never do it.
So I'm hoping Lily, like, I hope she likes sports,
but I hope that's another dad or another mom who's like,
I'll coach.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
I'll be like, thank you, just say I'll bring the snacks.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
That's all you have to do all day, kidding me,
orange slices, come on, bud light, I'll bring it. Don't matter,
don't matter but light. But and because what well weed
is medicinal, right, it helps heal.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
Uh, I'm gonna find something else for you to do sports.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
Okay. So they're at the volleyball game. Coach comes in,
they're getting smoked, grabs the whistle and just starts barking
orders at him. He's going, he's going, he's amping them
up and it is working now. Meanwhile, Jess tells Principal
Foster that she is going to VP the way she
wants to do it, because he's sitting over there looking
like what is coach doing here? And she's like, yeah,
(27:15):
we're gonna figure it out.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
Yeah, other budget cuts, we can figure out other ways
to make money and to save money and now she
wants to think outside of the box and show her
true skills and save coaches job. It's a very awesome moment,
and the team scores a point. That's right, and everybody
starts celebrating.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
Like what a bunch of losers. No, I'm kidding. It's
all about participation. We know nobody cares really good at
everybody give me a jam.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
So now we are back. We're back in this mediation room.
Nick delivers a speech standing and then he gives Schmid
some loose screws. Then he does the biggest pratfall ever.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
Justin Long would be proud.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
So proud Genslinger would be like.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
John Rid Oh yeah, and he falls. He claims negligence
while grabbing his neck. He tells the other lawyers that
he is gonna file petition after petition, overloading them with
paperwork and uh and they kind of cave and as
(28:23):
he walks out, he can't well. Well, first he tells
them to pay the fee. He tells them to pay
very smart though.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
Basically he's like, I'm just going to be a nuisance.
This will never end. I will dedicate my life. I've
got nothing but time and one case I will be
your living nightmare, or you guys, as a law for firm,
absorb this cost, pay your client, and I go away today.
I don't know that would really work, but not a
(28:49):
terrible plan.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
Yeah, if you don't feel like dealing with it, you
know what I mean, Like if you don't feel like
because at the end, if he does, indeed, when they
get they don't, he doesn't get to pay their fees. Yeah.
I think that's how all works, and it's only going
to cost him a lot. Anyway. I love the fact
that when they leave Winston Handsome his business cards ye
play in the big leagues. Turns out it's just a
(29:13):
baseball card that's pretty.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
Good, strong, open, strong clothes for Winston.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
I gotta say, not the bar then this.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
Weird tag it's I mean, it's so where CC is
going to go out with a baby and the guys
ras her as they should.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
Yeah, as they should. You know, it's it's weird. It's
so weird that again, I don't know how to I
don't know what to say about it other than I'm troubled.
I don't want to continue down this journey of encouraging.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Your I would like to say for the record, I've
never dated anyone younger than me or weirdly older than me.
I've always stayed in the age appropriate bucket. Well, just
a animal.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
Well, you played it too well. You played it really.
Speaker 2 (29:59):
Well, so I think you could see my awkwardness in the summer.
But it was actually a very cute. End of this episode,
Nick walks back into law. He finds just passed out,
covered in paperwork. She's wearing a velvet rabbit hat. I
don't know if you saw that.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
Yes, I was like that money, and then.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
I was like, oh, is he going to be bummed
because he's won his case and she's sleeping. But he
loves her so much, and he all he says is
real sweet.
Speaker 1 (30:26):
He holds her hand and lays down next to her.
That was special. Let's go to a commercial break so
we can keep thinking about how special that moment. And
we are Jk's the fans. So let's go ahead, and
(30:49):
let's go ahead and mess around a little bit here,
shall we? Oh?
Speaker 2 (30:52):
Mine?
Speaker 1 (30:53):
Uh, have you guys ever represented yourself in court or
small claims court? Why? And how did it go?
Speaker 2 (31:00):
Oh? Can I say something really quick about this short answer? No?
But my favorite TV show for a very long time
Daily viewer Daily It's People's Court. I've seen all the judges.
There's been like nine judges on that show over the years. Okay,
(31:22):
I've seen them all. I have my favorites. I won't
say it aloud who my favorites were. But I sat
there and watched like Civil Court in America for many years,
Daily loved People's Court. And I just have to say,
if someone wasn't like a fender bender, little pickle, no
real injuries, oh I'm not a bad person to call.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
Oh so because of your TV.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
Experience, because of my TV experience.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
Well, I gotta say I wouldn't. You wouldn't be my
first call her. I call her real lawyer, one of
those people you see on a billboard or a bus stop.
Speaker 2 (31:57):
I did apply to law school and did not get it.
I would I should say that all.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
About Oh boy, no g ed in a law school.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
I have two degrees. I just didn't get into law school.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
Sure sure, uh uh so I have. I've been the
small claims court when I was very young. My first apartment,
me and a couple buddies. They were trying to keep
our security deposit. I want to say that was the case,
and we needed that money back, and and the issues
(32:27):
with the house that were issues were not really our problem.
