#162 White's Bottom w/ Carlisle Forrester

Between you and Nikki, things get silly when you have your besties Andrew Collin and Carlisle Forrester around. Nikki shares a little bit of her experience going to Bob Saget's funeral. We learn about Nikki's famous TV family, Carlisle's upbringing and what Andrew did on his old bed. You Heard It Here First, Tesla fart hack, Icarus movie review, semen skincare, accident selfies and couples who dress alike. Nikki shares her Reddit Dump before they "jump the dog" in the Final Thought.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Nicky Guyser Podcast. Here's Nicky. Hello, here I am. It's
a Nicki Guyser podcast. Welcome. It's Tuesday. He took yesterday
off Martin Luther King Jr. Holiday. It was a nice

(00:22):
little break. We worked. Let's be honest with ourselves. We
worked harder than we ever have. I think it's one
of the longest days of my life. It was a
pretty long day, you know. Um, but today's my day off,
today's your day off. Yeah, I don't have anything after this.
What are you gonna do? Um? What what does she do?

(00:46):
You know what? I was supposed to go watch my
special with Chris and go over it. And he was like,
I could do it a day, hang and do that,
and then we could go take a break and then
I come back and hang out at night. Um, And
I said no, because I have my eyes set on
a nap man. I got got just I got two
naps in yesterday too. We shot at We had to

(01:09):
wake up it early. I had to wake up ten
to let the people into set up the shot. Then
I got a nap in from eleven thirty to twelve
to eleven forty five fifteen minute. Then I shot a
thing at twelve to twelve thirty seven, and I got
a nap in from twelve fifty to one thirty. That
was a pretty The two naps snuck in and in

(01:31):
a very small window happens better than a full nap.
It really was restorative. But I've I'm definitely nappen later today.
I feel like I've been napping, needing a lot of
naps recently. Let me just introduce our guest. She's here
with us, Um, she's sitting in the chair next to me.
You can watch it on YouTube in a couple of days.
Welcome to the show. UM, big longtime fan, longtime listener,

(01:52):
listens to I think almost every show certified bestie. Here,
certified bestie. It's Carlile Forrester. What's up? You can follow
her on Carlisle Forrester on Instagram. C A R l
I S l E Forrester. F O R R E
s t E R. Hey, wait a second, my nephew's
name is Forrest. Yeah I heard that Forrester. I didn't
even think about it. How it's part of your name.

(02:13):
Did you get a lot of like Ron Forrester run?
I got a little bit of that. Yeah, if I
had a son, I'd probably name him Forrester because I'm
I'm my mom's maiden name Carter. No, because it's because
it wouldn't be well for some reason. Carlyle is my
mom's last name, and I like that as a tum.

(02:35):
Her real name is Esther, Esther, Carlyle. What's your dad's
last name? Your Forrester? Do you no? I know, because
you're gonna take your us Okay, carly is your mom's
last name. Her mom is a fair maiden. Yes, I know.

(02:58):
But your mom's maiden name is Robin, Robin God. I wait,
will you give me the first initial? G Gershwin, it's
not far off sho think Jewish, green, green, black, No,
it's greenspan, greenhorns. No with green green, thinking Jewish, greedy.

(03:29):
There's many horrible names I want to say, but no,
it's um even worse. It's a gendel. Gendel. Oh, I
wouldn't have got which is actually Jewish? For I'll rob
you and and take your money and add interest. You
know what you can tell is Jewish who makes anti
Semitic jokes. That's like when you are watching TV when
you see a comedian or someone like making Jewish who

(03:52):
was doing an impression of a Jewish person the other
day and it was pretty anti Semitic, and you go, oh,
was he Jewish? Like we were just were like, oh, yes,
he's Jewish. I don't know, maybe he was sage. I
guess it's like when you know, black people get to
say d N word, and so Jews really lean into.
Oh that's the Jerry Seinfeld thing of like, I think
he just converted to Judaism purely for the jokes. Yes, yes,

(04:13):
I think you offended as a Jewish person. No, it
offends me as a comedian. Yeah. So And in Curb
this year, there was the guy that ran the studio
to Jewey and he just lead with jew like every
joke because Jewish. Yeah, because what it does if you're
let's say you were Jewish and Elon is like that

(04:34):
he makes everything. I'm not sure. And I think that's
why he liked me initially, because he thought you were Jewish,
so and who else I thought you were Jewish? He
died thinking I was Jewish pilot at our last textic
change and he said we were long lost relatives that
were terminated in Europe or in Russia. And I was
like and someone goes, oh, we thought you we Jewish,

(04:55):
and go that's what that means. I was like, damn it,
I was last Google search, is Nicky Glade are really Jewish?
I'm glad he died of thinking I think that makes
you Jewish. If Bob said, if a if a male
jew dies thinking you're Jewish, now it's got to be
a female. No, that's that's only a few. Well that's
the mother thing. I mean, it's all so stupid. Yeah,
the mother has to be that Jewish um funeral ceremony.

(05:19):
Have you ever been to one, Carla? Not? No, not
a Jewish ceremony of any sort, an induction on a dress.
It was so beautiful. First of all, they did the
Hebrew prayers um and they sang, you know, it's like
huh like there's a lot of like you know, like
but then might the Semitic thing I've ever heard? Then

(05:41):
they read it. Then they had the English version and
read it and it took two seconds like it was
the singing it and he would really I'm wondering, when
you sing the cantor, Yeah, when the cantor sings, do
they like take liberties with what becomes a longer thing

(06:01):
to say. Yeah, it's kind of like the Star Spangled banner.
Now people just make it their own. I mean, I'm wondering.
To be honest, I fascinated to listen because they wrote
it phonetically so you could follow it along with I
don't know, I don Yeah, it was cool. I liked it.
And then, um, it was a short service to they

(06:22):
didn't work around they're saying to prayers and then we're out,
and then we go to the grave site and we
each everyone at the grave site got to shovel some
dirt onto That surprised me that you did that. I
thought you were joking. No, it really happened that everyone
got to do it. I guess is it like a
handful or an actual shovel shovel you I was kind

(06:43):
of like intimidated because I had to put down my
purse because you have to put some hev into it.
First time that many celebrities have done hard labor for us.
Can I have my driver? So you know it is
it's touching. You know what, do you know why they
do that? Why? Because it's the last thing that they
can't do for themselves, the dead person. What about like

(07:06):
engrave the stone and put it up. Yeah, I guess
that's the second to lat thing. Maybe that's already done
by the time you put the dirt on. But no,
it was really UM. I felt honored to be able
to do it, even though it was incredibly it's pretty
saying when you do it, it hits the coffin, it's
it's it was. No, I didn't because I cried already

(07:32):
so much. UM not during that. No, there was no
jokes made, you know, especially during the internment. But like
the you know, the speeches people were making jokes, they
were you know, some guy did a UM said like
the top ten things he learned from Bob Saget, and
one of them was, um, being famous is way better

(07:56):
than not being famous. Another one was if you ever,
um accidentally say, ah, what's it called? When you make
a poop joke? Up? If you ever make a scatological
joke in front of children, always follow it up with
with that was fucking wrong U Jewish jokes. And that's

(08:19):
kind of the way Bob was. UM. But no, it
was it was really touching. But I didn't cry that.
I cried when you know, his daughter spoke and his
wife spoke, but um, and a little bit at the
party when you know, stay most was shared. They were
just touching moments. But now not like it was just
too there's too many standing. You know, Mary Kate, Nashley

(08:40):
Alston are right in front of me. If there's too
much to take in and you try trying to stay centered,
but there's so many people, like it was just it
was a lot and it's yeah and I um, they
were like, it wasn't many at the funeral. I was surprised.
There was maybe like seventy and then the party hesitate

(09:02):
to call the party, but it was like hundreds afterwards.
So now could people choose not? Was the funeral like
a cap thing? Because I don't know. I got invited
Jeff Jeff Ross told me about it because I asked him,
and then so I just went. It wasn't like they
checked your name at the door or anything. I sat.
It was in the very last row. Outside it was
actually beautiful. They were like birds chirping, and they had

