#312 A Hot Prowl

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Nicky Guser Podcast. Here, Hi guys, here I am.
It's Nicky Cleaser podcast. I've never been able to I've
never even sang that song went before my vocal cord
surgery because it would be so impossible to do and

(00:21):
it's do list. Um, but now it's kind of possible. Um,
Welcome to the show. It's Anya's here. Hianya nailed it, girl.
That sounded pitch perfect to me. It was pitch perfect,
but then it got it like something happened. I am
learning all about my voice and vocal lessons and if
you get nervous, your voice will give out on you.
It is all mental. It's so weird. It has nothing

(00:45):
to do with like actual what it like. It's all
your mind. If you like think, if you if you
brace for a note, you're not going to hit it.
But if you just treat it like so, you have
to trick your mind. It's all like Navy seal ship
to be able to be a good singer. That's the
ways of Taylor McGraw. You've heard her on the show before.
She's the train jump in Hobo. So this is um Noah,

(01:09):
it's also here. Anya's visiting us from New York via
the Internet, and Taylor is sitting right here with us
in my old seat. I'm in Andrew's old seat. I
don't know. I've just been liking this side recently. This
feels like my new side, even though I don't know
what side of my face is like. I mean, I
definitely do, but I don't memorize it. I never know

(01:30):
a bad one it is. Oh no, you turn around,
see what pretty? This one is good? You've a good No, no,
you have a good mole right here? Did you put
that on? Yeah? Tattooed? No way, did you really wait?
You have one on air and you have one on Yeah,
that's one. You tattooed that because it's my favorite freckle

(01:52):
and it would go away in this in the winter,
and I wanted to remain. But why don't you go
all in on your e lasma? Well, actually, as I've
done that too with my beauty mark that's above my
lip because I play your hair removal like the color out. No, no, no, no,
oh my god, that's so crazy. I want to get

(02:15):
you know, I had a um right, do you see
all this on my nose? I scratched my nose yesterday
washing my face with my ring. It caught on it
and ripped it and it ripped like a chunk off.
But it looks like a mole, a cool mole, or
it looks like I just ate a kind bar that
a chocolate on it, and every too mad a kind bar.
There's speckles of chocolate all over my face. But um,

(02:36):
my point is one time I had a mole that
was or a pimple in a good place and I
colored it in and it was like, oh Maryland mom, proactive,
Um yeah, face tattoo, that's hardcore. I was just yeah.
One day I was just like, how it's gone? And
then I just put it there. I don't know what
was your first tto, because you have so many. When

(02:57):
did you just like to go for it? Um? I had?
I got one on my wrist at like my friend
at it were you drawn on whatever it's called? No, no, no,
he was a tattoo artist. I guess it's kind of
like losing your virginity, Like what makes you just break
the seal? Because once you break the seal, all other
tattoos it's a fucking free for all with people. But
breaking the seal, I'm wondering, like the first one when

(03:20):
Andrew got his first one, it was just like so
out of he went alone, which I thought was a
weird move because usually you're like a like I need support,
but he just he knew that any of his friends
would talk him out of it, which we would have,
so it was so for help. I guaranteed he's looking
into get now anything connected to me. He is urgently

(03:43):
trying to erase from his because it was a joke
that we were together when it came out in said puddles.
But I still think it's cool. I think he should
keep it because I like, I liked that she was
even if it's someone like we're not even we're well,
we'll be fine, we'll be friends. But even if even
if we had a horrible breakup and he hate to me,
it's still like funny to have like change it into
something else like puddle of like making the band means anything,

(04:09):
it'sund like it's your initials. Yeah, it was a reference
to a girl being so excited about him that she
was puddling she was a lie? Would that make you mad?
If Matt had had a tattoo, It wasn't a lie.
I wanted it to be so bad she really because
we followed up with her. I go, I think she
peter her pants and she was laughing, which is also good,
Like she has puddles in her pants? You saw No,

(04:30):
She wrote to him being like or maybe it was
in comments or something, and it was like, you make
me puddle in my pants, and Andrew was like, feeling
really cool about it. We were driving down to Atlantic
City and he was feeling like I made her puddle
in her pants, and I think we were on Instagram
just like joking about it, and I go, no, it
wasn't may her p which is cool, but you didn't
make her like cream her jees. And then she wrote

(04:52):
back she was like no, I'm horny for him, and
I was like, okay, I fine, you win it is.
She didn't you make a girl puddle in her pants? Um,
and so he got a tattoo of it. He became
puddle Boy and I don't bring him on stages puddle boy,
and he would be like, we not anymore, Like you're
leaving that in the past. But would you would you

(05:13):
what would you feel if your boyfriend had a tattoo
of something? You mean, you have a famous like a
guy in the arts any girls probably have puddled in
their pants because of Matt's music. Obvi as well has
made probably girls puddle in their pants. Av You could
see him play music in the um an episode of
Veep that I saw recently. Um, he's in a heavy
metal band on Veep. Shut. I did not know this. Yeah,

(05:37):
so Jonah Ryan brings my forever crush. Um Uh what's
his name? Read Scott? I forget his name was Dan
to this like heavy metal show and they go and uh,
he's trying to like network with Dan is trying to
network with Jonah, and Jonah is like looking for a
new friend. And they go to the show and these

(05:58):
guys are fucking awesome and it's just like and then
it's af on stage. Oh god, I remember this. Your boyfriends.
If some had a tattoo to commemorate something another woman
said about them sexually, how would you feel. I think
it's a compliment. I'd be into it as long as
it's like over a decade ago. Okay, I think I

(06:20):
would roll my eyes every time I saw it, and
I would love it, like if it was on our guy.
Sorry I misunderstood it was yours a tattoo that's like
yeas puddles, like one time a girl said she he
made me put like I mean, Andrew was doing it
for comedy. He's a comedian, so it makes more sense.
But you know, like I guess I feel like I

(06:42):
grew up on for Laser Remove group. I don't know
it's gonna be into it. I think we have a
couple of things to follow up from the show yesterday,
and I just want to bring you into this conversation
because we I have never felt stupider in my life
than yes And I almost wanted to not air the episode,
but you know what I have to. I have to

(07:03):
be honest. There was a part of me that was like,
people don't need to see me being this dumb. And
I was on my high horse about something when I
was dumb, which is even more embarrassing. I just want
to say I am aware of how embarrassing it was.
So the other night, I was at the Dave Chappelle
and Chris Rock show and at one point during Chris
Rock said he made some comment about Nancy the guys
shitting on Nancy Plosy's desk January sex, you know, And

(07:25):
then there's this girl next to me and I think
you'll like this. She just goes as they should. They should,
and so I just go as they should, That's all
I said. And then she got up from her chair instantly.
I mean, like, this is one of these girls that
is looking for a fight, these people who wear these
shirts that are like I mean, I used to have

(07:46):
a joke, but it's like the guy that was that
says like I lubricate my A R fifteen with tears,
and they sit there like waiting for you to read
it all and they have to sit in a way
that you can read the whole thing because they're looking
for a fight, and so she could just I didn't
realize she was looking for a fight. I clearly kind
of was, but she got in my face and Chris
had to get between us and stuff. Anyway, during the

(08:07):
show during Soca, but also kind of cut in my
part because I was in the Bombrino box. I should
have been been, you know, behaving myself in the Bombrinto
box Marino box, and so um I was saying like,
this bitch probably doesn't even know who Nancy Pelosi is,
doesn't know anything about like anything, and then I was like,
I know, I mean, I I go, I don't even