It was their problem for not being great landlords. All
kinds of stuff that happened, and we took him to
court and we won.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
Get out mean one, mean one impressive.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
Yeah, yeah, that it's fun. But yeah, besides that, No,
I am taking Jake Johnson to small claims court. That
is a real thing. That is a real thing. Well,
we can discuss it later. But you know the lobster, No,
it's not over the lot. Why are you bringing up
evidence that you don't need. Don't don't do that. Don't
bring up ship that's gonna cost me in court.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
So I thought, well, I was gonna say that his
treatment of your gift, I thought you were suing him.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
No, not for that, it's for other stuff. And it's
deep and it's truggling. Have you been fired? Have you
ever had to fire a friend from a job. If so,
what's the best way to do that. I've never been
a boss of anybody like that. I don't think.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
No, I've never had to fire anybody. I'd be terrible
at it. I'd be like Jess, I'd be like, what
other things can we do to make sure that, like
you stay in this job. I would be terrible at
it if I.
Speaker 1 (33:33):
Had to fire Nanny's.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
Yeah, I had that go not great, not great.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
It's it's you know, then I getting along my daughter.
You know, it's toddlers don't get along with a lot
of people. You know what I'm saying, But like this
one in particular, Uh, I'll just fire to Nanny's one
of which did the ultimate no no. And it's my
thing is if you're taking my daughter to the park, yeah,
(33:59):
if you're taking there anywhere out of this house, yeah,
put your locations.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
On on your phone for sure.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
Turn that on. And when I FaceTime answer for call answer.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Is that optional?
Speaker 1 (34:11):
Yeah? Yeah? And she knew this.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:15):
And then one time she leaves and I go, like
five minutes five minutes after they leave the house, she
says she's going to the park. I'm getting some work
Done'm just literally on a zoom or something like this,
and I keep checking the phone to see her location
and it's not on, and I'm like, what the hell.
So then I'm like, hey, guys, I hold one second
and I go call her. She doesn't answer FaceTime. She
(34:35):
doesn't answer. An hour goes by, and I lost it,
Like I was, you have no idea, You have no idea.
When she got back to my house, it was like
it was all hell broke loose. And she was just like, what,
I'm sorry, I forgot I just you know, I didn't
(34:55):
I left my phone in the car. I was he
and it's just and and I was like, my sister
was like, you gonna have to I'm gonna need you
to go on the other room and I'll handle it.
Speaker 2 (35:06):
You know what's hard though, here's the thing, and your
sister was right to do that because it was apparent
when moments like that happen, you are not in your
right mind. It's all visceral. It's primal, right, it's ancestral,
like your bones are, like somebody took my child. Doesn't
matter if it's rational or not. You can't rationalize with
somebody when something primitive is happening in your body. Yeah,
(35:28):
it's it's you're you're you're not in the right space.
Speaker 1 (35:31):
Right And so yeah, so I had to I had
to fire her. Yeah, uh, do you both plan on
coaching your children in sports? We talked about this.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
We did talk about it. You're in now and we
thought snacks. I also don't know if this is going
to be your.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
You're not going to give them drugs.
Speaker 2 (35:48):
You know what you should do? You should be the
guy organized like the trans pope, get like a.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
Cool like, oh yeah, I get a sprinter van, get
like a ya.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
Right, maybe this is the vibe that's cool.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
You feel that spreader van with like orange slices marijuana.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
Okay, someone else's next next? Fired up you guys? What
a funny episode? Honestly, yeah, anytime the three of you
guys are locked in a room together trying to get
away with something, it is comedy gold. The just Coach
storyline is great and funny, my more heartwarming, let's just
(36:26):
be real. The ccbuster one is weird. Ben Falcone though,
came in and was so committed it's made it hysterical.
But the three of you guys doing this legal drama
one of the funniest things. Completely forgot about this episode.
What a fun were you watching?
Speaker 1 (36:40):
Oh yeah, thank you guys, Thank y'all for listening. We
really really appreciate it. Dope shirt, you're rocking there, Hannah.
As always, please make sure you follow us on IG
at the mess Around Pod. You got questions, you got videos,
you got anything you want to show us, say to
us or concerns. The mess Around Pod at gmail dot
(37:01):
com is available for you. We'll be back next week
episode three twenty Mars Lending.
Speaker 2 (37:09):
I would also like to say the week after that,
mark your calendars. I want to see you setting out
those invites from your calendars because three twenty one Big
News Max Greenfield will be joining us for the episode.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
That's right, bap peace.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
That was the mess Around in iHeartMedia Production.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
Our executive producer is Joel Monique. Our senior producer is
Abu Zafar. Bei Wang provided engineering and editing services.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Additional production from Daniel Goodman, Wendy Heisler, and Kyle Shevron.
Our theme song was written and composed by Ronald Jukebox Jackson.
Speaker 1 (37:49):
Catch you next time.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
Bye,
You're just so in your own zone that you didn't
(00:21):
care about the other people.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
You can say a lot of things about me and
I do. I can't see I don't care.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Behind your back? Behind your back? Can I say I've been.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Watching a lot of viola or viola?
