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May 22, 2025 14 mins

We got TWO voicenotes from fans and Hannah is in heaven. We learn about how Jess was destined to get ghiardia and the secrets life of Officer Deb DARE officiant. 

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:18):
Hey, roumies, we're calling a loft meeting. You know what
time it is. It's time for us to hear from you,
the ones that love New Girl as much as we do.

Speaker 2 (00:31):
You can tell us.

Speaker 1 (00:32):
Your thoughts, your conspiracy theories, the loopholes in the show.
We want to know what you have found out, how
it's inspired things in your life, derailed relationships, made relationships.

Speaker 2 (00:44):
This is where you can share it.

Speaker 1 (00:45):
And we talk about it. So let's kick things off first.
We have a voice note from Alana.

Speaker 3 (00:53):
Hi, Hannah, Hyla Morne, if you are here for this
particular loft meeting, I just wanted to who share that.
Julie Berkman's older sister is also one of my very
favorite episodes of New Girl. I loved listening to you
guys recap it. I think the highlight for me was

(01:13):
hearing Hannah's confusion about DARE officers and not understanding why
I was bad that Julie berkmaner, and it brought back
fond memories for me of my DARE officer. Her name
was Deputy Deb and I caught her smoking SIGs outside

(01:34):
behind the gym, and I think she hated us. I
think she hated her job. I think she definitely did
not hate drugs, and yeah, I still think about her
to this day. She was terrifying and I hope she's
doing good. But yeah, Dare officers are real and they

(01:54):
will scar you for the rest of your life, I think,
at least in my exp So thank you for that laugh, Hannah.
I also just wanted to say that this is the
episode where I realized that Jess was meant to get giardia,
because in season three, the Thanksgiving episode, Jess gets giardia

(02:20):
and she gets Legionnaire's disease whatever that is, from eating
the dead fish that Nick got. And even though she
did not get giardia in high school, she was meant
to get that hideous river disease, I think.

Speaker 2 (02:38):
So.

Speaker 3 (02:38):
Shout out to trAshley Berkman for saving her one time,
but she could not run. She could not run from
giardia anyway, Thank you for your wonderful recap. Much love,
and I can't wait to keep listening.

Speaker 1 (02:52):
Oh my goodness, Alana, I want to have you on
the show. These are very, very like astute observances. You're right, wow,
trAshley Berkman did save her, but.

Speaker 2 (03:08):
She was faded. She was faded to get Giardia. Oh
my god.

Speaker 1 (03:13):
It's always things like that where I wonder where I'm like,
did the writers like know that or did they just
not even realize they've got a thing for Giardia. It's
kind of like the bear thing, Like did they know
or is it just something that kind of was just
living and moving around in there and their.

Speaker 2 (03:31):
And their writer's room brain. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (03:34):
I wonder if writers are like aware when they when
they have things like that happen, because it would be
kind of cool to be.

Speaker 2 (03:41):
Like, man, there was no run in jest that Giardia
was gonna get you. Yeah, and trashy Berkman saved her.

Speaker 1 (03:48):
I also did not know so many things about DARE officers,
but I would like to know everything about Deputy deb
I love the fact that she clearly loved drugs and
hated her job. And it's people like that that you
will never ever forget someone who was so unapologetically themselves
and so clearly in the wrong career. I remember when

(04:11):
I moved to LA I did not know how to drive. Yes,
I was well past the point of when I should
have known how to drive, but I grew up in
countries where you weren't driving. I wasn't driving in India
or Saudi Arabia, so I didn't need that particular skill.
And then I moved to La and you definitely need
to know how to drive. So I got a driving instructor.
Her name was Destiny. I think about her all the time,

(04:33):
and I love her so much. I loved her then
and I had a garmin like a like a sat
NAV in the car so I could be like, Okay,
let's put in her destination because Elle is a big
city with a billion streets, and like, you're gonna have
to drive all over this place. She immediately when she
got into the car, ripped the sat nav the garment,

(04:55):
like off of like where it was a fixed to
on my dad, and threw it in the back.

Speaker 2 (05:02):
Of the car.

Speaker 1 (05:04):
And I was like what And she was like, my
name is Destiny. She said, you will live in La now.
You need to know where you were at it all times,
and not through some computer.

Speaker 2 (05:14):
You're going to learn the streets. And I was like,
oh my god, I guess she's not wrong.

