September 4, 2025 • 46 mins
A divorce after 18 years, getting sued, and losing your business all at once sounds like an inescapable nightmare...but "Ladies of London" and "Real Housewives of Dubai" star Caroline Stanbury went through that and more!
Caroline breaks down how women can make money on their own after divorce, how her women's retreats are inspiring others to level up, and why marrying a younger husband in her "I Do Part 2" chapter has been one of her best decisions.
Plus, Caroline shares with Jennie what she knows about the status of RHOD and whether fans can expect to see it again.
Email us at: IDOPOD@iheartradio.com or call us at 844-4-I Do Pod (844-443-6763)
Follow I Do, Part 2 on Instagram and TikTok
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
It's I Do Part two and I'm Jenny Garth, one
of your hosts, and today I'm going to jump in
with a fascinating woman that has really refined what leveling
up can look like in your chapter two. You know
her from Bravo shows Ladies of London and the Real
(00:37):
Housewives of Dubai. She also hosts the podcast Uncut and
Uncensored and she is leading some incredible women's retreats that
I can't wait to hear about. So please welcome Caroline
Stanbury to the podcast. So, Caroline, you know, on this
podcast we talk all about finding love again, you know,
(01:00):
whether it's after been a whether it's been after a
divorce or a loss of a spouse whatever. But for
our listeners, can you just kind of like rewind and
tell us a little bit about your major relationship milestones
that you've gone through. And yeah, I think we should
start with that.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
I mean, I think you know, as a divorced woman,
I was married for eighteen years. I've got I had
three children. I think at that time they were probably
eight or nine when I got divorced, years old, and
I have twin boys. And then I had a daughter
that slightly she must have been twelve at the time.
And then I got divorced after eighteen years, and I
(01:39):
think after eighteen years you sort of lose yourself. I also,
at the same time managed to sort of lose my business, Yes,
get sued by a civil liquidata, and get divorced all
at the same time, me to twenty four year old
and marry him two years later. So I went all
the same year, no, well into three years. So yeah,
(02:03):
it was two years that I married. Yeah, I got
divorced the same year I met my now husband and
two years later we married.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
So and the year before I got divorced was when
I was started to be sued. So and everybody said
to me, don't this is a crazy time to get divorced.
This is the worst time you could And I knew
if I stayed it would be for the wrong reasons.
It would be because I was scared of the financial
outcome all of these things. So I literally had the
weirdest story because none of it should work. I was
(02:33):
forty three and I met a twenty four year old
who had lied to me and said he was thirty one,
which was still too young. But I didn't visit myself
married to him either, and here we are, so yeah,
we're here. We're seven years on and I'm not living
under a rock or in a council house by myself.
So somehow it is just all worked out. And I
(02:55):
want to tell whoever's out there. And you know, going
through these things that if you push on through these
times and the times that you think you will not
make it, the other side's pretty darn good.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
What do you mean when you push on through? Like
what did you resort to when it came to pushing
on through? Like what did you have to challenge yourself with?
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Well, I've given you a very very short version. I
was obviously, I was being sued, so at the same
time as getting divorced. You know, my ex husband hated
me obviously because I was marrying a twenty four year old.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Oh he wasn't fond of that idea.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Yeah. No, So you're dividing your assets then, But also
when you're being sued, the only way you can get
rid of an asset is in a law case. You know,
if you're being you know, it's giving it to an
ex husband so or to a husband or to a spouse.
So you're in these terrible terrible situation where you know
that you need that money. Actually, I mean in the end,
I won my whole case, but like that was a
(03:56):
lot further on, and I thank you very much. I
had probably twenty five thousand dollars left to my entire name.
I had rent to pay, mortgage, to pay, three kids,
a twenty four year old who may as well be
in another dependent at that stage, and just didn't know
what I was going to do or how I was
(04:16):
going to do it. And I'm a very pragmatic, very
very you know, strong woman. I've always run everything. I
had eighty six employees. I was, you know, I'm a businesswoman.
I can normally solve everything, and this was just something
I just could not solve. I couldn't pay. I'd paid
one point one pounds to lawyers if any money left
to do it. I didn't have any money left from
(04:37):
anyone to get from anyone. I couldn't work because if
I went to work, I wasn't getting the money anyway.
The lawyers were, so you know, it doesn't make you
want to go to work because you're not earning it.
Someone else is taking it. So that I was as
at bottom as I think you could get like, I
really didn't see a way out. But you know, I
(05:00):
also knew going back wasn't an option for.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
Me, right, you knew that. How did you feel about
going forward into a new relationship and really quickly a
new marriage, Like what was that process?
Speaker 3 (05:13):
Like?
Speaker 1 (05:14):
How did you bring yourself into that type of joy?
Speaker 2 (05:18):
I mean it wasn't all joy. I mean I went
to hospital twice. I think with panic attacks, anyone's you know,
going into a new relationship after an old one, you
kind of panic anyway, and you're going, what am I doing?
You're in a complete On the one hand, it brings
joy and lightness. And what I realized was if I
am forget the new guy, And that's what I want
to say. It's not about the new man. I never
(05:39):
left for him, but I had met him at the
end of my marriage, right, And what I feel is
that if you can have those feelings for someone else
and you're getting more, you know, this kind of joy
and feelings, then your other relationship isn't the one you
should have been in. You can't steal someone that doesn't
want to be stolen. I have plenty of marriage friends
(06:00):
whose husbands definitely wouldn't you know, jump because I said,
you know, let's go. It doesn't happen like that. You know,
it's one of you has to be get a ball.
And I think, you know, what I realized was it
wouldn't be fair to stay in my marriage because I,
you know, didn't feel like I was feeling with him anymore.
(06:21):
Regardless whether you know, my twenty four year old stayed
or not.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
How did you know it was time to get out
of your marriage.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
When I was happy at out the house than in it.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Ah, that's that's yeah, that's truth right there.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Yeah, And it's it's as simple as that. I got
asked that question all the time because I used to
have a podcast called Divorce Not Dead, which is now
uncut and uncensored, and I named it Divorce not Dead
because everyone goes, oh, I'm so sorry, and actually, no,
don't be sorry. I left, you know, and I left
for good reason. And actually, you know, it doesn't matter
how big your house is. I don't care how many
(06:58):
bedrooms you've got and how many and staff and everything
like this. If you don't love being in it, and
you don't love the person that you built it with anymore,
then you know you may as well, it doesn't matter
if you live in this, you know, tiny room I'm
sitting in right now. I'd rather be in this if
you've got you know, the biggest wealth to me is peace.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Yes, the biggest wealth is peace. That is very true.
I like that a lot. What what is your like?
How has that been co parenting with your three kids
with your access?
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Well, now it's perfect. We went through We went through
helen back, you know obviously, like he's a Turkish man,
he runs a very big business. You know, I did
the worst, you know, like it's the most embarrassing thing
that can ever happen to a man. You know, lots
of women men leave for younger women. Name me a
man that you know that a woman that's left for
(07:54):
a younger man and it's worked out because normally it fails.
And then ever we go haha, silly, old fool, right,
and so they kind of wait for that, and mine
hasn't worked out like that, And so, you know, I
embarrassed him, and I get that. I can completely see it.
So it took a long time, but he's a very
(08:16):
good man, and I think now he realizes we're all
in the right place, good and our kids are particularly
happy and we manage you know, he's got a girlfriend.
And the beginning was very hard because I really try
to do the right thing, which was like, you know,
when he was so upset about you know, obviously I'd
be like, oh, we can still have breakfast together and
dinners together. Well that's ridiculous. No, you can't. You can't
(08:38):
do that. You have to cut.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Cut tis you think that's the key, cut it key's
That's where for me too, Like I have to actually
like delete the contact, like I don't even want to
see the name.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Yeah, I mean I don't mind as much as that,
but I mean to keep any normalcy, cannot you know,
because you're actually lying to yourself, the kids and the
everything else. You just have to rip the off. I
have other friends of mine that were like they kept
their boyfriends or lovers or the people that they were seeing,
you know, even like after they've got separated from the
husbands so away from the children for like a year,
(09:12):
and they've been going out, you know, going out at nights,
staying in hotels, making their lives uncomfortable, and actually a
year and a half two years later, the reaction from
the kids is exactly as the same as mine was
day one, except mine's over and now they've got to
relive it, and they've you know, they still haven't really
moved on and had their life, because they're sneaking around
at night like they're having an affair anyway, even though
(09:33):
they're not.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Yeah, you, I too, am married to a younger man
and I two have three daughters, three kids, so I
can really relate. I was, Yeah, I was ready for
something new, and I knew I was at a point
in my life that I needed like energy and laughter
(09:55):
and that zest for life, you know. And I feel
like that he brought that into our home during a
kind of because it happened very quickly for me as well,
that we met and got married, and it was just
like this is this feels good. This felt good to me,
this felt good to the girls. So I kind of
felt like this is the right thing. So I just
(10:16):
kept going with and listening to my instincts. That's all
you can do. I think that's it.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
It's the instinct and the thing is I mean, you know, look,
obviously I do a different type of reality TV and
you do. But it's still a weird life for any
normal man, right.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Was he accustomed to that world your new husband, Sergia.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
No, he was a soccer player, so you know, I
mean he's accustomed to obviously a bit of a crazy
world because in real Madrid at seventeen, he had like,
you know, a lot of fans and things like this, right,
but no with cameras and living under a microscope and
also the horrible things I mean is, you know, people
love to write about you, especially if you're good looking.
And now he's with an older woman, so that must
(10:55):
be crazy. I'm that bought him, or he's gay and
all of these you heard it all, but yes, everything,
so but you know, I'm sure you I thought about
it long and hard. Like an older man my age
or old it wouldn't want the life I lead, you know,
all the open you know, the constant scrutiny from people,
(11:16):
and all of this, and I think you know, as
you said, the one thing that hit home as well,
it's just the laughter. I have everything else. I can
make everything else work, but I need to giggle, and
I need to like have my friend and we just
I wasn't friends with my ex, right.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Oh and that's the best feeling too, when you find
your new best friend that you just can't get enough
of and you want to stay with and just deal
all of your life with. I mean, it's exciting. It
brings us great excitement into your world. And I'm so
happy you found that you you got married six years ago,
is that right? A? Yeah, six years, six years ago,
and your husband you said, is a professional soccer player. Yeah,
(11:57):
that's very exciting, and I'm sure, yeah, all the hell
lines must have been bananas with with this whole situation.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Sex slave was sex slave.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
I never heave that one.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
I rented him. I don't even know how you do
that for that many years, but okay, I would rent
him if I could. Yeah, just loads of things, right,
which is really insulting to women, by the way, because
you know, men do this the whole time, all unders time.
