May 25, 2023 • 25 mins
Clare is reunited with Chris as they talk the good, the bad and the ugly of her journey.
She has some difficult questions for Chris about her time on the show. He is in the hot seat. How dramatic will it get?
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast.
And that's how we start the show with a bottle
of champagne being popped. Chris Harrison coming to you on
the road today from the Rosewood in Montecito, California. That's
(00:23):
the bougie people's way of saying, I'm in Santa Barbara.
But if you really want to be boogie, you say
you're in Montecito. But we're at the Rosewood, Motcito, and
I have very good reason to be here. A lot
of friends are with me, and I have a very
special show today because several of my old school friends,
not old friend, not old people, just old school friends
are going to be joining me on the show today.
(00:44):
And one is sitting right here with a big fat
rock on her finger and a big smile on her face.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Claire Crawley, Hello, it's been a minute.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
It has been a minute for you and I. You
have your hand on the inside of a man's thigh.
I hope this is your new husband, Ryan.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
This is my husband, Ryan. And the best thing about
it is I'm re learning everything about relationships because for
the longest time didn't really have the best I guess.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
How do.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
I say, I didn't really know how relationships should go
the right way, but this guy is always by my side.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Way, I didn't lead you down a good path. Is
that what you're saying.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
I wouldn't say you didn't. I would say it just
was what was. And I will tell you this too,
that was the right path because if I didn't do
what I did and go through everything that I went through,
I would have never met him.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Yeah, you wouldn't be uh, clearhead and healthy and ready
to do this. And I always say, you know, you
got to go through the crazy stuff to realize what's
great when you find it exactly. And I mean, as
I pumped this guy up, I'm just going to assume
he's great.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
He's he's not great, he's more than amazing, Like he's
just he's everything.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Like good kisser, generous, lover, the best, the best. He's like,
why am I sitting here listening to this? But okay,
let's back up, because I don't know anything about the
I mean, obviously I know you married, Yeah, and congratulations
to both of you. I first of all could not
be happier for you. I love you, adore you. We
did go through it several times we did it didn't
work out, and I'm glad. When I saw the look
(02:11):
on your face, I go, that's it. She's happy. She
actually did find it.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Yeah, and I can. I feel it deep, just deep
in my soul, and it's it's pure happiness. But it's
also so much calmness that it's security, it's stable, it's genuine,
reciprocated love that I've never felt before. How long get
married February first?
Speaker 1 (02:35):
Okay, yeah, was it big? Small? What was it?
Speaker 2 (02:38):
The tiny? Sweating? Okay, so in the best way possible.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
So I'm taking notes because I got one coming up,
so kind of taking notes on weddings do's and don't.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Yeah. So we actually planned on I wanted to get
married in Mexico, and we both found this spot in Mexico.
Were like, this is our spot. We're gonna have this
big celebration. You know, I've been waiting forever for, you know,
to get married. And then I also I thought, you know,
unfortunately my mom is still sick and has dementia, and
so she's in the late late stages of it right now.
(03:07):
So I thought, I thought this was back in like December,
and I thought, what if she does I mean, what
are the odds. I always wanted to get married June
twenty first, and I thought, what if she does it.
It was summer solstice, okay, but I was like, what
if she doesn't make it to June twenty first, And
she ended up getting really sick in end of January,
(03:29):
and so I said, let's have a mini little wedding
because she won't be able to make it to Mexico anyway,
Let's have a mini little wedding just for her, a
special little one for us for her. We were almost
going to like stage just this tiny little wedding for her,
for her to be there, and so we ended up
making this tiny little wedding and it was just his
two daughters, his parents, and then it was going to
(03:49):
be my best friend and my mom and not even
my sisters were coming, Like we wanted to make it
tiny and everybody who's going to come to the big wedding.
But my mom ended up the day before getting really
really sick and she wasn't able to make it. But
she's okay still, but she was just really sick at
(04:10):
the time. You couldn't leave the nursing home, and so
we ended up just it was the most perfect wedding though.
Ryan by nature is an event planner, and so he
planned the whole wedding. I was like kind of frozen
with like, what do we do? You know, very last
minute stuff, and I was so worried about my mom.
But he took the reins. He planned everything, and it
(04:31):
ended up being like we had a little ceremony, We
had the best fouls to each other, super personal, and
then it was in the spot that we first had
our first kiss, so it was it was just the greatest,
greatest little spot. And then afterwards we went to In
and out Burger, got some burgers, and then we went
in our outfits and everything and went and saw my
(04:51):
mom and kind of shared. So turns out we're not
having the June twenty first wedding because that was everything
I've ever dreamed of.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
He sounded perfect in and out. What else do you need?
Speaker 2 (05:02):
True? Exactly, I'm not trying to deal I've always said
this too, like I'm not trying to deal with Aunt
Kathy is sitting next to her divorce husband. It's next
to the mailman that I don't know, and.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
It becomes not about you, It's all about everybody else.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Yeah, I don't even know.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
Give me the give me the you know cliffs notes
version of this.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
All meet, We met, Okay, he slid into my DMS.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Love it, that's the truth. Yes, how all good relationships.
That's how my relationships started.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
It happens that way.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Casual.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
It's casual though, and then we became friends. It was
initially just a friendship, but I noticed every time he
would comment or say things to me, and I'd comment
on his stuff. But it was just it was coming
from a kind place. It wasn't like, oh, you want
to hook, let's go out, or it wasn't trying to
be sleazy. He just was like nudes totally. It was
nothing of send news, nothing like that. It was very
(05:49):
much like, well, the long game. He played the long game.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
How long did did he allow you to stay in
DMS before he moved it out of DMS? Said give
me your number, let's go out.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
How long it it was? It was a long time,
I tell you. So. We were friends for a really
long time. It was nice for nine months, yeah, and
then it was it was probably Yeah, it was probably
two weeks after my last relationship ended, and I was
(06:21):
I don't think I had gotten out of bed for
two weeks when that relationship ended, and Ryan was the
one who called me and he said, Hey, I'm coming
through town. Let me take you to a tee to
grab a tea. And I had remembered telling him like,
I'm not doing good, like things aren't good right now,
I have nothing to give, and I don't certainly don't
want to go talk to a guy, you know.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
It just wasn't the energy for it, exactly.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
And he was like, no, let's go for a tea.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
And so I love that he went for a tea.
