October 14, 2025 • 55 mins
Our Bachelor Nation OG Trista Sutter is catching up with season 10 Bachelorette Andi Dorfman Hart!
Andi reveals that she signed up for the show for the “right reasons”, and shares some of the secrets that hit the cutting room floor.
We hear her honest reaction to Taylor Frankie Paul joining the Bachelorette club, and she spills what really happened during her time with Juan Pablo, even before the infamous walk out.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is the Almost Famous podcast with iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Welcome back.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Hi. It's Trista at the Almost Famous OG's podcast. I'm
so excited about today. She's one of the favorite bachelorettes
of all time and also one of mine. She's pretty amazing.
She's a former assistant district attorney, a two time New
(00:26):
York Times best selling author, and she's now a proud
wife and mom to a beautiful baby girl. We met
her on jan Poplos season of The Bachelor, and then
she became our bachelorette. It's Andy Dorfman Hart and I'm
so excited to welcome her to the podcast. Okay, I
mean seriously, it really has been way too long. I
(00:48):
think the last time we saw each other in person
was the reunion.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Which they need more of.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
I totally totally agree, Like I have been pushing for
that for so long, to have like a just a
giant reunion of everyone.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
But yeah, I totally agree. It was so much fun.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
Because I haven't met like half the newer girls.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
I mean, right, and you know they're all on our
on our Betty group chat, but you know, like not
everyone responds to.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
Messages, you know, you see, it's also just like so
funny because like I've never met half these people, and
I'm like texting like wishing him the best of luck,
and I'm like, I'm actually genuine about it, but it
sounds so creepy because I've never met them. Totally, that's
so true.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Yes, and children are growing up. We're going to get
into all things Harper. But but first I want to
go back to and just you know, life in general.
I want to go back to The Bachelor, so where
it all began, because of course this is the OG
podcast and we like to, you know, go back to
all the memories. So with the Bachelor, how did you
(02:06):
go on the show? Were you nominated? Did you nominate yourself?
How did all of that go down?
Speaker 3 (02:11):
I was actually working. I was a DA at the time,
so I was working as a prosecutor for the government
and like obviously on government salary. And my girlfriend's like
there's a free like casting call with free wine and beer,
like you should go, and I was like, free drinks.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
I'm in.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
I literally went for the free drinks Trista, I'm not
even kidding. And it was like at this great bar
where I lived. So I was in like a skirt
suit and I pulled up and everybody was in like
bandage dresses, like super cute high heels, and I was like,
oh my god, I was in a suit.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
Literally, that is why you got cast, because you know,
they look for professional people.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
I know. I wouldn't have comment like that.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Yes, no, I don't.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
And the best part about is I didn't even get
free drinks because as soon as I got there, this
girl was like, oh, come with me, and we started
talking and then she like gave me a packet sent
me out the back door. And so the irony of
it all is like I literally didn't get the free drinks.
Damn it all.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
Well you got some later.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
I got a lot more later.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Yeah, the show was definitely not one to keep away
free drinks when when you're on the show.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
So yeah, you got some later.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Yeah, it's true like they wanted people to be drinking
a lot and then that all stopped. Okay, so when
you met Juan Pablo, what were your first thoughts.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
I knew it was going to be him because they
had already told us, and I hadn't like watched any
of the seasons really, but obviously back then I feel
like it was everywhere, so you knew what was going on.
And I just remember I was like, he's hot. He's
an athlete, he was very good looking. I didn't know
anything about him, but I was like, I'm gonna go.
I'm young, this is a trip. He's hot, Like why not?
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Yeah, totally right that.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
I mean, really good luck game, Yeah yeah, I mean
and the whole alf. I mean, I know you've got
a thing for athletes. We've talked about that before.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Yeah, par I do.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Okay, so when you know the show is going, we
all know the history, but when did you know that
he was not the one for you?
Speaker 3 (04:23):
I feel like, Okay, it's kind of weird to think
back to this, but I remember being like, oh, I
just need to see him meet my family. Oh I
just need to see like go on a one on
one date. And then like each time I kept doing that,
I was like, I just need to see a little
bit more, a little bit more. So it was in hindsight,
he was never the guy for me. But a I
was having like a lot of fun. I met good girls,
(04:44):
we had great dates. So there was just like something
kind of keeping me in it the whole time until
I think, like Towards the end, I was very homesick,
and I was like, all right, I'm done. It's not
for me, like there is no next thing to look for.
I had kind of you know, explorted, and then I
was just like, it's not for me. But there were just
little things that kept me going, which is weird in hindsight.
(05:07):
But yeah, do.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
You feel like you would have done the whole Oh
maybe I'll I just need one more thing. I just
need one more thing in real life?
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Probably no.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Yeah, I was gonna say, because because it's a television show,
you probably felt like, oh, well this is supposed to
work out, and maybe I'll just you know, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
Is that how you felt?
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (05:28):
And also you're just like in this blur like back then,
it wasn't about social media, it wasn't about necessarily the TV.
Like we were traveling to crazy cool places. You were
doing these like amazing dates. So I think you were
just in like vacation mode, and no one wants to
get out of vacation mode, you know.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
No, well, of course not.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
And did you have your job on hold, like where
you want to leave an absence?
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Yeah? I told them, may be back in like two weeks.
I was like, I'm gonna go do this. I thought
they would never let me do it, and it turned
out my boss was like, oh my god, you have
to do this. It's like so fun and you're young,
go do it. And I literally told them i'd be
back in a couple of weeks. And I remember it
was like eight or nine weeks later and I emailed
them and I was like, so.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Stoopsies.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Yeah, but they had been falling along on like the
blogs and stuff. I feel like everyone knew where we
were at that time, and we didn't realize like there
were all the like like the blogs that were kind
of snooping on it and spoiling it.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
So they like reality Steve, Yes, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
That's so big. It's huge when we were doing it.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
He is still he's still out there.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
I haven't talked to him forever, but I know that
he I think he has a podcast now, but yeah,
he's still he's still dialed in.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
I don't know who his contact was.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
Or is, but that's crazy that he's he got scoop.
I mean, he always got scoop or everyone knew.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
My mom knew I was the whole time based on him.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
That's hysterical.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Oh my gosh, yeah, I guess I let everything go
to the waist diet on your season. Okay, so how
soon after the Bachelor did they contact you to be
the Bachelorette.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
I don't remember. I remember I went back to work
for at least a couple months because people would like,
bring me a rose. It would be like funny, and
I'm like, okay, aired, So it was definitely airing, and
it probably I take that back. They told me at
Women Tell.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
All okay, yeah, they asked you on stage.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
No, not on stage, but they had asked me at
Women Tell, and I think I had signed the contract,
and back then there were rumors that like multiple people
signed contracts, so it still wasn't like solidified for me. Honestly,
it wasn't until the very first night that I was like,
all right, I'm actually the bacherette.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Well I think all of us feel that way.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Yeah. I feel like until you get there, or at
least you should, because I feel like, after being in
this business for almost twenty five years, like you never
believe until you are actually there. You know, like things
can fall through the cracks and it cannot happen, So
don't bank on it. So that's so true. But that's
(08:09):
interesting about the contract. So being a lawyer, you signed
the contract that night without looking over it.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
No, I we had like negotia something I don't remember.
I mean, this is like eleven pool Okay, but there
was a contract in like maybe I'd already seen it
and I signed it at Women tell I just remember
at Women Tell All, I felt like there was extra
protection on me, and I feel like you'd get that,
Like I didn't realize it at the time, but they
knew I was gonna be the bachelor, and I just
(08:38):
looking back, there were a lot of like softball questions.
It was definitely like, you know, they did my hair
and makeup and they weren't doing everyone's hair and makeup.
There were little things that I was like, Okay, this
is a different level of kind of protection here.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Totally. Yes, for sure.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
You can tell when you're in that position. Were you
excited about it, Like, how did you feel about it?
Speaker 2 (09:02):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Did you feel like it could happen that you would
meet someone?
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (09:06):
For sure. I mean I think I was just like
young enough, you know, I think I was what twenty seven,
twenty eight, and like it had historically worked out a
lot before me, you know, like there was a pretty
good track record on all of it. So for sure,
I was like, yeah, I'm going to do this. I thought,
one hundred percent I was going to find my husband.
I was like, this is going to be the way
I find it of all people, you know, like a
(09:28):
prosecutor is going to find love on reality TV. I like,
one hundred percent sure.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Yes, for sure, That's how I felt.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
And I don't know if you felt this way, but
I felt like the producers knew me at this point
and they were going to have a way better shot
of finding someone for me than I was just hanging
out in Miami. You know.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
Also, I felt like everyone was kind of on the
same page at least, you thought that everyone wanted to,
you know, get married and find love there. I felt
like that was my guys at least, I mean most
of them. I'd say probably ninety five percent of them,
like truly wanted like a relationship. So it was different
from just like dating and not knowing what someone wanted totally.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Yeah, you're so right. I love that.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
Okay, So can you can you believe that we're actually
going to be called the bachelorette for the rest of
our lives, Like, for the rest of our lives, you
are the bachelorette. Is that a label that you like
or that you eventually think that you're going to retire?
Speaker 3 (10:27):
No, I mean, here's the thing is, it is like
it is part of my life. And there have been
times where I've been like, oh gosh, like not embarrassed,
but when people come up to you sometimes I feel
like around friends or something like oh my god, I'm
like all right, you know. But all in all, like
it was the coolest experience of my life, and it
is something that really did change my life and in
(10:49):
a lot of ways has defined my life. And I've
kind of just accepted that. In the beginning, it was
harder to accept that. And now I look back at
like the crazy perks and the cool people I met,
and like, it really is a wild thing that we did.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Whow Like, I can't even.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
Imagine for you being the first, because it's wild for
me being like I think that was the tenth you.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Know, were you That's what I was gonna I was
going to ask that I don't know, I can I
always forget the order. I mean, please, It's like if
you have twenty twenty children, you can't remember their ages.
So so yes, no, I I think it is crazy,
and I'm actually really proud of it, you know. I
(11:32):
love I love being one of a very small group
of people who have all experienced this.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Very unique experience. And you know, it's all.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
It's different for all of us, all of our all
of our paths were different, but we all definitely know
what each other at the core, you know, went through
and experienced, and it is such a such a cool thing,
such a blessing. But because for me too, it obviously
changed my life and in incredible ways, my kids would
(12:07):
not be alive if if I have done it, And
I feel like you probably wouldn't have found your family
this way, you know.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
It all kind of works out in certain ways. I
wouldn't have been in New York, I wouldn't have been
in California. I wouldn't have met my husband all I
was in California. So yeah, it's just like I kind
of just learned that it's a cool part of my life.
And there are some things where I'm like, oh gosh,
I wish you know, that wasn't on national television. But
for the most part, like I do have an overall
really good feeling about it, especially as I've gotten older.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Yeah right, I mean maybe that's just because we're we're
wiser as we get oldern show.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Just a little more mature. Okay, do you still keep
up with the show?
Speaker 3 (12:52):
No?
Speaker 4 (12:53):
I mean honestly, like I never really kept up with
the show now, especially I right now, they're so I
can't and I like reality TV show, I'm just like
I'm more of like a real.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
Housewie or like, yes, I don't know, I just never
really kept up with the show. And especially after I
did it, there's no way. I tried to watch like
a couple episodes, and I was in such like producer
mode that I couldn't enjoy it.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
That's so interesting that you say that. When you say
producer mode, explain that to the people who are listening, So.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
You start to realize, like who gets good edits who's
like maybe last out of the limo. That was always
like a prime realistic They would say, you can tell,
you can just I don't know. Once you've done it,
you kind of know the ropes, so you can tell
what's manufactured, which very little was. That was probably the
(13:45):
number one question I used to get was how much
of it is scripted? And I would say none of
it back then, at least like none of it. But
there are situations that you get put into, you know,
And so I just noticed that as like someone who
has already done it, and I've oh, there's a season
he's last, or you know, that's the good edit. Right,
(14:06):
I need to just like turn my brain off to
enjoy it, and I just could not turn my brain
off once it was on.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
That makes so much sense. I haven't ever thought about
it like that, But you're so right. Was social media
a thing when you were on the show? You know?
Speaker 3 (14:22):
Not really? I remember we when I went on The Bachelor,
they made us go on private for Instagram and I
was like, okay, like twenty followers probably like back then
you literally called like people you knew are like your family.