Speaker 1 (05:21):
And she made us like drive to and from like
I was shooting at a studio then, and like back
to my apartment.

Speaker 2 (05:26):
She's like, you need to.

Speaker 1 (05:26):
Know where you are all the time. She also talked
about how she would buy knockoff Sean John shirts for
her boyfriend and that he wasn't allowed to complain because
that boy got a Shan John shirt. I remember her
saying that to me a lot. She was one of
my favorite human beings in the world. And she clearly
was very annoyed by having to be in traffic all

(05:48):
day long as part of her job. But she was
a great driving teacher and she definitely left an imprint.
She also told me something that was the most true
thing I've ever experienced in LA, where she said the
only thing you need to be scared of driving in
La is buses. She said, bus drivers in LA are
the true gangsters of LA and they will run you

(06:11):
over and knock your car into next week. You see
a bus coming, you need to change lanes and like,
get a whole city block away from that bus.

Speaker 2 (06:20):
They're going to get you. And she was right.

Speaker 1 (06:22):
Have you ever been around a bus in La. There
are ruthless, They have no patience for you. They will
move your car for you. So, Deputy deb I feel
like in destiny that'd be a great show. I listened
to that podcast should we get them together? Thank you, Alana,
thank you for leaving that voice note. Thank you for
that Giardia observance and telling me about your wonderful, terrible

(06:44):
dear officer.

Speaker 2 (06:45):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (06:45):
The next one is from Jennifer Mullens from Texas. She says,
here's my voice mama for the loft meeting. It's for
season four, episode six. I know Hannah loves voice memos, yay,
and Laburn's hates reading anything of her four sentences.

Speaker 2 (06:58):
Thanks Hanna, Lamur, and I love the podcast.

Speaker 3 (06:59):
Keep up.

Speaker 2 (06:59):
Then, thank you Jennifer for listening. It is true. I
love a voice memo. I love to hear your voices.

Speaker 4 (07:04):
Okay, Hi Hannah, my name is Jennifer and I'm from Texas.

Speaker 2 (07:08):
I love New Girl.

Speaker 4 (07:09):
It always brightens my day and gives me a laugh
when I need it most. The show has been a
great stress relief and wait to take some time for myself.
I love also listening to the podcast and finding out
the backstories of each episode. Finding the bear in each
episode has also been fun. In season four, episode six
was Jake Johnson's dialogue at fourteen minutes forty two seconds

(07:31):
with the police officer one on one, written out or
improv This episode has been one of my favorite episodes
while I've been rewatching the series. Hannah and Lamarn too.
If you're there, what was your favorite episode to film
or to rewatch as part of this podcast Keep Bear Hunting?

Speaker 1 (07:51):
Thank you, Jennifer. I love the little Texan accent everything.
How funny would it be if they just let Jake
improv of all those weird things and he was just
actually confessing things from his real life.

Speaker 2 (08:06):
That'd be so great.

Speaker 1 (08:08):
I think it was all written. It was all written alts,
and I think they had a lot of fun coming
up with them. But I think they're always based in
some truth. That's what makes them so funny. I think
that they're based in some truth. Uh yeah, So I
don't think that he improved any of it, but I
think there were probably, yeah, a lot that was handed over.

Speaker 2 (08:26):
Thank you for telling me to keep up the bear Hunt.

Speaker 1 (08:28):
I will with help from people like you, And I
would say this episode the background check episode. I talk
about it when we did our recap one morning, and
I it was one of my favorite to shoot. We
just got to all be there all day. We were
all on the same storyline. It was silly, it was
Zany had so much suspension of belief in it. It

(08:50):
just made for such a fun one to do. Cleo
King was so phenomenal coming in and she had such
dry humor because she was sad over her dead bird.

Speaker 2 (09:03):
That was I don't know.

Speaker 1 (09:04):
It was just a really wonderful one. And it was
also like a feel good one, like Nick gets a
win by you know, keeping a secret, and Winston gets
a win because he didn't, you know, get accepted to
the police academy because of the help of his friends.
He got accepted because he's like the best cadet, which
is wonderful. And then you see Schmidt and CC really

(09:24):
start to come back together, which was always so sweet.

Speaker 2 (09:28):
For the story all of it.