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Davis's is it viola or viola? Do you try to
get she goes by v because that's what it starts with,
she can go by vie.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
I think it's I think anyway, I've been watching her
just like you know, be the best like actress ever
and watching her and now you think.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
She's the best actress ever.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
She's up there, man, she's a amazing Can I also
just tell you something just before we dive into Fired Up,
which is, by the way, great episode. Totally forgot about
this episode. Never laughed so much. One of my most
mom moments happened with my mom. She called me. She
was like, darling, my mom's British dning. Do you know
(01:21):
that Lemone might be moving? I said she was. I
heard it on the podcast. I'm like, do you okay?
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Wait, mom?
Speaker 2 (01:28):
So you you learnt about Lamarn moving from when La
Moren was talking to me about it on our podcast
she was on listen every week. I was like, no,
I why are you asking me? Do I know.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
It's a bowling A bowling ball just rolled over here
on me.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Well that's great because this is slapstick comedy right now,
when we're talking about my mom donning do you know
the moving I was like, how where do we begin
with this one?
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Your mom? It turned out is as I'm kidding, as
bright as CC is.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
She would take that. She'd be like, really, thank you
so much. All right, let's dive in because there's so
much to get through in this episode. Oh yeah, absolutely,
so freaking good. So come on, write it down.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Okay, So here, let me do this first.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Okay, well, I just have to say right off the top.
I know you we usually say it after, but I
have to have It was directed by Steve Welch, which
you guys, he was the editor of New Girl. So
when you see like that really great, like you know,
like wrap that happened during like Nick's cancer episode, or
like wonderful, amazing things that have happened a lot of
it always has to do with in the edit. And
that was the genius of Steve Welch, and he got
(02:45):
to direct this episode, which is so cool when an
editor gets a direct because they know the shots, they
know what they're looking for. They have a different insight
and perspective and lens on things, which is why I
think this episode is so funny because our editor got
to direct, really got to get all the goods. And
Sophia Lear wrote it, who's one of the funniest, kindest,
most talented women out there. So such a good one. Okay,
(03:07):
tell us about it a.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Long oh yeah. But I'll also say on Steve Welsh front,
you know, as an editor, you're right. He knows all
the shots, all the angles, he knows exactly what he's
gonna use in the edit it, and I respected him
from start to finish. Jake Johnson, on the other hand,
was like, I'm not listening to some du like. He
couldn't give Jake acting notes. He wouldn't allow it. He
was just like, Jake was like, dude, stick to editing.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Why are you dragging us into this podcast war.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
No, there is no podcast war. This is two separate podcasts.
I'm just speaking the truth because that's what this Because
I love the fans so much, we do this episode,
we do this podcast. I'm only speaking. They need to
know the truth, they need to know the facts. So
let's get into this episode, all right. Jake hates the fans,
So Jess hires coach to be the coach of her
school's volleyball team, but when she gets promoted to vice principal,
(03:54):
her first task is to fire coach the coach. Meanwhile,
Nick and Instant pretend to be lawyers from the make
belief firm of Cooper, Bishop and Ferguson and represent Schmid
in a personal injury lawsuit he's facing. Meanwhile, back at
the bar, CEC has her eyes set on a nice
young man with an accent named Buster.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Oh my gosh, so much to say on that, by
the way, so much backstory to that.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Yeah, when we get to that, are you going down?
You're about to get busted because of Buster? That is.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
All right. When we come back, we are gonna dive.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
It and we j hates the fans, so okay, so
I love this part. Nick is waiting in the kitchen
(04:55):
with a fly swatter, right, He's just just waiting for
a fly, which I've done. I have one, and I
the flies are never around when you need them, do
you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Let me just say this about the fly swatters the
best ones and the cruelest ones, because it's not a
fair fight. Are the electric ones?
Speaker 1 (05:17):
Yeah, that's what I have.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Yeah, and you don't lose that fight. But it's it's
it's an unfair advantage in the man versus fly.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
Sometimes you get a fly so strong that it's electricity resistant.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Comes up and slaps you.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
It goes and it'll play dead, it'll play possum.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Turn into a superhero maybe.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Oh no, it mutates when you're electrocuted. You electric It's like.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
The superhero thing that you're gonna do. Everybody's like, oh,
Lamar's next up is to become like the next big superhero,
like a Robert Downey junior thing. You could be fly Man.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
You mean the Fly from by Jeff Goldblum. That's already
been done, Jeff already done superheroes The Fly. Jeff.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
All right. So then Jess lets the boys know she
got coach a job at her school and and it's
his first day and he is like not happy about it,
doesn't want to go to the job, hates children, thinks
this is going to be a terrible idea, but he
needs the paycheck, so he's going to show.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Up, that's right, and he does, and in coach fashion,
he is aggressively screaming at these.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Kids, which by the way, made me laugh so much
because Damon has what nine twenty you know, he has.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
More than he has more than Nick Cannon. He has
more than Nick Cannon.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
He has seventy children.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Yeah, something like that. That bought be doing it anyway.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
And no one loves children more than Daman. He's just
the absolute like best dad, he's the kindest uncle everything.