That's I'm a total tea guy. I love that both
t people to hell with coffee exactly. Sorry for any
coffee sponsors, but I'm a tea guy such.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
A tea girl too. So we ended up going and
I remember just smiling. He was sitting there just staring
at me and talking and so engaged and generally interested
in our conversation. And I just was smiling so big
the whole time and loving it and loving our conversation
and laughing, and I was like, this is the first
(07:16):
time I hadn't thought about my ex or anything crossed
my mind or anything. It was like, I'm so into
this moment and he was at present too. And even
after that though, I said, I'm hot off this relationship.
I'm certainly not ready for anything, and he hung around
for a while.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
How long until that first kiss?
Speaker 2 (07:37):
I don't know, I don't remember.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
He first, he tells the stuff who went in for
the first kiss.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
It was him for sure, and I'm glad he did, because, yeah,
it was our fourth.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Day because Elsie for me, she Elsie kissed me first.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
I feel like that's my normal em O.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
But the good because I didn't give an ultimatum. But
what I said was, are we really going to do this?
Because we had this long talk because I could tell
I really like this girl, but I knew it meant
a lot to her career. Do you want? And I
was like, do you want to do this? Yeah, because
it's going to be tough for you and the things
you might have to deal with. And then that she
went in for the I'm.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Not waiting any loss.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
We're doing this, were doing this.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Oh, it's the best.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
It was the best.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Yeah, I mean Ryan. One thing that Ryan does that
is amazing is that he since even we were friends,
he's brought a lot of calmness into my life and
very you can use exactly. And what that's done is
I realized, and I'm sure you've seen and most of
America has seen the reactive side of me and the
(08:39):
protective and defensive side of me, which is what I
felt like I had to do for so many years
because I felt like I'm the one who has my back,
I'm the one who's looking out for me. But with Ryan,
I knew he didn't have I mean, I just felt
it from the get go. He had the best of
intentions with me and had my heart in the forefront
of it.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Someone who finally came into your life with no ulterior
motives just really wanted to be a.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Good Yeah, And that put down my guard more than
it's I mean, it completely put down my guard, even
just in the very beginning, just as friends like my
guard was down, and it brought out the feminine in me,
which I'm even my family is like, You're so much
more calm, You're so much more softer, and I'm like,
I feel like I can be I feel like I'm
safe now. It's a good feeling.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
I love that you get. Where do you all live?
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Lafayette Bay Area over in the Bay area.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
So you moved? Is that up or down from you?
Where were you?
Speaker 2 (09:44):
It's I believe it's doomed down to the sideways. Yeah, sideways.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
So now you're in So you're in the Bay Area, yep,
living your life. You are now a step mom.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
I'm a step mom.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
So how old are the are the girls?
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Nine and freshly twelve?
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Okay? So Ryan is a nine and a twelve year old?
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Yep?
Speaker 1 (10:04):
So they're about to leave planet Earth on a rocket
ship about to about is the twelve year old already there?
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Absolutely, the way it happens around that twelve thirteen, fourteen,
depending on when they kind of come of age. So, yeah,
that is a it's a difficult time. And so to
come into someone's life at that very difficult time. There
are a lot of hormones, a lot of chemicals raging.
How are you doing with that?
Speaker 2 (10:29):
It ebbs and flows. Yeah, I would say the most
of the time. It's been amazing because these two little
girls are the sweetest things. And one of the best
gifts I've been given is that they were raised just
so loving and Ryan he's such a good hands on
dad to them and like very like loves on them.
(10:51):
Hugs on them all the time, and so they're always
hanging on me and holding my hand and just the
sweetest things ever. So it's it's been easy in that aspect.
But I will say, just being a stepmom, it's just
I mean, you can insert any children in there, being
a step mom, it's nobody prepares you for that. There's
no way to prepare for that.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Very difficult, I know. I mean, obviously Lauren, I give
her all the credit in the world, who came into
my life with my two children a little bit older,
but still like it's something I've never had to do,
and so it was hard to even help. Yeah, and
I tried, but it's not something you can really do,
Like Ryan can't do that for you. It's a path
you have to walk and figure out. And it's different
(11:29):
for every child, and we have to deal with our
exes and all of it, and it's a lot.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
It's a lot, and there's times where we get into it,
and if I'm being honest, there's times where we get
into it where I say, it's not arguments or anything,
it's impossible not to yeah, but exactly, but where it's
like I have to know that for the next ten years,
your ex is a part of my everyday life. Yeah,
(11:54):
And that's not a choice. It's a choice he made.
It's not a choice I made. But I said, it
is a choice that I'm choosing to be in this relationship.
And he knows that. And I don't have to remind
him of that all the time. He knows that. And
that's step mommy. I think is hard in general because
it's like you don't get to like raise them and
ease into parenthood.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
Definitely, you're not as appreciated, you're not as Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
But even that, like there. I told the girls the
other day they were kind of being a little difficult,
and I said, just as kids are. And I said,
I looked at him and I said, you know, I'm
here to love you guys, and I'm not going to
do this perfect. I'm new to this whole thing. I
didn't raise you, guys, but I'll give you everything I
(12:38):
have in the best way possible. So and they just
kind of like, you're sweet about it and everything else.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
They're only going to get so deep totally, but it
is it's something that you know. Again, I empathize with
Lauren because she goes through this and she had to
get to know my ex, and she sees what I
never I've never met her ex. I'll never meet her ex.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Yeah, you don't have to. It's a blessing that you
don't have to.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
But she has to deal with that all the time.