Right then after got off it did it started to
get bigger and bigger, not in the same way that
like some people after me did. Like I feel like
(14:44):
chrys Soul's season was right after mine. He was the Bacheler,
and I feel like those girls like blew up with social.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Media, yes, Caitlin, yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
And like Ashley, I actually no, Lauramazon, Yeah, I just feel.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Like that Baca.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
Yes, yes, yep, yes, and kind of started to blow
up the social media.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Yeah, that's so true.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
I yeah, obviously I didn't have any social media to
deal with. Did you feel like you were when people
would reach out on social media after you were done
with the show, because I'm sure they did, even though
you were saying like I only had twenty followers. Do
you feel like everyone was positive or were there some
trolls in there being mean?
Speaker 3 (15:31):
Definitely not. Oh no, no, I feel like social media
is like, I don't know the place for people. They
just bed and be crazy. Like it was definitely crazy
at the time. We had a lot of blogs at
the time, like I remember, I don't know if it
was like Reddit or like some other like the forums
and stuff. Those were where you really had to stay off.
(15:53):
People were still very much in the forums.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
Got it less.
Speaker 3 (15:58):
I feel like in like direct messaging and stuff.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Yeah, totally, yes, true.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
Twitter was actually, oh my god, it's all coming back
to me it is.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Oh yes, the mommy brain has been blocking it. Yes,
the live tweeting, I do remember doing that and obviously
being a huge fan of yours.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
Yeah, people were positive, very negative.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
Yes, yeah, I do remember, well this was on her season,
but Caitlin got like death threats, and you know, people
were really mean and I think.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
They still are. Yeah, uh huh for sure, maybe even
more so.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
So.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Do you watch The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives since
you're a housewife fan?
Speaker 3 (16:51):
We watched the first season, and I will say I
didn't watch the second season because towards the end of
the first they were like I felt like they were
so mean to each other. The girl. Oh yeah, I
don't know if you got that vibe, but it was like.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
I didn't watch.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
I feel like I need to watch before Bachelorette.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
But I like the girl that's the bacherette. Though she's
the star of the show. For sure, she's gonna be
great like she was. Definitely she wasn't one of the
mean girls, but there were a lot of It was
just kind of like Caddy, I was like, I don't
want to I don't feel like watching this.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
It's not my Yeah yeah, yeah, it's bringing me down.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
What advice do you have for Taylor?
Speaker 3 (17:36):
Oh boy? I mean I always say to try and
enjoy it as much as you can. It does go
so fast. And I know that's cliche everyone says that,
but it really does, and you start to overthink every
little thing instead of just trying to have fun and
enjoy it.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Right, Yes, you're so right. I feel like that's just
great life advice too.
Speaker 3 (17:55):
And also trying not to worry about what other people think,
which is way easier said than done. But that's also life. Like,
people are going to have opinions. Whether you are say
everything perfectly and make you know, every good intention possible,
somebody's going to have a bad thought or about it,
you know, judgment about it, and you just you cannot
live for those people.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
True story.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
How do you deal with those kind of people these days?
Because I'm sure you don't get a lot of that now.
I feel like it's probably similar to me. Yeah, but
there are people who like this homecoming.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
You know.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
I just posted about Blakesley and Max going to homecoming,
and of course the the people come out of the woodwork.
Like one lady was like, that would be an immediate
no for my daughter to wear that short of a dress,
And I'm like, do you understand that in the world
that we live in today, you.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Can't find a long dress like period?
Speaker 1 (18:52):
Yeah, and and like, you never wore a short skirt
like when I was growing up, they were tight and
short and at least she had a yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
Exactly invented the bandage dresses, lady.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
So anyway, I feel like there is negativity out there?
Speaker 2 (19:09):
How do you deal with that?
Speaker 3 (19:10):
Yeah, I think in the mommy world. I've learned in
the mom world, there are like what moms will say
to you is like mind blowing to me, as fellow moms, like,
I'm just I've never been the type of person that
would say anything to anyone anyways like that, So we're
already kind of I'm already a little shocked. But then
what moms will say to other moms is mind blowing
(19:31):
to me. And honestly, like I have not figured out
how to not care if I'm being totally honest, like
there's no way I can tell you that, Like comments
don't bother me. Some of them are so ridiculous, And
I will at times like scroll back and look, and
I'm like, this person's just off their rocker, like they've
just been ridiculous when the start, And sometimes that makes
me feel better, And a lot of times I just
(19:53):
have to completely try and ignore it. And try and
just like read the positives. But I haven't figured out
how to completely not be bothered by the negative comments.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
I mean, thank you for the honesty, because I agree.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
I don't know, yeah, same same, I'm sensitive and if
someone says something nasty, it's hard to not take that
personally because even though they don't know you, it still hurts.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
Yeah, no one wants to hear negative stuff, like, no
one wants to read that about themselves, whether it's right
or wrong.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Right, and especially about something that you care so deeply about,
like being a mom, and for them to come at
you for something that they think you're doing wrong when
you're just trying to do your best. That's all all
of us are trying to do is do our best.
I know.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
I do think most negative comments are coming from like
a place of unhappiness or you know, jealousy is a
weird word to use, but jealousy or just people that
are unhappy. And so sometimes I do try and just
like take a breath and be like, all right, they're
going through something that has nothing to do with me.
And so instead of trying to persually answer, just like
this is you know, their outlet, just try and brush
(21:04):
it off. Yeah, it's not easy.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
Yeah, I try to ignore and then block. I love
the block button. I like, Hi, I'm just like bye
bye see yeah, peace out.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
I love a delete comment to delete and they're like, oh,
you're deleting comments. Yeah, it's my wall. Of course, I'm
deleting comments. What do you mean I should leave it
up there to go back and reread the negative comment?
Iverythink I should use that up.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
Yeah, I know this is my page. So I'm going
to handle my page how I want to handle my page.
So if you have a problem, bye bye, see you later.
Speaker 3 (21:37):
Yeah, delete and bok I love them.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
Yeah same.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
Okay, So Nick Vile was your runner up. Have you
followed his post show success, his pod or anything.
Speaker 3 (21:48):
Yeah? Yeah, I mean like obviously killing it with the podcast.
I've run into him a little bit in LA, like
with his wife. But yeah, I mean I follow from
like Afar.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Yeah yeah, and you guys don't stay in ta.
Speaker 3 (22:02):
Yeah it's awesome.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
Actually, wait, he's hosting a new Netflix dating show. What
have you heard about this?
Speaker 3 (22:09):
No?
Speaker 2 (22:11):
I haven't either, Okay, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
A new depth Netflix dating show coming out next year.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
Whole boy. That's that's exciting.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
I know, right, I feel like I love to cheer
for the people from the show because we are this
like crazy dysfunctional family and you know, even if we
don't like agree on things or whatever.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
Also the hard work, like respect, the hard work. You know,
he hasn't gotten there without.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Them, totally.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
You are so right, but like respect the hard work.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Period. Agreed.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Okay, it's called Age of Attraction and it's with his
wife Natalie. Set to a premiere in twenty twenty six.
Okay to my producer Jackie. Yeah, that's I mean, there's
so many dating shows out now, it like Caitlin and Colton, and.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Then of course like all the Love Is Blinds and
I'm watching that right now. Actually, are you Blakesley's obsessed?
She was obsessed.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
I haven't watched that either, but yeah, maybe I need
to add it to my list.
Speaker 3 (23:19):
It's pretty good.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
They are doing a Denver version.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
I think that's now.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
Actually it is is it Love is Blind or Love Island?
Speaker 2 (23:29):
Which which is the Love is Blind?
Speaker 3 (23:30):
Would be Denver. Love Island is like always in Fiji.
That's a great show too. That's a mess.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
It's a mess.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
It's so funny though. That's the one shoe, harperd can't
go on that's the one.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
Ah, So you're saying that you would allow her to
go on Bachelorette.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
Pretty much anything but Love Island. I mean I love
Love Island, but like there's not a lot of clothing
more in there at all, Like you don't you go
into it, you know you don't, Like, yeah, it's not
the same.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
You're gonna have a hard time with homecoming dresses.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
I'm like, not that cool. No, this is like string
bikinis and like they make out with everybody, Like, yeah,
very free, good for them, no judgment. But I could
not handle it. I can't.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Yeah, as a mom, that would be hard to watch. Yeah, yeah,
we're not there yet. Okay, So you fell in love
on the show and then you settled back into reality
with Josh Murray and ended your engagement. I'm sure you haven't,
(24:33):
but I have to ask have you talked to him?
Speaker 3 (24:36):
No? No, I'm pretty much like once it's done, it's done,
especially like a dumpster fire, like I'm good, leave it
to Birn you know, but also like yeah, for the
most part, when I'm done, I'm done. Just in general.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
Well, yeah, and you were looking for more out of life,
like you wanted to find your man, and thank god
if you if you had like not been done, then
maybe you wouldn't have found him because would have been
still caught up in the whole Josh thing.
Speaker 3 (25:02):
So yeah, so long ago, and like when people bring
it up, I'm like, gosh, I almost like not forget.
But I've had so much like more you know, personal,
longer intense relationships since then that like most people don't
know about because I always kind of kept it private.
But I've had such more like significant relationships since then
that I kind of like forget, Like, oh yeah, I
(25:22):
was engaged, Like it doesn't feel that way. It feels
just like so long ago, like that I was basically
dating in high school. Like that's how it feels like.
It feels like a high school boyfriend.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
Yeah, like another lifetime.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
Yeah completely, yeah, I know, I totally totally understand that.
Do you feel like you were accurately portrayed on the show?
Speaker 3 (25:43):
Yeah, I mean I always felt back then that, like
I just didn't think they portrayed everyone as well rounded
as we were because by the way the elite, especially
as a female, like we were certain types of people
like that was not easy to carry a show like that,
and I know there was product, but like every single
one of us had a lot going on for ourselves
(26:04):
and was able to carry ourselves and carry twenty five
minute a time, quite frankly, and so I just kind
of always felt like they never like showed the full
picture of us, especially as the women leads.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Mm hmmm, that's so interesting.
Speaker 3 (26:17):
You're right, well what they showed, I said, and did
you know that part? I was never bothered by that
kind of stuff. I just always felt like they were
kind of missing a lot or like they could have,
you know, shah more about us.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
I feel like that's something that people don't understand is
so much ends up on the cutting room floor and
it's all about the storyline that they want to portray
that you know, whatever ends up on the show is
has to be in the show for the storyline to
play out. You know. Yeah, that's that's interesting. Okay, So
flash forward to we started the group chat and I
(26:53):
don't remember when we even started it was it like,
was it before COVID because we did that whole video.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
Yeah, you'll do that.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
I know we need to do another one, although it
would take like twenty minutes to watch it.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
We did do that during COVID. Oh my gosh, I
think that's my first real ever. By the way, I.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
Think it might have been mine too. I think you're right.
That's so cute.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
I want to go back to my Instagram and see.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
I love it. Okay, so we're in this group chat.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
Yeah, and obviously there's you know, at least one person
who has left, and we haven't added Taylor Frankie Paul
to it yet, but she.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
Will be joining. We just have to have someone get
her number.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
So what if we sent a text literally right now
to the chat, what would your bet be like? We'll
say it when I count down one, two, three, Who
would be the first person to respond?
Speaker 3 (27:57):
Oh wait, you have you already have an idea?
Speaker 1 (28:00):
Oh well yeah, because it's obvious, but you'll come up
with it and just in thinking about it for a second,
because she's always super supportive, and.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Yeah, you'll you'll just think, okay, do do do do
do I'm about to.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
Love Okay, Well then I'll I'll just tell you I
would bet that Deanna would write back.
Speaker 3 (28:25):
I was gonna say, Dianna is one I feel like
Caaitlyn writes back a lot.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
Yeah, Dianna is just so supportive and sweet, and I
feel like, you know, she's kind of like me. I
try to respond quickly to text because if I don't,
then I forget. Yeah, So that's why I'm so on
top of text messages or try to be you know.
I'm like, if I don't, then I'm gonna I'm just
(28:52):
gonna forget.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
I want to look back in it.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
Yeah, right, let's see what the last. So I was
talking and my producer about that. She's like, do you
guys still have the chat? And I said, for sure,
we do, but it's mostly just like congratulations.
Speaker 3 (29:11):
Yeah. Yeah. So last is Jojo pregnant?
Speaker 1 (29:14):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (29:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
So I was like, it's all about like marriages and
babies and and then unfortunate you know, like when Katie
Thurston was diagnosed, and like, you know that kind of
stuff like reaching out to just like send our love.
But yeah, I feel like it's just kind of like
lifting each other up and cheering for each other when
we have good stuff going on.
