March 25, 2025 • 37 mins
Jess wants to throw a dance for her students, but none of the teachers will volunteer to help. Luckily, the loft mates are here to help capture a saboteur. Lamorne and Hannah discuss the proper name for a mixture of soda.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:18):
Yeah, I eyepatch perhaps the pirate Oh wait, okay wait,
I just want to say this out loud. Okay, very
excited about this episode, so I just want to say
this out loud to you, Lamark. Yes, our next episode
that we're going to do is the finale. It's Cruise, okay,
(00:39):
mm hmm. I will be up in Canada mm hmmm
when we record that episode. And I have this idea
because it's the season three finale, right, and I remember
shooting that on the Queen Mary. Queen Mary, Yeah, being
stuck on that big, a haunted, creepy boat, and I
(01:03):
thought for Cruise when we do the podcast, and don't
I know what you're gonna say, so just like, just
try to not destroy me right now, Okay, just try.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
To be kind.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
I'm gonna say the words and you're gonna start. I
will do the podcast from my boat. Stop. I see,
you can't help yourself. And you can do it from
like a flamingo floating in your pool, and we can
just do the podcast on water and record Cruise because
(01:40):
Cruise was one of the craziest, made no sense, insane,
ridiculous New Girl episodes ever to record. And I feel
like our podcast should reflect it when we record. Now
you can make fun of me for having a.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Boat, Hannah. Are you hearing yourself right now? The elitism
you you just said, I'm going to record the podcast
from my boat. Hannah. Do you know how hard it
is to get a boat? First of all, let's talk
about a boat and how much how much the maintenance
is in order to keep a boat. You know what
(02:14):
I mean. People don't even own boat. They charter these
boats because it's billionaires don't even own a lot of
these boats because they because they go. It's a waste
of money. Hannah. You have so much money that you
are leaving one home to go to another home and
then go record from your boat in another country. I
just want you to sit with this in this moment,
(02:35):
and shame on you for all those years that I
that I harassed Zoe about having a private jet. I mean,
she doesn't and you are sitting here thinking, Oh, I
have an even worse investment. It's a boat, and you
never said about it.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
It's a worse investment. Well, because I know who I'd
be talking to if I told you leave me and
my little boat alone. Here's the thing, here's the tip
of it. You're gonna sit there and you're gonna record
that podcast me from your flamingo floating in your pool,
and you're gonna see me on a kayak.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
I got a pool, but I ain't got no flamingo floating.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
So that's my pitch for how we record the cruise
because that episode even wants but recording is stressing me out.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Hannah, your WiFi is already bad enough.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
This is true. This is true. I can't cop to
how good the podcast will be.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Although I did just get asked. I did just get
asked if I wanted to be on UH and I
can't make it to be on an episode of a
show that I hadn't seen yet called Below Deck? What oh?
If you want to do it?
Speaker 1 (03:46):
The morn you got asked to be on below Deck?
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Yes, they said, I'm going to pass out. Can you
do it instead of me? I'll do it two days
in UH Where are they going to be the Caribbean?
Two days in April?
Speaker 1 (04:05):
They they will destroy you. That's the point of this show.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
What do you mean destroy you?
Speaker 1 (04:09):
They'll like it's fun, you get to go with your
friends and whatever, but they kind of that's the fun
of it is. They kind of gonna tear you down, Yeah,
a little bit, like that's if.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
They tried.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Testicles out. What you're gonna say, Oh, that's so fun though, Yeah,
but if you want to do it, Hannah invitation.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
I don't want to do it because I watched the
show and I'm too sensitive to put myself out there
like that.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Anyway, Let's lets jump into this episode, shall we. The
episode is three twenty two Dance Dance.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
I remember this episode.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Oh, such a good one, such a funny.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
One, such a funny one.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Now, in this episode, just calls on the troops to
help out with chaperoning her school dance. As you can imagine,
this goes horribly, resulting in Nick getting a buzz off
a deadly soda concoction, Schmidt challenging a student to a
foot race, and Winston being flocked by a bunch of
teenage girls, leaving Coach and c C to pick up
the pieces when the dances in Jeopardy Love Me Not
(05:15):
Him Fastball directed by Trent O'Donnell, Bara mc adaman, and
Ryan Coe, two of the greats. Two of the greats.
(05:37):
Trent's also one of the greats. Whenever I see Trent's
name on it. When he's directing, I always know that
I will have an easy time shooting. I know he's
he knows your strengths, your weaknesses. He's not going to
push you to do stuff that you can't do or
it's going to make you uncomfortable. And he always it
(05:57):
makes you more comfortable than you start to stuff that
you probably didn't think you you know, we're capable of doing.
So whenever I see his name on something, I go, huh,
this is gonna be easy week.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
He's the greatest. He's the greatest. There's a reason why
he is basically, you know, like a cast member a
New Girl. He's like such a central figure in the
New Girl family.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
He's the best.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
So another great episode and I think they probably gave
us one to him because it was like a trickier one.
Wasn't in the loft, It wasn't the usual stuff. Yeah,
it had so many little moving parts to it, and yeah,
of course he's it's a great episode.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Good job, Trent, Great job Trent.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
So we're on the heels of a breakup, right jessin
Nika broken up. It's over and it's out. Everybody knows,
but life goes on, and work goes on.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
That the al is how many times they break up?
A few? So stupid. I love when she unrolls the
banner for the school dance at the top of the thing,
when you guys are sitting down the top of the episode,
and it's a lot of evers. Love is forever, ever, ever, ever, ever,
and there are twelve evers, and it's very clear that
(07:16):
we are in a show about relationships. Here we go again,
Here we go again. Shocker. They broke up and she's
trying to deal with it, and she wants to have this.
She wants to have this school dance. It's very very
important to her, you know, she wants the students to
have an incredible time. And in that moment, Coach Winston
(07:37):
and Schmidt they walk into the living room, make picks
Jess up and he calls.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Her this hug. Are we gonna talk about it? What's happening?
Why did she goes so limp because.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
She doesn't want to be touched in that moment and
she wasn't expecting a hug. So she's just like, you're
gonna do what you're gonna do.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
I guess she does the toddler flop and.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Which it's like, uh, he's got number two locked and loaded,
hard orsoft. Such a strange line, Such a strange line.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
This next scene in the makeshift sauna where they're having
a Schmitz was so funny to me and caught me
off guard because I did not remember this ever being
on our show. Sexual Tension tweeting Schmitt and Nick. Oh yeah,
oh in your bathroom, sweating it out together.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Just sweating it out Nick. You know, Nick says he
misses goofing around with Jess. They've come up with a
new rule where they can't be in the room alone
together unless it's with Winston because he naturally takes the
sexual tension out of a room. You know, I take
a lot of this personal. I do. I take a
(08:51):
lot of this personal, which is why and there is
the writer's fault. So what I did was I made
it my life's mission, and I've completed it to sleep
with every new girl writer. How's that sexual you guys?
Speaker 1 (09:07):
I mean, Berkeley told me you were one of the best.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
He's got that long hair.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
This bit that Nick talks about where he's now trying
to start to take care of himself is eating a
lot of salads. Yeah, just mainly the proteins, which is
just chopped up pieces of ham and no lettuce, because
lettus is disgusting a huge chunks of ham.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
You know what. That's what Lily does. That's what Lily does.