When we're moving into college, we're moving out of college, Christmas, birthdays,
you know, we're together a lot. Yeah, and so it
is a difficult path to walk, and so kudos to you.
And I'm sure Ryan is very appreciative of that, Like
steps you're taking to do that trying.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
I'm trying. Nobody. There's no handbook on it. I guess
if Lauren's name can teach this, I would appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Now do you I know it's early days, but do
you think you guys will have more kids? Do you
want kids? Oh?
Speaker 2 (13:28):
My gosh, I'll tell you what, Chris. The last time
we talked, would you remember I got crucified for being
like baby? Yeah, my whole life, I've always wanted babies,
and I don't know why I got so crucified for that,
just as like goals is babies, you know, Like, here's
the thing though, too, Number one, I consider this my
(13:50):
step girls, my babies you know, and if that's what's
in the plan, I'm super happy with that. I just
love mom and I love being in that role, and
it makes you feel good to take care of children,
and it's something I've always wanted. What that looks like
in the future, I think it's something we'd probably most
(14:11):
likely keep private, since I did get crucified for even
staying the word babies.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
Yeah, I know, yeah, someone wants to be a mom.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Totally, God forgive you forbid. You love babies.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
But there's no worse thing in the world right now,
total than wanting to be a good mom.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
I know, right, you would think, But no, I don't know.
We'll see. It's telling them. I'm like, if it happens
or if this is the thing for us, I'm gonna
pull Para Siltan for sure. Just one day you'll see
me with the baby.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Whoa the hell did that happen?
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Exactly like World meet the baby? Who knows? We'll see.
And here's the thing too, though, is that I'm forty two.
I don't know it could look like anything, to be honest, like,
I don't know, we'll see, I guess TBD.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
We both went through some very tumultuous times. Yeah, yours
was essentially you Antasia kind of the last season that
I went through, the last Bachelorette. It was just it
(15:15):
was a crazy time then and then post for both
of us.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Yeah, yeah, really it really was.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Yeah, Oh my gosh, both of our lives kind of
blew up.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Yeah, it feels like forever ago. But man, it's almost
like are we blocking I sometimes block it out of
my mind. It was pretty traumatic, pretty traumatic, pretty traumatic. Yeah,
it was a wild time.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Well, and unfortunately, I think too, I felt bad because
I felt like I couldn't really be there for you.
We didn't stay in as close a touch as I
normally would have with a former bachelorette or whatever going
through everything because of my crap and everything I was
going through. Yeah, obviously I didn't reach out to people,
and I didn't really do. I didn't keep those relationships
(15:55):
as close as I normally would. I felt like I
kind of abandoned you to a certain degree where you
were going through all your No.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
You reached out to though, too, and we were both
going through it. But I think it's I don't know,
it's a tough position to be in. I was thinking
about it with you because it's like, you know so
much behind the scenes stuff, and there's so many questions
that I had where it was like, ooh, I want
to ask him so bad, but then it's like, does
he have the show's loyalty? Does he have you know?
(16:20):
Because I think there look at the end of the day,
I think there's two different agendas and well, I mean
no where you fall.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
Honestly, for me, it was both and that's part of
that was part of the friction of me being on
the show, and partly why things happen the way they
did is because I didn't always tote the company line.
I didn't always do what they wanted me to do,
which I got some knockdown, drag out fights with people
because they would ask me to do something or say
(16:47):
something going to Claire and do this, and I would say, no,
I'm not that horrible of a human being. I'm not
going to do that to her. I know where she
is mentally right now and emotionally. And so it worked
out because I felt like I could always be the
voice of reason and say, Okay, what if we did this,
or I know what you're trying to get to, how
about we do it this way, and a lot of
times it worked out, yeah, because cooler heads would prevail,
(17:10):
and there was a certain someone who wasn't on set
with us most of the time, so it really helped.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
And so because again I think most of the producers
were along those same lines as well. We had a
job to do, but we don't need to ruin this
person's life, yeah, you know, even though sometimes we would anyway.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
I do remember too. I mean there were so many,
so many times where you did come to me and
you it was almost like I remember there would be
even back in the One Pablo days where you were like, hey,
look out for yourself.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
Then I was totally on your side. And I remember
I pulled you aside in Vietnam because I went and
had a serious talk with One Pablo. Yeah, and I said, hey, man,
I just heard that conversation you had with Claire. It
was not great. You kind of put all the onus
on her and the blame on her for something you
both did. It's not going to be a good look.
And I always kind of gave him the benefit of doubt.
(18:00):
He's from Venezuela and there was that language barrier, and
I said, oh, I get it you. Maybe you don't
understand this is not going to play well for you. Yeah,
and he went into a third person and started referring
to himself and says, you know you want one, Bablo,
you get one, Bablo. And I was like, oh God,
So I remember pulling you aside in Vietnam and Saint Clair.
Just get out, get out of this. I'm glad you
(18:20):
did could look out and this is not a good situation.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Yeah, I'm glad you did, because that was in the
time for myself where I was still in the very
beginning healing stages of dealing with I guess I don't
know what the right word is, but I didn't know
how to look out for myself. I didn't know what
healthy relationships look like, and I didn't know what the
(18:47):
right thing to do was. And to have somebody like
you to reach out to be like, no, this is
not normal.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
And that's something that the producers knew. I did that. Yeah,
off camera, they would have killed me totally.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
I'm telling you, oh.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
You just torched this whole dynamic in this scene. But
when I see a human being, I'm like, no, I
don't care. Yeah, I'm going to react as a as
a dad, as a as a friend. First, because I
still think you can make great TV and make great
relationship TV. Setting someone up complete failure.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
I'm telling you, though, I wish he's lucky Claire now healed.
Claire didn't handle him.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
Back then, it would have been a knockdown dragon.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
It would have been a whole different ball game.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
Someone may have drowned in that pool.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
Absolutely, he would have been rocking himself in the corner crying.
