May 26, 2025 • 55 mins
RHONJ royalty Lexi Ioannou is here… completely unfiltered!
Lexi opens up about everything from her close bond with her mom Dina, to the trauma she endured at the hands of her stepfather and where she stands with Aunt Caroline and her cousins.
Plus, Lexi gives us the inside scoop on her life in LA!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey guys, Welcome back to another episode of Casual Chaos.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
This week.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
I have a guest that some of you might recognize
from the early days of The Real House Ives in
New Jersey, LEXI you wan to welcome to Casual Chaos.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Yeah, it's so nice to see you.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
It's so nice to see you. I'm like so giddy
right now.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
No, it's been so long. I can't even pinpoint how
long it's been.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
I know, I mean, we'll dive into all of it,
but I was really trying to remember when the last
time was. And I don't even know if you were
at Audrianna's communion.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
I wasn't, so then I really don't know. I don't
know either.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
I mean, my last memories were, you know, obviously running
around the brown Stone, Jacqueline's house, Caroline's house, your mom's house,
obviously your old house, running through your mom's closet, just yeah,
little things like this, yes, and then walking in and
animals everywhere there the little chihuahua what was what was
(01:02):
his name?
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Crazy? The one with other arms?
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Oh crazy, Yes, that was your mom's baby. But I
have random memories of all of this stuff. But I
don't know when the last time was I really don't.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Loveably ten years ago, which is so crazy because it
doesn't feel like that.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
I've been back and forth to California. I've seen your
mom and Dave, but I've just never seen you.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
The timing has always been always off. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Well, now you're in New York. How does it feel
coming back to Jersey? Do you ever get anxiety about it?
Speaker 2 (01:33):
I get so much anxiety about it. I really try
to avoid it at all costs, honestly. But I was
just there to see my dad and my whole Greek's
out of the family.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
How is your relationship with your dad now?
Speaker 2 (01:45):
He's the best dad? Yeah? He's always been the best dad,
the most consistent and normal and all of the chaos
of how we were raised, my dad was like my
normal sounding boy. So he's great.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Because when we were younger, did your dad not want
you to doing the show?
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (02:01):
I have random memories. This is where it's coming back
to me. But I'm having such random memories of everything
from when we were little.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
You were so little. But the first season, I don't
think anybody knew what it was going to be or
what we were getting ourselves into. And once it kind
of came out and it was as big as it was.
My dad was like, and my mom, we need to
pull Lexi out of this because I was just struggling
so much in school. I was twelve when the first
season aired, and I was so nerdy, so unfortunate looking.
(02:31):
It was like in the ultimate you know, awkward phase.
And it's like aired on national television, which luckily you
were able to see it coming because you were like
so little. Very few people can say that they went
through what we did with their awkward faces being displayed
for the whole time, you know, world to have an
opinion on it.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
It's definitely a crazy experience. But I remember you didn't
have an easy time in school. No, I had to
leave my school.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
It was this whole thing. I was basically like tortured
over it. Like it wasn't regarded as a cool thing.
It isolated me. Did you feel that way too? Honestly?
Speaker 1 (03:07):
And I feel like this stereotype kind of lives in
Jersey a little bit about the different counties for sure,
But in Morris County we look at Bergen County as, oh,
these are where the rich kids live. You know, everyone's
got it together in this County. And that's just how
people in Morris County see it. Not that the people
in Morris County. You know, people obviously have money in
(03:29):
Morris County, but people don't view that county as that definitely,
so yes, a status thing, one hundred percent. You know, Oh,
there's nice houses in Bergen County, really nice areas.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Stuff like that in Lakes has such a connotation to
it now too.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
I remember they would go get their hair done at
the Cocoa Chateau.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Yeah, chateau. That's where it all started.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
That's where it all started. When I was growing up,
I might have had I think one person really stuck
with bullying me. I guess you could say it was bullying,
but just kind of comments throughout the years. When I
was in elementary school, middle school, high school, it was
the same person that constantly tortured me, and I.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Was like, what is wrong she? Now, I would love
to know it was a guy. What is a boy?
I'm so unexpected right, Usually the girls are the mean
one I know.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
But I have to say I was fortunate enough that
people really didn't bother me in Moville. They really didn't.
And even when I got to Rutgers. It was more
so fans coming up to me, and so I really
didn't receive the hate.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
I think it was a timing thing. I went into
it at that age, like you were so little when
it all started, and then it kind of evolved and
it became something cool. But in the beginning, there were
so many women in New Jersey that were so envious
of our moms and wish that they got that attention
and that opportunity. It was just a perfect storm of
bad timing and that's why my mom left.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
So she left right after season two, and she, I
think felt like this wasn't for her when it was happening,
and as much as she had my mom stick up
for her, literally filip a table for her, I think
it was just very overwhelming. But I think there was
(05:21):
also so many other components to it too. You know,
it was affecting you a lot, but then I think
it was also getting in the way of her relationship
with Caroline and Jacqueline created such a mess, such a mess.
Do you feel like everything that is transpired to present
day Do you feel like if the show was never
a thing, that everything would have happened.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
You know, family dynamics are complicated. You understand that too.
The personalities are so different. I think it's a shame
because we had such a large and amazing family, and
for my grandparents, I wish that they got to see unity.
We are so different. Yeah, we're just so different. Yeah.
I really don't see a lot of common ground between
us and the rest of the family.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Your mom also came back season six, Yes, for one year.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
The only reason she went back is because her family
left and she was going through the divorce. I was
about to go to college, and she's like, this is
a job. Do you want to go to college? It
doesn't pay for itself. We got to do it, and
I was totally open to it at that point. That
season was so boring.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
You know, that was the worst season in Jersey Sty
So boring. Yeah, no, that one was bad, But you
know what, the season was boring because everyone kind of
got along and the people that were fighting were around
care No.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
One cared about it exactly.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
So they wanted you know, your mom to be fighting
with Caroline and Jacqueline. They wanted my mom and her
brother to rip each other's heads off.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
That's what they want want to decided to have boundaries
with their family that.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Year, I know why, I think was normal, Literally everything
was normal for a hot seck. I mean, you were
so close with I remember when we were younger, you know,
I'll be Lauren, Chris and I mean they were the
ones that were closest to age with you. Yeah, I
(07:11):
lived with them, if you remember, my mom and I
lived with Caroline when my parents got divorced. They were
basically my siblings.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
I'm an only child. Yeah, so it was definitely a
massive loss to lose those relationships, and the crossfire of
what happened with our moms hard.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
They initially stopped talking. Was it when your mom and
Tommy got divorced? Oh no, No, it was way before,
way before, and then I truly can't even tie it
down to one reason. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
The show creates a lot of chaos, yeah, especially with
family dynamics and money and fame, and it can kind
of have the ability to bring out the worst in
some people sometimes too.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
It does, especially like you said, when there's money involved.
As sad as it is, it's a competition exactly so,
because there's a show involved and then the money's involved,
essentially competing against your family members to try to get
to the top. It shouldn't be like that, and as
a family, build an empire, grow as a family together,
create a unit. I always, you know, wish that for
(08:13):
my mom as well. I said to her, if your
brother didn't come on the show behind your back and
want what you had so badly and just asked you, hi, Tree,
I think I want to join the show, my mom
would have said, all right, Joey, let's do this together.
We'll build this empire as a family, make our parents proud,
(08:36):
and show America what an Italian family really is exactly.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
But it's the most national job, like in the entire world.
It's hard to just look at it as that as
an opportunity, as a job. It's like all these emotions
get involved. Yeah, my mom fell out with hers during
that second season. I'm pretty sure that's when it really
all became.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Yeah, you were young when my mom flipped the table.
I remember you had you were still young, You're still little,
so you were living with them when you were little.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
I was living with them from ages like four to seven.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
So that's why you were saying they were like, really
did raise you?
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Yeah, I mean, Lauren was there when I shaved my
legs for the first time. She dropped me off at
a boy's house for the first time for my first kiss.
You know, all being Christopher, where my brother is my
protectors and now we're complete strangers.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
Yeah, you don't talk to any of them at all.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
I reefed out to them after Tommy went to jail
because I was looking for help getting my things back
from the house because he left for jail, and then
I had an understanding that he kept everything of mine
all those years, so I wanted it back. It was
really difficult for me to extend myself and to ask
for help, but I was that desperate, Like I just
wanted them.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
You wanted your heirlooms back, You wanted the things that
like you said when I've read your entry, when you
don't poke the bear, I almost started crying just because
it brought back just so many memories, and it also
just brought back how I remember our moms on the
phone just saying my closet's there, I have everything's there.
(10:18):
He literally left me with nothing, and reading your entry
and saying how you even had thirty minutes to get
your things? That was no right to you. No, this
wasn't your fault that they were separating. It was almost
like a dominance thing, like get out of my house,
but you're left with nothing to make you feel so
(10:42):
alone and helpless in a way.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
Yeah, and then he held on to my things for
you know, ten years and used them as a collateral. Yeah,
because he had this also, this like weird obsession with
me for years. People would tell me that he kept
my room exactly the same because he thought I was
going to come back, Like I can't even begin to
(11:06):
understand why you would think I would ever come back there.
But let's have those things weird towards you when you
were younger. He never had children of his own, and
I was the closest thing he had to it, so.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
He really never uncomfortable though.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
No, he was never inappropriate, but he definitely was very affectionate,
and that was something I was very uncomfortable with because
neither of my parents are that way, So to receive
it from a stepfather is kind of like extra strange
when you don't receive it from your actual father. My
dad's very lovey, dovey, kissy, huggy. Yeah, and you know,
(11:46):
I was told to pay him that kind of affection
out of respect. Therefore, I felt like our relationship was
very uncomfortable for me.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Yeah, I don't know if you remember how he was,
but he just like I honestly remember him not being
that present.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Yeah, he was never around.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
I always remember whenever we were at the Brownstone, we
would run into the office, you know, just like kind
of like go through the outskirts of the Brownstone and
run around and cause havoc because we could, and because
we were so close with everyone and it didn't matter.
But I always just remember him sitting at that desk
at the Brownstone. I really don't have vivid memories of
(12:25):
any of that.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
That's usually where he was, so it makes sense. Yeah,
he's an interesting character. And the way their divorce played
out and everything afterwards really is still, you know, a
shock to both My mom and I were just like,
how did this become reality?
Speaker 1 (12:40):
But he clearly had and your right, obsession is the
right word, because then to make those events actually take
place and orchest straight something like that, you're sick.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
Yeah. I went to the the trial last year and
I sat there for a week and I listened to
everybody test FI and did that give you clarity? Yeah?
I mean my Mom and I are so different like that,
Like she couldn't even stomach like being there for like
thirty minutes every day, all day for seven days, and
like I needed to know everything. And the word that
(13:14):
came up a lot was obsessive. Definitely, there was some
kind of obsessive disorder going on there with the fact
that he lost his family quote unquote my mom and
I and he just lost control.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
And he thought that money and power could fix everything.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
And honestly, some of the things he has done have
been the most painful things I've ever had to face
in my life. See my mom go through, see Dave
go through. It's been it's been completely unfair. Nobody deserves
any of that. But for me, the hardest thing to
overcome was him keeping my things and then eventually having
(13:54):
people discard of them. It's like, so hateful.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
What happened when you reached out to them about so.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
I reached out to them, And you know, it's so
funny because I wrote that don't poke the Bear article
and that was massive for me because I was silent
for ten years. I never spoke out on anything.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
I never spoke out about anything, never, And that will
get into like even how you came here today and
you know your comfortability level and how much you've grown.
