February 13, 2025 • 43 mins
America’s favorite virgin gets down and dirty with GG from Shahs of Sunset.
From her line of sex toys, to two short-lived marriages, to her decision to find a donor daddy, the reality show queen gets REAL about everything!
Plus, Tori and GG bond over emasculation, ejaculation, and forget polyamorous- Tori joins the sapiosexual club!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Misspelling with Tori Spelling and iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Gig.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
I don't even know where to start with you and
I because I feel like, fuck Kevin Bacon. It's like
six degrees of GG and Tory. We have so many
common denominators and links throughout the years that it's wild.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
We really do have so many connections, Like we have
so many commonalities. We know so many similar people, so
many similar circles. But I think base to base, like
in person hanging out with you and I. It's only
been like once or twice fourteen years ago with.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
My star or something like that.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Okay, so for everyone out there, let's go back through
our history. So I met you originally because my son Liam,
our preschool that we went to, we started in the
toddler program, so he was like, I don't know, young,
like sixteen months and it.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Was a whole new world for me.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
I was like a new mom, and I'm like, okay,
I'm gonna make mom friends and this is my new
chapter of my life. And your sister Laila was the
first friend I made. Oh nice, and her daughter, Jordan,
your niece, was Liam's first friend, and so she and
(01:38):
I used to like we would sit there because I
was like nervous. I came in and I felt like
judged just because that's my own shit. But I was like,
oh my god, is everyone looking at me weird? Do
they hate me? Do they have preconceived notions? And we
immediately connected and I was like, Okay, I like that mom,
and so we became friends. They became friends, and yeah,
(02:00):
she was like my best mom friend for so many years,
all through preschool.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
I mean I remember, I remember all the play dates.
I remember anytime I would talk to my sister, you know,
Jordan is playing you know, Tori's kids, and I was like,
oh my gosh, they're you know, they're really close.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Which is great.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
It's actually it's just very nostalgic as well, because we
grew up, you know, watching you on TV. And then
when you run into or your kids go to school
with someone that you feel like you've known.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
For so long.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
And I get it now because I was on TV
for so many years and like, the parents come up
to me, they think they are already friends with me,
you know, so but you were just you know, and
it was just like wow, to Harry Spelling and then
hearing how kind you are and how humble you are
and how down to earth you are.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
It was very nice, well she was.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
She was great to me because yeah, I felt always
felt judged, and she made me feel normal. Yeah, because yeah,
we would be there like it was weird like people.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
First of all, like half the.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
Moms were too like conservative and square and and just
like everything had to be like this way and that way. Yeah,
and Leila and I were we were in our sweats
and just like, oh we don't care, oh well, and
we would just sit there and like gossip in the
corner and be like the kids are fine.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Yeah, it's it's crazy. I don't have the energy for
those type of moms. I can't be one of those.
I'm just I go in pajamas. I did do drop
off in pajamas. If I've been homeworking all day, I
do pick up in pajamas. And that's just as good
as I get for me. But you know, I love
to volunteer. I love to do those kind of fun
(03:44):
things at the school. But that's as much as it
goes for me. And wait, your son is four. Now
he's gonna be well, he's four and three quarters according
to him.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Okay, Yeah, it's very important we throw that part in.
But he'll be.
Speaker 3 (03:59):
Five on one.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Five in April. He's just he's he's the best.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
And he now I won't say the name, but goes
to the preschool.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
That we went to. Isn't that a small world? Yes?
I love that school. I really do too.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
And you'd be so surprised the person, the woman in charge,
is still running the place.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
She's still there.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
So when Layla comes with my niece Jordan from my
son's school, things, it's just.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
It's such a small world. It's very nostalgia.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Did they still have farming animals there?
Speaker 1 (04:33):
They still do, and they've made it even better. They've expanded,
they've added more things.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
It's really cute.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Yeah, over the years we had.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Farm animals and then we didn't have farm animals, and
that school, God blessed them. Anytime I was like, we're
moving to a house in Hoa, we can't have farm animals.
They took my animals. So a lot of my animals
are still there.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Oh, I love that. I didn't know that, and I was,
you know.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
The kids, like I know, like you know, your goats
right now are not at home, but they're at school,
and it was the only school that not that they
had homework, but you know, as they got older in preschool,
it was the only school that understood when I said
the Goat ate their homework, like they were like, okay.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Yeah, probably a true story.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
Yeah, definitely, Oh my gosh, Okay. So when Shaw's of
Sunset started, I was immediately like, first of all, great show,
huge fan, huge fan.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
But I was really excited to watch because I was like.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
I know her, like well, I know her ish, I
know her sister, you know, and that was like a
big thing, like I felt a very like connective tissue
watching and but none of that, like all that aside,
Like I just always loved you because I loved your
(05:56):
voice and your willingness. And I think at the time
I found my voice now and everyone's like, oh my.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
God, she says everything.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
Yeah, but at the time I felt like very like, oh,
it was a perception of my life and what it was,
and I admired you because you just said it like
it was yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
Yeah, you know. I had to toot my own harm
on that.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
But I always have felt I felt like I've always
been a little bit ahead of everything in that happens
in life. So I just feel like, now, thank god,
we're living in this time where it's emphasized to speak up.
It's emphasized to say what's on your mind, to talk
about your feelings, to talk about mental health, to talk
(06:39):
about anything that's happening to you as a woman, as
a gay person, as a colored person. So I almost
feel like, gosh, where the fuck is all have all
you been?
Speaker 2 (06:48):
All these years?
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Like I've been doing this, but I was really culed
for it, and now you guys are on my bandwagon.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
I feel your sister in so many ways ahead of
your her. No, it's like is it ever going to be?
But then it catches up like to me, like you're like,
I don't know why I want to liken you to
Paris Hilton, but I do. Except she was a certain
personality but just as like massive interest and like everyone
(07:20):
wanted to know what she was going to say, what
she was doing. But you were like the opposite of her,
like the polar opposite. Like it was like she was
the angel, you were the devil but not really. And
it's like, yeah, like where we Oh my gosh, imagine
like if we could like go back in time, you're
too young. But like if you were like in the nineties,
like early two thousands, you'd be president.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Now, I gotta tell you, I really don't want to
go back to those pause.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
I don't want to go back.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
I'm like, there's a reason why I'm so outspoken and
so in your face and you know, capable of doing
that was because I grew up in a way that
made me conditioned to have to be, you know, enforceful
if I want to talk or if I want to
get my message across.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
And it's just as a mom now I get it.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Everything trickles back to how you're raised and if you're
heard in your house and if you are.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Nurtured in your house. So I don't want to go
back to those crazy days.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
I'm really happy for my journey and God bless reality
TV because I've been in therapy my whole life.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
But nothing is as therapeutic.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
As watching yourself on TV year after year, just changing
and changing and evolving.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
It's crazy.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
It's like you have videos of your therapy, se diary, right,
radio diary, dire life, and you're like, Okay, here's me evolving, Okay,
here's me slipping back down.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
And here I am again.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
I'm I'm like I always would say that, and I
think people probably thought I was really strange? Is reality TV?
To me was cathartic. It was my out. I couldn't
speak up for myself, but I felt a comfort, Like
when I did True Torri when my husband we had
a whole infidelity scandal. I people were like, are you
(09:12):
really filming this? And I was like, I can't speak
up for myself, but I feel this safety when the
camera crews are there that.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
I think that. I think the crew, they the production
in general.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
They are the pen. You know, they're the pen. The
show is the notebook and you are using. They're helping
you write your personal story. So I really I loved it.
It was very good therapy. But I think for a
reality show, number one to be good and number two
for you to gain.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Therapeutic aspects out of it, you have.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
To be fully just transparent, vulnerable to the process, and open.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
And you're gonna get talked shit about. Everyone's gonna troll you.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Whether you're none or you're you know, whore, It doesn't
matter what you do, they're gonna hate you.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
It's so true. Do you feel like you're polarizing.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
I think that I allowed my audience to have a
form of consistency when it came to my personality. It
wasn't just a seasonal thing. It wasn't just a one
story thing.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
It's just who I was.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
And I think by being me, it just now gives
me this platform to continue to be me, not trying
to fit any societal you know, expectations or norms or anything.
And when I look at my social media and stuff
like that, the differences between for instance, me and maybe
(10:45):
other castmates or other people on reality shows, they get
a lot of hate.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
They get a lot of like you're so pretty, or
you're so ugly, or you're so this. I'm not even
kidding you.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
If you look at my comments, it's just thank you
for this. You've taught me this, and you know, you
always so honest, You've always kept it real.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
And it's just.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Like, I'm like, Wow, now I'm at a point where
I can really kind of have an impact maybe with
my words, because I feel like now people are listening.