(09:23):
it all. They had a speaker outside and a screen
so you could see what was happening inside. And it
was a very small um what's it called? Yeah, yeah,
it was small. I didn't know it was. There was
nothing about it that said it was like it was
just a cemetery. It didn't seem different. I just shape

(09:44):
or like the pews looked like Catholic pews. You know,
it didn't look any different. Just you know, uh, first
run in the mill there was a burning cross in
the front yard. That's different. That's been happening a lot.
He was madd No, it was. It was short and great,

(10:04):
and uh, I love a short service anything a wedding funeral.
I could have kept going. I was. The speeches were
really good and there was such a good sound. Bob
would have been happy, because if I my funeral has
like shitty sound and people can't really hear what's going
on when that bothers me so much. When and people
that give speeches talk like this and they don't know
how to hold it because they're just not professionals talk

(10:26):
like this. But you could hear everything so crystal clearly.
It was really good and you can see it when
it's outside. There's you have to turn the speaker way up.
I went to our you know, our friend R. Finlay's
wedding and he had like a literally a hundred and
forty five year old rabbi doing the service, and they
gave him I don't even know if the speaker worked

(10:46):
or the speaker was down where you couldn't hear one word.
So it was just for like forty minutes just and
everyone's like this. It was. It was really shitty. Did
he comment on it later, Yeah? Did our Yeah? Yeah, yeah,
I mean he was probably embarrassed a little bit because
it's like the one thing you need. It's kind of
like a comedy show when the mic doesn't work and

(11:08):
you're like really right, yeah yeah, what? Um so what
was the like is the vibe like of of l
a funeral different? Have you ever been to a regular funeral? Yeah?
My grandma and uh friends you have been to I've
been to funerals. Does it feel like people are like, so,

(11:29):
what project are you working on? Does it feel kind
of like a networking I mean a little bit like
the memorials afterwards that it was at Jeff richards House,
who is one of the creators of full House and
his house. This house was like a rented house that
he just owns to rent out. It's two d dollars
a month to rent. It's like you walk in it's

(11:49):
like a Bachelor. It felt like you were at the Bellaggio,
Like it's just so ordinate, big hallway, marble everything, big shark,
shark tank, Um, Barbara Lorie, Mr. Wonderful World. Yeah, there
was like a fish tank that had like big sharky
fish in it. So it's just like your well, this

(12:10):
was the after service thing. Great food at that thing.
Feels like you should not deserve the party unless you
go to the funeral. No, because I think that it
was funeral smaller for more close friends and just those
who found out about it. Like I'm not I wasn't
more like there was, That's what I'm saying, Like, I'm
just surprised that it was a bigger thing. It held
more people, so it was like more people were able

(12:31):
to and it was everyone was giving speeches. It was
just like a free for all. It was great. Um
was there a band? No, But you know, John Mayor
and Chappelle got up and talked Um, John Stamos, He
went on for a little bit, but not too long.
Now they the whole cast of Full House went up

(12:53):
first like one but when I walked in, Stamos was
on and then it was Um, Joey, and then it
was um no, then it was a producer from Full House,
and then it was and it was just you know,
story of story. At some point we were in the back.
I was wearing like shoes that were uncomfortable and we
were starving, and so we went and got food and
like sat out for Because we were in the back,
we couldn't really hear that well. It wasn't miked as

(13:14):
well as a funeral, and so we missed out on
a little bit. And then it came back in when
Chappelle and Mayor were on and then Mike Young, his
opener who I met when I was in Milwaukee, went
up and um, just fucking killed. He's like, I have
to follow Chappelle and he went up and he did
really well. It was awesome. Um, but it was um yeah,
it was it was. It was good. It was Yeah.

(13:34):
I have a couple more stories from it, but I'll
save those for another time. But it was great. Yeah.
But funeral do you remember, Carlile? The most memorable? The
last funeral. I went to my grandmother's funeral and I
got laughs. It was in Oklawina, Mississippi. He got laughs.
What did you say this? Is why. Because the priest

(13:54):
was giving the talk and like we all called my
grandmother Nana, like everybody knows, and they get this priest
that like did not know Nana at all. I don't
know why they had her priest first, like he did
half of it. And then they called in some outside
priest and this priest came up and he kept being
like and Nana was a great woman, Nana lived a

(14:19):
good life. We all loved Nana, and I just go
Nana screamed it from the views and then everybody and
then everybody was like, oh, thank God. And it was
like that relief laughter because everybody was like looking around,
you know, but I couldn't take I had to say it.

(14:39):
It was like, dude, um, I was that same thing
happened at my grandma's funeral. They kept calling her Patricia,
which is her daughter's name, and so they kept saying Patricia,
like your first dog and your porn started such a
common thing because like very commonly the priest will get

(15:02):
the family wrong and they'll be like his wife so
and so, but you can't get the name of the
dead person, like that's the thing, her Patricia, And then
what did you said? They were named Mard. No, I
didn't go it's a perfect I didn't yell Marge. I
got up and I did a speech and I said

(15:23):
that grandma was a badass, and everyone was like blasphemy
in the Catholic church. She said us, Oh my god,
oh my god, I remember we were in Um what
did you go to? Your is your grandma having a funeral?
She didn't have a funeral, she just had um like
a thing on zoom, to be honest, And then we

(15:44):
were supposed to do a party, but then everyone got COVID.
So no, it wasn't really that touching. Uh, but yeah, um,
what do you call it? I remember my couple of funerals,
but like one was my grandpa Henry. I was in
the Greek Islands and we couldn't get to an airport
fast enough, and we're like Grandpa would want us to

(16:07):
keep getting hammer drunk and me and my older brother
that's what Grandpa would have done, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
he wouldn't wanted to fly. You toasted into him that
night if you remembered to do so. Well, I think
I did know by saying my grandpa died today, I
missed the flight. I can't be there really miss. That
was the night we did the pub crawl and sell

(16:28):
Pascy and from put on snorkeling gear. Grandpa, Grandpa would
have wanted you to cock blocks for sure. I remember
my grandpa's last words was I love Dawson. Just represent
when you're in Dawston. He was always the Dawson head

(16:49):
for sure. Uh yeah, and I you know, I just
remember he climbed through my window in the middle of
the night. Dude, do do dude? And we Yeah, but yeah,
that was the night we saw Paisy. I jumped in
the pool. But I just remember, so I wrote a

(17:20):
spell Grandpa wrong? Yeah, how did you spell it? A MP?

(17:41):
Did you do? I'm guessing you anything. There was definitely
a Tampa right. Oh. I would get anything to reach
my met my cousin Billy somewhere and do email it. Yeah,
emailed it, find it. I don't know. Grandpa is like

(18:05):
if you called your grandmother Graham and then you merged
the name, like you know, they're the celebrity when they
make them one word, that's what you thought of them
as a couple. Yeah, they were Grandpapa, they were. I
didn't have I didn't have typing grandpa and good did
you mean grandpa? You googled it like it's gonna exist. No, No,

(18:31):
I looked through my email. No, I just don't have
like I think I had hotmail then, but yeah, I was, yeah,
something like hotmail. Let Grandpa's lie. They're not going to
correct you on that. Love drinking, Miami Vices and Tampa.
He was my rock, my lovely grandpa. Was his name rock?

(18:52):
Was his name rock Rock? No? It was Henry. Okay,
oh yeah, that's right. But that's what Henry would have wanted.
It is so funny to be like they put it
on them that that's what they would want. It's so funny.
I did that a lot with Bob, stuff of like, yeah,
he would have want like I, well, I did it
in the sense of like I don't want to go

(19:13):
to this fucking party thing. I don't feel like being
around all these celebrities. It's stressing me out. But like
Bob would go to mine if he felt so so anxiety,
he would still go to mine. So I was like, Okay,
Bob would do this for me, so I got to
do it for him. Bob would not listen to his
speeches and get food before everyone else totally what he
would listen to a few and he go take a break,
and that's what would But that's what I think bold.