(08:28):
know if I know who she is. I think she
is like the Secretary of State. I let me just say,
in my mind, I know she was the Speaker of
the House. I didn't know, okay, secretary of State. I
knew it was something with an s okay, so I
knew was speaker. That's how my mind works. And I'm
not saying that I'm not I should know that I
should have a memorized. By the way, I am well
aware that the Speaker of the House is that new guy,
Kevin McCarthy. I watched the hearings. I watched or I

(08:51):
watched them vote the last minute. I watched that guy
grabbed that other guy's face. I was watching c SPAN.
I saw it happened. So for me to not know
yesterday who the Secretary of State was was embarrassing for
me and I um, I don't think to have the
speaker of that sorry, the Speaker of the House. I
know who that is in the Secretary of State. I
will say I did know it was Hillary Clinton for
all of about I knew these things. I was put

(09:13):
on the spot. But at the same time, I'm not
saying good shot on someone's desk that I don't know,
you know what I'm saying, Like, I'm allowed to not
know someone who i'm saying nothing about. But if I'm
saying you should shoot on someone's desk, I should probably
know who that person is. So I'm allowed to not
know her exact title even though I didn't know it.
But I just didn't know it in that moment, which
is fine. Like I'll admit I'm kind of a dummy.

(09:35):
And so we were talking about how dumb we are
when it comes I met a state senator over the weekend,
and I thought state senators were a big deal. It
was Illinois state senator. They're two senators per state. I
do know that, so there's a hundred. I go one
of a hundred. This guy turned out to be a
state senator. Guess how many state senators there are? And

(09:55):
fucking Illinois, what what was it? You asked, like fifty
three years and your line or something? This guy and
he got all v I P like. I met him first,
and I was like, so nice to meet you, and
I'm like, there, there's probably more serial killers in Illinois
than they're like, honestly, that's a serial killer. Have you state?

(10:17):
But Yeah, it was just I feel like it's fun
for us to lean into things we don't know, and
you don't know a lot of things anything. I'm already embarrassed.
But Taylor also is you're so intelligent. I mean, tell
us what your degrees are in. I just have a
master's degree in psychology, that's it. Yeah, well that's a

(10:39):
big deal. A master's. Isn't that cool to be a
master of something? Do you guys have masters? No? And
she has a personal PhD in forensics, though for any
crime serial killer survivor, I should get like one of
those honorary PhD. What can you tell us about the
Idaho unders any updates? What has been sending me I

(11:03):
watched that sucking dateline? Or about the Idaho murders? A
whole lot of nothing. You want to hear about the
topography of fucking what's the what's Moscow? Idaho? And about like, oh,
every year this many people come through this is we
have an art scene. Like they just need filler on
these shows because they've gotten because they're waiting for the
trial to reveal any information. But the weirdest thing about

(11:26):
the Idaho murders, So a guy murdered it's it's like
him because they found the ninth sheath. They found DNA
on the sheaf that matched him, so that there is
no fucking way it's anyone else. It's like six hundred
billion odds that someone else. So the defense team is
going to have a quite a hard time. But they
pulled him over in Indiana. He was driving, so his dad.

(11:47):
This is a common thing out in the West. Parents
will fly out to visit their kids right before the
holidays and then they drive back together to the East
Coast and have holidays in the East Coast. So they
do like a kind of road trip thing. So his
dad drove out, drove him across the country. They get
pulled over in Indiana. Same car, by the way, that
was spotted on all the camps that so they pull
over in Indiana. The Indiana's like a state trooper does.

(12:08):
They're tracking him the whole way. By the way, they
already they already had him with the dad. That sucks
for the dad, so the Indiana trooper had nothing to
do with them to trailing him, but they were already
on his trail. They just needed DNA, so they were
just following him to get that DNA and then they
did and they got him, but it wasn't until Pennsylvania,
but they stopped in Indiana, and they showed the bodycamp
footage of this cops stopping him on the highway. Not
only does he get stopped once for tailgating, which who

(12:29):
gets pulled over for that? Two times within twenty minutes,
he gets pulled over by two different state troopers that
did not know for tailgating, and then the second one says, well,
since you just got pulled over, I'm gonna let you go.
That is what it is to be white, I swear
to God and how and and a man I don't
know being a woman is I've gotten not a lot

(12:49):
of tickets because I'm like, I'm a girl. I know
drive that's Asian. And I promised I wasn't trying to
beat what When I was doing my own reading on this,
I read that they were doing that as kind of
like a way to check out the car because they
had maybe because he was so overly nice the cop was.
It seemed that would that would make sense. They didn't

(13:11):
say this on this. But the weird part about this guy,
who is clearly on the spectrum, is this moment where
he goes, uh, sir, where are you They have Washington
plates or whatever. He goes, where are you driving to? Where?
Where are you from? And he goes w s U,
which is like who in Indiana knows WSU? So the
dad is saying that, and they go Washington State University.

(13:33):
He goes, okay, so what are you guys doing? What
are you doing? Where are you going? And he goes
and the driver, the murderer, goes, We're going to get
Thai food. It's like, mean, where are you going? Right now?
Where are you going? And he asked him twice. He
goes where you going? He goes, We're going to get
Thai food? And he goes, well, you were following really closely,
and he goes, but where are you guys going? Goes

(13:54):
Thai food? And you can see the dad look at
him like, are you a fucking more scared? He's scared,
but he's also I think a little satistic because that
is a logical you know, that's like I'm I'm going literal. Yes,
it's a literal answer when it's like no, where and
where are you going? You know, in life, and it's
straight to the state peditie killing for people and then

(14:15):
being like dude. They showed one kid that was like
had him as a t a in for his criminology class,
and it was like after he had murdered, they like
you saw the guy like right in the notes of
this guy's test, like have a great break. You really
showed a lot of um creativity and imagination, Like he

(14:36):
wrote something like nice with exclamation marks. I'm like, how
can you? Like, it's so interesting to see people like
do things after. I love footage of murders right after
they do it to see their body language and like
how they talk and like, I don't know, it's so fascinating.
We're right before they do it, like what what um?
They always go get food and like they must be

(14:57):
hungry from that murder before after Like Taylor knows all
this stuff about like the way the brains are for
how psychopaths and sociopaths brains are, how people who are right,
it's schizophrenic people with multiple personality to storted is at
like what you specialized in when you're doing people with schizophrenia, Yeah, usually,
but they like never murder. It's it's like recently it's

(15:21):
been a lot of people with autism, so like I
believe that. Yeah, I mean that doesn't mean that if
you have an autistic so not gonna but it's like
it used to be. People be like, oh he's schizophrenic.
Schizophrenic people don't either. They don't like were you ever?
Did you ever? Because you worked closely with like homeless
in San Francisco, which is where you did your social work, right, Yeah,
I liked in jails too, with with murderers. What was

(15:45):
the craziest thing you saw in jail or like ever? Like,
what was crazy things that happened to you? Didn't you
get cornered in your office once? Yeah? Yeah, with a
with a machete. This guy brought down like two machetes
and was like, I want you to like list these
on eBay because I knew I was like soul stuff.
And he brought them down on a tray like and
the tray also had all this like uh, it was

(16:08):
in California, so it wasn't roasted toasted regularly, but like
like tater tots and like other things, and they were
on the tray and then he locked me in my
office with the machete. But he just wanted you to
get you. He wanted them but he was threatening was
just on math. It was very confusing. What exactly he
wanted me to eat all of the food on there?