And it was so funny to have him play like
this scene where he's screaming and so.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Mean, yes, keep running or out will murder your family. Yeah,
that's fine.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Crazy, that's so crazy, so dark, so perfect for her exactly.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Now meanwhile, Schmid, you know, he had nowhere to put
all of his stuff, you know, so he you know,
he you know, they give him, they give him bit
of advice and say, hey, let's move all of your
furniture to the storefront that you bought or that you're
renting out. And when they come when they go in,
a dude walks in randomly and is like, hey, I
(07:11):
want to buy that. But you know, he's like, it's
not for sale.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
It's a storage unit.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
It's a storage unit. And Nick is like, you gotta
do it, you gotta do it, you gotta do it.
He does it. But the problem is the guy then
goes and trips, just like Winston did earlier. And Winston's
a great guy, is not gonna sue. But this guy,
he's about to take him to court.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
And you're playing the piano very beautifully, I assume not
for real.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Thank you for saying so.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
That means a lot just banging around on there. And also,
by the way, I will say this and I love
this this choice by the show, the way he tripped
felt like he wanted the lawsuit.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Yeah, I know people who done that right.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
It was like the throwing themselves in front of like
a parked car kind of situation. Oh so that I
like that little setup in that choice. Didn't just genuinely
fall and hurt himself. Right, we're already on like your jerk.
We hope these guys can figure out how to get
out of this lawsuit. I like that choice for our show.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
You know what, let me go back and rewind why
I forget Nick. Nick didn't tell him to do it? Now,
Nick told him not to do it.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
Okay, another one of your bits of just trying to
make Jake Johnson responsible now for this thing happening in
the show.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
No, no, I forgot he told him it was illegal.
He told him was illegal. That's one.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
He's like, he tried to actually give him good advice.
And then Schmid gets himself into a pickle because that's right,
he's trying to sit there and now make money. And
then the guy falls and now he's going to sue
the business, but there is no business. It's just a
shimitty exactly.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Yeah, Schmid tells him that he's not going to listen
to to a guy who pronounces uh bounces the G
in lasagna. Now just then, okay, so we've already moved
past that. Now we're back at the teacher's lounge.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Yeah. Yeah, Coach is actually loving the up.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Yeah, it fits him.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
He's digging it. And then, oh gosh, the biology teacher
needs some tech support. So Jess helps him and then
looks at him and says, you know, I can see
your entire search history, right, and then he's like, I'm
a biology teacher, it's already sir.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Now Coach is curious. He's like I see you doing
all this stuff. You're you're the tech support now. And
she's like, oh, I do a lot of stuff to
help around the school, mowing the lawn, cleaning off graffiti.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
She's trying to earn goodwill so that she hopefully gets
chosen to be vice vice principal. I've just been trying
to earn the goodwill. Also, by the way, what did
she say, like, I love corn on the cob, but
I don't go around like painting it on.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Yeah okay, But Coach's advice is, you know, you can't
just wait around. You gotta take it. Okay, you gotta
you gotta go get the job that you want. And
so in his metaphor, he you know, he's in front
of a volleyball net and uh inn in typical jests fashion,
she's getting aggressive, but she can't hit the ball over
the net and she instead hits herself in the face
(10:11):
with it.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
Yeah, and he says, this is that moment with Damon
when he's like, I will not laugh. Made me think like,
if somebody gets hurt like trips and falls, you know,
and gets hurt, is your nervous reaction to laugh?
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Yeah? No, it depends on how bad they get hurt.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
If it's like it depends on who or how bad
they got hurt.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Yes, I mean it's what the accident is. If somebody
like falls downstairs, No, I'm not laughing. I'm gonna go
try to make sure that person's okay. If somebody gets
hit in the face of the volleyball, I am in tears.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
I'm not I don't laugh at all. I have such
like mamma instignum. I'm like, oh my god, oh no,
running over, are you okay? But I know a lot
of people that have the nervous laughter thing, no matter
what the situation or who it is. Their grandma could
fall down the stairs and they're just like like they
do a weird giggles squeaks out and it's so odd.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Oh. When I laugh, it's not nervous laughter at all.
It's intentionally I'm finger pointing. I'm going, you little stupid, You're.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Going all the way back to the to the playground.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Now. Meanwhile, we go back into the loft, and you
know they come inside with Winston and uh and Schmidt,
I believe. And I don't know why this line makes
me laugh so much. When Winston says there is no
justice for the hebrew Man, not in these United States.
(11:36):
Winston's like, hey, man, I can't get enough of this
legal drama that schmids in and the whole that's what
this is what courtroom brown?
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Courtroom brown? And you know what, they're not wrong. That's
an amazing nickname.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
I loved also the little moment where he was like
my name and Nick's like Winston and you like, don't react,
don't react. He's like courtroom and.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Then what.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Grown men?
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Grown men?
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Yes, but okay, not a revelation, but okay, but you.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Know he is still without a lawyer. You know, he's
got to go to court. And Winston suggests that Nick
should be Schmidt's lawyer. You know, he did pass the bar.
You know something you don't forget. According to him, it's
like riding a bike.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
I've never related to something more. I hate that expression.
It's just like riding a bike. Yeah, because sure I
can ride a bike, but if you put one like
underneath me, now, like go go get on that bike
and go ride around the block, I'd be like, well,
just give me a couple of minutes.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
Yeah, in a warm up. Oh but a warm up
for real, Like how do I break again? Is this
the kind of break with your feet or you get
the handheld in private?