Why it's so shocking. I'm like, you know, I'm such
a troll that no younger guy would want to be
with me. I don't get it. Were great. Older women
(12:30):
are amazing, amazing, amazing because we have so.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Much knowledge now and we've been through so many things,
and I think we've grown so much because you know,
and then also you, I think you're around the kind
of the age that I was when I know a
little bit different, but you take stock in what's important
in your life because you've had the experience of what
didn't work and what didn't feel right and what didn't
(12:54):
feel good, and you don't there's no going back to
that once you've gotten through it.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
No, you know exactly what you want, and I think,
you know, like I look at younger girls and friends
of his that are dating younger girls, and I'm he
rolls his eyes, like, you know, I've lost my passport?
Can you fix this? You know? They you know, it's
like everything, Oh, I just want a credit card to
go to amez. You know, that's that's it. It's like
they haven't there's no chat, there's no there's no confidence,
there's no like they're always waiting around for them and
(13:24):
the guy and everything's on him to do. Whereas you know,
I think I have such a big life already set
up that's so exciting. You know, you can go, you
can follow it, you can not follow it, you can
do It's just every day something's new.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
That first year that you got married remarried and you
did it quickly? Did were you ever? Was there a
point where you're like, oh my god, what did I
just do? Was there ever a point like maybe this
was a mistake, Maybe I rushed into this.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
No, I mean not when I got married. I think
you know, after after he kept pushing, No before sorry,
when he kept pushing before, I was like, Okay, everyone
told me he was love bombing me. This couldn't be true.
You know, all my friends that have been married eighteen
years or whatever, they were like, you know, in all
due respect, you're really great, but like, this is very weird.
(14:25):
This guy's flown halfway across the world to live with you.
He wants to be with your kids, you know, all
of these things. And then you start overthinking, and you're going,
maybe I'm wrong, Maybe I'm the silly old idiot, you're right.
And then I ended up having As I said, I
hospitalized my twelve myself twice. I was in my hair
salon in La and it was Nikki Lee, Nikki Lee.
(14:47):
I had to be taken out literally my ambulance with
the things in my hair. And I waited three months
for that, and I was going, now I was going
to leave with them. In another appointment. She goes, She's like,
take them out, we'll do it again tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Oh my god, you know.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
And then I'm going, oh my god, what have I done?
You know, I've blown up my whole fucking life and
I can't go back to What am I going to do?
Speaker 3 (15:06):
You know?
Speaker 2 (15:06):
And then of course you do think everyone's right. I
can't be the only one that thinks this is a
good idea. And no one thought this was a good idea,
you know, and everyone goes, he's going to leave you,
He's going to leave you. And then I was like,
you know, then I just woke up and I was like, well,
what do I care? Okay, it's going to leave me.
Great exactly, myke'x husband could leave me tomorrow. So so
what It's fine, You'll be fine. I'll be fine.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
And isn't that the best feeling? Like as a woman,
you stand on your own. It doesn't matter who comes,
who goes, who joins in with you, who enjoys, you know,
the ups and downs of your wild life, because it's
your life and you're living it. And you know, I
had I reached that point where because I was very
much more attached to staying and security of the family
(15:51):
and I didn't want to break it up, you know,
things to check where you're married. I was married for
seventeen years. Also, oh, similar to you story. Yeah, so
but I wasn't.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
I just I come from a different background. I think
has a lot to do with it where you stay
married and so that was really hard for me. But
afterwards it was, you know, the realization that because once
you attach once you like cling onto something and don't
want it to end, or don't want a situation to change.
(16:26):
Once it finally turns the corner and you make that change,
you make that adjustment, you kind of look back and think, look,
look what I just did, Like, I can do anything.
I can get through that. What's next? And you meet
a younger guy, he leaves you, So what here I
am again with myself.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
In the meantime, we're having great sex, having fun. We've
rediscovered ourselves. Like you know, I like, at the end
of most relationships off to that long you think you're
a sexual, you think you don't even like sex anymore.
You're like, Okay, I'll live without it for the rest
of my life. Yeah, maybe I should try, but yeah,
you never know, didn't go there yet, but you never know.
You never know.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
My daughter just told me last night we were watching it. Oh,
somebody got married that she knows two women and she
was watching their wedding on a video and she's like, Wow,
that just looks so nice, so romantic, so beautiful. Everybody
gets wear dresses, well, solways, an option bed, whatever you want.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
Eventually, exactly if I come from the same elk, like
you know, there was no divorce in my family. My
mother's initial reaction is get back in there and you
stick it out, right, And then you know, I thought
to myself, stick it out. I'm turning, you know, forty
at that time, forty five. I'm like, stick it out.
I've got another fifty years. Yeah, you're not going to
(17:44):
die tomorrow. You don't want to live the rest of
your life and lightless? Right? No, for what reason? And
then live a lie?
Speaker 1 (17:51):
Yeah, sticking it out sounds awful.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Lots of people do it and live the lie like
they have extramarital fairs which they keep to keep their family.
And then you know, like I don't understand because I
always say some of the biggest lies are in the
longest marriages, and that isn't a relationship for me. I
don't want that. Like if I have to come home
(18:13):
and think about the lie that I've got to tell
my husband every night so that he can sleep and
I can sleep, and I'm the only one not sleeping.
I don't know how people do it. I really, truly
do not know how you continue.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
I honestly don't either. Like I, one man has plenty
for me to like to manage, and he says the
same thing about me, like, there's no way he could
have an affair because he just wouldn't be able to
handle having to women, because it's a lot of work
being in a relationship, you know, like keeping it good
and growing. What about Like so after you got married,
(18:44):
and I know this firsthand, there is a difference. There
is an age difference. And I didn't ever acknowledge that
early in my relationship with my husband. I thought, you know,
that's ridiculous, and I don't. I don't feel any difference.
But there have been and we've been married for ten years,
this was our tenure. We've you know, we've been through
(19:05):
some stuff where I've gone second guess myself and thought like, wow, okay,
is this because he just hasn't grown through this period
of his life. He hasn't come to these crossroads personally,
so he really can't, you know, relate on the way
I want or hope he will. I have to kind
of meet him where he.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Is all the time. Of course, sometimes I literally want
to throttle him, because sometimes he's a husband, an amazing husband.
Other times it's like having another son, you know, in
the weirdest possible in the nicest possible way without it
being weird.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
But you know it can be because I'm teaching him
at the same time. You know how he'd never lived
with a woman. You know, I've had many relationships where
I lived with someone, compromised with someone, understood what a
man has to do in the house. I'll do this,
you do that. You know, I'm teaching him from scratch,
so you know, of course sometimes you go, oh, oh
(20:02):
my god, you know, but everything. I mean, I remember
lying in bed going, oh, top Gun, can't wait, and
he goes, what's tops What do you mean? What do
you mean? What's top Gun? I was like, where on
earth were you? And he wasn't born. I know, I'm like,
oh my god, and I have to remind myself of
these things. So yes, well, I mean, I get asked
this all the time that the big thing is how
(20:26):
we split finances. Everybody wants to ask me, the sex thing.
Everybody wants to ask me, And I think, you know
exactly that the age difference, sometimes the maturity. But again,
what I do do to settle my own head and
not go I haven't made a giant mistake, is I go, oh,
look at my friend's husbands, every single one of them,
(20:47):
And I'm like, no, it couldn't be with any of them,
not one, Nope, they're bitter. And then even just getting
on the phone to co parent with my ex husband
who now has a loving relationship and is in a
very good space and we get on quite well. Now,
you know, he still irritates that he bejeeves out of me,
like really drives me nuts. I'm like, he's a cup
is half empty person. You know, my son wanted to
(21:08):
go to Texas this year and he said, oh, I'm
flying to America or by himself twenty hours. What if
he gets sent home? I'm like, and you know, so
it's so different. And I'm like, well, if you get
so the worst case he doesn't get through the border
for whatever him, he's fifteen, Why wouldn't he get through
he's got an esther and and he's like, it's very
difficult to go to the States, And I'm like, okay,
so the very worst he gets, he gets all the
(21:29):
way there and has to come back. But if the
great otherwise he goes to Texas. This is amazing. Yeah.
So we're just totally different people. So I'm a doer
and he's a and I don't want to be in
a relationship where I'm where someone sees the rain, Where's
my husband sees a rainbow and wants to go dance
in the rain.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
What a difference it is. That's I'm so happy for you.
Do you feel like do you ever have your mom's
a resentment though, where when you feel like you're kind
of living with a boy man?
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Yes, yeah, of course I do. And I told I
tell him, you know, like you've got to step up
and do this way. How do they take that?
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Like, I'm curious how he as a man takes these
kinds of like you teaching him lessons or him coming
up to the war and facing he does. He's very receptive. Okay,
that's very receptive. You're very that's very good, very receptive.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
And actually we lean into some of the I mean,
it is quite funny sometimes to watch me because I
do forget, Like I'll tap him on the back if
I want him to straight, and it's like, oh my god,
it's a mom move and I forget, you know, like
and because my sons are massive too, by the way,
there's six foot so the three of them all behind me,
and they all borrow each other's clothes, and so I do.
(22:47):
It isn't lost on me. But you know, oh my god.
But like, you know, on the other hand, please I
don't want it to sound really weird. We do have
a husband wife relationship. What has he taught you to
relax through things so you know that it's never the
end of the world, like and the safety of first
of all, age, you know. I used to feel older
(23:09):
weirdly with my ex husband, Like if I got a
gray head, you know, grace when you're on a holiday
and you're like, oh my god, I need to find
you know, get my roots done, or you know, he
would tell me not on pobs, go a little bit
gray here or whatever. I would feel older. Where's my
husband now? Is Like we're traveling, He's like, oh, leave it.