(16:28):
I know that. Wait what was Oh my god, it's
like a fear factor challenge shopping. How did he What
was the most you ever? Did you ever have fear
for your life? Wait? You have a really good story
of one time didn't someone like break into your house
when you were there and you like saw them. It
almost reminds me of the Idaho Yes, but that yeah,
that wasn't Yeah it was anybody I knew, but yeah,

(16:48):
it was called a hot pro that's when you're there.
So like, if if they just come and steal ship,
the cops don't care. But if you're there, they were like, well,
we're gonna come and fingerprint everything. I was like, what,
I didn't think they would care San Francisco and they're like, no, ma'am,
this one's a hot prow because they could have, you know,

(17:09):
in the heat of the moment, sometimes you're like, well,
there's girls in here, I should rape them or whatever.
I always think that one time there was a break
in at Catherine's house when I was staying in Colorado,
and if I would have been there the day before
when I was supposed to get in. They would have
been there when I was there. And I remember telling
Tom Tacar and my opener at the time, like I
would have been raped, and he's like, well they were
there to steal. I'm like, if you're there, you might

(17:30):
It's like picking up a pack of gum at Walgreens
after you buy a pregnancy test. You're like, I might
as well throw it in, you know, like I might
as well rape while I'm here, or at least tie
her up and assault her so she doesn't fucking or
kill her because these people that so many people get
killed because people are stealing catalytic converters and they'll shoots

(17:51):
and it's like identify that. Yeah, yeah, So um night
browl hot browlrowl um war with Taylor and her stories
of murder and inquest when we get back after the So,
I just my phone just accidentally typed to my assistant Mimi,

(18:13):
mom mow Minnie, and I was like, any mom, Mini,
I always want to send it. I didn't send it,
but it isn't it's like ready to go. All She
sees his bubbles, like what is this going to be
Nicky's mad at me about something, so he's just gonna
say me me mom, wo meet me. I liked your
accidental text to Chris yesterday when you were just confessing

(18:36):
all the dumb you were like messing the Speaker of
the House and I were both like just trying to
guess who the Secretary of Defenses were, and I was like,
I think it was Conda Liza for Obama, and then
it was Colin Powell for Bill Glynn. And then Chris
just was suddenly getting all of these from me because
I he contected me in the middle of it. And
then I wrote, oh, I'm sorry, babe, I'm just showing

(18:56):
me and on your trying to figure out how fucking
dumb we are. What we meant to send that to Anya.
We just realized we both don't know anything about the cover.
Your last text to him was about bailing on the gym.
Oh oh yeah. And then all of a sudden it
was a flurry of texts about Condo Lisa, right, oh yeah, yeah,

(19:17):
I go I almost I also might do the same
in bail on Jim Condi, Rice Clinton was pal Condo
Lisa's Obama. These are my guesses. Sorry, I meant to
send it to he goes chicks they love shopping and
boys more than knowing stuff, and so we always joke that,
like boys know everything about sports and girls don't know

(19:38):
nothing except about shopping. And so whenever there's like a
joke about like like so I get something sports wrong,
he's like, oh, you want to just go on blue
fly dot com because blue fly dot com was like
a cool shopping website in like two thousand eight when
he worked at MTV and all the ladies were on
blue fly dot com. None of us are like shopper girls, right,

(19:59):
we were all listing what makes us not women? The
other day on the girl's Chat. I shop a little
bit online, but blue I remember blue Fly? Do remember
there are some listeners who remember it. So I just
wrote to him blue fly dot gov and he was
like that really gotta laugh. And I was like, thank you,
I'm so proud of it. Oh my god. But shopper girl, yeah,

(20:23):
I mean, like, what fashion tailor's a fashionista? Faux show?
I have a question to make a dress out of
a sock? What? So since we do have a fashionista there,
and Nikki, you're you're always like in on these red
carpet things. I was wondering what you think of these
like animal head dresses from that Cheparelli or I thought they.

(20:45):
I think they're probably bad in the long run for
animal stuff, is my point. I think they're dumb fashion wise.
They just don't like who cares. It looks like you're
went to f ao swords and be headed a fucking
like you should look at these. Their tailor's looking at
me like, I don't know what you're talking about, because
literally too much of this pig stuffed animal and just
like put its head next to mine and it's so dumb. Um.

(21:06):
I think it's bad because any look at here she's
showing you any way where it looks like you're a
woman posing with an animal you just murdered on safari.
Making that look cool or normal is not good for animals.
No one can wear that. You're just knock into ship.
It's so dumb. It's just so dumb. Yeah, it's really Yeah,

(21:28):
it's but I just learned about Taylor today that she
uses socks for black socks for what you want to
I want to guess anyone want to guess arm warmers?
Good idea? That would be anything else not cover. It

(21:48):
could be cleaning. I don't know, like yes, kind of
you getting the more disgusting menstrual pad. Right, I'm agienic
and clean because if I forgot my Diva cup, then
I just get a block. So I used like colins
a lot. I'm like black sock a friend, No you

(22:13):
don't stuff at Oh no no, I like that makes
me like ry, like fuzzy, like a black sock that
almost looks great because it's like has been washed too
many times and you roll it upon itself up there. Oh,
God of my mouth, I take it. I hate it,
but apicially Taylor, Yeah you know thanks underwear? Ye? Yeah,

(22:39):
they're toxic. It is toxic. Why can't they just be
super absorbent? Why not just wear diaper? But they don't know. Well,
Diva cup, that thing got stuck up at me, so
I can't do that. Which one do you do use?
Is it the one that you have to like squeeze
to get out? Yeah? Yeah, mine is the the the
original Diva cup. Pintures. Do you pinch it like this

(23:00):
like with two pinkers? I guess I do. This is
your vagina big enough to fit that up there? Is
it like hanging out. No, it doesn't hang out the bottom.
Sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it goes far and it's hard
to get out. It was really hard for me to
get my own and up down. We used to have
a joke about that. That That was like they told me

(23:21):
to bear down. God, it sounds like winter is coming,
like bear around the hatchecker. Make sure to hunker and
rip the copy take with black sock, because just wash
it so like I just I just used the same
tell how used up it is? Sorry, no no, no,
I just use it and I go to the bathroom

(23:42):
and like what I do is I put in at
night because sometimes my cup overflow with But also, you know,
the better thing that I use, which is the most
clever thing I've ever done, is I like to wear
a lot of silk. And sometimes you get silk shirts
at that their store and they have the shoulder pads,
but sometimes they're caught inside and outside of the PADDI silk,
So then I have a delicate silky wife facks. Yeah,

(24:11):
give it to your wife life wife hack. Um, that's
a really good idea. I Um, I'm on the pill
right now because I'm maybe getting my eggs extracted pretty soon,
and um, I've I forgot to get comd in. Um,
I'm on, I haven't been on the pill for years,
and Chris always has. You know my partners sorry don't
mean just name names, but anyone who's you know, we're