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Could I just like figure it out?
Speaker 1 (12:51):
So?
Speaker 2 (12:52):
By the way, fair, if it is like riding a bike,
give him a minute to like familiarize himself with something
isn't in a while? Yes, expression works if that's the
takeaway from the expression. But if it's easy in child's play,
this expression needs to be reworked. That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
Now. Nick is agreeing to be his lawyer, but he
says only if he says please and has a retainer
of five dollars. He tells him four. It's like you
got a deal.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
Give me some skin. So funny this thank him being
a lawyer, but also this negotiation. Okay, know this is
one of the most awkward, funny moments in New Girl history.
Jess marches in. She's now all fired up, and she says, uh,
I want to be I want you to take advantage
of me.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
She's like, I'm young, energetic, take advantage of me, take
full advantage of me, and uh I love his response.
He's like, ah, man, I'm really only into Asians right now.
We've all been there, am I right?
Speaker 2 (14:03):
And then he explains his backstory, like where it all started.
It's so bunny, and then she clarifies they both feel
very weird. And then he's so excited. Who wants the
vice principal job, the thankless jobs of being a VP?
(14:25):
But she wants it. She's like, what a dream. Here
you go and gives her all the files. Take a
look at our finances. Let's start to figure out the school.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Yeah, exactly, And coach tries to dump gatorade in her
or coach of aide, say coach of aide or something
like that.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
I don't know, but I loved how it was. Damon.
You can tell his improving is running out. He's like,
it's only gonna get on your dress, on your face
and your makeup in your hair. Oh gosh.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Now the mock trial. The mockb so fun Nick Schmidt, Winston.
They do a mock trial once they won't answer next
questions and he's getting frustrated and Schmidt fires him on
the spot and immediately Jake, give me another chance.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
So funny the way he says it too, it's so
Jake versus Nick. That moment was like smulisious, so funny. Okay,
this let's talk about it.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
Let's talk about the pedophilia drink.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
Oh my gosh. And this is with the absolutely crazy, talented,
super funny Ben Falcone.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Yeah, he's got great.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Taste in women in real life Mary Timlis McCarthy. He
plays this so funny to me that I can catch
myself having to like, I kept like biting my tongue
with the inside of my cheek because Ben was making
me laugh. Hm hmm, so hard. So some fun facts
(16:03):
is that I feel like they cast an Australian because
of trent O'Donnell. Right, It was this thing about like
the handsome guy or whatever, and so they cast an Australian.
But Buster is Brett Bear's son's real name. He named
a character after his kid, which a lot of writers
and creators do. They put family names into the show.
(16:24):
And Buster is his real son's name.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
Yeah, and then they and then they hired this guy
and he happens to be a child. We're back to
the character.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Now, back to the character, back to the Aussie Buster.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
And I love that. I mean, let's just be honest, Ceci,
this ain't okay, it's not okay, but you did it
with a smile In her face.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
It's so weird. I remember it at the time. I
remember this table reading and I was like, what's happening?
And I didn't know. It was like from like a
big back of like, well, a thirty year old, you know,
guy dating a twenty year old girl happens. Nobody really
blinks they should, but they don't.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
And yes they do. Really in this town, you gotta
be over twenty one, that's the rule. And even then,
even then, even then, even then, if you're like twenty
two to twenty, between twenty two and twenty five at
my age, you're like, yeah, but you're.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
In your forties. I'm talking about a thirty year old man.
We were playing in our thirties right on this show,
maybe even late twenties.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
No, on season three we were in our thirties right.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
But that's it. I feel like a young thirty year
old man here in La dating a twenty year old girl.
Not too many people would blink like I said they should.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
No, I'm here to tell you as a man, Yeah,
people would blink. People would people would definitely make comments
about it.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
It's weird. Don't do it, you, guys, it's weird. They're
babies and the fact that we did it on the show,
I was like, this is weird. He's a baby. I
felt weird doing it in character. You can see my
face where like there's i'man honest, like very little chemistry
between me and this guy. Because in my brain, I'm like,
it's a baby.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Well, think about it this way. Hanah knows a baby,
I know. And if if they wrote a storyline that
Winston starts dating in underage Girl, because the whole point
is that he's underage and he can't be in the bar.
If Winston all of a sudden was like, well, I'm
still gonna like see her out. I'm gonna forget your
fake ID. I'm just gonna still go out and go
(18:27):
on a date with you, it would be it wouldn't
be able to get aired. It wouldn't be able to
get aired.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
I just it would get aired.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
No, there's no way, because then the rest of the
fans would turn on the Winston character.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
I feel like it would get aired. But because here's
the thing, it's America, right, Educate me about your country.
The only thing that's underage if you're not twenty one
is drinking right. Everything else well, uh, well is your legal.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
Right, yeah, okay, but you know, still.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
I agree with you, but I'm just saying nothing illegal
is happening.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
So you'd be like, oh man, but it's weird to drink.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Yeah, I think it's tright. That's why she's like, you
want to go get like a soda? She asked that.
I was like, CC, girl, go talk to these writers
that are writing this for you.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
There is always a.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Way to go for a soda.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
It's not okay, Hannah. This has always been my motto.