I love it, you know, it's so weird. The thing
(23:31):
is he helps me in so many ways, right with
the kids, my businesses, so I do these even like
the women's retreats. I wasn't. I started doing women's retreats
and I teach financial independence and I teach women life
after divorce and investing and things like this, which is
really fun. And I wasn't going to have him, but
I one of my because I didn't think it was appropriate, right,
(23:52):
one of the camera guys couldn't come, And then he
did it all and then the women just loved having
him there. And he's not in the room when we're
doing all our talks and everything, but he was on
the island, and you know, he just he's my partner,
so like and because he's my husband, all the money
goes to the same pot obviously, and we're running around
doing things together, which means I don't travel alone. And
(24:14):
he's just taught me that life. I would have told
you there's no way on earth I would have worked
with my ex husband ever ever.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
Why it would have just been too frictious.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
Yeah, because I had a very big business before, and
I felt like, you know, he would have we would
always we were quite competitive with the money we earned
and all of these kind of things. And you know,
and then because he came in as younger and came
into my already built train, I feel like he was
more able to pick up the slack and do the
bits I couldn't do. And that now we're just a team.
(24:48):
You're a part the other partner partnership. So if he
does this, and if he's doing the work, then great,
and I've got the kids, or he's got the kids
and I'm doing the work. But somehow it's all working
right at the same time, and we're doing all the
businesses together, and we're traveling together. Because that was the
other thing, the distance. I think. You know, my ex
husband traveled for work, then I traveled for work, so
(25:08):
then you know, we just became there was such a disconnect.
Our friends were different. I wanted to be with my
girlfriends all the time. You know, my husband is my girlfriend,
and he loves being with my girlfriends. So it's just
I don't know, He's taught me so many things, you know,
so many things it's really hard to explain, just to chill,
you know, to enjoy work rather than just like I've
(25:29):
got to go to work. You know. I love that.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
It sounds like he's sort of brought you to like
a place of being able to sort of step back
and smell the roses and like have peace with yourself.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Well, you know when they say the work life balance,
come on, there isn't one rights not for.
Speaker 3 (25:46):
What we do.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
That's a lie. That's how Yeah, Like, if you're filming
for three months, how do you separate work in life?
You can't that it work is your life, right, So
the only way you can make it work is if
your life comes with you or your whole life is.
So that's that's what I feel like. My whole life
(26:08):
is in this house and this is where I walk.
I went from home.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
Yeah, if he's happy with coming along with you and
being a part of your big life, then.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
Go for it.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Like more power to you. That's amazing. Hey guys, it's
Cheryl Burke.
Speaker 3 (26:30):
Okay, So I have to put you onto these leggings
I've been so obsessed with lately. They're from this brand
called Tona and get this, the designer behind them also
created Lululemon, so they know exactly what they're doing. These
leggings are next level, think buttery soft, super flattering and
very comfortable. Also, they are supportive in all the right places.
(26:50):
I started worrying them for when I take my dog
on walks, but now I'm basically living in them. And
here's what makes them even better. Every pair you buy
helps fund a mental health counsel session for a teen
in need. Tona's on a mission to end teen suicide
and self harm, which we think is so important and incredible,
and we've partnered with Tona to give you twenty percent
off your order and free shipping. So head to tona
(27:13):
active dot com and use code iHeart for twenty percent
off and free shipping.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
I want to know more about the women's retreats though.
This is intriguing to me. I think I think I
heard you have one coming up in November. Yes, no
care tell tell.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
So it kind of started by actually I told you
I had this podcast called Divorce Not Dead, which I
changed because it was so niche, but actually I probably
shouldn't have changed the name. I love it anyways, So
I just thought I used to get written to all
the time, like how you know the transition through divorce
and women? I know very very wealthy women or not
(27:50):
wealthy women. Women that were married to very wealthy men,
you know, And there's always sort of this smugness about
wealthy women who've married well, and they go, you know
when I'm fine, Well, you know you're not not unless
he's put in your account. So let me just tell
you that right now. And you know, it's amazing how
poor they are the day you get divorced. So no,
(28:12):
beyond true. And I trust me. I live in the
Middle East. I see it every day. I'm sure literally
every day mine. It's nuts and they end up with nothing.
And I had like a girlfriend of mine, she had
seventeen homes before she was married. She was she was
married twenty years. She got nothing. She doesn't even know
ow an apartment. I mean, it's insane. So the little
money she did get, you know, the little money she
(28:35):
did get, now she sits on it in the bank
right because she's too scared. She's like, it's all I've got.
She does want to let it go. And that is
a understandable woman. And I think women have to understand
because I run meant multiple businesses and they come out
all the time. So I have a project in Bali,
I have the podcast, I have you know, airbnbs here,
I built the house. But this is this is by
(28:56):
the way, after four years of like almost going bankrupt, right,
I built all the back. I don't know how if
I really think about it. But that's why I started
these retreats, because if I had been scared for a minute,
I wouldn't have been able to do or build the
wealth I have back at all. But and I don't
know why I wasn't scared, but only that and the
(29:17):
other way, you have no choice. If you don't go
on and build it, what are you gonna do. You're
gonna sit on the piddly little amount you've got left
and just wait for someone to pay you a salary.
You have to make your money work for you today
or you'll always work for somebody.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
And that's it. And I'm thinking about I'm fifty. I
need passive income when you need to care.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
Yeah, you need that security because no one's going to
give it to you at this point. It's all I am, right,
So I think I had that realization too, where I
was like, this is my life there and I've been
an independent my entire life, never lived you know, never
accepted money from a husband or anything like that. But
I can absolutely put myself in the shoe a woman
(30:00):
who has And I thought about that a lot, and
you know, when I realized this is it. I am
on my own no matter what. I've got to figure
it all out or there is really no or that,
there's only.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
That option, there's no are, there's no or. And you know,
other women just sit there, going, well, someone else is
going to come along. Yeah, Well, you know today, with
the way the world is, there's such a disconnect between
men and women. They may not and they should be
prepared either way. It didn't matter.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
You can't depend on someone else for your life, basically, and.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
I teach that. And so when these women. I started
doing these dinners first, and I wanted to see who
would show up, and I had no idea. I was like,
I did one in New York. I was like, God
knows who's going to show off. And this is the
first person that came. I see this little old lady
coming across no across the road, and I'm going, okay,
and she goes Caroline waving at me, and I'm like,
oh God, this is going to be a nightmare.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
Wait, how did she find out? How did she find out.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
So I put it on my I put it on
my This was a dinner. It started as a dinner
that you could pay a ticket and come to the dinner.
I put on my Instagram. Who's in New York loved?
You know, I'm hosting a VIP dinner. So anyway, the
first woman comes and she sits down and she sold
her business to Warren Buffett. Okay, yes, okay. She then
(31:21):
made so much money she bought it back. She was
living in Mustique. She's about I think she was seventy
six when she came to the dinner. This is a
few years ago now. And another another woman came. She'd
sold a business for I don't know, three four hundred
million Australian, which is like two hundred million dollars. It
was the weirdest lasers. Yeah, getting divorced. And these powerful
(31:46):
women came right and I was, I mean, I was
the poorest person at the table by far, and Lee successful.
So I'm going, why are all these women why are
they listening to me? Yes? And then I understood women
want to like minded women. Okay, at this age, they
want to connect with women. They want purpose, They don't
(32:06):
need to make money. Any you know, they don't need
to make money, but they need to do something they
want the next thing they've done, they've already made the money.
You know, some other women came of of course it
hadn't made that kind of money, but they'd made a
nice amount of money. Some of them had grown up
in small towns, made a bit of money. And you know,
the people around them now resented them, right because they
became a little bit bigger than them. And they wanted
(32:26):
to connect with like minded women. And it was the
weirdest thing, and it became quite powerful. And then I
did this other one in Texas and one woman was
running for Congress, another woman was to one went to Princeton.
One had like all these treatment centers in LA like
amazing beautiful women, and they've all kept in contact with
each other. And I said, I'm actually doing something quite
(32:48):
powerful here. These women wanted to do business with each other,
they want to connect with each other. They're now doing
a reunion. I'm on a group chat with them and
I can see. I take everybody's see before they come
to the retreat, so I can see, Like on this
new one, I've got quite a lot of people who
are in real estate coming because real estate's really quite
an easy business for somebody who's starting out to invest
(33:11):
and doesn't know how to invest their money. And that
is probably the easiest way for a woman to build
wealth with not much, you know, not much education.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
Can I pause for you for a second, say, I'm
one of those women that doesn't have any money. Like
my husband wasn't wealthy. We're divorced. Now I'm still not
wealthy and I'm on my own. So how do I
even start?
Speaker 2 (33:34):
Well, I always tell the women, because I do, you know,
I tell you look around the house and see what
you can sell, liquidate as much as you can. And
you know, if you've got jewelry assets, any asset, get
rid of it and put it into a down payment,
because all you need to do is get on that
ladder and you can start with you know, it doesn't
(33:54):
have a one bedroom tiny I started with one bedroom apartment,
and then I started to build and to remortgage and
to get my next one and my next one, and
I got six and I don't know how.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
So you bought an apartment and then you flipped it,
rented it.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
Out, rented it out, renovated it. That as much as
I could re mortgaged it, used that mortgage payment to
do the next one, and did the same and started
building beautiful.
Speaker 1 (34:24):
This is not hard. That's not hard.
Speaker 2 (34:26):
It's on a cloud.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
No one has ever broken that down for me, like
no one has ever. Here's step one, here's step two,
here's step three. Yes, if you want to follow this plan.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
Yes, and that's what I do. So we sit there
until you actually can't walk away. The whole point of
the retreat is you walk away with an answer. Everybody,
and also the women that are in there. Some, as
I said, some are super successful and some aren't and
don't have the money, but they want to learn, right,
So everybody sits there and you actually get each other's opinion.
Speaker 1 (34:54):
I mean, that's what happens when women come together, are
strong together, any kind of woman, A week strong, doesn't
even matter. The energy just changes everybody's energy.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
The energy in that room was insane. But when I
break it down like that to you, and you know
I didn't have any money left. I didn't. I told
you I had twenty five thousand dollars and maybe that's
still for some people, a lot of money. I don't know,
but that wasn't. I wasn't sitting on a pile of cash.