(24:33):
doing the deed, they have to pull out. It's never
as fun, you know. And I just realized driving home today.
I just sent him a text and I was like, Babe,
I forgot. You have to like just get it. I
go up in my guts and then I started laughing
too hard because I said guts And I'm like, this
is gonna make him just so disgusted. He's gonna be
probably would not even want this conversation anyway, So changing topics,

(24:55):
but it does feel better to get it all up.
I mean, w do you use for birth control? I'm
going to guess before even ant and I guess like
this on the ground, I say, Taylor uses the rhythm method.
That's right, I'm right, what is the rhythm method? Does

(25:18):
that pull out? That? There's gloria. There's only certain days
you can get pregnant if you track your cycle really well.
So you track it really well? How do you track it?
You take your temperature and so you know, no, well
I just do like, I know how many days it
is for sure, and then there's only like a few
days you get pregnant. So I just put some buns
on the end of that and make sure my boyfriend
will not trust me to do that. Yeah, you don't

(25:40):
trust Yeah, he doesn't love it. But also I got
an old weed off the side of the road, and
I take that too. What I take Queen Anne's lace.
How did you find an old weed? I know about
that kind of shop, but you just saw it driving by.
You were like, oh, they're always looking for I knew.
I knew I needed Queen Anne's lace because it was
a gay wad. Like I was like, so I didn't

(26:03):
need a birth control for a long time. Wait, what's
a gay wash? She was? She was gay? Oh say,
it's just a fun way to say gayety. You were
gay for a little bit, so yeah you were. I'm
going I'm taking back the word gay wash. People. You
were gay for um and so when you were gay

(26:24):
for a bit, you didn't have to worry about it.
And now you were you just like driving you were
like pul Yeah, yeah, we were at the my mom's cabin.
What does it look like? It looks like, oh, you
see him everywhere. It looks like a little bird's nest.
When it's dried, it looks like a cup. And then
it has like seeds at the top, and when like
and then you take seven seeds. It really is like

(26:47):
plan B. I guess is it contraception or it'll stop
the like the sperm or the egg. I don't think
even if it's the Chris I was eating a pill
every single day. He would trust. He's just so scared
because he knows that if I got pregnant. What I
would do? What would you do? Take a drive? I'd

(27:10):
take a I'd make a call and I would get
my I would cross state lines and I would I mean,
look for Queen Anne's lace. I would help eighteen thousand
of those little seeds would be Taylor mc Yes, I
would just be My first would be yes, I did it.
My body can do it. I proved it. Look everyone.

(27:32):
I'd send it to all my friends. I'd be like,
I'm a fertile woman. And then I go beb and
then but you know, my boyfriend wants something to do
with an unpla. You know, like we would have to
have it, I think because he has a say in
it too, you know, it's his. I would at this
point with it, like I know that most women are like,
it's your body, but I'm like, no, he's my, but

(27:54):
you can't say is different. I think we would be
over if I was like, I'm not doing this because
he's like, he has no problem with choices that would
we make, but he wants nothing to do with having
one of his aborted, so do not. I think that's
how most men feel if you really ask them about it.
This is who are protis? And what's her name? On

(28:14):
Love is Wine? It kind of was, but it's I
I agree with it, like that's just his preference. He
doesn't want to have anything to do with that, and
I get that, and so we have to be careful,
but maybe not so much because my follicles are ship,
my body is dying. Things are shutting down matinee performance.
I don't know what the means get at last. I

(28:35):
guess it's early, but it's like thure like old people.
I think that's something he told you, like, well, we
got a Mattinee performance on our hands, and this is
a geriatric pregnancy and performance. I almost started crying on
the phone today because of the egg place, because I'm
just like, I called to get my meds for it
six thousand dollars for one session for for one cycle. No,

(28:58):
I'll make you some day med and then if I
have to do two cycles to even make it worth it.
And they really recommend for let me be honest, they
really recommend for six thousand dollars plus eight thousand or
six thousand per cycle, so it's about fifteen thousand dollars
per one. I thought it was going to be more
like rent for like housing your eggs, but that's like

(29:23):
three ars a year or something. It's not too bad.
I'm gonna calculate this. Wait, let me just give you.
I'll give you the what what we I just got
the things because I called them, and I go, will
you please? I almost start crying on the phone. I
was like, I just think I am pulling out of
this deal because I've already spent three thousand, and I'm like,

(29:43):
I'd rather lose three thousand than um go through with
the rest of the then lose, you know, forty thousand
or whatever the funk. It's going to be okay. Here
we go, here we go, Here we go, here we go.
So it's I got quoted sixty eight hundred dollars from
my meds today from all Greens, Which how do you
even pay for that? Do you walk in what with

(30:05):
like blocks of gold? I don't even have a credit
card that can run that much more like that's I
don't even understand. But I made on my house. Okay,
So that's that's what I would spend at Walgreens pharmacy
for just the pills. Not I mean, am I gonna
use my Walgreens points on that? Am I going to
get points? Because if I get points I might be

(30:25):
able to purchase that wall afterwards. Okay? And then for
one cycle thirty six thousand and eight five dollars. But
let's not forget also the lab work I had to
have done that isn't covered, which is another five hundred.
And then I think, yeah, and I already did the deposit.

(30:48):
Now that is what was the deposit. And then there
might also be additional let's do another eight hundred additional
meds that they might need to order. Um, they like
left gave the right to like, So what is it?
It says the p's the gas to get over to
that clinics wasting my staying home. What are the chances?

(31:11):
And then the chances are like, I don't do another
calculation to call me again because I go, I need
to know that the chances. But I think it's somewhere like,
you know, you get ten eggs. I've heard ten eggs,
two of them are going to be worth anything, and
then out of those two maybe one will be okay.
So it's like it's each time, but that's if you

(31:34):
get ten eggs, I might be getting four eggs per
seesh and then that maybe none of them work because
it's usually eggs, so maybe one of those eggs. Yeah,
we need to do math on this. It's not looking
good and then do per percentage chance how much if
it's covered none of it. It's such a bummer and
it's all and I just I'm like, can I see

(31:56):
what adoption costs are? Can we start looking at those costs?
Because I want to compare because not only what about
when I thought these suckers out, how much is that
going to be? Then to implant them? How much is
that going to be. I've got the money, but I'd
rather spend it on other ship yeah, especially if I mean,
what is the percent that you want to be pregnant
zero have a baby? Zero? Zero? You should keep doing it? No,

(32:20):
but I'm reading all these things and says that you
should do it. She regrets not freezing her eggs. Um,
everyone not freezing their eggs every like everyone talks about it. Yea,
even for regrets it a little bit, she said, a
little bit. I don't. But let me say to anyone
listening who's like overwhelmed by this and wants to have
a child, I don't know what I'm talking about, but

(32:41):
I will tell you this anecdotal story that my friend
was struggling with it. Read this book Taking Charge of
Your Fertility by Tony Weschler w E S H S
C H l e R. Taking Charge of Your Fertility
and got pregnant within two cycles. I when I wanted
to have kids, there was like a very brief period
of my life. I read this book. I immediately learned

(33:03):
a ton of ship about when I actually ovulate, which
is not when you think. And it's so it isn't easy,
depends on each person, on your temperature and the discharge
that's happening. But the book is so great, and you
wonder why did we never learn this ship. It's so
simple to learn when you ovulate. So read the book
if you want to save some money. I'm not saying
it will guarantee pregnancy, and it doesn't account for everybody's