(19:35):
How do you spell Bob? The three bees? Bob is
a great name. It is my cousin Bob, who was
with me when I met with his name. He went
by Bobber as a kid and I still call him Bobber,
which was a fun name, had a cool vibe to him.

(19:59):
He's very cool. And his dad's name is Tomer. I
grew up with this. I didn't even know. Wait, don't
you have like I have? Well, my mom as a
family of ten, so I've nine on her side and
then two on my dad's side. Can you name to nine? Nancy,
Jim and Michael, Julie, Tomas, Peggy, Wait, Nancy, Jimmy, Michael, Nancy, Jimmy, Michael, Julie, Tomer, Peggy, Chucky, Talley, Bob,

(20:25):
Mom and dad or something like that. Nancy, Jim, Michael, Julie, Tommer, Peggy, Chucky, Tally, Potty,
Bob and Dad. And are you close with any of them? Well?
TV is my other uncle, n TV Bob. His name
is Bob, but my dad gave him the nickname TV
Bob because he should have been on TV because he
was so funny. He literally is one of the funniest

(20:45):
people ever, and so we call him Uncle t V. Um.
There's Nancy, Jimmy, Michael, Julie Tomers bunny Hair, Bunny Hairs.
Then I have Uncle Blue, right, Aunt Satellite and cousin
dish and I don't know, just naming all the times

(21:08):
of ways you can get. And we just had a
new second cousin streaming about. He's young though, Oh my god,
we will never forget our I pe baby quimby TiVo,
Oh TiVo. He's on drugs now, but he's doing his thing.

(21:33):
He's just you know, he's stopping when you're a young actor.
He became big way too soon, too fast. Yeah, too fast. Um,
but yeah, that's so funny. I mean, you don't really
think about you as like white trash and then what
what about Boba and Tomer and TV makes you think
white trash? He because he's the only one family had

(21:54):
a TV sweezed. I'll go into his trailer. I'll fifteen
of us and uh, Aunt Nancy would hold up the antenna's.
We were not white trash, but we were like there
you know, Catholic poor, but like, yeah, there's a little
white trash in me. Yeah, it's okay, Yeah, but the
word trash is so mean. Oh, I thought, have you

(22:20):
been seeing this TikTok trend or like on Twitter when
people want to make fun of white people are like,
you know what people do They write y T for white.
They do that so that it doesn't get like so
people don't google. I don't know. It's just to protect
the algorithms so that people don't know what you're talking
about white people. But it's white. Ty is white. I

(22:40):
always thought it was YouTube, so it was like, oh, YouTube,
Like I don't think it's white. I think it's whitey white. No,
I think it's why. Yeah, like would be like ship
wait eight with a T on them would be eighty wait, no,
would be eights stories from Carlos. We'll come back with

(23:09):
those uh coming and we're back. Carlisle has been sleeping
in your bed. That's what you just said. It's a
little rocky, it's a little rough. I got nervous last
night because I like, I like to sleep with the
pillow like all around me, and there was a pillow

(23:30):
on the floor that I think was in here that
was made out of this like rough stuff. No, that's yours.
That little those little I knew it. I picked them
up with like the tips of my fingers that are
calloused so they wouldn't soak in any of that. Snuggled
it for half the night because I just wanted like

(23:54):
a fluffy thing to lay on. Poke up in the
middle of the night, so itchy, and I threw that
pillow down and I was like, god, why did I
get that off the ground, Like what is it? And
you know what you're You're like half asleep and you're
like making something and I was like, I bet like
this Luigi's pillow, it might have fleas And I was
just like itching, But now know is you're come? Oh

(24:15):
my bad, No it wasn't. My comment was with you
because the little ones, the little the dumplings, Yeah, they
were so little. Where did you even get those? They
are the size of like at that airplane pillow? Like,
um that story the it's like Moogie or something like

(24:37):
an Asian. I knew it was like one of those
little tiny Asian stories and that was like little practical
small things. Yeah, I love those stories. Everything is so
simple there. But apparently they're too small. Like my coffee
table I bought, so that was like your sex proper.
It's for one coffee. Yeah, it's a it's it's like
a coaster. Yeah. I went up and saw his apartment yesterday.

(24:58):
He was a great rug. Um, really cool new chair
you got in that tiny little coffee table. But the
coffee people is cool and I think it goes it
actually works with what you visited my room for my apartment. Yeah, no,
it's nice. I like it a lot. Are you surprised
with how adult it looks because you have an adult
in there. If it was just you, I would be surprised.

(25:24):
Good taste does not surprise me. Um, No, it looked
great and um it's a it's a big it's a
bigger space than I thought. And it's like, yeah, it's
I think it's perfect for you too. Yeah, it's awesome.
Did you that pillar I didn't come on, by the way,
the square blue one? Yeah? Where do you come most
of the time when you are finishing with your gal?

(25:45):
Can I ask them? You can ask it? Man? I sure?
I mean wherever? Not an inner? Yeah, but like where
just like on her though? Like or do you do it? On,
like do you get a tissue or it's a fun time.
It's not. I used to my girlfriend in college would
make me put down a towel and then the come

(26:08):
on the towel, which was just very embarrassed. It's very
well because I'm emasculating. That emasculating had been through so much.
It was something, well, it was multiple she would clean
the towel. It wasn't just the same towel over. Well,
if it was at your place, it wouldn't be Oh yeah,
for sure, I buy my towel would come already. Yeah,

(26:29):
I got this is when I'm there's there's stiff, like
the kind of the rugs you put in your car
on the you know, well we all know the famous
carpet story, and you would just wipe your common same.
They moved finally one day and there was just a
slick spot where slick it was crusted over. But it

(26:49):
looked like that you know when you drive on a
highway and there's like that black road up ahead, it
looks like shiny black and it's like a mirage. It
looked more like my eyes when I wake up in
the morning. Just crust, just so much crust and I
think my mom. I was like, Mom, I think I
was eating peanut butter and jelly jelly. Wait, so your
white trash? Yeah? What watched The Tender Bar? The other not.

(27:14):
Have you seen The Tender Bar. It's on Amazon's bed
Afflecks movie He's in So good and it based of
a book. No, it is not so good. George Clooney
directed it. It's just cliche. The whole thing is cliche.
It's like a young boy who like is smarter than
his white trash family and his mom believes in him.

(27:35):
She's a single mother who's been abandoned by the father
and the uncle's cool and he gets there is a bar.
So I relate to that. Look, this thing's gonna win
Twitter Oscars. Okay, it is Wait, what is it a movie?
It's a movie. It's a new ben Affleck movie. Amazon, Amazon,
The Tender Bar. Yes, it just sounds like chicken tender.

(27:58):
I don't know why it's like our tender No one knows,
but it's the Tender Bar. But I said to Carlisle
during it we were watching, and I was like, does
this remind you of your life? Because it's like a
kid out of growing up at a bar kind of kids,
always hanging out of the bar, and her family owned
a bar since the early eight Yes, then the cool uncle.
It's a bartender. God, he's so hot in this too.

(28:19):
I'm the whole movie. I'm waiting when is he going
to bang someone? I just want to see him passionately,
like hook up with someone. He has sexual attention and
he never gets away out. Why is he in a
movie where he's not having sex up? You know, maybe
he just didn't want to paint his back. He's just
like being a good uncle, but he has to get
rid of that tattoo that yeah, no one wants that

(28:42):
could but they could. They could probably paint over that tattoo.
So you grew up in a bar car and grew
up in a bar. It's been a lot a lot
of time playing those games, all different kinds. We had
a basketball game, so my dad would like open that
up so the balls would just come roll back the
whole time. Well, yeah, I don't stand in the cage,

(29:04):
which was cool. I could actually make the basket, and
then you'd be in a cage like they always wanted
you to be. They're like, yeah, go in that basketball game.
Yeah we could see you over there. Uh, that's Tetris
and was a big Tetris. Tetris came out and it
was like a huge Tetris, Like he was so huge
on the corner of the bar. I think they just

(29:25):
had sing. I feel like the basketball game was just
a milk carton in the back. Yeah. You like he
couldn't he couldn't rig to like stay on. So they
would just give me like a huge sack of quarters
for Tetris and I would just like play it endlessly

(29:46):
like your iPad. Yeah, totally just have sack of quarters.
I just heard on the radio to day that Tetris
has been known to if you get in a car
accident and you played they you know, if you could
have trauma and you play Tetris right away after the trauma,
that which is weird to like hands when a game
boy right after they've been in like a horrible cook
like t boned and their leg is like, you know missing.

