#320 Hit A Nerve

Nikki is evaluating what dictates her happiness. It definitely wasn't the overly excited barista or a chipper air line attendant. She sprinkles her strong opinions through the episode. Also, you might want to know that Nikki is at the level of fame where she has to wipe down the machine at the gym. Anya shows off her new tooth and describes what it was like getting her teeth shaven. Nikki talks about taking the stage with John Mayer over the weekend and what she is learning about the 'flow state' from the book The Art of Impossible. They listen to some Fanthrax where Besties ask Nikki for her strong opinions on TLC's Shauna Rae and for advice on handling a family affair at a wedding.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Nicky Glazer Podcast. Here's Nicky. Hello here I am.
It's a Nicki Glazer podcast. Welcome to the show. I'm
in Los Angeles. Still, Noah is here. Anya's here. Welcome guys.

(00:20):
How are you this morning? Is it morning where you are?
Kind of maybe now it's for me? It is, yeah,
it's morning for us. Yeah. Um, top of the morning
to you. My boyfriend is still asleep in the other room. Um.
I went in turned on his uh white noise machine
and I was like, you need to crank it up

(00:41):
boo boo because it's just like like it's not loud enough.
And I'm like, I want to talk about you, bitch.
Crank that bitch now. Um, he's a snuggle buggle in
the next room, and um, he had a late night
last night, so he's sleeping in a little bit today.
And um, what's it like? Oh done, yes, yes, yes,

(01:07):
you both sad? Cohabitation too instead of living together? Honestly,
what is this podcast? Um? Okay, welcome back to NPR.
This is terry gross. Um so cohabitation it's I mean,
it's we've done it before. We did it for many years,
and um, I feel like we've probably lived together, um

(01:29):
for like two years out of the ten that we've
been off and on, So it's it's the same. It's
always great. It's we get along really good living together.
There's never been it's better than not living together for us.
Always more conflict arises when we don't see each other
and we're not living together, but when we're living together,
we're just Maybe it's um like the whole theory of

(01:51):
you have to make it work, like you know, how
like people go when you get married, you just you
get into a fight. It fights don't escalate to insanity
as much because you both know that this you're going
to have to make it work because you're married. And
I feel like we both know there's no other place
for us to go unless we get a hotel. So
maybe that's maybe it just makes us feel secure, I guess,

(02:14):
And in a relationship. I feel like like it's just
so obvious when I'm secure in my relationship. To me,
it's like, you know, when I realized that my happiness
and my mood and so much of my life unfortunately
is dictated by the security I feel with my partner.
Now when I'm single, I don't know what dictates my happiness,

(02:35):
honestly not sure, like if Starbucks filled my cup all
the way to the top, if they're accepting mobile orders today,
so beautiful metaphorically and literally. It's I really don't know
what I don't remember, but I know that when I'm
in a relationship, instability in my relationship equals instability and
the rest of my life. And that is called codependency.

(03:00):
It is also but my old therapist used to say codependency.
There's this whole realm of therapists who think codependency is
the worst thing. We need other people, we need to
depend on people. We don't need that other people to
dictate how we feel. But like there is there is
always such a negative connotation with codependency, and I think

(03:21):
that there is something to be said for like, well,
there's benefits of it too, and there is a reason
why we partner up as humans, and and why being
single and living alone isn't ideal and why you know,
there's so much loneliness going on with older people, like
I get my heart has been breaking recently for old

(03:41):
people like living alone. Like I read some stat about
like how many elderly people have no one and this
die alone, don't not even in a nursing home. Just
die like no one is left. And it makes me
so fucking sad. I can't even handle it. And so yeah,
I mean we need but it's it really bothers me.

(04:02):
I guess it doesn't bother me. It just, um it's
nice to It's nice to be able to recognize when
I'm feeling depressed in the world sucks and I am
just in general, um so negative about everything. It's usually
because my boyfriend and I are like not feeling secure.

(04:24):
There's like we're having a lack of communication or something.
But that's both sad and nice to know. But what
the fuck, man, I don't want I don't want that.
I don't want my happiness to be dependent on it.
I mean, hasn't be dependent on something. People go, you're happy,
you shouldn't be dependent on your job or like your
successes at work or you know, your home life. But

(04:45):
it's like, then, what the fuck else is it supposed
to be dependent on your inner spirit and how much
you like yourself? Like who has that besides and Oprah, Yeah,
yeah exactly. So I gotta get a job working at Starbucks. Oh,
you would probably love it. I kind of would, except
today at Starbucks. The woman was so chipper it fucking annoyed.

(05:06):
I'm not kidding you. I should have recorded it. Well,
I can't do an impression right now because I would
wait Chris up. But it was so loud and she
was just like, hey, thanks for coming. Oh no, you
did it like screaming, and I was looking around like
is anyone else gonna clock this? And like I do
want people to enjoy their jobs, but I felt so
I've never felt worse for Starbuck work, Sparbabucks workers than

(05:29):
them working with this overly cheery one. It's ironic light
attendant like that the other day and I think I
sent you were recording she was screaming on the flight
and like at such a high pitch and doing a
trivia game. But it was terrifying because she was screaming
and all of us are just like you're taking us
a hostage. It was a Southwest flight. Let me just say,
why them stopp hang out because my dad always says

(05:52):
I love Southwest. You know when Johm interviews, they ask
if Southwest job interview. Every single interview, they asked, tell
me a joke, and if you can't, they don't really,
they don't get the job. And I go, well, if
you asked me to tell you a joke, I wouldn't
tell I wouldn't have one on hand. I have one
now because I just read this book and there was
a great joke. Now when people go, tell me a
good joke, like, I'm not someone who just like carries
jokes in their pocket like well too, gays walk into

(06:14):
a bar like, I don't memorize those jokes. I like
people that do. It's a skill that people have as
a comedian. I do not have that skill. But what
I do, like that I just read was a cop
pulls over car and there's three priests inside, and the
cop goes, we're looking for three pedophiles, and they go,
we'll do it to dad. We all know why I

(06:40):
like that joke. I'll screenshot it for you because it
was in a David Sideris book. I don't think it
wasn't It wasn't his joke. He just had a joke
in a book. But it's you know, for many reasons,
that's my favorite joke. But yeah, Southwest. The other day,
I was on a flight and their little chip or
cheery attitude, which is some people love it, and it's
so sweet when someone's stupid enough to get a kick
out of that, When your life is that simple that

(07:00):
a flight attendant making a joke like is enough to
make you laugh out loud, Like I look at you,
and I go, how dumb? How easy is your life
that this is giving you joy. I envy people that
just get kicks out of dumb shit, you know, like
those people in my audience. I mean, I don't think

(07:20):
they'd even like me, because it would beat It wouldn't
be easy enough to get like. I don't not that
I'm like super intellectual humor by any Yeah, they just
need like they just go whole and they're looking at
each other like, oh, the people who clap when you land,
you know, that's that whole thing, which I don't really
actually hate that. I think clapping when you're landing isn't
that bad. It's like kind of cute. People hate clappers

(07:43):
when they land. But the other day I was texting
with Chris because there was or maybe it was texting
with you, I get you guys confused, But I was saying, like, emotionally,
I get you guys confused. Text share the same kind
of things. Yeah, it's the it's the pictures I send
you guys. Um, although you like it from behind, that's

(08:03):
the difference. Oh that's a cool sound. How do you
do it? Yean Um, Chris saw her last night. Uh yeah,
the hip dance where his strings on his hips and

