April 29, 2025 • 41 mins
CECE DIDN'T BELIEVE IN THE MESS AROUND?! Today we're getting macro about a micro... If you've seen the episode you know. Hannah and Lamorne discuss pimples, Lamorne's hotness rating, and the ickafication of Jess.
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Speaker 1 (00:17):
Hello, everybody, Hello, everybody.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Hey Hannah, how are you?
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Hello? Hello? Hello. I'm doing a great I will say this.
I have a lot of things in my life that
bother me and need improvement for sure. But the one
thing I have and you also have, is really good skin.
That's just genetics. I do have really good skin, and
(00:42):
so lo and behold my horror today. Oh no, I
got a pimple and I was just like, I'm invited
to my list of issues.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
You're on your own, you.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Know I do too. So I'm wearing this pimple patch.
You see that this is the worst place to get
it here or like at the tip of your nose,
Like that's the worst to get them on your lips.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
You don't want to get a pimple on your.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Lip, but that's something. Yeah, there's no such thing as
a pimple.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
A pimple on your lip, but yeah, like right here
or right here.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
And this one sucks because I don't First of all,
these patches don't work. I guess all they do is
just cover it for the world not to see because
they don't get rid of them. This isn't This is
going on day three with this fing thing on my
face and it's still there.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Here's the thing I will say. I'm team like Love
Island with this stuff. Do you ever watch Love Island.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
And don't have to be some dumb ship like that?
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Okay, fine, well you're missing out. But here's what they do.
When they all get pimples, they put like their pimple
patches are stars. They just own it. Yeah, generation man,
I love it so much. They're just like, here it is.
Put a start. I'm gonna make a beautiful muskin is
going through something.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
And you're smart because it's like you're gonna be Look
if somebody has a pimple on like a note, like
an obvious noticeable pimple on their forehead or somewhere, you're
gonna look at it. It's not gonna bother you, but
you're gonna look at it.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
And then I'm telling you this one is like it's
a big guy.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
Yeah, but if you put a star on it, people
are gonna look. It's you're gonna look anyway, so you
may as well look at a star.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Put a gold star on it, That's what I'm saying.
I will say, I know everybody's been really worried about
my mess around sweater that I spilled on last week.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
So it's back me too.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
You got too many jobs, That's what I learned about you.
You've got too many jobs. Job, you got too many things,
all right, you guys? It is the mess around And
this is by far one of the most talked about
episodes have. It is called micro. It's called micro. Y'all know,
(02:59):
if you're listening to this podcast, I know you know it.
If I know, you don't even have to rewatch it to.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
Now listening to this podcast, this particular episode, you know
the episode, but you also may know the issue that
the issue may be something that you've personally dealt with
in your life, which I think not a lot of
people have.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
But yeah, it's called micro because of you know, micro penis,
says micro pain.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Should we do?
Speaker 3 (03:27):
After discovering that the guy she's talking to has a
micro penis, Jess makes a bet with Nick that she
can stay in the relationship for over a month to
prove she isn't shallow. Meanwhile, Winston, CC, Trick Schmidt, and
coach As are competing for a modeling gig. It's a
classic Winston and CC mess around.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
That's not a thing.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
So she says, we'll be right back, and we are back.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
This is honestly one of the funniest written episodes ever.
Bye of Course. The Great Josh ma.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
Yes Josh Malmith directed by Jay Schandra Shaker. He is
a fantastic director.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Fantastic director, human person. He was a great director to
work with. He's like, so you know what it is,
he still has like the joy. There's zero things that
are jaded about Jay. When he was on set, like
he was just like so happy. He thought the bits
were so funny. You can see in that cold open
when they're doing like the boobs say like I like
(04:47):
those people. Like when they're doing the boobs whole conversation,
you can just feel Jay just being like happy to
let it go, like just run with it, guys, get
weird with it because there's so much in a group shot. Yeah,
because he's just like having that energy.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
Oh yeah, because you have to. Yeah, imagine he's still
a performer. He still acts. So that's why you know,
when you're an actor and you see the bits, it's
almost like he wants to jump in and play himself.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Shocked. We never had shock. He was never in an episode.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Ye, that's true. That was a miss.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
Yeah complete miss Oh girl, what a miss?
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Complete miss? You use this diver off camera?
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Only they should have cast him. I guess maybe the
only role available if he wanted to act in director
was to be the micrope guy. And he's like, you
know what.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Jay was like, you know what, I don't need the reputation.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
That's okay.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
He's directed a bunch of these episodes though, yeah, he
did a few.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
Anyway, we're at this bar. Anyway, at this bar, Hannah,
what's going on at this bar? The guys are just
talking about boobies, as men do, right.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
I think what's so great and funny and weird about
this gold open is that they're saying all the quiet
parts out loud. Yeah, Like I do think right. Attracts
is a part of picking your partner, not a friend,
but like a partner. And so attraction is that you're
gonna have things that you're more drawn to or less
(06:10):
drawn to. And so that conversation about being shallow or
not I think is super interesting. But usually you're not
openly at the bar being like I like those boobies,
those are great boobies. That's not going to resonate. Well, no,
but the person that also wants to have an emotional
connection as well as the physical cost.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
So guys don't do this, you know what? You know who?
Speaker 3 (06:27):
I have some friends who are are in their sixties,
late fifties, sixties, and when they're trying to be cool
and they're hanging out, they start speaking this way because
they think that this is how the other guys talk.
And you got to constantly like correct them and go, bro,
you good.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Like a moment walks by, look at look at the
rack on that check and you're like, what you know,
we never did that. That was a TV fit.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
That was like a movie's a TV stereotype about what
we You don't have to say that out loud.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
It is a crazy thing. Also, I knew, I knew
you were going to say the word rack. The rack
conversation is also crazy to call it a rack of what?
Speaker 3 (07:14):
Oh you know, I was trying to be gentle. What
the words for what they were really really saying?
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Yeah, No, no one's out here talking like that, and
if they are, it's very like forty year old vergin Ya.
I'm just like, oh, you've never seen like breasts. Yeah,
you've never actually seen them with your own eyeballs, like
real human right breasts.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Yeah, so that's good to know.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
I learned so much about you. So Jess is on
a whole tip because she's just like, I'm not shallow.
I don't sit there and pick my partner just based
on what they look like. And then she kind of
challenges Nick and she's like, would you have ruled me
out for my boobs? And he's like no, because they're perfect.
But then you're won. And then that thing when they
(07:55):
cut to you guys all getting so close to it
is so funny to me, Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
You know what I hated about this moment? I think
what that they would uh you know, they they it
was a script.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
It was scripted, so I said it, and you know,
it's a funny bit where I go, You're at eight,
You're at eight and a half, and I'm a.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Sweet, sweet six. You know, I have you know, sons
of bitches I have.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
You know that that same year, I want to say
it was that same year.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Maybe it was a year later, who knows.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
Cosmo magazine called me one of the hottest TV actors
of all time and I was number thirty. You know,
who was you know who was you know who was
thirty one? George Colooney. Yeah, I didn't see Max on
that list.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
I didn't see Damon on that list.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
So while I'm getting while the writers are saying that
they're eight, eight and a half and I'm a six,
I got something. I got news for you. Fuck you anyway,
That's what I got to.
Speaker 4 (09:07):
Say about it.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Here's the part that made me laugh the most is
that you give these compliments, then you do something that's
self deprecating and you say six, which is obviously not true,
and nobody challenges it. It's the funniest part. Nobody goes,
come on, man, no at least a seven. No, Nope,
I don't want that's where they did your dirty that
everyone went, yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
Every dirty And you know what, I'm okay with it.
I'm okay.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
I'm almost okay with it because I'm not sure who's
laughing now?
Speaker 1 (09:35):
This is true? And we know that they give the
Emmys to the most attractive actor that year.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
That's how you that's all you know, because you got
to get out there.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Who's the hottest guy that year? And then they go like,
here's a nice one.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
You know what, I'm saying to Josh Melmouth, where your
is that?
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Doesn't he have one?
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Probably?
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Oh my god. Okay, so hold on a second, because
Alan Richard Richmon Richson, very good looking man, jumps it.
I'm looking up right now all the stuff he has done.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
Reacher, are you kidding me? Is he the star?
Speaker 4 (10:15):
And Reacher?
Speaker 2 (10:16):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (10:17):
Is he Reacheracher? He's mister Reacher.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
What Alan? The dude is a beast. The dude is
a yeah, mi mega star.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
He was on American Idol doing what like Paula up singing?