(30:16):
I'm not white dress, I'm poor Christian Christian poor sounds
so much Catholic poor, too many kids, So wait, so
what happens I didn't that's an alcoholic um. So yeah,
people if people play tet Dress after a traumatic event,

(30:36):
they don't have memories of the event, they don't have
as much PTSD of the event because you know, and
then this is another one of your weird stats are
like it was on the Courtney Show today for Tuesday Tidbits,
So what happened? So someone gets horrible like PTSD and
so then they grab Yeah, and then this at the

(31:00):
BDS compared to people that would just ruminate on it
and write down what happened to that would be any
video game or just Tetris is that they found. And
it kind of makes sense because when you close your
eyes after playing Tetris a lot during the day, see
a Tetris and it doesn't happen with like you know,
today on the Quarty Show, Courting was like, oh, it
doesn't happen when I played Candy Crush, but when I

(31:21):
play Tetris, I see it. And it's like that is
interesting that Tetris can kind of just like get your
mind off things in that way and kind of rewire
your brain to because trauma actually has a physical manifestation
in your brain. I mean, it's not just it makes
sense because you know that's emotional, and then Tetris is
like the most analytical thing you can. You're just literally

(31:42):
putting together squares. It's like a puzzle. I bet your puzzle.
Whenever someone starts telling me about their molestation, I'll just go,
oh my god. Yeah. I don't know. I feel like
it's triggering because that would remind me in my childhood
of when it happen. So I don't know. Well, I mean,
I think it depends on what your relationship to Tetris is.

(32:04):
But I'm just saying a game like Tetris will get
people to listen. It's the only way I got through.
I like Snood too. Oh yes, Snake was cool got me.
That's how I got called cheating in college. Oh yeah,
because you were playing Snake after you already entered that is,
so you too, just like quickly do something. He had

(32:25):
all the answers to a test already that we're in
his calculator, and then he put them all in like
he didn't even mind, like he was doing the like
how long it might take someone who did not like
who did the test. He just quickly filled out all
the answers and then uh wait, he decided to wait
the rest of the time and play Snake. And so
the professor saw and was like, there's no way you're done,

(32:48):
and he's like either he's coming up with some weird
equations left, left, right, this is. This is Andrew Colin works. Yesterday,
we got lunch because we were having doing the thing
with a bunch of cameras around us, and they bought
us lunch, and we got our lunch, and Andrew quickly
got his and went up to it or went down.
Let me just make clear, he went down to his
apartment and um, the woman that gave us our lunch

(33:09):
came back and was like, I forgot to give Andrew
his sauce. He has no sauce, so he's just eating
like sauceless food, like sauce on the side food. And
it was already three minutes after Andrew had left, so
I said, I don't even worry about it. He's already eating.
There's no way that he goes this doesn't have any taste.
I'm not going to keep eating it until I get
the right amount you and I texted you and I
was like, Grace is bringing you sauce and you were like,

(33:32):
it's okay, don't worry about it. I go. I told
her you already ate it and you were like already dead,
I know. And then she brought it. I put it
on and I was like, it is better, so much
better it is. I mean, but it had sweet potato
beans chicken and had things inside it, I know, but
sauces everything. You just for like, yeah, I just didn't

(33:53):
want to come back up nine floors and we both
live in the most annoying apartments ever. They're so far
away from the elevator, and I was just like, I
don't need me so today. Yeah. Also, we only had
thirty minutes between whatever. So wait, so you grew up
in a bar. What's the most redneck thing? A lot
of chicken tenders. She grew up on tenders. I like

(34:15):
the idea that you got these quarters and then it
just went back to the bar and then they just
recycled them. Yeah. Wait, so what's like the most like
red nicky thing that you can remember? Um, what was
your first car? My first car wasn't red nicky. It
wasn't a Zuzu Trooper. You know, this is the Catholic

(34:40):
They don't even make those anymore. I'll randomly see one
sometime I'm like, oh, this is my high school car.
But it was great. I had like a huge sunroof.
We could all like hang out a cheerleader. She won state. Yeah, popular,
Well it was it was both. It was I thought
you were like the hot girl that everyone hated. So

(35:00):
I got bullied my ninth grade year and then then
I made up with all my friends, like each girl
got there was always a girl that got bullied ninth
grade because my tids exploded over the summer. Didn't have
enough money for a complete new wardrobe with these new tids,
so I was wearing like really tight stuff and like

(35:24):
all the older girls were just like, she's a slut.
Look at that little whore, and they wrote slut on
my locker. Like one day after lunch, I was like
I left the cafeteria and they were all these older
girls following me, like the juniors and seniors, and I
was like, why are they following? It so weird And
they were going, Carly Forrester is a hork because they
used to go by Carly because kids can't pronounce Carlisle

(35:46):
in the South. Uh, And they were like, Carly Forrester
is a whore. Carly Forster is a slut, and just
like saying that really loud, and I was like, what
the funk? And then I got to my locker and
it said slut really big on it. Oh my god,
the the assistant principal coach. How rest in peace? He

(36:07):
loved me so much. Yes, he died and he was
so sweet and he loved me so much. He had
that painted over I think in twenty minutes. Yeah, like
he did. He was such a good man man. So sad?
Did you cry? God? Yes? But you know what I

(36:29):
told my mom and she cried so hard, and that's
when I was like, Okay, I'm never telling you anything again.
Like I felt so bad for it made her so sad.
It made me strong. I lived through that made you
played after did you want her to do? Like? Isn't
that nice that she was sad? What did you make
it about her? No? It was no, it was so nice,
but I just felt bad, like it made me hurt

(36:50):
all over again to see how sad it made her
and my two I had two, You were failing her,
Like I had two friends that were sophomores, so they
were one year older than me, and they always drove
me to and from school, so they were there with
me and they were like we got her, miss Pat,
We're not going to let that happen again. And then
like we were all just like telling her that it
was going to be okay. Yes, all that. So, so

(37:18):
when you do you have a lot of rednecked parties.
They're like out in the woods, like just on a
trunk listening Jason Aldean or something. We okay Jason Aldean,
Remember when we're saying nineties country together. Yes, yes, that's
what we did in high school. We would go out
to this place called White's Bottom. There would be a
bonfire and we would drink and it was why I

(37:40):
just think it was white like the color it was,
why it was w y a t t and just
everybody pronounced it wrong, Yes it was, and it was
like it was say l a w y e er
lawyer law she said last night. She goes, well, you

(38:02):
can do the laws. Showed up and I go the lar.
She goes Lars called her. That's what you're saying, her friend, Jamie.
She goes, well, she guess what did you hear that
Lars called her? And now she's going to get a settlement.
She goes large and I go the Metallica Lars and
I go Lars Lars. Yeah, Laws and The Real Girl,

(38:25):
The Good Girl. That movie is so weird. Did you
ever see and the Girl? Isn't that Ryan? Ryan y No? Ryan,
people are screaming it right now. Ryan the hot one,

(38:47):
the one that everyone loves. Yeah, he's literally and everything.
He's like the most the notebook you were always talking
about Ryan, Ryan Reynolds. No, that's that's going. Yeah, your
mom's maiden name. Listen, you gotta get blanking live. We
gotta get to the news. So let's do we all
go down to white bottom, White bottom, Wat's bottom. Oh man, man,

(39:14):
what a what a great day. It's Tuesday, folks. You
know what that means. It it's Tuesday. We got car Nile.
What's your middle name again, Esther Carlisle is my middle name?
Oh right, Trooper, But it's no, that is my middle name.