(33:26):
issues with their own fertility, but it's a great tool
taking charge of your fertility. The calculator predicts, for example,
that the thirty five year old woman who freezes ten
mature eggs has a sixty nine percent chance of at
least one live birth. I'm told that I'm probably gonna
get four eggs per thing, so I have to do
three sessions to get that kind of odds. And my

(33:46):
eggs are not thirty five years old. And it takes
a big nose dup. It's saying thirty nine percent chance um,
and women younger than thirty eight when they freeze the eggs,
they the live birth rate was fifty one. I mean,
I don't I don't know. But if you, okay, so
what are the sister? Just give me some eggs. We
had the same parents. Isn't that the same? If you

(34:08):
what are the chances that you might want a child later?
That's no. I think it's it's only it's only zero
at this moment. If Chris and I don't work out,
or if Chris changes his mind, because right now he's
fine with like adopting, which I would be fine doing.
But if Chris and I don't work out, and I
meet someone who's like, I must have my own, this
is what I'm doing it for. Because they're they're most

(34:29):
men are like that. No, damn it no, because because
we don't want anyone, we don't want kids. He would
be Chris. I can't the man say it and put
That's what I was thinking today. If I met a
guy and he was desperate to have kids and I didn't,
I didn't have any eggs to give him, I'd say,
let's go pick out a girl. Put your and someone
I don't wear, we'll raise it together. Do you think so?

(34:51):
Do you think they get to think so they don't think?
You don't think he'd be like, I want your beautiful
about them food swings NIGGI and you're how cry when
you lose a piece of hair? And I want your
rocky smile and your bunyan's. I want my daughter to inherit.
Your lack of coordination with any kind of balls flying

(35:12):
at you. Um yeah, okay, maybe that's a good idea then,
because I don't care if he wants to have his
own kid like who put it in someone else? I
love to pick out a fucking gorgeous girl with really
like like hair that's just straight naturally. She doesn't have
to do no offense to curly her girls out there
because I pick of all the women you've ever met,

(35:33):
I would pick any of you, Honestly, I really would,
but you're all too old. So let me just Um,
I don't know any girls, Brenna, that's all I know.
I don't know boy, Yes, Louise, give me those I
would pay straight hair. His hair is straight, naturally straight. Doctor,

(35:59):
it was kind of way, but it's likely, but it's
like smooth wavy. Okay, it's settled, Okay, I would pick
any of those girls. Um. Those are the only people
under thirty that I know or everyone I met from
f boy, I just found out I'm going to be
on a reality show that people love a lot. I
can't say I've never seen it, but it's a very

(36:23):
very popular reality show that people are obsessed without never
Stationships loves Blizzard. I don't know. Does it rhyme with Baltimatum? No,
I've seen the boltimatum. I love Baltimatum. What if I
was going to be on Love is Blind Brazil? Don't
even I just it and I feel so like unsatisfied. Yeah,

(36:47):
I was like, why did I watch this? You're right like,
you lose you, you forget these people. Immediately I tried
to watch the new episodes, and I go I watched
four episodes of these people in one night, and I've
lost it all. I don't care about any of these people.
I don't even know who these people are. Also something
so understanding it. I'm generalizing, but they're so they get
left at the altar and they're like, I understand he
is having issues. It's okay. I forgive him. I wish

(37:09):
him well. I love him and he hurt me deeply,
but I wish him well. Right last night, um, okay,
So I was thinking today because we're a bunch of dummies,
and we proved how we were yesterday that we could
do like should we do the football thing real quick? Yes? Okay,
I want us to all four of us try to

(37:32):
explain the game of football. No basic, this is like
Survivor Okay, like we we all don't know how to
build a house, but together we might pull something together,
do you know what I mean? Based on all of
our knowledge. So let me just start and say that
their their touchdowns are what you want to get. Can

(37:54):
you start with a certain amount of yards? A hundred yards?
I don't know. No, it's not a hundre yards. How
many yards do we think it is? Two hundred and sixty?
It is no yard. No, it's definitely ten yards. Yeah,

(38:15):
we need to talk about the possession. So let's start
to the beginning. A team has possession of the ball.
Players are on the field from each team, Like, le,
I'm gonna say around like ten probably. I guess none
of us can say whether that's true or false. No,
I think people just have to listen to us, and

(38:36):
like there's tight ends, there's defense, there's you know, there's
defense offense. Okay, like we're not going to know each
of the things. They throw the ball back to someone.
That person then runs kind of back a little bit,
shout something, and then throws the ball. Then it is
either intercepted or it is complete. And it's complete if

(38:59):
they catch the ball. Now, if they are tackled. If
they all they have to do is hold onto the ball,
is my understanding. Like the ball can almost fall out
of their hand and then they can catch it again.
But as long as they like land with it. It
didn't touch the ground ever, or doesn't touch it, like
it can't touch the ground there holding and I think,
I don't know what if it bounces, can they catch

(39:23):
it and then still have it? I think then it's
like maybe in the other teams possession anyway, Okay, then
there are downs right there. This many downs before you
it turns over to the other team, is my understand
that makes sense. I don't know how many downs I'm
gonna say. I think there's first that means first and

(39:46):
ten yards first because you gain first and ten so
like you are first down and you have to get
ten yards before before it's within How many are there
before down? A certain amount of downs to get a
through recover yards? You know what he's thought of football
for this, because no matter how many times I learned it.

(40:08):
I've learned this so many times, I have begged to
learn it. I have committed it to memory. It will
go out of my brain the next day. It won't
stick that's how I am. I have crammed so much
information and social studies class into my brain and it's
like my brain just goes bit like it just gets
it out. How many points are? Touchdown? I thought it

(40:31):
was a showdown? Wait? What what could a showdown be?
You kind of touch that you never heard of? Touched
heart of it. But when we started talking about I
was like, okay, the points is called a showdown? And

(40:53):
then there a goalie in football? Okay, well what are
we all doing at super Bowl parties? Like? Are we
all doing? No one asks us anything like this? Boy what?
No one gives a ship if we know? Because clearly,
if you this is hilarious, ask women at a super
Bowl party what they know, because they will say, isn't

(41:13):
this the showdown? And you will have the biggest flash.
Make sure that person secure enough in their own interests
that they don't care that they don't know about football.
Don't just like mock women. But and then some women
will be like, I freaking love football because I grew
up with brothers. Again, I don't want to hear it
like me unless I like his hobbies. I'm just I'm
just jealous because you know about football You're probably just
a cool girl that just knows it naturally. I'm sorry

(41:34):
if you took offense to that. But ta, what is
the name of what's it like a slang name for
a football? Pigskin? Yes? I feel like pigs Yeah, pig
because it used to be made out of that. Um
A big what? What? Um? I love that we just

(41:55):
ask each other things that we know. What? Um? What
position does Tom Brady quarterback? Yes? Quarterback? Okay? What? Um?
How many times? What team does Tom Brady play for? Broncos?
I don't Pioneers, Pioneers, Buccaneers. Um, he pays for Tampa.