You know, I came out with cannabis a million years
ago before anyone was doing this.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
It was not a thing. You know, I beat everyone
to the punch.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
Unfortunately, you know, advertisers are not ready to promote these
things on TV because you know, the scheduling, it's a
federal substance, it's state by state.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
And then every Bravo.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Housewife wanted to come out with CBD, wanted to do this,
wanted to do that, ozempic, craze.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Oh my god, if I did.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
Not set off a whole storm of people coming out
with ozempic, you know, that was awesome. Having a donor child.
I got very ridiculed for that one. That was a
tough one, you know, being so super ridiculed to now
seeing how it's just becoming more and more and more
normal for women or men to say, I'm doing this
(12:03):
on my own.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
I can do it on my own.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
It's almost like you were the learning curve for everybody. Yeah,
and it couldn't have been easy, Like I'm sure there's
so much that you had to deal with and repress
and go through and maybe not repressed. But like the
fact that it all comes it's cyclical, all comes back
around now everything like you're pointing out that you have
(12:26):
done in the past. Everyone's like, yes, we support, we support,
but at the time, like I know what this is. Like,
it's hard to balance that shame when you want to
be authentic and you know what you want and you're
going to do it anyway, but it's like everyone's just
like no.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Right, right, That's what I guess at the end of
the day.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
That's just what being real. And I use quotes when
I say, but that's what being real is. It's just
staying consistent.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
To who you are or who your soul and heart is.
That is so true.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
And that's I struggle with this all the time personally
of like finding me and being me and still kind
of pigeonholed of what I was conditioned my whole you know,
nine or two when I was started when I was sixteen,
condition of what I was supposed to be, Like I
played the good girl, like I was the virgin, like
(13:19):
I'm not supposed to publicly have a voice, and then
one day it's like, oh my god, she has a
big voice.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Right, So it's like, did you have that same concept
where your character, for instance, on Beverly Hills nine o
two on zero, you felt like you had to be
that person at all times because that's what they expected
of you. Yes, you didn't try to say I'm trying
to prove that I'm the opposite I'm when you do
press or media or events, it was you were Donna Martin.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
I really didn't, but I didn't.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
I was.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
But here's the thing. I was born into that world
through my dad. It was like, so first I was
Aaron's daughter, and I was always kind of on display publicly.
So it was I picked up from a young age,
like I represent my parents. They never told me this,
but being five, I knew everyone's looking at my dad,
(14:14):
you know, and they know who I am, so I
have to be a certain way. And then that just
kept going. And then all of a sudden, I'm playing
America's most famous virgin, and it's like, oh, she's the
good girl and everyone's looking up to her. So I
wait a minute.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
First of all, you had a little bit of.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
A bitch before you were America's virgin on one of
my favorite movies of absolute all time, True Beverly Hills.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Oh my gosh, I did. I was.
Speaker 3 (14:42):
Yeah, I was fourteen. You were a little bitch, I know,
And that was so hard. I only had like what
two or three lines, but I was like, I was
like still, then I was like, oh my gosh, here
was this Beverly Hills girl. Like it was my first
like acting job. It wasn't my dad's thing. I was
like thrown out into the wilderness and I was supposed to.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Be the tough girl bitch, and I was like, no,
I'm actually just the Beverly Hills girl.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
I wanted to see into the pill That's where I
feel comfort.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
How here, how here? That's interesting. Yeah, I guess that's
the case.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
When you go on TV, film, movies, reality, it's just
society paints this picture and you you kind of get
stuck sometimes.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
But lucky enough, like you became famous being you right,
being real right, with a.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Lot of a lot of penalties attached to it, though,
a lot of ridicule, a lot of judgment, and you know,
just mean people. There's a lot of mean people in
this world. And it's not anything new.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
But I mean, it just doesn't change, and that's.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
Never going to change. And see, we see it happening
with our kids. I mean, my kids are older. We'll
see the bullying starts early.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
It does, it does.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
And I think that the more and more technology progresses,
the more physically disconnected humans get, the more easier it
is to hurt people because you don't have to.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Be there to watch what you've done. You know, it's
kind of like war. Before you there was a front
line and you were you know, damaged from that.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
But now it's just a push of a button. So
it's kind of just hurting people from afar.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
It's so true. Oh my gosh, where did this fucking
conversation just go all of a sudden.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
Sure, we just got like super intellectual look at the
big brains on us. Guys, we're doing a therapy show.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Now.
Speaker 3 (16:38):
I'd rather just talk sex toys with you, though.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
Yeah, we can do a lot of that.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
I have, actually, interestingly enough, right before this phone call Dennis,
which is my ex boyfriend, which you know.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
Your ex husband, we've talked about this. I'm not understanding
the timeline, but keep going, girl.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
There it's not good. It's not good.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
It's not There is no timeline. It didn't go in
any order. It was fused, and it was a lot
of lies and bullshit and betrayal. But you know it is.
He's my business partner. That's all he is to me
from here on out. He will never be anything out
a friend to me. I will never call him my
ex anymore. He's just my business partner. We have Intimately Gigi,
(17:23):
and we make really good sex toys for pleasure women.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
And I'm coming out you do make really good sex toys.
I'll tell you the story behind this in a second. Okay,
go on.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
Oh my gosh, I have to send you everything.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
And we just launched nipple covers three different shades, so
I want to get a little bit more broad in
the intimacy level, just not just sexuality, but just body
and you know all that stuff.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
I'll send everything to you.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
Oh my god. I'm a big like I should have
like fuck mad men, it should have been mad Toy.
Like I am brilliant when it comes to marketing. I
should be like a marketing coach for people. So if
you want to pass any ideas, because Intimately great name,
because you're right, it goes way beyond sex toys, like
(18:12):
you can go expand into anything that's intimate that people
love it being.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
Could be any intimacy. I'm now secretly which is keep.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Parts of a secret.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
We are working on a brand new product which will
be catering to men.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
So I'm really anxious.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
About this one because it's a very popular thing that
it's very popular in stores.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
For men and cockering. It's growed out, have been so
easy to come out with. No, it's it's you're on
the right track.
Speaker 3 (18:47):
Oh okay, wait, tell me we can play this kid
game like cool hot warmer.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
I would. It would require molding of stuff.
Speaker 3 (18:59):
Happening, molting, like, wait, are we a mold mold? Oh,
a mold of a penis?
Speaker 2 (19:09):
But it's for men. It's I'm doing it for men
me personally.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
It's something personal I'm giving.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Is that a thing you need?
Speaker 1 (19:30):
You need to put that label down copyright. You're on
the right, You're on the right.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
Shock though.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Okay, okay, so we won't see what it is, but
oh my god, I'm fascinating.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
We'll see it soon. We'll see it soon. It's gonna be.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
Everyone pussy and men can never leave the house again.
They don't have to because they could just right. I mean,
they master I feel like men masturbrate some many times
a day. They I don't know how they get through
their day or go out or like get things done.
But that's why women get everything done, uh, because we
can think for ourselves and them.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
And I'm going to do.
Speaker 4 (20:05):
I had a really cool idea to put a special
secret QR code inside that box and there will be
a very risque.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
Video of me so they can enjoy the product while
watching me.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
Wait, does the QR code like you how on your phone?
You like take a picture?
Speaker 2 (20:29):
If you buy a code inside and then.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
You link, so then it so when they ejaculate, does
it stimulate the QR code?
Speaker 2 (20:38):
Gg?
Speaker 1 (20:41):
Where were you and I needed to start marketing right?
Oh my god, my god, we need that.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Though. That's a great idea. That's good. I'll pitch that.
Speaker 3 (21:02):
Are you coming out with loop?
Speaker 2 (21:03):
Do you have loop? I don't have any Loop?
Speaker 1 (21:05):
I don't, But that's also a great idea to come
out with loop. I just feel like so many people
have so many sensitivities.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
And skin and this and that. I get a little
nervous about stuff like that.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
But oh, I hear you on that one.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
I have everything, though, I have Lord.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
I think we have like seven or eight products now
for women different toys.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
You have twelve? Do I have twelve? You have twelve?
Oh my god, Oh my god. Did a deep dive.
Oh my god. It's doing well. So there you go.
It's doing well.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
Phenomenally.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
Well, it's doing well, and so we just keep coming
out with new products and it's fun. I mean, it's
interesting because sex will always exist. And like we were
just saying a couple of minutes ago, the more you know,
technology and more advance we get with just times.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Women are more independent. Women are now.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Bosses, their CEOs, their owners. They're running a side said boxes. First,
they don't.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
Need a man in order to get off. They don't
want to have the bomb. They need a quick you know,
or like vibration. Three you know what I mean, I
do know what you mean.