(39:35):
My first name is Esther Nikki Wait. I don't even
know if they make a Zuzu's at all anymore. I
don't think they do, not even yet, so that yet
they do. My my my name. My cousin just had
a paper. She's making them still. One of my cousins
has so many fucking kids, dude, she has like seven

(39:58):
or eight kids. I can't keep I see a picture
my friend sent me a picture that my friend, my
my other cousins sent to the other day of her family,
and I just was like, I thought it was the duggers.
I thought he was sending me a picture of the duggers.
It was like, I cannot believe how many kids my
dog cousin has. It's so wild. I'm making up for

(40:18):
all the ones you're not gonna have. That's true, you're
fine with your family tree keep going like no Glazers dead.
But it would be even if I had a kid,
you know, like I would unless I have a kid
as a single mother. That's kind of like it's kind
of resting on my shoulders. You should be able to
have both names. I know, well, you could do hyphenated,

(40:38):
but then what if my daughter who's named Glazer Reynolds
or Gosling Glazer Gosling. What if Glazer Gosling then marry
someone who wants who is hyphenated who wants and then
they have a baby and then it has to be
Glazer Gosling. Uh Phillips Houston. You know what they call
those what lawyers? Right? Those are lars alright. First stories

(41:05):
about a hacker. Hacker nineteen, that's his age, all right.
He takes control of more than twenty Tesla vehicles in
ten countries through a flaw on a third party software
let him unlocked doors and windows, start the cars without keys,
disabled security, spy on the drivers. I'm sure, dude, maybe

(41:27):
due to far because all all Teslas can fart. We
learned that from an Uber driver because Kyle Kyle getting
car farted. And then we got in an Uber in
Monterey to go to our show and I did not
feel like talking to the Uber driver. And Andrews like, Tesla, Okay, hey,
is this thing fart? And I hope. I just looked
at my goat. No, we're not doing that. I'm not
gonna be here in part Sounds of the Way show

(41:48):
because I was working on my notes and the guy goes,
I'll tell you something. All Tesla's fart. He goes, because
because Andrew goes, I think one of my friends he
has a Tesla, couldn't fart. He goes. Plea's lying to
you because every Tesla is capable of parting. It's like
the new women don't fart? Oh women, All women named

(42:11):
Tesla fart um. The amazing thing about this is this
guy he wasn't like trying to be like a piece
of ship. Like he reached out to Elon Musk and
was like, hey, here's a flaw in your system. So
I wonder if the guy he should get a job.
To be honest, I mean, I think he will probably
get a job or murdered. Seriously, Hill commits suicide by

(42:35):
getting run over by a tested self. The Tesla played
like Tesla's farted, Like you know what, sometimes too far
because you're holding one in and you like go to
pick up a box or something, you beend a weird
guy like you bet an angle. It runs over a person,

(42:59):
it's and it's like embarrassed as my legs broken. Yeah
that was the worst. I look bad that day. That
would be cool. They'd call it tesling. Oh man, I yeah,
I farted during the Presidentiary Award. Yeah, and just was

(43:22):
on the third one. I farted so loud. I did
five sit ups in a minute or two minutes because yeah,
that was there and someone was holding my feet. I
feel bad now. Some people say they want to go
back in time and like who killed Kennedy or like
go back and I just want to witness that moment.

(43:42):
That's the only thing it is. And you looking at
the window crying writing what was great? Too? Is like
like it was a month before that I farted in class,
but I sneezed. I snarted, and I blamed Kareem Basali
to this day, I blamed Kareem for I go, There's
no way I could art and sneeze. And everyone bought it.

(44:03):
Everyone bought it. It's like opening your eyes when you're sneezing.
You're like, it's it's like your belly while you're beating
the ship out of a dog. What got dark? Okay?
But yeah no, but this hacker stuff like have you
seen catch me if you can? So that guy after
he got arrest and got out of jail, ended up

(44:24):
like working for the FBI because he was catching people
that can do They used the criminal because they're the
ones that can beat the system. I mean, I'm have
you seen the movie, Charus? Have you seen it? Chars?
Have you seen it? Chris Noah, what's an award winning
documentary about? Yeah, cycling? I want to know we're trying

(44:48):
to get through it. Why does this movie to test it? Well?
I wanted to watch the movie because I love documentaries
and I this thing won an Academy Award or maybe
an Emmy over my friend who produced the Jim and Andy,
the one about Jim Carrey and Andy Kaufman. He said

(45:09):
that they got beat by Charus, and everyone that was
in the van with us was like, well, Charus was
fucking great. And so I've been watching a Chris and
I don't. I am so sick of documentaries that are
made by guys that think they're cool. Documentary by a
dude is like and they're like acting like they're doing
it nobly. They really just want to be in camera
and be like quirky, like they're supposed to be behind

(45:30):
the camera. But now we're forced to watch this person
like in front of the camera being like a little
bit like inquisitive and you know, just like questioning things.
And does have a good story. It's about a guy
who wants to do doesn't take a regular guy, takes
steroids under the um like a god. Not in that

(45:57):
sense at all. It wasn't so he wants to be
in the Tour de France. No, it's the there's this
huge it's Tour de France. On steroids. Literally, I mean literally,
but it's like tour to France for people who are insane,
Like it's like all the hardest parts of France in
one thing, and they don't test, they don't test for it.

(46:17):
But he wants to see like how much he can
change with the steroids, and he wants to see if
he can beat all of the piss tests, like to
see how Lance Armstrung did this. So then he's like
using this Russian doctor that ends up being like, uh,
fired from the It's just I don't understand why it's interesting.
I don't get what the stakes are. I understand that
this guy now is being like, you know, it's kind

(46:39):
of like the guy that named McDonald's every Day. I
love that one. But that's that's the thing about McDonald's.
You can eat McDonald's every day and not gain weight.
Look at me have bad like but you just the
problem is people eat too much of it. If you
eat a normal amount of McDonald's, a normal amount of McDonald's,
I feel like they will face one big No, it's

(47:03):
not good for you. But I'm just saying you won't
be fat if you eat. No, they're eating big amounts
tolories of McDonald's a day. You're not going to gain
weight because it's not but you're you're gonna have terrible
cholesterol and have heart disease and all this. It's bad
for you, but it won't make you fat. Just stick
to the happy meal. Yeah, I mean that's a fashion

(47:25):
inside the calories. Yeah, but it'll clog your heart, but
it's not gonna make you fat. Bad fat doesn't make
you fat. It's eat because they eat. So what did
they get at McDonald that super supersize it? Yeah, and
then they also on top of that, they get and
they eat all during and it's empty. It doesn't make
you actually feel full, and so you keep eating. And
it has sugar and salt in it that makes you

(47:47):
crave more. I eat it a lot. That surprises people. Yeah,
but she like, but I'm just saying, like it doesn't
register in your head, like, oh this is bad for me.
It's sometimes and I'm really hungry. What's your order? It's
satisfying to me. It always tastes the same. It's like Starbucks,
no matter where you go, it's there. I get a

(48:07):
happy meal. I love this, that's it, and you happy.
Keep those I mean, it's something, what do you get?
What happy meal do you get? Um? So I get
the cheeseburger happy meal, but sometimes I'll also get a
four piece McNugget the side because I like a variety.

(48:28):
So I like a little bit of things, but like
different things. Yeah, you're not gonna gain if you eat
a happy meal three times today, you're not going to
get happy. That is the amount of calories you should
be having. We should be I bet you if you
go back to nineteen sixties McDonald's cheeseburger, it goes It's
like a taco bell taco. They disappear in your mouth.