Speaker 3 (29:35):
Yeah, I love it, Milestone, Yeah, I love to do.
It also kind of keeps me connected because I feel
like we all have such different lines and live in
different places, and the further out from the show, the
less involved I tend to be. So it's nice to
still like have that part for me.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
Yeah, no, I please. I'm fifty three in a couple
of weeks, so I am definitely not.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
In the same like life space as most of it
most of the people. Yeah, okay, so you find Blaine,
you get married, You're talking about babies and wait, did
(30:20):
you you decided to freeze your eggs? Was this before
you met Blaine or way before?
Speaker 3 (30:26):
Actually, Caitlin Bursco and I did it together because we
did it with Whitney fish Off in Chicago. So I
was twenty nine, okay, and I did it and I
was very single at the time, so.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
I had a good idea.
Speaker 3 (30:39):
Yeah, I did it twenty nine and completely single, like
no attachments to anything with anyone.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
So why did you make that decision? I don't know.
Speaker 3 (30:48):
I think like Whitney and I had talked about it
and she was like, honestly, it's the best thing I
ever did. And I feel like I was just at
a time in my life where I'm like, I don't
know what's going to happen. I don't know, Like I
was living in New York, which you know is not
super conducive to like getting married younger, and I just
did it. I was like, I'm just gonna do this
for me.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
I don't know, yeah, I think it's so just the
fact that there's technology out there that that you can
freeze your eggs is so amazing.
Speaker 3 (31:18):
I didn't really like, I really didn't overthink it much.
I just was like, yep, I'm going to do it.
And then, you know, eight weeks later, basically I had
done it and it was done, and I don't really
think about it anymore, you know, until I need to.
But I think subconsciously it definitely stuck with me for
a while. I think that's why I waited so long,
you know, to a find someone but also beat up kids.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
What do you mean? What do you mean? You feel
like it.
Speaker 3 (31:41):
The pressure was off of me a lot because I
had those eggs, and I feel like I didn't think
about it all the time, But subconsciously, I do feel
like that pressure had been relieved and so I wasn't
out there necessarily dating just to like have kids or no.
Felt that like clock. I never felt the biological clock ever.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
You know, that's so interesting because I feel like that
happens with you. Hear all the time about people who
have problems getting pregnant and then they adopt, and then
they get pregnant naturally because you know, the stress isn't
there anymore, and stress just works, you know, bad vibes
on your system.
Speaker 3 (32:19):
And even still, like I had Harper at thirty seven
years old, you know, like, but I still didn't feel
that pressure and I still don't now because I'm like, okay,
well you know, I have these eggs like to use.
At some point in.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
Fact, did you and you had Harper naturally? Did you? Guys?
Speaker 1 (32:39):
Were you planning on were you working towards having a baby,
like you were actively trying? Yeah, we were, Okay, okay,
you were and it happened naturally. Was it like a
long process for you?
Speaker 3 (32:51):
I mean it.
Speaker 5 (32:52):
Was about I feel like we started trying like maybe
let's say September and happened April, So it wasn't super long,
but it wasn't like you know, honeymoon.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
Well yeah, I mean, gosh, it took me two years.
So yeah, it's not it's work.
Speaker 3 (33:16):
It really is. It's a whole roller coast of emotions.
It's like it's its own podcast, Like, the emotions of
trying to conceive is crazy.
Speaker 1 (33:24):
What kind of advice would you give to people out
there listening who who are thinking about freezing their eggs?
Speaker 3 (33:32):
Oh, I'd say just do it, don't overthink it. It
was literally like, you know, four to eight weeks of
your life. And I will say, as long as cost
isn't associated with it, which that is a huge burden
with the cost. So I understand like if you need
to think about it from that perspective, but if cost
isn't an issue, it's a no brainer.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
Okay, love that.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
And Whitney actually I think she was still doing it. Yeah,
I think she just left.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
But yeah, she's in Chicago recently.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
You did, I was in Mexico with her.
Speaker 3 (34:02):
Yeah. I was like, tell me the facts of like,
you know, I'm not there yet, but I would love
to just know like what this looks like at some
point because I am getting older. So yeah, I just
I've talked to her recently about it. It's cool.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
So you're okay, so are you considering using one of
those eggs?
Speaker 2 (34:20):
Are you guys talking about it?
Speaker 3 (34:22):
We're I think we're just now going to start like
trying a little we needed to get through a little
bit with Harper, But now it's kind of a good time.
So we'll see, like how long it takes, you know,
I don't I don't know. We'll see if it's starting
to take a long time. Like again, I have that
there so.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
Yes, yes, and you still have eggs yeah on ice?
Speaker 2 (34:42):
Yes, Oh that's on ice. That's so funny to say.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
So how long does the process take if you like
happen to take one of your eggs off off ice?
Speaker 2 (34:54):
How long does that process take? Do they just implant?
Speaker 1 (34:57):
Like?
Speaker 2 (34:57):
How what is that process?
Speaker 1 (34:59):
Like?
Speaker 3 (34:59):
I mean they well, minds and eggs are not an embryos,
it's not fertilized, so they thought they inseminate it. Then
they would do like genetic testing for it, and then
I think they put it in you, you know, based
on an ovulation schedule. I don't know completely, but that's
the gist of it.
Speaker 1 (35:14):
Okay, Yeah that makes sense. Yeah, I mean that's so cool.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
I love that you have. Science is so cool speaking science.
Speaker 1 (35:24):
I was just thinking was something that I wanted to
do in my career. Do you ever think about law, Like,
have you ever thought that you miss law and that
you would go back to it.
Speaker 3 (35:38):
Yeah, I'm actually I'm doing guardian at item right now,
so like I am, it's called guardian itt Item. So
it's like part of KASA, like Court Appointed Special Advocates,
So I represent like kids in foster care that are
going through court proceedings for like placements. So there is
a little legality to that. But I will say, like,
(35:58):
you sit in court for a very long time, and
that definitely makes me not missed being a lawyer. You're like,
all right, it's a lot of hours, it's a lot
of time. So this has been a nice way for
me to kind of dip my feedback into it without
fully like being a lawyer because I've got a lot
of other things i want to do.
Speaker 2 (36:16):
Yeah, right, and parenting is hard.
Speaker 3 (36:19):
Yeah, you can't know.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
I can't imagine, no, unless you did like consulting work
or something. But do you have to go back to
get your your license or whatever.
Speaker 3 (36:34):
Yeah, so it depends on your state. So I'm licensed
in Georgia. Like, I keep it in active status so
I'll always have that. I pay, like, you know, my
hundred dollars a year because I don't care. I'm always
going to keep that. I earned it. But like I
have to would have to take the bar in South
Carolina to go into court and practice. There's little loopholes
like general counsel, which is kind of boring blah blah blah,
but for the most part, Yeah, I would have to
(36:55):
retake the bar.
Speaker 2 (36:56):
Okay, got it. Yeah, that's for physical therapy for me.
Speaker 1 (36:59):
I just mine.
Speaker 3 (37:00):
I'm good.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
I didn't pay mine.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
I was like, okay, I'm done. I don't think I'm
going back, and I don't remember anything that I learned
to anyway.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
So there's that. Okay.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
So something you've opened up a lot about is pregnancy
and how much there's there's so much information about pregnancy,
but not really about postpartum.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
How was your postpartum experience?
Speaker 3 (37:22):
I mean dark, really, Plaine and I laugh now because
like the first four or five months of postpartum are
like it's just dark. You're just like in a hole,
you know, physically, mentally, emotionally, all of it. And yeah,
I mean it's you know, it's hard to explain.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
It's hard.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
Yeah, I feel like you're right, like they they need
to focus on that because.
Speaker 2 (37:53):
Women need support in that.
Speaker 3 (37:55):
I mean, it's crazy also from a science perspective to
think about like you created a human being and not
like yeah just because of the man, like your hormones
created a human being. And so for all of that
to just like release from your body, like that's not
a normal process, you know, like the build up of that,
you know, just like you know, just like, oh my
babies out, I'm back to normal. It's not how it right.
(38:17):
Sometimes Instagram will fool you into thinking that is how
it works.
Speaker 2 (38:20):
Oh completely.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
I mean I didn't have really postpartum depression to speak of.
I was pretty lucky in that, but it is really
hard to like, you know, you you you mourn your
your body and you do have all this huge hormone fluctuation.
I mean, please, when you get to menopause, we'll talk again,
(38:43):
because oh my gosh, the menopause hormones are no.
Speaker 3 (38:50):
Joke, right, and something's going on inside, Like it makes
sense in a certain way. I think for me, I
also wasn't like depressed, but I had a tough time
physically because I was so fit and I've always been
very fit, and I kind of stayed exercising. I mean
I played tennis like the da Harper was born. Like
the day I went to the hospital and I didn't
bounce back like I thought I would, and like I
(39:12):
see online a lot, obviously I'm older, but still like, yeah,
my body just didn't bounce back the way I thought
it would. So physically it was tough for me. But
I had a good friend that was like, listen, everyone
goes through postpartum in some capacity, whether it's physically, whether
it's mentally, whether it's you know, their child, emotionally, whatever,
it's like. You don't always see it, but everyone experiences
(39:34):
some version of postpartum, so mine was definitely like physical.
Speaker 1 (39:37):
I would say, oh, that makes total sense. You were
so fit, but you are?
Speaker 2 (39:41):
You look amazing.
Speaker 3 (39:43):
I mean I've been you know, it's been. It's been work,
more work than I thought it was going to be.
Speaker 2 (39:49):
Yeah, and you gained how much weight with it?
Speaker 3 (39:52):
I gained like fifty pounds, but I lost like fifteen
out of the hospital, you know, like a lot of
water weight. And then I just like sat at like
in the one sixties for months. No matter what I did,
I just like was not moving.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
Do you think it was hormonal?
Speaker 3 (40:07):
You know, yeah, a little bit. I had like my
lippid panels and everything, you know, tested I think it's
a little I also just think your body just does
what it does sometimes, like we all try to analyze it,
and it's like whether it's metabolism, whether it's water weight,
like I don't know. My body just was doing what it
was doing.
Speaker 1 (40:23):
So you feel like you're back on track, You're good.
Speaker 3 (40:25):
Yeah, yeah, getting there, you know, probably get to my
goal weight and get pregnant again. But that's crazy how
it works.
Speaker 1 (40:34):
Like just wait, I mean right, I actually are you nursing?
Speaker 3 (40:41):
No, I didn't nurse at all?
Speaker 1 (40:42):
Okay, no, because I once I stopped nursing, like I
feel like probably that day I got pregnant really with
Blake's Lake. Yeah, it happened like clockwork, like the.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
Second that I stopped.
Speaker 1 (40:54):
So but but obviously if you're not nursing, if you
haven't been nursing, then it wouldn't change anything. Nursing wasn't
for me, No, and it's not for everybody, and you don't.
You do not need to even preface that, you know
what I mean, Like it is, it is what it is.
Some people love it. I loved it. Some people it
doesn't work for them, and that's okay.
Speaker 2 (41:14):
Thank god. We have like options that you can use
you know, yeah, I was.
Speaker 3 (41:19):
Actually seeing it. I was surprised that I didn't get
more heat from that because I was pretty open from
the start about not nursing.
Speaker 2 (41:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:25):
No one said, okay, good, I'm glad they didn't because
they shouldn't. Writ it's a personal decision. Yeah, yeah, it's true,
because you're right the whole all of the moms have
are very opinionated about how to be the right kind
of mom.
Speaker 3 (41:43):
Yep. Yeah, yeah. Surprising though, no one everyone's like, good
for you. I was like, very cool. I was a
little nervous about that.
Speaker 2 (41:49):
But yeah, no, you do you, you do you?
Speaker 1 (41:53):
Okay, So let's talk about Harper. How is she?
Speaker 2 (41:58):
She is so a door?
Speaker 1 (42:00):
Well, your videos, your stories every time when you're showing
her in her crib. The one thing I crack out
crack up about is all of her binkies all over it.
Speaker 3 (42:10):
Yes, I taught us not because she would like wake
up in them all the night and like not be
able to find her pacifier. And I'd be like we
Blaine and I would really sit and look at the monitor.
We're like, girl, it's right above your head, like the
right to the right about it, Like one o'clock. You
can do this, And so I saw something put like
two in one time. We're like, wait, we should just
put three. And now like we just throw a handful
(42:32):
of binkies in there, like she finds them eventually, Like
it's so funny.
Speaker 1 (42:38):
I love it, And you know what, those binkies are
the best. That's what my kids used from the hospital.
I feel like they gave them to us at the hospital,
and then I just kept buying them.