Because I was so surprised.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
I never spoke out on anyone on anything, on any conflict.
I always was like Switzerland, and part of me is
like hesitant to even get into me reaching out to
them for help. And then I'm like, why why should
I hold back on like my truth? Yeah, And the
truth was, like I reached out to them for help.
I'm sure if you ask them, they did everything to
(14:55):
their best ability, but if you ask me, it wasn't
nearly enough. They disappointed me. Again, That's what I mean.
We're so different. I left off with them very open ended.
I was talking to them every day, asking for updates,
looking for help, looking for connections who had access to
the house. You know, there was a garage sale that
(15:16):
they had told me about, and they went to the
garage sale to look for my things, which you know
that was good on them, but still, Albi told you
about the garage sale that was now Lauren texted me.
I was in the middle of like a video interview
for my business and she texted me, there's a garage sale.
I heard some of your things are there. I was like, well,
are you gonna go? Yeah, and she's like, oh, I'm
(15:37):
going to send some of my friends and I called her.
I was like, no, you're gonna go, and you're gonna
go right now, because like at that point, the sale
was almost over. It had been going on all day long.
Lauren and Caroline went, one of my mom's friends went.
I had my dad go and take pictures, and I
saw things like, you know, the dollhouse that my grandmother
made me that was in my room growing up. These
are like irreplaceable heirlooms that have no value to anyone else,
(16:01):
you know, like my mom's insane shoe collection in her
designer bags. Those things are long gone. We accepted that,
but that wasn't what I was looking for. I was
looking for a piece of myself to have back. And
people were just protecting, you know, the things in that house,
protecting Tommy. And I asked Caroline and Lauren for help,
(16:24):
and I think they were only willing to do what
they were comfortable doing. I would ask them to make
phone calls to people and they wouldn't make them.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
So they clearly have some sort of a fear too,
or they just don't care. And it's just pure selfishness.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
I like to think they care. They're my family, but
I think we care about themselves more and keeping their
own peace more than fighting for mine. So it's okay.
I needed a reminder who I was dealing with because
(17:01):
as a kid, I saw my mom going through so
much pain with her family, and I guess I had
to understand what it felt like as an adult.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
And I feel like, you know, our parents can only
remind us so much of what they went through and
how it hurt them, but we're not going to realize
it until they do it to us. Yeah, we have
to have our own experiences, our own opinions, and I
definitely have my own. Did your dad see who was there?
Speaker 2 (17:28):
Like?
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Could he go into the house or was there security?
Speaker 2 (17:31):
I know everything about the woman that had this garage sale,
and I know she's one of taught me these people.
And I called her when she was having this sale
and I told her she was selling illegal goods. I mean,
I lost my mind. I've lost my mind. Yeah, Like,
I'm a very even balanced person and I very rarely
(17:53):
get to the point of extreme anger. But we all
have a little bit of Teresa table Flipp and I
definitely lost it on that woman.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Yeah, I mean, as you should again, you know, I
mean even everything from when you were little, like your jewelry.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
Everything's gone, just all of that. Everything. Yeah, that would
tear me apart, everything, you know, I mean everything.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
I was even going through random things the other day,
and it's crazy, like you know what up, but God
like sends you to like go through things for a reason.
And I had this old Mac makeup case, one of
those really old, like indestructible Mac makeup cases, and I
was about to, you know, give it to my cleaning lady,
(18:39):
like here, take it. I mean, I don't need it anymore.
It was just like collecting dust. And I opened it
and I guess when I was little, that's where I
stored all my baby jewelry. So I found all my
bracelets and literally the Ladybug bracelet your mom gave me
was in there. Everything. And I was about to just
(19:01):
give that to my cleaning lid.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Oh my gosh, thank God, but.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
That would have killed me, you know, to like one
day know that those were gone and wonder where they were.
But I mean for him to want to keep all
of that, he.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
Kept it with so much intention. To have something to
hold over me. The week before he went away, he
called me and I didn't pick up because I had
a restraining order. But you know that the FBI put
in place, So he called me, and I was like
frozen into fear, like, oh my god, I can't believe
(19:42):
he would call me, like he's about to go to prison.
I know everything he's done and how he did it,
and I think he was probably calling about the things
because he knew that that was the only reason that
I would consider picking up. And I look back, and
I do wish I picked up, because now I have
the perspective of, like, I dare you to call me.
(20:02):
I'm so angry, like truly, and I've had to process
so much of that anger, mourn the fact that those
things were there and they're definitely gone.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Now that sucks because you believe that he was really
just intentionally trying to just hurt you.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
I mean, he kept those things from me. The last
time I spoke to him was probably, you know, right
before the incident that happened with my mom, and I
asked him I had a new boyfriend, and he was like,
I want to meet him, And I said, when you
give me my things back, like he was still holding
them against me. I mean this was right before the
(20:44):
incident with my mom, the home invasion.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
You still kind of spoke to him or try to
keep a relationship with him after the divorce.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
I knew that he was begging to have a relationship
with me, and he was manipulating me. Yeah, I look back,
it was just pure manipulation and I felt so torn
on what to do. But I knew that he was
not a good man, and I knew he wasn't good
by my mom. You know, we had a feeling that
(21:24):
he had, you know, done some terrible things, but we
didn't have proof of it, and he put me in
a very terrible position for a very long time.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
Done going into when the character letters were being written,
was that during trial.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
No, there were character witness letters submitted to the judge
on behalf of Tommy to help kind of persuade the
judges of NYA of his character. There was, Yeah, there
was like tens of character letters from mayors, New Jersey
(22:00):
police officers, my family members, my mom's friends. Like I mentioned,
Dolores wrote one. I mean they're not friends anymore, but
they were like best friends. Me and Gabby were best
friends growing up. My mom, Dolores, your mom, They're all
were very close. So it's like layers of pain for sure,
to feel like people had his back in such a
(22:22):
formal way too, to do that. Yeah, But also, you know,
the facts are the facts.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
Seeing what he was capable of and what actually happened
and the outcome of his actions should have just solidified
all the answers. So he must have had a very
persuasive way of treating people, or some sort of power
over people.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
The fact that you know, people of authority were even
writing character witness letters for him.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
I'm sure that was their truth if they felt like
they would write a letter. I don't think he like
was making anybody do anything. It's when people really believed.
I think a lot of people believe differently now that
there's a guilty verdict, there's still certainly a lot of
people that believe in him and believe he's innocent. I
just think the whole thing is just so interesting, yeah, honestly.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
And I mean the whole thing also impacted your family
so heavily. I mean, I remember your mom and Dave
came for Audrianna's communion. It was that whole day was
weird because they obviously wanted to be there so badly
for Audriana. And you know, Dina is the best god
mom ever. She still texts Audriana and you know, just
(23:43):
loves her the little gifts that she always sent her
when she was little. But it was out of pure
fear of coming back to New Jersey after leaving Tommy,
I mean, even for Audrianna's communion, and your mom really
didn't want to come, and the fact that she came
was a big step and we all knew that, and
(24:05):
your mom and Dave basically stayed with us all day
and all night.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
They came back to my house.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
Like you know, some of my family members, friends, We
were all just hanging out pretty late. But then they
had a head down south a little bit. They had
like an hour drive.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
The next day, it was Mother's Day and they were
coming into the city. It's when I was living in
the city and they were supposed to come see me
for Mother's Day.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
It was like, it was weird, and it was almost
like they wanted to stay with us as long as
possible to kind of protect them in a way, you know,
just feel safe. I know when I'm around people, I
feel safer. I just like being in the company of people.
You also have a million sisters, I know, no, I know,
I just I hate being alone. But it was almost
(24:52):
like they really did. Obviously they were probably enjoying the day.
We were having a great time, but they really stayed late,
you know, until they had to go home, and it
was like, we get that call. I remember my mom
was like hysterically crying on the floor, like she was
like so upset. And it was weird because I remember
even Dave saying he had such an expensive watch on.
(25:14):
They didn't take his watch. They didn't take anything. They
didn't take any of their belongings. The only thing they
took was your mom's beautiful engagement ring that she was
literally showing me that day. It was the moon and
the star, right, and she was so happy about it
because you know, she's so into the holistic approach and spiritual.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
It was a beautiful ring and he puts so much
effort into it.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
And I remember that was the only thing they took.
So it was a crime with intent. Yeah, it was
went in there to get something, So it wasn't like, oh, Okay,
we're going to rob them because we know they have this,
this and that, and we're trying to make a quick buck.
Like no, they went for the ring, and they left
(26:00):
anybody else hearing that. How could you think any differently?
Your whole article about don't poke the bear, it really
is true, you are the bear, and that whole thing
was just such a moving message if you want to,
you know, explain to people how you are the bear
and how it's just fear.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
I lived in fear for so long, and I was
silenced by my fear by upsetting anyone in my family,
by angering him and provoking him to do something, and
lived in that fear until really recently, once I sat
in the courtroom and I understood that I was the bear.
He was the one, you know, about to go away
(26:42):
for the things he did. My family were the ones
that were embarrassed by the things that they did, And
why should I fear them? They should fear me. I mean,
the things that I've come out and I've said in
that letter, like things i've said today in the podcast.
They might feel like big things to say, but I
could go on for what I could say about all
(27:02):
these people, and I still don't you still like to have.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
Respect ultimately though, you're just speaking your truth, and you're
also speaking about your belongings exactly. You weren't asking them
to do anything astronomical. You were simply asking them, can
you please help me get my things back? And that
was the only time that you ever contacted them.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
In years and so long. There's just layers to the pain.
I didn't even want to get into the betrayal that
I had dealt with from them. I just said, this
is a way for us to repair what's so broken.
If you can show me that you love me and
help me with something that's breaking me that I know
that you can help me with, then we can repair
(27:50):
something like that was kind of the perspective, like, I
don't think my mom and her sister can never repair
what's broken. It's too far gone. But why can't the cousins.
I would love to know them and know their children
and be in their lives like that. It pains me,
But the reality is like from my eyes, they failed me,
(28:12):
and they failed me again.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
And this is when you really needed them.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
Listen.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
So much turmoil can pass and so much hurt could
be done, but the fact that you went back to
them and asked for one thing after they already caused
all this pain and after all these on my.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Knees begging for help. No, literally, I'm in California. I
need somebody that can go to that door, knock on
the door, call the right person, ask for help. Like
I know, the things are there, and it's a ticking
time bomb until they're not. Because now he's in prison,
other people are in charge of what's going on in
that house.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
And I was right.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Weeks went by, weeks, weeks, weeks, weeks, weeks, weeks, No,
nothing of importance was done. No.
Speaker 1 (29:03):
So then I mean, at that point, what other choice
do they leave you to feel?
Speaker 2 (29:09):
Yeah? I also I just stopped hearing from them.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
It's like they just didn't even care all along. They
wanted to show you maybe that they cared a little
bit by telling you that there was a garage sale.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
Yeah, And it was just so much back and forth.