(08:24):
cuts one and his hip falls, it's the best. Um.
So I was telling someone that I was on this
flight and oh yeah, I was on the way out here,
and there was this girl that was so loud and
just being so obnoxious, and like it was the kind
of person where if you were to tell them, hey,
there are people, like, there's people on this flight. Like
she was having a conversation with her friend next to her,

(08:46):
and they're like laughing because she's one of these people
that's just so loud and has to have every thought
that comes in her head set out loud and she
can't speak. She's talking to her friend. She's like, I
told them that if we are delayed, I'm not sleeping
in this airport. I am not sleeping to this airport.
You all should be happy right now we're about to
take off, Like and it was so obnoxious, but you

(09:08):
knew she's the kind of girl that if you were like,
excuse me, you're being rude, she'd be like, what did
you say? Are you a racist? Fucking bit? Like it
was gonna go to that, Like I just knew it.
So I just unbridled self expression. Really, yeah, is that
like a real thing. Yeah, it's she was Chinese by
the way. If you guys were thinking she was black, um, no,

(09:30):
she was unbridled self expression us. Yeah. So it's basically
like when you just say everything that's on your mind,
just like dump it. My therapist calls it shooting from
the hip. Okay, you know what. I was furious as
this girl at the time, and also the Southwest flight

(09:50):
attendant who was making jokes wasn't helping because they were
setting her up to be jokey and loud, so people
were laughing. So then she wants attention, so now it's
getting so I'm like, this is encouraging this bad behavior.
But then I was like and I hated this girl.
I was like seething. I was literally hoping my plane
would crash so that she would be eliminated from the
arm I was like having those kinds of thoughts. I
have those on planes all the time, where I look

(10:12):
around and I go, I will take the sacrifice because
these people are fucking awful. Like it's usually on a
Southwest flight too. Oh, you know what the problem was.
It was a Southwest flight at fucking four pm direct
from Saint Louis to Las Vegas, Nevada. That is your problem.
You're getting on a flight to Las Vegas direct from
anywhere on a Friday, and you are going to have rowdy,

(10:35):
drunk idiots. It was like a booze cruise. So girl. Yeah,
but this girl was not drunk. She was just loud
and you can tell. And I just go, you know what,
And I look around there's people trying to sleep. This
girl is like so disruptive, and I go, NICKI, she
probably grew up in a home where she never got

(10:55):
any people. When she was trying to nap as a
little girl. Her parents were probably screaming at each other,
had the TV loud, listening to music. She probably never
learned this poor little child. I tried to shrink her
down to a child and picture where she learned this
behavior where no one else's feelings matter or ear drums.

(11:15):
And I realized this person was probably you know, emotionally
abused as a child, and she didn't learn and to
have empathy that this and most of the time rude
asked people that have note like people on their speaker
phones having full conversations. People who were blasting music in
hotel rooms or apartments are just being loud. They're either

(11:37):
drunk because you have lack of self awareness when you're drunk,
or they just grew up. Just imagine how they grew
up where they learned this. They probably have fucking parents.
Their parents have the worst fucking parents. What do you say?
I wish I had had that kind of compassion. The
other day on the Southwest flight, I was so upset.
I was thinking, like, how can I complain about this?

(12:00):
I'm like, don't be a Karen, just let it go.
But it was. It was terrifying, and I could tell
a lot of passengers were annoyed. They were trying. That's
where you look around and you kind of just go
what the fuck? And that's where when it's the flight attendant,
I get mouthy and I go okay, we get it,
and I go ugh, I do a opian anthony, which

(12:21):
I used to pull from as they should, as they
shout should oh my god, I like, as they should
is sweeping the names to that girl's boyfriend. Oh, just
an ugh, Like, there's nothing more that I want to
avoid in life than someone looking at me and going like,
just isn't that the worst insults? It's slight. Also, a

(12:44):
shush works too, like a s like they don't know
where it's coming from. We're all kind of subconsciously programmed
to shut the fuck up when we hear a sum
that works. But I love an ugh and I have
gotten I mean, I'm getting to the point where I'm
getting too famous to be this person in public anymore,
where I call out rude behavior and like and the

(13:05):
one that gets a bit a bit loud about like
no one cares, sir, Like I'll shout that, like if
a guy of three rows back is like talking really loud,
or like I'll go ka the other day I said
so loud to someone, which they didn't even know what
that meant, hasn't hasn't implied, Yeah, it's in it, it's yes.

(13:27):
And so that's I think, why could work so well?
But it is good to the point where I'm i
and I know that people roll their eyes when I
say I'm famous or whatever, because I would too. But
it's just a thing, like the it's growing, like even
I just had a voice lesson right before this, and
my voice teacher has no concept of who I am,
which is fine, Like I wouldn't expect him too. He's
sixty five year old, you know, guy who lives in Ballwin, Missouri,

(13:51):
and um opera like opera singer and he uh, he
was like over the weekend. You know, I sang with
Michael McDonald and he grew up with Michael McDonald and
had told me about you know, his days back in
the days, like me and Michael being in bands or whatever.
And so when I met Michael McDonald this weekend, yeah,
if you don't know who he is, he's in the
Doobie Brothers and he's also the guy that sings like

(14:13):
this and taken it to the streets and he um.
I like went up to Michael and was like I
studied with Michael Rochio, who you grew up with, And
he was like, oh yeah, guy from back in the day.
Like I mean he's sixty and they knew each other
when they were twenties, so he was kind of like
I think, but I told my voice teacher and send

(14:34):
him all these pictures and he's like, what is happening,
Like what is this? Like you're performing with John Mayer
and the Ario Speedwagon. Like he was blown away, but
I said him pictures and he was like, I posted
those pictures on Facebook because he wanted to brag about
his student, like getting to do this thing, even though
it was like I was a comedian not a singer
in it. And he said to me, Nikki today, he

(14:56):
was like, I posted that on Facebook. I I had
no idea how well known you are. I had no clue,
and I go, I know, it surprises me as well
sometimes like it's it's been, it's growing, it's growing a
lot recently. And it was just so cute that he
was just like people were freaking out and it was

(15:17):
just really cute. But even yesterday, I mean, I've been
doing this for probably ten years now, but when I
walk on Sunset Boulevard and there is a celebrity sightseeing van,
you know, there's these tmz ones, There's tons of them,
and they are constantly roaming Sunset Boulevard just pointing out
that's where whoever died and that's the Viper room, and

(15:40):
like they're just going and maybe they'll see a celebrity,
and I always because I know. I once was a
young girl in LA who went on a celebrity tour
and I would have killed to see a celebrity walking
down the sidewalk. But you don't know because everyone looks
normal and you don't know who is who unless you
were very savvy. So I always used to say, I'm
I'm a comedian, I'm I'm friends with Amy Schumer, like

(16:02):
that was my joke back in the day. I would
film myself saying it when when I was someone who
was not recognizable. But yesterday I was filming a show
and I was like waiting to walk into this business
and I was waiting on the sidewalk and people were
filming outside the business because they like love this business
because of the show or whatever, and they're paparazzi out there.