Speaker 2 (10:35):
He wasn't.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
His appearance on the show was noted for his strip
teas in one episode in which he charmed Judge Paula
Abduel during his audition. This is American Idol. He was
one of the top eighty seven contestants in the third season,
but was cut before the Hollywood.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Round, which is so crazy.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
That must have been before it was The Blue Mountain
State he was on and those shows, I think, because.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
That was before A New Girl too. It must have
been before then.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Yeah, but he's not a bunch of movies like really
cool movies and yeah, gentleman, was that a movie that
he just did?
Speaker 1 (11:09):
I don't know. Alan what a career you've had.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
With Gonzales and Henry cavill.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
I think it was a guy Richie, but.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
He uh, he just joined the cast of Fast X.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Yeah. He's been in Fast and Furious. He was in
The Fat he's in the Fast Fast.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
He looks that way like when they cut across and
she's like sitting in the booth and she's like, oh
my god, my friends are the worst. I'm just gonna
sit here because they're so shallow, and then whatever, and
then she looks up and then she like forgets how
to just speak word. He just has that whole Hemsworth
like vibe with the two and the thing and the brooding.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
Yeah, and she's just like, I know the feeling.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
That thing that Zoe does where she's like just needs
a second to get the words out is everything.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
Like I know the feeling women when they see me.
It's a very similar, very very similar, very similar.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
Yeah, sure, I just don't know how to talk.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
I will say it was a wild thing, and I
thought it was a really strong choice for the episode
that he says it out the gate where he's just like,
I just want you to know full disclosure. I have
a very very very very very very very tiny panis.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
You know what, you know what, you know what I blame.
I blame the parents.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
I blame the parents for not like because you could
nip that in the bud like when they're like when
they're young, you could you should know like, Okay, this
ain't this ain't right, and you got to do something
about it.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Then see what my brain went to. You know what
I thought you were talking about when you said I
blame the parents, I thought you meant, like, you know,
two people that have the same kind of issue, shouldn't
like breed and have a child, and to get the
wife's like dad to be like we should let's cross
(13:01):
reference these penises because the.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
Wife's dad has a micro and then the dad has
a micro maybe a micro yeah no, But there's like
things you can do to stimulate the petuitary gland. That's
got to be an issue with the petuitary gland. That's
that's stopping the process of natural human growth hormone. Because
that is crazy. It's crazy that he is that big,
(13:25):
which means his body got big, but the one thing didn't.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
That's the one thing stay tiny, yea. But he owns it.
He's like, Okay, this is what it is, and he
is so good looking that it obviously has not been
an issue.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Can be blessed with both, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Mm hmm. So then she they go they're going to
go on a date, and she does this bet.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Yes, he does the bet with with with Nick.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Nick that she's going to stay in this relationship for
like a month, No big deal because she's not shallow, right,
and she's very excited about it. She thinks it's gonna
be no issue. It's totally fine because spoiler alert, she
does not know that he as a human being is.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
The worst, absolute worst, you know.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
And he plays it, by the way, so perfectly because
I got the itch so badly from him the entire time.
I was so grossed out by what is on the
surface a very good looking person, and I was just
like watching it, I was like, oh, which means.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
He's a great actor, great actor.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Where do you go? Alan?
Speaker 4 (14:33):
Now?
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Now, let's talk about it. I was disgusted by let's
talk about this. The bet wages. What's on the line here.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
Because because if Nick loses, he has to donate five
hundred dollars of the National organization for women's Love Your
Body campaign and if Nick wins, just to buy him
a subscription to ass chat.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
But do you remember the names some of the names
that we were throwing out when he was like, what's
sighting Nubian?
Speaker 1 (15:03):
These were all improvised.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
I never went back and looked it up.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
It's off that any of these names were real if
they existed, But I'm sure they do.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
I mean, if they did, they got like Freem for sure.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Mad as a street artist. He paints on walls.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Just this, did you say, like a rat with a
backpack or something? That's what I see when I see
the wall. I was just like, oh no.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
It was so funny how she's describing you, you know
what I mean, like.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Oh yeah, the boys sit around and they're staring at
a micro penis, and then they all describe what the
micro penis looks like, like a what like a lone
tent and a very vast fast, vast fast fast.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
Oh my gosh, Schmidt wants to Schmid says, if he could,
he would give him some of his penis.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
But you don't pull he don't pull a bump off
of a Ferrari out of control.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Oh yeah, schmid coacher at the bar, and they're just
complimenting each other because now they feel really good about
themselves that they've seen a micro penis, and so they're
complimenting and complimenting, and Winston and CC are getting annoyed
death at the situation and realize, how can we mess
(16:20):
with these idiots?
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (16:23):
And make them make fools of themselves?
Speaker 3 (16:24):
Yes, is this the moment in which we describe what's
about to happen between us? Or No, that's not it.
We'll get into that a little bit later before. But
let's let's let's go to a quick commercial break. And
when we come back, there's a there's a section that
I want to bring up, and I'm not going to
bring it up because it's useless.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
But and then we're going to move on.
Speaker 4 (16:44):
Okay, and we are back.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
We're back, and Jess has learned that this guy is
the absolute worst person in the entire world and she
needs out of the bet. And she says it's not
because of the micro which, by the way, she's telling
the truth, she hasn't even like seen or dealt with
it in any situation. She just can't even be around
this person for five minutes she's just so deeply ickified. Yes,
(17:24):
but of course the math does not math to Nick.
So he's like, nah, you made that bet.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Yeah, I gotta say you got too.
Speaker 3 (17:33):
So Jess is like, listen, listen man, I'm gonna be
out of town for the next month.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
He says, for truth, for truth, for this is so stupid.
For truth, you know, that's like.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
A like a like Beligians sometimes when they say, like,
that's the truth, they say sometimes they'll say, like for true,
that's for true.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
That's what I thought they were doing here for truth,
you know, the Italians do that. It's not the same thing.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
It's true, it's true, it's the same thing for true.
For true is different than it's true. It's true as normal,
it's true proper.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
If he's.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
This thing, go, I'd been trapped in a bed. To
have to hang out with that guy was giving me
such anxiety. I will say I loved watching Jake so
much around Alan because aka Matt in the episode, because
you could see how much Jake loved it. There's nothing
more he loved than like a bro he bro browing out,
(18:39):
you know, and he just he was just soaking in
how this guy was like playing the character. He was
so happy to see his happy little Jake. And so
then basically Jess is just like, she can't do it.
She's gonna tell the truth, she's gonna own up to it,
and she's gonna go to his loft, right, and she's
(19:01):
just gonna say, it's not your micro penis, it's your
whole personality. Yes, she goes to his art studio and
she then does her whole big speech on it, which
kind of breaks him, and then he's vulnerable, and then
he explains that he has a bad personality though because
(19:22):
of his insecurities around the micro penis. And then just
as she starts to then get vulnerable, she then starts
to show her wonky knee, so she takes her pants.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
Down to show it just so TV.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
It's such a so TV that she takes her pants
down to show the knee. And then out of that
super famous John bon Jovi music video what bet of
Roses I think it was? Or I Will Always Love
You or one of those not I'll Always love you
John Bojovi? What's that video?
Speaker 4 (19:53):
Do you remember?
Speaker 1 (19:53):
We're like they're in the big art loft, and then
the girlfriend sees on the camera that he's cheating.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
What John bonjob he had caught cheating on camera.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
It was a real Shaggy moment, Shaggy, but real ones
know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Shaggy and bon Jovi did a song together.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Shaggy Jovi did a.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
Song together with Zoey Chanel was pants down.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
This is the worst game of telephone I've ever played.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
And it's just back John bon Jovi and Shaggy was
sleeping together. Zoe watched on camera.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Oh my god, oh my gosh, chat that's right now,
good old as So she's telling she's telling the truth.
But and then we cut back to the.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
La Yes, we cut back to the loft. Now Winston
and CC there are. I remember this moment. I remember
this day based off of the Canadian tuxedo that I
was wearing, and uh and that and I forget there
was a different haircut that I remember that day. I
was like, interesting because it's the famous not famous photo
(21:00):
famous for me because I see it all the time
of me holding the camera and it used to be
like a gift, like a meme.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
As me holding the camera.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
And I was like watching you, going, oh, I remember this,
this is that moment. What I didn't remember was this
was the beginning of our classic CC in Winston mess
Around exactly. And that's what I found to be interesting
about it. You we have a whole podcast called The
mess Around now and in the at the at the
(21:27):
at the time, CC didn't want it to be a thing.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
I'm telling you, winning the bish manifested something in real life.