Speaker 3 (22:21):
And eventually, I mean, look, you didn't sperm donor like hello,
But we don't want to make them extinct because they're fun.
We don't want to make the useful.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
They're good body heat, Oh.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
They do stay warm?
Speaker 1 (22:38):
Yeah they two, they too, but toy. I didn't have
sex for almost seven years, so up until last year, last.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
Like May or June, a conscious decision.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
Not well in the beginning, so I got I went
through a year and a half of e yeah to
get pregnant. The first one it ruptured and I lost
both my filopian tubes.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
So immediately I waited to healed.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Three months later, I was pregnant again and I had
my son right when COVID started. So then we go
into two years of lockdown. I have this new well
you know what I mean. I didn't want to expose him,
and then it was just like, how do I date?
Speaker 2 (23:23):
How does this work? How do you do things? Everything? Swiping?
Speaker 1 (23:28):
And I've never done online stuff, so I'm like, I
just felt uncomfortable. I didn't wanted to want to go out.
I wanted to be with my kid. I fell awkward
and so it just wasn't happening for me. And I'm psychiosexual,
so I need to get mentally stimulated to have sex.
Speaker 3 (23:43):
Okay, yeah, I was going to say, can you clarify
that for our Yes.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
I'm turned on by brains like people's minds, so I
don't have like a particular physical type.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
Oh my god. Wait, Okay.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
When I said can you clarify that for our listener,
I meant for me and I was trying to be cool.
Ask him for a friend.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
Nobody knows what it means, nobodys.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
I think you just defined what I am.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
There. You go see everyone says that they're like, oh
my god, is that what it's called it's about the brain.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
I'd rather be turned on by the brain.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
Absolutely, say it again. It's s a p io sexual.
Speaker 3 (24:29):
No, shoot, there's no tea in there. I can't put
my name and I put my name into everything. Okay,
I'll share it out later.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Yes, it's it's How did.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
You come to know this?
Speaker 1 (24:40):
Because at one point I started thinking that I was polyamorous,
and I realized because I don't have jealousy in my body,
I don't have I don't care about sex. Is not
a symbol of faith to me because I'm a mental person.
For me, cheating on me, Like if you're emotionally invested
(25:01):
in someone else, now I feel cheated on. But if
we are having a conversation and you find someone attractive,
and guess what I'm If I'm not doing it for you,
or if I'm busy or if i'm traveling, I don't
have a problem if he wants to hook up or
get his deck sucked or something like that. So I
was like reading all these things like what makes a
person like this, and polyamory came.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
Up and I was like, Oh, maybe that's what I am.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
But then I realized it's not polly because I don't
want to have multiple boyfriends. I just want to have
one boyfriend and I want to be his only girlfriend.
And I just want there to be an understanding of
who I am and who he is, which is just
impossible because I want space and relationships.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
I want a lot of space.
Speaker 3 (25:46):
Oh my god, is it possible we were twins in
another lifetime. I'm not sure what's.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
Cheating space when you have so many kids.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
You are banging your husband a lot to make that happen. Sorry,
I was that was no space.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
Space.
Speaker 3 (26:06):
But for me, I think I'm still I'm fifty one
and I'm trying to figure this out now as a
single mom of five, like suddenly not married, and I'm like,
what is going on? Who am I? Because I think
from a young age being on TV and being sexualized,
(26:26):
I guess you know, that was my self worth was
if I you know, if a guy thinks I'm pretty
or he likes my body. And it was the nineties,
so there wasn't you know, no one's calling hr. There
wasn't oh my gosh, that's inappropriate kind of anything went.
No one knew and you know, we had a young
(26:49):
cast and good looking guys and girls and there was
no blurred. It all blurred, like you know, walking onto
that set, you were like, oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
If the boys went up and were like, oh my god.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
I would always wear like belly shirts they called the
time crop tops, and the boys would be like telling
everyone else like, look, oh my gosh, look how tiny
her waist is, and I'd be like, oh yeah, yeah,
you know, and showing like people, I can put my
hands right around her waist. Well, if they didn't do
that or make a comment about my boobs, I was like, oh,
something wrong with me, like, and it wasn't inappropriate. We
(27:23):
were all good friends. No one knew. We all grew
up together on TV and very young promiscuous, like we're
all sexually you know, like excited, and we didn't know.
And so that carried on through my whole life, thinking
I had to be pretty, not use my brain, not
you know, be funny. But it's like all of a sudden,
(27:44):
it took years for me to realize, well, Okay, I'm pretty,
I have a good body like whatever, but I'm also
really smart and if someone doesn't stimulate me that way,
I'm kind of not there.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
But it's still.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
Blurs going back and forth because I still have that need,
especially for social media. Yeah, I go down the rabbit
hole and seeing.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
Everybody post all their gorgeous.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
Pictures and how hot they look, and I'm like, am
I supposed to be that?
Speaker 2 (28:14):
Am I just supposed to be brilliant?
Speaker 3 (28:15):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
Yeah, I'm actually I'm creating an app right now which
you're gonna love it. It's it's a dating app, but
it's very specialized. It's very specific. It's there's never been
anything like this. I'm out there, so I'm really excited
about this. I'm in the creative phase. I'm putting my
team together right now.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
But it's hard. It's really hard. Can I be the beta? Yeah,
the beta.
Speaker 3 (28:41):
I'll be your guinea pig, Like, just let me me
test it. So I've never done dating apps that I
used to be like, that's so funny swipe because at
the end of the day, if you don't put a
picture one of those dating apps, no one looks at you.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
They swipe. So it's just saying, this is very surface.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
So I want to go beyond that, and I'm designing
something that it's not. It's just I can't even say
anything right now. But it's just going to go beyond
that because we are a world right now where.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
It's called woke. Right, that's what it is.
Speaker 3 (29:14):
It's woke world, and I like cooks, think so, and
then I can't deal with the word woke.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
Right.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
The more face app and face tune and these things exist,
and the more we use them, because we all do.
The more we use them.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
There's also a larger desire.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
For more realness on the opposite end, because now we're
craving more natural people be like, look at that, that's
a natural beauty, as if it's one of the eighth
wonders of the world, you know, think her boob, centered
her nose and look at that. Like, I don't know
anyone who hasn't had everything done. You know, I've had
everything done.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
So it's just it's but you see the statistics. I
read a lot. I read from morning tonight.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
So the statistics are showing that people want a different
type of interaction now. They're tired of swiping, they want
more in person chemistry vibes.
Speaker 2 (30:09):
So it's just I.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
Think we are there, and you're getting there now you're
learning that that's who you are, you know. I feel
like this has always been who I was. But I'm
also coming from the eighties, nineties, two thousands, where if
a woman said she doesn't want to be married or
doesn't believe in marriage, they think either she's a lesbian
of some sort or something must be wrong with her,
she must have been heartbroken of something. And she was like, nothing, neither.
(30:35):
I just I want a partnership. I want someone to
vibe with. I want to be the boss of my home.
Though I want my child to be mine, I don't
need to have that. I just want a dude that
can be my dude, my friend, and we do all
that relationship stuff. So I went this route. I had
a donor. I got married once for seven weeks for
(30:59):
a certain reason, and got married again for one week
for another reason. You know it's wait, you were married before, Dennis.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
Yeah, I was married for seven weeks. How did I
miss this girl? His name is Shaloon.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
We were married for seven weeks and I filed and
it was a long, dreadful divorce process, very long.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
He was really upset with me, so he dragged it.
Speaker 3 (31:24):
But and not believing in marriage is what I'm hearing, Like,
what made you decide to marry him?
Speaker 1 (31:41):
Schalem needed something, he needed some help with something, and
we were in a relationship. It was like, you know,
I'm picking up what you're putting down. Okay, yeah, so
you know I was like okay, but then it turned
into immediately my wife, my wife, my wife, you're my marriage. WHOA,
(32:01):
that's not what I signed up for.
Speaker 3 (32:03):
So file I think I said once in my podcasts
and people were kind of that I don't know if
I believe in monogamy, but not monog I like to
start now on this. My friend calls me Tory two
point zero. I'm just like learning about life, but redefining
(32:24):
words that have been taught to us and defined and like, oh,
you can google that, here's what it means. It's like, okay,
that's what it. Who told us I'm supposed to mean that?
Why don't we take words and make it work for us.