I have six I have six and somehow I bought
this house. You can talk yourself into anything. My last
(35:28):
apartment I spent zero because I refinanced the others. I
didn't put a pound down, not one pound. And I
think it sounds so complicated that we over complicate, right,
But once you get going, it's truly not you know,
And you'd be surprised how much money if we're really
(35:51):
talking about you as sitting in your home in probably bags, clothes,
car I could think of quite a few things. You
can buy them back later when you've built a portfolio.
I remember when I have a mortgage guy here who
was helping me, and I said, I've got no money left.
I've got no cash left, and he goes, well, we've
been here before, haven't we, except you now have a
(36:13):
property portfolio. And I looked around and went, I do.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
You say it's label breaking? Like about breaking the labels.
Speaker 2 (36:23):
It's about, you know, breaking the mystery. I think people
like to over complicate business. Right, I've achieved this, but
I you know, because you're seeing the end, you're seeing
me at six or seven. But you don't seeing where
I started, right. Everyone wants the end, but they don't
know what the beginning was. The beginning. You know, I've
(36:43):
never started a business where I haven't literally had to
beg somebody for money to start, right, except for the
property business, I didn't beg anyone. I just literally said, okay,
you know, I'll save this that the mortgage. In fact,
your deposits are even less than we have to do here.
You in America, you can put very little down.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
I looked at the States too, yes, much less, so,
you know, and and there are so many good business
plans out there, Like I wanted to do Section eight
housing in America because I just thought that was just
such a great business. And I've looked at all of it.
You know, you want to do in America. You want
to do the things that are un sexy, right, The
(37:26):
businesses no one else wants to do in our in
our genre are the businesses that you want to take.
Those are the ones that make money. Car washers, no joke,
laundry mats, no joke, very little upfront, so unglamorous, so unglad.
That's necessity. They are also what do you call it,
(37:51):
my head's gone proof. Recession proof, the recession proof, and
that's what you're looking for. And then when you can
build it and you want to do something glamorously, to
go for it. But you know, I don't care about glamor.
I mean, you know, I always said that I would
do the I would do the depends the nappy, you know,
the one, the one for women's content that they want
(38:12):
to pay for me.
Speaker 1 (38:12):
Someone will see you to it.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
Yeah, exact why, I know, But like I'll take the
un sexy jobs they pay. Hmmmm.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
It's it's so interesting your perspective, and I love that
it's coming from this strong female financial Uh, you know,
I can make this happen for myself. And that's such
an important message to women, especially women that don't come
from wealth that finding you know, they're finding themselves kind
of starting over and it is very scary.
Speaker 2 (38:40):
It is scary, but you should take other people and
let them inspy you instead of let them threaten you.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
Yes. Absolutely. Big pivot for me was looking at other
women who have more than me, who are smarter than me,
who who have just you know, had more success than me.
I want to surround myself with those women because I
want to learn learn how they did it. I want
to I want to see what that looks like.
Speaker 2 (39:03):
That is the most important thing. You want to be
the most dumb person in the room if you're not
changed rooms.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
Because you're not gonna learn anything in that room. Right,
that's the thing.
Speaker 2 (39:18):
Nothing, and that's the most important thing. I don't think
you know, look, use it, use it. Listen to people
that have been through it, because you know, again, as
you said, no one's coming to save you. It is
so easy when you break it down and it's not
as scary. And a woman that's already there, that's achieved
something from nothing, and a lot of the people that have,
(39:40):
you know, really successful women today have come from nothing.
Look at people like Emma Grady, look at look at
all these women who have hard graph to get to
where they are. Right, they will give you a leg up,
they will give you their secrets. It's the ones that
haven't had to work for it that don't right. You know,
when I was building my first business, I was doing
(40:03):
like a netaporte online but for gifts. I remember the
founder of netaport and one of the one of the
first investors. She gave me her packaging company, her tissue
paper company, her gifting you know, the river everything, and
everyone was going stop asking her, and she said, no, no,
I'm there's room for everybody in this business. That's you know,
if you're a confident woman, there is room for everybody.
(40:24):
I'm not giving you my secret. There's no secrets, no secret,
you know, Yeah, there's no secret. The secret is. The
secret is I'm doing it. Yeah, hard work, get up
and do it. Just get up and do it. If
you can't afford to do it in your country, there
are other countries that you can afford to get to
do it in. I've just started doing it in Bali. Now.
I'd never been to Bali before.
Speaker 1 (40:43):
Oh my gosh, I heard your your you and your
husband are opening a retreat.
Speaker 2 (40:50):
Hotel, boutique hotel. I don't know how. I was so
dead against it. I've never I've been to Bali once
in my life. Don't didn't really like it, Like, I'm like,
why am I going? This was years ago now I
quite like it. I bought we bought the land. Then
I'm like, I don't know how we're going to pay
for the rest of it, and like just slowly, slowly
and then people see your dream, they join you, and
(41:12):
it's happening. It is being built. I've done all the foundations.
It's all there, the big builds starting. We've just got
a huge partner. It's coming because we're doing it. We
took the step. We just did it, and there is
like Dubai you get like you know, this is something
that I can run for the rest of my life.
I don't look need to look pretty, I don't need
(41:32):
to look I don't need to really know what I'm doing.
Because it's a boutique hotel. Everyone's going to come because
they're going to want to like either meet us or
see if it's good, see if it's rubbish.
Speaker 1 (41:43):
Yeah, you know, but they're going to come out come.
It sounds I mean, I'm so excited for you. That
sounds like such a fun. Chapter two to do with
your new husband, Like hasn't been working with them?
Speaker 2 (41:53):
Well, he's been doing that. It's great. We don't argue
at all because we do different things. I think the
best thing is just to separate your your roles and
don't tread on each other's toes communication. It sounds like, yes,
and if you're working for the same thing, which is
your retirement together? Right then you're excited, like it's the
same thing. I think a lot of people do bet
(42:15):
and breakfast in America now, and things like this, like
just jobs or businesses that don't you could run for
the rest of your life, that don't really require you
to look a certain way, and that you can keep
the room rates going and you it's just an easy,
fun business and you get to meet nice people.
Speaker 1 (42:35):
And you know, I love this. I'm so excited about
this chapter in your life. I think that a lot
of women are going to be really inspired by your strength,
your knowledge. You know, I didn't know you before this interview,
and I just met you. I'm not a watcher of
any of the housewives.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
Don't why you weren't learning?
Speaker 1 (42:56):
Were you were on the Dubai right? Yeah, which I
can was very glamorous because, like I said, I never
saw it, but it sounds like such a wild ride.
Is there going to be another? Are there going to
be more episodes of the next Dubai Housewife?
Speaker 2 (43:10):
Actually don't know. We are paused at the moment. I
think quite a few of them, so I have no idea. Again,
you know, TV, you never know, That's why you can't
rely on it.
Speaker 1 (43:20):
Why did they posit? I think they can posit for
a million reasons, I guess, but I don't know.
Speaker 2 (43:25):
I think Dubai is quite hard, you know if first
of all, it's very foreign for them, you know, like
it's it's very expensive to come over here all the
way from the States. It's a very foreign place to film.
You've got to look at a lot more permits. It's
they're not used to having. We were the first reality
show here, so they've never had anything like that. I mean,
it's funny because I did Ladies of London in England
and we were the first reality show there too, and
(43:46):
it was just as hard, you know, because everyone didn't
understand what we were trying to do. And it was
called Real Housewives of Dubai, and then the Dubai government
were like, well, they're not like Real Housewives of Dubai.
That's not what Real Housewives of Dubai looks like, you know.
So it was it's just it's a different, very foreign
town to do it. But I think they're getting their
head around it now.
Speaker 1 (44:06):
Okay, well would you do it again?
Speaker 2 (44:09):
I don't know, is the answer. Right now. I'm very
happy out of it, like I'm a very happy, positive
person and these shows, you know, require you to go
head to head with a lot of women, and I
think you can see that I'm not that. I like
to build women. I love it.
Speaker 1 (44:24):
Maybe the shows need to kind of pivot their focus,
but maybe that won't be it's fun for people to watch.
I don't know. If it were me producing it, I
would absolutely be pivoting to women, supporting women and meeting
women like you today who are like, let me tell
you by manufacturer's name, let me tell you where to
take your money. I love that about you. You are
a giver to other women and that's awesome.
Speaker 2 (44:45):
Thank you, thank you, I mean, and it should be glorified,
like I would love a show like this too, So
I would love to do Building Barley and things like this.
Way you can still have the conflict and the fun
because obviously there's things that are going to be going wrong, right,
but you know, or or any business show with women,
right it is everybody's learning and everybody is trying to
(45:06):
get ahead, and we all are in the same position today.
Most women are divorced and looking for their next chapter.
And that is if women came together and helped other
women feel secure in what their next chapter looked like.
The world would be a very different place.
Speaker 1 (45:23):
Well, they can look to you so and to me, yeah,
and to you we've got something. Yeah, we've all got examples.
I say, definitely surround yourself with stronger, stronger women that
have been through more and learned more.
Speaker 2 (45:37):
Thousands week give you strength.
Speaker 1 (45:39):
Well, thank you so much for chatting with me today.
I really really enjoyed it.
Speaker 2 (45:42):
Thank you for having me. It's been amazing. Who knew
we had such parallel lies.
Speaker 1 (45:47):
I know it's weird when you talk to someone you've
never met before and things like that happen.
Speaker 2 (45:51):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (45:51):
Yeah, Well, good luck with your resort, retreat. What should
I call it?
Speaker 2 (45:56):
Retreat?
Speaker 1 (45:57):
Hotel? Oh, you retreat and your hotel you a lock
away on.
Speaker 2 (46:01):
Well I'm two years away from that, but I'm in
the middle of it all.
Speaker 1 (46:04):
Love it. Keep going, You're doing great. Thank you all right,
have a great thing.
Speaker 2 (46:09):
So nice to meet you. Bye bye.
Speaker 1 (46:11):
This conversation has been so incredible. Thank you Caroline for
joining me on the pod. If you're ready to level
up your chapter two, call us or email us. All
the info is in the show notes follow US on socials.