(48:49):
I know, but that that's what I'm saying. It's like,
it's not actually good food. But if you eat it
in in portion, if you eat two thousand calories McDonald's,
you're not going to gain weight. Because that's how my
bar he had a bit on he was on Fallon recently.
He's talking about how he's at McDonald's and a guy
like recognized him who was on a road trip, and
he's like, yeah, on a road trip to stop and

(49:10):
buy what about you? He's like, I live And he
was googling diabetes because his friend said because you've been
having some like whatever physical He's googling diabetes in line
at McDonald's and I wrote him, I was like, that's
like googling AIDS at a at a brothel. But like, yeah,

(49:30):
I don't know. It's just really funny to think, like
I get Chick fil a all the time. I mean
the same thing. Yeah, for some reason in your mind, No,
you think chick fil A's healthier, and I know not
though it's the exact same thing. It's just more expensive.
Taco Bell me up though I tried to talk about
my last road drink. It's bad for you. It's so quick. Yeah,

(49:51):
it's not me. Taco Bell is like rat meat. I mean,
I'm sure McDonald's is to worry about like heart disease
in my cholesterol because I don't eat. I eat very healthily,
but um, do you guys think about that? Like I'm
not trying to be like I don't have to worry
about it. I'm wondering, like, register when you eat? Because
I don't eat fried foods. Ever, does it register like
this is bad for your like cheese and lots of Like, honestly,

(50:12):
do you think of us? Because because do you think
about that on the podcast about the fried food thing.
And I have been really trying to eat more salad
like this now that I've been here, if you noticed that,
I've been eating like tons and tons of salad. But
first of you, what I eat more salad? Yeah no,

(50:34):
but most people go, I'll eat more salads. No, no,
what we need a judgment on this. I think both work,
to be honest. Yeah, salads like our portions, like single
portions are salads, but salad in general, I've been eating
more chicken. Like if you were eating more chicken sandwiches,

(50:55):
you'd say chicken. You wouldn't say I'm eating more chicken sandwich,
but you would say I'm eating more chickens and say
I'm eating more chickens. I get that, But I think
with salad, salad, any kind of lettuce or like a chair.
I don't know that story. Oh it's amazing how we
can get from Tesla's to say I am worried about

(51:17):
my heart. By the way, yeah, because my everyone in
my family have had heart attacks and I've had minor
heart Eat more salade. Die. Twenty year old beauty blogger
claims that using semen as face cream is the secret
to glowing skin. Nicki's been doing this for years, and

(51:38):
she's been trying to get the word out. No, it's
my secret. You guys, don't give it a word. Cheap, homemade, alternative,
too expensive products, products are too expensive. She called her
friend on FaceTime, Hey, can I get your semen? She
puts the semen with lotion and she's been using it
on her face she put on trying to get followers.
I mean, there's no way you get semen on your

(51:59):
face a rise. It kind of like pulls it back,
almost like those, um, those face masks that used to
Like I put on a faceman sesterday, I felt like
someone came all over me, dry and it pulls you
exactly what you're saying, But that doesn't mean it working.
Just because it dries and pulls your face like that
doesn't mean it's doing what you need it to do.

(52:21):
But why wouldn't it work? Like my thing? Like what
is in there? Like a lot of these things have
like foreskin of babies or whatever, right one of them.
I don't think that there's four skin and calm. I
don't know. I mean, like I think there would be
science behind it if calm was really good for your skin.

(52:41):
They wouldn't just I think this is a ticktiker trying
to get falls. I'm great skin. I don't know if
it's a filter or what, but it's probably a filter,
because men can never tell when they're filters. They always
they think everyone has great skin. Men need to be
a lot more discerning. I mean, is an amazing photo.
I mean, look at this. Yeah, that's a filter. Look,
I'll give it a try. I'll use it on my elevens.

(53:03):
I that's the part you want tight, I just a little.
I didn't get any out. Yeah, I'll report back. I mean,
I'm not going to be able to get a steady
supply of it for a while because but I want
all of it every time my yeah to swallow it. Yeah,

(53:26):
my stomach is glossy and shiny and yeah, um no,
I don't want to like I don't when I have sex.
The final part is like a fun part. I don't
want to hold out a jar and like screw on
the top and put it in my little refrigerator in
my bath. That's exactly where she keeps hers, a little

(53:48):
tiny fridge right in the fridge. Why thank you? That
reminds you of this Icarus movie. They're just freezing piss.
My girlfriend was like, hey, I want you to come
from my face. It is like, it's pretty intense to
hear that, to be like, I want your come from
my skin. Care do you like it? I mean, it'd

(54:09):
be helpful if mom helping her. I don't know if
might come after I eat Chick fil a. You're going
to break out, you know. I don't want to come
on my face outside of a sexual thing. You know
how like when your horny come on your face is
like a great idea, but when you're not, Yeah, it's ridiculous, gross, wild.
But what are we putting on our faces? Like, what

(54:29):
are in those face masks? It's it's it's my dermatologists come.
Nicole called back to the thing that wasn't on the show,
but you'll see it on something we taped. Maybe probably
not the next story, all right, women snaps a selfie

(54:51):
on top of her Wow. Speaking of car crashes. Rapidly
sinking car after crashing through the ice of a frozen
Canada river while Good Samaritan's Russia savers. So this girl
cratches her car and is standing on top of it,
taking a selfie of her car going into the lake.
I'd probably do that because you're like, I'm gonna be rescued.

(55:12):
This is insane. This is gonna be a funny picture,
like what she supposed to do? Just sit there. I
guess it is hilarious, but that wouldn't be standing up.
I mean that seems like a very risky situation to
be standing and sit, and I'd still take a picture.
I don't think there's anything wrong with taking selfies when
something horrible is happening. Look, it's horrible, that's her horrible thing.
If it's something horrible to someone else, if her baby

(55:33):
was strapped in the car seat and that thing, I
think that would be inappropriate. But I mean she seems
to have a handle on things. Yeah, selfie handlestick. See
her selfie picture of that. That is hilarious. I mean
it's very funny. But I do think it's just like
it just shows where we are, I know it society
of like oh I got stabbed, like we want like

(55:57):
like your car is literally I wouldn't take a self
because I wanted likes. I would just be like, it's
hilarious that my car is doing. This has already happened,
It's happening. I just have to wait for it to
go under. I mean, what was she gonna do? I mean,
I don't yeah, you just I don't know. Just everything.
It's not sinking. It looks like it's like stuck that way,
So I feel like she's she's on a sturdy car.

(56:19):
But but you're right, I don't think that I would
think to do that. Believes charged her with one kind
of dangerous operation of a motor vehicle. So it doesn't
help your case if you're in front of a judge
and it's like, oh, so after you accidentally crash your car,
put it on TikTok. You know what I mean? At
good point, Yeah, that's not gonna help you. You you
think a lot about likes. I'm just thinking I want

(56:40):
to capture it to show my friends and be like,
isn't this wild? You would definitely post it. Yeah, but
I'm not thinking about like people are gonna think about content.
You think about content. It's funny, but I'm not like,
oh this is people are gonna like. I don't think
about likes. You think about content, which equals I think
about like, oh this is in this thing, and I
want to show people something that's interesting, but I'm not

(57:02):
like this will get me likes? Do you know what
I'm saying? The difference between that of like this is
something entertaining for the math is I have to document
this because what I say, I mean, I think that
goes hand in hand. I think a funny thing. You
pay attention to likes is what I'm saying. I pay
attention to the first ten minutes of likes, and then

(57:23):
I don't care anymore. And then you were racing if
it's not doing so well, and then I killed yeah,
and then I cut my wrists and then I found
that while I'm in a car, I just don't think
about likes ever, Like yesterday, I had to go into
my Instagram and so you were saying that you were
getting shadow band, so you obviously pay attention to life. Know,
people told me that I that I was shadow band
because I wasn't showing up. I would have never noticed.