If she can't handle alcohol, you can't handle this.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Bang.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
You can't handle it.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Okay. So moving on, we are back at the school.
What a rightway. We're back at school and they just
says there's a big issue in the budget. They've got
to make some big cuts and hi, mom, and Principal
Foster says, well, look, you got it, then get rid
of the most recent hire and that's coach.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Coach.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
So Jess is absolutely devastated. It's not what she thought
she was going to have to do, but it's part
of the job. Now she's in a pickle, and so
she goes to the gym to fire coach. At the
exact moment, all of the students that have fallen so
in love with coach are presenting him with a varsity
jacket that reads coch coach.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
Coach, coach coach mmmmmm. And he leaves and he's crying, crying,
and Damon's a Damon's a like method actor. He was
actually crying.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
He can cry at a dime.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
He can't, he can't. Now. The next morning, obviously nobody
want to talk to her, don't want to deal with this.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
No, I know, wait, you gave by the way, it
was a real, real closed squint.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Yeah, it's either onions in an atmosphere, her.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Face really placid.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
He just.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
You didn't even have like disdain on your face. It
was just the squint. It was very impressive. It's hard
to do.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Because you get that. You get that, You get that
from your mom when you act it up when as
a kid and she just gives you the squint and you're.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Like, oh no, there was more going on in the face.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
I'm gonna get my beat.
Speaker 2 (21:08):
All of it would happen, just squint get bigger, though.
You get the look for the look you gave her
the squint.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
You know what. The squint also says something ain't right
about you there's something else going on.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
I learned something today, right, I.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
See what this is this whole time. Yeah, that's what
that is. And then uh Nick comes in and she's
trying to get that she's trying to she's trying to
get some advice. He's trying to, you know, have a
talk with someone. And then you know, obviously Nick comes
in and Nick tells just that uh Schmidt fired him,
all right, and he'll never get to use his nineteen
(21:49):
dollars briefcase study bought, you know what I mean, So
ignore it completely, ignoring the fact that she just fired coach.
Like he he doesn't know this yet because he's got
his own problems going on. He's got his own thing
going on.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
He got fired. She's firing someone. Yeah, they both need
each other, they can see each other. This is a
big moment of disconnect, which leads us into our next episode.
But a big moment of disconnect. And then he does
a very weird takeaway. You're right, no one can stop me,
and he's off.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
That's right, He's going to go put on his power suit.
Now we're we're we're in a mediation. Have you ever
been in mediation? Is rough?
Speaker 2 (22:29):
I never have, have you? No, not really, Uh, you
have no experience. We can tell you it's rough. I have.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
I have been a mediation before. You know, parental stuff,
co parenting. You got to go through the mediation. So
nobody actually gets everything that they want. And especially in
this scenario when you got two idiots representing you, I.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
Will say, man, when he carried it off.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
He's the smart he's the smartest character, very smart.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
He came in there with the swag, bravado, fake it
till you make it zero imposture syndrome, and just use comedy.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Now, let me tell you something to disarm them. His
joke whereas is that whether it's in the office or
at the meeting, it's all Billable. Yep, that's how they
think it's true. That's how they think. Stay out of court,
you guys. They're just trying to take your money.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
It's not a jail seat of court. Life advice for
about static court.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
And then Nick obviously is not good at it. He
asked them if they should get into it or just
take their pants off, and nobody laughs because they don't
get it. I love his line of questioning, though, his
line of questioning, he just says, so, what is uh
your home address? Did? He tells her? He goes no
further questions, Oh my gosh, where we were back at
(23:56):
the bar?
Speaker 2 (23:57):
Yeah, and and coach Coach and jack Us are getting
drunk and crying and sad. He said that he can't
work with the kids anymore. She said that she had
to fire them. Then they're talking about how much they
love the kids, and they're spiraling and bonding and connecting
over it because he's missing the game. He's coached them
(24:17):
for this big game. He's missing the game. And then
all of a sudden, with some liquid courage, they're like,
forget it, let's go. We're going to the game.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
Were gon't do it, We're gonna make it happen.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
Also, the things that they say about these children during
this ramble is some of the meanest stuff I've ever
heard said about kids. But their delivery is that they
love the kids so much, and it is hysterical.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
Pasadena is a bunch of bitch.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
Crazy did get Pasadena? Sorry, Pasadena, We love you Pasadena crazy.
Then this okay, the cutback to this stenographer reading almost
out of pocket insane thing, but then ends at the
end of what she's reading is Look, I'm gonna buy
some time or something. I'm gonna ask her to read back. Oh,
(25:12):
she caught all the stuff that they had said under
their breath, and now she's read out loud to the room.
Classic Nick Miller, just his own undoing.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
Oh wow. Now the plaintive say, the place's attorney says
that you know what, we will settle for a twenty
thousand dollar.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
Yeah, he says, you're not real lawyers. This is a joke.
We want twenty grand and that's it. You have no
legs to stand on. And then they kind of scuffle.
They go out in the hall Schmidt and Nick, and
Nick says this is all part of a plan. You
got to trust me.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Mm hmm. And then they go inside. Actually, but you
know what, let's just pause there on the plan. Let's
skip on over to the volleyball game. Yeah, we're a coach.