So well, I'll make like a like a little salad
for her, but it's really just chopped cucumbers. I'll have
like like pulled chicken and like like a little bit
of rice beans. I'll put it on like a little thing,
and I'll call it a salad. And and I'll be
(09:52):
paying attention while she's only eating the chicken, right, and
then she'll say, I hate my salad today, And I'll go, Lily, no,
you didn't. He just ate the chicken.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
You said the chicken.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
She said that the cucumbers, because the cucumbers have seeds
in it. She goes, it's got the I don't want it.
It's got the white things on it. That's the cue cover.
But I don't want it.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
That's what cucumber is.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
I don't want it. Oh man.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
But anyway, Schmid is talking to Nick while they're schmitzing,
I'm schmid sing is confused because you understand how he's
he could want a twenty year old over his ripe berries. Yep.
Then when he comes in, he says he needs a Schmitz, and.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Then he asks why his sweat smells like asparagus. Schmidt
confirms that he does. Take the sexual attention out of
her room and wins. It's confused, and the morning was confused,
quite honestly, because he says he heats up every room
he walks into. You put him next to a dozen eggs.
They had it. Then Nick turns to Schmidten lets him
(10:58):
know that there was no sexual attention before which came in.
Oh man, they gonna do it. They're gonna do it
one day now, Jess, she addresses the other teachers slash
chaperones for the dance, and then she thanks them. None
of them volunteered, none of them now just is paying
(11:22):
everyone in custom hats that she made that say chaperone,
except for Gary the janitor. Gary says being the janitor
isn't his whole identity. It calls just the third hottest
white teacher. So funny. And then this is when we
get there. This is when we involve coach in the mix,
(11:44):
because you know, coach knows how I mean, they're friends.
You know, he knows how important the dance is to Jess,
And he says, these kids aren't gonna get away with anything.
If they want to bang, they're gonna have to bang
through me.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Then he says it again.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
He goes, if they're gonna burning up the break through me,
just talk to one of her students, Wendy. Wendy, her
mom is making her go to the school dance. Wendy
is going to wear a shark shirt to the dance.
It's clear Wendy does not want to go to the dance. Yeah,
(12:20):
that was kind of like me a little bit growing
up when we had these dances. I would show up
with every excuse not to go.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
To them because I was like, that was me too.
I would never wanted to go to No one ever
asked me to dance.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
Well, they knew you, I had no.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Really, we're got out to the eleven year old. That
girl can dance, Oh my gosh. No, no one ever
dansked me to dance at the school dance. And I
was a kid, and so I would feel so so shy,
so funny how you look back now and now I'm like,
thank goodness.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
And Hannah cannot dance. We're gonna go to break and
we come back. We're going to discuss why.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
She never.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
And we are back. We're we I mean, this is
going on. This is the third.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Episode, third episode of Buster and CC. I'm telling you,
it makes me crazy. It's making me crazy at this
point just watching it is making me crazy. And I
actually enjoyed the fact now that the boys are just
gonna pile on and make fun of her, because long overdue,
this needs to be openly mocked.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
But you know, you're in good hands because Winston can't
get the joke out.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
A solid friend he wants, he can't bring himself.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
To do it. It's like, just come back to me,
come back to me. I got I got I got something. Yeah.
But CC is like justifying it, saying that Buster is
more of a man than all of them. Come on,
there's been a forty countries. He builds boats, he trains snakes.
I mean, come on, come on, CEC says, all the
boys do is hang out with each other like twelve
(14:09):
year old girls. Yes, men hang out with each other.
We share ideas, okay, we talk about how we're going
to like build the world.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
H huh.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
I mean a brave New World. That's what that's what
we share.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
It's definitely the Winny, Nick and Schmidt conversation.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Thank you for recognizing that. Uh yeah. And then where we're.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
We're back at the school and unbeknownst to Jess, there
is some sabotage happening. The gym is.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Locked, that's right, in a way.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
They cannot get it open, hoping that the dance will
be canceled. That was the intention of this lock by
whoever did it. Yes, but Jess will not be broken.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
No, she will not be So she calls Cecy. That's right.
She lets the boys know all the caperon's bailed on
the dance and that this is a job for men
to do. Well. They all chest bump, but when they
chest bump, they hurt Winston's shoulders. As I'm saying that,
(15:15):
I'm realizing that my shoulders.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Actually do you got an ake? Yeah? You're an impact.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
I know, I feel it. I feel the pain all
over the world, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Then this is a fun moment. It was a fun
little character moment for CC new skills, who knew she had.
But she breaks open the lock with a tire iron.
What some Mafio so kind of ass. But I love
that it's only like Schmidt who's not surprised, and it's
like delighted by it.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
Yeah, this is my favorite part. Well, I don't know
if it's my favorite part, but it's it's it's it's
right up there. Coach tells the boys that they're under
his control for the night. Yeah, that the little kids,
these bastards will hurt your feet. Start talking. It starts
Schmidt is on snack duty. It needs to make short
(16:06):
diabetic Amy gets only two cookies, she'll pass out. Schmidt's
just like she's gonna get no cookies, Like, no, she
she actually needs she needs to. And then Winston is
on dance floor duty. And then Winston says, no one's
getting pregnant.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Why so problematic?
Speaker 2 (16:26):
And then uh, Coach says that Nick isn't chapero material.
Nick says that he can he can get into kind
of a bad kid.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
You can go get into the mind. The mind is
an important Yeah, I was like the kind of bad.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
Kid Whoai says that he can get into the mind
of a bad kid and stop them before they do
anything stupid. Right before that was this the moment. This
is what I think I wrote this down with Coach
was like, we're gonna have six inches of separation, and
he does this, I'm six inches of separation and it's
(17:06):
clearly a foot log. That is a bit that I
always do when wherever we're talking like distance or length
about something. I do it in my regular life. I
do it on my other podcast. I do what I'm
talking to people, and I can't help it. Now. If
ever inches come up, I make them way bigger than
what they actually are.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
Does anyone call you out?
Speaker 2 (17:28):
Yeah, Kyle does all the time. He's like, yeah, that
checks out. That's about that's about three inches right there,
Like yeah, right anyway, which I which I do believe
co Damon improvised that moment that with his now Winston
(17:51):
hits hit the dance floor right and then call me
maybe comes on and you know, and he can't help himself.
He can't coming out of him right. And then right
before he gets into that big moment, Coach tells him
to put his heat away and he apologizes, but that's
the problem. It's too late, too late.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
The girls now middle school girls.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
The clock. Yeah, misplaced heat. You know what I'm saying.
You gotta keep that heat in your pocket and you
know what I mean. And then they start chasing him,
They start following him around like lost puppies, which reminds
I mean this shooting this episode, uh definitely felt like
when I was in middle school.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Yeah, it was very strange to do it. And it's
one of those things that's like marks the passage of time.