I'll tell you that.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
What other questions do you have?
Speaker 2 (19:32):
You really want me to ask him? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (19:34):
I mean so I'll see if I can answer him.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Okay, because I don't know what your line is, what
you can and can't talk right, I don't either.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
We'll see, We'll find we'll find out.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
I want to know because I remember sitting in the
living room in Pump Springs and when you were like,
what's the situation here? What's going on? And I remember thinking,
there are so many previous bachelorettes that new night one
who they wanted to pick and who they wanted to
end up with. What was different do you think from
(20:04):
my situation? Because I remember sitting there talking with you
in the living room, going I'll see it through to
the end. I'll stay to the end. I'll do my
due diligence and be here. I signed up for this.
I knew what I want to do.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
No one was ever as demonstrative as you were. Really,
no one was ever as sure. When that person stepped
out of the limo and you, I don't know if
you remember, you walked over to me and you had
this smile on your face. You're like, it's done. It's over. Yeah, Okay,
that's cute, and it's not really over. And then you're like, no,
it's over. Yeah. I remember. I forget who was your handler?
(20:34):
Who was your producer, because it was Caitlin Maybe no,
because it was you me and whoever your handler was
Jullia Juliet. Yeah, oh my gosh. And so we were
sitting there later in that little room and you had
to smile and you were like, no, no, that we
were off camera. You said, it's I'm done.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
But here's the thing, though, Chris. When I was chosen
as the bachelorette, I was thirty nine years old.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
Yeah, it was different.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
I was a woman who knew what I wanted and
I told you all that since the get.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Go So here's where I felt like my job was
for you as a friend at that moment. I'm going
to push you and be devil's advocate. Okay, I don't
care if you do this again, and I will help
and facilitate this, and we made it happen. I was
just going to push you as hard as I could
to make sure that's really what you wanted to do
before you gave up this opportunity to be the bachelorette,
(21:22):
because it also kind of took that away from you.
And I'm like, don't you want to be the bachgeorette too?
Speaker 2 (21:26):
But I remember saying I'll stay. I'll see this through
that yet, right, I remember saying that.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
But we couldn't do it. It was it was over. Yeah,
Like I think we went on one more date and
you were just so uninterested. You were so out of it.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
It was I think here's the thing too, though I
don't know, even to this day, as much as I
adore these men, yeah, I still don't think there's a
man in there that I would have chosen.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
No, I think it was the best thing for you
to do.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
I got that time.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
You know. It's funny because you got a little crap
for it, and I'm like, yeah, I never understood that.
I'm like, if the whole purpose was to meet somebody,
and if you do totally, who cares if it's night
one whatever. I mean, I never had a problem with
that and defended you on that, and I just wanted
to make sure is this really what you want to
do and if so, I'll move heaven and earth to
make it happen, which we did and it was not
(22:12):
easy to do in the pandemic and then lockdown to
get Neil Lane out there.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
It's true, I know, and I still think about it
to this day and I'm like, I go back and
forth between it, but I still think I'm okay with
disappointing other people to not disappoint myself, And that's what
I wanted at the time.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
I wish I could do that. That's such a healthy
thing to say. Is I care way too much about
what other people think?
Speaker 2 (22:34):
I mean, I cared at.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
After obviously what I went through, and you see the
truth behind a lot of people and where they stand.
I was I was just like, you know, I care
too much and which made me a good host, makes
you human, and it makes you a good dad. It
makes you a good host, just but it just kind
of it can set you up for disappointment failure sometimes.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
Yeah, And I think honestly, it would have put me
in the ground if I cared that much. And it
did create a lot of anxiety. There was a lot
of mental health stuff I did go through post show,
But all the stuff that I've gone through mental health wise,
I've chosen how to rise from that myself and kind
of like what path I want to take from that?
And I've always thought I'm going to be better because
(23:19):
of what I've gone through.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
Well, this is the path you're on now. Yeah, you're married, yep,
you're happy, yep, and life is good and I am
you looked I saw you. I was We're here at
the Rosewood Hotel again in Mona, Zito. Anyway, I was
walking across the courtyard and I saw You're the first
person I saw when I got here, and you just
had this glow about you and this And I love
Ryan because he's got this. He seems like just an
easy going dude. Is he's unflappable.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Yep, calms me down.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Someday we'll get him on the podcast one day.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
He'll do it. Though he'll do it. He's actually as
quiet as he is. He's such a good talker. No,
as soon as we love him.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
As soon as we're done and I press stop. Yeah,
we're gonna go grab some tequila.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
Yeah, absolutely, we're gonna put it.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
We're gonna have a hell of a night. We're going
to Young and we're gonna have a hell of a
night because we have some other friends here. Ben Higgins
is here, Ashley Ikenetti, the Firestones are here, Andrew and Evana.
So we're all gonna go to the concert tonight. We're
gonna have an absolute blast. We're gonna make some horrible decisions.
This should be the show.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Stand by.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
Thank you for being here, thank you for having me,
and thank you for just still being a friend. And
I was so happy to give you a hug today.
It's great to see you always.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
Always we're family.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
And Ryan, thank you so much for being a great
interview today. My thanks to Claire Crawley. We really went
through a wild time together, going through the lockdown and
the pandemic and trying to shoot the show the way
we did, and then her falling in love so quickly
on the show and everything that happens subsequently. It's good
(24:49):
to see her, and honestly, it's just good to see
love and her eyes the way it is, and I'm
so so happy for her. We have a lot more
to come from Montecito, Santa Barbara, California. I have some
good friends coming up next, but that's in the next episode.
So for now, I'll say goodbye, thanks for tuning in,
and I'll talk to you next time because we have
(25:10):
a lot more to talk about. Thanks for listening. Follow
us on Instagram at the most dramatic pod ever, and
make sure to write us a review and leave us
five stars. I'll talk to you next time.