So I'm not saying I don't believe in just being
with one partner. I do, like I don't want to
be with different partners. But I guess it led me
back to the whole connotation of marriage. And I feel
(32:49):
like I see so many relationships that are so good
and then they fall apart once the they say that
I do is they signed that paper, and.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
It's like, yeah, I mean, I really don't understand it.
It's it's I don't understand the concept of marriage. You know,
it used to be to form you know, treaties and
combine power and land when we were in caveman kind
of shit and ruling dynasties and those eras where you know,
(33:20):
the king of this country wanted to unite with the
king of this country, so they married their kids to unite.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
Marriage was a business deal, always, always.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
But now it's turned into well, for a while, I
would say, up until the last five ten years, it
turned into if you're not married, something's wrong. You're supposed
to get married. You go to school, if you go
to college, you get a job.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
You get married, you have kids, and then you die.
Like that was life. That was the story.
Speaker 3 (33:48):
I mean, I did all of that except oh my god.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
Yeah, it's time to live. It's time to live because
there's a whole world out there that you know, you
can do it in any order you want. You don't
have to even be a part of the order if
you don't want. I'm not talking about being radical, that's
a different level, but I mean, if you want to
be married, get married. If it means something to you
and it does your partner, do it. But don't expect
(34:16):
marriage the concept to become this ruling power of love
and unity forever.
Speaker 2 (34:23):
Nothing's forever nothing.
Speaker 3 (34:27):
Right now, What do you think of the word emasculating.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
I think I'm very good at it.
Speaker 3 (34:41):
Emasculation another form of ejaculation another male like. It's just
I've spent my whole life trying to make men not
feel emasculated to my own demise that. It's like whether
relationship with a partner, whether business, and it sucks.
Speaker 2 (35:02):
Yeah, that must suck. I was never like that fucked out, Sorry,
but I could never.
Speaker 1 (35:08):
I think you are masculating a man by trying to
not emasculate him, because you are just robbing him of
actual strength and power by thinking you're giving him that.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
Giving him power is by showing him who you.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
Are, because saying this is what you chose, because that's
what you're capable of having. Here, I am, this is
my strength. See how capable you are of having me.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
That's how I.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
Consider a man like you are lucky to have me
in your life. I'm going to make you better.
Speaker 3 (35:42):
Can you be my life coach?
Speaker 2 (35:44):
Yeah, join my tech t put.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
A QR code on that if you want.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (35:51):
It was just always like, but men always are like, uh,
you're not doing it to me, But I feel emasculated
if you're more successful than them.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
That's such a cheesy, man, What does success have to
do with your manhood?
Speaker 2 (36:07):
I get it. For a long time, men.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
Felt the need to have to be the provider and
the caretaker.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
And that's okay. In certain places. I allow that because
as far as our species goes, our species is led.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
Man is more powerful than woman is physically, So in
those things, I do.
Speaker 2 (36:25):
Allow a man to feel like he's more physically capable.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
In certain things because truth of this, I may not
be able to open the jar, and sometimes I might
be able to, and I'm like, honey, can you open
this warm? Because I know that that's going to make
him feel like he's strong, he's.
Speaker 2 (36:41):
Taking care of me. You know. Those things I'm okay with.
But that's as fire as it goes.
Speaker 1 (36:47):
I'm very I'm a Sagittarius, so I'm a very logical person.
If I'm having sex with a guy, I'm going to leave.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
I'm going to go home. Right after.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
I don't want to cuddle right away. I want to
kind of just my space. I want to do my thing.
Thank you for the evening. I'm not upset, you know
if I don't get text messages or I don't get
a callback, and you don't need to say I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
I understand life happens, you don't.
Speaker 1 (37:13):
You know it's okay. I either make a choice that yes,
this works for me, or no it doesn't, and I
walk away my questions for you.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
I could talk to you all day night. I'm like
a robot that Tori.
Speaker 1 (37:26):
I tell you any man way me is will tell you.
It's not I'm not a heart this, I'm full of
it heart. I just am logical.
Speaker 2 (37:36):
That's all. Vulnerable though I can't be.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
I think when I'm in a in a situation where
a man allows me to be fully in my feminine,
I can finally be vulnerable.
Speaker 3 (37:52):
You know, that's exactly it. When a man allows you
to be in your feminine.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
It's hard because a man himself has to be so
masculine that he enters his feminine in order for a
woman to enter hers. So when I am in those situations,
oh my gosh, I turn into this most incomfident little
baby that I want to just feel safe and nurtured.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
And but it's very rare. It happens, but it's rare,
But I would like that. And until I find a.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
Mae who can make me feel that way, I just
stay single, keep dating.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
I don't date though, How do you fucking date in
this city?
Speaker 3 (38:31):
I don't know. I don't know either, I don't know.
And at fifty one and suddenly, like, after being in
a relationship for twenty years, I'm like, your relationship.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
Was rocky right throughout. You guys had ups and downs.
Speaker 3 (38:46):
Yeah, the whole time, a lot of a lot of passion.
You know what I got to say, parenting And this
is where you got it right, Like parenting was the
biggest to ruining our relationship. Does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (39:03):
The kids were the.
Speaker 3 (39:04):
Greatest part of our relationship because we did. We created
five beings out of love and passion.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
We really did.
Speaker 3 (39:13):
And then suddenly when we had to parent them and
things you never discussed before marriage, parenting styles, or maybe
you don't even know you have different parenting styles. I
feel like that should be if you're going to be
on an app, it should be like, and you have kids,
you should be like, what's your parenting style? Because it's
just I don't know. I don't know if we can
ever stay with the man we create humans with, right,
(39:35):
because it changed our relationship and we were those types
that we were like, we want kids so badly together
and we were both like we were both married before
and he had kids, I didn't, and I we were
just like, I don't want our relationship to change, and.
Speaker 2 (39:54):
It did.
Speaker 3 (39:54):
The moment I got pregnant, everything changed.
Speaker 1 (39:59):
That's interesting when pregnancy change not from having the child.
Speaker 3 (40:03):
Correct, because the moment I found out I was pregnant,
I changed.
Speaker 2 (40:09):
Ah, there it is.
Speaker 3 (40:11):
And he didn't even know he was doing this, but
you know, the shift happened.
Speaker 2 (40:18):
He was my world.
Speaker 3 (40:19):
The focus was on him, and as soon as my
new world was being created within me, I was all
about that baby. And it's just the dynamics slowly.
Speaker 1 (40:32):
Isn't safe to say I mean without being mean or anything.
Speaker 2 (40:35):
But would it be safe to say the narcissist.
Speaker 1 (40:42):
If the tension shifted onto something else that wasn't on
him anymore?
Speaker 2 (40:47):
I don't know. But here's what.
Speaker 3 (40:52):
I've come to learn about narcissists.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
They come in different and sizes. There's extreme ones, there's
regular ones.
Speaker 3 (41:01):
And there's like so many differ If you look up narcissism,
there's so many different types of narcissists. Like there's five
I think main types, and the kindest human might fall
into like I don't know if it's called emotional narcissist
or something.
Speaker 2 (41:14):
But it's I don't know. And then are we to
say or do we? Are we all a little bit narcissistic.
Speaker 3 (41:21):
Like in some way to a degree because we think
of narcissism, we're like, oh my god, it's somewhat horrible
and bad, and it's like.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
No, but I'll tell you.
Speaker 1 (41:31):
Something that's always said in psychology is that the person
who wonders if they are narcissist is usually not. Oh,
if you internally wonder if you are, not externally with conversations,
I wonder I'm a narcissist. No, no, no, But if you
actually wonder like I'm a narcissist because I did that,
that means typically you're probably not, and you're just thinking
(41:54):
of yourself in a better form and you've placed boundaries.
A lot of people confuse boundaries and self worth and
value with narcissism.
Speaker 2 (42:03):
But when you, like you said, you took attention.
Speaker 1 (42:07):
And all of that away immediately, and it went onto
this human you're creating and your tummy.
Speaker 2 (42:13):
And now he's deprived.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
You know, this thing you were nurturing, this human you
were taken care of and giving that attention to, and
is now feeling this deprivation.
Speaker 2 (42:22):
So it just comes differently, I guess. So we went
on and had four.
Speaker 3 (42:26):
More, right, and I think what never talked about this
with anyone. I think if we had to really think
about it, perhaps our connection really was it was sexual.
It was wow nice, which is odd because again, what
(42:46):
am I now? I'm a what's the word?
Speaker 2 (42:49):
I said? Po sexual? S A p io sabio.
Speaker 3 (42:52):
I'm a sapio sexual. Yes, Hi, I'm Torrian, I'm a
sapio sexual.