(16:23):
Then there's like a van of people that came through
and they're kind of staring at me, and I'm waving
at them because I'm just waiting for my I'm like,
we're waiting for i don't know, sound or something lighting inside.
So I'm waving to this van of people and then
they start kind of like waving back and I'm like,
I'm Nicki Glazer, I have a comedian. I'm screaming across
traffic and the guy that's like the crew guy that's
holding me is like, you like thinking, I go, I

(16:45):
do that because not because I want attention, but because
I feel like I want to give them a gift
of like seeing a live animal on a safari, Like
I want to be the cheetah that's like comes up
and like pause at the window. Not for myself, like really,
I promise, like maybe it's ten percent for myself, but
I don't even think it's that. Like I really do
it because I know what it means to be a

(17:06):
celebrity fanatic and to see someone that you go, Okay,
she's not like, we're not seeing Brad Pitt, but we're
seeing someone who we can look at her IMDb and
she's like people get excited about famous people. But that
leads me to saying, oh, oh, I'm the level of
famous now where at the gym I have to wipe
down my equipment. Afterwards, I realized that because people want

(17:27):
to stattle the sweat or something, oh oh that's so funny. No,
because they'll think I'm they might go one person sees
Nikki Glazer not wipe down her machine. And I know
the way people talk about celebrities on read it and stuff,
and how much people who love celebrities actually hate them
and are looking for any reason to like write you
off as a bad person, right, and a story like that,
if one person saw me not wipe down machine, I

(17:50):
am entitled and gross. And but the truth is, and
so I wipe own machine now, not because I care
about the person after me, but because I don't want
to be besmirched in the public eye by one person
who might see me. Because the other day at my
gym in my building, I could tell these girls were
like I can tell when people recognize me and they

(18:11):
kind of look at they look at me a little long,
and then I look back at them always and they're
always on their phone googling and I and I've caught
I mean, I'm not kidding you, dozens of Uber drivers.
I've caught them kind of like rear view mirror eye contact.
And then I see them on their phone Google Google
comedie like, or they'll google Nikki fame and I'll see

(18:32):
I'll see my fucking net Worth pop up or whatever
the fuck they're googling. Um, They're like, she better give
me a tip. But um, but I see it a lot,
so I just know the I kind of know the
and I's been friends with famous people so long, Like
I remember being friends with Amy and just seeing people
see her and then tell their friends and then like
look back, Like I know, I know the steps of recognition.

(18:56):
But I want to just say, you shouldn't wipe down
your machine. If you care about germs so much, wipe
it down before you work out. I think the new rule, Chris,
that's perfect that you've emerged for this new rule. You
wipe down a machine before you use it the person.
You don't wipe it after because the only I don't

(19:18):
care about a sweaty machine, I don't care if someone's
If it is covered and discussed, I will wipe it down.
But if it is, this is a perfect system because
people who actually care about germs are gonna wipe it
down anyway. They're not gonna trust it was wipe down
before them people that really care, so they're wiping it
down twice. So just stop wiping it down if you're

(19:38):
because the people who actually care already do it anyway.
What do you think. I completely agree. I need to
remember to wipe it down before because it's like I
care for myself and I care for others. If you're
my mom, by the way, only washed us our hands
before she peas, and I always thought that was gross,
and then I was like, she kind of has a point.

(19:59):
It's not like when I'm peeing, I'm fingering myself. I
don't even touch myself, and pea is like clean. Actually,
people like drink their peace, So if I get pee
on my head, I honestly don't care. It's not like
I'm gonna go like I like touch a baby's mouth
or something like I usually like even if it's a
little like this, this is grossing everyone out. Let's take
a break and come back and like three group because
I really hate to think about what I'm about to

(20:20):
admit here. Okay, we'll be right back after this. All right,
we're back. Um, Yeah, hand washing. I do it most
of the time, Like, but interesting your mom does it
before she goes to the bathroom because I guess I
don't know why. I don't know. I take it back

(20:41):
now because I'm like, yeah, if you touched yourself, maybe
because she touches the toilet paper, and then she thinks
the dirt will go on the toilet paper into her vagina.
Do you know that her phones are like worse than
toilet seats. Yeah, they're covered in pooh. They're like grease everything.
Oh my god, I open my phone. I took my
phone case off because I don't know if you know
this little hack, but if you want to give yourself

(21:02):
a speaker on your phone, you know how your iPhone
speaker kind of sucks. Yeah, sorry for droid listeners, but
you you probably are, like you know, I was gonna
make some just higher poor no, but um for any phone.
I think your speaker sucks if you put it in
a glass in a in a you know, in a

(21:24):
hotel room, might always put it in the glasses. So
I had to take my cover off to fit my
phone in a glass. And whoa what did you find that?
It was like this? It was like digging in the
seat of a of a Southwest flight like it was
just it was just it was sticky, and I could
I couldn't believe there weren't like silverfish living in it.

(21:46):
I was like, this would be a perfect place for
a bug to life. I remember my keyboard in college.
One time a silverfish crawled out of the letter J
and like went over to like the Tilda, and I
was like, oh god, how was that? I have like
critters living in here? I mean I was so discussing
in college, just like ripping things constantly in the keyboard. Um,
but yeah, satisfying. Yeah, what to open it up and

(22:10):
clean it out? Oh? I didn't clean it. I just
lifted it and go, that's gross. I like, I looked
for a thing to wipe it off, but there was
nothing nearby, and so I just put it back on.
I mean discussed it. I don't get it. Yeah, I
was like, what satisfying? Oh, cleaning something? I don't know
what you mean hiring someone to clean something for you. Yeah,
I guess that feels good, but I don't have a

(22:31):
sense of accomplishment about it. Um, okay, we have to
discuss the elephant in the room. Um, which are Anya's
new tasks? Anya got new team? There's anymore? Yeah, but
yesterday when I came, I mean, I still am having
a lot of trouble speaking. I think I sound like

(22:55):
I'm having some trouble with my list. Yeah, so's they're
not permanent yet though you're like, you have a of
what's it called a temporary Yeah, you know what it
feels like, Nick, It's exactly like if he took two
denting ice and chewed him up for like a minute
and then tucked him right behind your front teeth. That's
how it is to talk. So it's a lot nice
new matter or material right there. Oh that you're yeah,

(23:18):
you're doing really well with it. I can't. As soon
as you pointed out, it starts to go, oh yeah,
I hear it, but hey, yeah, getting like bubblegum tongue.
What's that? My god? What the fuck is that? It's
John Mayor lyric? Oh song? Because if you want what
was it like interacting with him? Nikki? I know him. Yeah.

(23:43):
A lot of people wrote me and were like, oh
my god, tell him I love him. I'm like, I'm gone,
Like the pictures are posted, this was last night. Um.
I've known John for you know, just perfect. I mean
I've known John about John since the year two thousand
when he opened for Guster and my my, the guy
that was in a little with Doug Rees took me
on like what I guess, a quasi date to go

(24:03):
see him and during your Body is Wonderland, which was
the first time I'd ever heard that song. He was
a new performer. We were there to see Guster, but
he was like this guy John. He had seen them
the night before and he was like, this kid that's
opening for them is so good. And he whispered in
my ear during your Body is Wondering and he goes
the song is about Sacks, and I was just like,
oh my God, and then um and it told me yes.

(24:24):
I mean this was high school. This was I was sixteen,
so I didn't lose my virginity for another um five
years and Doug's thirty year. No, Doug was my age two.
I loved time so much. Where are you Doug Reees?
If any Doug Reese? That is such a popular boy's name,
ninety eight Doug Grease. Yeah, that's what we called him
because ninety eight Degrees was such a popular band, and

(24:46):
so Taylor came up with it. She was like ninety
eight Doug Grease. So Doug Rees r ei s if
you know Doug Reese, please someone tell me how to
find him and tell him I'm looking for him. I'm
not trying to me like I feel like he's like,
she's a comedian. I don't want to be brought into
the spotlight. I will not put you on my podcast.