(42:22):
They might be the Buccaneers. But that was kind of
going to be a trick question because he used to
play for the Patriots famously. You don't know what Tom
Brady is married to Giselle? Okay, so I knew that
you love supermodels? Are you reading things? Can you quizz
I'm not okay, I'll quiz you. What what's the San

(42:43):
Francisco team called? Okay? Um? What's the Michigan team called Wolverines?
Notre Dame? I don't know, but the Lakes Lakers. I
just don't understand how people know, like first of all. Okay,
Philadelphia Eagles, good, Kansas City Chief, Green Bay Packers, New

(43:10):
York Giants good, great, Cincinnati Bengals. You're great, and you
know teams teams and play if they're famous. But I
don't know any things. Can't you follow the ball where
it's going. I wish we should have a man here

(43:32):
to like weigh in and tell us how and to
laugh at us, but I think people are probably just
doing that on their own at home. Um. Moving on
from football, let's talk about something we do know. Let's
do Reddit dump karaoke mode. This is your reddit dump.
Hoo hoo hoo. All right, Reddit dump. These are things
I find on Reddit that are interesting to me. I

(43:53):
like at it every night. It's my favorite part of
that day. Okay, this is a fun one. Okay, everyone listen. Eight.
This is from um white people Twitter. This is the
subreddit and it's from a tweet from I Hide from
my kids at I had from my kids. It says,
please settle a debate. How many Chuggars are there before
choo chow? So how many Chuggars? So just all of

(44:18):
us do it right now on our heads. Okay, okay, okay, one, two, three,
four eight chu chug chug chuggar chu chow. No, it's
just chugg chuggar chugar choo choo choo chow. Let me

(44:41):
just see what the most popular responses. Okay, let's look
depends on how steep the hill is. Okay, well, that's
not funny. I don't know where this came from. The
number of Chuggas rise in proportion to the distance of
the spoon of baby food to the station. A tired
parent is two chuggars. Arrested parent is four Chuggars. That's
funny as long as it's multiples of four. You're good, okay,

(45:05):
so I'm good. You're not like alright, chugga chug a
chug a chugar. Okay, Okay, here's um. This is a
fun one too. This is from Funny Memes Subreddit. It
says ketchup does not exist? What are you having with these?
And it's a basket of fries. If ketchup doesn't exist,
what are you having with just a good old basket

(45:25):
of French fries? I already know, I know. Okay, barbecue
sauce says what kind oh uh oh man, I forgot
the name of my favorite sweetearls something like that. Um, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I would agree because you want that sugary nous that

(45:48):
you're missing with the ketchup, So it's going to be
barbecue for me as well. What are you going to
say on you? If I could only pick one thing,
for sure, cholula? But if I can have to, it's
mayo and cholula, which I would make cholula? You would
rather if you could? Oh man, my mouth is watering

(46:08):
right now. But what would you make mustard? I don't.
I don't like catch up though, really I hate catchup disgusting, interesting,
or biting. Okay, um, let's see this for from Life
pro Tips. I liked this. It says life pro tip
how to have a great conversation with just about anyone.

(46:31):
You're at a social setting when where you don't know anyone,
You wish you were better at engaging people, or maybe
you envy a friend who sorry it just keep scrolling. Um,
who can strike up a conversation with a total stranger.
It's not a magical gift. It's carefully cultivated skill, and
it has one and only it has one and only
one principle. When meeting someone new, be more interested in
them than you are in yourself possible? That's that's it,

(46:55):
because most people who falter in conversation do so because
they're more interested in talking about themselves rather than the
person they're with. Okay, so here's an example question what
do you do for a living? In parentheses? A home
opening kind of question for sure, The answer is I'm
a dentist. Now, this is where people usually screw up
and ask the expected question of how long have you
been a dentist? Or where's your practice and the rest?

(47:15):
Instead asked this quick question, what do you find most
fulfilling about being a dentist? Another question, what did you
study in school? Or here's another boring question, what did
you study in school history? This is a follow up
that school. Tell me about what you enjoyed about history,
what excites you about that? And so on. I thought
this is interesting, and then someone commented, but how do

(47:37):
I do this without making it sound like I'm talking
taking an interview? Which is it does sound a little
bit like that. But I hate ask someone who gets
asked a lot what I'm doing in town? What are
you doing? You know? In Uber's it is I am
going to challenge myself to do this more when people,
wouldn't I go like what are you or your teacher?
Instead of just being like what's great do you teach?

(47:57):
Which is also a follow up, I'd be like what
I usually say what's your least favorite thing about doing it?
Or what's your most favorite thing about doing it? I
say what slang to the kids have these days? My favorite? Wait?
What do they have? Do you know? Any man? My
friend just told me for Christmas? But I can't it.
For like I would to bestow something that will get you,

(48:17):
I was you will get to sit at any cable
in the cafeteria at my local middle school if you
dropped this, Um, that's so jasper or whatever? Okay, Um? Yeah,
I just want I want people to have more interesting conversations.
That so helpful because I always get kind of frozen
in situations like this. I dread them a lot. But

(48:39):
I just remember when I was learning how to interview
people when I was a DJ, they were like, just
ask how, what, and where? Questions are like why, why?
And how? Questions? Why do you like that? What do
you like about it? You know? Well, it's so common
that you get asked a question, and even when I

(49:01):
have an interesting answer, what are you doing in town. Oh,
I'm a comedian. I thought about doing comedy a while, Like,
how are you already making this about yourself? Like I
just did Kelly Clarkson. Do you not want to hear
about that? By the way, Kelly Clarkson This week will
air on Thursday. Also, my UM episode of Bobby Flay
Beat Bobby Flay that I filmed last year, which is

(49:22):
so good and so I can't wait. It's so good,
That is also airing on Thursday. What was your least
favorite part of Bobby Flay. My least favorite part was that, um,
I didn't get to hang out with Bobby Flay enough,
because he's great and it was kind of just like, uh,
just in and out. And my least favorite part was
that I didn't know how much they wanted me to
roast him until I got there and realized like what

(49:42):
the game was really about, which is like really fun
with him. And I also didn't know him well enough
at the time to really have as much fun, but
I did almost immediately as soon as I got out
there and we had the little chat like it's on camera,
like you just talk a little bit, and I accused
him of like having me on the show to meet
his next life or whatever. As soon as we like
had that little bit of banter, it was just like

(50:04):
it was so fun. And then the best part of
the day was eating such delicious vegan cheesecakes sorry cheese
steaks close close enough, um. And the other best part was, like, no,
my favorite part of the whole thing is that one
point spoiler alert, they make a vegan cheesecake and this guy,
this New York. So they have on like chefs to

(50:26):
judge it. Cheese steak, so cheese sneaks, sandwich, so they
have on celebrity chefs to then judge the people that
are competing against Bobby to make the best vegan cheese steak.
And this New York guy who was like so new
I mean he's talking like this and he's like or
he's like Philly, you know, but no, he was actually

(50:47):
New York. He's very like, oh, what's this gonna be
fucking vegan? And then he ate it and he was like,
oh my god. He was like I don't even know
the difference. He loved it so much, and I was like, vegan,
this guy I was so gonna be so too good
for skol and he did. He admitted, when a person
who doesn't like vegan food can admit vegan food is good,

(51:08):
good on you. I know when the good thing you
can do. I heard recently someone say we have to
label things. We can't label things vegan because then people
won't eat them. Okay, okay, oh my god, you fucking loser, redneck,
just try it. It doesn't mean it's not good. If

(51:29):
that isn't harmon animal, I don't won't put that in
my body. Sorry, I put an accent on that. And rednecks.
I know that that is maybe a derogatory term to
some of you, But come on, who's yours? Gate Watts,
Please don't cancel me. I was just doing. I am dripped. Okay, um, okay,
I wanted to get this one. This will be fascinating.