This is the most dramatic podcast ever and iHeartRadio podcast.
And that's how we start the show with a bottle
of champagne being popped. Chris Harrison coming to you on
the road today from the Rosewood in Montecito, California. That's
(00:23):
the bougie people's way of saying, I'm in Santa Barbara.
But if you really want to be boogie, you say
you're in Montecito. But we're at the Rosewood, Motcito, and
I have very good reason to be here. A lot
of friends are with me, and I have a very
special show today because several of my old school friends,
not old friend, not old people, just old school friends
are going to be joining me on the show today.
(00:44):
And one is sitting right here with a big fat
rock on her finger and a big smile on her face.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
Claire Crawley, Hello, it's been a minute.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
It has been a minute for you and I. You
have your hand on the inside of a man's thigh.
I hope this is your new husband, Ryan.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
This is my husband, Ryan. And the best thing about
it is I'm re learning everything about relationships because for
the longest time didn't really have the best I guess.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
How do.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
I say, I didn't really know how relationships should go
the right way, but this guy is always by my side.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Way, I didn't lead you down a good path. Is
that what you're saying.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
I wouldn't say you didn't. I would say it just
was what was. And I will tell you this too,
that was the right path because if I didn't do
what I did and go through everything that I went through,
I would have never met him.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Yeah, you wouldn't be uh, clearhead and healthy and ready
to do this. And I always say, you know, you
got to go through the crazy stuff to realize what's
great when you find it exactly. And I mean, as
I pumped this guy up, I'm just going to assume
he's great.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
He's he's not great, he's more than amazing, Like he's
just he's everything.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Like good kisser, generous, lover, the best, the best. He's like,
why am I sitting here listening to this? But okay,
let's back up, because I don't know anything about the
I mean, obviously I know you married, Yeah, and congratulations
to both of you. I first of all could not
be happier for you. I love you, adore you. We
did go through it several times we did it didn't
work out, and I'm glad. When I saw the look
(02:11):
on your face, I go, that's it. She's happy. She
actually did find it.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Yeah, and I can. I feel it deep, just deep
in my soul, and it's it's pure happiness. But it's
also so much calmness that it's security, it's stable, it's genuine,
reciprocated love that I've never felt before. How long get
married February first?
Speaker 1 (02:35):
Okay, yeah, was it big? Small? What was it?
Speaker 2 (02:38):
The tiny? Sweating? Okay, so in the best way possible.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
So I'm taking notes because I got one coming up,
so kind of taking notes on weddings do's and don't.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Yeah. So we actually planned on I wanted to get
married in Mexico, and we both found this spot in Mexico.
Were like, this is our spot. We're gonna have this
big celebration. You know, I've been waiting forever for, you know,
to get married. And then I also I thought, you know,
unfortunately my mom is still sick and has dementia, and
so she's in the late late stages of it right now.
(03:07):
So I thought, I thought this was back in like December,
and I thought, what if she does I mean, what
are the odds. I always wanted to get married June
twenty first, and I thought, what if she does it.
It was summer solstice, okay, but I was like, what
if she doesn't make it to June twenty first, And
she ended up getting really sick in end of January,
(03:29):
and so I said, let's have a mini little wedding
because she won't be able to make it to Mexico anyway,
Let's have a mini little wedding just for her, a
special little one for us for her. We were almost
going to like stage just this tiny little wedding for her,
for her to be there, and so we ended up
making this tiny little wedding and it was just his
two daughters, his parents, and then it was going to
(03:49):
be my best friend and my mom and not even
my sisters were coming, Like we wanted to make it
tiny and everybody who's going to come to the big wedding.
But my mom ended up the day before getting really
really sick and she wasn't able to make it. But
she's okay still, but she was just really sick at
(04:10):
the time. You couldn't leave the nursing home, and so
we ended up just it was the most perfect wedding though.
Ryan by nature is an event planner, and so he
planned the whole wedding. I was like kind of frozen
with like, what do we do? You know, very last
minute stuff, and I was so worried about my mom.
But he took the reins. He planned everything, and it
(04:31):
ended up being like we had a little ceremony, We
had the best fouls to each other, super personal, and
then it was in the spot that we first had
our first kiss, so it was it was just the greatest,
greatest little spot. And then afterwards we went to In
and out Burger, got some burgers, and then we went
in our outfits and everything and went and saw my
(04:51):
mom and kind of shared. So turns out we're not
having the June twenty first wedding because that was everything
I've ever dreamed of.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
He sounded perfect in and out. What else do you need?
Speaker 2 (05:02):
True? Exactly, I'm not trying to deal I've always said
this too, like I'm not trying to deal with Aunt
Kathy is sitting next to her divorce husband. It's next
to the mailman that I don't know, and.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
It becomes not about you, It's all about everybody else.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Yeah, I don't even know.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
Give me the give me the you know cliffs notes
version of this.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
All meet, We met, Okay, he slid into my DMS.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Love it, that's the truth. Yes, how all good relationships.
That's how my relationships started.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
It happens that way.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Casual.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
It's casual though, and then we became friends. It was
initially just a friendship, but I noticed every time he
would comment or say things to me, and I'd comment
on his stuff. But it was just it was coming
from a kind place. It wasn't like, oh, you want
to hook, let's go out, or it wasn't trying to
be sleazy. He just was like nudes totally. It was
nothing of send news, nothing like that. It was very
(05:49):
much like, well, the long game. He played the long game.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
How long did did he allow you to stay in
DMS before he moved it out of DMS? Said give
me your number, let's go out.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
How long it it was? It was a long time,
I tell you. So. We were friends for a really
long time. It was nice for nine months, yeah, and
then it was it was probably Yeah, it was probably
two weeks after my last relationship ended, and I was
(06:21):
I don't think I had gotten out of bed for
two weeks when that relationship ended, and Ryan was the
one who called me and he said, Hey, I'm coming
through town. Let me take you to a tee to
grab a tea. And I had remembered telling him like,
I'm not doing good, like things aren't good right now,
I have nothing to give, and I don't certainly don't
want to go talk to a guy, you know.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
It just wasn't the energy for it, exactly.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
And he was like, no, let's go for a tea.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
And so I love that he went for a tea.