You start to realize like, oh, I'm I'm because real
young actors that are there on the day and you're like, oh.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
I'm I'm so old to you. Yeah, it's a.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
Weird day because we are our show never really had
children on it, and it was a weird day to
be like, oh, these are like young aspiring actors that
are like ten or eleven, so little. This to me
was so man triggering because Schmidt then talks to Tommy,
(19:11):
who is a bully and calls him out of his
name and is so mean and relentless towards Schmidt. And
you know what I loved about it though, was I'm sorry,
but there are some kids at that age that are
just awful people. Yeah, And I was like, yes, tell
the truth on that there are some kids. That's why
(19:33):
some of us got bullied at school, even at that age,
who are already fully in their personality of being awful
people to young and old alike. And I was like,
this character I love because.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
You should you should be able to At that point,
like he kept calling him a flamer, and he kept saying,
he kept he was roasting Schmidt. Yeah, at that point,
a kid, a kid should be allowed to get punched
in the throat, one solid shot. That's what life is like,
(20:05):
that's what you keep talking. Shit. I believe my.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
Strange Schmidt was. I was like, you are holding it together.
I didn't know Schmid was capable of.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
I in my mind when rewatching it, I thought, wait,
does Schmidt like hit him or something?
Speaker 1 (20:21):
I thought like for some reason, like I was like,
you stand there and take that.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Punch right, like trip him down a flight a stair,
something happens to this kid, right, But none of that happened.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
None of it happens.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Disappointing.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
Then there's another active sabotage. The lights go out justin
CC poked their head out and they see one of
the teachers running down the hall and they chase him.
CC then shows she's the toughest and they go in
to do good gop bad cops and in such funny writing.
Jess understanding of what's a good cop and what's a
(20:56):
bad cop is so funny. They're all over the place.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Oh oh yeah. He comes outside, he's uh again, trying
to prove that he could be you know, he sees
the kids outside drinking sodas He's like, you think I'm
a rone dude just short for chaperone. You think I'm
(21:22):
a ron dude? And then is that what you got?
Is like, you got any any juice? And Mary Jane,
and they give him some of the drink. He takes
a sip and he spits it out. Now, this is
something that all young kids can identify with. I'm not
sure if this was just like a dude thing when
we were kids, but we would go to the soda
machine and we would mix all of them together. And
(21:46):
when you think about it, it's actually just the same
amount of sugar just yea, it's all the same, but
the flavor, the flavor is so.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
Is it a real thing to call it a suicide?
Speaker 2 (21:59):
I don't know if that's what it was called, because.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Because I thought that what he was saying is like
when you take a step and spit it out, like
did you put something in here that could kill me? No,
I didn't realize. That's just like the name of a
mix of SODA's, Like that's what you call that.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
Yeah, that's just the name, you know what. I didn't know.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
I just thought he was like Scott scared for a
second that.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
What he could kill him? This yeah, man. But Schmid
goes back up to Tommy just to apologize to him.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
It's like, okay, you know what, oh yeah, this moment.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
But he gets on one knee and this little boy
again the Rose, It's like, I'm not going to marry you, dude.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
He had to get down on one knee, becse, that's
how small this child is. I know, to speak face
to face, that's how small this child is. And he
still gets destroyed.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
Gets destroyed by and so Schmid challenges him to a
foot race in the parking lot. Meanwhile, this group of.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
Girls hysterical, like that's what you're gonna do to prove
a point to this child you're dealing with, dudes, a
foot race.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
Day, dual challenge, old school pistols, no races, little last
and then beat them and then which is true, by
the way, that's something that we used to do.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
You know your kids, you talk tells you to a race,
you wouldn't be like, this feels unfair. Your legs are longer,
and you're a bigger No.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
No, you should be faster for you lest their Olympians.
And then meanwhile, this group of girls is grown. It's
definitely doubled in size, and they are all smitten by
everything that Winston says again, it's like life happens.
Speaker 3 (23:50):
Uh and uh, you.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
Know so c C C C is I apologize? She's
like comforting Jess.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
Yeah, they're having a real moment and it's very sweet,
and she's like, look, you gotta just let it go.
Dance isn't going to be perfect again. She knows what
this is really about, Like Jess is trying to distract
yourself from this breakup, and she's trying to do this
perfect Like love is forever moment for these these young people,
so they believe in love and aren't jaded, and it's
(24:19):
bigger than the dance and see she knows what's going on.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
Oh yeah yeah. Meanwhile, Nick is high out of his mind,
so he's jumping off of cars. He's catching mad hair
bro like the two kids show him something else. They
turned it up a little bit. The soda is one thing,
but now a pile of fireworks randomly, Uh, that's interesting
(24:43):
and could have been potentially dangerous.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
Very dangerous, like real dangerous.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
And so they they Nick says that you know, hey,
we can get into a lot of trouble for lighting
the fireworks, which is why I got our run really
fast after lighting him and he likes it. I'm not
gonna it was very underwhelming. I thought it would be
a lot more because there was a lot of fireworks there.
It was like three that went off, and I was like, oh,
(25:10):
nobody heard that.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
They were running out of time on that night. Shoot.
They're like, it's right, I do something.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
Yeah. Now Jess is with so so again we're trying
to find out who is sabotaging this this dance and
it's not until Jess sees Wendy, little girl from the
beginning who didn't want to go we wants to wear
a shark shirt to the dance. She was the culprit
(25:37):
trying to sabotage the dance party because she thought that
none of the boys wanted to dance with her. M M,
very very sad.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
In this very sweet moment habit moment happens between the
ladies CEC and Jess and Wendy. We're low key. Jess
just says CC knows a lot about men, like a
lot of about man because she's very well traveled.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
He's got some miles on her, so shaity, he's got
some miles on her.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
I was like, oh my god. It's very funny. And
as you know, an adult and you're around kids, talking
in code can sometimes get shady. You're like, what do
you actually mean? Because have you thought out what you're saying?
And when you're trying to not say what you're saying.
It's so fun and it's so sweet. And they're like,
just so you know, boys are really dumb, so don't
(26:35):
worry about what they think. And also because they're dumb,
we can use them to save the stance and still
have a great night.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
That's right, And that's what they do. That's what they do.
They call the boys. Meanwhile, they're about to race. We
come outside. We see Schmidt, who calls himself the Hebrew Cheetah,
and they do the count off. Mark gets set and
then Tommy cheats che little basket cheese. But Mitch Smidt.
(27:06):
He catches up with him because Schmid is a real
a real sprinter, you know what I mean. But out
of nowhere Winston.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
Oh, this moment's so funny.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
Smoking him because he's you know, he's flopped by twenty
different little kids. Yeah, and he runs right up next
to h He's running for his life. He's running for
his life. Nick is at the same time being pushed
in in a grocery card by his new best friends.
Strange friendship they got going on. And then Coach comes
out and blows his whistle, putting an end to all
of this.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
These are all the chaperones. Just remember, these are the
people chaperoning the dance. Are all out there causing and
encouraging chaos in the parking lot.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
Is a reason they shouldn't be. There's a reason. You know,
they were a last. They were they were a last.
They were like late additions the party. Yeah, so they
didn't get the training memo that they need. Yeah, and
Coaches letting them know, He's like, you guys are the worst,
the worst chaperones ever. And then just this is sweet.
(28:07):
I need you stupid boys. I loved it, and they
and they get on the microphone.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
Hannah, this, I don't want to talk about it, honest gosh.
I cringed and went underneath my pillows doing the rewatch.
It's so for myself. Everybody else is fine, just myself,
I cringed. And I think the reason I remember this
episode is because it was painful to do it.