Speaker 3 (42:48):
Yes, I just bought from the hospital, Like I bought
all these like fancy swaddles and all these like things.
I end up using everything that the hospital had, all
those I re ordered those swattles, all the pacifiers, the bottles,
Like it's so funny.
Speaker 2 (43:02):
That is so funny.
Speaker 1 (43:03):
I didn't even think about the fact that you could
probably reorder those like white towels with like the blue
and the pink stripe.
Speaker 2 (43:10):
You know, I still have them. That is hysterical because
I still use them. I love them. I mean obviously
not for swaddling.
Speaker 3 (43:19):
You would have a field day going on Amazon with
the baby stuff because everything you probably had that was
like the highest rated is still the Grey Go, the
Skip Pop, all that stuff, the og stuff is still
number one.
Speaker 1 (43:31):
I love it, yeah, because I do feel like I
have a little bit of fomo, like mommy fomo because
I swear all of the gear and all of the
clothes and I'm like, oh my gosh, I wish that
had been around when I.
Speaker 2 (43:45):
Was a mom. Is just so cute now.
Speaker 1 (43:48):
But yes, it flashes me back seeing her passes in
her crib, like I'm like.
Speaker 2 (43:53):
Oh, that makes me think of my babies. Okay, so
tell me about her personality. Let me see it.
Speaker 3 (44:01):
She is gonna be child, but she's tough, like she's
super tough. We were like at the park the other
day and someone like threw a ball in her face
and I was like, oh my, and she just laughed hysterically.
She just laughs. She hit her head the other day
on the door, just laughs when I were like, she's yeah,
but she's great. She's so smiling. I don't have anything
(44:23):
to base it off of, obviously, but like she's so happy.
She smiles at everyone, like in the grocery store. She
is a screamer though she's very She's a high pitch
like I've never heard, and she can definitely use her voice,
that's for sure. But I think she's gonna be sweet.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
Oh, she looks so sweet. She's gonna be so sweet.
She gave you for Mama. I used to say that
about Blakesley, that she was an extremist, like she was
either really happy or really mad or really sad.
Speaker 3 (44:52):
You know how'd that pan out?
Speaker 1 (44:54):
Now?
Speaker 3 (44:54):
Same?
Speaker 2 (44:55):
Oh that's interesting.
Speaker 1 (44:58):
Yeah, yeah, I mean we're going through the teenage years andy,
so oh yeah, it's real fun.
Speaker 3 (45:07):
Not a good comparison right now.
Speaker 1 (45:11):
I mean, obviously, yeah, I can tell you about four
years ago. No, she she's they're both amazing. They're they're
living their best lives and doing great. But yeah, hormones
for teenagers. Okay, Halloween is coming up. Are you guys
(45:39):
doing a family a family costume or are you just
dressing up Harper?
Speaker 3 (45:44):
Yeah we are. Yeah, we're gonna dress her up. I
mean she's going to be asleep. Honestly, I'm actually not
going to be here for Halloween because I have a
girls trip that got fast year. Yeah, and I'm like
I'm a terrible mom. But also like she's going to
be a sleep by seven, Like we're going to the
lights out. I was like, Lane, do I go? He's
like you go, Yes, you you go. So we have
(46:07):
like a couple of Halloween parties before, so we're going
to celebrate a week early. She's never going to know.
And I'm still trying to side on costumes though, because
they're all so cute that I'm like, I can't.
Speaker 1 (46:17):
Decide, right, so cute, but you don't do a family costume.
You just are I think we might have to. I
mean you kind of have to, right, Yeah, I wanted to.
Speaker 3 (46:28):
Be a rubber ducky and I do. I did find
an outfit. So because she's obsessed with rubber duckies in
the bath, like she wants to sleep with rubber duckies, Like,
you can't sound safe, and so I think we're going
to be like three rubber duckies.
Speaker 2 (46:42):
But I can't. I need to see that.
Speaker 1 (46:45):
Send me a picture if you found the costume before
before you leave on your girls trip. If I make
you feel any better. I missed Max's eighteenth birthday for
the birthday trip with Caitlin that I went on. I mean,
you just have to every so often, you have to
actually prioritize yourself.
Speaker 3 (47:05):
I agree with that, and you know what, there's a
lot of things to be in attendance for You're going
to miss a couple of things exactly.
Speaker 1 (47:12):
I try to be there for everything else, but this
just happened to fall on that, and I'm like, you
know what what would be doing anyway? We would be
blowing out candle, we'd be going out to dinner, you'd
be opening your presence. I can watch that on FaceTime
and see all the pictures afterwards. So yeah, he knows
I'd love him. Okay, So books, you haven't come out
(47:34):
with a book in a while. Are you thinking about
writing another?
Speaker 3 (47:38):
I feel like I want to. I will say this
is for a period of time, I was like, I
don't really have an ending, and now I do have
an idea of what I want to do. Now I
just need to find the time to do it. But
I feel like I really like experienced my thirties in
a lot of different ways, and I think I kind
of needed to come to a stopping point at that
in order to like make a little sense of it.
(48:01):
So now I do feel ready to write a book,
and now I just have to find time.
Speaker 1 (48:05):
Yeah right, I mean it's hard to find the time. Gosh,
it takes a long time. I do.
Speaker 3 (48:09):
I just do a ghostwriter for once, but I don't
want to do the ghost writer because I've already done
two on my own. But from a time since, so we'll.
Speaker 1 (48:17):
See, yes, yes, yes, well regardless, I'm sure it will
be super popular if you decide to write one. I
would love to read it. Okay, do you think your
time on reality TV is done? Would you be open
to doing anything else?
Speaker 3 (48:32):
I mean, I never say never, but I feel like,
you know the inner workings of reality TV, Like it's
not easy, it's not there's a lot of bureau there's
a lot of like time on the back end of like,
there's a lot a lot goes into it. Yeah, right now,
I'm like, I can't see myself doing a reality show.
I would do a competition show though, for sure.
Speaker 2 (48:55):
Yes, Like which one.
Speaker 3 (48:57):
I would love to do, like Traders or Special Forces.
I don't know if I would be good at Traders, though.
Speaker 1 (49:05):
I have said the same thing because I would love
to do Traders, but and I was recently asked would
I be a trader? And I'm like, no, I am
a horrible liar. Everyone could tell that I would be
a trader, Like I'm not an actress, So I feel
like I would just want to be a faithful That
show would be so much fun.
Speaker 3 (49:24):
I know, but it's so gamesmanship that I'm like, do
I have the brain capacity for that?
Speaker 2 (49:28):
Right? Right?
Speaker 1 (49:31):
I can say that Special Forces having been on it
last season, like you could, you would definitely crush it.
I feel like, once you set your mind to something,
you know, and so much of it is mindset. So
I know some people, if you want me to put
in a good word, I would.
Speaker 3 (49:49):
Do I think I would do it. I'm alone to
me by the physical aspect of it, But I feel
like it'd be a good win as a mom, you know.
I feel like as moms used to need a win
sometimes sometimes, like did you just something?
Speaker 2 (50:03):
That's a great way to put it.
Speaker 1 (50:05):
When they asked me why, Like what my why was?
It was that my kids are leaving soon and I've
dedicated my life to them and their lives and our family,
and I just wanted to kind of find out more
about myself. But the win, that's a great way to
describe it.
Speaker 3 (50:23):
I like that because you probably lose yourself. I can
already imagine, like you lose yourself in motherhood, like it's
a natural thing to do, Like it's just a maternal
thing that like I sacrifice whatever for Harvard's subconsciously, do
you know. I don't know if that's a male version
as well, but I know at least from a female version,
even in this short of time, it's like, yeah.
Speaker 1 (50:45):
I don't think for men for some reason, and I
don't know if it's like biological, but I feel like
I feel like it's it's more for women.
Speaker 2 (50:54):
We do we.
Speaker 1 (50:56):
I think we just integrate their lives into ours and
it just becomes who we are. At least that's definitely
my experience. So thinking about them leaving is heartbreaking to me,
but you know, also that's what you do. You prepare
them for life and let them fly, so hopefully it
(51:17):
will be.
Speaker 3 (51:18):
A good It's like fun times ahead too as more
being like an adult in like college and stuff and
like coming home to my parents and I had such
a different relationship and in like in a cool way.
Speaker 1 (51:27):
Yeah, and you guys are so close, so yeah, I love,
I love.
Speaker 2 (51:32):
I love thinking about that. Thank you. That makes me happy.
Do you live close to your parents? I do.
Speaker 3 (51:39):
My parents are in Atlanta, so we're like two and a.
Speaker 1 (51:42):
Half hours okay, and you're in your can I say this,
you're in Greenville. You've said that before. Yeah, So have
you gotten together? Have you seen Holly Julia?
Speaker 2 (51:52):
I don't know her.
Speaker 3 (51:53):
I've had a few.
Speaker 1 (51:55):
Yeah, Andy, you guys need to get where she on.
She was on well, she was on Bachelor Pad. She
won Bachelor Pad with Michael. Yes, and gosh, I cannot remember.
Speaker 2 (52:09):
Which who she was, which bachelor.
Speaker 1 (52:12):
She was, But I mean she's she's pretty og. She's
around your same time.
Speaker 3 (52:17):
I know exactly what you're talking about. I know I've
had several people say something to me and I'm like,
I've never met her.
Speaker 1 (52:23):
Oh gosh, you guys, I need to connect to it
because I feel like you guys would love each other.
And she has two littles. They're a little bit older
than Harper, but still she's you know, in the mommy
or the early mommy stages. She just is so much
fun and just started a mage On company. Like I
don't know if you play Majong, but you should because
(52:45):
it's really fun.
Speaker 3 (52:48):
Yeah, send me up with her. I've heard I've heard
my God several times.
Speaker 1 (52:52):
Yes, I love her and I love you, and I
feel like you guys would get.
Speaker 2 (52:56):
Along really well. Okay, girl.
Speaker 1 (52:58):
So when are we going to plan a trip with
all the all the Betties, all the bachelorettes?
Speaker 5 (53:03):
Right?
Speaker 1 (53:04):
I want to so bad. I feel like I say
it all the time.
Speaker 3 (53:07):
Adc to do it, so it's like on their dime.
Speaker 1 (53:10):
I mean right, Oh my gosh, I'm gonna write Milsy today.
Speaker 3 (53:14):
I don't even know who's in charge anymore because it's
been so long and I feel like everyone's come and
gone and like I can't keep up with who's still there.
Speaker 2 (53:23):
Yes, I know.
Speaker 1 (53:25):
I think Milsey is probably one of the only people
that I know, which is.
Speaker 2 (53:33):
Why are you No he wasn't.
Speaker 1 (53:39):
Yeah, no, he didn't start until later. But you know,
obviously just through the years, sure connected with him.
Speaker 2 (53:47):
You need a reunion, Yes, it would be.
Speaker 1 (53:51):
It would be so fun. I had so much fun
reunited with everybody. Yeah, just put it on air because
you know everyone loves us.
Speaker 2 (53:58):
Just get it fun.
Speaker 3 (53:59):
Everybody you've been like the wedding Jaden Tanner's wedding member,
like we didn't know them very well, but it was
so fun, the best time, the best time.
Speaker 1 (54:08):
I remember getting our hair and makeup done together and.
Speaker 3 (54:12):
Yes I miss that stuff.
Speaker 1 (54:14):
I do too, you know, and part of me if
we did a reunion would be like I would love
to just have us, but at the same time, like
I want to meet everyone's children and just love on
all the babies. Oh and girl, I'm we're looking at
colleges in South Carolina.
Speaker 2 (54:33):
So if we do.
Speaker 3 (54:33):
Come, you text me on the side. I want to know.
Speaker 1 (54:36):
Yes, it's there's a lot, but but yes, if we
come out there.
Speaker 2 (54:41):
You'll be getting a phone call.
Speaker 3 (54:43):
So okay, you're close to meet so that's good.
Speaker 2 (54:47):
Which colleges are close to you?
Speaker 3 (54:49):
Well, Clemson, Charleston, Furman, USC.
Speaker 2 (54:55):
Yes, is Columbia near there?
Speaker 3 (54:57):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (54:57):
Our Oh yes, he's looking at there and Charleston. Ah.
Speaker 2 (55:07):
Love that gives me a reason to get out there.
Speaker 3 (55:10):
Reunion time.
Speaker 1 (55:13):
Yeah. I love Okay, Andy, love you so much and
I know that everyone listening is going to love hearing
from you and how happy life is.
Speaker 2 (55:23):
I just wish you all the best.