That's I'm a total tea guy. I love that both
t people to hell with coffee exactly. Sorry for any
coffee sponsors, but I'm a tea guy such.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
A tea girl too. So we ended up going and
I remember just smiling. He was sitting there just staring
at me and talking and so engaged and generally interested
in our conversation. And I just was smiling so big
the whole time and loving it and loving our conversation
and laughing, and I was like, this is the first
(07:16):
time I hadn't thought about my ex or anything crossed
my mind or anything. It was like, I'm so into
this moment and he was at present too. And even
after that though, I said, I'm hot off this relationship.
I'm certainly not ready for anything, and he hung around
for a while.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
How long until that first kiss?
Speaker 2 (07:37):
I don't know, I don't remember.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
He first, he tells the stuff who went in for
the first kiss.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
It was him for sure, and I'm glad he did, because, yeah,
it was our fourth.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Day because Elsie for me, she Elsie kissed me first.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
I feel like that's my normal em O.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
But the good because I didn't give an ultimatum. But
what I said was, are we really going to do this?
Because we had this long talk because I could tell
I really like this girl, but I knew it meant
a lot to her career. Do you want? And I
was like, do you want to do this? Yeah, because
it's going to be tough for you and the things
you might have to deal with. And then that she
went in for the I'm.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Not waiting any loss.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
We're doing this, were doing this.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Oh, it's the best.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
It was the best.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Yeah, I mean Ryan. One thing that Ryan does that
is amazing is that he since even we were friends,
he's brought a lot of calmness into my life and
very you can use exactly. And what that's done is
I realized, and I'm sure you've seen and most of
America has seen the reactive side of me and the
(08:39):
protective and defensive side of me, which is what I
felt like I had to do for so many years
because I felt like I'm the one who has my back,
I'm the one who's looking out for me. But with Ryan,
I knew he didn't have I mean, I just felt
it from the get go. He had the best of
intentions with me and had my heart in the forefront
of it.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Someone who finally came into your life with no ulterior
motives just really wanted to be a.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Good Yeah, And that put down my guard more than
it's I mean, it completely put down my guard, even
just in the very beginning, just as friends like my
guard was down, and it brought out the feminine in me,
which I'm even my family is like, You're so much
more calm, You're so much more softer, and I'm like,
I feel like I can be I feel like I'm
safe now. It's a good feeling.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
I love that you get. Where do you all live?
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Lafayette Bay Area over in the Bay area.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
So you moved? Is that up or down from you?
Where were you?
Speaker 2 (09:44):
It's I believe it's doomed down to the sideways. Yeah, sideways.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
So now you're in So you're in the Bay Area, yep,
living your life. You are now a step mom.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
I'm a step mom.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
So how old are the are the girls?
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Nine and freshly twelve?
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Okay? So Ryan is a nine and a twelve year old?
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Yep?
Speaker 1 (10:04):
So they're about to leave planet Earth on a rocket
ship about to about is the twelve year old already there?
Speaker 2 (10:11):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Absolutely, the way it happens around that twelve thirteen, fourteen,
depending on when they kind of come of age. So, yeah,
that is a it's a difficult time. And so to
come into someone's life at that very difficult time. There
are a lot of hormones, a lot of chemicals raging.
How are you doing with that?
Speaker 2 (10:29):
It ebbs and flows. Yeah, I would say the most
of the time. It's been amazing because these two little
girls are the sweetest things. And one of the best
gifts I've been given is that they were raised just
so loving and Ryan he's such a good hands on
dad to them and like very like loves on them.
(10:51):
Hugs on them all the time, and so they're always
hanging on me and holding my hand and just the
sweetest things ever. So it's it's been easy in that aspect.
But I will say, just being a stepmom, it's just
I mean, you can insert any children in there, being
a step mom, it's nobody prepares you for that. There's
no way to prepare for that.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Very difficult, I know. I mean, obviously Lauren, I give
her all the credit in the world, who came into
my life with my two children a little bit older,
but still like it's something I've never had to do,
and so it was hard to even help. Yeah, and
I tried, but it's not something you can really do,
Like Ryan can't do that for you. It's a path
you have to walk and figure out. And it's different
(11:29):
for every child, and we have to deal with our
exes and all of it, and it's a lot.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
It's a lot, and there's times where we get into it,
and if I'm being honest, there's times where we get
into it where I say, it's not arguments or anything,
it's impossible not to yeah, but exactly, but where it's
like I have to know that for the next ten years,
your ex is a part of my everyday life. Yeah,
(11:54):
And that's not a choice. It's a choice he made.
It's not a choice I made. But I said, it
is a choice that I'm choosing to be in this relationship.
And he knows that. And I don't have to remind
him of that all the time. He knows that. And
that's step mommy. I think is hard in general because
it's like you don't get to like raise them and
ease into parenthood.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
Definitely, you're not as appreciated, you're not as Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
But even that, like there. I told the girls the
other day they were kind of being a little difficult,
and I said, just as kids are. And I said,
I looked at him and I said, you know, I'm
here to love you guys, and I'm not going to
do this perfect. I'm new to this whole thing. I
didn't raise you, guys, but I'll give you everything I
(12:38):
have in the best way possible. So and they just
kind of like, you're sweet about it and everything else.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
They're only going to get so deep totally, but it
is it's something that you know. Again, I empathize with
Lauren because she goes through this and she had to
get to know my ex, and she sees what I
never I've never met her ex. I'll never meet her ex.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Yeah, you don't have to. It's a blessing that you
don't have to.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
But she has to deal with that all the time.