Make sure to rate and review the podcast I Do
Part two, an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is
the main objective.
It's I Do Part two and I'm Jenny Garth, one
of your hosts, and today I'm going to jump in
with a fascinating woman that has really refined what leveling
up can look like in your chapter two. You know
her from Bravo shows Ladies of London and the Real
(00:37):
Housewives of Dubai. She also hosts the podcast Uncut and
Uncensored and she is leading some incredible women's retreats that
I can't wait to hear about. So please welcome Caroline
Stanbury to the podcast. So, Caroline, you know, on this
podcast we talk all about finding love again, you know,
(01:00):
whether it's after been a whether it's been after a
divorce or a loss of a spouse whatever. But for
our listeners, can you just kind of like rewind and
tell us a little bit about your major relationship milestones
that you've gone through. And yeah, I think we should
start with that.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
I mean, I think you know, as a divorced woman,
I was married for eighteen years. I've got I had
three children. I think at that time they were probably
eight or nine when I got divorced, years old, and
I have twin boys. And then I had a daughter
that slightly she must have been twelve at the time.
And then I got divorced after eighteen years, and I
(01:39):
think after eighteen years you sort of lose yourself. I also,
at the same time managed to sort of lose my business, Yes,
get sued by a civil liquidata, and get divorced all
at the same time, me to twenty four year old
and marry him two years later. So I went all
the same year, no, well into three years. So yeah,
(02:03):
it was two years that I married. Yeah, I got
divorced the same year I met my now husband and
two years later we married.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
So and the year before I got divorced was when
I was started to be sued. So and everybody said
to me, don't this is a crazy time to get divorced.
This is the worst time you could And I knew
if I stayed it would be for the wrong reasons.
It would be because I was scared of the financial
outcome all of these things. So I literally had the
weirdest story because none of it should work. I was
(02:33):
forty three and I met a twenty four year old
who had lied to me and said he was thirty one,
which was still too young. But I didn't visit myself
married to him either, and here we are, so yeah,
we're here. We're seven years on and I'm not living
under a rock or in a council house by myself.
So somehow it is just all worked out. And I
(02:55):
want to tell whoever's out there. And you know, going
through these things that if you push on through these
times and the times that you think you will not
make it, the other side's pretty darn good.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
What do you mean when you push on through? Like
what did you resort to when it came to pushing
on through? Like what did you have to challenge yourself with?
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Well, I've given you a very very short version. I
was obviously, I was being sued, so at the same
time as getting divorced. You know, my ex husband hated
me obviously because I was marrying a twenty four year old.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Oh he wasn't fond of that idea.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Yeah. No, So you're dividing your assets then, But also
when you're being sued, the only way you can get
rid of an asset is in a law case. You know,
if you're being you know, it's giving it to an
ex husband so or to a husband or to a spouse.
So you're in these terrible terrible situation where you know
that you need that money. Actually, I mean in the end,
I won my whole case, but like that was a
(03:56):
lot further on, and I thank you very much. I
had probably twenty five thousand dollars left to my entire name.
I had rent to pay, mortgage, to pay, three kids,
a twenty four year old who may as well be
in another dependent at that stage, and just didn't know
what I was going to do or how I was
(04:16):
going to do it. And I'm a very pragmatic, very
very you know, strong woman. I've always run everything. I
had eighty six employees. I was, you know, I'm a businesswoman.
I can normally solve everything, and this was just something
I just could not solve. I couldn't pay. I'd paid
one point one pounds to lawyers if any money left
to do it. I didn't have any money left from
(04:37):
anyone to get from anyone. I couldn't work because if
I went to work, I wasn't getting the money anyway.
The lawyers were, so you know, it doesn't make you
want to go to work because you're not earning it.
Someone else is taking it. So that I was as
at bottom as I think you could get like, I
really didn't see a way out. But you know, I
(05:00):
also knew going back wasn't an option for.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
Me, right, you knew that. How did you feel about
going forward into a new relationship and really quickly a
new marriage, Like what was that process?
Speaker 3 (05:13):
Like?
Speaker 1 (05:14):
How did you bring yourself into that type of joy?
Speaker 2 (05:18):
I mean it wasn't all joy. I mean I went
to hospital twice. I think with panic attacks, anyone's you know,
going into a new relationship after an old one, you
kind of panic anyway, and you're going, what am I doing?
You're in a complete On the one hand, it brings
joy and lightness. And what I realized was if I
am forget the new guy, And that's what I want
to say. It's not about the new man. I never
(05:39):
left for him, but I had met him at the
end of my marriage, right, And what I feel is
that if you can have those feelings for someone else
and you're getting more, you know, this kind of joy
and feelings, then your other relationship isn't the one you
should have been in. You can't steal someone that doesn't
want to be stolen. I have plenty of marriage friends
(06:00):
whose husbands definitely wouldn't you know, jump because I said,
you know, let's go. It doesn't happen like that. You know,
it's one of you has to be get a ball.
And I think, you know, what I realized was it
wouldn't be fair to stay in my marriage because I,
you know, didn't feel like I was feeling with him anymore.
(06:21):
Regardless whether you know, my twenty four year old stayed
or not.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
How did you know it was time to get out
of your marriage.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
When I was happy at out the house than in it.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Ah, that's that's yeah, that's truth right there.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Yeah, And it's it's as simple as that. I got
asked that question all the time because I used to
have a podcast called Divorce Not Dead, which is now
uncut and uncensored, and I named it Divorce not Dead
because everyone goes, oh, I'm so sorry, and actually, no,
don't be sorry. I left, you know, and I left
for good reason. And actually, you know, it doesn't matter
how big your house is. I don't care how many
(06:58):
bedrooms you've got and how many and staff and everything
like this. If you don't love being in it, and
you don't love the person that you built it with anymore,
then you know you may as well, it doesn't matter
if you live in this, you know, tiny room I'm
sitting in right now. I'd rather be in this if
you've got you know, the biggest wealth to me is peace.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Yes, the biggest wealth is peace. That is very true.
I like that a lot. What what is your like?
How has that been co parenting with your three kids
with your access?
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Well, now it's perfect. We went through We went through
helen back, you know obviously, like he's a Turkish man,
he runs a very big business. You know, I did
the worst, you know, like it's the most embarrassing thing
that can ever happen to a man. You know, lots
of women men leave for younger women. Name me a
man that you know that a woman that's left for
(07:54):
a younger man and it's worked out because normally it fails.
And then ever we go haha, silly, old fool, right,
and so they kind of wait for that, and mine
hasn't worked out like that, And so, you know, I
embarrassed him, and I get that. I can completely see it.
So it took a long time, but he's a very
(08:16):
good man, and I think now he realizes we're all
in the right place, good and our kids are particularly
happy and we manage you know, he's got a girlfriend.
And the beginning was very hard because I really try
to do the right thing, which was like, you know,
when he was so upset about you know, obviously I'd
be like, oh, we can still have breakfast together and
dinners together. Well that's ridiculous. No, you can't. You can't
(08:38):
do that. You have to cut.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Cut tis you think that's the key, cut it key's
That's where for me too, Like I have to actually
like delete the contact, like I don't even want to
see the name.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Yeah, I mean I don't mind as much as that,
but I mean to keep any normalcy, cannot you know,
because you're actually lying to yourself, the kids and the
everything else. You just have to rip the off. I
have other friends of mine that were like they kept
their boyfriends or lovers or the people that they were seeing,
you know, even like after they've got separated from the
husbands so away from the children for like a year,
(09:12):
and they've been going out, you know, going out at nights,
staying in hotels, making their lives uncomfortable, and actually a
year and a half two years later, the reaction from
the kids is exactly as the same as mine was
day one, except mine's over and now they've got to
relive it, and they've you know, they still haven't really
moved on and had their life, because they're sneaking around
at night like they're having an affair anyway, even though
(09:33):
they're not.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Yeah, you, I too, am married to a younger man
and I two have three daughters, three kids, so I
can really relate. I was, Yeah, I was ready for
something new, and I knew I was at a point
in my life that I needed like energy and laughter
(09:55):
and that zest for life, you know. And I feel
like that he brought that into our home during a
kind of because it happened very quickly for me as well,
that we met and got married, and it was just
like this is this feels good. This felt good to me,
this felt good to the girls. So I kind of
felt like this is the right thing. So I just
(10:16):
kept going with and listening to my instincts. That's all
you can do. I think that's it.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
It's the instinct and the thing is I mean, you know, look,
obviously I do a different type of reality TV and
you do. But it's still a weird life for any
normal man, right.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Was he accustomed to that world your new husband, Sergia.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
No, he was a soccer player, so you know, I
mean he's accustomed to obviously a bit of a crazy
world because in real Madrid at seventeen, he had like,
you know, a lot of fans and things like this, right,
but no with cameras and living under a microscope and
also the horrible things I mean is, you know, people
love to write about you, especially if you're good looking.
And now he's with an older woman, so that must
(10:55):
be crazy. I'm that bought him, or he's gay and
all of these you heard it all, but yes, everything,
so but you know, I'm sure you I thought about
it long and hard. Like an older man my age
or old it wouldn't want the life I lead, you know,
all the open you know, the constant scrutiny from people,
(11:16):
and all of this, and I think you know, as
you said, the one thing that hit home as well,
it's just the laughter. I have everything else. I can
make everything else work, but I need to giggle, and
I need to like have my friend and we just
I wasn't friends with my ex, right.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Oh and that's the best feeling too, when you find
your new best friend that you just can't get enough
of and you want to stay with and just deal
all of your life with. I mean, it's exciting. It
brings us great excitement into your world. And I'm so
happy you found that you you got married six years ago,
is that right? A? Yeah, six years, six years ago,
and your husband you said, is a professional soccer player. Yeah,
(11:57):
that's very exciting, and I'm sure, yeah, all the hell
lines must have been bananas with with this whole situation.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Sex slave was sex slave.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
I never heave that one.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
I rented him. I don't even know how you do
that for that many years, but okay, I would rent
him if I could. Yeah, just loads of things, right,
which is really insulting to women, by the way, because
you know, men do this the whole time, all unders time.