A fake character was just like.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
It's act and you will do it. And I was
just like, even after the show is over.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Even after you are no longer ceased to exist, I'm
wearing the shirt, good guy. Yeah, it's a really funny
thing to the fact that.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
You wear the shirt but you cover it every time.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
By the way, I can't help it. Have gon along Indian.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
You can't go behind your hand.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
This looks very weird to do it like you behind,
but then it looks weird. Watch happened? What happens?
Speaker 2 (22:05):
How does that look weird?
Speaker 1 (22:07):
I don't know. I just feel like I look like
I've got no hair. No, I don't know how to
do it. Just this shirt is so all the time
with his shirt, by the way, and it's so like
cozy and soft inside. It's like my sweater I put
on like in the evening and just like cozy up,
so you.
Speaker 3 (22:26):
Wear it to cozy up and you get stopped when
you wear it on the street and you were on
the podcast, and we need to get you some new clothes.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
It's my favorite. The thing that makes me laugh too
is that coach also is like, oh, what do you
finally catches them out. He's like, Oh, it's just a
classic cez In Winston mess around and he's like, yes.
All the way in season four is when this like
they let us start to play around and be weird.
(22:55):
I will I remember you and I though off camera
and then they let us go because then they were
kind of pushing in for the shot, but we were
I think we hung out to watch it because it
was so ridiculous to watch Damon and Max do this
photo shit. Yes, and then who was going to get
to be.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
The top the bottom bottom?
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Yes, in the piggy bat.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
I've been around both of these guys enough to know
that Max is the bottom in that relationship.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
He definitely is. He definitely is.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
I truly I remember laughing so much on set because
it was very rare that I would be just with,
you know, a group of the boys and just get
to hang out and do like weird physical comedy or
like watch it or be part of that scene. That's
not where they usually put CC. And it was the
most fun day. Yeah, they were so extra because that
was also genuine that how it ends up with Damon
(23:53):
on top and Max on the bottom was not they
truly did battle. They truly were wrestlings and the pig
bag that was that's funny, so funny. Also just letting
them kind of run with a stupid little bit of
(24:13):
who's so good looking and really thinking that they can
break their friendship and then it kind of turns back
on and Winnie.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
Oh, yes, yeah you're gonna see So CC's going to
pass these onto her agency.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
That's what she's saying she's going to do. There was
no intention. She just wanted to make them look dumb,
and then she thought when she would and when they
were like, oh but we can only send one, that
they would then start fighting and the whole thing would explode.
But then like the truth of like how much they
love each other and their friendship comes out and it
becomes this big bonding sweet moment and then they're just like,
oh this is that.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
It says he's more runway. Well, Schmid is more high fashion.
Oh it's very sweet. Now we're back with Nick and Jess.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
We're back in Nikka des So it all went side.
Oh no, but we missed the big part, A big
part that happens at the loft and she shows the knee.
Then I just got I got caught up with banjo.
And then the girlfriend comes in and she's just like,
what are you doing with your pants off? What's happening?
And she storms off and she's like, why aren't you
running after your girlfriend? And then she goes, you probably
(25:22):
don't even have a micro beenas you're just like a
liar and a horrible person and everything is horrible. And
then he shows it and apparently and the length of
time that Jay our director gives Zoe to.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
There, he pulled that one of them right there. He
pulled that one of them.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
The funniest is when she leaves and she says something
just like take care of the little guy. It's like
it's like it's so tidy and needs help and support
and lots of love, not for me, but goodbye.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Yeah, he gotta go to Germany and get a reconstructed one.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
You know what I'm saying he needs something Turkey for things.
Speaker 3 (26:05):
Like that, Turkey for your Like they do the hair
stuff in Turkey, they do the penile stuff in Germany.
I just really don't know. I just figure Germans are
great with engineering, so if you have a micro penis,
you need something engineered.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Volkswagen. We say penis a lot on the show.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
I realized, Yeah, that's when you know, like like some
of the writers may have been maybe been like deprived.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
What do you guys talk about the writer's dam just
penis size.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
They don't have They don't have time to go out
and like find it in the wild. You know what
I'm saying, I got to write about it. This is
all their fan fiction. Now where are we?
Speaker 2 (26:45):
Uh okay, oh yeah, she.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Says, take care of that little rub rat? Oh my
yeah so funny.
Speaker 4 (26:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
Then see then Jess is just like listen, forget it.
Here you go like I'll log you into ass chat
and pay for the kitty cam and all the other
bonus features, and I know what is that? I don't
want to know. And then it's that she kind of
like has that moment of like I'm no better than
(27:16):
you guys. I guess I'm a shallow too. I can't
I couldn't do it. And then they have a really
big come to Jesus moment as a loft right where
she starts to realize, like, wow, we all have our thing,
we all have our micro pee, we all have that thing.
(27:37):
Is that what they call it? We all have that
weird thing that we just aren't that proud of. And
then they all kind of start to go around and
talk about each other's little micrope moments, which is really
weird and strange and very funny. And then CC and
Winston caught in a mess around gone very wrong.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
Yes, yes, very very rang.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
They one eight hundreds, like twelve dollars or something to
put a billboard up in Grea.
Speaker 3 (28:06):
That's right, because what happens was, what happens was is that,
you know, Coach sees that CC and Winston are screwing around,
and he knows this is a fake thing. He's like,
this will kill him, this will crush him. You need
to fix this. And so they agree that they're gonna
get They're going to give him this, this thing, this
It's gonna happen. And then we cut to that moment.
(28:29):
We cut to that moment and we see this massive billboard.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
I remember this day. I remember being out there and
we went to Greed.
Speaker 3 (28:37):
Yeah, we were actually there in Koreatown. Now, what I
can't quite remember. I remember going around and doing the scene.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
I remember that specifically.
Speaker 3 (28:47):
What I can't quite remember is was that picture actually
I think the picture was actually up there, wasn't it
or was it a green.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
Screww was actually no, it was actually up there, and
I feel like it stayed.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
I just remember people looking, Am I crazy? I don't know.
I didn't go back and check.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
I feel like someone sent a picture and they were like,
it was still there. That's an Aeron O'Malley question. She
would know, like, I feel like it's stayed for a minute,
because they really put the billboard up. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (29:17):
They were like they paid for it, yeah, spot for
a second, and they kept it up probably for a month.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
That would have been funny if it were up there
for a month.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
I feel like, yeah, I feel like it was up
there for a while. It's a really nice bow on
the end of this episode because jess as the bank
canceled her credit card, which canceled the porn subscription, and
he was like, yeah, I was kind of ruined anyway,
and knowing that you were paying for it, I gotta
lost the mojo on it. And then Coach does a
little extra extortion on CC and Weddy. That's right where
(29:49):
he talks about the feet that Schmid's gonna get paid,
which of course leads to one of the most memorable
tags of all time. He's standing alone Schmidt in front
of his billboard out in Koreatown and just goes million million.
Speaker 3 (30:03):
Let me tell you something, I think when my first
billboard ever went up. In fact, I remember this when
I when I saw my very first billboard. It was
for a show called brain Rush on Cartoon Network. And
when I say far from a millionaire, I think I'm
not joking. I think by the time that billboard went up,
(30:23):
I may have had like six hundred bucks in my account,
maybe less than that.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
So when you have a billboard up, it doesn't mean anything, you.
Speaker 1 (30:32):
Guys, doesn't mean anything. I remember my first billboard that
ever went up, and it was right at the corner
of Sunset and like Fairfax kind of area, or like
one block over, you're that gas stations on the corner.
Then you'd continue to go in the hills and it
(30:54):
was for Ultimate Gamer, my first job I ever got
in the States, and they had partnered with like a
gaming I wear company, and so they had put the
billboard up. I got paid zero dollars and that billboard
was up, and like everybody does if they ever get
a billboard, I went there with my friends and we
like took a picture in front of the billboard. It
(31:16):
was such a big deal. But yeah, zero, but it
did feel like a big moment. But I also did
in my body go like this is the beginning. Well,
there you go, it's my face is up here. And
then nothing happened. And then when it did happen, it
did nothing to do.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
With the bill nothing to do with it. Man, I
don't think. Yeah, a millionaire wasn't until the New Girl
billboards went up, and.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
You had to you had to have a bunch of
people on those billboards millionaires.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
Maybe that's the key.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
All right, when we come back, y'all were going to miss.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
These messages, would be right back yo, and we are back.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
You know, it's funny you just did that. After these messages.