Speaker 3 (55:25):
Thank you, you're the best.
Speaker 2 (55:26):
Thanks for coming, Thanks for having me.
This is the Almost Famous podcast with iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Welcome back.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Hi. It's Trista at the Almost Famous OG's podcast. I'm
so excited about today. She's one of the favorite bachelorettes
of all time and also one of mine. She's pretty amazing.
She's a former assistant district attorney, a two time New
(00:26):
York Times best selling author, and she's now a proud
wife and mom to a beautiful baby girl. We met
her on jan Poplos season of The Bachelor, and then
she became our bachelorette. It's Andy Dorfman Hart and I'm
so excited to welcome her to the podcast. Okay, I
mean seriously, it really has been way too long. I
(00:48):
think the last time we saw each other in person
was the reunion.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Which they need more of.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
I totally totally agree, Like I have been pushing for
that for so long, to have like a just a
giant reunion of everyone.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
But yeah, I totally agree. It was so much fun.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
Because I haven't met like half the newer girls.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
I mean, right, and you know they're all on our
on our Betty group chat, but you know, like not
everyone responds to.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
Messages, you know, you see, it's also just like so
funny because like I've never met half these people, and
I'm like texting like wishing him the best of luck,
and I'm like, I'm actually genuine about it, but it
sounds so creepy because I've never met them. Totally, that's
so true.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Yes, and children are growing up. We're going to get
into all things Harper. But but first I want to
go back to and just you know, life in general.
I want to go back to The Bachelor, so where
it all began, because of course this is the OG
podcast and we like to, you know, go back to
all the memories. So with the Bachelor, how did you
(02:06):
go on the show? Were you nominated? Did you nominate yourself?
How did all of that go down?
Speaker 3 (02:11):
I was actually working. I was a DA at the time,
so I was working as a prosecutor for the government
and like obviously on government salary. And my girlfriend's like
there's a free like casting call with free wine and beer,
like you should go, and I was like, free drinks.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
I'm in.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
I literally went for the free drinks Trista, I'm not
even kidding. And it was like at this great bar
where I lived. So I was in like a skirt
suit and I pulled up and everybody was in like
bandage dresses, like super cute high heels, and I was like,
oh my god, I was in a suit.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
Literally, that is why you got cast, because you know,
they look for professional people.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
I know. I wouldn't have comment like that.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Yes, no, I don't.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
And the best part about is I didn't even get
free drinks because as soon as I got there, this
girl was like, oh, come with me, and we started
talking and then she like gave me a packet sent
me out the back door. And so the irony of
it all is like I literally didn't get the free drinks.
Damn it all.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
Well you got some later.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
I got a lot more later.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Yeah, the show was definitely not one to keep away
free drinks when when you're on the show.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
So yeah, you got some later.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Yeah, it's true like they wanted people to be drinking
a lot and then that all stopped. Okay, so when
you met Juan Pablo, what were your first thoughts.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
I knew it was going to be him because they
had already told us, and I hadn't like watched any
of the seasons really, but obviously back then I feel
like it was everywhere, so you knew what was going on.
And I just remember I was like, he's hot. He's
an athlete, he was very good looking. I didn't know
anything about him, but I was like, I'm gonna go.
I'm young, this is a trip. He's hot, Like why not?
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Yeah, totally right that.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
I mean, really good luck game, Yeah yeah, I mean
and the whole alf. I mean, I know you've got
a thing for athletes. We've talked about that before.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Yeah, par I do.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Okay, so when you know the show is going, we
all know the history, but when did you know that
he was not the one for you?
Speaker 3 (04:23):
I feel like, Okay, it's kind of weird to think
back to this, but I remember being like, oh, I
just need to see him meet my family. Oh I
just need to see like go on a one on
one date. And then like each time I kept doing that,
I was like, I just need to see a little
bit more, a little bit more. So it was in hindsight,
he was never the guy for me. But a I
was having like a lot of fun. I met good girls,
(04:44):
we had great dates. So there was just like something
kind of keeping me in it the whole time until
I think, like Towards the end, I was very homesick,
and I was like, all right, I'm done. It's not
for me, like there is no next thing to look for.
I had kind of you know, explorted, and then I
was just like, it's not for me. But there were just
little things that kept me going, which is weird in hindsight.
(05:07):
But yeah, do.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
You feel like you would have done the whole Oh
maybe I'll I just need one more thing. I just
need one more thing in real life?
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Probably no.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Yeah, I was gonna say, because because it's a television show,
you probably felt like, oh, well this is supposed to
work out, and maybe I'll just you know, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
Is that how you felt?
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (05:28):
And also you're just like in this blur like back then,
it wasn't about social media, it wasn't about necessarily the TV.
Like we were traveling to crazy cool places. You were
doing these like amazing dates. So I think you were
just in like vacation mode, and no one wants to
get out of vacation mode, you know.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
No, well, of course not.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
And did you have your job on hold, like where
you want to leave an absence?
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Yeah? I told them, may be back in like two weeks.
I was like, I'm gonna go do this. I thought
they would never let me do it, and it turned
out my boss was like, oh my god, you have
to do this. It's like so fun and you're young,
go do it. And I literally told them i'd be
back in a couple of weeks. And I remember it
was like eight or nine weeks later and I emailed
them and I was like, so.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Stoopsies.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Yeah, but they had been falling along on like the
blogs and stuff. I feel like everyone knew where we
were at that time, and we didn't realize like there
were all the like like the blogs that were kind
of snooping on it and spoiling it.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
So they like reality Steve, Yes, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
That's so big. It's huge when we were doing it.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
He is still he's still out there.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
I haven't talked to him forever, but I know that
he I think he has a podcast now, but yeah,
he's still he's still dialed in.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
I don't know who his contact was.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
Or is, but that's crazy that he's he got scoop.
I mean, he always got scoop or everyone knew.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
My mom knew I was the whole time based on him.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
That's hysterical.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Oh my gosh, yeah, I guess I let everything go
to the waist diet on your season. Okay, so how
soon after the Bachelor did they contact you to be
the Bachelorette.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
I don't remember. I remember I went back to work
for at least a couple months because people would like,
bring me a rose. It would be like funny, and
I'm like, okay, aired, So it was definitely airing, and
it probably I take that back. They told me at
Women Tell.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
All okay, yeah, they asked you on stage.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
No, not on stage, but they had asked me at
Women Tell, and I think I had signed the contract,
and back then there were rumors that like multiple people
signed contracts, so it still wasn't like solidified for me. Honestly,
it wasn't until the very first night that I was like,
all right, I'm actually the bacherette.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Well I think all of us feel that way.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Yeah. I feel like until you get there, or at
least you should, because I feel like, after being in
this business for almost twenty five years, like you never
believe until you are actually there. You know, like things
can fall through the cracks and it cannot happen, So
don't bank on it. So that's so true. But that's
(08:09):
interesting about the contract. So being a lawyer, you signed
the contract that night without looking over it.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
No, I we had like negotia something I don't remember.
I mean, this is like eleven pool Okay, but there
was a contract in like maybe I'd already seen it
and I signed it at Women tell I just remember
at Women Tell All, I felt like there was extra
protection on me, and I feel like you'd get that,
Like I didn't realize it at the time, but they
knew I was gonna be the bachelor, and I just
(08:38):
looking back, there were a lot of like softball questions.
It was definitely like, you know, they did my hair
and makeup and they weren't doing everyone's hair and makeup.
There were little things that I was like, Okay, this
is a different level of kind of protection here.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Totally. Yes, for sure.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
You can tell when you're in that position. Were you
excited about it, Like, how did you feel about it?
Speaker 2 (09:02):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Did you feel like it could happen that you would
meet someone?
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (09:06):
For sure. I mean I think I was just like
young enough, you know, I think I was what twenty seven,
twenty eight, and like it had historically worked out a
lot before me, you know, like there was a pretty
good track record on all of it. So for sure,
I was like, yeah, I'm going to do this. I thought,
one hundred percent I was going to find my husband.
I was like, this is going to be the way
I find it of all people, you know, like a
(09:28):
prosecutor is going to find love on reality TV. I like,
one hundred percent sure.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Yes, for sure, That's how I felt.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
And I don't know if you felt this way, but
I felt like the producers knew me at this point
and they were going to have a way better shot
of finding someone for me than I was just hanging
out in Miami. You know.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
Also, I felt like everyone was kind of on the
same page at least, you thought that everyone wanted to,
you know, get married and find love there. I felt
like that was my guys at least, I mean most
of them. I'd say probably ninety five percent of them,
like truly wanted like a relationship. So it was different
from just like dating and not knowing what someone wanted totally.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Yeah, you're so right. I love that.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
Okay, So can you can you believe that we're actually
going to be called the bachelorette for the rest of
our lives, Like, for the rest of our lives, you
are the bachelorette. Is that a label that you like
or that you eventually think that you're going to retire?
Speaker 3 (10:27):
No, I mean, here's the thing is, it is like
it is part of my life. And there have been
times where I've been like, oh gosh, like not embarrassed,
but when people come up to you sometimes I feel
like around friends or something like oh my god, I'm
like all right, you know. But all in all, like
it was the coolest experience of my life, and it
is something that really did change my life and in
(10:49):
a lot of ways has defined my life. And I've
kind of just accepted that. In the beginning, it was
harder to accept that. And now I look back at
like the crazy perks and the cool people I met,
and like, it really is a wild thing that we did.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Whow Like, I can't even.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
Imagine for you being the first, because it's wild for
me being like I think that was the tenth you.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Know, were you That's what I was gonna I was
going to ask that I don't know, I can I
always forget the order. I mean, please, It's like if
you have twenty twenty children, you can't remember their ages.
So so yes, no, I I think it is crazy,
and I'm actually really proud of it, you know. I
(11:32):
love I love being one of a very small group
of people who have all experienced this.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Very unique experience. And you know, it's all.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
It's different for all of us, all of our all
of our paths were different, but we all definitely know
what each other at the core, you know, went through
and experienced, and it is such a such a cool thing,
such a blessing. But because for me too, it obviously
changed my life and in incredible ways, my kids would
(12:07):
not be alive if if I have done it, And
I feel like you probably wouldn't have found your family
this way, you know.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
It all kind of works out in certain ways. I
wouldn't have been in New York, I wouldn't have been
in California. I wouldn't have met my husband all I
was in California. So yeah, it's just like I kind
of just learned that it's a cool part of my life.
And there are some things where I'm like, oh gosh,
I wish you know, that wasn't on national television. But
for the most part, like I do have an overall
really good feeling about it, especially as I've gotten older.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Yeah right, I mean maybe that's just because we're we're
wiser as we get oldern show.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Just a little more mature. Okay, do you still keep
up with the show?
Speaker 3 (12:52):
No?
Speaker 4 (12:53):
I mean honestly, like I never really kept up with
the show now, especially I right now, they're so I
can't and I like reality TV show, I'm just like
I'm more of like a real.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
Housewie or like, yes, I don't know, I just never
really kept up with the show. And especially after I
did it, there's no way. I tried to watch like
a couple episodes, and I was in such like producer
mode that I couldn't enjoy it.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
That's so interesting that you say that. When you say
producer mode, explain that to the people who are listening, So.
Speaker 3 (13:24):
You start to realize, like who gets good edits who's
like maybe last out of the limo. That was always
like a prime realistic They would say, you can tell,
you can just I don't know. Once you've done it,
you kind of know the ropes, so you can tell
what's manufactured, which very little was. That was probably the
(13:45):
number one question I used to get was how much
of it is scripted? And I would say none of
it back then, at least like none of it. But
there are situations that you get put into, you know,
And so I just noticed that as like someone who
has already done it, and I've oh, there's a season
he's last, or you know, that's the good edit. Right,
(14:06):
I need to just like turn my brain off to
enjoy it, and I just could not turn my brain
off once it was on.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
That makes so much sense. I haven't ever thought about
it like that, But you're so right. Was social media
a thing when you were on the show? You know?
Speaker 3 (14:22):
Not really? I remember we when I went on The Bachelor,
they made us go on private for Instagram and I
was like, okay, like twenty followers probably like back then
you literally called like people you knew are like your family.
Right then after got off it did it started to
get bigger and bigger, not in the same way that
like some people after me did. Like I feel like
(14:44):
chrys Soul's season was right after mine. He was the Bacheler,
and I feel like those girls like blew up with social.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Media, yes, Caitlin, yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
And like Ashley, I actually no, Lauramazon, Yeah, I just feel.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Like that Baca.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
Yes, yes, yep, yes, and kind of started to blow
up the social media.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Yeah, that's so true.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
I yeah, obviously I didn't have any social media to
deal with. Did you feel like you were when people
would reach out on social media after you were done
with the show, because I'm sure they did, even though
you were saying like I only had twenty followers. Do
you feel like everyone was positive or were there some
trolls in there being mean?