Speaker 2 (42:57):
Hi, Tari, welcome with that press fuckers
Misspelling with Tori Spelling and iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Gig.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
I don't even know where to start with you and
I because I feel like, fuck Kevin Bacon. It's like
six degrees of GG and Tory. We have so many
common denominators and links throughout the years that it's wild.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
We really do have so many connections, Like we have
so many commonalities. We know so many similar people, so
many similar circles. But I think base to base, like
in person hanging out with you and I. It's only
been like once or twice fourteen years ago with.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
My star or something like that.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Okay, so for everyone out there, let's go back through
our history. So I met you originally because my son Liam,
our preschool that we went to, we started in the
toddler program, so he was like, I don't know, young,
like sixteen months and it.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Was a whole new world for me.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
I was like a new mom, and I'm like, okay,
I'm gonna make mom friends and this is my new
chapter of my life. And your sister Laila was the
first friend I made. Oh nice, and her daughter, Jordan,
your niece, was Liam's first friend, and so she and
(01:38):
I used to like we would sit there because I
was like nervous. I came in and I felt like
judged just because that's my own shit. But I was like,
oh my god, is everyone looking at me weird? Do
they hate me? Do they have preconceived notions? And we
immediately connected and I was like, Okay, I like that mom,
and so we became friends. They became friends, and yeah,
(02:00):
she was like my best mom friend for so many years,
all through preschool.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
I mean I remember, I remember all the play dates.
I remember anytime I would talk to my sister, you know,
Jordan is playing you know, Tori's kids, and I was like,
oh my gosh, they're you know, they're really close.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Which is great.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
It's actually it's just very nostalgic as well, because we
grew up, you know, watching you on TV. And then
when you run into or your kids go to school
with someone that you feel like you've known.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
For so long.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
And I get it now because I was on TV
for so many years and like, the parents come up
to me, they think they are already friends with me,
you know, so but you were just you know, and
it was just like wow, to Harry Spelling and then
hearing how kind you are and how humble you are
and how down to earth you are.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
It was very nice, well she was.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
She was great to me because yeah, I felt always
felt judged, and she made me feel normal. Yeah, because yeah,
we would be there like it was weird like people.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
First of all, like half the.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
Moms were too like conservative and square and and just
like everything had to be like this way and that way. Yeah,
and Leila and I were we were in our sweats
and just like, oh we don't care, oh well, and
we would just sit there and like gossip in the
corner and be like the kids are fine.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Yeah, it's it's crazy. I don't have the energy for
those type of moms. I can't be one of those.
I'm just I go in pajamas. I did do drop
off in pajamas. If I've been homeworking all day, I
do pick up in pajamas. And that's just as good
as I get for me. But you know, I love
to volunteer. I love to do those kind of fun
(03:44):
things at the school. But that's as much as it
goes for me. And wait, your son is four. Now
he's gonna be well, he's four and three quarters according
to him.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Okay, Yeah, it's very important we throw that part in.
But he'll be.
Speaker 3 (03:59):
Five on one.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Five in April. He's just he's he's the best.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
And he now I won't say the name, but goes
to the preschool.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
That we went to. Isn't that a small world? Yes?
I love that school. I really do too.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
And you'd be so surprised the person, the woman in charge,
is still running the place.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
She's still there.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
So when Layla comes with my niece Jordan from my
son's school, things, it's just.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
It's such a small world. It's very nostalgia.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Did they still have farming animals there?
Speaker 1 (04:33):
They still do, and they've made it even better. They've expanded,
they've added more things.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
It's really cute.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Yeah, over the years we had.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Farm animals and then we didn't have farm animals, and
that school, God blessed them. Anytime I was like, we're
moving to a house in Hoa, we can't have farm animals.
They took my animals. So a lot of my animals
are still there.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Oh, I love that. I didn't know that, and I was,
you know.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
The kids, like I know, like you know, your goats
right now are not at home, but they're at school,
and it was the only school that not that they
had homework, but you know, as they got older in preschool,
it was the only school that understood when I said
the Goat ate their homework, like they were like, okay.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Yeah, probably a true story.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
Yeah, definitely, Oh my gosh, Okay. So when Shaw's of
Sunset started, I was immediately like, first of all, great show,
huge fan, huge fan.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
But I was really excited to watch because I was like.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
I know her, like well, I know her ish, I
know her sister, you know, and that was like a
big thing, like I felt a very like connective tissue
watching and but none of that, like all that aside,
Like I just always loved you because I loved your
(05:56):
voice and your willingness. And I think at the time
I found my voice now and everyone's like, oh my.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
God, she says everything.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
Yeah, but at the time I felt like very like, oh,
it was a perception of my life and what it was,
and I admired you because you just said it like
it was yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
Yeah, you know. I had to toot my own harm
on that.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
But I always have felt I felt like I've always
been a little bit ahead of everything in that happens
in life. So I just feel like, now, thank god,
we're living in this time where it's emphasized to speak up.
It's emphasized to say what's on your mind, to talk
about your feelings, to talk about mental health, to talk
(06:39):
about anything that's happening to you as a woman, as
a gay person, as a colored person. So I almost
feel like, gosh, where the fuck is all have all
you been?
Speaker 2 (06:48):
All these years?
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Like I've been doing this, but I was really culed
for it, and now you guys are on my bandwagon.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
I feel your sister in so many ways ahead of
your her. No, it's like is it ever going to be?
But then it catches up like to me, like you're like,
I don't know why I want to liken you to
Paris Hilton, but I do. Except she was a certain
personality but just as like massive interest and like everyone
(07:20):
wanted to know what she was going to say, what
she was doing. But you were like the opposite of her,
like the polar opposite. Like it was like she was
the angel, you were the devil but not really. And
it's like, yeah, like where we Oh my gosh, imagine
like if we could like go back in time, you're
too young. But like if you were like in the nineties,
like early two thousands, you'd be president.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Now, I gotta tell you, I really don't want to
go back to those pause.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
I don't want to go back.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
I'm like, there's a reason why I'm so outspoken and
so in your face and you know, capable of doing
that was because I grew up in a way that
made me conditioned to have to be, you know, enforceful
if I want to talk or if I want to
get my message across.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
And it's just as a mom now I get it.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Everything trickles back to how you're raised and if you're
heard in your house and if you are.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Nurtured in your house. So I don't want to go
back to those crazy days.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
I'm really happy for my journey and God bless reality
TV because I've been in therapy my whole life.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
But nothing is as therapeutic.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
As watching yourself on TV year after year, just changing
and changing and evolving.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
It's crazy.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
It's like you have videos of your therapy, se diary, right,
radio diary, dire life, and you're like, Okay, here's me evolving, Okay,
here's me slipping back down.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
And here I am again.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
I'm I'm like I always would say that, and I
think people probably thought I was really strange? Is reality TV?
To me was cathartic. It was my out. I couldn't
speak up for myself, but I felt a comfort, Like
when I did True Torri when my husband we had
a whole infidelity scandal. I people were like, are you
(09:12):
really filming this? And I was like, I can't speak
up for myself, but I feel this safety when the
camera crews are there that.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
I think that. I think the crew, they the production
in general.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
They are the pen. You know, they're the pen. The
show is the notebook and you are using. They're helping
you write your personal story. So I really I loved it.
It was very good therapy. But I think for a
reality show, number one to be good and number two
for you to gain.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Therapeutic aspects out of it, you have.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
To be fully just transparent, vulnerable to the process, and open.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
And you're gonna get talked shit about. Everyone's gonna troll you.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Whether you're none or you're you know, whore, It doesn't
matter what you do, they're gonna hate you.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
It's so true. Do you feel like you're polarizing.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
I think that I allowed my audience to have a
form of consistency when it came to my personality. It
wasn't just a seasonal thing. It wasn't just a one
story thing.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
It's just who I was.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
And I think by being me, it just now gives
me this platform to continue to be me, not trying
to fit any societal you know, expectations or norms or anything.
And when I look at my social media and stuff
like that, the differences between for instance, me and maybe
(10:45):
other castmates or other people on reality shows, they get
a lot of hate.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
They get a lot of like you're so pretty, or
you're so ugly, or you're so this. I'm not even
kidding you.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
If you look at my comments, it's just thank you
for this. You've taught me this, and you know, you
always so honest, You've always kept it real.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
And it's just.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Like, I'm like, Wow, now I'm at a point where
I can really kind of have an impact maybe with
my words, because I feel like now people are listening.