I was thinking about, like, man, the jingle writers in
like the eighties and nineties were crazy because I can
remember those jingles like, do you remember the juicy fruit one?
Speaker 2 (32:13):
How's it go?
Speaker 1 (32:15):
Juicy fruit is gonna move? Yeah, no, juicy food it's
gonna move.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Oh, I think I remember. I either remember that or
that was the Canadian version.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
Maple syrup, that's why it was.
Speaker 3 (32:32):
Yeah, I remember all the jingles from back then, you know,
by Man and fun fact that's the worldly weird, the
world's shortest jingle.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
Wow, worth it in there.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
So, Hannah, let's uh, let's do this thing that you
didn't want to do in the beginning. Let's mess around.
Speaker 4 (32:52):
Let's go.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
Here's my question. Here, here's my mess around question. Okay,
I just realized he's gonna get me to trouble asking
this question. Do you think, as a man that has
met several women in his life and those other men
who has met several women in their life, do you
(33:13):
think the preference would be do do do doo? Small?
Or way too big?
Speaker 3 (33:22):
Well, way too big. It's the preference either one. You
can't use them. No, no, no, it's it's got to be
way too big because because if you because here's the
thing you're saying, way too small, way too a micro
or a micro a micro. No one can use that
(33:43):
like an old woman is gonna be like I. I mean,
you never know. But there is a strange world out
there were women like way too big.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
Just go to ask but ask Chat. Go to ask
Chat and it'll it'll tell you there's some women that
would really enjoy a way too big scenario.
Speaker 3 (34:04):
And even here's the thing about the way too big scenario.
You can make a lot of money that way.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
This is true, that's true for a man, I would
think probably they would rather go way too big than
way too small. But I'm saying from a female perspective,
one is like a weapon.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
Then yeah, one is a weapon.
Speaker 3 (34:25):
But some I think there I think there is a
world in which no one could use the way too
small one.
Speaker 1 (34:33):
No one that's well, no, you know what I mean.
It's almost like on the fringe. There's always people that
that'll be like, that's my things. Are you more likely
way too small the way too big?
Speaker 3 (34:41):
Are you more likely to find someone who's like prefers
it way too small where they get no enjoyment out
of it? Or would you like or would likelihood would
you find a rare group of women that can that
enjoy a really obnoxiously big one.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
You know what I'm realizing this is, this is really
just a Cinderella conversation. This is just really every there's
there's the right foot that will fit into the right
shoe for everybody, and the way too big and the
way too small. As we'll find their people, they will
and just and just was not the person for Matt.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
No, it was a bad fit, you guys. Bad fit.
It all comes back to a Disney movie. Doesn't that
feel right when we're talking about.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
Especial because Nick Miller has a hog.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
The word hog is also is right in the same
bucket as dogs. No racks and.
Speaker 3 (35:32):
Hogs get a nice rack of hog there, you know,
barbecue time.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
But okay, so that was your question, that was my question.
The question is less perverted.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (35:48):
A billboard prank is such a good idea. Who would
you billboard prank?
Speaker 1 (35:58):
I feel like you're gonna probably make me cut this
from the podcast, but I feel like you and Kyle
would billboard prank here to help podcast.
Speaker 3 (36:07):
We probably would. That that's a we probably would. I
think that would be a good one to uh to prank.
But I feel like I would prank. I would want
to prank someone that I don't really know, but I
know they're gonna see it, you know, like a straight
up just like false, I don't know, something like you know,
(36:30):
you drive down you love down Sunset and on one
side of the street, it'll have like a it'll have
like a a Netflix billboard that'll say, you know, Mikey
Madison is a star blah blah blah blah blah when
they're whenever they're promoting a new Netflix movie.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
I would do that.
Speaker 3 (36:46):
I would have that same type of billboard, and then
I would have something where it says, like Zoe Kravitz
called Lamar and Morris yesterday, he did not he did
not pick up, he will not return her phone calls?
Speaker 2 (36:58):
What should she do?
Speaker 3 (37:00):
And then just like leave it up there and people
will be like really, and at some point it's going
to come across her desk. I feel like she doesn't
have a desk, but it's going to come across you know,
like one of her minions.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
And then she should text her this idea now that
you have her number and be like, hey man, what
do you think of this bit?
Speaker 2 (37:17):
Put a billboard up. I'm gonna prank you. Are you cool?
With it.
Speaker 1 (37:19):
I'm gonna prank you, but I also would like to
keep your respect in love. So will this not change up?
Let me know I'm not in fear of.
Speaker 4 (37:27):
Ale butler Off.
Speaker 1 (37:31):
Please tell me the truth. You know what. Actually a
billboard prank, I feel like is a great thing to do,
but from like a nice prank way, Like imagine you
put it up for your mom, best mom her with
like a big trophy next to her right or your daughter,
like that would be so great to do, like a
sweet prank, as like a birthday thing, just driving around
(37:52):
sunset and then you see the thing that.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
Would be nice, that would be that would be something
I'd probably just.
Speaker 1 (37:57):
Yeah, or I prank you know you would probab.
Speaker 3 (38:00):
You know what I've done before them, I've put on live.
I was on live and there's thousands of people looking
at it, and I gave out my I gave out
a friend's phone number. But I said to all the
people that was I said, I said, I have a
friend who love and this is you can ask him.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
His his name is Dom.
Speaker 3 (38:22):
I told all my followers to send him dick pics.
Oh I remember, and he was at home.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
He he had no idea I was on live and
I put hisnob I don't know why I did that.
I still to this day, I'm like, why would I
do that to somebody?
Speaker 3 (38:36):
He calls me up randomly blowing my phone and he's like, dude,
what what what did you? What's what's going on?
Speaker 2 (38:42):
I was like, waite.
Speaker 3 (38:42):
He's like, dude, I'm sitting down here, my girl. And
I'm sitting down here, my girl, and all of a
sudden my phone starts blowing up and I'm looking down
it's just dudes, dicks.
Speaker 1 (38:50):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (38:52):
And he's like he wrote back to Somebody's like, yo,
what the fuck? Why is everybody saying to me this ship?
They were like, oh la morn said to do it.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
I was like, oh god, I'm surprised you didn't pull
up at your house and be like hello, sir.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
I don't know why I did that.
Speaker 1 (39:07):
Was I will say, you seem remorseful. I will say
I I've never received a ditic. That's not true. And
the d ms there has been a millery. I've never
seen them. But because because sorry to say, but the
men who send the dick pics are really stupid humans,
(39:31):
and so they'll say like I'll be like looking at
my whatever, and then it says blurred, right, so I've
never seen it. I'm not gonna look. I don't want
to see your pitiful situation. Yeah so grad so no,
that way it's been said, but I've never seen them.
Speaker 2 (39:47):
Yeah, there you go, there you go.
Speaker 1 (39:50):
Yeah, because they're so happy and proud that they think
someone wants to look at it, so they tell you
what travesty they've just sent you, and then you just.
Speaker 3 (39:59):
You're like, yeah, you don't, Yeah you can't. You can't
get calls in those things. Fellas, stop doing that. Stop
unless she's asking nobody saying hey, can you please send me?
You gotta get so happy for you. But yeah, that's
not you know. Anyway, that's our show.
Speaker 2 (40:15):
That's our show.
Speaker 1 (40:16):
Thanks for listening. Be sure to follow us on ig
at the mess Around Pod. And man, Allan, you crushed
this episode.
Speaker 2 (40:23):
Yes indeed, bro Yeah, I'm so.
Speaker 1 (40:25):
Happy you came on and got really weird and so
Broie because it's a it's a classic man, it's a
classic micro yep.
Speaker 2 (40:34):
And and I hope that's I hope they didn't cast
them based off of that.
Speaker 1 (40:38):
What a way to end the episode. Alan, that was
the mess Around in iHeartMedia Production.
Speaker 3 (40:45):
Our executive producer is Joel Monique. Our senior producer is
Abu Zafar Bei Wang provided engineering and editing services.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
Additional production from Daniel Goodman, Wendy Heisler, and Kyle Shevron.
Our theme song was written and composed by Ronald Jukebox Jackson.