Speaker 3 (28:34):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
And I think they probably eighty yard me because I
don't even know that. No, they eighty yard someone else
because I don't think I could. It was. I was
like anybody else, you guys.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
But here's what I thought. It was funny. I thought
it was funny because to me, it was very clearly
not you. It was a professional beat boxer.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
I was like my voice, you guys, Tully you Honestly,
they might have been like, hey, we'll change it, well
like auto tune it, Lamar. Can you just do this
in your ADR session to help out Hannah for.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
But then here's the part that because this is how
I know it wasn't This is how I know it
wasn't you doing it because when they when when they
put my verse in, it was so off beat because
there was no beat, There was no beat that I
was beat. Yeah, I was like Why would you add
an off beat? Why don't you just have her switch
(29:33):
it up? It's like, whoever added no disrespect? All I
was doing was this rap battles before. Yeah, that's it,
I believe so, and so I was like silent, you know,
as one of the greatest rappers of all time. I
know for a fact, I'm never off beat. So that's what.
That's what.
Speaker 1 (29:52):
Anyway, that's I never cringed, even whoever was doing it.
For me, the whole thing was so cringe to watch
for myself. It's very rare moments where I watch where
I'm just like, I need to just disappear myself. Yeah, yeah,
I agree.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
But yeah. Then finally a student brings a boombox and
then they they get the real dance party going. Schmid
danced with cc Nick dances with Jess Winston.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Just end the episode. It's a potty.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Yeah, it's a Marty. It's Marty.
Speaker 3 (30:25):
Let's go from the break, uh babe?
Speaker 1 (30:38):
Yeah, babe.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
Do you remember your first school dance? Anything in particular
stick out from that first dance?
Speaker 1 (30:45):
What I remember about my first school dance. It probably
wasn't my first school dance, but the first one I
remember it was in Cyprus, and me and my best
friend wanted to go wearing like matching outfits to the
school dance. So we went and got these green oversized
(31:08):
wide legged jeans okay, like huge, like massive wide leg
jeans and wore it with like a belt, and then
we wore it with like a really tight little white
tank top. And we both showed up and she was
(31:29):
like freckled redhead, super cute, and then me was me
and we showed up to the dance and in the
same in the same outfit, and we felt a very.
Speaker 2 (31:42):
Cool could get laughed at or people like that's cool.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
I don't know if anybody noticed or cared, but you
we felt very cool.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
Yeah, I don't quite remember my first one.
Speaker 1 (31:57):
I should say it's because we love like TLC like
those like we're like we were drawing inspiration from style
Wise and we're like, we're gonna look cool as ale
at the dance and everybody else. I think all the
girls showed up in like dresses and we were just like,
you ain't ready for this criss cross in full effect,
and they were just like nobody, nobody cares about you, guys. Stop.
(32:19):
We tried. That's what I remember my first all dance.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
You're a totally crossed out. I know, No, I can't.
I can't quite remember my It's hard, this one's, this one's.
This one is difficult because I went to a few
of dances from other people's schools. You know, girls would
invite me to those things. Nothing but nothing memorable. I
(32:42):
could tell you one memorable moment from a prom that
I went to the day, really close friend of mine.
Shout out to Alexis joy we U. I went to
her prom senior senior year, and she lived in Indiana.
So I brow to Indiana, drove her father's car, who
happened to be the preacher of our church at the time,
(33:04):
so let me borrow his Cadillac. And we were leaving
the problem and we're going to head into Chicago to
go to a like a party or whatever. And we're
in this big caravan. So we're all following this truck
that has his hazards on and it's raining out. Now
we're on the caliummet Freeway, I think right over the
river or something like that. Anyway, it's raining out. The
(33:27):
conditions are not great. This truck that I'm following swerves
out of the way last minute, and I slam on
the brakes because there's a car just sitting in the
left lane. There's two cars, none of them have their
hazards on and it's hard to see, so I noticed it.
I'm like, holy shit, slam on the brakes. I get
this close to the person and is he's standing in
(33:49):
the back of the car.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
Ah.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
I get this close to him. The car behind me
hits me.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
I stopped.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
I make a complete stop. The car behind me couldn't stop.
Hits me into that person. No, yeah, yeah. It caused
a big pile up on the freeway. They had to
get the little Jaws of Life thing crane thing too,
because the dashboard had collapsed on my legs.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
Are you for real?
Speaker 2 (34:20):
I'm for real. The guy ended up losing his leg.
It was. It was a mess. I was beat up
like I was. And and you know what's crazy is
that the guy had stopped to help a woman whose
car had but none of them put their hazards on
(34:41):
right and none of them moved all the way over
to the shoulder. They just stopped in that lane. It
was a really strange situation. So, uh, he ended up
unfortunately losing his leg, but also getting a ticket. No,
they find him. They didn't find me. They didn't find
any of those drivers, because it was like they had
caused a hazard, like they had stopped in the middle
(35:04):
of the thing, and nobody thought to put their blinkers on,
like their hazard lights on. Yeah, hey, they tried. I
think they tried to do they try to sue me.
I think they tried to.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
No, I mean you didn't see.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
Yeah they Yeah, I mean it was that was that
was a moment.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
No, you don't dance.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
No, that's why. That's why I stopped going to kids proms.
This was last year.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
You gotta go. Man, next week, I'm gonna be on
a boat and you're gonna be on a flamenco floating
in your pool.
Speaker 2 (35:43):
You gotta one to my house.
Speaker 1 (35:45):
If I was here, we were in the same city,
we would have done it together, hanging out on the
hot tap. That would have been fun. But uh, we're
gonna figure it away. Somehow. We're gonna have water, you guys.
I'm gonna get lamar into somehow.
Speaker 2 (35:57):
I'll do it in the shower, dude, shower.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
Do it in your bath with a little floaty so
that I can do that and we're gonna figure it out.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
You are ridiculous. You have a yacht and you have.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
You're gonna see the wait till you see, and then
you're gonna sit there and you're gonna take a lot
of this back and say, what kind of boat? Y'all?
If I can make it happen, if I'm actually up
there in Canada, but if it times out, it's going
to be fun. Well, thanks for listening, man, what a fun,
weird little episode.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
Absolutely day. Please make sure you guys follow us on Instagram.
It's a great place to follow us The mess Around.
Speaker 1 (36:36):
And not in real life. Please follow me Instagram.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
You know, it depends on who you are. I don't
mind a little stocky stock don't say that stuff.
Speaker 1 (36:45):
Oh my lord, unless you are Zoe.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
Cra Yeah, Zoe want to stalk me. I'm okay with that. See.
Speaker 1 (36:52):
I guess there's.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
Say your questions, your concerns, your videos, your videos, if
you creep it outside of my house at The mess
Around at gmail dot com. We'll be back next week
with episode of three twenty three.
Speaker 3 (37:06):
Crew shout out.
Speaker 1 (37:11):
That was The Mess Around in iHeartMedia Production.
Speaker 2 (37:14):
Our executive producer is Joel Monique. Our Senior producer is
Abu Zafar Bei Wang provided engineering and editing services.
Speaker 1 (37:22):
Additional production from Daniel Goodman, Wendy Heisler, and Kyle Shevron.
Our theme song was written and composed by Ronald Jukebox Jackson,
Catch you next time.