(25:06):
I just want to know where you. I just want
to reconnect with you and share some memories because I
love you as a friend and and and I don't
it's so sad that I lost touch with him. But um,
that song was about sex, and that's anyway John I
was like a huge fan of back in the day,
and then continuing on slow Dance, Sitting in a Burning
Room is one of my favorite songs. Um. I really

(25:29):
loved his like soul album he did, or like his
like um kind of like country ish, like folky album
he did, Born and Raised. I think it was called like.
I've been into him off and on over the years
and um, and then I met him at the Comedy
Seller maybe in two thousand fourteen or something like that,
and he was very nice and he's like comedy adjacent,
you know, his friends with a lot of comedians. So

(25:49):
that's how I met him through that, and then we
obviously connected. We obviously we connected when Bob Sagett died
again and um like helped each other a little bit
through that and that was really nice. And then I
saw him at UM. Where else have I seen him?
I guess I saw him at the after party the wake,

(26:10):
I guess um. And then I then I called him
for advice on having my vocal cord surgery because he
had the same same surgery, and so he gave me
good advice there and I did exactly what he said,
which is like get an iPad and a keyboard, and
like uh, and I ordered too small of an iPad,
so I returned it. But anyway, um, and then yeah,

(26:31):
the other night, I saw him backstage and I just
we just were like hey, and just like hugged and
then he was like you look great. I was like
you look great. And then he had a cold, and
I was he performed. I was front row watching him perform,
and then and then I went backstage because we like
went so I did my stand up and then I
just stayed out in the audience and watched the all
the bands, and then I went back for the finale backstage,

(26:51):
and that's where I saw him, and he had a
cold and he was like, I apologize. I'm singing you know,
an octave lower because I have a cold. So instead
of gravity, he was doing gravity Deacon, you know, like
he was just took it down one and then he
but I was like, I just told him. I go,
no one would have noticed, no, but you could just
tell he like, it's interesting to see someone who's so

(27:15):
famous and beloved call out this thing that no one
would notice if we didn't. Like, you didn't need to
tell us she had a cold. You sounded amazing. But
I as as a comedian myself, like anytime a joke
doesn't go well, I had to be like that was new.
I had to like always, or even when I was
on stage the other night, Chris was like, you didn't
need to say that, because there was supposed to be
a five minute like countdown clock, but there was none.

(27:37):
And as soon as I looked down to see how
much time I had, there was nothing there. And I go,
there's supposed to be a countdown clock, but I don't
know how much time I have. And then I got
offstage and Chris is like, next time, people didn't need
to know that. I was like, that's a really good point,
Like I need to remember the audience isn't, yeah, isn't
backstage they're not like, but you forget that and great
performers don't apologize for things they don't need to apologize for.

(28:02):
So what you're saying is John is not It's not
a great performance. No, I think that, like I. But
you know what it shows is that he's a humble
and still like doubts himself, and especially in front of
all of these legend legendary musicians. I perhaps if it
was his own show, he wouldn't have apologized. But I
think he knew he was amongst musicians that would maybe

(28:25):
notice or something. You know, when I perform in front
of comedians, I up it a little bit more. Unfortunately,
sometimes when people like real fans will come to your
shows though as a musician I've found the elegant, they'll
be like sticklers about like you didn't sing it like
on the record, you know, like why didn't you sing
it like on the record, Because a lot of times

(28:45):
you don't, you'll veer away from it, you know, yeah,
fun because you're bored. So maybe he's just like people
real fans will notice if I'm not singing the note,
I usually yeah, no, And you know what I would
have noticed. I probably would have noticed. And but but
he But I guess my point was like he he
sounded amazing with cold like what the fuck? And um,

(29:07):
so yeah, that was We just had a brief interaction backstage,
but that was it. Um what was my What was
I talking about before that? Ye? Teeth? Oh yeah you
teeth back to such a major Like I've I've kind
of wanted to get veneers before because they are they veneers?
Is that what they're called? What you think? So their
porcelain veneers. The reason I got them was because as

(29:28):
I've aged, my teeth have gotten a little discolored. I've
always had this one thing on my front tooth that
breaks off every eight years. I have to get it fixed.
And I was just like, I don't. And then like
braces didn't stick, like they've gotten a little more crooked.
And then my dentist is like, you could do in
visiline or you could spend a couple grand and just
get these four things replaced. And I was like that

(29:51):
would have said that. I cannot believe how affordable it was.
I can't believe I've been in invisilne since before Trump
was president. I'm not kidding. This is such a violent
procedure though, yeah it is. Do they fucking grind your
teeth down to stillagtites. At one point they go, okay,

(30:11):
you're all down, sit up, and you can rent did
have it ground down to little knobs? Yes, and you
can see they show you see that's the reaction. That's
I mean reaction I know that anyone should have. And
they avoid your nerves. I was asking the dentists. I'm like,
how do you know like that you're avoiding my nerves?
She's like, because I went to school for most of

(30:32):
my life. I was like, easy, lady, I'm sorry. I
wasn't an insult. That's that's what I could see how
that would be an annoying question, Like hattie, y'all know
what you're doing? No, you know what? I want to
know what they're doing in there. They are taking so
long to do little things. I'd recently had a tooth procedure,
and I'm like, what's he doing up in there? Like

(30:52):
there's somebody like different, like whirring sounds, and like, yes,
there's like a grind. There was a thing they were
chipping off an old filling and it's all of a
sudden a rock came shooting out him me and he goes,
that's normal. And I go, how about you tell me
it's normal before it happens, like a rock might come
shooting out of your face. It felt like, and it
sounded like you're driving the highway in a semi truck,

(31:12):
like flicks a rock into your windshield. That's what it
sounded like. It was like flicking around in my mouth,
all of us filling just shooting everywhere. And he goes,
that's normal, that's normal, And I'm like, it's flight. When
pilots don't tell you this turbulence is normal, We're not
gonna die, Like, let us know, John Mayer, us, let
us know your process, let us know what is happening here,

(31:34):
assume that we are going to assume the worst about
you even though we're not, and fill us in a
little bit on these stars. I would have associated a
heads up, like, you know, twenty five minutes in, I'm like,
how much longer is this gonna go on? And if
she had just told me so, we're gonna be up
in here for like twenty eight minutes or thirty minutes
like that would have been so nice. Give us a

(31:56):
time limit. And now you're scared to ask her questions
because she got so defensive about in the nerve question,
you hit a nerve clearly, but to not hit them.
At one point I stood up. She goes, all right,
just rinse. Now, I had no idea that my teeth
weren't in yet, and I'm like rinsing, and then I'm
feeling and all I feel. Nikki are like, oh my god,

(32:18):
imagine like three long drapes of your gums and I'm
like feeling these strings. I'm like, what, why is there?
Like there's so much stuff still hanging in my mouth
behind I think you need to trim my gums. And
she's like, oh, your teeth aren't in yet. Okay, I'm
just scentists, no wonder they were cheating. She was sorry,
this is not okay. No, Like, can I just say

(32:41):
come on that people need to know because I did
not know this, Because I feel like I've always been
to reliable dentists. I've heard multiple stories lately, um about
people going to the dentist and needing tons of work
done because ben dentists prey on people's people know people.
Dentists know that people don't take care of their teeth,

(33:01):
and they're shamed of it. So people will wait ten
years to go to the dentist. You know, Andrew, I
think hadn't been to the dentists in like twenty years,
like something like that, because people get ashamed and then
they go and they will just don't if you go
to the dentists and you need more than two cavities
or I would say more than three cavities filled and
your teeth aren't hurting, Like if you go in hurting

(33:22):
and then they say you have four cavities, Okay, you
probably have four cavities. But if you go in for
a checkup and your teeth aren't hurting and you get
more three or more cavities that they need filled. Second opinion,
because there are con artist dentists everywhere. I've run about
this and Reddit. I've heard personal experiences of it. Chris
is going to come in right now and tell us
a personal experience pro tip. As a pro tip pro