Why it's so shocking. I'm like, you know, I'm such
a troll that no younger guy would want to be
with me. I don't get it. Were great. Older women
(12:30):
are amazing, amazing, amazing because we have so.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Much knowledge now and we've been through so many things,
and I think we've grown so much because you know,
and then also you, I think you're around the kind
of the age that I was when I know a
little bit different, but you take stock in what's important
in your life because you've had the experience of what
didn't work and what didn't feel right and what didn't
(12:54):
feel good, and you don't there's no going back to
that once you've gotten through it.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
No, you know exactly what you want, and I think,
you know, like I look at younger girls and friends
of his that are dating younger girls, and I'm he
rolls his eyes, like, you know, I've lost my passport?
Can you fix this? You know? They you know, it's
like everything, Oh, I just want a credit card to
go to amez. You know, that's that's it. It's like
they haven't there's no chat, there's no there's no confidence,
there's no like they're always waiting around for them and
(13:24):
the guy and everything's on him to do. Whereas you know,
I think I have such a big life already set
up that's so exciting. You know, you can go, you
can follow it, you can not follow it, you can
do It's just every day something's new.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
That first year that you got married remarried and you
did it quickly? Did were you ever? Was there a
point where you're like, oh my god, what did I
just do? Was there ever a point like maybe this
was a mistake, Maybe I rushed into this.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
No, I mean not when I got married. I think
you know, after after he kept pushing, No before sorry,
when he kept pushing before, I was like, Okay, everyone
told me he was love bombing me. This couldn't be true.
You know, all my friends that have been married eighteen
years or whatever, they were like, you know, in all
due respect, you're really great, but like, this is very weird.
(14:25):
This guy's flown halfway across the world to live with you.
He wants to be with your kids, you know, all
of these things. And then you start overthinking, and you're going,
maybe I'm wrong, Maybe I'm the silly old idiot, you're right.
And then I ended up having As I said, I
hospitalized my twelve myself twice. I was in my hair
salon in La and it was Nikki Lee, Nikki Lee.
(14:47):
I had to be taken out literally my ambulance with
the things in my hair. And I waited three months
for that, and I was going, now I was going
to leave with them. In another appointment. She goes, She's like,
take them out, we'll do it again tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Oh my god, you know.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
And then I'm going, oh my god, what have I done?
You know, I've blown up my whole fucking life and
I can't go back to What am I going to do?
Speaker 3 (15:06):
You know?
Speaker 2 (15:06):
And then of course you do think everyone's right. I
can't be the only one that thinks this is a
good idea. And no one thought this was a good idea,
you know, and everyone goes, he's going to leave you,
He's going to leave you. And then I was like,
you know, then I just woke up and I was like, well,
what do I care? Okay, it's going to leave me.
Great exactly, myke'x husband could leave me tomorrow. So so
what It's fine, You'll be fine. I'll be fine.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
And isn't that the best feeling? Like as a woman,
you stand on your own. It doesn't matter who comes,
who goes, who joins in with you, who enjoys, you know,
the ups and downs of your wild life, because it's
your life and you're living it. And you know, I
had I reached that point where because I was very
much more attached to staying and security of the family
(15:51):
and I didn't want to break it up, you know,
things to check where you're married. I was married for
seventeen years. Also, oh, similar to you story. Yeah, so
but I wasn't.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
I just I come from a different background. I think
has a lot to do with it where you stay
married and so that was really hard for me. But
afterwards it was, you know, the realization that because once
you attach once you like cling onto something and don't
want it to end, or don't want a situation to change.
(16:26):
Once it finally turns the corner and you make that change,
you make that adjustment, you kind of look back and think, look,
look what I just did, Like, I can do anything.
I can get through that. What's next? And you meet
a younger guy, he leaves you, So what here I
am again with myself.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
In the meantime, we're having great sex, having fun. We've
rediscovered ourselves. Like you know, I like, at the end
of most relationships off to that long you think you're
a sexual, you think you don't even like sex anymore.
You're like, Okay, I'll live without it for the rest
of my life. Yeah, maybe I should try, but yeah,
you never know, didn't go there yet, but you never know.
You never know.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
My daughter just told me last night we were watching it. Oh,
somebody got married that she knows two women and she
was watching their wedding on a video and she's like, Wow,
that just looks so nice, so romantic, so beautiful. Everybody
gets wear dresses, well, solways, an option bed, whatever you want.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
Eventually, exactly if I come from the same elk, like
you know, there was no divorce in my family. My
mother's initial reaction is get back in there and you
stick it out, right, And then you know, I thought
to myself, stick it out. I'm turning, you know, forty
at that time, forty five. I'm like, stick it out.
I've got another fifty years. Yeah, you're not going to
(17:44):
die tomorrow. You don't want to live the rest of
your life and lightless? Right? No, for what reason? And
then live a lie?
Speaker 1 (17:51):
Yeah, sticking it out sounds awful.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Lots of people do it and live the lie like
they have extramarital fairs which they keep to keep their family.
And then you know, like I don't understand because I
always say some of the biggest lies are in the
longest marriages, and that isn't a relationship for me. I
don't want that. Like if I have to come home
(18:13):
and think about the lie that I've got to tell
my husband every night so that he can sleep and
I can sleep, and I'm the only one not sleeping.
I don't know how people do it. I really, truly
do not know how you continue.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
I honestly don't either. Like I, one man has plenty
for me to like to manage, and he says the
same thing about me, like, there's no way he could
have an affair because he just wouldn't be able to
handle having to women, because it's a lot of work
being in a relationship, you know, like keeping it good
and growing. What about Like so after you got married,
(18:44):
and I know this firsthand, there is a difference. There
is an age difference. And I didn't ever acknowledge that
early in my relationship with my husband. I thought, you know,
that's ridiculous, and I don't. I don't feel any difference.
But there have been and we've been married for ten years,
this was our tenure. We've you know, we've been through
(19:05):
some stuff where I've gone second guess myself and thought like, wow, okay,
is this because he just hasn't grown through this period
of his life. He hasn't come to these crossroads personally,
so he really can't, you know, relate on the way
I want or hope he will. I have to kind
of meet him where he.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Is all the time. Of course, sometimes I literally want
to throttle him, because sometimes he's a husband, an amazing husband.
Other times it's like having another son, you know, in
the weirdest possible in the nicest possible way without it
being weird.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
But you know it can be because I'm teaching him
at the same time. You know how he'd never lived
with a woman. You know, I've had many relationships where
I lived with someone, compromised with someone, understood what a
man has to do in the house. I'll do this,
you do that. You know, I'm teaching him from scratch,
so you know, of course sometimes you go, oh, oh
(20:02):
my god, you know, but everything. I mean, I remember
lying in bed going, oh, top Gun, can't wait, and
he goes, what's tops What do you mean? What do
you mean? What's top Gun? I was like, where on
earth were you? And he wasn't born. I know, I'm like,
oh my god, and I have to remind myself of
these things. So yes, well, I mean, I get asked
this all the time that the big thing is how
(20:26):
we split finances. Everybody wants to ask me, the sex thing.
Everybody wants to ask me, And I think, you know
exactly that the age difference, sometimes the maturity. But again,
what I do do to settle my own head and
not go I haven't made a giant mistake, is I go, oh,
look at my friend's husbands, every single one of them,
(20:47):
And I'm like, no, it couldn't be with any of them,
not one, Nope, they're bitter. And then even just getting
on the phone to co parent with my ex husband
who now has a loving relationship and is in a
very good space and we get on quite well. Now,
you know, he still irritates that he bejeeves out of me,
like really drives me nuts. I'm like, he's a cup
is half empty person. You know, my son wanted to
(21:08):
go to Texas this year and he said, oh, I'm
flying to America or by himself twenty hours. What if
he gets sent home? I'm like, and you know, so
it's so different. And I'm like, well, if you get
so the worst case he doesn't get through the border
for whatever him, he's fifteen, Why wouldn't he get through
he's got an esther and and he's like, it's very
difficult to go to the States, And I'm like, okay,
so the very worst he gets, he gets all the
(21:29):
way there and has to come back. But if the
great otherwise he goes to Texas. This is amazing. Yeah.
So we're just totally different people. So I'm a doer
and he's a and I don't want to be in
a relationship where I'm where someone sees the rain, Where's
my husband sees a rainbow and wants to go dance
in the rain.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
What a difference it is. That's I'm so happy for you.
Do you feel like do you ever have your mom's
a resentment though, where when you feel like you're kind
of living with a boy man?
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Yes, yeah, of course I do. And I told I
tell him, you know, like you've got to step up
and do this way. How do they take that?
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Like, I'm curious how he as a man takes these
kinds of like you teaching him lessons or him coming
up to the war and facing he does. He's very receptive. Okay,
that's very receptive. You're very that's very good, very receptive.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
And actually we lean into some of the I mean,
it is quite funny sometimes to watch me because I
do forget, Like I'll tap him on the back if
I want him to straight, and it's like, oh my god,
it's a mom move and I forget, you know, like
and because my sons are massive too, by the way,
there's six foot so the three of them all behind me,
and they all borrow each other's clothes, and so I do.
(22:47):
It isn't lost on me. But you know, oh my god.
But like, you know, on the other hand, please I
don't want it to sound really weird. We do have
a husband wife relationship. What has he taught you to
relax through things so you know that it's never the
end of the world, like and the safety of first
of all, age, you know. I used to feel older
(23:09):
weirdly with my ex husband, Like if I got a
gray head, you know, grace when you're on a holiday
and you're like, oh my god, I need to find
you know, get my roots done, or you know, he
would tell me not on pobs, go a little bit
gray here or whatever. I would feel older. Where's my
husband now? Is Like we're traveling, He's like, oh, leave it.
I love it, you know, it's so weird. The thing
(23:31):
is he helps me in so many ways, right with
the kids, my businesses, so I do these even like
the women's retreats. I wasn't. I started doing women's retreats
and I teach financial independence and I teach women life
after divorce and investing and things like this, which is
really fun. And I wasn't going to have him, but
I one of my because I didn't think it was appropriate, right,
(23:52):
one of the camera guys couldn't come, And then he
did it all and then the women just loved having
him there. And he's not in the room when we're
doing all our talks and everything, but he was on
the island, and you know, he just he's my partner,
so like and because he's my husband, all the money
goes to the same pot obviously, and we're running around
doing things together, which means I don't travel alone. And
(24:14):
he's just taught me that life. I would have told
you there's no way on earth I would have worked
with my ex husband ever ever.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
Why it would have just been too frictious.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
Yeah, because I had a very big business before, and
I felt like, you know, he would have we would
always we were quite competitive with the money we earned
and all of these kind of things. And you know,
and then because he came in as younger and came
into my already built train, I feel like he was
more able to pick up the slack and do the
bits I couldn't do. And that now we're just a team.