Speaker 3 (37:31):
Bye,
Yeah, I eyepatch perhaps the pirate Oh wait, okay wait,
I just want to say this out loud. Okay, very
excited about this episode, so I just want to say
this out loud to you, Lamark. Yes, our next episode
that we're going to do is the finale. It's Cruise, okay,
(00:39):
mm hmm. I will be up in Canada mm hmmm
when we record that episode. And I have this idea
because it's the season three finale, right, and I remember
shooting that on the Queen Mary. Queen Mary, Yeah, being
stuck on that big, a haunted, creepy boat, and I
(01:03):
thought for Cruise when we do the podcast, and don't
I know what you're gonna say, so just like, just
try to not destroy me right now, Okay, just try.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
To be kind.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
I'm gonna say the words and you're gonna start. I
will do the podcast from my boat. Stop. I see,
you can't help yourself. And you can do it from
like a flamingo floating in your pool, and we can
just do the podcast on water and record Cruise because
(01:40):
Cruise was one of the craziest, made no sense, insane,
ridiculous New Girl episodes ever to record. And I feel
like our podcast should reflect it when we record. Now
you can make fun of me for having a.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Boat, Hannah. Are you hearing yourself right now? The elitism
you you just said, I'm going to record the podcast
from my boat. Hannah. Do you know how hard it
is to get a boat? First of all, let's talk
about a boat and how much how much the maintenance
is in order to keep a boat. You know what
(02:14):
I mean. People don't even own boat. They charter these
boats because it's billionaires don't even own a lot of
these boats because they because they go. It's a waste
of money. Hannah. You have so much money that you
are leaving one home to go to another home and
then go record from your boat in another country. I
just want you to sit with this in this moment,
(02:35):
and shame on you for all those years that I
that I harassed Zoe about having a private jet. I mean,
she doesn't and you are sitting here thinking, Oh, I
have an even worse investment. It's a boat, and you
never said about it.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
It's a worse investment. Well, because I know who I'd
be talking to if I told you leave me and
my little boat alone. Here's the thing, here's the tip
of it. You're gonna sit there and you're gonna record
that podcast me from your flamingo floating in your pool,
and you're gonna see me on a kayak.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
I got a pool, but I ain't got no flamingo floating.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
So that's my pitch for how we record the cruise
because that episode even wants but recording is stressing me out.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Hannah, your WiFi is already bad enough.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
This is true. This is true. I can't cop to
how good the podcast will be.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Although I did just get asked. I did just get
asked if I wanted to be on UH and I
can't make it to be on an episode of a
show that I hadn't seen yet called Below Deck? What oh?
If you want to do it?
Speaker 1 (03:46):
The morn you got asked to be on below Deck?
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Yes, they said, I'm going to pass out. Can you
do it instead of me? I'll do it two days
in UH Where are they going to be the Caribbean?
Two days in April?
Speaker 1 (04:05):
They they will destroy you. That's the point of this show.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
What do you mean destroy you?
Speaker 1 (04:09):
They'll like it's fun, you get to go with your
friends and whatever, but they kind of that's the fun
of it is. They kind of gonna tear you down, Yeah,
a little bit, like that's if.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
They tried.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Testicles out. What you're gonna say, Oh, that's so fun though, Yeah,
but if you want to do it, Hannah invitation.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
I don't want to do it because I watched the
show and I'm too sensitive to put myself out there
like that.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Anyway, Let's lets jump into this episode, shall we. The
episode is three twenty two Dance Dance.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
I remember this episode.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Oh, such a good one, such a funny.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
One, such a funny one.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Now, in this episode, just calls on the troops to
help out with chaperoning her school dance. As you can imagine,
this goes horribly, resulting in Nick getting a buzz off
a deadly soda concoction, Schmidt challenging a student to a
foot race, and Winston being flocked by a bunch of
teenage girls, leaving Coach and c C to pick up
the pieces when the dances in Jeopardy Love Me Not
(05:15):
Him Fastball directed by Trent O'Donnell, Bara mc adaman, and
Ryan Coe, two of the greats. Two of the greats.
(05:37):
Trent's also one of the greats. Whenever I see Trent's
name on it. When he's directing, I always know that
I will have an easy time shooting. I know he's
he knows your strengths, your weaknesses. He's not going to
push you to do stuff that you can't do or
it's going to make you uncomfortable. And he always it
(05:57):
makes you more comfortable than you start to stuff that
you probably didn't think you you know, we're capable of doing.
So whenever I see his name on something, I go, huh,
this is gonna be easy week.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
He's the greatest. He's the greatest. There's a reason why
he is basically, you know, like a cast member a
New Girl. He's like such a central figure in the
New Girl family.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
He's the best.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
So another great episode and I think they probably gave
us one to him because it was like a trickier one.
Wasn't in the loft, It wasn't the usual stuff. Yeah,
it had so many little moving parts to it, and yeah,
of course he's it's a great episode.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Good job, Trent, Great job Trent.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
So we're on the heels of a breakup, right jessin
Nika broken up. It's over and it's out. Everybody knows,
but life goes on, and work goes on.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
That the al is how many times they break up?
A few? So stupid. I love when she unrolls the
banner for the school dance at the top of the thing,
when you guys are sitting down the top of the episode,
and it's a lot of evers. Love is forever, ever, ever, ever, ever,
and there are twelve evers, and it's very clear that
(07:16):
we are in a show about relationships. Here we go again,
Here we go again. Shocker. They broke up and she's
trying to deal with it, and she wants to have this.
She wants to have this school dance. It's very very
important to her, you know, she wants the students to
have an incredible time. And in that moment, Coach Winston
(07:37):
and Schmidt they walk into the living room, make picks
Jess up and he calls.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Her this hug. Are we gonna talk about it? What's happening?
Why did she goes so limp because.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
She doesn't want to be touched in that moment and
she wasn't expecting a hug. So she's just like, you're
gonna do what you're gonna do.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
I guess she does the toddler flop and.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Which it's like, uh, he's got number two locked and loaded,
hard orsoft. Such a strange line, Such a strange line.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
This next scene in the makeshift sauna where they're having
a Schmitz was so funny to me and caught me
off guard because I did not remember this ever being
on our show. Sexual Tension tweeting Schmitt and Nick. Oh yeah,
oh in your bathroom, sweating it out together.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Just sweating it out Nick. You know, Nick says he
misses goofing around with Jess. They've come up with a
new rule where they can't be in the room alone
together unless it's with Winston because he naturally takes the
sexual tension out of a room. You know, I take
a lot of this personal. I do. I take a
(08:51):
lot of this personal, which is why and there is
the writer's fault. So what I did was I made
it my life's mission, and I've completed it to sleep
with every new girl writer. How's that sexual you guys?
Speaker 1 (09:07):
I mean, Berkeley told me you were one of the best.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
He's got that long hair.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
This bit that Nick talks about where he's now trying
to start to take care of himself is eating a
lot of salads. Yeah, just mainly the proteins, which is
just chopped up pieces of ham and no lettuce, because
lettus is disgusting a huge chunks of ham.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
You know what. That's what Lily does. That's what Lily does.