(51:51):
Let's go to break and come back with one that
I think is going to divide the road. All right,
we're back. We're doing reddit dump. This is from the
reddit subreddit True off my chest. There's just people being like,
I gotta tell someone my terminally ill ex husband asked
to see me one last time, but my current husband
said he'd divorced me if I do it. My ex

(52:13):
husband and I got divorced three years ago. We didn't
have kids, although we wanted them so badly. We knew
each other for over ten years and we had been
through so much together. He helped me out out when
my family abandoned me and quit his job to move
with me. He even helped me get my degree. Adah blah, Okay,
he's very sick right now, and he has asked to
see me, probably for the last time. My current husband
got extremely upset with me when I mentioned it to him,

(52:34):
and threatened to divorce me if I go. I'm five
months pregnant and feel like I'm seeing a side of
my now husband that I've never seen before. He called
this inappropriate and my ex was and said that my
ex was being manipulative. He told me he'd divorced me
if I see him, But this could be my last
chance to say goodbye to him. I can't even imagine
how terrible I'd feel if he passes away without seeing
him for the last time. But there's a lot at
stake here, and I don't want to sneak behind my

(52:55):
husband's back. What should she and how would you feel
if you were her husband? Anya? I mean I'm torn
because my first instinct was that sucks, like he she
should be able to go see her, acts like he's dead.

(53:17):
He's dead in a second anyway. But then my next
thought was like, oh wait, I didn't read this part.
I should have glossed over. He even helped me get
my degree, and I never wanted us to divorce, but
he was the one who to initiate it because he
was secretly diagnosed with a medical condition and said he
didn't want to ruin what we had and become a burden. Okay,
this could be fake because it's your current marriage is

(53:40):
definitely in trouble. Because if your current husband is that
threatened by this, there's a problem and threatening divorce when
you're five months pregnant. That's sad. So I don't think
this marriage is gonna last. So yeah, that's the bad news.
Just go see him and burn it to the ground,

(54:00):
right kind of. I mean, it doesn't really matter because
like if you were to someone whose wife was dying
ex wife was dying, yeah, I'd be like, we see her.
I'm like, she's going to be dead. The whole concept

(54:21):
of not letting your partner love their ex is insane,
Like Pat Allen's like, if you expect the person that
you're with to hate the person they used to love,
you're mentally ill. Yes, you are, you are. It's it's
a really good point. And also you're on the you're on,
you're in line to be that person they hate. You're

(54:43):
the difference between you and them is just a day
in their life because they used to love that person,
and so that is a mentally ill thing. And I
don't think that's going so far as to say that,
because that is truly a sign um. I think also,
if you know, I've said this before, if you expect
your husband to only be attracted to you also a

(55:03):
little not mentally ill, delusional because they just can't. Then
if they're not attracted to other women, they're not attracted
to you. Human nature, and you should get someone's denying
scanned for colon cancer, like his body is being ravaged
by cancer at that point, if he has no libido, like, well,

(55:24):
something is eating it and something inside him, he's depressed
he has if he can't get it up for any
other woman, he can't get it up for you. He's
probably popping viagra and there's something wrong with him. You
should hope that he's attracted other women. So this person said,
don't sneak behind his back. You're going to set a
precedent here. Either the precedent is that he gets to
decide who you are allowed to talk to, or that

(55:45):
he does not get to decide who you are allowed
to talk to. I know what precedent I would want
to set. I thought that was good advice. Okay, um,
this is another one. This is from me I R. L.
It says, which are you? And there's a person been
opening a yogurt Okay, one of the there isn't an

(56:05):
option for someone who doesn't want to eat the yogurt. Yogurt,
but you gotta open it right Okay. They open the
lid and there's like a little bit of stuff at
the top on the lid. Wait, how are you getting
yogurt open without the stuff in the lid? And talk
about licking it? Okay? Like yes, so like a tinfoil

(56:27):
tinfoil it and it's about fourth a fourth covered with yogurt, Okay,
just at the top, you know, like a light smattering up.
But it's a fourth, it's not the whole thing. You're
not missing out like a spoonful you're missing like maybe
it's a quarter of yogurt, right, it's like this is
it's molden. No, forces it's yes, not like been opened
and it's not like fruit on the bottom. It's like
all one consistent. Okay, So it would be it would

(56:50):
be a good lick, is my point, Like there would
be something to be had from. So do you toss it?
Do you toss it? Do you take your spoon and
like like scrape it off. Do you then paw it
onto the yogurt cup and like kind of scrape the

(57:10):
side so that its then scrapes off from the top
into the cup? Do you know what I'm saying? Or
do you straight up lick it? I toss? You toss wasted?
Oh my god, I bet you're also someone if like
something falls off your plate at a restaurant you like
won't eat it. No, I will eat that. Well, I

(57:33):
don't toss it out of Oh this is it's really good,
you're really I've watched to eat before. No, No, it
will just like eat what she wants to eat and
like doesn't need to eat any more than that, even
if it's so delicious, Like anyone that can just like
leave behind food that is delicious that they just that
they just scarfed. But then they get to a point

(57:55):
where it's just I'm if there's any power I could
have of any of my friends talents, it would be
I have a couple of friends that can just let
food sit on their plate, even if it's just a
perfect bite of what they were just enjoying two seconds ago.
Before we get your yogurt, okay, before me fall with

(58:15):
this yogurt thing, what goes through your mind? You like
you have one, like do you just feel full? Like?
What is the signal that your brain gets that goes
I don't need to keep tasting this, okay, So I
don't think I smoked weed really when we became friends.
But when I used to smoke weed, I would just
inhale everything, okay, But then it just gets to a

(58:37):
point where I can feel full and I just can't
eat anymore. So you're already feeling to the point when
you because it seems like for me, I can only
feel like a full when I've eaten one and a
half servings of what I should have, Like it gets
so there wouldn't even be enough food on my plate
to reach that point of like, I'm so full I

(58:57):
can't even look at food anymore. But you're feeling that
way before every meal I've every in with you, you
always leave some and it's I've only noticed it because
I envy it so much, and it's the appropriate thing.
Americans are being fed way too much. You should always
be able to leave stuff behind, literally always, unless you're
ordering like a kid's meal. But even then I think
they overserve them. So but you do you anticipate that

(59:20):
feeling coming up soon? Or will you actually start to
feel full like during a normal movie. It just gets
to a point where my pants feel like they're going
to burst. So whatever that is, that is when I
have to stop. That's when that's when I start like
scooping the food, Like when it's like before before I
start wanting to vomit, I need to get it on

(59:41):
your pants. I try to do it fast, yes, yes,
before my body has time to go bitch. This is
a mistake. Yeah, okay, So what are which one? Are
you with the yogurt lid on you? It depends if
are we throwing the lid away? Is this a group yogurt?
Is you know it's a group yogurt. What are you

(01:00:02):
talking about? Grogert? Who is it? I was thinking of
hummus because yogurt. Okay, no, this is a yogurt. Hmas
sing no mold on it. It is no fruit on
the bottom. Like, it's not a party yogurt. It is
not a yogurt you bring to the super Bowl game.