(24:48):
You're a part the other partner partnership. So if he
does this, and if he's doing the work, then great,
and I've got the kids, or he's got the kids
and I'm doing the work. But somehow it's all working
right at the same time, and we're doing all the
businesses together, and we're traveling together. Because that was the
other thing, the distance. I think. You know, my ex
husband traveled for work, then I traveled for work, so
(25:08):
then you know, we just became there was such a disconnect.
Our friends were different. I wanted to be with my
girlfriends all the time. You know, my husband is my girlfriend,
and he loves being with my girlfriends. So it's just
I don't know, He's taught me so many things, you know,
so many things it's really hard to explain, just to chill,
you know, to enjoy work rather than just like I've
(25:29):
got to go to work. You know. I love that.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
It sounds like he's sort of brought you to like
a place of being able to sort of step back
and smell the roses and like have peace with yourself.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Well, you know when they say the work life balance,
come on, there isn't one rights not for.
Speaker 3 (25:46):
What we do.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
That's a lie. That's how Yeah, Like, if you're filming
for three months, how do you separate work in life?
You can't that it work is your life, right, So
the only way you can make it work is if
your life comes with you or your whole life is.
So that's that's what I feel like. My whole life
(26:08):
is in this house and this is where I walk.
I went from home.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
Yeah, if he's happy with coming along with you and
being a part of your big life, then.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
Go for it.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Like more power to you. That's amazing. Hey guys, it's
Cheryl Burke.
Speaker 3 (26:30):
Okay, So I have to put you onto these leggings
I've been so obsessed with lately. They're from this brand
called Tona and get this, the designer behind them also
created Lululemon, so they know exactly what they're doing. These
leggings are next level, think buttery soft, super flattering and
very comfortable. Also, they are supportive in all the right places.
(26:50):
I started worrying them for when I take my dog
on walks, but now I'm basically living in them. And
here's what makes them even better. Every pair you buy
helps fund a mental health counsel session for a teen
in need. Tona's on a mission to end teen suicide
and self harm, which we think is so important and incredible,
and we've partnered with Tona to give you twenty percent
off your order and free shipping. So head to tona
(27:13):
active dot com and use code iHeart for twenty percent
off and free shipping.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
I want to know more about the women's retreats though.
This is intriguing to me. I think I think I
heard you have one coming up in November. Yes, no
care tell tell.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
So it kind of started by actually I told you
I had this podcast called Divorce Not Dead, which I
changed because it was so niche, but actually I probably
shouldn't have changed the name. I love it anyways, So
I just thought I used to get written to all
the time, like how you know the transition through divorce
and women? I know very very wealthy women or not
(27:50):
wealthy women. Women that were married to very wealthy men,
you know, And there's always sort of this smugness about
wealthy women who've married well, and they go, you know
when I'm fine, Well, you know you're not not unless
he's put in your account. So let me just tell
you that right now. And you know, it's amazing how
poor they are the day you get divorced. So no,
(28:12):
beyond true. And I trust me. I live in the
Middle East. I see it every day. I'm sure literally
every day mine. It's nuts and they end up with nothing.
And I had like a girlfriend of mine, she had
seventeen homes before she was married. She was she was
married twenty years. She got nothing. She doesn't even know
ow an apartment. I mean, it's insane. So the little
money she did get, you know, the little money she
(28:35):
did get, now she sits on it in the bank
right because she's too scared. She's like, it's all I've got.
She does want to let it go. And that is
a understandable woman. And I think women have to understand
because I run meant multiple businesses and they come out
all the time. So I have a project in Bali,
I have the podcast, I have you know, airbnbs here,
I built the house. But this is this is by
(28:56):
the way, after four years of like almost going bankrupt, right,
I built all the back. I don't know how if
I really think about it. But that's why I started
these retreats, because if I had been scared for a minute,
I wouldn't have been able to do or build the
wealth I have back at all. But and I don't
know why I wasn't scared, but only that and the
(29:17):
other way, you have no choice. If you don't go
on and build it, what are you gonna do. You're
gonna sit on the piddly little amount you've got left
and just wait for someone to pay you a salary.
You have to make your money work for you today
or you'll always work for somebody.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
And that's it. And I'm thinking about I'm fifty. I
need passive income when you need to care.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
Yeah, you need that security because no one's going to
give it to you at this point. It's all I am, right,
So I think I had that realization too, where I
was like, this is my life there and I've been
an independent my entire life, never lived you know, never
accepted money from a husband or anything like that. But
I can absolutely put myself in the shoe a woman
(30:00):
who has And I thought about that a lot, and
you know, when I realized this is it. I am
on my own no matter what. I've got to figure
it all out or there is really no or that,
there's only.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
That option, there's no are, there's no or. And you know,
other women just sit there, going, well, someone else is
going to come along. Yeah, Well, you know today, with
the way the world is, there's such a disconnect between
men and women. They may not and they should be
prepared either way. It didn't matter.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
You can't depend on someone else for your life, basically, and.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
I teach that. And so when these women. I started
doing these dinners first, and I wanted to see who
would show up, and I had no idea. I was like,
I did one in New York. I was like, God
knows who's going to show off. And this is the
first person that came. I see this little old lady
coming across no across the road, and I'm going, okay,
and she goes Caroline waving at me, and I'm like,
oh God, this is going to be a nightmare.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
Wait, how did she find out? How did she find out.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
So I put it on my I put it on
my This was a dinner. It started as a dinner
that you could pay a ticket and come to the dinner.
I put on my Instagram. Who's in New York loved?
You know, I'm hosting a VIP dinner. So anyway, the
first woman comes and she sits down and she sold
her business to Warren Buffett. Okay, yes, okay. She then
(31:21):
made so much money she bought it back. She was
living in Mustique. She's about I think she was seventy
six when she came to the dinner. This is a
few years ago now. And another another woman came. She'd
sold a business for I don't know, three four hundred
million Australian, which is like two hundred million dollars. It
was the weirdest lasers. Yeah, getting divorced. And these powerful
(31:46):
women came right and I was, I mean, I was
the poorest person at the table by far, and Lee successful.
So I'm going, why are all these women why are
they listening to me? Yes? And then I understood women
want to like minded women. Okay, at this age, they
want to connect with women. They want purpose, They don't
(32:06):
need to make money. Any you know, they don't need
to make money, but they need to do something they
want the next thing they've done, they've already made the money.
You know, some other women came of of course it
hadn't made that kind of money, but they'd made a
nice amount of money. Some of them had grown up
in small towns, made a bit of money. And you know,
the people around them now resented them, right because they
became a little bit bigger than them. And they wanted
(32:26):
to connect with like minded women. And it was the
weirdest thing, and it became quite powerful. And then I
did this other one in Texas and one woman was
running for Congress, another woman was to one went to Princeton.
One had like all these treatment centers in LA like
amazing beautiful women, and they've all kept in contact with
each other. And I said, I'm actually doing something quite
(32:48):
powerful here. These women wanted to do business with each other,
they want to connect with each other. They're now doing
a reunion. I'm on a group chat with them and
I can see. I take everybody's see before they come
to the retreat, so I can see, Like on this
new one, I've got quite a lot of people who
are in real estate coming because real estate's really quite
an easy business for somebody who's starting out to invest
(33:11):
and doesn't know how to invest their money. And that
is probably the easiest way for a woman to build
wealth with not much, you know, not much education.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
Can I pause for you for a second, say, I'm
one of those women that doesn't have any money. Like
my husband wasn't wealthy. We're divorced. Now I'm still not
wealthy and I'm on my own. So how do I
even start?
Speaker 2 (33:34):
Well, I always tell the women, because I do, you know,
I tell you look around the house and see what
you can sell, liquidate as much as you can. And
you know, if you've got jewelry assets, any asset, get
rid of it and put it into a down payment,
because all you need to do is get on that
ladder and you can start with you know, it doesn't
(33:54):
have a one bedroom tiny I started with one bedroom apartment,
and then I started to build and to remortgage and
to get my next one and my next one, and
I got six and I don't know how.
Speaker 1 (34:08):
So you bought an apartment and then you flipped it,
rented it.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
Out, rented it out, renovated it. That as much as
I could re mortgaged it, used that mortgage payment to
do the next one, and did the same and started
building beautiful.
Speaker 1 (34:24):
This is not hard. That's not hard.
Speaker 2 (34:26):
It's on a cloud.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
No one has ever broken that down for me, like
no one has ever. Here's step one, here's step two,
here's step three. Yes, if you want to follow this plan.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
Yes, and that's what I do. So we sit there
until you actually can't walk away. The whole point of
the retreat is you walk away with an answer. Everybody,
and also the women that are in there. Some, as
I said, some are super successful and some aren't and
don't have the money, but they want to learn, right,
So everybody sits there and you actually get each other's opinion.
Speaker 1 (34:54):
I mean, that's what happens when women come together, are
strong together, any kind of woman, A week strong, doesn't
even matter. The energy just changes everybody's energy.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
The energy in that room was insane. But when I
break it down like that to you, and you know
I didn't have any money left. I didn't. I told
you I had twenty five thousand dollars and maybe that's
still for some people, a lot of money. I don't know,
but that wasn't. I wasn't sitting on a pile of cash.
I have six I have six and somehow I bought
this house. You can talk yourself into anything. My last
(35:28):
apartment I spent zero because I refinanced the others. I
didn't put a pound down, not one pound. And I
think it sounds so complicated that we over complicate, right,
But once you get going, it's truly not you know,
And you'd be surprised how much money if we're really
(35:51):
talking about you as sitting in your home in probably bags, clothes,
car I could think of quite a few things. You
can buy them back later when you've built a portfolio.