So well, I'll make like a like a little salad
for her, but it's really just chopped cucumbers. I'll have
like like pulled chicken and like like a little bit
of rice beans. I'll put it on like a little thing,
and I'll call it a salad. And and I'll be
(09:52):
paying attention while she's only eating the chicken, right, and
then she'll say, I hate my salad today, And I'll go, Lily, no,
you didn't. He just ate the chicken.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
You said the chicken.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
She said that the cucumbers, because the cucumbers have seeds
in it. She goes, it's got the I don't want it.
It's got the white things on it. That's the cue cover.
But I don't want it.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
That's what cucumber is.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
I don't want it. Oh man.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
But anyway, Schmid is talking to Nick while they're schmitzing,
I'm schmid sing is confused because you understand how he's
he could want a twenty year old over his ripe berries. Yep.
Then when he comes in, he says he needs a Schmitz, and.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Then he asks why his sweat smells like asparagus. Schmidt
confirms that he does. Take the sexual attention out of
her room and wins. It's confused, and the morning was confused,
quite honestly, because he says he heats up every room
he walks into. You put him next to a dozen eggs.
They had it. Then Nick turns to Schmidten lets him
(10:58):
know that there was no sexual attention before which came in.
Oh man, they gonna do it. They're gonna do it
one day now, Jess, she addresses the other teachers slash
chaperones for the dance, and then she thanks them. None
of them volunteered, none of them now just is paying
(11:22):
everyone in custom hats that she made that say chaperone,
except for Gary the janitor. Gary says being the janitor
isn't his whole identity. It calls just the third hottest
white teacher. So funny. And then this is when we
get there. This is when we involve coach in the mix,
(11:44):
because you know, coach knows how I mean, they're friends.
You know, he knows how important the dance is to Jess,
And he says, these kids aren't gonna get away with anything.
If they want to bang, they're gonna have to bang
through me.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Then he says it again.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
He goes, if they're gonna burning up the break through me,
just talk to one of her students, Wendy. Wendy, her
mom is making her go to the school dance. Wendy
is going to wear a shark shirt to the dance.
It's clear Wendy does not want to go to the dance. Yeah,
(12:20):
that was kind of like me a little bit growing
up when we had these dances. I would show up
with every excuse not to go.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
To them because I was like, that was me too.
I would never wanted to go to No one ever
asked me to dance.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
Well, they knew you, I had no.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Really, we're got out to the eleven year old. That
girl can dance, Oh my gosh. No, no one ever
dansked me to dance at the school dance. And I
was a kid, and so I would feel so so shy,
so funny how you look back now and now I'm like,
thank goodness.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
And Hannah cannot dance. We're gonna go to break and
we come back. We're going to discuss why.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
She never.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
And we are back. We're we I mean, this is
going on. This is the third.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
Episode, third episode of Buster and CC. I'm telling you,
it makes me crazy. It's making me crazy at this
point just watching it is making me crazy. And I
actually enjoyed the fact now that the boys are just
gonna pile on and make fun of her, because long overdue,
this needs to be openly mocked.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
But you know, you're in good hands because Winston can't
get the joke out.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
A solid friend he wants, he can't bring himself.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
To do it. It's like, just come back to me,
come back to me. I got I got I got something. Yeah.
But CC is like justifying it, saying that Buster is
more of a man than all of them. Come on,
there's been a forty countries. He builds boats, he trains snakes.
I mean, come on, come on, CEC says, all the
boys do is hang out with each other like twelve
(14:09):
year old girls. Yes, men hang out with each other.
We share ideas, okay, we talk about how we're going
to like build the world.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
H huh.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
I mean a brave New World. That's what that's what
we share.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
It's definitely the Winny, Nick and Schmidt conversation.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Thank you for recognizing that. Uh yeah. And then where we're.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
We're back at the school and unbeknownst to Jess, there
is some sabotage happening. The gym is.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Locked, that's right, in a way.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
They cannot get it open, hoping that the dance will
be canceled. That was the intention of this lock by
whoever did it. Yes, but Jess will not be broken.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
No, she will not be So she calls Cecy. That's right.
She lets the boys know all the caperon's bailed on
the dance and that this is a job for men
to do. Well. They all chest bump, but when they
chest bump, they hurt Winston's shoulders. As I'm saying that,
(15:15):
I'm realizing that my shoulders.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Actually do you got an ake? Yeah? You're an impact.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
I know, I feel it. I feel the pain all
over the world, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Then this is a fun moment. It was a fun
little character moment for CC new skills, who knew she had.
But she breaks open the lock with a tire iron.
What some Mafio so kind of ass. But I love
that it's only like Schmidt who's not surprised, and it's
like delighted by it.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
Yeah, this is my favorite part. Well, I don't know
if it's my favorite part, but it's it's it's it's
right up there. Coach tells the boys that they're under
his control for the night. Yeah, that the little kids,
these bastards will hurt your feet. Start talking. It starts
Schmidt is on snack duty. It needs to make short
(16:06):
diabetic Amy gets only two cookies, she'll pass out. Schmidt's
just like she's gonna get no cookies, Like, no, she
she actually needs she needs to. And then Winston is
on dance floor duty. And then Winston says, no one's
getting pregnant.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Why so problematic?
Speaker 2 (16:26):
And then uh, Coach says that Nick isn't chapero material.
Nick says that he can he can get into kind
of a bad kid.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
You can go get into the mind. The mind is
an important Yeah, I was like the kind of bad.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
Kid Whoai says that he can get into the mind
of a bad kid and stop them before they do
anything stupid. Right before that was this the moment. This
is what I think I wrote this down with Coach
was like, we're gonna have six inches of separation, and
he does this, I'm six inches of separation and it's
(17:06):
clearly a foot log. That is a bit that I
always do when wherever we're talking like distance or length
about something. I do it in my regular life. I
do it on my other podcast. I do what I'm
talking to people, and I can't help it. Now. If
ever inches come up, I make them way bigger than
what they actually are.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
Does anyone call you out?
Speaker 2 (17:28):
Yeah, Kyle does all the time. He's like, yeah, that
checks out. That's about that's about three inches right there,
Like yeah, right anyway, which I which I do believe
co Damon improvised that moment that with his now Winston
(17:51):
hits hit the dance floor right and then call me
maybe comes on and you know, and he can't help himself.
He can't coming out of him right. And then right
before he gets into that big moment, Coach tells him
to put his heat away and he apologizes, but that's
the problem. It's too late, too late.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
The girls now middle school girls.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
The clock. Yeah, misplaced heat. You know what I'm saying.
You gotta keep that heat in your pocket and you
know what I mean. And then they start chasing him,
They start following him around like lost puppies, which reminds
I mean this shooting this episode, uh definitely felt like
when I was in middle school.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Yeah, it was very strange to do it. And it's
one of those things that's like marks the passage of time.