When we're moving into college, we're moving out of college, Christmas, birthdays,
you know, we're together a lot. Yeah, and so it
is a difficult path to walk, and so kudos to you.
And I'm sure Ryan is very appreciative of that, Like
steps you're taking to do that trying.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
I'm trying. Nobody. There's no handbook on it. I guess
if Lauren's name can teach this, I would appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Now do you I know it's early days, but do
you think you guys will have more kids? Do you
want kids? Oh?
Speaker 2 (13:28):
My gosh, I'll tell you what, Chris. The last time
we talked, would you remember I got crucified for being
like baby? Yeah, my whole life, I've always wanted babies,
and I don't know why I got so crucified for that,
just as like goals is babies, you know, Like, here's
the thing though, too, Number one, I consider this my
(13:50):
step girls, my babies you know, and if that's what's
in the plan, I'm super happy with that. I just
love mom and I love being in that role, and
it makes you feel good to take care of children,
and it's something I've always wanted. What that looks like
in the future, I think it's something we'd probably most
(14:11):
likely keep private, since I did get crucified for even
staying the word babies.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
Yeah, I know, yeah, someone wants to be a mom.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Totally, God forgive you forbid. You love babies.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
But there's no worse thing in the world right now,
total than wanting to be a good mom.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
I know, right, you would think, But no, I don't know.
We'll see. It's telling them. I'm like, if it happens
or if this is the thing for us, I'm gonna
pull Para Siltan for sure. Just one day you'll see
me with the baby.
Speaker 1 (14:37):
Whoa the hell did that happen?
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Exactly like World meet the baby? Who knows? We'll see.
And here's the thing too, though, is that I'm forty two.
I don't know it could look like anything, to be honest, like,
I don't know, we'll see, I guess TBD.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
We both went through some very tumultuous times. Yeah, yours
was essentially you Antasia kind of the last season that
I went through, the last Bachelorette. It was just it
(15:15):
was a crazy time then and then post for both
of us.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Yeah, yeah, really it really was.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Yeah, Oh my gosh, both of our lives kind of
blew up.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Yeah, it feels like forever ago. But man, it's almost
like are we blocking I sometimes block it out of
my mind. It was pretty traumatic, pretty traumatic, pretty traumatic. Yeah,
it was a wild time.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Well, and unfortunately, I think too, I felt bad because
I felt like I couldn't really be there for you.
We didn't stay in as close a touch as I
normally would have with a former bachelorette or whatever going
through everything because of my crap and everything I was
going through. Yeah, obviously I didn't reach out to people,
and I didn't really do. I didn't keep those relationships
(15:55):
as close as I normally would. I felt like I
kind of abandoned you to a certain degree where you
were going through all your No.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
You reached out to though, too, and we were both
going through it. But I think it's I don't know,
it's a tough position to be in. I was thinking
about it with you because it's like, you know so
much behind the scenes stuff, and there's so many questions
that I had where it was like, ooh, I want
to ask him so bad, but then it's like, does
he have the show's loyalty? Does he have you know?
(16:20):
Because I think there look at the end of the day,
I think there's two different agendas and well, I mean
no where you fall.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
Honestly, for me, it was both and that's part of
that was part of the friction of me being on
the show, and partly why things happen the way they
did is because I didn't always tote the company line.
I didn't always do what they wanted me to do,
which I got some knockdown, drag out fights with people
because they would ask me to do something or say
(16:47):
something going to Claire and do this, and I would say, no,
I'm not that horrible of a human being. I'm not
going to do that to her. I know where she
is mentally right now and emotionally. And so it worked
out because I felt like I could always be the
voice of reason and say, Okay, what if we did this,
or I know what you're trying to get to, how
about we do it this way, and a lot of
times it worked out, yeah, because cooler heads would prevail,
(17:10):
and there was a certain someone who wasn't on set
with us most of the time, so it really helped.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
And so because again I think most of the producers
were along those same lines as well. We had a
job to do, but we don't need to ruin this
person's life, yeah, you know, even though sometimes we would anyway.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
I do remember too. I mean there were so many,
so many times where you did come to me and
you it was almost like I remember there would be
even back in the One Pablo days where you were like, hey,
look out for yourself.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
Then I was totally on your side. And I remember
I pulled you aside in Vietnam because I went and
had a serious talk with One Pablo. Yeah, and I said, hey, man,
I just heard that conversation you had with Claire. It
was not great. You kind of put all the onus
on her and the blame on her for something you
both did. It's not going to be a good look.
And I always kind of gave him the benefit of doubt.
(18:00):
He's from Venezuela and there was that language barrier, and
I said, oh, I get it you. Maybe you don't
understand this is not going to play well for you. Yeah,
and he went into a third person and started referring
to himself and says, you know you want one, Bablo,
you get one, Bablo. And I was like, oh God,
So I remember pulling you aside in Vietnam and Saint Clair.
Just get out, get out of this. I'm glad you
(18:20):
did could look out and this is not a good situation.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Yeah, I'm glad you did, because that was in the
time for myself where I was still in the very
beginning healing stages of dealing with I guess I don't
know what the right word is, but I didn't know
how to look out for myself. I didn't know what
healthy relationships look like, and I didn't know what the
(18:47):
right thing to do was. And to have somebody like
you to reach out to be like, no, this is
not normal.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
And that's something that the producers knew. I did that. Yeah,
off camera, they would have killed me totally.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
I'm telling you, oh.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
You just torched this whole dynamic in this scene. But
when I see a human being, I'm like, no, I
don't care. Yeah, I'm going to react as a as
a dad, as a as a friend. First, because I
still think you can make great TV and make great
relationship TV. Setting someone up complete failure.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
I'm telling you, though, I wish he's lucky Claire now healed.
Claire didn't handle him.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
Back then, it would have been a knockdown dragon.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
It would have been a whole different ball game.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
Someone may have drowned in that pool.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
Absolutely, he would have been rocking himself in the corner crying.
I'll tell you that.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
What other questions do you have?