Speaker 2 (41:01):
Catch her Next Time, Bye, h m hmm
Hello, everybody, Hello, everybody.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Hey Hannah, how are you?
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Hello? Hello? Hello. I'm doing a great I will say this.
I have a lot of things in my life that
bother me and need improvement for sure. But the one
thing I have and you also have, is really good skin.
That's just genetics. I do have really good skin, and
(00:42):
so lo and behold my horror today. Oh no, I
got a pimple and I was just like, I'm invited
to my list of issues.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
You're on your own, you.
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Know I do too. So I'm wearing this pimple patch.
You see that this is the worst place to get
it here or like at the tip of your nose,
Like that's the worst to get them on your lips.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
You don't want to get a pimple on your.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Lip, but that's something. Yeah, there's no such thing as
a pimple.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
A pimple on your lip, but yeah, like right here
or right here.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
And this one sucks because I don't First of all,
these patches don't work. I guess all they do is
just cover it for the world not to see because
they don't get rid of them. This isn't This is
going on day three with this fing thing on my
face and it's still there.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Here's the thing I will say. I'm team like Love
Island with this stuff. Do you ever watch Love Island.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
And don't have to be some dumb ship like that?
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Okay, fine, well you're missing out. But here's what they do.
When they all get pimples, they put like their pimple
patches are stars. They just own it. Yeah, generation man,
I love it so much. They're just like, here it is.
Put a start. I'm gonna make a beautiful muskin is
going through something.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
And you're smart because it's like you're gonna be Look
if somebody has a pimple on like a note, like
an obvious noticeable pimple on their forehead or somewhere, you're
gonna look at it. It's not gonna bother you, but
you're gonna look at it.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
And then I'm telling you this one is like it's
a big guy.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
Yeah, but if you put a star on it, people
are gonna look. It's you're gonna look anyway, so you
may as well look at a star.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Put a gold star on it, That's what I'm saying.
I will say, I know everybody's been really worried about
my mess around sweater that I spilled on last week.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
So it's back me too.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
You got too many jobs, That's what I learned about you.
You've got too many jobs. Job, you got too many things,
all right, you guys? It is the mess around And
this is by far one of the most talked about
episodes have. It is called micro. It's called micro. Y'all know,
(02:59):
if you're listening to this podcast, I know you know it.
If I know, you don't even have to rewatch it to.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
Now listening to this podcast, this particular episode, you know
the episode, but you also may know the issue that
the issue may be something that you've personally dealt with
in your life, which I think not a lot of
people have.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
But yeah, it's called micro because of you know, micro penis,
says micro pain.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Should we do?
Speaker 3 (03:27):
After discovering that the guy she's talking to has a
micro penis, Jess makes a bet with Nick that she
can stay in the relationship for over a month to
prove she isn't shallow. Meanwhile, Winston, CC, Trick Schmidt, and
coach As are competing for a modeling gig. It's a
classic Winston and CC mess around.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
That's not a thing.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
So she says, we'll be right back, and we are back.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
This is honestly one of the funniest written episodes ever.
Bye of Course. The Great Josh ma.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
Yes Josh Malmith directed by Jay Schandra Shaker. He is
a fantastic director.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Fantastic director, human person. He was a great director to
work with. He's like, so you know what it is,
he still has like the joy. There's zero things that
are jaded about Jay. When he was on set, like
he was just like so happy. He thought the bits
were so funny. You can see in that cold open
when they're doing like the boobs say like I like
(04:47):
those people. Like when they're doing the boobs whole conversation,
you can just feel Jay just being like happy to
let it go, like just run with it, guys, get
weird with it because there's so much in a group shot. Yeah,
because he's just like having that energy.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
Oh yeah, because you have to. Yeah, imagine he's still
a performer. He still acts. So that's why you know,
when you're an actor and you see the bits, it's
almost like he wants to jump in and play himself.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Shocked. We never had shock. He was never in an episode.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Ye, that's true. That was a miss.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
Yeah complete miss Oh girl, what a miss?
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Complete miss? You use this diver off camera?
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Only they should have cast him. I guess maybe the
only role available if he wanted to act in director
was to be the micrope guy. And he's like, you
know what.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
Jay was like, you know what, I don't need the reputation.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
That's okay.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
He's directed a bunch of these episodes though, yeah, he
did a few.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
Anyway, we're at this bar. Anyway, at this bar, Hannah,
what's going on at this bar? The guys are just
talking about boobies, as men do, right.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
I think what's so great and funny and weird about
this gold open is that they're saying all the quiet
parts out loud. Yeah, Like I do think right. Attracts
is a part of picking your partner, not a friend,
but like a partner. And so attraction is that you're
gonna have things that you're more drawn to or less
(06:10):
drawn to. And so that conversation about being shallow or
not I think is super interesting. But usually you're not
openly at the bar being like I like those boobies,
those are great boobies. That's not going to resonate. Well, no,
but the person that also wants to have an emotional
connection as well as the physical cost.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
So guys don't do this, you know what? You know who?
Speaker 3 (06:27):
I have some friends who are are in their sixties,
late fifties, sixties, and when they're trying to be cool
and they're hanging out, they start speaking this way because
they think that this is how the other guys talk.
And you got to constantly like correct them and go, bro,
you good.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Like a moment walks by, look at look at the
rack on that check and you're like, what you know,
we never did that. That was a TV fit.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
That was like a movie's a TV stereotype about what
we You don't have to say that out loud.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
It is a crazy thing. Also, I knew, I knew
you were going to say the word rack. The rack
conversation is also crazy to call it a rack of what?
Speaker 3 (07:14):
Oh you know, I was trying to be gentle. What
the words for what they were really really saying?
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Yeah, No, no one's out here talking like that, and
if they are, it's very like forty year old vergin Ya.
I'm just like, oh, you've never seen like breasts. Yeah,
you've never actually seen them with your own eyeballs, like
real human right breasts.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Yeah, so that's good to know.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
I learned so much about you. So Jess is on
a whole tip because she's just like, I'm not shallow.
I don't sit there and pick my partner just based
on what they look like. And then she kind of
challenges Nick and she's like, would you have ruled me
out for my boobs? And he's like no, because they're perfect.
But then you're won. And then that thing when they
(07:55):
cut to you guys all getting so close to it
is so funny to me, Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
You know what I hated about this moment? I think
what that they would uh you know, they they it
was a script.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
It was scripted, so I said it, and you know,
it's a funny bit where I go, You're at eight,
You're at eight and a half, and I'm a.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Sweet, sweet six. You know, I have you know, sons
of bitches I have.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
You know that that same year, I want to say
it was that same year.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Maybe it was a year later, who knows.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
Cosmo magazine called me one of the hottest TV actors
of all time and I was number thirty. You know,
who was you know who was you know who was
thirty one? George Colooney. Yeah, I didn't see Max on
that list.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
I didn't see Damon on that list.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
So while I'm getting while the writers are saying that
they're eight, eight and a half and I'm a six,
I got something. I got news for you. Fuck you anyway,
That's what I got to.
Speaker 4 (09:07):
Say about it.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Here's the part that made me laugh the most is
that you give these compliments, then you do something that's
self deprecating and you say six, which is obviously not true,
and nobody challenges it. It's the funniest part. Nobody goes,
come on, man, no at least a seven. No, Nope,
I don't want that's where they did your dirty that
everyone went, yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
Every dirty And you know what, I'm okay with it.
I'm okay.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
I'm almost okay with it because I'm not sure who's
laughing now?
Speaker 1 (09:35):
This is true? And we know that they give the
Emmys to the most attractive actor that year.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
That's how you that's all you know, because you got
to get out there.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Who's the hottest guy that year? And then they go like,
here's a nice one.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
You know what, I'm saying to Josh Melmouth, where your
is that?
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Doesn't he have one?
Speaker 2 (09:55):
Probably?
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Oh my god. Okay, so hold on a second, because
Alan Richard Richmon Richson, very good looking man, jumps it.
I'm looking up right now all the stuff he has done.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
Reacher, are you kidding me? Is he the star?
Speaker 4 (10:15):
And Reacher?
Speaker 2 (10:16):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (10:17):
Is he Reacheracher? He's mister Reacher.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
What Alan? The dude is a beast. The dude is
a yeah, mi mega star.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
He was on American Idol doing what like Paula up singing?