(33:43):
tip loss, don't go to a brand new dentist. They
have tons of student debt. Oh but if you go
to a guy that's why do you have me? Go
to doctor Bacila's he's like twenty two. He's in a
group that of like, he's in a good group. He's
a good guy. He's been at pyramid schemes. He's the coolest,

(34:05):
he's so good. He's he's totally surfer tennis. He has
a surfer voice, and he's Scott Bacula's nephew. He's just like, hey,
how's your teeth going today? How are you feeling going today?
So yeah, those I mean, I'm not saying that they're
all bad, but those dentists that are like young and
just out of dental school, they've got tons of debt
and they're like, hey, man, if we do a bunch

(34:26):
of fillings, that's what I think. That's what happened with
the stories that you're doing. Yeah, well there's yeah, there's
one story in Saint Louis. But I've i've I think
this is something that people don't know about. So they
they prey on your shame, you know, like they go,
oh my god, this is bad. You listen, and they
roll their chair over. Listen, they move the light out
of the way. This isn't good. So you've got six

(34:48):
cavities on your left side, you got four on the
right side, and we've got a couple of go to
a second opinion. I'm not I'm not lying to you
like they they they know when people are ashamed, and
there are bad people out there that are taking advantage.
So also I went to two dentists in New York City.

(35:09):
They said, okay, you have to get an implant. I
got a six thousand dollars implant on the right. And
then they go, you have a hairline fracture on this
on your other side. You're gonna have to get an implant.
Do you want to just do it now? I go, no,
I don't have six thousand dollars. I go get a
second opinion. That guy goes, you do have a hairline fracture,
but you don't yet need an implant, but you will.

(35:29):
Then I go to this guy a couple of years later,
and he goes, you have no hairline fracture. It's fine,
you do not and will not I need an implant.
Let's all just get second opinions for fucking everything. I mean,
that's that's the name of the game. I've never done
that in my life. I just take I just always
defer that I'm an idiot, and everyone knows better be
especially doctors who are fucking egomaniacs. You have to be

(35:52):
kind of sociopathic and you know, just like they just
kind of look at bodies like they cut into bodies,
like especially surgeons. They surgeons. That's why um sociopathy is
kind of beneficial to society because we need people that
can like cut into a body and not feel anything
or feel remorse or like deal with people dying on them. Babe,
before you leave, I got you some sugar. He hates them,

(36:15):
but sometimes when I want intimacy with him, I'll go
give me some sugar. And he loves it but hates it.
But today I got you a chocolate croissant. Yeah, because
I know you did. Yeah, yeah, enjoy it. If you
don't like it, just give it to someone who does.
You know, I hope you have the greatest day. They
hear it. Wait, he loves you when he thinks you

(36:35):
were wonderful. Thank you. I've heard about He didn't even
see my teeth. I'm just kidding. He didn't say that.
Should I shave off my incisors because I've heard that
it gives them more youthful appearance. What are they called,
Nikki la incisors? Because your first four teeth are all incisors.
I looked it up. Now, your lateral incisors are the
ones next to your front teeth. Two buddies on the side,

(36:58):
the little two little henchmen, And I think, yeah, can
make them a little maybe like a hairline shorter. Yeah,
but that's so exciting to have a new fresh set
of teeth. Like it's really whenever I get my teeth whitened,
it's such a boost. When I just got some like
gaps filled in and my teeth and it was like,
oh yeah, just like yeah, because when I would smile,

(37:21):
there would be I just have, um it's not like
a gap, but it's like my molars come together and
they make like a cave and it's called the black triangles.
And it was so funny because I was telling my
surf I was telling my surf or Dennis when he
was like, how your teeth, you know, hanging loose, And
I was like, yeah, there's like there's just when I

(37:41):
smile sometimes it looks like I have like food in
my back molars and these like at the very top
it looks like a little poppy seed. And he was like, oh, yeah,
maybe we'll scrape up something in the stain that didn't work, Okay,
we'll knock out this filling and refill it because the
filling looks stained. That didn't work, and I go, it's
not a stain, it's a fucking shadow because it's a cave.
It's like a little cave hole. And so he goes, oh,

(38:04):
black triangle. Oh yeah, he goes, usually we yeah, we
we have a process for filling those in, but it's
usually the front teeth, not on the sides. And I
was like, he's like, I've never done on the side.
I was like, I'll be the guinea pig. Fill those
pitches up and so now it doesn't look like I
have food in my teeth anymore. Which was the thing
that bugged me all the time. Why couldn't you figure
that out on the first try? Why did you have
to go through all these procedures. I can't say procedures

(38:26):
because it was a nice fucking he caught a wave
that morning and what it was, what it was it
called when it's like a nice uh what is it
called when when they're like the ocean's good for serving
a nar wave? You caught an there's a good swell.
There's a good swell or something I don't yeah, a
sweet swell. Yeah, I'm reading this book about um uh,

(38:49):
it's really fascinating. Hold on, what's the name of it.
I'm reading it slowly. I am going to read more
than a third of it. The book I do want
to update you all. The book about um adult children
of emotionally mature parents. I've only read. I stopping at
half because I got it. It's just repeating itself now,
but I got it, and it's unread the last like
a couple of pages, just so you get the drift

(39:10):
of the end. Sho dies. Yeah, it's me from loneliness
because my heard's from um. No, you're right, maybe I should,
but it's just repeating the same stuff, and it's I
hate books that. First of all, let me just say
another strong opinion. I have no more forwards, no more prologs.
I don't care about reading. I've already said this before

(39:31):
it bears repeating. I don't need to hear a bunch
of people who didn't write the book tell me how
good your book is. I bought it already. I don't
need to read someone famous who I don't even fucking now.
I'm fucking Michael Rochio about this person that's my voice
teacher who didn't know who I was. I don't know
whoever it is that you got to write your forward
that's so impressive saying how great you are. I paid

(39:51):
to read your book, and then I don't want to
read about all your thank you is about who helped
you along the process, how this book came to be.
Save that for the end when I give a shit,
because I've just read the book and I want to
know what's the genesis of this book. Don't forwards need
to be shorter. I don't need to see. I don't
need to see you think every colleague and every all

(40:12):
your I don't need you. If you're a psychologist writing
a book, spare me the bullshit about thank you to
all my clients who provided case studies and were so
vulnerable and offered me your time and compet like, shut up,
you're a doctor. You used your patients. They did sign
a release. Maybe you're using fake names. We know that.
Shut up. We don't care. We just want to hear

(40:34):
the data. But this book, it just goes. This is
another thing annoying in these psychology books. They'll go there
are three types of emotionally avoidant parents, and then they'll
tell you each one of them and then they have
to take you through each I guess what my point
is is, I just want I want to know what

(40:55):
I can do about it. Like all they do in
this book. What I thought it was gonna be was like,
if you have emotionally your parents, this is how it
shows up in your relationships, and here's what you can
do about it. Instead, the whole book is just like,
here's how to not here's how to not be an
emotionally avoidant parent or immature parent. First of it, it
helps you identify you had them, and then all of
a sudden, it's like, this is this is what they do,

(41:16):
and you go, yeah, I know, I lived it. And
then they go, well, here's here's how the here's how
your parents got that way. It's like, I don't give
a fuck. I already forgave them, like teach me how
to live. And you're also they're assuming that you're going
to have children. Yes, maybe that's it that annoys me.
But I'm reading this new book that I um actually