I was talking to them every day for hours a day,
and I had some really awesome conversations with my cousin.
And you know, I love her, I really do. She's
the closest thing I'll ever have in this lifetime to
his sister. And I think it kills both of us
that we don't have each other anymore. But it just
(29:47):
it just can't like there's too much pain. Now I'm
even in more pain.
Speaker 1 (29:52):
So very similar to my mom and her brother and
my cousins, how you are with aside from the situation
with Tommy, the forming of distance from your family. We
discussed it, you know. It's the jealousy, the hurt, the competition,
the money, everything that falls into play. But because this
show really sometimes could create such a toxic and turmoil
(30:16):
environment for families, it's really hard for the cousins to
stay close.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
It's unfair.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
It's so unfair when your parents are at war with
each other. Quite honestly, it's so hard to bring the
kids together. I really think a lot of it has
to do with the show, because you know, my parents
aren't together, but we still.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Are so close.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
With my dad's side, I'm close with every single one
of my cousins. Everything is how it should be. That's
even though my parents aren't together. We never let it
affect But I guess it's kind of you got to
give it to the adults a little bit too, for
allowing you know, the children to be together.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
You know, always let me have an open door to
my cousins, and she wanted me to have a relationship
to them. You know, I'm sure my aunt Caroline wanted
them to have a relationship with me too, But it's
just like the politics of it all. At the end,
it's just my mom and I. I don't have siblings.
She's been in these relationships that have been difficult, and
it's always just been me and her. She had me
(31:26):
really young, and at the end of the day, like
I will always stand behind her no matter what. Yeah,
and it's hard for me to watch her be in
so much pain. It's really hard.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
I guess you're right, you know, it really is the
politics of it all, because it is difficult. Every situation
is different, but ours is very similar in that aspect.
And I mean, I don't know my mom always you know,
we've reached out to my cousins, were quite for years,
you know, always wishing them a happy birthday and things
like that, but you know, we stop receiving that in return,
(32:02):
so then it's almost like why continue if you're not
receiving the same thing in return, and then it kind
of fades out.
Speaker 2 (32:11):
It's sad, exactly. Yeah, I'm at peace with those relationships.
When I think about it doesn't make me sad. Yeah,
but I've made peace with that a long time ago.
But it's the betrayal sometimes it just makes me really angry. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
We're also taught at a very young age famili's everything
you do, everything for your family. You know, you're as
thick as thief. Literally, you know all the lines that
they would say back in the day, and it's where
did all that go? It's so funny how it all
just honestly goes out the door ultimately. Literally, Bye, you
(32:54):
went to NYU, did you not? I went to Fordham
and then your experience when you got into college is
a lot.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
Yeah. I found myself. I needed to live in New
York and be alone. And that's when my mom met
Dave and she was going off and doing, you know,
finding her own happiness. I was finding mine.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
And I'm so happy your mama is Dave. Yeah, he's
so great, and she found her happiness. I feel she's
so happy where she is. I feel like she's just
so at peace.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
Yeah. I can't imagine her anywhere else.
Speaker 1 (33:23):
I mean, I feel like her in herself is out.
Even everything that she posts I'm like, I need this ze.
Speaker 2 (33:28):
She in my life. So funny too. She has no
idea how funny she is, but she's so funny.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
I mean, I feel like always she's always just been
so funny.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
Yeah, she's a character.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
Now.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
I'm so happy for her. She's thriving where she is.
She has a community that's aligned with what she loves,
and I love where she lives. We're close enough to
each other that you know, we can see each other,
but we're not up each other's We were always way
too codependent, so it was good to kind of break
apart from it.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
I remember she would call you twenty four seven, you guys, but.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
Again it was always you guys, exactly so, and she
watching me go through trying to get these things back,
she was like, Lexi, I I healed from this a
long time ago. I accepted my things were gone a
long time ago. But now watching you go through it,
it's such an insane experience for her because I'm basically
(34:25):
reliving what she dealt with ten years ago. But I
was just too young to understand like the levels to
it all. And she said to me, and it was
like so meaningful that she said this. She said The
most healing thing that I've ever done is watch you
stand into your power, like when I wrote that letter
and when I started just speaking out on my.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
Truth and what made you really get to this point?
Speaker 2 (34:49):
And was it?
Speaker 1 (34:50):
I guess you know, once you knew he was really gone,
I'm sure that your closure in a way.
Speaker 2 (34:56):
Yeah, sitting and watching that trial, seeing him, you know,
stand there, and I sat in on everything all like
the zoom hearings, everything those public no victims could sit
into them, and I sat into everything I saw. I
saw everything just so I could kind of understand, like
this is reality. And then I think I kind of
(35:21):
just realized, like what am I afraid of? It still
feels uncomfortable, Like I feel uncomfortable talking about the situation
I had with Caroline and Lauren recently. But why it's
like my truth, it's my experience, Like, Okay, they're gonna
get upset, it's.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
Also your life and you've been hurt by this time exactly.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
I've been upset and nobody called me for years, for years,
even after the trial, the truth of everything. Nobody called me. Yeah,
see that's crazy, I called them.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
I feel like if I were to hear something so
devastating that involved, you know, my cousin's parents, but obviously
I knew they were hurting my cousins. I would at
least reach out to my cousins. Yeah, because the the
kids don't have anything to do with this. This wasn't
your fault, this wasn't your doing, but you had to
(36:16):
deal with the repercussion.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
She was just caught in the crossfire of all of it. Also,
like the chaos of what happened with Tommy and the obsession,
Like I had to deal with all that on my own.
Like nobody in my family ever extended any comfort to me,
and they all knew the things that were coming to light,
and they all were still around him. I had family
(36:38):
members that still worked for him.
Speaker 1 (36:40):
Said Cookie right, and don't poke the bear. Cookie was
just Cookie right. She never married her her kids.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
She's remarried, and she I have a cousin, but you
guys were very close. Yeah, she lived with us for
a while. Yeah, she was like second mother to me.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
For sure, and she never reached out either.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
Listen, people meet you where they're at. And I've had
to accept that people might have not showed up for
me in the ways that I needed to because they
simply didn't have the tools and they couldn't and they
have their own things that they need to deal with
and come to terms with. And I think everybody just
(37:23):
met me where they were at.
Speaker 1 (37:25):
Yeah, I mean I think also maybe it was embarrassment.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
I don't know what it was. It's for them to
all figure out. Yeah, I gave up a long time
trying to understand why people did the things they did.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
And you know, at that point, though, it's almost like
they made their bed and now they have to lay
in it. Maybe, you know, as you said, Caroline regrets
writing the character like sure, she told me, Yeah, I'm sure,
but you did it exactly. Everybody has to go to
sleep in their own bed at the end of the
night that they made. So that's that's their life.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
Overall.
Speaker 1 (38:08):
You guys have all come such a long way, and
I'm so happy that you're finally at peace and you
finally have found happiness, because you really are glowing. You
look so happy, and I feel like this is your
way of kind of just releasing everything that you've been feeling.
You've been silent for so long, and I feel like
(38:30):
a big part of why I've been there, you've been
there restricting ourselves from speaking out while we're younger, and
you know, waiting until we're in our adulthood is because
we're so nervous for what the public is going to
say about us. And your mom was really only on
(38:51):
Housewives for three years, but she made her mark. She
still talked about your family drama is still talked about.
Speaker 2 (38:57):
And it's so.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
Crazy because you know, the twins and Amber, we're on
for a hot minute and nobody talks about them. But
your mom really left her mark, So we are still
viewed as children to the public eye.
Speaker 2 (39:16):
Oh for sure. I still get messages all the time.
I got one today. I still think about your candy drawer.
I think about when you went to Greece. You guys,
I don't think about that. What do you think about it?
It was so long ago, but I know. I also
think when you're on reality television, people feel like they
really know you, even if they don't. And part of
what I think makes my mom so memorable on television.
(39:38):
Obviously I think she's the best person ever, but it
was real relationships, Like our moms were best friends since
they were teenagers working at the makeup counter at Macy's.
Like you can't fake that kind of dynamic. No.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
I think that's why we also restrained ourselves from speaking
out while we were younger and waiting until we were adults.
I mean I really never spoke out to my family, Yeah,
until I was eighteen on the show.
Speaker 2 (40:08):
Did you get a lot of heat for that?
Speaker 1 (40:09):
Oh my gosh. Yeah, even though I waited until I
was eighteen, And you know, it just came to the
point where I couldn't take it. You know, like I
would be sitting there watching scenarios play out, and I
would think to myself, you're lying. This is not how
(40:30):
it happened. That is not what you did for us.
Speaker 2 (40:35):
This is all a lie.
Speaker 1 (40:37):
And also it's like you're guess lighting everyone to thinking
that you were this amazing person, but you weren't.
Speaker 2 (40:46):
Well good for you, And speaking.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
Of there were certain points where I where I did
and I got called disrespectful. I have no respect of course.
You know, everything that you could think of the way
you talk to your uncle is shameful everything. But it's
(41:10):
really difficult when it's your life and it's your family
and you have so much anger and.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
You feel suffocated. Yes, like I feel suffocated for so long.
Speaker 1 (41:21):
That is the perfect word, because you're trying to release
your truth. But then by doing that, Yes, okay, did
I act irrational or maybe raise my voice or lose
my temper for a second, Yes, but I was frustrated,
I felt suffocated.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
You know. It was a lot.
Speaker 1 (41:45):
And then hearing you say the same thing. You know,
even now you're twenty nine, and I bet the public's
still going to say something about you for.
Speaker 2 (41:54):
Speaking think you're pretty black and white after that character letter,
I have to say, yeah, I really don't get much
of any backlash about speaking up. Yeah, anything I'm saying
is very clear. I try to stay like emotionally detached
from the reality of things, which is why I sat
in that courtroom and understood the facts, and why I
(42:16):
called everybody on the phone when everybody was so uncomfortable.
It's just like, these are the facts. Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (42:26):
Did you go to therapy after all of this?
Speaker 2 (42:29):
I recently spoke to a grief counselor and he told
me that I was emotionally constipated. He was like, there's
all these little things that make up your grief, whether
it's like anger or embarrassment or you know, whatever it
may be. And he's like, you have to break down
all these things into the root of them, of why
(42:49):
you feel these things, and then you won't be constipated anymore.
So I feel like every day I get a little
bit less constipated.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
I want to feel that.
Speaker 2 (42:59):
You just got to break it down, I know.
Speaker 1 (43:02):
So then what is your relationship status?
Speaker 2 (43:04):
Now? I have a boyfriend. I heard he's really nice.
He's so lovely. I'm so grateful for him. Honestly, he's amazing. Yeah,
I love her.
Speaker 1 (43:15):
And did you meet him in La?
Speaker 2 (43:16):
No? I met him in Mexico on vacation. Oh my god. Yeah.
I was there for a birthday, my friend's birthday, and
he was at the table next to meet a bachelor
party and yeah, the rest is history.
Speaker 1 (43:31):
Oh I love that. Where is he about? Is he
in California.
Speaker 2 (43:34):
Area, Texas? So we did long distance the last year
and then he's moving to La next week. He's moving
in with me.