Speaker 2 (10:35):
He wasn't.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
His appearance on the show was noted for his strip
teas in one episode in which he charmed Judge Paula
Abduel during his audition. This is American Idol. He was
one of the top eighty seven contestants in the third season,
but was cut before the Hollywood.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Round, which is so crazy.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
That must have been before it was The Blue Mountain
State he was on and those shows, I think, because.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
That was before A New Girl too. It must have
been before then.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Yeah, but he's not a bunch of movies like really
cool movies and yeah, gentleman, was that a movie that
he just did?
Speaker 1 (11:09):
I don't know. Alan what a career you've had.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
With Gonzales and Henry cavill.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
I think it was a guy Richie, but.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
He uh, he just joined the cast of Fast X.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Yeah. He's been in Fast and Furious. He was in
The Fat he's in the Fast Fast.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
He looks that way like when they cut across and
she's like sitting in the booth and she's like, oh
my god, my friends are the worst. I'm just gonna
sit here because they're so shallow, and then whatever, and
then she looks up and then she like forgets how
to just speak word. He just has that whole Hemsworth
like vibe with the two and the thing and the brooding.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
Yeah, and she's just like, I know the feeling.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
That thing that Zoe does where she's like just needs
a second to get the words out is everything.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
Like I know the feeling women when they see me.
It's a very similar, very very similar, very similar.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
Yeah, sure, I just don't know how to talk.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
I will say it was a wild thing, and I
thought it was a really strong choice for the episode
that he says it out the gate where he's just like,
I just want you to know full disclosure. I have
a very very very very very very very tiny panis.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
You know what, you know what, you know what I blame.
I blame the parents.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
I blame the parents for not like because you could
nip that in the bud like when they're like when
they're young, you could you should know like, Okay, this
ain't this ain't right, and you got to do something
about it.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Then see what my brain went to. You know what
I thought you were talking about when you said I
blame the parents, I thought you meant, like, you know,
two people that have the same kind of issue, shouldn't
like breed and have a child, and to get the
wife's like dad to be like we should let's cross
(13:01):
reference these penises because the.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
Wife's dad has a micro and then the dad has
a micro maybe a micro yeah no, But there's like
things you can do to stimulate the petuitary gland. That's
got to be an issue with the petuitary gland. That's
that's stopping the process of natural human growth hormone. Because
that is crazy. It's crazy that he is that big,
(13:25):
which means his body got big, but the one thing didn't.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
That's the one thing stay tiny, yea. But he owns it.
He's like, Okay, this is what it is, and he
is so good looking that it obviously has not been
an issue.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Can be blessed with both, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Mm hmm. So then she they go they're going to
go on a date, and she does this bet.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
Yes, he does the bet with with with Nick.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Nick that she's going to stay in this relationship for
like a month, No big deal because she's not shallow, right,
and she's very excited about it. She thinks it's gonna
be no issue. It's totally fine because spoiler alert, she
does not know that he as a human being is.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
The worst, absolute worst, you know.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
And he plays it, by the way, so perfectly because
I got the itch so badly from him the entire time.
I was so grossed out by what is on the
surface a very good looking person, and I was just
like watching it, I was like, oh, which means.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
He's a great actor, great actor.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Where do you go? Alan?
Speaker 4 (14:33):
Now?
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Now, let's talk about it. I was disgusted by let's
talk about this. The bet wages. What's on the line here.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
Because because if Nick loses, he has to donate five
hundred dollars of the National organization for women's Love Your
Body campaign and if Nick wins, just to buy him
a subscription to ass chat.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
But do you remember the names some of the names
that we were throwing out when he was like, what's
sighting Nubian?
Speaker 1 (15:03):
These were all improvised.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
I never went back and looked it up.
Speaker 3 (15:07):
It's off that any of these names were real if
they existed, But I'm sure they do.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
I mean, if they did, they got like Freem for sure.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Mad as a street artist. He paints on walls.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
Just this, did you say, like a rat with a
backpack or something? That's what I see when I see
the wall. I was just like, oh no.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
It was so funny how she's describing you, you know
what I mean, like.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Oh yeah, the boys sit around and they're staring at
a micro penis, and then they all describe what the
micro penis looks like, like a what like a lone
tent and a very vast fast, vast fast fast.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
Oh my gosh, Schmidt wants to Schmid says, if he could,
he would give him some of his penis.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
But you don't pull he don't pull a bump off
of a Ferrari out of control.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Oh yeah, schmid coacher at the bar, and they're just
complimenting each other because now they feel really good about
themselves that they've seen a micro penis, and so they're
complimenting and complimenting, and Winston and CC are getting annoyed
death at the situation and realize, how can we mess
(16:20):
with these idiots?
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (16:23):
And make them make fools of themselves?
Speaker 3 (16:24):
Yes, is this the moment in which we describe what's
about to happen between us? Or No, that's not it.
We'll get into that a little bit later before. But
let's let's let's go to a quick commercial break. And
when we come back, there's a there's a section that
I want to bring up, and I'm not going to
bring it up because it's useless.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
But and then we're going to move on.
Speaker 4 (16:44):
Okay, and we are back.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
We're back, and Jess has learned that this guy is
the absolute worst person in the entire world and she
needs out of the bet. And she says it's not
because of the micro which, by the way, she's telling
the truth, she hasn't even like seen or dealt with
it in any situation. She just can't even be around
this person for five minutes she's just so deeply ickified. Yes,
(17:24):
but of course the math does not math to Nick.
So he's like, nah, you made that bet.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Yeah, I gotta say you got too.
Speaker 3 (17:33):
So Jess is like, listen, listen man, I'm gonna be
out of town for the next month.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
He says, for truth, for truth, for this is so stupid.
For truth, you know, that's like.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
A like a like Beligians sometimes when they say, like,
that's the truth, they say sometimes they'll say, like for true,
that's for true.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
That's what I thought they were doing here for truth,
you know, the Italians do that. It's not the same thing.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
It's true, it's true, it's the same thing for true.
For true is different than it's true. It's true as normal,
it's true proper.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
If he's.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
This thing, go, I'd been trapped in a bed. To
have to hang out with that guy was giving me
such anxiety. I will say I loved watching Jake so
much around Alan because aka Matt in the episode, because
you could see how much Jake loved it. There's nothing
more he loved than like a bro he bro browing out,
(18:39):
you know, and he just he was just soaking in
how this guy was like playing the character. He was
so happy to see his happy little Jake. And so
then basically Jess is just like, she can't do it.
She's gonna tell the truth, she's gonna own up to it,
and she's gonna go to his loft, right, and she's
(19:01):
just gonna say, it's not your micro penis, it's your
whole personality. Yes, she goes to his art studio and
she then does her whole big speech on it, which
kind of breaks him, and then he's vulnerable, and then
he explains that he has a bad personality though because
(19:22):
of his insecurities around the micro penis. And then just
as she starts to then get vulnerable, she then starts
to show her wonky knee, so she takes her pants.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
Down to show it just so TV.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
It's such a so TV that she takes her pants
down to show the knee. And then out of that
super famous John bon Jovi music video what bet of
Roses I think it was? Or I Will Always Love
You or one of those not I'll Always love you
John Bojovi? What's that video?
Speaker 4 (19:53):
Do you remember?
Speaker 1 (19:53):
We're like they're in the big art loft, and then
the girlfriend sees on the camera that he's cheating.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
What John bonjob he had caught cheating on camera.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
It was a real Shaggy moment, Shaggy, but real ones
know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Shaggy and bon Jovi did a song together.
Speaker 1 (20:09):
Shaggy Jovi did a.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
Song together with Zoey Chanel was pants down.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
This is the worst game of telephone I've ever played.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
And it's just back John bon Jovi and Shaggy was
sleeping together. Zoe watched on camera.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Oh my god, oh my gosh, chat that's right now,
good old as So she's telling she's telling the truth.
But and then we cut back to the.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
La Yes, we cut back to the loft. Now Winston
and CC there are. I remember this moment. I remember
this day based off of the Canadian tuxedo that I
was wearing, and uh and that and I forget there
was a different haircut that I remember that day. I
was like, interesting because it's the famous not famous photo
(21:00):
famous for me because I see it all the time
of me holding the camera and it used to be
like a gift, like a meme.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
As me holding the camera.
Speaker 3 (21:06):
And I was like watching you, going, oh, I remember this,
this is that moment. What I didn't remember was this
was the beginning of our classic CC in Winston mess
Around exactly. And that's what I found to be interesting
about it. You we have a whole podcast called The
mess Around now and in the at the at the
(21:27):
at the time, CC didn't want it to be a thing.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
I'm telling you, winning the bish manifested something in real life.