(41:37):
think is gonna help me a lot, even though I
know I've said this about a bunch of books, but
it can't hurt. And once it loads. It's called the
Art of Impossible by Stephen Cotler. Kot Ler Stephen with
a v The Art of Impossible, and it's really fascinating
and um it talks about how he used to he

(41:58):
was a journalist that was following people who would be
in the X Games, and these people that were doing
like death defying stunts like the X Games. When it started,
people were like, you can't do fucking fourteen one hundred
degree spin on a half pipe or whatever. Like they
were doing things that like no one could ever imagine

(42:18):
a human could do, and they were doing it. And
he was like, this is so fascinating that this is
constantly happening. I'm seeing the impossible being achieved by people
that had would not you would never think science would
not even think this is possible. And then he pretty
much gives you a step by step which is not
easy to follow by any means, Like this takes a

(42:39):
lot of work. But if you want to do the impossible,
if you have like a goal that seems impossible, there
is a way to do it. And it's a perfect
mixture of hold on, let me look at my bookmark
really quick. It's a perfect mixture of autonomy. They found
that people when they're told to work on something. If

(43:02):
you're at work and you're told you gotta you have
this deadline, you gotta have this in you'll get the
work done, but you're not going to glean from that work. Well,
what you as much as if you're not going to
like improve your yourself, is not going to improve from
doing that work. But if you are left to your
own devices and told, like do whatever you want with
this time, you will get so much more out of that.

(43:23):
So companies have like really used autonomy because they know
it's more productive. So it's really interesting three m you
know that makes tape and stuff. They were the first
people to say to their In nineteen forty eight, they
implemented this system where they allowed their employees fifteen percent
of their day they can do whatever they want, work

(43:44):
towards a project that they're passionate about, and which then
led to the development of the post it note. So
they did the math on it, and they go, okay, well,
fifteen percent of their income in nineteen forty eight, and
until nineteen seventy three was like a billion dollars or
something like fifteen percent of like their revenue was spent
on paying people to do nothing for their for three

(44:05):
m right, it was just their personal development, but it
led to innovation, multi billion dollar idea. And so Apple
has done this, Facebook has done this, Google does this.
They all have this thing of like during your eight
hour work day, fifteen percent of that time is devoted
to autonomy, whatever you want to do and if you're
like I want to spend it on Instagram, No, it's

(44:28):
supposed to be like it's supposed to be work, you know,
it's supposed to be like a passion project, like something
that you're passionate about. So um, but it's it's a
mixture of autonomy. So doing something that you care about
mastery and flow and mastery is really hard because you
need to constantly be pushing yourself slightly. Like if you

(44:50):
want if I want to improve singing and songwriting or
playing music, I always have to be working on a
song that's a slightly above of my level of being
able to play. Not a lot, it's a it's a
very fine window. So if you want to improve in things,
if you go too far, you're gonna hit a wall
and you're gonna stop improving. Always slightly better. Because the

(45:14):
human brain gets huge shoots of dopamine when you are
rewarded for learning something new, and like we are constantly
in search of dopamine. That's what makes us, that is what.
So what this book is all about is like triggering motivation,
because if you have motivation, you'll fucking do the work.
And so to trigger motivation, you have to have dopamine,

(45:34):
and dopamine gets set off and nor pronephron and all
those good feeling things get set off when you slightly
challenge yourself and you have little tiny winds. And so
this book kind of outlines how to perfectly reach a
flow state, and a lot of it had to do
also with like you have to exercise. You have to
like literally move your body and exercise, and you have

(45:55):
to get into a flow state, which a lot of
times surfing can I don't know. He was talking about
how surfing causes that because it takes focus, but also
your mind is I don't I've never had I don't
think I've been in a flow state before. Jiu jitsu. Yeah,
you get in flow. Oh yeah, it's like this like
meditative state when you're just kind of like like you

(46:15):
have this like tunnel vision where you're so like in
the moment and those little winds and stuff that happens
too in the sport. It's like, wow, so cool. Have
you skied Nikki? Yes, I get I definitely feel it
in skiing. You're right, like, skiing is my favorite feeling.
When I'm going down mountain by myself as fast as
I can, trying a little. He compares it to skiing too, actually,

(46:37):
because he's like, I try something new, I'm alone on
the mountain, I'm alone in my head, Like it's just
Skiing's the best fucking feeling. But this is what he
says to really harness mastery as a motivator, which mastery
is the hardest motivator there is. But if you get
mastery down and you're mastering, like that's where you see
the most growth. He says, take the fifteen percent of
your life that you've carved it out for yourself. So

(46:58):
fifteen percent of your week is usually one afternoon. It's
a four hour block, So four hours of your week
and you can or no five hours. I'm sorry. You
either do a five hour chunk once a week or
you split it into two two and a half hours.
I don't think you can do five separate hours. So
it's two and a half and two and a half
or five altogether. Carve that out for yourself, call it
your autonomy time, and spend it pushing on the challenge

(47:21):
skills balance, which the challenge skills balance is what I
just talked about of like slightly challenging, like you're learning
a new skill that's not completely but you're going to
feel a reward when you get there because you will
get there because it's not too challenging, trying to get
a little better at something that's aligned. And this is
what else you would need to have. You have to
have curiosity be about where you're pursuing, because without that

(47:42):
you will you will not keep going. So you have
to be curious about what you're pursuing, passionate. And it
has to have a purpose. So you can't just want
to write a book because I have a story to tell.
Your story has to have a purpose to change the world.
There has to be a purpose behind what you want
to do. If you want to write songs like, it
just can't be my Like your purpose could be to

(48:04):
make money and become famous, but that's not going to
get you far your If your purpose is to change
the world in some way and even in some small way,
but outside of yourself, you're going to also achieve so
much more than if you are just keeping it to
like your own personal goals. So this book is really fascinating,
and um, I hope people read it if if I've
inspired them at all, Let's go to break and come
back with um some pantos. All right, it's time for

(48:28):
fan thrust and let's just get to final thought. Let's
do it. Oh, I've missed obvious voice and I've missed
our listeners voices. Let's hear what they have to say. Okay,
let's start off with Amanda. Hey, guys, I wanted to
get your opinion on this because I feel like Nikki

(48:49):
would have a strong, one strong opinion. There's a girl,
Shanna Ray. I'm sure you've seen videos on YouTube or
TikTok or whatever, I guess you. How to show has
a show on TLC and she had cancer, some sort
of tumor in her pratuitary gland and she wasn't child
to like mature girl. So she looks like an eight

(49:12):
year old girl, sounds like an eight year old girl,
but she's twenty three years old. And this full grown
like adult man found the show or saw the show
and liked her and said her flowers and all this stuff.
I don't know, but they're dating and I don't gonna

(49:32):
feel about it, but I have to look it up.
It's fucking freaking me out, and I feel like he's
probably a pedophile. But this is like the perfect loophole,
you know, I don't know, what do you think? It
is a perfect good jack off? Yeah, okay, now you
know how I feel at the end of every episode.
It's really hard to come up with jay things. So
thank you for that. Um, what is this listener's name again, Amanda, Amanda,

(49:57):
thank you so much for this. Yeah, this is an
interesting story. You're I think you're gonna I'm gonna surprise
you here and say that I'm okay with it because
I've watched a lot of this girl's clips and she
comes across to me very much like an adult with
just a child's voice, and that looks like a child,
but like her essence to me is so adult that

(50:18):
she's maybe more adult than like a lot of fully
grown women I see that like do talk like this
and are just like, I'm a wait, a baby girl,
Like she's more autonomous and like knows who she is
more and especially given that she has that affliction, I
think or that whatever thing with her petunity Terry Glynn
that I think that she's probably a cooler person and