Speaker 1 (43:41):
Oh my god, Lexi, that's so great.
Speaker 2 (43:43):
Oh I feel so old. You know a boyfriend too? Right?
For a while?
Speaker 1 (43:47):
Yeah, for a while. I've been with him for six years.
Speaker 2 (43:50):
You guys live together?
Speaker 1 (43:51):
Not Yeah, I mean I'm still I'm still young.
Speaker 2 (43:54):
But no, I love that time.
Speaker 1 (43:57):
I think we're gonna we're really like discussing it now,
so I want to say, probably with the next year,
talk to me about how it was after college and
you creating your own brand, and tell us about it
because I am obsessed with it. I love everything on
(44:18):
your site and I'm going to be investing in vintage suites.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (44:24):
Yeah, I mean I just I kind of found my
way there very naturally, and I started selling vintage over
covid on Instagram and I started getting all these amazing
clients and people love vintage, so coming back, it's.
Speaker 1 (44:38):
Everything that we used to have, you know, everything is.
Speaker 2 (44:44):
So I've been doing the vintage thing for the last
two or three years. I've had so much success. I
love it. It'll always be so foundational to what I do.
But now I'm trying to move into creating my own shoes.
So I'm coming out with my own shoe next month,
which I I'm so excited for. It's like my ultimate,
biggest dream coming true. My mom still can't even believe it.
(45:06):
She's like, oh my God, Like we're gonna love them. Yeah,
I mean, you know her, she's the craziest shoes. Yeah,
and it's just so funny. I don't know if you
find this, but I used to resist my mom so much,
like I wanted to be the opposite of her.
Speaker 1 (45:23):
And I remember herning to her, I feel like you
were a tomboy.
Speaker 2 (45:27):
Yeah growing up?
Speaker 1 (45:28):
Boy, when at least at least when you were like
little like twelve.
Speaker 2 (45:33):
Oh yeah, I was such a tomboy. And then I
wanted to study like forensic psychology, so I did, and
my mom was like, uh, why do you want to
talk to serial killers? Like that's what I wanted to do.
I just wanted to go so far away from everything
that was New Jersey and my identity there, and then
I slowly have made myself right back. I'm literally my mom,
(45:57):
Like we collect and hord the same things, Like we
literally are the same person. I don't know how I
got here, but I'm here. Do you feel like you're
your mom?
Speaker 1 (46:05):
It's funny because her and I are very similar but
also very different and the way that we think, you know,
I am still I think the more rational one. I
think she's a little more irrational than I am. But
you know, I kind of come to a middle ground,
you know, I try to bring everyone back to a
(46:27):
middle ground, and but I am like her in a
way of you know, I take, I take, I take,
I take, and then I explode. So in the assects
of like our temper, I would say we're the same.
Speaker 2 (46:42):
But it's so funny. I can't imagine that from you.
Speaker 1 (46:45):
I it's only when I take, I take, I take.
You know, it takes me a while to get annoyed,
but then when I get annoyed, I snap. I think
it's a Jersey thing on that Jersey Italian temper. Like,
And it was also just okay back then. Now, like
if you like had a fight with your homegirl on
(47:06):
the street, like it is what it was, it wasn't
a big deal. No cops were being called, and like
you could take it outside. Now it's just everything's taken
to a whole nother extreme where you really do need
to reserve yourself and not be like that control exactly
self control.
Speaker 2 (47:25):
Our generation has more of it, for sure. Definitely we're
just mirrors of our moms in different ways. It's so interesting.
Speaker 1 (47:32):
Would you ever put your family or kids on reality TV?
Speaker 2 (47:38):
No? Would you?
Speaker 1 (47:41):
I think that's kind of where I'm going.
Speaker 2 (47:43):
Yeah, yeah, well, you know what you're doing at least.
Speaker 1 (47:48):
Yeah, okay, this is where like I would differ. I think,
you know, because I just my show is premiering.
Speaker 2 (47:56):
On Jerry exciting next Jed, and why I still wait
to watch it? Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 1 (48:01):
I'm so excited, more so just because I'm actually getting
away from my family drama.
Speaker 2 (48:07):
I'm making your own drama.
Speaker 1 (48:08):
Yes, yes, exactly. But you know a lot of people
ask me this, but I I feel like doing this
on my own. I'm stepping into my own I'm creating
my own vision path, you know, identity for myself. That
(48:29):
this is what I want everybody to actually see, the
person that I want everyone to get to know that.
Speaker 2 (48:36):
I I really am excited for it.
Speaker 1 (48:40):
And you know, Housewives, I was never excited for it because,
you know, once I got older and to where to
the point where I really got to understand everything it
was always just negative and about my family and about
my personal life that it honestly came to the point
where it was really an knowing to even discuss anymore
(49:02):
so going onto this show, nobody gives that my mom
and uncle don't talk like.
Speaker 2 (49:10):
Is theres a lot of drama on this show.
Speaker 1 (49:13):
Honestly, you don't have to wait and see. But it's
not like too much. But it's also not like toxic
in any way. It's like playful, normal friend drama.
Speaker 2 (49:25):
It's so amazing seeing you step into your own and like,
it's still crazy to me that a woman what you do.
Speaker 1 (49:35):
I mean, you're by like completely established now doing what
you love. Found your passion, which you know that's all
you can hope because it really does take people so
long to find that too.
Speaker 2 (49:45):
Yeah, I feel very lucky. Yeah, I really do.
Speaker 1 (49:48):
And what did you do after college?
Speaker 2 (49:50):
Book? So you like, we lived to California, which is
the best thing I've ever done. Do you love it
out there? I really do? Yeah.
Speaker 1 (49:59):
Do you ever go back and watch The Real Housewives
at all? From like the early days?
Speaker 2 (50:06):
No? No. When I knew I was gonna be with
my boyfriend, I was like, Okay, I have to show
you something. He doesn't care about that stuff at all,
but I was like, I just want to be the
person that shows you what I used to look like
and act like that was such an embarrassment.
Speaker 1 (50:20):
Oh you weren't my god, you were nerdy.
Speaker 2 (50:24):
The things that I said and did, I just yeah,
I showed him recently and then I went back on
the footage to also look at the footage of my
mom's closet and was looking at all the shoes that
she had. It kills me that I don't have them.
But I collect so many of the shoes that she had,
like subconsciously, like through doing vintage. It's like those shoes
(50:45):
are somewhere in my subconscious and then I like buy
them and she's like I had those. I'm like, what,
it's crazy, It's so.
Speaker 1 (50:52):
Crazy real if you had that shoe collection.
Speaker 2 (50:55):
Wow, the things I would do were the same size too.
It's like really a sin.
Speaker 1 (51:01):
And you obviously none of the shoes ever.
Speaker 2 (51:04):
No, nothing ever, nothing everything.
Speaker 1 (51:06):
I mean, you know, thank God your mom, you know,
found happiness and everything is replaceable.
Speaker 2 (51:13):
Very lucky, We're very blessed. It's the irreplaceable things, though,
that keep her an eye up at night, like the
nightgown that she gave birth to me, and that my
grandma gave birth to her in.
Speaker 1 (51:23):
Like what all the baby photos? None, but they were
all in that house.
Speaker 2 (51:30):
Yeah, my mom used to scrap book my entire life.
It was all in that house.
Speaker 1 (51:36):
See, Like that's so weird to me that he would
want to keep shit like that, like I just I don't.
Speaker 2 (51:41):
My aunt that works at the Brownstone around the time
that Tommy went away overheard somebody saying that somebody's pictures
were in the garbage at the Brownstone, and she went
and it was like two boxes of my baby pictures
that I guess were being kept at the Brownstone in storage,
and so so kindly they pulled it out of the
(52:04):
garbage for me and they gave it to my dad.
So that's all I have. It's about like a box
and a half of photos from you know, like two
years old and before. It's all I have. I just
went through them this weekend. Actually it was so emotional
for me because I'm like, this is I'm so grateful
to have these, but somebody threw this in the garbage.
Speaker 1 (52:25):
Yeah, like and from the bike from the room, so beatful,
just crazy, and.
Speaker 2 (52:30):
I was supposed to kiss everyone's ascid. They went in
the garbage and took it out for me, like as
you should. I would do that for a stranger. Yeah,
it's the least you could have my mom's wedding dress
in there too, So I got that, which I'm so
excited about. So I want to like change it into something.
Oh my god, yea, yeah that was in the box.
Oh yeah, it was my mom's wedding dress. It was
(52:53):
there was a scrap book in there of my mom's childhood.
We had no idea that was going to be in there,
and we were so happy and like my christening and
stuff like that.
Speaker 1 (53:02):
If you had to come up with a housewife tagline,
what would yours be?
Speaker 2 (53:08):
What was my mom's? If you think I'm a bring
it wasn't that hers? No, so much would be like,
I am a bring it.
Speaker 1 (53:16):
On, wait, I love that. My favorite line that she
ever said was with like the whole Danielle stop thing,
if you want to skin me and wear me? Like yeah,
my favorite line, like how she came up with that,
nod knows.
Speaker 2 (53:35):
My high school yearbook quote was either love me or
hate me. There's no in between with me, which is
daniel stop school. She was so angry about it. I'm like,
it's funny.
Speaker 1 (53:47):
I was literally gonna sageway.
Speaker 2 (53:49):
That sounds so.
Speaker 1 (53:52):
Mine would be you think you've raised me on reality TV,
but I'm writing my own script.
Speaker 2 (53:58):
Oh that's very artful. That was poetic.
Speaker 1 (54:03):
Took some thought.
Speaker 2 (54:04):
You own your own vintage, brand new.
Speaker 1 (54:06):
I'm going to ask you some questions and I want
you to give some styling tips to the girls. Okay,
all right, which celeb closet would you love to steal.
Speaker 2 (54:17):
From the Alsen Twins? Obviously?
Speaker 1 (54:20):
What's one trend that you refuse to try?
Speaker 2 (54:22):
I said this recently too. I don't I don't understand
the whole butter yellow thing. Everyone's wearing butter yellow, butter yellow,
and it, like, I don't know, it draws out my skin.
I feel like it's like we're gonna look back and
be like, why were we wearing butter yellow?
Speaker 1 (54:35):
LA or New York Fashion?
Speaker 2 (54:37):
Oh, New York for sure.
Speaker 1 (54:39):
If you had only twenty minutes to get ready, what's
your go to look?
Speaker 2 (54:43):
Jean's a T shirt, vintage pair of heels, Go to brands.
I'm not really a brand whore, Honestly, I'm not really
big into like designer handbags and that kind of thing.
I love Luava, but now J. W Anderson's leaving, so
I don't know if it'll be the same.
Speaker 1 (55:02):
And Chanel, if you could only buy one designer bag,
what are you.
Speaker 2 (55:06):
Picking lay the little pouch bag?
Speaker 1 (55:11):
Okay, Lexi, this was such an amazing episode, and thank
you so much for being so open and sharing your story.
Speaker 2 (55:18):
It is so nice to see you.
Speaker 1 (55:19):
I hope you feel good and I hope this made
you feel like you're really speaking to your truth.
Speaker 2 (55:23):
Thank you. I'm so proud of you. I love you.