You know, I came out with cannabis a million years
ago before anyone was doing this.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
It was not a thing. You know, I beat everyone
to the punch.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
Unfortunately, you know, advertisers are not ready to promote these
things on TV because you know, the scheduling, it's a
federal substance, it's state by state.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
And then every Bravo.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Housewife wanted to come out with CBD, wanted to do this,
wanted to do that, ozempic, craze.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
Oh my god, if I did.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
Not set off a whole storm of people coming out
with ozempic, you know, that was awesome. Having a donor child.
I got very ridiculed for that one. That was a
tough one, you know, being so super ridiculed to now
seeing how it's just becoming more and more and more
normal for women or men to say, I'm doing this
(12:03):
on my own.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
I can do it on my own.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
It's almost like you were the learning curve for everybody. Yeah,
and it couldn't have been easy, Like I'm sure there's
so much that you had to deal with and repress
and go through and maybe not repressed. But like the
fact that it all comes it's cyclical, all comes back
around now everything like you're pointing out that you have
(12:26):
done in the past. Everyone's like, yes, we support, we support,
but at the time, like I know what this is. Like,
it's hard to balance that shame when you want to
be authentic and you know what you want and you're
going to do it anyway, but it's like everyone's just
like no.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Right, right, That's what I guess at the end of
the day.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
That's just what being real. And I use quotes when
I say, but that's what being real is. It's just
staying consistent.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
To who you are or who your soul and heart is.
That is so true.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
And that's I struggle with this all the time personally
of like finding me and being me and still kind
of pigeonholed of what I was conditioned my whole you know,
nine or two when I was started when I was sixteen,
condition of what I was supposed to be, Like I
played the good girl, like I was the virgin, like
(13:19):
I'm not supposed to publicly have a voice, and then
one day it's like, oh my god, she has a
big voice.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Right, So it's like, did you have that same concept
where your character, for instance, on Beverly Hills nine o
two on zero, you felt like you had to be
that person at all times because that's what they expected
of you. Yes, you didn't try to say I'm trying
to prove that I'm the opposite I'm when you do
press or media or events, it was you were Donna Martin.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
I really didn't, but I didn't.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
I was.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
But here's the thing. I was born into that world
through my dad. It was like, so first I was
Aaron's daughter, and I was always kind of on display publicly.
So it was I picked up from a young age,
like I represent my parents. They never told me this,
but being five, I knew everyone's looking at my dad,
(14:14):
you know, and they know who I am, so I
have to be a certain way. And then that just
kept going. And then all of a sudden, I'm playing
America's most famous virgin, and it's like, oh, she's the
good girl and everyone's looking up to her. So I
wait a minute.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
First of all, you had a little bit of.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
A bitch before you were America's virgin on one of
my favorite movies of absolute all time, True Beverly Hills.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Oh my gosh, I did. I was.
Speaker 3 (14:42):
Yeah, I was fourteen. You were a little bitch, I know,
And that was so hard. I only had like what
two or three lines, but I was like, I was
like still, then I was like, oh my gosh, here
was this Beverly Hills girl. Like it was my first
like acting job. It wasn't my dad's thing. I was
like thrown out into the wilderness and I was supposed to.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Be the tough girl bitch, and I was like, no,
I'm actually just the Beverly Hills girl.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
I wanted to see into the pill That's where I
feel comfort.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
How here, how here? That's interesting. Yeah, I guess that's
the case.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
When you go on TV, film, movies, reality, it's just
society paints this picture and you you kind of get
stuck sometimes.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
But lucky enough, like you became famous being you right,
being real right, with a.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
Lot of a lot of penalties attached to it, though,
a lot of ridicule, a lot of judgment, and you know,
just mean people. There's a lot of mean people in
this world. And it's not anything new.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
But I mean, it just doesn't change, and that's.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
Never going to change. And see, we see it happening
with our kids. I mean, my kids are older. We'll
see the bullying starts early.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
It does, it does.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
And I think that the more and more technology progresses,
the more physically disconnected humans get, the more easier it
is to hurt people because you don't have to.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Be there to watch what you've done. You know, it's
kind of like war. Before you there was a front
line and you were you know, damaged from that.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
But now it's just a push of a button. So
it's kind of just hurting people from afar.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
It's so true. Oh my gosh, where did this fucking
conversation just go all of a sudden.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
Sure, we just got like super intellectual look at the
big brains on us. Guys, we're doing a therapy show.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Now.
Speaker 3 (16:38):
I'd rather just talk sex toys with you, though.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
Yeah, we can do a lot of that.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
I have, actually, interestingly enough, right before this phone call Dennis,
which is my ex boyfriend, which you know.
Speaker 3 (16:49):
Your ex husband, we've talked about this. I'm not understanding
the timeline, but keep going, girl.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
There it's not good. It's not good.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
It's not There is no timeline. It didn't go in
any order. It was fused, and it was a lot
of lies and bullshit and betrayal. But you know it is.
He's my business partner. That's all he is to me
from here on out. He will never be anything out
a friend to me. I will never call him my
ex anymore. He's just my business partner. We have Intimately Gigi,
(17:23):
and we make really good sex toys for pleasure women.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
And I'm coming out you do make really good sex toys.
I'll tell you the story behind this in a second. Okay,
go on.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
Oh my gosh, I have to send you everything.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
And we just launched nipple covers three different shades, so
I want to get a little bit more broad in
the intimacy level, just not just sexuality, but just body
and you know all that stuff.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
I'll send everything to you.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
Oh my god. I'm a big like I should have
like fuck mad men, it should have been mad Toy.
Like I am brilliant when it comes to marketing. I
should be like a marketing coach for people. So if
you want to pass any ideas, because Intimately great name,
because you're right, it goes way beyond sex toys, like
(18:12):
you can go expand into anything that's intimate that people
love it being.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
Could be any intimacy. I'm now secretly which is keep.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Parts of a secret.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
We are working on a brand new product which will
be catering to men.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
So I'm really anxious.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
About this one because it's a very popular thing that
it's very popular in stores.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
For men and cockering. It's growed out, have been so
easy to come out with. No, it's it's you're on
the right track.
Speaker 3 (18:47):
Oh okay, wait, tell me we can play this kid
game like cool hot warmer.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
I would. It would require molding of stuff.
Speaker 3 (18:59):
Happening, molting, like, wait, are we a mold mold? Oh,
a mold of a penis?
Speaker 2 (19:09):
But it's for men. It's I'm doing it for men
me personally.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
It's something personal I'm giving.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Is that a thing you need?
Speaker 1 (19:30):
You need to put that label down copyright. You're on
the right, You're on the right.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
Shock though.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Okay, okay, so we won't see what it is, but
oh my god, I'm fascinating.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
We'll see it soon. We'll see it soon. It's gonna be.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
Everyone pussy and men can never leave the house again.
They don't have to because they could just right. I mean,
they master I feel like men masturbrate some many times
a day. They I don't know how they get through
their day or go out or like get things done.
But that's why women get everything done, uh, because we
can think for ourselves and them.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
And I'm going to do.
Speaker 4 (20:05):
I had a really cool idea to put a special
secret QR code inside that box and there will be
a very risque.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
Video of me so they can enjoy the product while
watching me.
Speaker 3 (20:24):
Wait, does the QR code like you how on your phone?
You like take a picture?
Speaker 2 (20:29):
If you buy a code inside and then.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
You link, so then it so when they ejaculate, does
it stimulate the QR code?
Speaker 2 (20:38):
Gg?
Speaker 1 (20:41):
Where were you and I needed to start marketing right?
Oh my god, my god, we need that.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Though. That's a great idea. That's good. I'll pitch that.
Speaker 3 (21:02):
Are you coming out with loop?
Speaker 2 (21:03):
Do you have loop? I don't have any Loop?
Speaker 1 (21:05):
I don't, But that's also a great idea to come
out with loop. I just feel like so many people
have so many sensitivities.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
And skin and this and that. I get a little
nervous about stuff like that.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
But oh, I hear you on that one.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
I have everything, though, I have Lord.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
I think we have like seven or eight products now
for women different toys.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
You have twelve? Do I have twelve? You have twelve?
Oh my god, Oh my god. Did a deep dive.
Oh my god. It's doing well. So there you go.
It's doing well.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
Phenomenally.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
Well, it's doing well, and so we just keep coming
out with new products and it's fun. I mean, it's
interesting because sex will always exist. And like we were
just saying a couple of minutes ago, the more you know,
technology and more advance we get with just times.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Women are more independent. Women are now.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Bosses, their CEOs, their owners. They're running a side said boxes. First,
they don't.
Speaker 2 (22:05):
Need a man in order to get off. They don't
want to have the bomb. They need a quick you know,
or like vibration. Three you know what I mean, I
do know what you mean.