(50:40):
more mature because she's had to deal with such scrutiny
probably her whole life. And I think this guy and
I trust her to snuff out who wants to date
her because she looks like a child and who doesn't
because she's probably been dealing with this her whole life
or her whole adult life. Really, but I do first
of all, yes, spidy sense goes off and you go why,

(51:01):
I mean same with Mail and guy in acologists. Why
why do you want this above anything else? And I
feel like I saw some clip where he was drawn
to her because of her personality, and I trusted him
and I believed him, although I do think they are
broken up now, Noah, do we have any update that
you can find about their status. Let me just see

(51:21):
a travel blogger who is accused of being creepy for
dating a twenty three year old woman who looks like
an eight year old girl has given an update on
the pairs relationship. Swiggert the guy recently shared several snaps
on right whatever. Okay, so what's the update here? He said,
they're better off his friends. Yeah, we are just good friends.
We're getting to know each other. But I think it's
absolutely disgusting the attitude of some people. She's been through
so much in life. She survived cancer as a child,

(51:42):
She's always felt different, was treated by society, and her
pussy does not feel like an eight year old. I
you know, it sucks for this girl because, yeah, anyone
she dates is going to look suspicious, and I think
I wanna I want her to be able to have
all the things that I have as an adult woman

(52:04):
in life, So I wanna be air on the side
of like, I'm gonna trust her to find someone that's
not a pedophile. But yeah, it doesn't It doesn't look
great if she chose a child to exactly like she's
supposed to be alone her whole So is the other thing.
She's like, let me please, you guys, just date someone
that looks like I'm gonna date an eight year old
And then he'd be like, oh, that looks better. And

(52:26):
if you she just looks like an adult woman shrunk down,
she doesn't, you know, she doesn't look like a little person,
because little people have like definite different features that make
them look like little people. But she looks like there's
adultness to her. Um, do you think her skin ages?
Do you? I mean, like, do you think she because

(52:48):
she's small and she has like almost like her skull
shape has not taken that of an adult. So she's
like a child's probably skull. But the amount of I
think just then of college and leaves our body. Yeah,
so she's probably losing that, but maybe she's not because
her body thinks she's eight quickly, because your pituitary gland

(53:08):
regulates aging, doesn't it. Yes, So how do we stunt
that for all of us? Yeah, the last of us.
We should use her blood and rub it all over us.
This girl, shouldn't We get her to the fireflies as
quickly as possible. That's the last of us. Are Jaylo's
already on it? Oh yeah, yeah, she probably watch out

(53:31):
girls shot array. Jlo will be harvesting you're lately themselves. God. Um, yeah,
I can't. By the way, that fucking Ben Affleck commercial
super Bowl commercial where he works the drive through? Can
we give credit where credit is due? David Letterman did
that first? Go look it up YouTube. David Letterman used
to be at the McDonald's and Taco Bell drive throughs

(53:53):
and people would order and then they'd see David Letterman.
It was hilarious and it annoys me that they stole
that idea. And there Bob did it, like Albert Brooks's
brother by him. Can't I remember his name? He's on
Curb Your Enthusiasm. He died Bob? Oh, yeah, what's yeah? Yeah,
yeah he did that. Didn't he do that on Dave?
I don't know. Yeah, he used to do stuff like

(54:15):
that too, But yeah, it really bugged me watching the commerce,
I'm like, they just ripped off another comedy bit and
it's just they gross me out. But that's my opinion,
not knowing them at all. But you know, I think
we all know. Okay, let's get to the next caller. Okay,
let's give Peyton some advice. Hello everyone, Um, this is
my third time trying to get this done in less

(54:38):
than ninety seconds, so I'm going he just jump right
into it. My brother measures me saying that he can
only r s VP for himself from my wedding in March.
That is correct, because I asked him multiple times whether
or not he was going to bring his boyfriend, and
I received no response. My brother rarely texts or calls
back unless he needs something, which is typically money. The

(55:00):
wedding is going to be small and family only and
is less than thirty people. No one in my family
other than my mother and I know that he's gay
or even in a committed relationship. My family also thinks
of my brother as the golden child that can do
no wrong, but they are also the typical backwood Appalachis
that people would expect from southern West Virginia. Is it

(55:24):
shitty of me to not want my brother to come
out to our entire family on my wedding day? Or like,
what should I do? Let me know? Also, Nicky, I
am very excited to see you in Lexington, Kentucky in
less in a month. This will be my person first
week at the show and I'm very excited and listened
to for a very long time. Thanks. Thanks girl, And

(55:45):
how cool? I mean, what an interesting question? Yeah, this
is a hard one I'm gonna go with. Man, I
know I can't relate to weddings being a special day
like how that? Like I think I can relate to
this like if my sister wanted to go, if my

(56:08):
sister got engaged at my comedy special, my first comedy
special taping or something like, I'm trying to relate it
to my own life of like this is my night
and you're doing your thing. But getting engaged is the
same as coming out, So that's tough too, Okay, my
sister comes out, Like if someone wanted to come out.
I feel that your brother sounds like he's very angry

(56:33):
with your family, Like if he doesn't get back to things,
and he feels like and he seems like he's probably
not operating on a level that functioning human would operate.
If he's not getting back to tex he's asking you
for money and stuff. Might be all from the fact
that he has had to hide who he is within
your larger family and within your you know, culture growing

(56:55):
up in West Virginia. So my instinct is like throw
him a bull, like maybe him being able to come
out will be will like make him a better brother
and like U. But at the same time, you only
get one wedding, you know, if it goes well, So
maybe there's some kind of middle ground where he can

(57:23):
come out. Maybe maybe the wedding ceremony, boyfriend not there.
I've skipped a wedding ceremony where my boyfriend went because
it was just family and his cat like and like.
And then I went down a massage and then I
joined them for the reception later. Maybe the boyfriend shows
up at the reception. By that time, you've had your
glory of getting married. It's time for you to just

(57:45):
be on the dance floor and party anyway. It's not
You're not even going to notice the attention is not
on you. Something like that, or maybe or maybe offering
to you know, support him in some way to facilitate
him coming out in different way with your family in
a different time, but hold his hand through it and
support him and offer your like love and support in

(58:09):
and figuring out the best way to do that. That
isn't Your wedding day might be good, but this sounds
like a really tough situation. And I do not and
be the position you're in. So what do you guys think?
I am maybe being like neurodivergent on you're getting married
with a small wedding. What do you think can I
come out are your wedding? Yeah? I mean I have

(58:31):
questions for this woman. If she was here, I'd ask
follow ups like is it more important that your brother
comes out to you or is it more important that
you know how many people are coming to your wedding?
Because that was confusing. It sounds like she wants RSVPs. No,
it sounds like it's it sounds like there's a she
needs to find out if he wants to bring his

(58:53):
partner or not. It sounds like he's probably has gotten
back to her about like, yes, you do what to
bring a partner? And now the issue it started out,
it sounded like it was about like how many people.
I think the real issue is does my brother come
out at my wedding or not? I would say it's
to be a big deal. Lay off, just say I mean,
it doesn't matter like he's gonna come out when it's

(59:14):
his it's his journey. But if he brings her boyfriend
to her wedding, it's a coming. It's coming out, so
everyone will see it. So it's your it's your wedding day.
She want this spotlight taken off herself. I'm so confused. Yeah,
which I don't think is a bad thing to feel,
Like nobody if you're gay in West Virginia. I'm sorry,
it's still a little bit backwards there. That's what it's like.