I'm so proud of you. I love you.
Hey guys, Welcome back to another episode of Casual Chaos.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
This week.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
I have a guest that some of you might recognize
from the early days of The Real House Ives in
New Jersey, LEXI you wan to welcome to Casual Chaos.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Yeah, it's so nice to see you.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
It's so nice to see you. I'm like so giddy
right now.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
No, it's been so long. I can't even pinpoint how
long it's been.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
I know, I mean, we'll dive into all of it,
but I was really trying to remember when the last
time was. And I don't even know if you were
at Audrianna's communion.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
I wasn't, so then I really don't know. I don't
know either.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
I mean, my last memories were, you know, obviously running
around the brown Stone, Jacqueline's house, Caroline's house, your mom's house,
obviously your old house, running through your mom's closet, just yeah,
little things like this, yes, and then walking in and
animals everywhere there the little chihuahua what was what was
(01:02):
his name?
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Crazy? The one with other arms?
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Oh crazy, Yes, that was your mom's baby. But I
have random memories of all of this stuff. But I
don't know when the last time was I really don't.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Loveably ten years ago, which is so crazy because it
doesn't feel like that.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
I've been back and forth to California. I've seen your
mom and Dave, but I've just never seen you.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
The timing has always been always off. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Well, now you're in New York. How does it feel
coming back to Jersey? Do you ever get anxiety about it?
Speaker 2 (01:33):
I get so much anxiety about it. I really try
to avoid it at all costs, honestly. But I was
just there to see my dad and my whole Greek's
out of the family.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
How is your relationship with your dad now?
Speaker 2 (01:45):
He's the best dad? Yeah? He's always been the best dad,
the most consistent and normal and all of the chaos
of how we were raised, my dad was like my
normal sounding boy. So he's great.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Because when we were younger, did your dad not want
you to doing the show?
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (02:01):
I have random memories. This is where it's coming back
to me. But I'm having such random memories of everything
from when we were little.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
You were so little. But the first season, I don't
think anybody knew what it was going to be or
what we were getting ourselves into. And once it kind
of came out and it was as big as it was.
My dad was like, and my mom, we need to
pull Lexi out of this because I was just struggling
so much in school. I was twelve when the first
season aired, and I was so nerdy, so unfortunate looking.
(02:31):
It was like in the ultimate you know, awkward phase.
And it's like aired on national television, which luckily you
were able to see it coming because you were like
so little. Very few people can say that they went
through what we did with their awkward faces being displayed
for the whole time, you know, world to have an
opinion on it.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
It's definitely a crazy experience. But I remember you didn't
have an easy time in school. No, I had to
leave my school.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
It was this whole thing. I was basically like tortured
over it. Like it wasn't regarded as a cool thing.
It isolated me. Did you feel that way too? Honestly?
Speaker 1 (03:07):
And I feel like this stereotype kind of lives in
Jersey a little bit about the different counties for sure,
But in Morris County we look at Bergen County as, oh,
these are where the rich kids live. You know, everyone's
got it together in this County. And that's just how
people in Morris County see it. Not that the people
in Morris County. You know, people obviously have money in
(03:29):
Morris County, but people don't view that county as that definitely,
so yes, a status thing, one hundred percent. You know, Oh,
there's nice houses in Bergen County, really nice areas.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Stuff like that in Lakes has such a connotation to
it now too.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
I remember they would go get their hair done at
the Cocoa Chateau.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Yeah, chateau. That's where it all started.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
That's where it all started. When I was growing up,
I might have had I think one person really stuck
with bullying me. I guess you could say it was bullying,
but just kind of comments throughout the years. When I
was in elementary school, middle school, high school, it was
the same person that constantly tortured me, and I.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Was like, what is wrong she? Now, I would love
to know it was a guy. What is a boy?
I'm so unexpected right, Usually the girls are the mean
one I know.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
But I have to say I was fortunate enough that
people really didn't bother me in Moville. They really didn't.
And even when I got to Rutgers. It was more
so fans coming up to me, and so I really
didn't receive the hate.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
I think it was a timing thing. I went into
it at that age, like you were so little when
it all started, and then it kind of evolved and
it became something cool. But in the beginning, there were
so many women in New Jersey that were so envious
of our moms and wish that they got that attention
and that opportunity. It was just a perfect storm of
bad timing and that's why my mom left.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
So she left right after season two, and she, I
think felt like this wasn't for her when it was happening,
and as much as she had my mom stick up
for her, literally filip a table for her, I think
it was just very overwhelming. But I think there was
(05:21):
also so many other components to it too. You know,
it was affecting you a lot, but then I think
it was also getting in the way of her relationship
with Caroline and Jacqueline created such a mess, such a mess.
Do you feel like everything that is transpired to present
day Do you feel like if the show was never
a thing, that everything would have happened.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
You know, family dynamics are complicated. You understand that too.
The personalities are so different. I think it's a shame
because we had such a large and amazing family, and
for my grandparents, I wish that they got to see unity.
We are so different. Yeah, we're just so different. Yeah.
I really don't see a lot of common ground between
us and the rest of the family.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Your mom also came back season six, Yes, for one year.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
The only reason she went back is because her family
left and she was going through the divorce. I was
about to go to college, and she's like, this is
a job. Do you want to go to college? It
doesn't pay for itself. We got to do it, and
I was totally open to it at that point. That
season was so boring.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
You know, that was the worst season in Jersey Sty
So boring. Yeah, no, that one was bad, But you
know what, the season was boring because everyone kind of
got along and the people that were fighting were around
care No.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
One cared about it exactly.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
So they wanted you know, your mom to be fighting
with Caroline and Jacqueline. They wanted my mom and her
brother to rip each other's heads off.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
That's what they want want to decided to have boundaries
with their family that.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Year, I know why, I think was normal, Literally everything
was normal for a hot seck. I mean, you were
so close with I remember when we were younger, you know,
I'll be Lauren, Chris and I mean they were the
ones that were closest to age with you. Yeah, I
(07:11):
lived with them, if you remember, my mom and I
lived with Caroline when my parents got divorced. They were
basically my siblings.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
I'm an only child. Yeah, so it was definitely a
massive loss to lose those relationships, and the crossfire of
what happened with our moms hard.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
They initially stopped talking. Was it when your mom and
Tommy got divorced? Oh no, No, it was way before,
way before, and then I truly can't even tie it
down to one reason. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
The show creates a lot of chaos, yeah, especially with
family dynamics and money and fame, and it can kind
of have the ability to bring out the worst in
some people sometimes too.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
It does, especially like you said, when there's money involved.
As sad as it is, it's a competition exactly so,
because there's a show involved and then the money's involved,
essentially competing against your family members to try to get
to the top. It shouldn't be like that, and as
a family, build an empire, grow as a family together,
create a unit. I always, you know, wish that for
(08:13):
my mom as well. I said to her, if your
brother didn't come on the show behind your back and
want what you had so badly and just asked you, hi, Tree,
I think I want to join the show, my mom
would have said, all right, Joey, let's do this together.
We'll build this empire as a family, make our parents proud,
(08:36):
and show America what an Italian family really is exactly.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
But it's the most national job, like in the entire world.
It's hard to just look at it as that as
an opportunity, as a job. It's like all these emotions
get involved. Yeah, my mom fell out with hers during
that second season. I'm pretty sure that's when it really
all became.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Yeah, you were young when my mom flipped the table.
I remember you had you were still young, You're still little,
so you were living with them when you were little.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
I was living with them from ages like four to seven.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
So that's why you were saying they were like, really
did raise you?
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Yeah, I mean, Lauren was there when I shaved my
legs for the first time. She dropped me off at
a boy's house for the first time for my first kiss.
You know, all being Christopher, where my brother is my
protectors and now we're complete strangers.
Speaker 1 (09:32):
Yeah, you don't talk to any of them at all.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
I reefed out to them after Tommy went to jail
because I was looking for help getting my things back
from the house because he left for jail, and then
I had an understanding that he kept everything of mine
all those years, so I wanted it back. It was
really difficult for me to extend myself and to ask
for help, but I was that desperate, Like I just
wanted them.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
You wanted your heirlooms back, You wanted the things that
like you said when I've read your entry, when you
don't poke the bear, I almost started crying just because
it brought back just so many memories, and it also
just brought back how I remember our moms on the
phone just saying my closet's there, I have everything's there.
(10:18):
He literally left me with nothing, and reading your entry
and saying how you even had thirty minutes to get
your things? That was no right to you. No, this
wasn't your fault that they were separating. It was almost
like a dominance thing, like get out of my house,
but you're left with nothing to make you feel so
(10:42):
alone and helpless in a way.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
Yeah, and then he held on to my things for
you know, ten years and used them as a collateral. Yeah,
because he had this also, this like weird obsession with
me for years. People would tell me that he kept
my room exactly the same because he thought I was
going to come back, Like I can't even begin to
(11:06):
understand why you would think I would ever come back there.
But let's have those things weird towards you when you
were younger. He never had children of his own, and
I was the closest thing he had to it, so.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
He really never uncomfortable though.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
No, he was never inappropriate, but he definitely was very affectionate,
and that was something I was very uncomfortable with because
neither of my parents are that way, So to receive
it from a stepfather is kind of like extra strange
when you don't receive it from your actual father. My
dad's very lovey, dovey, kissy, huggy. Yeah, and you know,
(11:46):
I was told to pay him that kind of affection
out of respect. Therefore, I felt like our relationship was
very uncomfortable for me.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Yeah, I don't know if you remember how he was,
but he just like I honestly remember him not being
that present.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Yeah, he was never around.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
I always remember whenever we were at the Brownstone, we
would run into the office, you know, just like kind
of like go through the outskirts of the Brownstone and
run around and cause havoc because we could, and because
we were so close with everyone and it didn't matter.
But I always just remember him sitting at that desk
at the Brownstone. I really don't have vivid memories of
(12:25):
any of that.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
That's usually where he was, so it makes sense. Yeah,
he's an interesting character. And the way their divorce played
out and everything afterwards really is still, you know, a
shock to both My mom and I were just like,
how did this become reality?
Speaker 1 (12:40):
But he clearly had and your right, obsession is the
right word, because then to make those events actually take
place and orchest straight something like that, you're sick.
Speaker 2 (12:52):
Yeah. I went to the the trial last year and
I sat there for a week and I listened to
everybody test FI and did that give you clarity? Yeah?
I mean my Mom and I are so different like that,
Like she couldn't even stomach like being there for like
thirty minutes every day, all day for seven days, and
like I needed to know everything. And the word that
(13:14):
came up a lot was obsessive. Definitely, there was some
kind of obsessive disorder going on there with the fact
that he lost his family quote unquote my mom and
I and he just lost control.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
And he thought that money and power could fix everything.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
And honestly, some of the things he has done have
been the most painful things I've ever had to face
in my life. See my mom go through, see Dave
go through. It's been it's been completely unfair. Nobody deserves
any of that. But for me, the hardest thing to
overcome was him keeping my things and then eventually having
(13:54):
people discard of them. It's like, so hateful.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
What happened when you reached out to them about so.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
I reached out to them, And you know, it's so
funny because I wrote that don't poke the Bear article
and that was massive for me because I was silent
for ten years. I never spoke out on anything.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
I never spoke out about anything, never, And that will
get into like even how you came here today and
you know your comfortability level and how much you've grown.