(57:45):
And then I started paying attention, but I truly wouldn't
have noticed. Truth touche. Let's go to break and come
back with a Reddit dub. Why do I care? Oh? Yeah,
why do I care? Okay, Andrew, why do I care?
Why do I care? Why do you care? Picture justin

(58:05):
Oh picture picture justin Land jokes about coordinating outfits with
model wife Kate Upton on Instagram. We may or may
not have coordinated these matching outfits, and by we I
mean Kate relined equipped. Um, how do we feel about
matching with your spouse? And match and we don't talk

(58:27):
about it? And that's really fun? Actually yeah, I think
it's cute. But when on purpose it's a little it's
kind of there's that couple that's like, I'm wearing makes
you two have fun? Like I think it's like whatever
can bring some spice to a relationship that's a monogamous,
years long, committed thing. If you're goofing around together and

(58:50):
something's fun to you, just do it. I think it's sweet.
I see a lot of people making fun of the
matching Christmas pajamas and I love it. Yeah did you do? Yeah? Yeah,
you've done. No shame. I think the Christmas tomas are
stupid because you can only wear them once, you know,
I mean that's the rule. What's the rule? I mean
it feels stupid. I think people are trying people putting

(59:12):
on their faces I mean more than once. I actually
brought mine here because I thought it was gonna be
Oh my god, Carlole thought she was walking into a
tundra as seriously going to like do some studies of
penguins and an aren't. Because this is what I thought.
I have so many furs and hats and like this

(59:33):
leg warmer look is my thing while I'm here in St. Louis,
because I just I felt like it was gonna be
cold and you were going to be used to it
and cranking the A C the whole time, yeah, which
I am. I mean like she turns it up to
like seventy four sometimes and I won't out here it is.
I'm just like, how would you sleep with that? I
sleep with it fifty nine in my room. I like
it to be outdoors cold and bundle Yeah, so good.

(59:57):
We never really found the right thermometer, yeah or no. Yeah,
I keep it around. Yeah, that's the right time. Just
when you sleep, do you sleep in like long clothing
and then you also have it to seventy four like
you like it to be hot in the room hot
in that. I have sleep in long clothing because my
boyfriend is like you, and he went to crank up

(01:00:18):
the A C. Like he sleeps with a c blaring,
and I like the white noise too, because you grew
up in a barn in Mississippi, because you know, we
didn't have a door on that barn. And I sleep
you know, the boxed wine seller back in the I
just slept on the box of um. Okay, yeah, I

(01:00:38):
don't mind up Kate Upton and that justin Verlinda. I'm
always kind of jealous of the relationship. They seem really cute.
I mean they're very successful and hot, gonna be hot.
Um alright, guys, let's get it to redd it dumb
karaoke mode. This is your red alrighty, let's see what

(01:00:59):
we here. Saved lemon, Look, lemon, look lemon? Look where
the hell is this? Okay? All right? Um oh, this
was really funny. So this girl was doing a TikTok
and then her boyfriend was like walking. She probably lives
with her boyfriends, a young girl, she's probably like twenty,
and her boyfriend interrupts her TikTok to like say something,

(01:01:21):
and it's just like shows they're kind of cute relationship
and like she's getting a kick out of him. Okay,
so she's about to do like some kind of dance
and she's like, this is for all my girls or something. Okay,
so this one is really for the girls. Okay, so
what are you and either yeah, okay, I'll keeping trying.

(01:01:42):
He's outside the door out the other night and the bag,
trying to tell me there was a hundred in there,
which means the bag and I'll tell you what it
looks like about So if I find out that there's
only like, send me some roles in that bag, we're
calling tokyo strongly word besses. He eats it all of

(01:02:05):
that without knowing she was filming. He's just like, and
they're not they're not good enough factors. I watched it
twice to like check and break it down. Yeah, and
people in the comments will always kind of bust it
if it's fake, and no one did, so that would
make me think she had a guy over she ate
thirty six. Oh well you should see her answer and

(01:02:26):
she's like, no, I didn't. And he's like, but he's
just cute that He's like, that's what he's keeping tracking
And she and I liked it because she got a
kick out of how cute he was. And she's just
like looking at the camera as he's talking, knowing she's
capturing it, being like because he's like, because I'll tell
you what, there's less than seventy in there. Um. This

(01:02:46):
is from suspiciously Specific. This is the subbreddit suspiciously specific,
and that's when someone has you wanna try to say that. Um,
this is when something is just too specific and it's funny.
So this is a tweet for my guy named Mark Leidner.
Each morning, I put one uncooked ravioli in a thermos,
I pour hot water over it's steeping it like tea,

(01:03:08):
and then I drink it all day at work. I
work at the White House. At the end of the day,
as I take the last sip of the tea, the
soft gravili slides into my mouth and I eat Those
guys works in the White House. It seems like something
that like just it's during Trump era. Having a ravioli

(01:03:28):
just sit on the bottom and then just slide down
like an oyster. It's like a human noise. It's like, yeah, okay.
This is from the subrenit psychology and it says, yes,
your dog can understand what you're saying. To a point
graduate student working on dogs scent detection abilities, says this,
and then, um, a really interesting thing I found within
the subreddit is that, um, most people go seeing as

(01:03:51):
we all agree that dogs are highly empathetic and intuitive.
They understand a lot more than just what one is saying.
Sometimes words are not even necessary. And then this was interesting.
Dogs and humans co evolved together. Dogs can read a
lot of human body language and facial expressions from birth.
Dogs are one of the only animals that watch our
faces for cues. There was a study done that I
read about a few years ago where puppies would follow

(01:04:12):
a human's eyes human humans eye gaze to determine where
a toy or treat was hidden. There has also been
research showing that humans can differentiate between different barks and
can tell if a dog is excited or distressed. I
definitely can tell when a dog is like fucking scared.
Dogs and humans both had an impact on each other's development.
I think that's very interesting. And dogs are one of

(01:04:34):
the only animals that look you in the eye and
that you can go over there and they'll you like,
look at something and they'll look in that directly the
impression over there. No, no, we won't even have to
say it. Yeah, they're yeah, well it's a podcast. Well
I think like dogs know, like if you're on the
couch and you don't want to be talked to, they know,

(01:04:56):
like they'll go on lay on their beds. You just
have to kick them real hard and they get it.
They can your body language when it hits them. It's interesting.
How um And someone said, um, there was a study
recently this was really cool that found dogs can tell
the difference between their native language, a foreign language, and
a gibberish language designed to sound like their native language.
So if I was just like but I hadn't a

(01:05:18):
good a little like like something that sounded like that
didn't sound like it, but it sounded like English. You
know those things that sound like what English would sound
like if you didn't speak English. Have you ever heard that?
But yeah, kind of like that. Well Luigi knows Gibberish.
Did they go into the goolulu? That was a bad one,
look at them. But it is interesting when you remember

(01:05:41):
hearing that dogs were the one of the only animals
that look you in the eye, and it really is
like that look to you for and oh no, I
heard that they are the only animals that can understand
a point, and we'll look towards a point that you do.
I mean, anytime I think about this stuff. Dogs help
blind people walking. But but cats don't follow a point.
Squirrels won't follow a point. Other aunt birds won't follow

(01:06:03):
a point. Like to point out something and have the
dog look and know that you're sick, that's a pretty
incredible thing. My dog that I have now is the
first one I've ever had that watches TV. That's so
she legit watches TV. And if something's too violent, we
have to turn it off because she's watching it, and
she does. She respond, I gotta show you videos your

(01:06:24):
dog does have humanizing Yeah, your dog, it must be
the humanizing. Did Bruno watch TV? Ever? Noah, I don't
think he did dogs on TV? Yeah, he has your dog.
Your dog knew when a TV if he saw a

(01:06:46):
TV dog. That's cool. I wish Luigi watch TV sometimes
because he's just like staring at a pillow and I'm like, dude,
we got back right up here, Like you could be
entertained by like moving shapes and colors that watch that.
But she likes to watch stuff about animals on those
nature shows and all kinds of stuff and she's so entertained.

(01:07:06):
Well there's a dog channel. Um, this is the girl. Uh.
This is from hole up h O l u P.
It's where something at the end of the video was
like wait what and this girl, um reminds me of myself.
This is a joke that I would have made. But
she's sitting in the backseat of her car and her
dad is asking her what did you just say? And
her mom's driving. She's a teenager. Did you say everyone

(01:07:29):
in this car has been insided you're at one point
or another. She's just like, everyone in this car has
been insided you're at one point or another. You would
say to you something that I would say when I
was thirteen, and everyone would just be like, nicky, why

(01:07:49):
would you say that? Like your sister's reaction to she's like,
oh my god, you're crazy. Yeahs like why would you?
And her dad's just like giggling. Um, let's see, what's
a great family. I'm jealous of that family, right. I
picked this one for you, Andrew. This is from subreddit
dating girls have tried a massive dick and an average dick?