(01:00:24):
It's singles yogurt. It's a corn when you put in
a corny copia, okay, yogurt. I would lick it unless
there are people around. Then I might take this spoon
I don't know and put it. Why no, lit, Why
can't you see lick because you're worried it would cut
paper cut? That is this to lick a lid, I'm

(01:00:49):
slicing taste and I would use a fork to scrape
it a hard noon because I have a spoon phobia. Okay,
I just told you. That happens all good time with Taylor.
All the time. It's like I will say something and
be like, wait, why can't you use the spoons? She'll
be like, because I have a spoon, because I have

(01:01:10):
literally she Okay, you know this is the difference. You
were not okay with your phobias back then. Your friends
now know about phobias because it's just like who you
are and you've accepted yourself. But I think in high
school you were hiding it, just like Holly used to
hide peeing her pants. Yeah, you would have come after
me with a spoon when you're mad at me? So
yeah I would. We would have because I came after

(01:01:32):
you with the sock. Final thought, yes, um, so can
we listen to your phobias if you don't mind. I
think people would relate spoons, spit strands, uh, liquid swipes
when you were gay one, would you ever get like
if you made your girlfriend to wet and get those strands?

(01:01:53):
Would you just be like yes? Because the fingerprints has
something to do with it. I don't like the fingerprint
ridge is on smooth things, leaving lines like when okay,
if you get sauce and then you wipe it with
your finger, I would Oh my god, you must like
fucking hate my kitchen. I don't look when people eat
a lot when people eat, because if you drop it

(01:02:14):
off the set and if you like use I can't
use the same focus someone because they put their lips
on it and got because of spicers. But then how
is making out going for you. That's okay because it's
not like that. There's no there's no smooth surface involved
in that. It's that's the mixture of the texture. And
then okay, okay, I listen, I've heard weirder things, and
I have my own weird things, so this isn't that bad. Um,

(01:02:38):
any others that you'd like to share. I can't even
think anymore. Tampons, pads like I don't like some I
don't like. I look away, Like when I'm getting my
nails done and they pull from a cotton thing and
they have to pull it out, I look away and no, no, no, no,
no no, I do that. UM. Trying to think there
was one recently where I was just like, oh, I

(01:02:59):
don't need to let you're also like just like holding
like any kind of like when like the fuzz on
my jeans right now when I bend my knee, like
I could see it in like the silhouette, that fuzz.
If anyone's ever like picking up the fuzz on there,
not that one is that's a very bad one for me. Um.

(01:03:21):
And then oh, if people have skin on their fucking nails,
like hang nails and they don't want to bite it off.
It's just loose and if I can buy it for
I literally would buy a Strangers on a plane. I
wanted to get some mini scissors. Yes, yes, yes, yes, okay,
um yeah, that's I think. I'm all caught up on

(01:03:42):
my Wait do you have a one of Do you
have a Reddit video? Yes? So a couple of weeks ago,
we all discovered that we wanted to be marine biologists
when we were kids kids, did you, Taylor? Basically, yeah,
I wanted to like X blow the sea and know
all its depth. That's kind of same right now. I

(01:04:04):
just wanted to play with Wales. You wanted to like
see those seas like I wanted to go in the bathosphere,
which is a thing that goes really deep to the
bottom of the Marian and see like the Have you
been to the Quarium St. Louisiatte? No, Oh my god,
I've got to go. Okay, So why do we all
want to be marine biologists? So besties have alerted us
there's a meme going around on Instagram that explains why.

(01:04:27):
So basically the question is why did kids born in
the eighties all believe marine biologists was the ultimate career?
And someone answered this is why, and it's basically Frank
Lisa Frank, but with a motorcycling child. That no, that's
someone that like, that's the meme they made, and so
they have a little meme stamp. But the rest of
it is just like yeah, all like marine Lisa Frank. God,

(01:04:50):
she was like mushroom trips before mushroom trips. Like that
really sees my soul to see that, like it really
does something for me. Like those those fold hers with
her on it, like, oh god, when you got a
new folder was the best day of our whole and
it was right before school was beginning, so it was
also coinciding with the worst thing, all those glossy folders. Um.

(01:05:12):
I went to the aquarium here in St. Louis, which
is fucking awesome, only for the fact that it's kind
of like if you have small kids, definitely go because
it's like good for them, But if you were just
someone that's like into marine biology like and want to
see stuff, it's not that great. No offense St. Louis,
but like it's for kids, but there, it's really cool.
There's this interactive they go like you're walking into the
place and I'm there with Poppy and Arlow and they're like,

(01:05:35):
the train will be here and just a second take
you to the quarium. And I'm like, I know where
we are. We're at Union Station, which is an old
train place, but there's no train, like but I thought
it would maybe be like a tram or something. So
you wait and then you walk into a room that's
like a trolley car, and then on the screen they
take you on a ride through St. Louis and then
you go underground and underwater and John Goodman is uh

(01:05:57):
the voice over, and he's great. He's like all the
poor and look at St. Louis the arches over there.
It's really cool. That is the coolest thing you see.
And it's all, you know, just screen that train. But
then yeah, Taylor was chug a chugger ahead. And then
the coolest part of this whole thing was we were,
you know, touching all these fish and we even went

(01:06:19):
to this fish that like swarm your hand and they
eat off the dead skin just like so it was
so kind of creepy it almost they looked like cockroaches
at one point. So then there was like this you know,
little theater kind of things set up with benches in front,
and there's this otter that's like cartoon otter on the
screen that's like kind of sleeping, and there's a sign

(01:06:39):
that said that the show starts in two minutes, and
so you shaw countdown and I go, oh, this will
be fun, and I go, Poppy Arlo, let's go over
here and wait for the show to begin. So we're
sitting there and I'm like, what do you think that is?
What do you think that guy is? And they were like,
I didn't say anything, you know, because their kids, And
I was just like, I think it's probably it looks
like is that like to moan from the Lion King?
It looks like the same animal because I couldn't tell
it was an otter at first. It was very because

(01:07:01):
it's like sleeping. And then this otter wakes up and
starts the show and he's like, I just want to
say before you again, I am not to moan from
the Lion King. Why am I see honor? I'm a
river like he because he can hear everything. And they
to us and he's moving and as he's moving, he's
talking to us and making comments and he's like and

(01:07:21):
mom right there with their two kids, how's it going
for you today at the ground. I'm like, I'm there, aunt.
He was like, well and okay. Like I was like,
and I'm freezing my eggs, but not even do it.
I think I just saw salmon spawn and they like
a thousand and four dollars. Robbie the river hotter, shut

(01:07:43):
your fucking mouth. And he's robbing the stations. I would
love if he just overheard me, like plotting a murder.
You know it's listening right now. We're just what we were,
just sitting in this dork room with bunches. I could
have said anything I thought. He witnesses so many creepy
things being said to kids by like uncle. It would
be a good you're not my dad though, daddy's brother's lap. Okay, guys,

(01:08:12):
we gotta go. Thanks for listening to the show. Taylor.
Thank you so much for being thank you for having me.
I love you every time. Thanks, Annya, thank you so much, Noah,
thank you so much, listeners, Thank you so much, besties.
I love you. This week, um, check me out on
Kelly clarkson Thursday and beat Bobby play on Thursday, and
then you can see me in New Haven on Friday
and New York on Saturday at the weekend, so come
to those shows. Take it still available. You can see

(01:08:34):
on you there too. It'll be so fun. Can't wait
and you're off Uncle. I've been trying

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