Because I was so surprised.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
I never spoke out on anyone on anything, on any conflict.
I always was like Switzerland, and part of me is
like hesitant to even get into me reaching out to
them for help. And then I'm like, why why should
I hold back on like my truth? Yeah, And the
truth was, like I reached out to them for help.
I'm sure if you ask them, they did everything to
(14:55):
their best ability, but if you ask me, it wasn't
nearly enough. They disappointed me. Again, That's what I mean.
We're so different. I left off with them very open ended.
I was talking to them every day, asking for updates,
looking for help, looking for connections who had access to
the house. You know, there was a garage sale that
(15:16):
they had told me about, and they went to the
garage sale to look for my things, which you know
that was good on them, but still, Albi told you
about the garage sale that was now Lauren texted me.
I was in the middle of like a video interview
for my business and she texted me, there's a garage sale.
I heard some of your things are there. I was like, well,
are you gonna go? Yeah, and she's like, oh, I'm
(15:37):
going to send some of my friends and I called her.
I was like, no, you're gonna go, and you're gonna
go right now, because like at that point, the sale
was almost over. It had been going on all day long.
Lauren and Caroline went, one of my mom's friends went.
I had my dad go and take pictures, and I
saw things like, you know, the dollhouse that my grandmother
made me that was in my room growing up. These
are like irreplaceable heirlooms that have no value to anyone else,
(16:01):
you know, like my mom's insane shoe collection in her
designer bags. Those things are long gone. We accepted that,
but that wasn't what I was looking for. I was
looking for a piece of myself to have back. And
people were just protecting, you know, the things in that house,
protecting Tommy. And I asked Caroline and Lauren for help,
(16:24):
and I think they were only willing to do what
they were comfortable doing. I would ask them to make
phone calls to people and they wouldn't make them.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
So they clearly have some sort of a fear too,
or they just don't care. And it's just pure selfishness.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
I like to think they care. They're my family, but
I think we care about themselves more and keeping their
own peace more than fighting for mine. So it's okay.
I needed a reminder who I was dealing with because
(17:01):
as a kid, I saw my mom going through so
much pain with her family, and I guess I had
to understand what it felt like as an adult.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
And I feel like, you know, our parents can only
remind us so much of what they went through and
how it hurt them, but we're not going to realize
it until they do it to us. Yeah, we have
to have our own experiences, our own opinions, and I
definitely have my own. Did your dad see who was there?
Speaker 2 (17:28):
Like?
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Could he go into the house or was there security?
Speaker 2 (17:31):
I know everything about the woman that had this garage sale,
and I know she's one of taught me these people.
And I called her when she was having this sale
and I told her she was selling illegal goods. I mean,
I lost my mind. I've lost my mind. Yeah, Like,
I'm a very even balanced person and I very rarely
(17:53):
get to the point of extreme anger. But we all
have a little bit of Teresa table Flipp and I
definitely lost it on that woman.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Yeah, I mean, as you should again, you know, I
mean even everything from when you were little, like your jewelry.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
Everything's gone, just all of that. Everything. Yeah, that would
tear me apart, everything, you know, I mean everything.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
I was even going through random things the other day,
and it's crazy, like you know what up, but God
like sends you to like go through things for a reason.
And I had this old Mac makeup case, one of
those really old, like indestructible Mac makeup cases, and I
was about to, you know, give it to my cleaning lady,
(18:39):
like here, take it. I mean, I don't need it anymore.
It was just like collecting dust. And I opened it
and I guess when I was little, that's where I
stored all my baby jewelry. So I found all my
bracelets and literally the Ladybug bracelet your mom gave me
was in there. Everything. And I was about to just
(19:01):
give that to my cleaning lid.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Oh my gosh, thank God, but.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
That would have killed me, you know, to like one
day know that those were gone and wonder where they were.
But I mean for him to want to keep all
of that, he.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
Kept it with so much intention. To have something to
hold over me. The week before he went away, he
called me and I didn't pick up because I had
a restraining order. But you know that the FBI put
in place, So he called me, and I was like
frozen into fear, like, oh my god, I can't believe
(19:42):
he would call me, like he's about to go to prison.
I know everything he's done and how he did it,
and I think he was probably calling about the things
because he knew that that was the only reason that
I would consider picking up. And I look back, and
I do wish I picked up, because now I have
the perspective of, like, I dare you to call me.
(20:02):
I'm so angry, like truly, and I've had to process
so much of that anger, mourn the fact that those
things were there and they're definitely gone.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Now that sucks because you believe that he was really
just intentionally trying to just hurt you.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
I mean, he kept those things from me. The last
time I spoke to him was probably, you know, right
before the incident that happened with my mom, and I
asked him I had a new boyfriend, and he was like,
I want to meet him, And I said, when you
give me my things back, like he was still holding
them against me. I mean this was right before the
(20:44):
incident with my mom, the home invasion.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
You still kind of spoke to him or try to
keep a relationship with him after the divorce.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
I knew that he was begging to have a relationship
with me, and he was manipulating me. Yeah, I look back,
it was just pure manipulation and I felt so torn
on what to do. But I knew that he was
not a good man, and I knew he wasn't good
by my mom. You know, we had a feeling that
(21:24):
he had, you know, done some terrible things, but we
didn't have proof of it, and he put me in
a very terrible position for a very long time.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
Done going into when the character letters were being written,
was that during trial.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
No, there were character witness letters submitted to the judge
on behalf of Tommy to help kind of persuade the
judges of NYA of his character. There was, Yeah, there
was like tens of character letters from mayors, New Jersey
(22:00):
police officers, my family members, my mom's friends. Like I mentioned,
Dolores wrote one. I mean they're not friends anymore, but
they were like best friends. Me and Gabby were best
friends growing up. My mom, Dolores, your mom, They're all
were very close. So it's like layers of pain for sure,
to feel like people had his back in such a
(22:22):
formal way too, to do that. Yeah, But also, you know,
the facts are the facts.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
Seeing what he was capable of and what actually happened
and the outcome of his actions should have just solidified
all the answers. So he must have had a very
persuasive way of treating people, or some sort of power
over people.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
The fact that you know, people of authority were even
writing character witness letters for him.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
I'm sure that was their truth if they felt like
they would write a letter. I don't think he like
was making anybody do anything. It's when people really believed.
I think a lot of people believe differently now that
there's a guilty verdict, there's still certainly a lot of
people that believe in him and believe he's innocent. I
just think the whole thing is just so interesting, yeah, honestly.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
And I mean the whole thing also impacted your family
so heavily. I mean, I remember your mom and Dave
came for Audrianna's communion. It was that whole day was
weird because they obviously wanted to be there so badly
for Audriana. And you know, Dina is the best god
mom ever. She still texts Audriana and you know, just
(23:43):
loves her the little gifts that she always sent her
when she was little. But it was out of pure
fear of coming back to New Jersey after leaving Tommy,
I mean, even for Audrianna's communion, and your mom really
didn't want to come, and the fact that she came
was a big step and we all knew that, and
(24:05):
your mom and Dave basically stayed with us all day
and all night.
Speaker 2 (24:09):
They came back to my house.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
Like you know, some of my family members, friends, We
were all just hanging out pretty late. But then they
had a head down south a little bit. They had
like an hour drive.
Speaker 2 (24:22):
The next day, it was Mother's Day and they were
coming into the city. It's when I was living in
the city and they were supposed to come see me
for Mother's Day.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
It was like, it was weird, and it was almost
like they wanted to stay with us as long as
possible to kind of protect them in a way, you know,
just feel safe. I know when I'm around people, I
feel safer. I just like being in the company of people.
You also have a million sisters, I know, no, I know,
I just I hate being alone. But it was almost
(24:52):
like they really did. Obviously they were probably enjoying the day.
We were having a great time, but they really stayed late,
you know, until they had to go home, and it
was like, we get that call. I remember my mom
was like hysterically crying on the floor, like she was
like so upset. And it was weird because I remember
even Dave saying he had such an expensive watch on.
(25:14):
They didn't take his watch. They didn't take anything. They
didn't take any of their belongings. The only thing they
took was your mom's beautiful engagement ring that she was
literally showing me that day. It was the moon and
the star, right, and she was so happy about it
because you know, she's so into the holistic approach and spiritual.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
It was a beautiful ring and he puts so much
effort into it.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
And I remember that was the only thing they took.
So it was a crime with intent. Yeah, it was
went in there to get something, So it wasn't like, oh, Okay,
we're going to rob them because we know they have this,
this and that, and we're trying to make a quick buck.
Like no, they went for the ring, and they left
(26:00):
anybody else hearing that. How could you think any differently?
Your whole article about don't poke the bear, it really
is true, you are the bear, and that whole thing
was just such a moving message if you want to,
you know, explain to people how you are the bear
and how it's just fear.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
I lived in fear for so long, and I was
silenced by my fear by upsetting anyone in my family,
by angering him and provoking him to do something, and
lived in that fear until really recently, once I sat
in the courtroom and I understood that I was the bear.
He was the one, you know, about to go away
(26:42):
for the things he did. My family were the ones
that were embarrassed by the things that they did, And
why should I fear them? They should fear me. I mean,
the things that I've come out and I've said in
that letter, like things i've said today in the podcast.
They might feel like big things to say, but I
could go on for what I could say about all
(27:02):
these people, and I still don't you still like to have.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
Respect ultimately though, you're just speaking your truth, and you're
also speaking about your belongings exactly. You weren't asking them
to do anything astronomical. You were simply asking them, can
you please help me get my things back? And that
was the only time that you ever contacted them.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
In years and so long. There's just layers to the pain.
I didn't even want to get into the betrayal that
I had dealt with from them. I just said, this
is a way for us to repair what's so broken.
If you can show me that you love me and
help me with something that's breaking me that I know
that you can help me with, then we can repair
(27:50):
something like that was kind of the perspective, like, I
don't think my mom and her sister can never repair
what's broken. It's too far gone. But why can't the cousins.
I would love to know them and know their children
and be in their lives like that. It pains me,
But the reality is like from my eyes, they failed me,
(28:12):
and they failed me again.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
And this is when you really needed them.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
Listen.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
So much turmoil can pass and so much hurt could
be done, but the fact that you went back to
them and asked for one thing after they already caused
all this pain and after all these on my.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Knees begging for help. No, literally, I'm in California. I
need somebody that can go to that door, knock on
the door, call the right person, ask for help. Like
I know, the things are there, and it's a ticking
time bomb until they're not. Because now he's in prison,
other people are in charge of what's going on in
that house.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
And I was right.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Weeks went by, weeks, weeks, weeks, weeks, weeks, weeks, No,
nothing of importance was done. No.
Speaker 1 (29:03):
So then I mean, at that point, what other choice
do they leave you to feel?
Speaker 2 (29:09):
Yeah? I also I just stopped hearing from them.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
It's like they just didn't even care all along. They
wanted to show you maybe that they cared a little
bit by telling you that there was a garage sale.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
Yeah, And it was just so much back and forth.
I was talking to them every day for hours a day,
and I had some really awesome conversations with my cousin.