Speaker 3 (15:31):
Definitely not. Oh no, no, I feel like social media
is like, I don't know the place for people. They
just bed and be crazy. Like it was definitely crazy
at the time. We had a lot of blogs at
the time, like I remember, I don't know if it
was like Reddit or like some other like the forums
and stuff. Those were where you really had to stay off.
(15:53):
People were still very much in the forums.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
Got it less.
Speaker 3 (15:58):
I feel like in like direct messaging and stuff.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Yeah, totally, yes, true.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
Twitter was actually, oh my god, it's all coming back
to me it is.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Oh yes, the mommy brain has been blocking it. Yes,
the live tweeting, I do remember doing that and obviously
being a huge fan of yours.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
Yeah, people were positive, very negative.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
Yes, yeah, I do remember, well this was on her season,
but Caitlin got like death threats, and you know, people
were really mean and I think.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
They still are. Yeah, uh huh for sure, maybe even
more so.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
So.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
Do you watch The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives since
you're a housewife fan?
Speaker 3 (16:51):
We watched the first season, and I will say I
didn't watch the second season because towards the end of
the first they were like I felt like they were
so mean to each other. The girl. Oh yeah, I
don't know if you got that vibe, but it was like.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
I didn't watch.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
I feel like I need to watch before Bachelorette.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
But I like the girl that's the bacherette. Though she's
the star of the show. For sure, she's gonna be
great like she was. Definitely she wasn't one of the
mean girls, but there were a lot of It was
just kind of like Caddy, I was like, I don't
want to I don't feel like watching this.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
It's not my Yeah yeah, yeah, it's bringing me down.
Speaker 3 (17:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
What advice do you have for Taylor?
Speaker 3 (17:36):
Oh boy? I mean I always say to try and
enjoy it as much as you can. It does go
so fast. And I know that's cliche everyone says that,
but it really does, and you start to overthink every
little thing instead of just trying to have fun and
enjoy it.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Right, Yes, you're so right. I feel like that's just
great life advice too.
Speaker 3 (17:55):
And also trying not to worry about what other people think,
which is way easier said than done. But that's also life. Like,
people are going to have opinions. Whether you are say
everything perfectly and make you know, every good intention possible,
somebody's going to have a bad thought or about it,
you know, judgment about it, and you just you cannot
live for those people.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
True story.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
How do you deal with those kind of people these days?
Because I'm sure you don't get a lot of that now.
I feel like it's probably similar to me. Yeah, but
there are people who like this homecoming.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
You know.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
I just posted about Blakesley and Max going to homecoming,
and of course the the people come out of the woodwork.
Like one lady was like, that would be an immediate
no for my daughter to wear that short of a dress,
And I'm like, do you understand that in the world
that we live in today, you.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Can't find a long dress like period?
Speaker 1 (18:52):
Yeah, and and like, you never wore a short skirt
like when I was growing up, they were tight and
short and at least she had a yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
Exactly invented the bandage dresses, lady.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
So anyway, I feel like there is negativity out there?
Speaker 2 (19:09):
How do you deal with that?
Speaker 3 (19:10):
Yeah, I think in the mommy world. I've learned in
the mom world, there are like what moms will say
to you is like mind blowing to me, as fellow moms, like,
I'm just I've never been the type of person that
would say anything to anyone anyways like that, So we're
already kind of I'm already a little shocked. But then
what moms will say to other moms is mind blowing
(19:31):
to me. And honestly, like I have not figured out
how to not care if I'm being totally honest, like
there's no way I can tell you that, Like comments
don't bother me. Some of them are so ridiculous, And
I will at times like scroll back and look, and
I'm like, this person's just off their rocker, like they've
just been ridiculous when the start, And sometimes that makes
me feel better, And a lot of times I just
(19:53):
have to completely try and ignore it. And try and
just like read the positives. But I haven't figured out
how to completely not be bothered by the negative comments.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
I mean, thank you for the honesty, because I agree.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
I don't know, yeah, same same, I'm sensitive and if
someone says something nasty, it's hard to not take that
personally because even though they don't know you, it still hurts.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
Yeah, no one wants to hear negative stuff, like, no
one wants to read that about themselves, whether it's right
or wrong.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Right, and especially about something that you care so deeply about,
like being a mom, and for them to come at
you for something that they think you're doing wrong when
you're just trying to do your best. That's all all
of us are trying to do is do our best.
I know.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
I do think most negative comments are coming from like
a place of unhappiness or you know, jealousy is a
weird word to use, but jealousy or just people that
are unhappy. And so sometimes I do try and just
like take a breath and be like, all right, they're
going through something that has nothing to do with me.
And so instead of trying to persually answer, just like
this is you know, their outlet, just try and brush
(21:04):
it off. Yeah, it's not easy.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
Yeah, I try to ignore and then block. I love
the block button. I like, Hi, I'm just like bye
bye see yeah, peace out.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
I love a delete comment to delete and they're like, oh,
you're deleting comments. Yeah, it's my wall. Of course, I'm
deleting comments. What do you mean I should leave it
up there to go back and reread the negative comment?
Iverythink I should use that up.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
Yeah, I know this is my page. So I'm going
to handle my page how I want to handle my page.
So if you have a problem, bye bye, see you later.
Speaker 3 (21:37):
Yeah, delete and bok I love them.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
Yeah same.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
Okay, So Nick Vile was your runner up. Have you
followed his post show success, his pod or anything.
Speaker 3 (21:48):
Yeah? Yeah, I mean like obviously killing it with the podcast.
I've run into him a little bit in LA, like
with his wife. But yeah, I mean I follow from
like Afar.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Yeah yeah, and you guys don't stay in ta.
Speaker 3 (22:02):
Yeah it's awesome.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
Actually, wait, he's hosting a new Netflix dating show. What
have you heard about this?
Speaker 3 (22:09):
No?
Speaker 2 (22:11):
I haven't either, Okay, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
A new depth Netflix dating show coming out next year.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
Whole boy. That's that's exciting.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
I know, right, I feel like I love to cheer
for the people from the show because we are this
like crazy dysfunctional family and you know, even if we
don't like agree on things or whatever.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
Also the hard work, like respect, the hard work. You know,
he hasn't gotten there without.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Them, totally.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
You are so right, but like respect the hard work.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Period. Agreed.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Okay, it's called Age of Attraction and it's with his
wife Natalie. Set to a premiere in twenty twenty six.
Okay to my producer Jackie. Yeah, that's I mean, there's
so many dating shows out now, it like Caitlin and Colton, and.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Then of course like all the Love Is Blinds and
I'm watching that right now. Actually, are you Blakesley's obsessed?
She was obsessed.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
I haven't watched that either, but yeah, maybe I need
to add it to my list.
Speaker 3 (23:19):
It's pretty good.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
They are doing a Denver version.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
I think that's now.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
Actually it is is it Love is Blind or Love Island?
Speaker 2 (23:29):
Which which is the Love is Blind?
Speaker 3 (23:30):
Would be Denver. Love Island is like always in Fiji.
That's a great show too. That's a mess.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
It's a mess.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
It's so funny though. That's the one shoe, harperd can't
go on that's the one.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
Ah, So you're saying that you would allow her to
go on Bachelorette.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
Pretty much anything but Love Island. I mean I love
Love Island, but like there's not a lot of clothing
more in there at all, Like you don't you go
into it, you know you don't, Like, yeah, it's not
the same.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
You're gonna have a hard time with homecoming dresses.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
I'm like, not that cool. No, this is like string
bikinis and like they make out with everybody, Like, yeah,
very free, good for them, no judgment. But I could
not handle it. I can't.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Yeah, as a mom, that would be hard to watch. Yeah, yeah,
we're not there yet. Okay, So you fell in love
on the show and then you settled back into reality
with Josh Murray and ended your engagement. I'm sure you haven't,
(24:33):
but I have to ask have you talked to him?
Speaker 3 (24:36):
No? No, I'm pretty much like once it's done, it's done,
especially like a dumpster fire, like I'm good, leave it
to Birn you know, but also like yeah, for the
most part, when I'm done, I'm done. Just in general.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
Well, yeah, and you were looking for more out of life,
like you wanted to find your man, and thank god
if you if you had like not been done, then
maybe you wouldn't have found him because would have been
still caught up in the whole Josh thing.
Speaker 3 (25:02):
So yeah, so long ago, and like when people bring
it up, I'm like, gosh, I almost like not forget.
But I've had so much like more you know, personal,
longer intense relationships since then that like most people don't
know about because I always kind of kept it private.
But I've had such more like significant relationships since then
that I kind of like forget, Like, oh yeah, I
(25:22):
was engaged, Like it doesn't feel that way. It feels
just like so long ago, like that I was basically
dating in high school. Like that's how it feels like.
It feels like a high school boyfriend.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
Yeah, like another lifetime.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
Yeah completely, yeah, I know, I totally totally understand that.
Do you feel like you were accurately portrayed on the show?
Speaker 3 (25:43):
Yeah, I mean I always felt back then that, like
I just didn't think they portrayed everyone as well rounded
as we were because by the way the elite, especially
as a female, like we were certain types of people
like that was not easy to carry a show like that,
and I know there was product, but like every single
one of us had a lot going on for ourselves
(26:04):
and was able to carry ourselves and carry twenty five
minute a time, quite frankly, and so I just kind
of always felt like they never like showed the full
picture of us, especially as the women leads.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Mm hmmm, that's so interesting.
Speaker 3 (26:17):
You're right, well what they showed, I said, and did
you know that part? I was never bothered by that
kind of stuff. I just always felt like they were
kind of missing a lot or like they could have,
you know, shah more about us.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
I feel like that's something that people don't understand is
so much ends up on the cutting room floor and
it's all about the storyline that they want to portray
that you know, whatever ends up on the show is
has to be in the show for the storyline to
play out. You know. Yeah, that's that's interesting. Okay, So
flash forward to we started the group chat and I
(26:53):
don't remember when we even started it was it like,
was it before COVID because we did that whole video.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
Yeah, you'll do that.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
I know we need to do another one, although it
would take like twenty minutes to watch it.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
We did do that during COVID. Oh my gosh, I
think that's my first real ever. By the way, I.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
Think it might have been mine too. I think you're right.
That's so cute.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
I want to go back to my Instagram and see.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
I love it. Okay, so we're in this group chat.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
Yeah, and obviously there's you know, at least one person
who has left, and we haven't added Taylor Frankie Paul
to it yet, but she.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
Will be joining. We just have to have someone get
her number.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
So what if we sent a text literally right now
to the chat, what would your bet be like? We'll
say it when I count down one, two, three, Who
would be the first person to respond?
Speaker 3 (27:57):
Oh wait, you have you already have an idea?
Speaker 1 (28:00):
Oh well yeah, because it's obvious, but you'll come up
with it and just in thinking about it for a second,
because she's always super supportive, and.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Yeah, you'll you'll just think, okay, do do do do
do I'm about to.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
Love Okay, Well then I'll I'll just tell you I
would bet that Deanna would write back.
Speaker 3 (28:25):
I was gonna say, Dianna is one I feel like
Caaitlyn writes back a lot.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
Yeah, Dianna is just so supportive and sweet, and I
feel like, you know, she's kind of like me. I
try to respond quickly to text because if I don't,
then I forget. Yeah, So that's why I'm so on
top of text messages or try to be you know.
I'm like, if I don't, then I'm gonna I'm just
(28:52):
gonna forget.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
I want to look back in it.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
Yeah, right, let's see what the last. So I was
talking and my producer about that. She's like, do you
guys still have the chat? And I said, for sure,
we do, but it's mostly just like congratulations.
Speaker 3 (29:11):
Yeah. Yeah. So last is Jojo pregnant?
Speaker 1 (29:14):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (29:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
So I was like, it's all about like marriages and
babies and and then unfortunate you know, like when Katie
Thurston was diagnosed, and like, you know that kind of
stuff like reaching out to just like send our love.
But yeah, I feel like it's just kind of like
lifting each other up and cheering for each other when
we have good stuff going on.
Speaker 3 (29:35):
Yeah, I love it, Milestone, Yeah, I love to do.