(01:08:12):
What do they feel like? For measurements? Massive being eight
plus inches, average being five and a half six to
six and half inches, Like, what's the difference? Do you
prefer one at at all? Do the styles differ at all?
Asking for a friend that um someone said, I feel
I've had a pretty good range of dicks I've enjoyed,
but ultimately I think I'm gonna land on the best
sex I've ever had has been with someone with an

(01:08:32):
average size. For a few reasons. Number one, with a
huge one, only so much of it is useful. After that,
it's extra, and it's extra like that's likely to get
smashed into my cervix. Also, I got considerably more uties
with large ones too. With an average size, I can
enjoy the fact that he's all the way inside of
me and it doesn't hurt, purely pleasurable. And the fact
that he's all the way inside of me and I
don't have to feel fearful of it makes a huge difference.

(01:08:56):
Any comment. Have you had a huge, massive dicks? Yes,
And I feel like it's stretching you out for the
next guy that you're going to date that's not a player,
because guys with huge dicks always have like a big
ego to go with it. I feel like, oh so
they're not. They're not someone that you're going to be
with their fun boys. Yeah, they're stretching you out for

(01:09:22):
no reason because they're not going to date you. But
do they really stretch you out? Can you really feel
a difference, Like what do you feel? What's the difference
you feel? No, it's probably not. I just I've only
add big, you know, huge dildos in me and it
feels great, but it's like it's it's painful, So it

(01:09:44):
would be hard to have that all the time for
penetrative sex. It would be something that I would be like,
this needs to be a special occasion, final thought. But
also guys with tiny dicks, like I wouldn't want to
date that, and not even about the size. It's again
the ego that goes with it, because my caro pinis
person has a micro penis personality. But they shouldn't. I
think we change the culture about it. If they don't

(01:10:06):
grow up hating themselves because of it, we won't deal that.
That won't be the fact if everyone can just like
who they are and not feel so insecure about it,
or if the guys with the huge dicks aren't so
cool and have to be like shit because of a
big dick, which I just feel like just comes with
it in my experience. And I don't know, I don't know.

(01:10:26):
I mean, i've I guess i've I don't remember dicks
really that well, but I do know that I love
the idea because I remember thinking a guy had a
big dick, and then I talked to someone who looked
up with him and she's like, no, it wasn't. That
was like really but gigantic. No, Like I just I
just guess I didn't have much of a reference. But
I will say that I am very interested in like

(01:10:48):
fisting and like having a lot of things up there,
like seeing how far, like stretching, like and I never
thought I would be because I hate lending my like
sweaters to friends that I think might stretch them out,
Like I hate getting sure stretched out. I don't want
to have a kid because I don't want my stomach
stretched out. But for some reason, down there, I know
it can snap back pretty easily, and there's just something
about like getting there. I never thought fisting would be

(01:11:11):
something I'd be interested in it or like would ever
want to achieve. I've never done it before, but like
it's a lot of the porn I watched, and I
remember a lesbian friend of mine telling me that she
fisted her girlfriend and it was like the biggest orgasm. No,
I've asked for it. I'm on my own. Believe I'll
get there. But it's that's not that's the thing. You
have to work your way up to. Yeah, you can't.

(01:11:32):
That's the problem. A lot of porn they just have
an right away. They just fist her right away, and
it's like it comes after you come a lot like
you gotta like really relax to be able to like
like you have to have like an epidural to get it,
so you can't just go right in. And I think that, um,
it's something that I'll work my way up to, but
I think it's so hot and I never would have
thought that was hot. But it's not. But it's not

(01:11:54):
because I'm like I need something bigger. It's just like
fun once in a while thing. I guess it depends
on like how big their fist is. No, I mean
everyone has like a guy has like a pretty normal site,
like I want maybe a girl fist like that is
not that big. You're going thumb in, yeah, you go
like or you go like this that that is not

(01:12:16):
that big. I would probably be able to take that today. Yeah,
you can take that today. I have a pretty small
like I could definitely fist myself. You can take a
nap after, but a fist is this. This is like
trying to get coins. Also depends how far you go
up the arm, like some people can go to the elbum. Well,
that's when it's hitting your service. That I really related

(01:12:38):
to that, like something that's going too deep. I don't
like deep. I'd rather like wide than deep. I saw
something that I googled and stayed up all night searching.
But no, no, that a women's vaginas are actually built
for five and a half inches, like naturally, that's what
the vagina is built for, not for anything more than
that that. I type that in specifically, and then number

(01:13:04):
five point six four. No, I might think I've figured
it out. I did the calculation. Your dick is longer
than six inches. Yeah, that's a big dick that it
isn't isn't six like long? I think six average. I
think I'm I measured it the other day. What I
need is more blood. I need more. You need a

(01:13:27):
new ruler if you're measuring your dick, get a ruler
that's made in China. Yeah. No, I mean, I just
I could use some more somewhere, with some more blood.
I'll tell you what you do. I've I've had where
you put like a smaller dildo and then you put

(01:13:50):
your dick with it and you get double pen with
your dick, and that it makes a joy. I mean,
that makes a massive one. Sometimes I'll throw a finger. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I'll bring a couple of friends to the party. Yeah,
you know, David, he's got a he brought some fuking
natty lights. Yeah. I don't think I was a little

(01:14:14):
reluctant to tell my guy, like, um, I couldn't want
to get fisted someday. But also like, and I'm not
really like, I don't want to be ruined. But there's
ways to do all of these things and not ruin you.
I mean, women have babies and no one goes, oh
my god, she's such a fucking horse, she's at her
pussy'll stretch. I mean I say that, but well, a
baby is way bigger than a fist, by the way,

(01:14:36):
way bigger. No, I know, but you're not calling women
to have baby's horse should because they had sex for sure,
And no, I was just confusing. You definitely know growing
up you're like, oh my god, you got fisted, like
fisted for summers. Yes, yes it does. And so I'm
pretty reluctant to even admit that I maybe knuckles. I

(01:14:58):
want to get knuckled. I want to That sounds that's
harsh too. Maybe, um, I want to get fispounded in
my No, that would I want to get you punched? No,
what's the game in? Um? What about like monoed or
something like another word for hand That doesn't sound Maybe

(01:15:23):
someone could think of it. Yeah, maybe we'd get monoed
point shoe. Yes, you are so smart. When he's outside,
he's like a little so much from being like such
a cocky like badass on the streets. Oh not in
a Catholic church. But then you bring him inside and

(01:15:45):
he turns into this like I've been in this, I'm
a puppy in the window. Like he puts on such
an act. Look at if I just go, are you
a baby? Are you a little baby? Oh? No, oh
you're b become your baby. Come here, baby, come here,
Like if you just baby him, he'll turn into a
little baby. Come on, you can do it. Oh that's

(01:16:07):
a little baby, baby, Are you so scared? I can't
show you the world baby. If you look at the
video right now, you guys have to he's such a
but then he can be like such a little bit,
you know, it's a look at Oh he's just a baby,

(01:16:30):
digging his head in my arm. Oh look at this.
It's pretty cute, right, I was kind of suffocating him,
are you guys? We gotta go. I'm just playing with
a dog on a podcast. We've really jumped the dog.
We've jumped the shark tank today. Oh god, um, we
have another. We have two more shows coming for you

(01:16:51):
this week, will be tomorrow and Thursday. So don't miss it.
Carla Forrester's here all week. Let us know what you
want us to talk about. Let us know, uh anything
you won't you know? Oh yeah, why is why did
you blurt? Blurry? It was given to me. There's no way.
There's no way that girl gave it to your blurry.

(01:17:11):
Look at the messages. I'm gonna give it to you,
blur blurred. Thank you. Thank you to our fans for
making art for us. It's so sweet. We loved the
analizes and we loved them. You know, bit by Bees,
la Ploosa headlighting. Uh, it's gonna be so fun to
put that up. I'm gonna print that and put it
up on the wall. Thank you guys for listening to
Pika and Jack Daniels.