And you know, I love her, I really do. She's
the closest thing I'll ever have in this lifetime to
his sister. And I think it kills both of us
that we don't have each other anymore. But it just
(29:47):
it just can't like there's too much pain. Now I'm
even in more pain.
Speaker 1 (29:52):
So very similar to my mom and her brother and
my cousins, how you are with aside from the situation
with Tommy, the forming of distance from your family. We
discussed it, you know. It's the jealousy, the hurt, the competition,
the money, everything that falls into play. But because this
show really sometimes could create such a toxic and turmoil
(30:16):
environment for families, it's really hard for the cousins to
stay close.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
It's unfair.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
It's so unfair when your parents are at war with
each other. Quite honestly, it's so hard to bring the
kids together. I really think a lot of it has
to do with the show, because you know, my parents
aren't together, but we still.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Are so close.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
With my dad's side, I'm close with every single one
of my cousins. Everything is how it should be. That's
even though my parents aren't together. We never let it
affect But I guess it's kind of you got to
give it to the adults a little bit too, for
allowing you know, the children to be together.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
You know, always let me have an open door to
my cousins, and she wanted me to have a relationship
to them. You know, I'm sure my aunt Caroline wanted
them to have a relationship with me too, But it's
just like the politics of it all. At the end,
it's just my mom and I. I don't have siblings.
She's been in these relationships that have been difficult, and
it's always just been me and her. She had me
(31:26):
really young, and at the end of the day, like
I will always stand behind her no matter what. Yeah,
and it's hard for me to watch her be in
so much pain. It's really hard.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
I guess you're right, you know, it really is the
politics of it all, because it is difficult. Every situation
is different, but ours is very similar in that aspect.
And I mean, I don't know my mom always you know,
we've reached out to my cousins, were quite for years,
you know, always wishing them a happy birthday and things
like that, but you know, we stop receiving that in return,
(32:02):
so then it's almost like why continue if you're not
receiving the same thing in return, and then it kind
of fades out.
Speaker 2 (32:11):
It's sad, exactly. Yeah, I'm at peace with those relationships.
When I think about it doesn't make me sad. Yeah,
but I've made peace with that a long time ago.
But it's the betrayal sometimes it just makes me really angry. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
We're also taught at a very young age famili's everything
you do, everything for your family. You know, you're as
thick as thief. Literally, you know all the lines that
they would say back in the day, and it's where
did all that go? It's so funny how it all
just honestly goes out the door ultimately. Literally, Bye, you
(32:54):
went to NYU, did you not? I went to Fordham
and then your experience when you got into college is
a lot.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
Yeah. I found myself. I needed to live in New
York and be alone. And that's when my mom met
Dave and she was going off and doing, you know,
finding her own happiness. I was finding mine.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
And I'm so happy your mama is Dave. Yeah, he's
so great, and she found her happiness. I feel she's
so happy where she is. I feel like she's just
so at peace.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
Yeah. I can't imagine her anywhere else.
Speaker 1 (33:23):
I mean, I feel like her in herself is out.
Even everything that she posts I'm like, I need this ze.
Speaker 2 (33:28):
She in my life. So funny too. She has no
idea how funny she is, but she's so funny.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
I mean, I feel like always she's always just been
so funny.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
Yeah, she's a character.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
Now.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
I'm so happy for her. She's thriving where she is.
She has a community that's aligned with what she loves,
and I love where she lives. We're close enough to
each other that you know, we can see each other,
but we're not up each other's We were always way
too codependent, so it was good to kind of break
apart from it.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
I remember she would call you twenty four seven, you guys, but.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
Again it was always you guys, exactly so, and she
watching me go through trying to get these things back,
she was like, Lexi, I I healed from this a
long time ago. I accepted my things were gone a
long time ago. But now watching you go through it,
it's such an insane experience for her because I'm basically
(34:25):
reliving what she dealt with ten years ago. But I
was just too young to understand like the levels to
it all. And she said to me, and it was
like so meaningful that she said this. She said The
most healing thing that I've ever done is watch you
stand into your power, like when I wrote that letter
and when I started just speaking out on my.
Speaker 1 (34:46):
Truth and what made you really get to this point?
Speaker 2 (34:49):
And was it?
Speaker 1 (34:50):
I guess you know, once you knew he was really gone,
I'm sure that your closure in a way.
Speaker 2 (34:56):
Yeah, sitting and watching that trial, seeing him, you know,
stand there, and I sat in on everything all like
the zoom hearings, everything those public no victims could sit
into them, and I sat into everything I saw. I
saw everything just so I could kind of understand, like
this is reality. And then I think I kind of
(35:21):
just realized, like what am I afraid of? It still
feels uncomfortable, Like I feel uncomfortable talking about the situation
I had with Caroline and Lauren recently. But why it's
like my truth, it's my experience, Like, Okay, they're gonna
get upset, it's.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
Also your life and you've been hurt by this time exactly.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
I've been upset and nobody called me for years, for years,
even after the trial, the truth of everything. Nobody called me. Yeah,
see that's crazy, I called them.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
I feel like if I were to hear something so
devastating that involved, you know, my cousin's parents, but obviously
I knew they were hurting my cousins. I would at
least reach out to my cousins. Yeah, because the the
kids don't have anything to do with this. This wasn't
your fault, this wasn't your doing, but you had to
(36:16):
deal with the repercussion.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
She was just caught in the crossfire of all of it. Also,
like the chaos of what happened with Tommy and the obsession,
Like I had to deal with all that on my own.
Like nobody in my family ever extended any comfort to me,
and they all knew the things that were coming to light,
and they all were still around him. I had family
(36:38):
members that still worked for him.
Speaker 1 (36:40):
Said Cookie right, and don't poke the bear. Cookie was
just Cookie right. She never married her her kids.
Speaker 2 (36:48):
She's remarried, and she I have a cousin, but you
guys were very close. Yeah, she lived with us for
a while. Yeah, she was like second mother to me.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
For sure, and she never reached out either.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
Listen, people meet you where they're at. And I've had
to accept that people might have not showed up for
me in the ways that I needed to because they
simply didn't have the tools and they couldn't and they
have their own things that they need to deal with
and come to terms with. And I think everybody just
(37:23):
met me where they were at.
Speaker 1 (37:25):
Yeah, I mean I think also maybe it was embarrassment.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
I don't know what it was. It's for them to
all figure out. Yeah, I gave up a long time
trying to understand why people did the things they did.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
And you know, at that point, though, it's almost like
they made their bed and now they have to lay
in it. Maybe, you know, as you said, Caroline regrets
writing the character like sure, she told me, Yeah, I'm sure,
but you did it exactly. Everybody has to go to
sleep in their own bed at the end of the
night that they made. So that's that's their life.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
Overall.
Speaker 1 (38:08):
You guys have all come such a long way, and
I'm so happy that you're finally at peace and you
finally have found happiness, because you really are glowing. You
look so happy, and I feel like this is your
way of kind of just releasing everything that you've been feeling.
You've been silent for so long, and I feel like
(38:30):
a big part of why I've been there, you've been
there restricting ourselves from speaking out while we're younger, and
you know, waiting until we're in our adulthood is because
we're so nervous for what the public is going to
say about us. And your mom was really only on
(38:51):
Housewives for three years, but she made her mark. She
still talked about your family drama is still talked about.
Speaker 2 (38:57):
And it's so.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
Crazy because you know, the twins and Amber, we're on
for a hot minute and nobody talks about them. But
your mom really left her mark, So we are still
viewed as children to the public eye.
Speaker 2 (39:16):
Oh for sure. I still get messages all the time.
I got one today. I still think about your candy drawer.
I think about when you went to Greece. You guys,
I don't think about that. What do you think about it?
It was so long ago, but I know. I also
think when you're on reality television, people feel like they
really know you, even if they don't. And part of
what I think makes my mom so memorable on television.
(39:38):
Obviously I think she's the best person ever, but it
was real relationships, Like our moms were best friends since
they were teenagers working at the makeup counter at Macy's.
Like you can't fake that kind of dynamic. No.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
I think that's why we also restrained ourselves from speaking
out while we were younger and waiting until we were adults.
I mean I really never spoke out to my family, Yeah,
until I was eighteen on the show.
Speaker 2 (40:08):
Did you get a lot of heat for that?
Speaker 1 (40:09):
Oh my gosh. Yeah, even though I waited until I
was eighteen, And you know, it just came to the
point where I couldn't take it. You know, like I
would be sitting there watching scenarios play out, and I
would think to myself, you're lying. This is not how
(40:30):
it happened. That is not what you did for us.
Speaker 2 (40:35):
This is all a lie.
Speaker 1 (40:37):
And also it's like you're guess lighting everyone to thinking
that you were this amazing person, but you weren't.
Speaker 2 (40:46):
Well good for you, And speaking.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
Of there were certain points where I where I did
and I got called disrespectful. I have no respect of course.
You know, everything that you could think of the way
you talk to your uncle is shameful everything. But it's
(41:10):
really difficult when it's your life and it's your family
and you have so much anger and.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
You feel suffocated. Yes, like I feel suffocated for so long.
Speaker 1 (41:21):
That is the perfect word, because you're trying to release
your truth. But then by doing that, Yes, okay, did
I act irrational or maybe raise my voice or lose
my temper for a second, Yes, but I was frustrated,
I felt suffocated.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
You know. It was a lot.
Speaker 1 (41:45):
And then hearing you say the same thing. You know,
even now you're twenty nine, and I bet the public's
still going to say something about you for.
Speaker 2 (41:54):
Speaking think you're pretty black and white after that character letter,
I have to say, yeah, I really don't get much
of any backlash about speaking up. Yeah, anything I'm saying
is very clear. I try to stay like emotionally detached
from the reality of things, which is why I sat
in that courtroom and understood the facts, and why I
(42:16):
called everybody on the phone when everybody was so uncomfortable.
It's just like, these are the facts. Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1 (42:26):
Did you go to therapy after all of this?
Speaker 2 (42:29):
I recently spoke to a grief counselor and he told
me that I was emotionally constipated. He was like, there's
all these little things that make up your grief, whether
it's like anger or embarrassment or you know, whatever it
may be. And he's like, you have to break down
all these things into the root of them, of why
(42:49):
you feel these things, and then you won't be constipated anymore.
So I feel like every day I get a little
bit less constipated.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
I want to feel that.
Speaker 2 (42:59):
You just got to break it down, I know.
Speaker 1 (43:02):
So then what is your relationship status?
Speaker 2 (43:04):
Now? I have a boyfriend. I heard he's really nice.
He's so lovely. I'm so grateful for him. Honestly, he's amazing. Yeah,
I love her.
Speaker 1 (43:15):
And did you meet him in La?
Speaker 2 (43:16):
No? I met him in Mexico on vacation. Oh my god. Yeah.
I was there for a birthday, my friend's birthday, and
he was at the table next to meet a bachelor
party and yeah, the rest is history.
Speaker 1 (43:31):
Oh I love that. Where is he about? Is he
in California.
Speaker 2 (43:34):
Area, Texas? So we did long distance the last year
and then he's moving to La next week. He's moving
in with me.
Speaker 1 (43:41):
Oh my god, Lexi, that's so great.