Speaker 3 (22:21):
And eventually, I mean, look, you didn't sperm donor like hello,
But we don't want to make them extinct because they're fun.
We don't want to make the useful.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
They're good body heat, Oh.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
They do stay warm?
Speaker 1 (22:38):
Yeah they two, they too, but toy. I didn't have
sex for almost seven years, so up until last year, last.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
Like May or June, a conscious decision.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
Not well in the beginning, so I got I went
through a year and a half of e yeah to
get pregnant. The first one it ruptured and I lost
both my filopian tubes.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
So immediately I waited to healed.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Three months later, I was pregnant again and I had
my son right when COVID started. So then we go
into two years of lockdown. I have this new well
you know what I mean. I didn't want to expose him,
and then it was just like, how do I date?
Speaker 2 (23:23):
How does this work? How do you do things? Everything? Swiping?
Speaker 1 (23:28):
And I've never done online stuff, so I'm like, I
just felt uncomfortable. I didn't wanted to want to go out.
I wanted to be with my kid. I fell awkward
and so it just wasn't happening for me. And I'm psychiosexual,
so I need to get mentally stimulated to have sex.
Speaker 3 (23:43):
Okay, yeah, I was going to say, can you clarify
that for our Yes.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
I'm turned on by brains like people's minds, so I
don't have like a particular physical type.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
Oh my god. Wait, Okay.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
When I said can you clarify that for our listener,
I meant for me and I was trying to be cool.
Ask him for a friend.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
Nobody knows what it means, nobodys.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
I think you just defined what I am.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
There. You go see everyone says that they're like, oh
my god, is that what it's called it's about the brain.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
I'd rather be turned on by the brain.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
Absolutely, say it again. It's s a p io sexual.
Speaker 3 (24:29):
No, shoot, there's no tea in there. I can't put
my name and I put my name into everything. Okay,
I'll share it out later.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Yes, it's it's How did.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
You come to know this?
Speaker 1 (24:40):
Because at one point I started thinking that I was polyamorous,
and I realized because I don't have jealousy in my body,
I don't have I don't care about sex. Is not
a symbol of faith to me because I'm a mental person.
For me, cheating on me, Like if you're emotionally invested
(25:01):
in someone else, now I feel cheated on. But if
we are having a conversation and you find someone attractive,
and guess what I'm If I'm not doing it for you,
or if I'm busy or if i'm traveling, I don't
have a problem if he wants to hook up or
get his deck sucked or something like that. So I
was like reading all these things like what makes a
person like this, and polyamory came.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
Up and I was like, Oh, maybe that's what I am.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
But then I realized it's not polly because I don't
want to have multiple boyfriends. I just want to have
one boyfriend and I want to be his only girlfriend.
And I just want there to be an understanding of
who I am and who he is, which is just
impossible because I want space and relationships.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
I want a lot of space.
Speaker 3 (25:46):
Oh my god, is it possible we were twins in
another lifetime. I'm not sure what's.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
Cheating space when you have so many kids.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
You are banging your husband a lot to make that happen. Sorry,
I was that was no space.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
Space.
Speaker 3 (26:06):
But for me, I think I'm still I'm fifty one
and I'm trying to figure this out now as a
single mom of five, like suddenly not married, and I'm like,
what is going on? Who am I? Because I think
from a young age being on TV and being sexualized,
(26:26):
I guess you know, that was my self worth was
if I you know, if a guy thinks I'm pretty
or he likes my body. And it was the nineties,
so there wasn't you know, no one's calling hr. There
wasn't oh my gosh, that's inappropriate kind of anything went.
No one knew and you know, we had a young
(26:49):
cast and good looking guys and girls and there was
no blurred. It all blurred, like you know, walking onto
that set, you were like, oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
If the boys went up and were like, oh my god.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
I would always wear like belly shirts they called the
time crop tops, and the boys would be like telling
everyone else like, look, oh my gosh, look how tiny
her waist is, and I'd be like, oh yeah, yeah,
you know, and showing like people, I can put my
hands right around her waist. Well, if they didn't do
that or make a comment about my boobs, I was like, oh,
something wrong with me, like, and it wasn't inappropriate. We
(27:23):
were all good friends. No one knew. We all grew
up together on TV and very young promiscuous, like we're
all sexually you know, like excited, and we didn't know.
And so that carried on through my whole life, thinking
I had to be pretty, not use my brain, not
you know, be funny. But it's like all of a sudden,
(27:44):
it took years for me to realize, well, Okay, I'm pretty,
I have a good body like whatever, but I'm also
really smart and if someone doesn't stimulate me that way,
I'm kind of not there.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
But it's still.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
Blurs going back and forth because I still have that need,
especially for social media. Yeah, I go down the rabbit
hole and seeing.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
Everybody post all their gorgeous.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
Pictures and how hot they look, and I'm like, am
I supposed to be that?
Speaker 2 (28:14):
Am I just supposed to be brilliant?
Speaker 3 (28:15):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (28:16):
Yeah, I'm actually I'm creating an app right now which
you're gonna love it. It's it's a dating app, but
it's very specialized. It's very specific. It's there's never been
anything like this. I'm out there, so I'm really excited
about this. I'm in the creative phase. I'm putting my
team together right now.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
But it's hard. It's really hard. Can I be the beta? Yeah,
the beta.
Speaker 3 (28:41):
I'll be your guinea pig, Like, just let me me
test it. So I've never done dating apps that I
used to be like, that's so funny swipe because at
the end of the day, if you don't put a
picture one of those dating apps, no one looks at you.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
They swipe. So it's just saying, this is very surface.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
So I want to go beyond that, and I'm designing
something that it's not. It's just I can't even say
anything right now. But it's just going to go beyond
that because we are a world right now where.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
It's called woke. Right, that's what it is.
Speaker 3 (29:14):
It's woke world, and I like cooks, think so, and
then I can't deal with the word woke.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
Right.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
The more face app and face tune and these things exist,
and the more we use them, because we all do.
The more we use them.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
There's also a larger desire.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
For more realness on the opposite end, because now we're
craving more natural people be like, look at that, that's
a natural beauty, as if it's one of the eighth
wonders of the world, you know, think her boob, centered
her nose and look at that. Like, I don't know
anyone who hasn't had everything done. You know, I've had
everything done.
Speaker 2 (29:53):
So it's just it's but you see the statistics. I
read a lot. I read from morning tonight.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
So the statistics are showing that people want a different
type of interaction now. They're tired of swiping, they want
more in person chemistry vibes.
Speaker 2 (30:09):
So it's just I.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
Think we are there, and you're getting there now you're
learning that that's who you are, you know. I feel
like this has always been who I was. But I'm
also coming from the eighties, nineties, two thousands, where if
a woman said she doesn't want to be married or
doesn't believe in marriage, they think either she's a lesbian
of some sort or something must be wrong with her,
she must have been heartbroken of something. And she was like, nothing, neither.
(30:35):
I just I want a partnership. I want someone to
vibe with. I want to be the boss of my home.
Though I want my child to be mine, I don't
need to have that. I just want a dude that
can be my dude, my friend, and we do all
that relationship stuff. So I went this route. I had
a donor. I got married once for seven weeks for
(30:59):
a certain reason, and got married again for one week
for another reason. You know it's wait, you were married before, Dennis.
Speaker 2 (31:06):
Yeah, I was married for seven weeks. How did I
miss this girl? His name is Shaloon.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
We were married for seven weeks and I filed and
it was a long, dreadful divorce process, very long.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
He was really upset with me, so he dragged it.
Speaker 3 (31:24):
But and not believing in marriage is what I'm hearing, Like,
what made you decide to marry him?
Speaker 1 (31:41):
Schalem needed something, he needed some help with something, and
we were in a relationship. It was like, you know,
I'm picking up what you're putting down. Okay, yeah, so
you know I was like okay, but then it turned
into immediately my wife, my wife, my wife, you're my marriage. WHOA,
(32:01):
that's not what I signed up for.
Speaker 3 (32:03):
So file I think I said once in my podcasts
and people were kind of that I don't know if
I believe in monogamy, but not monog I like to
start now on this. My friend calls me Tory two
point zero. I'm just like learning about life, but redefining
(32:24):
words that have been taught to us and defined and like, oh,
you can google that, here's what it means. It's like, okay,
that's what it. Who told us I'm supposed to mean that?
Why don't we take words and make it work for us.
So I'm not saying I don't believe in just being
with one partner. I do, like I don't want to
be with different partners. But I guess it led me
back to the whole connotation of marriage. And I feel
(32:49):
like I see so many relationships that are so good
and then they fall apart once the they say that
I do is they signed that paper, and.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
It's like, yeah, I mean, I really don't understand it.