It also kind of keeps me connected because I feel
like we all have such different lines and live in
different places, and the further out from the show, the
less involved I tend to be. So it's nice to
still like have that part for me.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
Yeah, no, I please. I'm fifty three in a couple
of weeks, so I am definitely not.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
In the same like life space as most of it
most of the people. Yeah, okay, so you find Blaine,
you get married, You're talking about babies and wait, did
(30:20):
you you decided to freeze your eggs? Was this before
you met Blaine or way before?
Speaker 3 (30:26):
Actually, Caitlin Bursco and I did it together because we
did it with Whitney fish Off in Chicago. So I
was twenty nine, okay, and I did it and I
was very single at the time, so.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
I had a good idea.
Speaker 3 (30:39):
Yeah, I did it twenty nine and completely single, like
no attachments to anything with anyone.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
So why did you make that decision? I don't know.
Speaker 3 (30:48):
I think like Whitney and I had talked about it
and she was like, honestly, it's the best thing I
ever did. And I feel like I was just at
a time in my life where I'm like, I don't
know what's going to happen. I don't know, Like I
was living in New York, which you know is not
super conducive to like getting married younger, and I just
did it. I was like, I'm just gonna do this
for me.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
I don't know, yeah, I think it's so just the
fact that there's technology out there that that you can
freeze your eggs is so amazing.
Speaker 3 (31:18):
I didn't really like, I really didn't overthink it much.
I just was like, yep, I'm going to do it.
And then, you know, eight weeks later, basically I had
done it and it was done, and I don't really
think about it anymore, you know, until I need to.
But I think subconsciously it definitely stuck with me for
a while. I think that's why I waited so long,
you know, to a find someone but also beat up kids.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
What do you mean? What do you mean? You feel
like it.
Speaker 3 (31:41):
The pressure was off of me a lot because I
had those eggs, and I feel like I didn't think
about it all the time, But subconsciously, I do feel
like that pressure had been relieved and so I wasn't
out there necessarily dating just to like have kids or no.
Felt that like clock. I never felt the biological clock ever.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
You know, that's so interesting because I feel like that
happens with you. Hear all the time about people who
have problems getting pregnant and then they adopt, and then
they get pregnant naturally because you know, the stress isn't
there anymore, and stress just works, you know, bad vibes
on your system.
Speaker 3 (32:19):
And even still, like I had Harper at thirty seven
years old, you know, like, but I still didn't feel
that pressure and I still don't now because I'm like, okay,
well you know, I have these eggs like to use.
At some point in.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
Fact, did you and you had Harper naturally? Did you? Guys?
Speaker 1 (32:39):
Were you planning on were you working towards having a baby,
like you were actively trying? Yeah, we were, Okay, okay,
you were and it happened naturally. Was it like a
long process for you?
Speaker 3 (32:51):
I mean it.
Speaker 5 (32:52):
Was about I feel like we started trying like maybe
let's say September and happened April, So it wasn't super long,
but it wasn't like you know, honeymoon.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
Well yeah, I mean, gosh, it took me two years.
So yeah, it's not it's work.
Speaker 3 (33:16):
It really is. It's a whole roller coast of emotions.
It's like it's its own podcast, Like, the emotions of
trying to conceive is crazy.
Speaker 1 (33:24):
What kind of advice would you give to people out
there listening who who are thinking about freezing their eggs?
Speaker 3 (33:32):
Oh, I'd say just do it, don't overthink it. It
was literally like, you know, four to eight weeks of
your life. And I will say, as long as cost
isn't associated with it, which that is a huge burden
with the cost. So I understand like if you need
to think about it from that perspective, but if cost
isn't an issue, it's a no brainer.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
Okay, love that.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
And Whitney actually I think she was still doing it. Yeah,
I think she just left.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
But yeah, she's in Chicago recently.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
You did, I was in Mexico with her.
Speaker 3 (34:02):
Yeah. I was like, tell me the facts of like,
you know, I'm not there yet, but I would love
to just know like what this looks like at some
point because I am getting older. So yeah, I just
I've talked to her recently about it. It's cool.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
So you're okay, so are you considering using one of
those eggs?
Speaker 2 (34:20):
Are you guys talking about it?
Speaker 3 (34:22):
We're I think we're just now going to start like
trying a little we needed to get through a little
bit with Harper, But now it's kind of a good time.
So we'll see, like how long it takes, you know,
I don't I don't know. We'll see if it's starting
to take a long time. Like again, I have that
there so.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
Yes, yes, and you still have eggs yeah on ice?
Speaker 2 (34:42):
Yes, Oh that's on ice. That's so funny to say.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
So how long does the process take if you like
happen to take one of your eggs off off ice?
Speaker 2 (34:54):
How long does that process take? Do they just implant?
Speaker 1 (34:57):
Like?
Speaker 2 (34:57):
How what is that process?
Speaker 1 (34:59):
Like?
Speaker 3 (34:59):
I mean they well, minds and eggs are not an embryos,
it's not fertilized, so they thought they inseminate it. Then
they would do like genetic testing for it, and then
I think they put it in you, you know, based
on an ovulation schedule. I don't know completely, but that's
the gist of it.
Speaker 1 (35:14):
Okay, Yeah that makes sense. Yeah, I mean that's so cool.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
I love that you have. Science is so cool speaking science.
Speaker 1 (35:24):
I was just thinking was something that I wanted to
do in my career. Do you ever think about law, Like,
have you ever thought that you miss law and that
you would go back to it.
Speaker 3 (35:38):
Yeah, I'm actually I'm doing guardian at item right now,
so like I am, it's called guardian itt Item. So
it's like part of KASA, like Court Appointed Special Advocates,
So I represent like kids in foster care that are
going through court proceedings for like placements. So there is
a little legality to that. But I will say, like,
(35:58):
you sit in court for a very long time, and
that definitely makes me not missed being a lawyer. You're like,
all right, it's a lot of hours, it's a lot
of time. So this has been a nice way for
me to kind of dip my feedback into it without
fully like being a lawyer because I've got a lot
of other things i want to do.
Speaker 2 (36:16):
Yeah, right, and parenting is hard.
Speaker 3 (36:19):
Yeah, you can't know.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
I can't imagine, no, unless you did like consulting work
or something. But do you have to go back to
get your your license or whatever.
Speaker 3 (36:34):
Yeah, so it depends on your state. So I'm licensed
in Georgia. Like, I keep it in active status so
I'll always have that. I pay, like, you know, my
hundred dollars a year because I don't care. I'm always
going to keep that. I earned it. But like I
have to would have to take the bar in South
Carolina to go into court and practice. There's little loopholes
like general counsel, which is kind of boring blah blah blah,
but for the most part, Yeah, I would have to
(36:55):
retake the bar.
Speaker 2 (36:56):
Okay, got it. Yeah, that's for physical therapy for me.
Speaker 1 (36:59):
I just mine.
Speaker 3 (37:00):
I'm good.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
I didn't pay mine.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
I was like, okay, I'm done. I don't think I'm
going back, and I don't remember anything that I learned
to anyway.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
So there's that. Okay.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
So something you've opened up a lot about is pregnancy
and how much there's there's so much information about pregnancy,
but not really about postpartum.
Speaker 2 (37:20):
How was your postpartum experience?
Speaker 3 (37:22):
I mean dark, really, Plaine and I laugh now because
like the first four or five months of postpartum are
like it's just dark. You're just like in a hole,
you know, physically, mentally, emotionally, all of it. And yeah,
I mean it's you know, it's hard to explain.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
It's hard.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
Yeah, I feel like you're right, like they they need
to focus on that because.
Speaker 2 (37:53):
Women need support in that.
Speaker 3 (37:55):
I mean, it's crazy also from a science perspective to
think about like you created a human being and not
like yeah just because of the man, like your hormones
created a human being. And so for all of that
to just like release from your body, like that's not
a normal process, you know, like the build up of that,
you know, just like you know, just like, oh my
babies out, I'm back to normal. It's not how it right.
(38:17):
Sometimes Instagram will fool you into thinking that is how
it works.
Speaker 2 (38:20):
Oh completely.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
I mean I didn't have really postpartum depression to speak of.
I was pretty lucky in that, but it is really
hard to like, you know, you you you mourn your
your body and you do have all this huge hormone fluctuation.
I mean, please, when you get to menopause, we'll talk again,
(38:43):
because oh my gosh, the menopause hormones are no.
Speaker 3 (38:50):
Joke, right, and something's going on inside, Like it makes
sense in a certain way. I think for me, I
also wasn't like depressed, but I had a tough time
physically because I was so fit and I've always been
very fit, and I kind of stayed exercising. I mean
I played tennis like the da Harper was born. Like
the day I went to the hospital and I didn't
bounce back like I thought I would, and like I
(39:12):
see online a lot, obviously I'm older, but still like, yeah,
my body just didn't bounce back the way I thought
it would. So physically it was tough for me. But
I had a good friend that was like, listen, everyone
goes through postpartum in some capacity, whether it's physically, whether
it's mentally, whether it's you know, their child, emotionally, whatever,
it's like. You don't always see it, but everyone experiences
(39:34):
some version of postpartum, so mine was definitely like physical.
Speaker 1 (39:37):
I would say, oh, that makes total sense. You were
so fit, but you are?
Speaker 2 (39:41):
You look amazing.
Speaker 3 (39:43):
I mean I've been you know, it's been. It's been work,
more work than I thought it was going to be.
Speaker 2 (39:49):
Yeah, and you gained how much weight with it?
Speaker 3 (39:52):
I gained like fifty pounds, but I lost like fifteen
out of the hospital, you know, like a lot of
water weight. And then I just like sat at like
in the one sixties for months. No matter what I did,
I just like was not moving.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
Do you think it was hormonal?
Speaker 3 (40:07):
You know, yeah, a little bit. I had like my
lippid panels and everything, you know, tested I think it's
a little I also just think your body just does
what it does sometimes, like we all try to analyze it,
and it's like whether it's metabolism, whether it's water weight,
like I don't know. My body just was doing what it
was doing.
Speaker 1 (40:23):
So you feel like you're back on track, You're good.
Speaker 3 (40:25):
Yeah, yeah, getting there, you know, probably get to my
goal weight and get pregnant again. But that's crazy how
it works.
Speaker 1 (40:34):
Like just wait, I mean right, I actually are you nursing?
Speaker 3 (40:41):
No, I didn't nurse at all?
Speaker 1 (40:42):
Okay, no, because I once I stopped nursing, like I
feel like probably that day I got pregnant really with
Blake's Lake. Yeah, it happened like clockwork, like the.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
Second that I stopped.
Speaker 1 (40:54):
So but but obviously if you're not nursing, if you
haven't been nursing, then it wouldn't change anything. Nursing wasn't
for me, No, and it's not for everybody, and you don't.
You do not need to even preface that, you know
what I mean, Like it is, it is what it is.
Some people love it. I loved it. Some people it
doesn't work for them, and that's okay.
Speaker 2 (41:14):
Thank god. We have like options that you can use
you know, yeah, I was.
Speaker 3 (41:19):
Actually seeing it. I was surprised that I didn't get
more heat from that because I was pretty open from
the start about not nursing.
Speaker 2 (41:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:25):
No one said, okay, good, I'm glad they didn't because
they shouldn't. Writ it's a personal decision. Yeah, yeah, it's true,
because you're right the whole all of the moms have
are very opinionated about how to be the right kind
of mom.
Speaker 3 (41:43):
Yep. Yeah, yeah. Surprising though, no one everyone's like, good
for you. I was like, very cool. I was a
little nervous about that.
Speaker 2 (41:49):
But yeah, no, you do you, you do you?
Speaker 1 (41:53):
Okay, So let's talk about Harper. How is she?
Speaker 2 (41:58):
She is so a door?
Speaker 1 (42:00):
Well, your videos, your stories every time when you're showing
her in her crib. The one thing I crack out
crack up about is all of her binkies all over it.
Speaker 3 (42:10):
Yes, I taught us not because she would like wake
up in them all the night and like not be
able to find her pacifier. And I'd be like we
Blaine and I would really sit and look at the monitor.
We're like, girl, it's right above your head, like the
right to the right about it, Like one o'clock. You
can do this, And so I saw something put like
two in one time. We're like, wait, we should just
put three. And now like we just throw a handful
(42:32):
of binkies in there, like she finds them eventually, Like
it's so funny.
Speaker 1 (42:38):
I love it, And you know what, those binkies are
the best. That's what my kids used from the hospital.
I feel like they gave them to us at the hospital,
and then I just kept buying them.
Speaker 3 (42:48):
Yes, I just bought from the hospital, Like I bought
all these like fancy swaddles and all these like things.