Speaker 2 (43:43):
Oh I feel so old. You know a boyfriend too? Right?
For a while?
Speaker 1 (43:47):
Yeah, for a while. I've been with him for six years.
Speaker 2 (43:50):
You guys live together?
Speaker 1 (43:51):
Not Yeah, I mean I'm still I'm still young.
Speaker 2 (43:54):
But no, I love that time.
Speaker 1 (43:57):
I think we're gonna we're really like discussing it now,
so I want to say, probably with the next year,
talk to me about how it was after college and
you creating your own brand, and tell us about it
because I am obsessed with it. I love everything on
(44:18):
your site and I'm going to be investing in vintage suites.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (44:24):
Yeah, I mean I just I kind of found my
way there very naturally, and I started selling vintage over
covid on Instagram and I started getting all these amazing
clients and people love vintage, so coming back, it's.
Speaker 1 (44:38):
Everything that we used to have, you know, everything is.
Speaker 2 (44:44):
So I've been doing the vintage thing for the last
two or three years. I've had so much success. I
love it. It'll always be so foundational to what I do.
But now I'm trying to move into creating my own shoes.
So I'm coming out with my own shoe next month,
which I I'm so excited for. It's like my ultimate,
biggest dream coming true. My mom still can't even believe it.
(45:06):
She's like, oh my God, Like we're gonna love them. Yeah,
I mean, you know her, she's the craziest shoes. Yeah,
and it's just so funny. I don't know if you
find this, but I used to resist my mom so much,
like I wanted to be the opposite of her.
Speaker 1 (45:23):
And I remember herning to her, I feel like you
were a tomboy.
Speaker 2 (45:27):
Yeah growing up?
Speaker 1 (45:28):
Boy, when at least at least when you were like
little like twelve.
Speaker 2 (45:33):
Oh yeah, I was such a tomboy. And then I
wanted to study like forensic psychology, so I did, and
my mom was like, uh, why do you want to
talk to serial killers? Like that's what I wanted to do.
I just wanted to go so far away from everything
that was New Jersey and my identity there, and then
I slowly have made myself right back. I'm literally my mom,
(45:57):
Like we collect and hord the same things, Like we
literally are the same person. I don't know how I
got here, but I'm here. Do you feel like you're
your mom?
Speaker 1 (46:05):
It's funny because her and I are very similar but
also very different and the way that we think, you know,
I am still I think the more rational one. I
think she's a little more irrational than I am. But
you know, I kind of come to a middle ground,
you know, I try to bring everyone back to a
(46:27):
middle ground, and but I am like her in a
way of you know, I take, I take, I take,
I take, and then I explode. So in the assects
of like our temper, I would say we're the same.
Speaker 2 (46:42):
But it's so funny. I can't imagine that from you.
Speaker 1 (46:45):
I it's only when I take, I take, I take.
You know, it takes me a while to get annoyed,
but then when I get annoyed, I snap. I think
it's a Jersey thing on that Jersey Italian temper. Like,
And it was also just okay back then. Now, like
if you like had a fight with your homegirl on
(47:06):
the street, like it is what it was, it wasn't
a big deal. No cops were being called, and like
you could take it outside. Now it's just everything's taken
to a whole nother extreme where you really do need
to reserve yourself and not be like that control exactly
self control.
Speaker 2 (47:25):
Our generation has more of it, for sure. Definitely we're
just mirrors of our moms in different ways. It's so interesting.
Speaker 1 (47:32):
Would you ever put your family or kids on reality TV?
Speaker 2 (47:38):
No? Would you?
Speaker 1 (47:41):
I think that's kind of where I'm going.
Speaker 2 (47:43):
Yeah, yeah, well, you know what you're doing at least.
Speaker 1 (47:48):
Yeah, okay, this is where like I would differ. I think,
you know, because I just my show is premiering.
Speaker 2 (47:56):
On Jerry exciting next Jed, and why I still wait
to watch it? Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 1 (48:01):
I'm so excited, more so just because I'm actually getting
away from my family drama.
Speaker 2 (48:07):
I'm making your own drama.
Speaker 1 (48:08):
Yes, yes, exactly. But you know a lot of people
ask me this, but I I feel like doing this
on my own. I'm stepping into my own I'm creating
my own vision path, you know, identity for myself. That
(48:29):
this is what I want everybody to actually see, the
person that I want everyone to get to know that.
Speaker 2 (48:36):
I I really am excited for it.
Speaker 1 (48:40):
And you know, Housewives, I was never excited for it because,
you know, once I got older and to where to
the point where I really got to understand everything it
was always just negative and about my family and about
my personal life that it honestly came to the point
where it was really an knowing to even discuss anymore
(49:02):
so going onto this show, nobody gives that my mom
and uncle don't talk like.
Speaker 2 (49:10):
Is theres a lot of drama on this show.
Speaker 1 (49:13):
Honestly, you don't have to wait and see. But it's
not like too much. But it's also not like toxic
in any way. It's like playful, normal friend drama.
Speaker 2 (49:25):
It's so amazing seeing you step into your own and like,
it's still crazy to me that a woman what you do.
Speaker 1 (49:35):
I mean, you're by like completely established now doing what
you love. Found your passion, which you know that's all
you can hope because it really does take people so
long to find that too.
Speaker 2 (49:45):
Yeah, I feel very lucky. Yeah, I really do.
Speaker 1 (49:48):
And what did you do after college?
Speaker 2 (49:50):
Book? So you like, we lived to California, which is
the best thing I've ever done. Do you love it
out there? I really do? Yeah.
Speaker 1 (49:59):
Do you ever go back and watch The Real Housewives
at all? From like the early days?
Speaker 2 (50:06):
No? No. When I knew I was gonna be with
my boyfriend, I was like, Okay, I have to show
you something. He doesn't care about that stuff at all,
but I was like, I just want to be the
person that shows you what I used to look like
and act like that was such an embarrassment.
Speaker 1 (50:20):
Oh you weren't my god, you were nerdy.
Speaker 2 (50:24):
The things that I said and did, I just yeah,
I showed him recently and then I went back on
the footage to also look at the footage of my
mom's closet and was looking at all the shoes that
she had. It kills me that I don't have them.
But I collect so many of the shoes that she had,
like subconsciously, like through doing vintage. It's like those shoes
(50:45):
are somewhere in my subconscious and then I like buy
them and she's like I had those. I'm like, what,
it's crazy, It's so.
Speaker 1 (50:52):
Crazy real if you had that shoe collection.
Speaker 2 (50:55):
Wow, the things I would do were the same size too.
It's like really a sin.
Speaker 1 (51:01):
And you obviously none of the shoes ever.
Speaker 2 (51:04):
No, nothing ever, nothing everything.
Speaker 1 (51:06):
I mean, you know, thank God your mom, you know,
found happiness and everything is replaceable.
Speaker 2 (51:13):
Very lucky, We're very blessed. It's the irreplaceable things, though,
that keep her an eye up at night, like the
nightgown that she gave birth to me, and that my
grandma gave birth to her in.
Speaker 1 (51:23):
Like what all the baby photos? None, but they were
all in that house.
Speaker 2 (51:30):
Yeah, my mom used to scrap book my entire life.
It was all in that house.
Speaker 1 (51:36):
See, Like that's so weird to me that he would
want to keep shit like that, like I just I don't.
Speaker 2 (51:41):
My aunt that works at the Brownstone around the time
that Tommy went away overheard somebody saying that somebody's pictures
were in the garbage at the Brownstone, and she went
and it was like two boxes of my baby pictures
that I guess were being kept at the Brownstone in storage,
and so so kindly they pulled it out of the
(52:04):
garbage for me and they gave it to my dad.
So that's all I have. It's about like a box
and a half of photos from you know, like two
years old and before. It's all I have. I just
went through them this weekend. Actually it was so emotional
for me because I'm like, this is I'm so grateful
to have these, but somebody threw this in the garbage.
Speaker 1 (52:25):
Yeah, like and from the bike from the room, so beatful,
just crazy, and.
Speaker 2 (52:30):
I was supposed to kiss everyone's ascid. They went in
the garbage and took it out for me, like as
you should. I would do that for a stranger. Yeah,
it's the least you could have my mom's wedding dress
in there too, So I got that, which I'm so
excited about. So I want to like change it into something.
Oh my god, yea, yeah that was in the box.
Oh yeah, it was my mom's wedding dress. It was
(52:53):
there was a scrap book in there of my mom's childhood.
We had no idea that was going to be in there,
and we were so happy and like my christening and
stuff like that.
Speaker 1 (53:02):
If you had to come up with a housewife tagline,
what would yours be?
Speaker 2 (53:08):
What was my mom's? If you think I'm a bring
it wasn't that hers? No, so much would be like,
I am a bring it.
Speaker 1 (53:16):
On, wait, I love that. My favorite line that she
ever said was with like the whole Danielle stop thing,
if you want to skin me and wear me? Like yeah,
my favorite line, like how she came up with that,
nod knows.
Speaker 2 (53:35):
My high school yearbook quote was either love me or
hate me. There's no in between with me, which is
daniel stop school. She was so angry about it. I'm like,
it's funny.
Speaker 1 (53:47):
I was literally gonna sageway.
Speaker 2 (53:49):
That sounds so.
Speaker 1 (53:52):
Mine would be you think you've raised me on reality TV,
but I'm writing my own script.
Speaker 2 (53:58):
Oh that's very artful. That was poetic.
Speaker 1 (54:03):
Took some thought.
Speaker 2 (54:04):
You own your own vintage, brand new.
Speaker 1 (54:06):
I'm going to ask you some questions and I want
you to give some styling tips to the girls. Okay,
all right, which celeb closet would you love to steal.
Speaker 2 (54:17):
From the Alsen Twins? Obviously?
Speaker 1 (54:20):
What's one trend that you refuse to try?
Speaker 2 (54:22):
I said this recently too. I don't I don't understand
the whole butter yellow thing. Everyone's wearing butter yellow, butter yellow,
and it, like, I don't know, it draws out my skin.
I feel like it's like we're gonna look back and
be like, why were we wearing butter yellow?
Speaker 1 (54:35):
LA or New York Fashion?
Speaker 2 (54:37):
Oh, New York for sure.
Speaker 1 (54:39):
If you had only twenty minutes to get ready, what's
your go to look?
Speaker 2 (54:43):
Jean's a T shirt, vintage pair of heels, Go to brands.
I'm not really a brand whore, Honestly, I'm not really
big into like designer handbags and that kind of thing.
I love Luava, but now J. W Anderson's leaving, so
I don't know if it'll be the same.
Speaker 1 (55:02):
And Chanel, if you could only buy one designer bag,
what are you.
Speaker 2 (55:06):
Picking lay the little pouch bag?
Speaker 1 (55:11):
Okay, Lexi, this was such an amazing episode, and thank
you so much for being so open and sharing your story.
Speaker 2 (55:18):
It is so nice to see you.
Speaker 1 (55:19):
I hope you feel good and I hope this made
you feel like you're really speaking to your truth.
Speaker 2 (55:23):
Thank you. I'm so proud of you. I love you.
I'm so proud of you. I love you.
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Lauren Zima
Chris Harrison
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