I mean, they're getting smoked. These kids are so bad,
Like they're just the most uncoordinated little assholes that you've
ever seen.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
Do you coach children's sports? Because you sound like it.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
No, I refuse, I refuse. I know how bad I
am at certain sports. I don't want no part of that,
I can I can sit there and tell a kid
you gotta do this. I can't. I could never do it.
So I'm hoping Lily, like, I hope she likes sports,
but I hope that's another dad or another mom who's like,
I'll coach.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
I'll be like, thank you, just say I'll bring the snacks.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
That's all you have to do all day, kidding me,
orange slices, come on, bud light, I'll bring it. Don't matter,
don't matter but light. But and because what well weed
is medicinal, right, it helps heal.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
Uh, I'm gonna find something else for you to do sports.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
Okay. So they're at the volleyball game. Coach comes in,
they're getting smoked, grabs the whistle and just starts barking
orders at him. He's going, he's going, he's amping them
up and it is working now. Meanwhile, Jess tells Principal
Foster that she is going to VP the way she
wants to do it, because he's sitting over there looking
like what is coach doing here? And she's like, yeah,
(27:15):
we're gonna figure it out.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
Yeah, other budget cuts, we can figure out other ways
to make money and to save money and now she
wants to think outside of the box and show her
true skills and save coaches job. It's a very awesome moment,
and the team scores a point. That's right, and everybody
starts celebrating.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
Like what a bunch of losers. No, I'm kidding. It's
all about participation. We know nobody cares really good at
everybody give me a jam.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
So now we are back. We're back in this mediation room.
Nick delivers a speech standing and then he gives Schmid
some loose screws. Then he does the biggest pratfall ever.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
Justin Long would be proud.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
So proud Genslinger would be like.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
John Rid Oh yeah, and he falls. He claims negligence
while grabbing his neck. He tells the other lawyers that
he is gonna file petition after petition, overloading them with
paperwork and uh and they kind of cave and as
(28:23):
he walks out, he can't well. Well, first he tells
them to pay the fee. He tells them to pay
very smart though.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
Basically he's like, I'm just going to be a nuisance.
This will never end. I will dedicate my life. I've
got nothing but time and one case I will be
your living nightmare, or you guys, as a law for firm,
absorb this cost, pay your client, and I go away today.
I don't know that would really work, but not a
(28:49):
terrible plan.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
Yeah, if you don't feel like dealing with it, you
know what I mean, Like if you don't feel like
because at the end, if he does, indeed, when they
get they don't, he doesn't get to pay their fees. Yeah.
I think that's how all works, and it's only going
to cost him a lot. Anyway. I love the fact
that when they leave Winston Handsome his business cards ye
play in the big leagues. Turns out it's just a
(29:13):
baseball card that's pretty.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
Good, strong, open, strong clothes for Winston.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
I gotta say, not the bar then this.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
Weird tag it's I mean, it's so where CC is
going to go out with a baby and the guys
ras her as they should.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
Yeah, as they should. You know, it's it's weird. It's
so weird that again, I don't know how to I
don't know what to say about it other than I'm troubled.
I don't want to continue down this journey of encouraging.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Your I would like to say for the record, I've
never dated anyone younger than me or weirdly older than me.
I've always stayed in the age appropriate bucket. Well, just
a animal.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
Well, you played it too well. You played it really.
Speaker 2 (29:59):
Well, so I think you could see my awkwardness in the summer.
But it was actually a very cute. End of this episode,
Nick walks back into law. He finds just passed out,
covered in paperwork. She's wearing a velvet rabbit hat. I
don't know if you saw that.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
Yes, I was like that money, and then.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
I was like, oh, is he going to be bummed
because he's won his case and she's sleeping. But he
loves her so much, and he all he says is
real sweet.
Speaker 1 (30:26):
He holds her hand and lays down next to her.
That was special. Let's go to a commercial break so
we can keep thinking about how special that moment. And
we are Jk's the fans. So let's go ahead, and
(30:49):
let's go ahead and mess around a little bit here,
shall we? Oh?
Speaker 2 (30:52):
Mine?
Speaker 1 (30:53):
Uh, have you guys ever represented yourself in court or
small claims court? Why? And how did it go?
Speaker 2 (31:00):
Oh? Can I say something really quick about this short answer? No?
But my favorite TV show for a very long time
Daily viewer Daily It's People's Court. I've seen all the judges.
There's been like nine judges on that show over the years. Okay,
(31:22):
I've seen them all. I have my favorites. I won't
say it aloud who my favorites were. But I sat
there and watched like Civil Court in America for many years,
Daily loved People's Court. And I just have to say,
if someone wasn't like a fender bender, little pickle, no
real injuries, oh I'm not a bad person to call.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
Oh so because of your TV.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
Experience, because of my TV experience.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
Well, I gotta say I wouldn't. You wouldn't be my
first call her. I call her real lawyer, one of
those people you see on a billboard or a bus stop.
Speaker 2 (31:57):
I did apply to law school and did not get it.