You start to realize like, oh, I'm I'm because real
young actors that are there on the day and you're like, oh.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
I'm I'm so old to you. Yeah, it's a.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
Weird day because we are our show never really had
children on it, and it was a weird day to
be like, oh, these are like young aspiring actors that
are like ten or eleven, so little. This to me
was so man triggering because Schmidt then talks to Tommy,
(19:11):
who is a bully and calls him out of his
name and is so mean and relentless towards Schmidt. And
you know what I loved about it though, was I'm sorry,
but there are some kids at that age that are
just awful people. Yeah, And I was like, yes, tell
the truth on that there are some kids. That's why
(19:33):
some of us got bullied at school, even at that age,
who are already fully in their personality of being awful
people to young and old alike. And I was like,
this character I love because.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
You should you should be able to At that point,
like he kept calling him a flamer, and he kept saying,
he kept he was roasting Schmidt. Yeah, at that point,
a kid, a kid should be allowed to get punched
in the throat, one solid shot. That's what life is like,
(20:05):
that's what you keep talking. Shit. I believe my.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
Strange Schmidt was. I was like, you are holding it together.
I didn't know Schmid was capable of.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
I in my mind when rewatching it, I thought, wait,
does Schmidt like hit him or something?
Speaker 1 (20:21):
I thought like for some reason, like I was like,
you stand there and take that.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Punch right, like trip him down a flight a stair,
something happens to this kid, right, But none of that happened.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
None of it happens.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Disappointing.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
Then there's another active sabotage. The lights go out justin
CC poked their head out and they see one of
the teachers running down the hall and they chase him.
CC then shows she's the toughest and they go in
to do good gop bad cops and in such funny writing.
Jess understanding of what's a good cop and what's a
(20:56):
bad cop is so funny. They're all over the place.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Oh oh yeah. He comes outside, he's uh again, trying
to prove that he could be you know, he sees
the kids outside drinking sodas He's like, you think I'm
a rone dude just short for chaperone. You think I'm
(21:22):
a ron dude? And then is that what you got?
Is like, you got any any juice? And Mary Jane,
and they give him some of the drink. He takes
a sip and he spits it out. Now, this is
something that all young kids can identify with. I'm not
sure if this was just like a dude thing when
we were kids, but we would go to the soda
machine and we would mix all of them together. And
(21:46):
when you think about it, it's actually just the same
amount of sugar just yea, it's all the same, but
the flavor, the flavor is so.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
Is it a real thing to call it a suicide?
Speaker 2 (21:59):
I don't know if that's what it was called, because.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Because I thought that what he was saying is like
when you take a step and spit it out, like
did you put something in here that could kill me? No,
I didn't realize. That's just like the name of a
mix of SODA's, Like that's what you call that.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
Yeah, that's just the name, you know what. I didn't know.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
I just thought he was like Scott scared for a
second that.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
What he could kill him? This yeah, man. But Schmid
goes back up to Tommy just to apologize to him.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
It's like, okay, you know what, oh yeah, this moment.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
But he gets on one knee and this little boy
again the Rose, It's like, I'm not going to marry you, dude.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
He had to get down on one knee, becse, that's
how small this child is. I know, to speak face
to face, that's how small this child is. And he
still gets destroyed.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
Gets destroyed by and so Schmid challenges him to a
foot race in the parking lot. Meanwhile, this group of.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
Girls hysterical, like that's what you're gonna do to prove
a point to this child you're dealing with, dudes, a
foot race.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
Day, dual challenge, old school pistols, no races, little last
and then beat them and then which is true, by
the way, that's something that we used to do.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
You know your kids, you talk tells you to a race,
you wouldn't be like, this feels unfair. Your legs are longer,
and you're a bigger No.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
No, you should be faster for you lest their Olympians.
And then meanwhile, this group of girls is grown. It's
definitely doubled in size, and they are all smitten by
everything that Winston says again, it's like life happens.
Speaker 3 (23:50):
Uh and uh, you.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
Know so c C C C is I apologize? She's
like comforting Jess.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
Yeah, they're having a real moment and it's very sweet,
and she's like, look, you gotta just let it go.
Dance isn't going to be perfect again. She knows what
this is really about, Like Jess is trying to distract
yourself from this breakup, and she's trying to do this
perfect Like love is forever moment for these these young people,
so they believe in love and aren't jaded, and it's
(24:19):
bigger than the dance and see she knows what's going on.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
Oh yeah yeah. Meanwhile, Nick is high out of his mind,
so he's jumping off of cars. He's catching mad hair
bro like the two kids show him something else. They
turned it up a little bit. The soda is one thing,
but now a pile of fireworks randomly, Uh, that's interesting
(24:43):
and could have been potentially dangerous.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
Very dangerous, like real dangerous.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
And so they they Nick says that you know, hey,
we can get into a lot of trouble for lighting
the fireworks, which is why I got our run really
fast after lighting him and he likes it. I'm not
gonna it was very underwhelming. I thought it would be
a lot more because there was a lot of fireworks there.
It was like three that went off, and I was like, oh,
(25:10):
nobody heard that.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
They were running out of time on that night. Shoot.
They're like, it's right, I do something.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
Yeah. Now Jess is with so so again we're trying
to find out who is sabotaging this this dance and
it's not until Jess sees Wendy, little girl from the
beginning who didn't want to go we wants to wear
a shark shirt to the dance. She was the culprit
(25:37):
trying to sabotage the dance party because she thought that
none of the boys wanted to dance with her. M M,
very very sad.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
In this very sweet moment habit moment happens between the
ladies CEC and Jess and Wendy. We're low key. Jess
just says CC knows a lot about men, like a
lot of about man because she's very well traveled.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
He's got some miles on her, so shaity, he's got
some miles on her.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
I was like, oh my god. It's very funny. And
as you know, an adult and you're around kids, talking
in code can sometimes get shady. You're like, what do
you actually mean? Because have you thought out what you're saying?
And when you're trying to not say what you're saying.
It's so fun and it's so sweet. And they're like,
just so you know, boys are really dumb, so don't
(26:35):
worry about what they think. And also because they're dumb,
we can use them to save the stance and still
have a great night.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
That's right, And that's what they do. That's what they do.
They call the boys. Meanwhile, they're about to race. We
come outside. We see Schmidt, who calls himself the Hebrew Cheetah,
and they do the count off. Mark gets set and
then Tommy cheats che little basket cheese. But Mitch Smidt.
(27:06):
He catches up with him because Schmid is a real
a real sprinter, you know what I mean. But out
of nowhere Winston.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
Oh, this moment's so funny.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
Smoking him because he's you know, he's flopped by twenty
different little kids. Yeah, and he runs right up next
to h He's running for his life. He's running for
his life. Nick is at the same time being pushed
in in a grocery card by his new best friends.
Strange friendship they got going on. And then Coach comes
out and blows his whistle, putting an end to all
of this.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
These are all the chaperones. Just remember, these are the
people chaperoning the dance. Are all out there causing and
encouraging chaos in the parking lot.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
Is a reason they shouldn't be. There's a reason. You know,
they were a last. They were they were a last.
They were like late additions the party. Yeah, so they
didn't get the training memo that they need. Yeah, and
Coaches letting them know, He's like, you guys are the worst,
the worst chaperones ever. And then just this is sweet.
(28:07):
I need you stupid boys. I loved it, and they
and they get on the microphone.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
Hannah, this, I don't want to talk about it, honest gosh.
I cringed and went underneath my pillows doing the rewatch.
It's so for myself. Everybody else is fine, just myself,
I cringed. And I think the reason I remember this
episode is because it was painful to do it.