Speaker 1 (09:30):
You got to watch Jess be totally out of her
mind and be so funny and do so much physical comedy.
It was such a great, great episode and just one
of my absolute favorites. Thank you, though, for sending in
a voice memoir. I really do love hearing your voices.
It's wonderful. Oh wait, next one, Oh this is from

(10:00):
someone named Hannah. You know, growing up, I knew no,
Hannah's none, and there must have been like a resurgence recently,
because now I made all sorts of hannahs okay. So
background Check has to be one of my favorite episodes
of all time. I could not catch my breath the
first time I watched it from laughing so hard. Every

(10:21):
time I've watched it since, it's equally as funny as
the first time. Who needs credit for the line the
meth absorbed into my boobskin I cry laughing every time
I hear it. With all of that being said, I
also had a thrifting experience just like this, and because
this is one of my favorite episodes I made, it
made it so much funnier. When I was pregnant with
my son, I had been thrifting for a dresser for

(10:44):
his nursery. I finally found went at my local thrift store,
and the owner wanted two hundred dollars. I was going
to pass for that price, but when the owner stepped away,
a girl employee told me she'd sell it to me
for one hundred dollars.

Speaker 2 (10:57):
Sold.

Speaker 1 (10:58):
We got it home and he started to clean it
outside before bringing it in the house. What do I
find in the bottom drawer? A baggie of blue crystal
blue rocks meth. I thought my mind was racing. Did
that girl from the thrift store set me up? Did
she knowingly sell me meth? My husband saw me freaking
out on the front lawn. He came over and smelled it.

(11:20):
It's bath salts, he said, Why was he so calm?
Of course it was bath salts. I'm familiar with code
names for drugs. He's like, you like actual bath salts, Hannah,
And that's how I got this photo, a pregnant me
holding fragrance bath salts moments after discovery was not actually meth. Phew, Hannah,

(11:43):
Oh my gosh, Hannah, that's an amazing story. It's basically
this episode. It's basically this entire episode. The fact that
you thought it was a baggie and then you automatically,
I'm telling you, we've all watched too many crime shows.
You automatically are like, it's a setup. She got rid
of this thing for a hundred bucks when she could probably,
if it was meth, probably sell it for more. But

(12:04):
it was so funny that they like dump the drugs
on you. You had to maate a hundred bucks for them.
And then now you're stuck, and what are you gonna do?
And then when your husband's like bath salts.

Speaker 2 (12:13):
Because people were going crazy on bath salts, so that
was like a thing. It was not good.

Speaker 1 (12:19):
So you were going like, no, I know, it's like
something terrible and bad, like got it. And your husband's
like no, like literally, this is like aromatherapy. We can
run you a bath and this would be good for
you and little babe, how funny, how totally insane.

Speaker 2 (12:33):
That would have stressed me out so deeply.

Speaker 1 (12:37):
And I'll be honest that my husband had been like,
it's just bath salts, it's no big deal.

Speaker 2 (12:41):
I would be like, how do you know I'm not
just gonna believe you whatever holding these drugs. I bet
you that woman. She was so quick to drop the
price by fifty percent. Something is going on. We love
a little, you know, a mystery. We love solving cases.

Speaker 1 (12:54):
Women.

Speaker 2 (12:54):
You can't just make it that easy. There's so many
suspicious things that have happened. Hannah. I love this also.

Speaker 1 (13:00):
It would be exactly what I would do. Hannahs are
aligned on this, the handahs are aligned, and this picture
of you is hysterical and very sweet. And now I
want to know all about your baby and what that
dresser ended up looking like. I've got so many follow
up questions. All right, everybody, that is our show. Please
go to our website, themester on pod dot com to

(13:21):
check out our latest merch You can follow us on
Instagram at the mess on Pod. If you have a
question you want to leave us a voicemail, email us
at the mess Around Pod at gmail dot com. We
so appreciate you, bobabes. That was the mess Around in
iHeartMedia Production.

Speaker 4 (13:39):
Our executive producer is Joel Monique.

Speaker 2 (13:42):
Our senior producer is Abu Zafar. Bei Wang provided engineering
and editing services.

Speaker 1 (13:47):
Additional production from Daniel Goodman, Wendy Heisler, and Kyle Shevron.
Our theme song was written and composed by Ronald Jukebox Jackson.

Speaker 2 (13:55):
Catch you next time. Bye,
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Lamorne Morris

Lamorne Morris

Hannah Simone

Hannah Simone

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