Speaker 2 (19:32):
You really want me to ask him? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (19:34):
I mean so I'll see if I can answer him.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Okay, because I don't know what your line is, what
you can and can't talk right, I don't either.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
We'll see, We'll find we'll find out.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
I want to know because I remember sitting in the
living room in Pump Springs and when you were like,
what's the situation here? What's going on? And I remember thinking,
there are so many previous bachelorettes that new night one
who they wanted to pick and who they wanted to
end up with. What was different do you think from
(20:04):
my situation? Because I remember sitting there talking with you
in the living room, going I'll see it through to
the end. I'll stay to the end. I'll do my
due diligence and be here. I signed up for this.
I knew what I want to do.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
No one was ever as demonstrative as you were. Really,
no one was ever as sure. When that person stepped
out of the limo and you, I don't know if
you remember, you walked over to me and you had
this smile on your face. You're like, it's done. It's over. Yeah, Okay,
that's cute, and it's not really over. And then you're like, no,
it's over. Yeah. I remember. I forget who was your handler?
(20:34):
Who was your producer, because it was Caitlin Maybe no,
because it was you me and whoever your handler was
Jullia Juliet. Yeah, oh my gosh. And so we were
sitting there later in that little room and you had
to smile and you were like, no, no, that we
were off camera. You said, it's I'm done.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
But here's the thing, though, Chris. When I was chosen
as the bachelorette, I was thirty nine years old.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
Yeah, it was different.
Speaker 2 (20:57):
I was a woman who knew what I wanted and
I told you all that since the get.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Go So here's where I felt like my job was
for you as a friend at that moment. I'm going
to push you and be devil's advocate. Okay, I don't
care if you do this again, and I will help
and facilitate this, and we made it happen. I was
just going to push you as hard as I could
to make sure that's really what you wanted to do
before you gave up this opportunity to be the bachelorette,
(21:22):
because it also kind of took that away from you.
And I'm like, don't you want to be the bachgeorette too?
Speaker 2 (21:26):
But I remember saying I'll stay. I'll see this through
that yet, right, I remember saying that.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
But we couldn't do it. It was it was over. Yeah,
Like I think we went on one more date and
you were just so uninterested. You were so out of it.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
It was I think here's the thing too, though I
don't know, even to this day, as much as I
adore these men, yeah, I still don't think there's a
man in there that I would have chosen.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
No, I think it was the best thing for you
to do.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
I got that time.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
You know. It's funny because you got a little crap
for it, and I'm like, yeah, I never understood that.
I'm like, if the whole purpose was to meet somebody,
and if you do totally, who cares if it's night
one whatever. I mean, I never had a problem with
that and defended you on that, and I just wanted
to make sure is this really what you want to
do and if so, I'll move heaven and earth to
make it happen, which we did and it was not
(22:12):
easy to do in the pandemic and then lockdown to
get Neil Lane out there.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
It's true, I know, and I still think about it
to this day and I'm like, I go back and
forth between it, but I still think I'm okay with
disappointing other people to not disappoint myself, And that's what
I wanted at the time.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
I wish I could do that. That's such a healthy
thing to say. Is I care way too much about
what other people think?
Speaker 2 (22:34):
I mean, I cared at.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
After obviously what I went through, and you see the
truth behind a lot of people and where they stand.
I was I was just like, you know, I care
too much and which made me a good host, makes
you human, and it makes you a good dad. It
makes you a good host, just but it just kind
of it can set you up for disappointment failure sometimes.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
Yeah, And I think honestly, it would have put me
in the ground if I cared that much. And it
did create a lot of anxiety. There was a lot
of mental health stuff I did go through post show,
But all the stuff that I've gone through mental health wise,
I've chosen how to rise from that myself and kind
of like what path I want to take from that?
And I've always thought I'm going to be better because
(23:19):
of what I've gone through.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
Well, this is the path you're on now. Yeah, you're married, yep,
you're happy, yep, and life is good and I am
you looked I saw you. I was We're here at
the Rosewood Hotel again in Mona, Zito. Anyway, I was
walking across the courtyard and I saw You're the first
person I saw when I got here, and you just
had this glow about you and this And I love
Ryan because he's got this. He seems like just an
easy going dude. Is he's unflappable.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Yep, calms me down.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Someday we'll get him on the podcast one day.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
He'll do it. Though he'll do it. He's actually as
quiet as he is. He's such a good talker. No,
as soon as we love him.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
As soon as we're done and I press stop. Yeah,
we're gonna go grab some tequila.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
Yeah, absolutely, we're gonna put it.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
We're gonna have a hell of a night. We're going
to Young and we're gonna have a hell of a
night because we have some other friends here. Ben Higgins
is here, Ashley Ikenetti, the Firestones are here, Andrew and Evana.
So we're all gonna go to the concert tonight. We're
gonna have an absolute blast. We're gonna make some horrible decisions.
This should be the show.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Stand by.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
Thank you for being here, thank you for having me,
and thank you for just still being a friend. And
I was so happy to give you a hug today.
It's great to see you always.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
Always we're family.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
And Ryan, thank you so much for being a great
interview today. My thanks to Claire Crawley. We really went
through a wild time together, going through the lockdown and
the pandemic and trying to shoot the show the way
we did, and then her falling in love so quickly
on the show and everything that happens subsequently. It's good
(24:49):
to see her, and honestly, it's just good to see
love and her eyes the way it is, and I'm
so so happy for her. We have a lot more
to come from Montecito, Santa Barbara, California. I have some
good friends coming up next, but that's in the next episode.
So for now, I'll say goodbye, thanks for tuning in,
and I'll talk to you next time because we have
(25:10):
a lot more to talk about. Thanks for listening. Follow
us on Instagram at the most dramatic pod ever, and
make sure to write us a review and leave us
five stars. I'll talk to you next time.
Hosts And Creators
Lauren Zima
Chris Harrison
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