I remember when I have a mortgage guy here who
was helping me, and I said, I've got no money left.
I've got no cash left, and he goes, well, we've
been here before, haven't we, except you now have a
(36:13):
property portfolio. And I looked around and went, I do.
Speaker 1 (36:19):
You say it's label breaking? Like about breaking the labels.
Speaker 2 (36:23):
It's about, you know, breaking the mystery. I think people
like to over complicate business. Right, I've achieved this, but
I you know, because you're seeing the end, you're seeing
me at six or seven. But you don't seeing where
I started, right. Everyone wants the end, but they don't
know what the beginning was. The beginning. You know, I've
(36:43):
never started a business where I haven't literally had to
beg somebody for money to start, right, except for the
property business, I didn't beg anyone. I just literally said, okay,
you know, I'll save this that the mortgage. In fact,
your deposits are even less than we have to do here.
You in America, you can put very little down.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
I looked at the States too, yes, much less, so,
you know, and and there are so many good business
plans out there, Like I wanted to do Section eight
housing in America because I just thought that was just
such a great business. And I've looked at all of it.
You know, you want to do in America. You want
to do the things that are un sexy, right, The
(37:26):
businesses no one else wants to do in our in
our genre are the businesses that you want to take.
Those are the ones that make money. Car washers, no joke,
laundry mats, no joke, very little upfront, so unglamorous, so unglad.
That's necessity. They are also what do you call it,
(37:51):
my head's gone proof. Recession proof, the recession proof, and
that's what you're looking for. And then when you can
build it and you want to do something glamorously, to
go for it. But you know, I don't care about glamor.
I mean, you know, I always said that I would
do the I would do the depends the nappy, you know,
the one, the one for women's content that they want
(38:12):
to pay for me.
Speaker 1 (38:12):
Someone will see you to it.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
Yeah, exact why, I know, But like I'll take the
un sexy jobs they pay. Hmmmm.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
It's it's so interesting your perspective, and I love that
it's coming from this strong female financial Uh, you know,
I can make this happen for myself. And that's such
an important message to women, especially women that don't come
from wealth that finding you know, they're finding themselves kind
of starting over and it is very scary.
Speaker 2 (38:40):
It is scary, but you should take other people and
let them inspy you instead of let them threaten you.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
Yes. Absolutely. Big pivot for me was looking at other
women who have more than me, who are smarter than me,
who who have just you know, had more success than me.
I want to surround myself with those women because I
want to learn learn how they did it. I want
to I want to see what that looks like.
Speaker 2 (39:03):
That is the most important thing. You want to be
the most dumb person in the room if you're not
changed rooms.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
Because you're not gonna learn anything in that room. Right,
that's the thing.
Speaker 2 (39:18):
Nothing, and that's the most important thing. I don't think
you know, look, use it, use it. Listen to people
that have been through it, because you know, again, as
you said, no one's coming to save you. It is
so easy when you break it down and it's not
as scary. And a woman that's already there, that's achieved
something from nothing, and a lot of the people that have,
(39:40):
you know, really successful women today have come from nothing.
Look at people like Emma Grady, look at look at
all these women who have hard graph to get to
where they are. Right, they will give you a leg up,
they will give you their secrets. It's the ones that
haven't had to work for it that don't right. You know,
when I was building my first business, I was doing
(40:03):
like a netaporte online but for gifts. I remember the
founder of netaport and one of the one of the
first investors. She gave me her packaging company, her tissue
paper company, her gifting you know, the river everything, and
everyone was going stop asking her, and she said, no, no,
I'm there's room for everybody in this business. That's you know,
if you're a confident woman, there is room for everybody.
(40:24):
I'm not giving you my secret. There's no secrets, no secret,
you know, Yeah, there's no secret. The secret is. The
secret is I'm doing it. Yeah, hard work, get up
and do it. Just get up and do it. If
you can't afford to do it in your country, there
are other countries that you can afford to get to
do it in. I've just started doing it in Bali. Now.
I'd never been to Bali before.
Speaker 1 (40:43):
Oh my gosh, I heard your your you and your
husband are opening a retreat.
Speaker 2 (40:50):
Hotel, boutique hotel. I don't know how. I was so
dead against it. I've never I've been to Bali once
in my life. Don't didn't really like it, Like, I'm like,
why am I going? This was years ago now I
quite like it. I bought we bought the land. Then
I'm like, I don't know how we're going to pay
for the rest of it, and like just slowly, slowly
and then people see your dream, they join you, and
(41:12):
it's happening. It is being built. I've done all the foundations.
It's all there, the big builds starting. We've just got
a huge partner. It's coming because we're doing it. We
took the step. We just did it, and there is
like Dubai you get like you know, this is something
that I can run for the rest of my life.
I don't look need to look pretty, I don't need
(41:32):
to look I don't need to really know what I'm doing.
Because it's a boutique hotel. Everyone's going to come because
they're going to want to like either meet us or
see if it's good, see if it's rubbish.
Speaker 1 (41:43):
Yeah, you know, but they're going to come out come.
It sounds I mean, I'm so excited for you. That
sounds like such a fun. Chapter two to do with
your new husband, Like hasn't been working with them?
Speaker 2 (41:53):
Well, he's been doing that. It's great. We don't argue
at all because we do different things. I think the
best thing is just to separate your your roles and
don't tread on each other's toes communication. It sounds like, yes,
and if you're working for the same thing, which is
your retirement together? Right then you're excited, like it's the
same thing. I think a lot of people do bet
(42:15):
and breakfast in America now, and things like this, like
just jobs or businesses that don't you could run for
the rest of your life, that don't really require you
to look a certain way, and that you can keep
the room rates going and you it's just an easy,
fun business and you get to meet nice people.
Speaker 1 (42:35):
And you know, I love this. I'm so excited about
this chapter in your life. I think that a lot
of women are going to be really inspired by your strength,
your knowledge. You know, I didn't know you before this interview,
and I just met you. I'm not a watcher of
any of the housewives.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
Don't why you weren't learning?
Speaker 1 (42:56):
Were you were on the Dubai right? Yeah, which I
can was very glamorous because, like I said, I never
saw it, but it sounds like such a wild ride.
Is there going to be another? Are there going to
be more episodes of the next Dubai Housewife?
Speaker 2 (43:10):
Actually don't know. We are paused at the moment. I
think quite a few of them, so I have no idea. Again,
you know, TV, you never know, That's why you can't
rely on it.
Speaker 1 (43:20):
Why did they posit? I think they can posit for
a million reasons, I guess, but I don't know.
Speaker 2 (43:25):
I think Dubai is quite hard, you know if first
of all, it's very foreign for them, you know, like
it's it's very expensive to come over here all the
way from the States. It's a very foreign place to film.
You've got to look at a lot more permits. It's
they're not used to having. We were the first reality
show here, so they've never had anything like that. I mean,
it's funny because I did Ladies of London in England
and we were the first reality show there too, and
(43:46):
it was just as hard, you know, because everyone didn't
understand what we were trying to do. And it was
called Real Housewives of Dubai, and then the Dubai government
were like, well, they're not like Real Housewives of Dubai.
That's not what Real Housewives of Dubai looks like, you know.
So it was it's just it's a different, very foreign
town to do it. But I think they're getting their
head around it now.
Speaker 1 (44:06):
Okay, well would you do it again?
Speaker 2 (44:09):
I don't know, is the answer. Right now. I'm very
happy out of it, like I'm a very happy, positive
person and these shows, you know, require you to go
head to head with a lot of women, and I
think you can see that I'm not that. I like
to build women. I love it.
Speaker 1 (44:24):
Maybe the shows need to kind of pivot their focus,
but maybe that won't be it's fun for people to watch.
I don't know. If it were me producing it, I
would absolutely be pivoting to women, supporting women and meeting
women like you today who are like, let me tell
you by manufacturer's name, let me tell you where to
take your money. I love that about you. You are
a giver to other women and that's awesome.
Speaker 2 (44:45):
Thank you, thank you, I mean, and it should be glorified,
like I would love a show like this too, So
I would love to do Building Barley and things like this.
Way you can still have the conflict and the fun
because obviously there's things that are going to be going wrong, right,
but you know, or or any business show with women,
right it is everybody's learning and everybody is trying to
(45:06):
get ahead, and we all are in the same position today.
Most women are divorced and looking for their next chapter.
And that is if women came together and helped other
women feel secure in what their next chapter looked like.
The world would be a very different place.
Speaker 1 (45:23):
Well, they can look to you so and to me, yeah,
and to you we've got something. Yeah, we've all got examples.
I say, definitely surround yourself with stronger, stronger women that
have been through more and learned more.
Speaker 2 (45:37):
Thousands week give you strength.
Speaker 1 (45:39):
Well, thank you so much for chatting with me today.
I really really enjoyed it.
Speaker 2 (45:42):
Thank you for having me. It's been amazing. Who knew
we had such parallel lies.
Speaker 1 (45:47):
I know it's weird when you talk to someone you've
never met before and things like that happen.
Speaker 2 (45:51):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (45:51):
Yeah, Well, good luck with your resort, retreat. What should
I call it?
Speaker 2 (45:56):
Retreat?
Speaker 1 (45:57):
Hotel? Oh, you retreat and your hotel you a lock
away on.
Speaker 2 (46:01):
Well I'm two years away from that, but I'm in
the middle of it all.
Speaker 1 (46:04):
Love it. Keep going, You're doing great. Thank you all right,
have a great thing.
Speaker 2 (46:09):
So nice to meet you. Bye bye.
Speaker 1 (46:11):
This conversation has been so incredible. Thank you Caroline for
joining me on the pod. If you're ready to level
up your chapter two, call us or email us. All
the info is in the show notes follow US on socials.
Make sure to rate and review the podcast I Do
Part two, an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is
the main objective.
Hosts And Creators
Lauren Zima
Chris Harrison
Popular Podcasts
NFL Daily with Gregg Rosenthal
Gregg Rosenthal and a rotating crew of elite NFL Media co-hosts, including Patrick Claybon, Colleen Wolfe, Steve Wyche, Nick Shook and Jourdan Rodrigue of The Athletic get you caught up daily on all the NFL news and analysis you need to be smarter and funnier than your friends.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com