Speaker 3 (28:34):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
And I think they probably eighty yard me because I
don't even know that. No, they eighty yard someone else
because I don't think I could. It was. I was
like anybody else, you guys.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
But here's what I thought. It was funny. I thought
it was funny because to me, it was very clearly
not you. It was a professional beat boxer.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
I was like my voice, you guys, Tully you Honestly,
they might have been like, hey, we'll change it, well
like auto tune it, Lamar. Can you just do this
in your ADR session to help out Hannah for.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
But then here's the part that because this is how
I know it wasn't This is how I know it
wasn't you doing it because when they when when they
put my verse in, it was so off beat because
there was no beat, There was no beat that I
was beat. Yeah, I was like Why would you add
an off beat? Why don't you just have her switch
(29:33):
it up? It's like, whoever added no disrespect? All I
was doing was this rap battles before. Yeah, that's it,
I believe so, and so I was like silent, you know,
as one of the greatest rappers of all time. I
know for a fact, I'm never off beat. So that's what.
That's what.
Speaker 1 (29:52):
Anyway, that's I never cringed, even whoever was doing it.
For me, the whole thing was so cringe to watch
for myself. It's very rare moments where I watch where
I'm just like, I need to just disappear myself. Yeah, yeah,
I agree.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
But yeah. Then finally a student brings a boombox and
then they they get the real dance party going. Schmid
danced with cc Nick dances with Jess Winston.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Just end the episode. It's a potty.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Yeah, it's a Marty. It's Marty.
Speaker 3 (30:25):
Let's go from the break, uh babe?
Speaker 1 (30:38):
Yeah, babe.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
Do you remember your first school dance? Anything in particular
stick out from that first dance?
Speaker 1 (30:45):
What I remember about my first school dance. It probably
wasn't my first school dance, but the first one I
remember it was in Cyprus, and me and my best
friend wanted to go wearing like matching outfits to the
school dance. So we went and got these green oversized
(31:08):
wide legged jeans okay, like huge, like massive wide leg
jeans and wore it with like a belt, and then
we wore it with like a really tight little white
tank top. And we both showed up and she was
(31:29):
like freckled redhead, super cute, and then me was me
and we showed up to the dance and in the
same in the same outfit, and we felt a very.
Speaker 2 (31:42):
Cool could get laughed at or people like that's cool.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
I don't know if anybody noticed or cared, but you
we felt very cool.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
Yeah, I don't quite remember my first one.
Speaker 1 (31:57):
I should say it's because we love like TLC like
those like we're like we were drawing inspiration from style
Wise and we're like, we're gonna look cool as ale
at the dance and everybody else. I think all the
girls showed up in like dresses and we were just like,
you ain't ready for this criss cross in full effect,
and they were just like nobody, nobody cares about you, guys. Stop.
(32:19):
We tried. That's what I remember my first all dance.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
You're a totally crossed out. I know, No, I can't.
I can't quite remember my It's hard, this one's, this one's.
This one is difficult because I went to a few
of dances from other people's schools. You know, girls would
invite me to those things. Nothing but nothing memorable. I
(32:42):
could tell you one memorable moment from a prom that
I went to the day, really close friend of mine.
Shout out to Alexis joy we U. I went to
her prom senior senior year, and she lived in Indiana.
So I brow to Indiana, drove her father's car, who
happened to be the preacher of our church at the time,
(33:04):
so let me borrow his Cadillac. And we were leaving
the problem and we're going to head into Chicago to
go to a like a party or whatever. And we're
in this big caravan. So we're all following this truck
that has his hazards on and it's raining out. Now
we're on the caliummet Freeway, I think right over the
river or something like that. Anyway, it's raining out. The
(33:27):
conditions are not great. This truck that I'm following swerves
out of the way last minute, and I slam on
the brakes because there's a car just sitting in the
left lane. There's two cars, none of them have their
hazards on and it's hard to see, so I noticed it.
I'm like, holy shit, slam on the brakes. I get
this close to the person and is he's standing in
(33:49):
the back of the car.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
Ah.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
I get this close to him. The car behind me
hits me.
Speaker 3 (34:00):
I stopped.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
I make a complete stop. The car behind me couldn't stop.
Hits me into that person. No, yeah, yeah. It caused
a big pile up on the freeway. They had to
get the little Jaws of Life thing crane thing too,
because the dashboard had collapsed on my legs.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
Are you for real?
Speaker 2 (34:20):
I'm for real. The guy ended up losing his leg.
It was. It was a mess. I was beat up
like I was. And and you know what's crazy is
that the guy had stopped to help a woman whose
car had but none of them put their hazards on
(34:41):
right and none of them moved all the way over
to the shoulder. They just stopped in that lane. It
was a really strange situation. So, uh, he ended up
unfortunately losing his leg, but also getting a ticket. No,
they find him. They didn't find me. They didn't find
any of those drivers, because it was like they had
caused a hazard, like they had stopped in the middle
(35:04):
of the thing, and nobody thought to put their blinkers on,
like their hazard lights on. Yeah, hey, they tried. I
think they tried to do they try to sue me.
I think they tried to.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
No, I mean you didn't see.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
Yeah they Yeah, I mean it was that was that
was a moment.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
No, you don't dance.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
No, that's why. That's why I stopped going to kids proms.
This was last year.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
You gotta go. Man, next week, I'm gonna be on
a boat and you're gonna be on a flamenco floating
in your pool.
Speaker 2 (35:43):
You gotta one to my house.
Speaker 1 (35:45):
If I was here, we were in the same city,
we would have done it together, hanging out on the
hot tap. That would have been fun. But uh, we're
gonna figure it away. Somehow. We're gonna have water, you guys.
I'm gonna get lamar into somehow.
Speaker 2 (35:57):
I'll do it in the shower, dude, shower.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
Do it in your bath with a little floaty so
that I can do that and we're gonna figure it out.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
You are ridiculous. You have a yacht and you have.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
You're gonna see the wait till you see, and then
you're gonna sit there and you're gonna take a lot
of this back and say, what kind of boat? Y'all?
If I can make it happen, if I'm actually up
there in Canada, but if it times out, it's going
to be fun. Well, thanks for listening, man, what a fun,
weird little episode.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
Absolutely day. Please make sure you guys follow us on Instagram.
It's a great place to follow us The mess Around.
Speaker 1 (36:36):
And not in real life. Please follow me Instagram.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
You know, it depends on who you are. I don't
mind a little stocky stock don't say that stuff.
Speaker 1 (36:45):
Oh my lord, unless you are Zoe.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
Cra Yeah, Zoe want to stalk me. I'm okay with that. See.
Speaker 1 (36:52):
I guess there's.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
Say your questions, your concerns, your videos, your videos, if
you creep it outside of my house at The mess
Around at gmail dot com. We'll be back next week
with episode of three twenty three.
Speaker 3 (37:06):
Crew shout out.
Speaker 1 (37:11):
That was The Mess Around in iHeartMedia Production.
Speaker 2 (37:14):
Our executive producer is Joel Monique. Our Senior producer is
Abu Zafar Bei Wang provided engineering and editing services.
Speaker 1 (37:22):
Additional production from Daniel Goodman, Wendy Heisler, and Kyle Shevron.
Our theme song was written and composed by Ronald Jukebox Jackson,
Catch you next time.
Speaker 3 (37:31):
Bye,
Hosts And Creators
Lamorne Morris
Hannah Simone
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