(59:36):
It's like her family is still it's going to be
the bad day. She's saying this, I don't want my
brother to come out at my wedding. I'm having she's saying,
she's like if she's if it's like selfish of her
to have those feelings of like, I kind of don't
want my brother to come out of my wedding because
it's gonna pull for allowed to have any feelings you want.

(59:57):
But like, beyond that, what is she really asking us
is that he's asking us if it's okay for her
to tell her brother don't come out at my wedding yet,
because it's just it's got too much of a big
deal and this is my day. It's totally okay, Okay.
I completely misunderstood, Thank you. I thought she was like,
but do you want why that would be hard to
tell your brother, like, especially given that he has spent

(01:00:19):
his whole life closeted, probably with her family to be
like yourself one more event, yes, of course. But if
you were getting a woman, it would be no issue
and you could she for your new girlfriend, but so passive.
She's being so indirect, like even I didn't understand what
she's saying, what she really wants to say. She's like
cloaking theft. Fuck no, I can't, Well, yeah, she's I

(01:00:45):
can't think she's been I think she's ashamed of this
feeling that she's having that she doesn't want to share
this day with her brother's very important day of coming out,
which obviously she acknowledges the importance of that, and she
loves her brother and wants him to have that. I
don't think this is her being like, stay closeted. I
don't want anyone to know you're gay. It's like I
don't want them to know I don't want them to

(01:01:06):
find out you're gay today. But it sounds reluctant to
even see. So it doesn't sound like she doesn't want
to share the day. And I think a little bit
harping on what Nikki said, there's nothing wrong with saying
I don't want some form of drama to happen at
the wedding. I've spent a lot of time planning it,

(01:01:29):
and I want it the day to go like this. However,
I do want to support you and I want to
be there to hold your hand through this moment and
to introduce your boyfriend to the family. Sometimes there's like
a pre event dinner, why don't you invite him to that,
or some kind of family affair that happens before the wedding,
So then that way, at your wedding it could be

(01:01:50):
a harmonious event and hopefully even you're what does she say,
like her backwoods family or whatever, will take some curiosity
and use that as like a being event to not
only celebrate you, but get to know your brother in
this new way, new light in their world and his boyfriend.

(01:02:10):
That's why it's you know, And now I'm coming at
it from the brother's angle of like this this weekend
I got, you know, I was doing this event at
the rock and roll event I did, and there's these
I'm trying to, you know, win over this crowd and
five minutes and I said something before the show, I
was like talking to the producers of the thing, and
I was like, I'm a little nervous about what material

(01:02:31):
to do, and They're like, we just want you to
like kind of the action is happening right after you
go on, so maybe like kind of just like make
fun of how they're all rich, tell them to like
fucking and I go, yeah, I'll be like, you know,
I know you guys are rich and you're you got
rich because you're greedy motherfucker's but like tonight it's not
that night to be greedy. We all know how you voted,
you know, like I just said that. I was just
like riffing of like what like And then this guy

(01:02:53):
took me aside, like was like, really rich guy who's
like part of the event, was like, I know your
act political stuff isn't going to work with this crowd.
And I go, well, you don't know my act because
I don't do political jokes. You just heard me like
say that off the hand, so you're acting like you've
like familiar with me. But I mean I didn't say this,
But I go, you, well, you don't know my act
because I don't do anything political like ever. I was

(01:03:15):
just you know, say, and I tell you the second
he told me not to fucking say something about voting,
I was five like the second you feel oppressed for
something you know is right, and the second you feel like,
don't upset Trump people, I mean that if that whenever

(01:03:37):
I get told tiptoe around Trumper's feelings. I mean, the
party of fuck your feelings, and then I have to
tiptoe around their feelings. I fucking get enraged and I
want to throw my whole set. I mean, I want
to do all I want to go. I want to
I want to go the other way, and I feel

(01:03:57):
it's all related to that injustice of like I just
of I'm not going to let these people who like
I don't want to cater to their good time when
they are on the wrong side of things, so I
don't want so I could see your brother being like,
I'm so angry that I have to pretend I'm something
other than I am because these people are so close
minded and I have to do it one more fucking

(01:04:18):
night because my sister doesn't want to share it, like
I could see. And I could also see how he's
a loose cannon and you telling him the truth, which
is I'd rather do it another time, which is so
fine for you to say, and I believe the way
I would feel as well. I could see how that
would be terrifying because he could have that reaction that
I had, which is like, oh, another fucking injustice another time,
I have to keep my mouth shut. Well, I'm gonna

(01:04:40):
then when they say does anyone want to object to
this wedding, I'm going to stand up and go. I'm
get you know, like I could see it going. I
could see how tricky this is. And I don't think
I offered any solutions. But I is it too late?
Like did she already invite him with a plus? I
mean I think she said this was a month ago.
So I bet you we're going to find out in Lexington.

(01:05:01):
I hope she gets a meet and greet. If you
hear this, come talk to us, honey, go to the
merch booth, get a meet and greet, and then tell
us what happened. Because this is a month after you
left the message, so something has happened in this time.
And I'll see you in Lexington on Saturday to get
the details. Okay, we have to go. Great fan Trexes,
keep leaving messages. You can find them on our Instagram
in the link. UM, thank you guys for listening this week.

(01:05:23):
We'll see you this weekend in Bloomington, Indiana. That is
going to be tomorrow night Thursday. Then um Newport, Kentucky,
which is pretty much Cincinnati is going to be Friday
night and then and my dad is also going to
be on that show, so that's gonna be really fun.
And then Saturday will be in Lexington, Kentucky. So very
excited and we'll get answers to what happened with that guy. Um,
a girl's brother and her wedding. Um, thanks for listening, Anya.

(01:05:46):
Are your teeth gonna be normal next week? I know
it'll be like three weeks. Well, but I look awards
to that update. I don't know. I don't know when
you're having the when you're having them, like the chickolate
feeling removed. I don't know if I can for like

(01:06:06):
a while, like I don't want them because I have
to live with these temporaries for a week. Then I'll
shave them down again and make some adjustments, and then
they send it to a fucking lab for three weeks. Yeah,
it takes forever. That That's why I asked. I didn't
assume it would be anytime soon, but it's I'm still
worth it, and I think that look amazing, as I've
told you a million times, like I'm thinking about getting

(01:06:27):
it too, because it's so it just looks And now
you can have whatever teeth you want, and you're and
they are big enough that you can now make them
perfectly what you want them to be. Like they're get
off too much, you can't get it back. You won't
though you won't. Okay. Did you feel like this when
you got your vocal cord surgery? Like what if I consolutely?

(01:06:48):
I felt like this when I got lasick, like I
can't go back to having blurry vision? Who would want to?
But there was something about, like, I don't know if
people relate to this when you you know, when even
when Kursen got her in Visiline, she had like moved
on and learned straight. She was like, I miss in Visiline.
I want those back, like you want you just want

(01:07:09):
The other day you were kind of depressed, and I go,
I think it's because you just are getting rid of
your teeth that you've had your entire life my teeth. Yeah,
it's grief. I mean, your your teeth, the old teeth
are gone forever. And there's someone I'm doing. I'll just
be like I'm grieving my teeth. Yeah. I grieve hair.
When I lose one strand of hair, I go, this
has been with me for four years. I look at it,

(01:07:32):
I go, it's a half an inch a month at most.
And I go, that's that's fucking two years that this thing.
And I go, I'm I get sad, so it makes
total sense, but I'm excited to see your smile as
it evolves. All Right, we gotta go. Thank you guys
for listening. Don't be cooked and just shaved out your
teeth