It's it's I don't understand the concept of marriage. You know,
it used to be to form you know, treaties and
combine power and land when we were in caveman kind
of shit and ruling dynasties and those eras where you know,
(33:20):
the king of this country wanted to unite with the
king of this country, so they married their kids to unite.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
Marriage was a business deal, always, always.
Speaker 1 (33:30):
But now it's turned into well, for a while, I
would say, up until the last five ten years, it
turned into if you're not married, something's wrong. You're supposed
to get married. You go to school, if you go
to college, you get a job.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
You get married, you have kids, and then you die.
Like that was life. That was the story.
Speaker 3 (33:48):
I mean, I did all of that except oh my god.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
Yeah, it's time to live. It's time to live because
there's a whole world out there that you know, you
can do it in any order you want. You don't
have to even be a part of the order if
you don't want. I'm not talking about being radical, that's
a different level, but I mean, if you want to
be married, get married. If it means something to you
and it does your partner, do it. But don't expect
(34:16):
marriage the concept to become this ruling power of love
and unity forever.
Speaker 2 (34:23):
Nothing's forever nothing.
Speaker 3 (34:27):
Right now, What do you think of the word emasculating.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
I think I'm very good at it.
Speaker 3 (34:41):
Emasculation another form of ejaculation another male like. It's just
I've spent my whole life trying to make men not
feel emasculated to my own demise that. It's like whether
relationship with a partner, whether business, and it sucks.
Speaker 2 (35:02):
Yeah, that must suck. I was never like that fucked out, Sorry,
but I could never.
Speaker 1 (35:08):
I think you are masculating a man by trying to
not emasculate him, because you are just robbing him of
actual strength and power by thinking you're giving him that.
Speaker 2 (35:22):
Giving him power is by showing him who you.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
Are, because saying this is what you chose, because that's
what you're capable of having. Here, I am, this is
my strength. See how capable you are of having me.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
That's how I.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
Consider a man like you are lucky to have me
in your life. I'm going to make you better.
Speaker 3 (35:42):
Can you be my life coach?
Speaker 2 (35:44):
Yeah, join my tech t put.
Speaker 3 (35:46):
A QR code on that if you want.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (35:51):
It was just always like, but men always are like, uh,
you're not doing it to me, But I feel emasculated
if you're more successful than them.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
That's such a cheesy, man, What does success have to
do with your manhood?
Speaker 2 (36:07):
I get it. For a long time, men.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
Felt the need to have to be the provider and
the caretaker.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
And that's okay. In certain places. I allow that because
as far as our species goes, our species is led.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
Man is more powerful than woman is physically, So in
those things, I do.
Speaker 2 (36:25):
Allow a man to feel like he's more physically capable.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
In certain things because truth of this, I may not
be able to open the jar, and sometimes I might
be able to, and I'm like, honey, can you open
this warm? Because I know that that's going to make
him feel like he's strong, he's.
Speaker 2 (36:41):
Taking care of me. You know. Those things I'm okay with.
But that's as fire as it goes.
Speaker 1 (36:47):
I'm very I'm a Sagittarius, so I'm a very logical person.
If I'm having sex with a guy, I'm going to leave.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
I'm going to go home. Right after.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
I don't want to cuddle right away. I want to
kind of just my space. I want to do my thing.
Thank you for the evening. I'm not upset, you know
if I don't get text messages or I don't get
a callback, and you don't need to say I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
I understand life happens, you don't.
Speaker 1 (37:13):
You know it's okay. I either make a choice that yes,
this works for me, or no it doesn't, and I
walk away my questions for you.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
I could talk to you all day night. I'm like
a robot that Tori.
Speaker 1 (37:26):
I tell you any man way me is will tell you.
It's not I'm not a heart this, I'm full of
it heart. I just am logical.
Speaker 2 (37:36):
That's all. Vulnerable though I can't be.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
I think when I'm in a in a situation where
a man allows me to be fully in my feminine,
I can finally be vulnerable.
Speaker 3 (37:52):
You know, that's exactly it. When a man allows you
to be in your feminine.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
It's hard because a man himself has to be so
masculine that he enters his feminine in order for a
woman to enter hers. So when I am in those situations,
oh my gosh, I turn into this most incomfident little
baby that I want to just feel safe and nurtured.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
And but it's very rare. It happens, but it's rare,
But I would like that. And until I find a.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
Mae who can make me feel that way, I just
stay single, keep dating.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
I don't date though, How do you fucking date in
this city?
Speaker 3 (38:31):
I don't know. I don't know either, I don't know.
And at fifty one and suddenly, like, after being in
a relationship for twenty years, I'm like, your relationship.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
Was rocky right throughout. You guys had ups and downs.
Speaker 3 (38:46):
Yeah, the whole time, a lot of a lot of passion.
You know what I got to say, parenting And this
is where you got it right, Like parenting was the
biggest to ruining our relationship. Does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (39:03):
The kids were the.
Speaker 3 (39:04):
Greatest part of our relationship because we did. We created
five beings out of love and passion.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
We really did.
Speaker 3 (39:13):
And then suddenly when we had to parent them and
things you never discussed before marriage, parenting styles, or maybe
you don't even know you have different parenting styles. I
feel like that should be if you're going to be
on an app, it should be like, and you have kids,
you should be like, what's your parenting style? Because it's
just I don't know. I don't know if we can
ever stay with the man we create humans with, right,
(39:35):
because it changed our relationship and we were those types
that we were like, we want kids so badly together
and we were both like we were both married before
and he had kids, I didn't, and I we were
just like, I don't want our relationship to change, and.
Speaker 2 (39:54):
It did.
Speaker 3 (39:54):
The moment I got pregnant, everything changed.
Speaker 1 (39:59):
That's interesting when pregnancy change not from having the child.
Speaker 3 (40:03):
Correct, because the moment I found out I was pregnant,
I changed.
Speaker 2 (40:09):
Ah, there it is.
Speaker 3 (40:11):
And he didn't even know he was doing this, but
you know, the shift happened.
Speaker 2 (40:18):
He was my world.
Speaker 3 (40:19):
The focus was on him, and as soon as my
new world was being created within me, I was all
about that baby. And it's just the dynamics slowly.
Speaker 1 (40:32):
Isn't safe to say I mean without being mean or anything.
Speaker 2 (40:35):
But would it be safe to say the narcissist.
Speaker 1 (40:42):
If the tension shifted onto something else that wasn't on
him anymore?
Speaker 2 (40:47):
I don't know. But here's what.
Speaker 3 (40:52):
I've come to learn about narcissists.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
They come in different and sizes. There's extreme ones, there's
regular ones.
Speaker 3 (41:01):
And there's like so many differ If you look up narcissism,
there's so many different types of narcissists. Like there's five
I think main types, and the kindest human might fall
into like I don't know if it's called emotional narcissist
or something.
Speaker 2 (41:14):
But it's I don't know. And then are we to
say or do we? Are we all a little bit narcissistic.
Speaker 3 (41:21):
Like in some way to a degree because we think
of narcissism, we're like, oh my god, it's somewhat horrible
and bad, and it's like.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
No, but I'll tell you.
Speaker 1 (41:31):
Something that's always said in psychology is that the person
who wonders if they are narcissist is usually not. Oh,
if you internally wonder if you are, not externally with conversations,
I wonder I'm a narcissist. No, no, no, But if you
actually wonder like I'm a narcissist because I did that,
that means typically you're probably not, and you're just thinking
(41:54):
of yourself in a better form and you've placed boundaries.
A lot of people confuse boundaries and self worth and
value with narcissism.
Speaker 2 (42:03):
But when you, like you said, you took attention.
Speaker 1 (42:07):
And all of that away immediately, and it went onto
this human you're creating and your tummy.
Speaker 2 (42:13):
And now he's deprived.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
You know, this thing you were nurturing, this human you
were taken care of and giving that attention to, and
is now feeling this deprivation.
Speaker 2 (42:22):
So it just comes differently, I guess. So we went
on and had four.
Speaker 3 (42:26):
More, right, and I think what never talked about this
with anyone. I think if we had to really think
about it, perhaps our connection really was it was sexual.
It was wow nice, which is odd because again, what
(42:46):
am I now? I'm a what's the word?
Speaker 2 (42:49):
I said? Po sexual? S A p io sabio.
Speaker 3 (42:52):
I'm a sapio sexual. Yes, Hi, I'm Torrian, I'm a
sapio sexual.
Speaker 2 (42:57):
Hi, Tari, welcome with that press fuckers
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Lauren Zima
Chris Harrison
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