A fake character was just like.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
It's act and you will do it. And I was
just like, even after the show is over.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Even after you are no longer ceased to exist, I'm
wearing the shirt, good guy. Yeah, it's a really funny
thing to the fact that.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
You wear the shirt but you cover it every time.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
By the way, I can't help it. Have gon along Indian.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
You can't go behind your hand.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
This looks very weird to do it like you behind,
but then it looks weird. Watch happened? What happens?
Speaker 2 (22:05):
How does that look weird?
Speaker 1 (22:07):
I don't know. I just feel like I look like
I've got no hair. No, I don't know how to
do it. Just this shirt is so all the time
with his shirt, by the way, and it's so like
cozy and soft inside. It's like my sweater I put
on like in the evening and just like cozy up,
so you.
Speaker 3 (22:26):
Wear it to cozy up and you get stopped when
you wear it on the street and you were on
the podcast, and we need to get you some new clothes.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
It's my favorite. The thing that makes me laugh too
is that coach also is like, oh, what do you
finally catches them out. He's like, Oh, it's just a
classic cez In Winston mess around and he's like, yes.
All the way in season four is when this like
they let us start to play around and be weird.
(22:55):
I will I remember you and I though off camera
and then they let us go because then they were
kind of pushing in for the shot, but we were
I think we hung out to watch it because it
was so ridiculous to watch Damon and Max do this
photo shit. Yes, and then who was going to get
to be.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
The top the bottom bottom?
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Yes, in the piggy bat.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
I've been around both of these guys enough to know
that Max is the bottom in that relationship.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
He definitely is. He definitely is.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
I truly I remember laughing so much on set because
it was very rare that I would be just with,
you know, a group of the boys and just get
to hang out and do like weird physical comedy or
like watch it or be part of that scene. That's
not where they usually put CC. And it was the
most fun day. Yeah, they were so extra because that
was also genuine that how it ends up with Damon
(23:53):
on top and Max on the bottom was not they
truly did battle. They truly were wrestlings and the pig
bag that was that's funny, so funny. Also just letting
them kind of run with a stupid little bit of
(24:13):
who's so good looking and really thinking that they can
break their friendship and then it kind of turns back
on and Winnie.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
Oh, yes, yeah you're gonna see So CC's going to
pass these onto her agency.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
That's what she's saying she's going to do. There was
no intention. She just wanted to make them look dumb,
and then she thought when she would and when they
were like, oh but we can only send one, that
they would then start fighting and the whole thing would explode.
But then like the truth of like how much they
love each other and their friendship comes out and it
becomes this big bonding sweet moment and then they're just like,
oh this is that.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
It says he's more runway. Well, Schmid is more high fashion.
Oh it's very sweet. Now we're back with Nick and Jess.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
We're back in Nikka des So it all went side.
Oh no, but we missed the big part, A big
part that happens at the loft and she shows the knee.
Then I just got I got caught up with banjo.
And then the girlfriend comes in and she's just like,
what are you doing with your pants off? What's happening?
And she storms off and she's like, why aren't you
running after your girlfriend? And then she goes, you probably
(25:22):
don't even have a micro beenas you're just like a
liar and a horrible person and everything is horrible. And
then he shows it and apparently and the length of
time that Jay our director gives Zoe to.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
There, he pulled that one of them right there. He
pulled that one of them.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
The funniest is when she leaves and she says something
just like take care of the little guy. It's like
it's like it's so tidy and needs help and support
and lots of love, not for me, but goodbye.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Yeah, he gotta go to Germany and get a reconstructed one.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
You know what I'm saying he needs something Turkey for things.
Speaker 3 (26:05):
Like that, Turkey for your Like they do the hair
stuff in Turkey, they do the penile stuff in Germany.
I just really don't know. I just figure Germans are
great with engineering, so if you have a micro penis,
you need something engineered.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Volkswagen. We say penis a lot on the show.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
I realized, Yeah, that's when you know, like like some
of the writers may have been maybe been like deprived.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
What do you guys talk about the writer's dam just
penis size.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
They don't have They don't have time to go out
and like find it in the wild. You know what
I'm saying, I got to write about it. This is
all their fan fiction. Now where are we?
Speaker 2 (26:45):
Uh okay, oh yeah, she.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Says, take care of that little rub rat? Oh my
yeah so funny.
Speaker 4 (26:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
Then see then Jess is just like listen, forget it.
Here you go like I'll log you into ass chat
and pay for the kitty cam and all the other
bonus features, and I know what is that? I don't
want to know. And then it's that she kind of
like has that moment of like I'm no better than
(27:16):
you guys. I guess I'm a shallow too. I can't
I couldn't do it. And then they have a really
big come to Jesus moment as a loft right where
she starts to realize, like, wow, we all have our thing,
we all have our micro pee, we all have that thing.
(27:37):
Is that what they call it? We all have that
weird thing that we just aren't that proud of. And
then they all kind of start to go around and
talk about each other's little micrope moments, which is really
weird and strange and very funny. And then CC and
Winston caught in a mess around gone very wrong.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
Yes, yes, very very rang.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
They one eight hundreds, like twelve dollars or something to
put a billboard up in Grea.
Speaker 3 (28:06):
That's right, because what happens was, what happens was is that,
you know, Coach sees that CC and Winston are screwing around,
and he knows this is a fake thing. He's like,
this will kill him, this will crush him. You need
to fix this. And so they agree that they're gonna
get They're going to give him this, this thing, this
It's gonna happen. And then we cut to that moment.
(28:29):
We cut to that moment and we see this massive billboard.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
I remember this day. I remember being out there and
we went to Greed.
Speaker 3 (28:37):
Yeah, we were actually there in Koreatown. Now, what I
can't quite remember. I remember going around and doing the scene.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
I remember that specifically.
Speaker 3 (28:47):
What I can't quite remember is was that picture actually
I think the picture was actually up there, wasn't it
or was it a green.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
Screww was actually no, it was actually up there, and
I feel like it stayed.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
I just remember people looking, Am I crazy? I don't know.
I didn't go back and check.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
I feel like someone sent a picture and they were like,
it was still there. That's an Aeron O'Malley question. She
would know, like, I feel like it's stayed for a minute,
because they really put the billboard up. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (29:17):
They were like they paid for it, yeah, spot for
a second, and they kept it up probably for a month.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
That would have been funny if it were up there
for a month.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
I feel like, yeah, I feel like it was up
there for a while. It's a really nice bow on
the end of this episode because jess as the bank
canceled her credit card, which canceled the porn subscription, and
he was like, yeah, I was kind of ruined anyway,
and knowing that you were paying for it, I gotta
lost the mojo on it. And then Coach does a
little extra extortion on CC and Weddy. That's right where
(29:49):
he talks about the feet that Schmid's gonna get paid,
which of course leads to one of the most memorable
tags of all time. He's standing alone Schmidt in front
of his billboard out in Koreatown and just goes million million.
Speaker 3 (30:03):
Let me tell you something, I think when my first
billboard ever went up. In fact, I remember this when
I when I saw my very first billboard. It was
for a show called brain Rush on Cartoon Network. And
when I say far from a millionaire, I think I'm
not joking. I think by the time that billboard went up,
(30:23):
I may have had like six hundred bucks in my account,
maybe less than that.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
So when you have a billboard up, it doesn't mean anything, you.
Speaker 1 (30:32):
Guys, doesn't mean anything. I remember my first billboard that
ever went up, and it was right at the corner
of Sunset and like Fairfax kind of area, or like
one block over, you're that gas stations on the corner.
Then you'd continue to go in the hills and it
(30:54):
was for Ultimate Gamer, my first job I ever got
in the States, and they had partnered with like a
gaming I wear company, and so they had put the
billboard up. I got paid zero dollars and that billboard
was up, and like everybody does if they ever get
a billboard, I went there with my friends and we
like took a picture in front of the billboard. It
(31:16):
was such a big deal. But yeah, zero, but it
did feel like a big moment. But I also did
in my body go like this is the beginning. Well,
there you go, it's my face is up here. And
then nothing happened. And then when it did happen, it
did nothing to do.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
With the bill nothing to do with it. Man, I
don't think. Yeah, a millionaire wasn't until the New Girl
billboards went up, and.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
You had to you had to have a bunch of
people on those billboards millionaires.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
Maybe that's the key.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
All right, when we come back, y'all were going to miss.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
These messages, would be right back yo, and we are back.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
You know, it's funny you just did that. After these messages.