I would I should say that all.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
About Oh boy, no g ed in a law school.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
I have two degrees. I just didn't get into law school.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
Sure sure, uh uh so I have. I've been the
small claims court when I was very young. My first apartment,
me and a couple buddies. They were trying to keep
our security deposit. I want to say that was the case,
and we needed that money back, and and the issues
(32:27):
with the house that were issues were not really our problem.
It was their problem for not being great landlords. All
kinds of stuff that happened, and we took him to
court and we won.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
Get out mean one, mean one impressive.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
Yeah, yeah, that it's fun. But yeah, besides that, No,
I am taking Jake Johnson to small claims court. That
is a real thing. That is a real thing. Well,
we can discuss it later. But you know the lobster, No,
it's not over the lot. Why are you bringing up
evidence that you don't need. Don't don't do that. Don't
bring up ship that's gonna cost me in court.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
So I thought, well, I was gonna say that his
treatment of your gift, I thought you were suing him.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
No, not for that, it's for other stuff. And it's
deep and it's truggling. Have you been fired? Have you
ever had to fire a friend from a job. If so,
what's the best way to do that. I've never been
a boss of anybody like that. I don't think.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
No, I've never had to fire anybody. I'd be terrible
at it. I'd be like Jess, I'd be like, what
other things can we do to make sure that, like
you stay in this job. I would be terrible at
it if I.
Speaker 1 (33:33):
Had to fire Nanny's.
Speaker 2 (33:35):
Yeah, I had that go not great, not great.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
It's it's you know, then I getting along my daughter.
You know, it's toddlers don't get along with a lot
of people. You know what I'm saying, But like this
one in particular, Uh, I'll just fire to Nanny's one
of which did the ultimate no no. And it's my
thing is if you're taking my daughter to the park, yeah,
(33:59):
if you're taking there anywhere out of this house, yeah,
put your locations.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
On on your phone for sure.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
Turn that on. And when I FaceTime answer for call answer.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Is that optional?
Speaker 1 (34:11):
Yeah? Yeah? And she knew this.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:15):
And then one time she leaves and I go, like
five minutes five minutes after they leave the house, she
says she's going to the park. I'm getting some work
Done'm just literally on a zoom or something like this,
and I keep checking the phone to see her location
and it's not on, and I'm like, what the hell.
So then I'm like, hey, guys, I hold one second
and I go call her. She doesn't answer FaceTime. She
(34:35):
doesn't answer. An hour goes by, and I lost it,
Like I was, you have no idea, You have no idea.
When she got back to my house, it was like
it was all hell broke loose. And she was just like, what,
I'm sorry, I forgot I just you know, I didn't
(34:55):
I left my phone in the car. I was he
and it's just and and I was like, my sister
was like, you gonna have to I'm gonna need you
to go on the other room and I'll handle it.
Speaker 2 (35:06):
You know what's hard though, here's the thing, and your
sister was right to do that because it was apparent
when moments like that happen, you are not in your
right mind. It's all visceral. It's primal, right, it's ancestral,
like your bones are, like somebody took my child. Doesn't
matter if it's rational or not. You can't rationalize with
somebody when something primitive is happening in your body. Yeah,
(35:28):
it's it's you're you're you're not in the right space.
Speaker 1 (35:31):
Right And so yeah, so I had to I had
to fire her. Yeah, uh, do you both plan on
coaching your children in sports? We talked about this.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
We did talk about it. You're in now and we
thought snacks. I also don't know if this is going
to be your.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
You're not going to give them drugs.
Speaker 2 (35:48):
You know what you should do? You should be the
guy organized like the trans pope, get like a.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
Cool like, oh yeah, I get a sprinter van, get
like a ya.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
Right, maybe this is the vibe that's cool.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
You feel that spreader van with like orange slices marijuana.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
Okay, someone else's next next? Fired up you guys? What
a funny episode? Honestly, yeah, anytime the three of you
guys are locked in a room together trying to get
away with something, it is comedy gold. The just Coach
storyline is great and funny, my more heartwarming, let's just
(36:26):
be real. The ccbuster one is weird. Ben Falcone though,
came in and was so committed it's made it hysterical.
But the three of you guys doing this legal drama
one of the funniest things. Completely forgot about this episode.
What a fun were you watching?
Speaker 1 (36:40):
Oh yeah, thank you guys, Thank y'all for listening. We
really really appreciate it. Dope shirt, you're rocking there, Hannah.
As always, please make sure you follow us on IG
at the mess Around Pod. You got questions, you got videos,
you got anything you want to show us, say to
us or concerns. The mess Around Pod at gmail dot
(37:01):
com is available for you. We'll be back next week
episode three twenty Mars Lending.
Speaker 2 (37:09):
I would also like to say the week after that,
mark your calendars. I want to see you setting out
those invites from your calendars because three twenty one Big
News Max Greenfield will be joining us for the episode.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
That's right, bap peace.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
That was the mess Around in iHeartMedia Production.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
Our executive producer is Joel Monique. Our senior producer is
Abu Zafar. Bei Wang provided engineering and editing services.
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Additional production from Daniel Goodman, Wendy Heisler, and Kyle Shevron.
Our theme song was written and composed by Ronald Jukebox Jackson.
Speaker 1 (37:49):
Catch you next time.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
Bye,
Hosts And Creators
Lamorne Morris
Hannah Simone
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