I end up using everything that the hospital had, all
those I re ordered those swattles, all the pacifiers, the bottles,
Like it's so funny.
Speaker 2 (43:02):
That is so funny.
Speaker 1 (43:03):
I didn't even think about the fact that you could
probably reorder those like white towels with like the blue
and the pink stripe.
Speaker 2 (43:10):
You know, I still have them. That is hysterical because
I still use them. I love them. I mean obviously
not for swaddling.
Speaker 3 (43:19):
You would have a field day going on Amazon with
the baby stuff because everything you probably had that was
like the highest rated is still the Grey Go, the
Skip Pop, all that stuff, the og stuff is still
number one.
Speaker 1 (43:31):
I love it, yeah, because I do feel like I
have a little bit of fomo, like mommy fomo because
I swear all of the gear and all of the
clothes and I'm like, oh my gosh, I wish that
had been around when I.
Speaker 2 (43:45):
Was a mom. Is just so cute now.
Speaker 1 (43:48):
But yes, it flashes me back seeing her passes in
her crib, like I'm like.
Speaker 2 (43:53):
Oh, that makes me think of my babies. Okay, so
tell me about her personality. Let me see it.
Speaker 3 (44:01):
She is gonna be child, but she's tough, like she's
super tough. We were like at the park the other
day and someone like threw a ball in her face
and I was like, oh my, and she just laughed hysterically.
She just laughs. She hit her head the other day
on the door, just laughs when I were like, she's yeah,
but she's great. She's so smiling. I don't have anything
(44:23):
to base it off of, obviously, but like she's so happy.
She smiles at everyone, like in the grocery store. She
is a screamer though she's very She's a high pitch
like I've never heard, and she can definitely use her voice,
that's for sure. But I think she's gonna be sweet.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
Oh, she looks so sweet. She's gonna be so sweet.
She gave you for Mama. I used to say that
about Blakesley, that she was an extremist, like she was
either really happy or really mad or really sad.
Speaker 3 (44:52):
You know how'd that pan out?
Speaker 1 (44:54):
Now?
Speaker 3 (44:54):
Same?
Speaker 2 (44:55):
Oh that's interesting.
Speaker 1 (44:58):
Yeah, yeah, I mean we're going through the teenage years andy,
so oh yeah, it's real fun.
Speaker 3 (45:07):
Not a good comparison right now.
Speaker 1 (45:11):
I mean, obviously, yeah, I can tell you about four
years ago. No, she she's they're both amazing. They're they're
living their best lives and doing great. But yeah, hormones
for teenagers. Okay, Halloween is coming up. Are you guys
(45:39):
doing a family a family costume or are you just
dressing up Harper?
Speaker 3 (45:44):
Yeah we are. Yeah, we're gonna dress her up. I
mean she's going to be asleep. Honestly, I'm actually not
going to be here for Halloween because I have a
girls trip that got fast year. Yeah, and I'm like
I'm a terrible mom. But also like she's going to
be a sleep by seven, Like we're going to the
lights out. I was like, Lane, do I go? He's
like you go, Yes, you you go. So we have
(46:07):
like a couple of Halloween parties before, so we're going
to celebrate a week early. She's never going to know.
And I'm still trying to side on costumes though, because
they're all so cute that I'm like, I can't.
Speaker 1 (46:17):
Decide, right, so cute, but you don't do a family costume.
You just are I think we might have to. I
mean you kind of have to, right, Yeah, I wanted to.
Speaker 3 (46:28):
Be a rubber ducky and I do. I did find
an outfit. So because she's obsessed with rubber duckies in
the bath, like she wants to sleep with rubber duckies, Like,
you can't sound safe, and so I think we're going
to be like three rubber duckies.
Speaker 2 (46:42):
But I can't. I need to see that.
Speaker 1 (46:45):
Send me a picture if you found the costume before
before you leave on your girls trip. If I make
you feel any better. I missed Max's eighteenth birthday for
the birthday trip with Caitlin that I went on. I mean,
you just have to every so often, you have to
actually prioritize yourself.
Speaker 3 (47:05):
I agree with that, and you know what, there's a
lot of things to be in attendance for You're going
to miss a couple of things exactly.
Speaker 1 (47:12):
I try to be there for everything else, but this
just happened to fall on that, and I'm like, you
know what what would be doing anyway? We would be
blowing out candle, we'd be going out to dinner, you'd
be opening your presence. I can watch that on FaceTime
and see all the pictures afterwards. So yeah, he knows
I'd love him. Okay, So books, you haven't come out
(47:34):
with a book in a while. Are you thinking about
writing another?
Speaker 3 (47:38):
I feel like I want to. I will say this
is for a period of time, I was like, I
don't really have an ending, and now I do have
an idea of what I want to do. Now I
just need to find the time to do it. But
I feel like I really like experienced my thirties in
a lot of different ways, and I think I kind
of needed to come to a stopping point at that
in order to like make a little sense of it.
(48:01):
So now I do feel ready to write a book,
and now I just have to find time.
Speaker 1 (48:05):
Yeah right, I mean it's hard to find the time. Gosh,
it takes a long time. I do.
Speaker 3 (48:09):
I just do a ghostwriter for once, but I don't
want to do the ghost writer because I've already done
two on my own. But from a time since, so we'll.
Speaker 1 (48:17):
See, yes, yes, yes, well regardless, I'm sure it will
be super popular if you decide to write one. I
would love to read it. Okay, do you think your
time on reality TV is done? Would you be open
to doing anything else?
Speaker 3 (48:32):
I mean, I never say never, but I feel like,
you know the inner workings of reality TV, Like it's
not easy, it's not there's a lot of bureau there's
a lot of like time on the back end of like,
there's a lot a lot goes into it. Yeah, right now,
I'm like, I can't see myself doing a reality show.
I would do a competition show though, for sure.
Speaker 2 (48:55):
Yes, Like which one.
Speaker 3 (48:57):
I would love to do, like Traders or Special Forces.
I don't know if I would be good at Traders, though.
Speaker 1 (49:05):
I have said the same thing because I would love
to do Traders, but and I was recently asked would
I be a trader? And I'm like, no, I am
a horrible liar. Everyone could tell that I would be
a trader, Like I'm not an actress, So I feel
like I would just want to be a faithful That
show would be so much fun.
Speaker 3 (49:24):
I know, but it's so gamesmanship that I'm like, do
I have the brain capacity for that?
Speaker 2 (49:28):
Right? Right?
Speaker 1 (49:31):
I can say that Special Forces having been on it
last season, like you could, you would definitely crush it.
I feel like, once you set your mind to something,
you know, and so much of it is mindset. So
I know some people, if you want me to put
in a good word, I would.
Speaker 3 (49:49):
Do I think I would do it. I'm alone to
me by the physical aspect of it, But I feel
like it'd be a good win as a mom, you know.
I feel like as moms used to need a win
sometimes sometimes, like did you just something?
Speaker 2 (50:03):
That's a great way to put it.
Speaker 1 (50:05):
When they asked me why, Like what my why was?
It was that my kids are leaving soon and I've
dedicated my life to them and their lives and our family,
and I just wanted to kind of find out more
about myself. But the win, that's a great way to
describe it.
Speaker 3 (50:23):
I like that because you probably lose yourself. I can
already imagine, like you lose yourself in motherhood, like it's
a natural thing to do, Like it's just a maternal
thing that like I sacrifice whatever for Harvard's subconsciously, do
you know. I don't know if that's a male version
as well, but I know at least from a female version,
even in this short of time, it's like, yeah.
Speaker 1 (50:45):
I don't think for men for some reason, and I
don't know if it's like biological, but I feel like
I feel like it's it's more for women.
Speaker 2 (50:54):
We do we.
Speaker 1 (50:56):
I think we just integrate their lives into ours and
it just becomes who we are. At least that's definitely
my experience. So thinking about them leaving is heartbreaking to me,
but you know, also that's what you do. You prepare
them for life and let them fly, so hopefully it
(51:17):
will be.
Speaker 3 (51:18):
A good It's like fun times ahead too as more
being like an adult in like college and stuff and
like coming home to my parents and I had such
a different relationship and in like in a cool way.
Speaker 1 (51:27):
Yeah, and you guys are so close, so yeah, I love,
I love.
Speaker 2 (51:32):
I love thinking about that. Thank you. That makes me happy.
Do you live close to your parents? I do.
Speaker 3 (51:39):
My parents are in Atlanta, so we're like two and a.
Speaker 1 (51:42):
Half hours okay, and you're in your can I say this,
you're in Greenville. You've said that before. Yeah, So have
you gotten together? Have you seen Holly Julia?
Speaker 2 (51:52):
I don't know her.
Speaker 3 (51:53):
I've had a few.
Speaker 1 (51:55):
Yeah, Andy, you guys need to get where she on.
She was on well, she was on Bachelor Pad. She
won Bachelor Pad with Michael. Yes, and gosh, I cannot remember.
Speaker 2 (52:09):
Which who she was, which bachelor.
Speaker 1 (52:12):
She was, But I mean she's she's pretty og. She's
around your same time.
Speaker 3 (52:17):
I know exactly what you're talking about. I know I've
had several people say something to me and I'm like,
I've never met her.
Speaker 1 (52:23):
Oh gosh, you guys, I need to connect to it
because I feel like you guys would love each other.
And she has two littles. They're a little bit older
than Harper, but still she's you know, in the mommy
or the early mommy stages. She just is so much
fun and just started a mage On company. Like I
don't know if you play Majong, but you should because
(52:45):
it's really fun.
Speaker 3 (52:48):
Yeah, send me up with her. I've heard I've heard
my God several times.
Speaker 1 (52:52):
Yes, I love her and I love you, and I
feel like you guys would get.
Speaker 2 (52:56):
Along really well. Okay, girl.
Speaker 1 (52:58):
So when are we going to plan a trip with
all the all the Betties, all the bachelorettes?
Speaker 5 (53:03):
Right?
Speaker 1 (53:04):
I want to so bad. I feel like I say
it all the time.
Speaker 3 (53:07):
Adc to do it, so it's like on their dime.
Speaker 1 (53:10):
I mean right, Oh my gosh, I'm gonna write Milsy today.
Speaker 3 (53:14):
I don't even know who's in charge anymore because it's
been so long and I feel like everyone's come and
gone and like I can't keep up with who's still there.
Speaker 2 (53:23):
Yes, I know.
Speaker 1 (53:25):
I think Milsey is probably one of the only people
that I know, which is.
Speaker 2 (53:33):
Why are you No he wasn't.
Speaker 1 (53:39):
Yeah, no, he didn't start until later. But you know,
obviously just through the years, sure connected with him.
Speaker 2 (53:47):
You need a reunion, Yes, it would be.
Speaker 1 (53:51):
It would be so fun. I had so much fun
reunited with everybody. Yeah, just put it on air because
you know everyone loves us.
Speaker 2 (53:58):
Just get it fun.
Speaker 3 (53:59):
Everybody you've been like the wedding Jaden Tanner's wedding member,
like we didn't know them very well, but it was
so fun, the best time, the best time.
Speaker 1 (54:08):
I remember getting our hair and makeup done together and.
Speaker 3 (54:12):
Yes I miss that stuff.
Speaker 1 (54:14):
I do too, you know, and part of me if
we did a reunion would be like I would love
to just have us, but at the same time, like
I want to meet everyone's children and just love on
all the babies. Oh and girl, I'm we're looking at
colleges in South Carolina.
Speaker 2 (54:33):
So if we do.
Speaker 3 (54:33):
Come, you text me on the side. I want to know.
Speaker 1 (54:36):
Yes, it's there's a lot, but but yes, if we
come out there.
Speaker 2 (54:41):
You'll be getting a phone call.
Speaker 3 (54:43):
So okay, you're close to meet so that's good.
Speaker 2 (54:47):
Which colleges are close to you?
Speaker 3 (54:49):
Well, Clemson, Charleston, Furman, USC.
Speaker 2 (54:55):
Yes, is Columbia near there?
Speaker 3 (54:57):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (54:57):
Our Oh yes, he's looking at there and Charleston. Ah.
Speaker 2 (55:07):
Love that gives me a reason to get out there.
Speaker 3 (55:10):
Reunion time.
Speaker 1 (55:13):
Yeah. I love Okay, Andy, love you so much and
I know that everyone listening is going to love hearing
from you and how happy life is.
Speaker 2 (55:23):
I just wish you all the best.
Speaker 3 (55:25):
Thank you, you're the best.
Speaker 2 (55:26):
Thanks for coming, Thanks for having me.
Hosts And Creators
Lauren Zima
Chris Harrison
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