I was thinking about, like, man, the jingle writers in
like the eighties and nineties were crazy because I can
remember those jingles like, do you remember the juicy fruit one?
Speaker 2 (32:13):
How's it go?
Speaker 1 (32:15):
Juicy fruit is gonna move? Yeah, no, juicy food it's
gonna move.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Oh, I think I remember. I either remember that or
that was the Canadian version.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
Maple syrup, that's why it was.
Speaker 3 (32:32):
Yeah, I remember all the jingles from back then, you know,
by Man and fun fact that's the worldly weird, the
world's shortest jingle.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
Wow, worth it in there.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
So, Hannah, let's uh, let's do this thing that you
didn't want to do in the beginning. Let's mess around.
Speaker 4 (32:52):
Let's go.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
Here's my question. Here, here's my mess around question. Okay,
I just realized he's gonna get me to trouble asking
this question. Do you think, as a man that has
met several women in his life and those other men
who has met several women in their life, do you
(33:13):
think the preference would be do do do doo? Small?
Or way too big?
Speaker 3 (33:22):
Well, way too big. It's the preference either one. You
can't use them. No, no, no, it's it's got to be
way too big because because if you because here's the
thing you're saying, way too small, way too a micro
or a micro a micro. No one can use that
(33:43):
like an old woman is gonna be like I. I mean,
you never know. But there is a strange world out
there were women like way too big.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
Just go to ask but ask Chat. Go to ask
Chat and it'll it'll tell you there's some women that
would really enjoy a way too big scenario.
Speaker 3 (34:04):
And even here's the thing about the way too big scenario.
You can make a lot of money that way.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
This is true, that's true for a man, I would
think probably they would rather go way too big than
way too small. But I'm saying from a female perspective,
one is like a weapon.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
Then yeah, one is a weapon.
Speaker 3 (34:25):
But some I think there I think there is a
world in which no one could use the way too
small one.
Speaker 1 (34:33):
No one that's well, no, you know what I mean.
It's almost like on the fringe. There's always people that
that'll be like, that's my things. Are you more likely
way too small the way too big?
Speaker 3 (34:41):
Are you more likely to find someone who's like prefers
it way too small where they get no enjoyment out
of it? Or would you like or would likelihood would
you find a rare group of women that can that
enjoy a really obnoxiously big one.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
You know what I'm realizing this is, this is really
just a Cinderella conversation. This is just really every there's
there's the right foot that will fit into the right
shoe for everybody, and the way too big and the
way too small. As we'll find their people, they will
and just and just was not the person for Matt.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
No, it was a bad fit, you guys. Bad fit.
It all comes back to a Disney movie. Doesn't that
feel right when we're talking about.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
Especial because Nick Miller has a hog.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
The word hog is also is right in the same
bucket as dogs. No racks and.
Speaker 3 (35:32):
Hogs get a nice rack of hog there, you know,
barbecue time.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
But okay, so that was your question, that was my question.
The question is less perverted.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (35:48):
A billboard prank is such a good idea. Who would
you billboard prank?
Speaker 1 (35:58):
I feel like you're gonna probably make me cut this
from the podcast, but I feel like you and Kyle
would billboard prank here to help podcast.
Speaker 3 (36:07):
We probably would. That that's a we probably would. I
think that would be a good one to uh to prank.
But I feel like I would prank. I would want
to prank someone that I don't really know, but I
know they're gonna see it, you know, like a straight
up just like false, I don't know, something like you know,
(36:30):
you drive down you love down Sunset and on one
side of the street, it'll have like a it'll have
like a a Netflix billboard that'll say, you know, Mikey
Madison is a star blah blah blah blah blah when
they're whenever they're promoting a new Netflix movie.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
I would do that.
Speaker 3 (36:46):
I would have that same type of billboard, and then
I would have something where it says, like Zoe Kravitz
called Lamar and Morris yesterday, he did not he did
not pick up, he will not return her phone calls?
Speaker 2 (36:58):
What should she do?
Speaker 3 (37:00):
And then just like leave it up there and people
will be like really, and at some point it's going
to come across her desk. I feel like she doesn't
have a desk, but it's going to come across you know,
like one of her minions.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
And then she should text her this idea now that
you have her number and be like, hey man, what
do you think of this bit?
Speaker 2 (37:17):
Put a billboard up. I'm gonna prank you. Are you cool?
With it.
Speaker 1 (37:19):
I'm gonna prank you, but I also would like to
keep your respect in love. So will this not change up?
Let me know I'm not in fear of.
Speaker 4 (37:27):
Ale butler Off.
Speaker 1 (37:31):
Please tell me the truth. You know what. Actually a
billboard prank, I feel like is a great thing to do,
but from like a nice prank way, Like imagine you
put it up for your mom, best mom her with
like a big trophy next to her right or your daughter,
like that would be so great to do, like a
sweet prank, as like a birthday thing, just driving around
(37:52):
sunset and then you see the thing that.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
Would be nice, that would be that would be something
I'd probably just.
Speaker 1 (37:57):
Yeah, or I prank you know you would probab.
Speaker 3 (38:00):
You know what I've done before them, I've put on live.
I was on live and there's thousands of people looking
at it, and I gave out my I gave out
a friend's phone number. But I said to all the
people that was I said, I said, I have a
friend who love and this is you can ask him.
Speaker 2 (38:19):
His his name is Dom.
Speaker 3 (38:22):
I told all my followers to send him dick pics.
Oh I remember, and he was at home.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
He he had no idea I was on live and
I put hisnob I don't know why I did that.
I still to this day, I'm like, why would I
do that to somebody?
Speaker 3 (38:36):
He calls me up randomly blowing my phone and he's like, dude,
what what what did you? What's what's going on?
Speaker 2 (38:42):
I was like, waite.
Speaker 3 (38:42):
He's like, dude, I'm sitting down here, my girl. And
I'm sitting down here, my girl, and all of a
sudden my phone starts blowing up and I'm looking down
it's just dudes, dicks.
Speaker 1 (38:50):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (38:52):
And he's like he wrote back to Somebody's like, yo,
what the fuck? Why is everybody saying to me this ship?
They were like, oh la morn said to do it.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
I was like, oh god, I'm surprised you didn't pull
up at your house and be like hello, sir.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
I don't know why I did that.
Speaker 1 (39:07):
Was I will say, you seem remorseful. I will say
I I've never received a ditic. That's not true. And
the d ms there has been a millery. I've never
seen them. But because because sorry to say, but the
men who send the dick pics are really stupid humans,
(39:31):
and so they'll say like I'll be like looking at
my whatever, and then it says blurred, right, so I've
never seen it. I'm not gonna look. I don't want
to see your pitiful situation. Yeah so grad so no,
that way it's been said, but I've never seen them.
Speaker 2 (39:47):
Yeah, there you go, there you go.
Speaker 1 (39:50):
Yeah, because they're so happy and proud that they think
someone wants to look at it, so they tell you
what travesty they've just sent you, and then you just.
Speaker 3 (39:59):
You're like, yeah, you don't, Yeah you can't. You can't
get calls in those things. Fellas, stop doing that. Stop
unless she's asking nobody saying hey, can you please send me?
You gotta get so happy for you. But yeah, that's
not you know. Anyway, that's our show.
Speaker 2 (40:15):
That's our show.
Speaker 1 (40:16):
Thanks for listening. Be sure to follow us on ig
at the mess Around Pod. And man, Allan, you crushed
this episode.
Speaker 2 (40:23):
Yes indeed, bro Yeah, I'm so.
Speaker 1 (40:25):
Happy you came on and got really weird and so
Broie because it's a it's a classic man, it's a
classic micro yep.
Speaker 2 (40:34):
And and I hope that's I hope they didn't cast
them based off of that.
Speaker 1 (40:38):
What a way to end the episode. Alan, that was
the mess Around in iHeartMedia Production.
Speaker 3 (40:45):
Our executive producer is Joel Monique. Our senior producer is
Abu Zafar Bei Wang provided engineering and editing services.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
Additional production from Daniel Goodman, Wendy Heisler, and Kyle Shevron.
Our theme song was written and composed by Ronald Jukebox Jackson.
Speaker 2 (41:01):
Catch her Next Time, Bye, h m hmm
Hosts And Creators
Lamorne Morris
Hannah Simone
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