#34 Pukas in The Back

It's the morning after Nikki's hosting gig at the MTV Movie & TV Awards: Unscripted and Between You and Nikki she's got to clear up the Snooki thing! Andrew talks about why he's been sleeping so much and they introduce what animal they are. You Heard it Here First features passive aggressive notes and Nikki cares about the headlines that feature her! She shares a how-to in the Reddit Dump and they reveal their favorite animals in the Final Thought.

Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Nicky Nicky Yeah here I am. Hey guys, thank you
so much for listening to the Nicky Glazer Podcast. Whether
you're you know, a regular and you've been listening a while,

(00:20):
or your brand new to the show. Welcome. It's Tuesday.
That means the second show of the week. Two more
to go. We're here every day, folks. I'm in Los Angeles,
as you know, here for a few more days with
my co host Andrew, who will join us shortly. My
producer Noah, who is usually joined from Arizona, is actually

(00:43):
staying at this airbnb that I rented for me and
my friends, so she is with me here live in
the Flesh High no Uh. Hey, Nikki, it's been great
living with you. Uh huge house. This this is like
a TikTok house, But TikTok is we're all much older,
so TikTok is what we hear. Um when we look

(01:03):
in the mirror, TikTok times running out. Better get the
gettings while the getting is good. Um. It was really
nice to have you here last night for a little
viewing party we had for the MTV Movie Awards, Movie
and TV Awards Unscripted longest title ever for an Award
show that aired on MTV. I hope you all watched it,

(01:25):
or at least I hope you go back and watch
my monologue. Um. And like I'm gonna put up a
couple of clips on my Instagram today, hopefully of the
funniest parts. In my opinion of the show, it was
really fun to watch with you guys. You were here,
Noah Andrew, Uh, my friend Sara Lena came over. Mica Fox,

(01:46):
who wrote on the show for me, was also here.
She's staying at this house with us. Um. It was
a fun little get together and yeah, it's turned out great.
I loved it and I was proud of it, and
I have no complaints. And they cut some stuff out
that was, you know, some funny, some really funny stuff,

(02:07):
I thought, but they had two for time. And now
I get to put those things in my act that
you can come see this summer when I'm and all
through the year when I'm live on tour, uh starting
in July. Tis You're not calm slashed tour for tickets. Um.
And then I woke up this morning to a lot
of headlines on the Daily Mail, which I usually check

(02:28):
every single night when I'm going to bed, I kind
of go. I do Reddit, I do Instagram, I do uh,
daily Mail as I'm falling asleep. But I didn't look
at Daily Mail last night because I didn't want to
see something that might upset me, of like they might
have misunderstood a joke and talking about me or um. So,
but I woke up this morning and you were like,

(02:49):
did you see you're on the Daily Mail? That's my
now impression. I texted Andrew right away because he's also
on the Daily Mail by default, because there's a picture
of me stress eating that Sarah Lena took a video
last night of me watching the Awards and it's like
the most dressed up version of me, and then she
pans across the room and I'm just like walking away

(03:09):
from the TV being like I get it. I was
there and I'm just like stuffing a rice cake with
cream cheese down my throat and uh. And then they
they screenshotted that picture from my story of me stress
eating and then put it on the Daily Mail article,
which thanks for that to whoever to that. I mean, actually,
that's the kind of content I would look for at
the Daily Mail, is like, you know, the insider track Um,

(03:32):
so you were on it too though. It was just
like the back like three uh three fours in my
head or something cool that's made it. My hair made it. Yeah,
it was. It's wild being on these things and um
being at this point in my career where people, Um,

(03:54):
I was just talking to Who was I talking to
about this? About like when you oh, I was talking
to Uh the I did the podcast Last Culture Estis
that's gonna be out tomorrow Wednesday. Such a good podcast,
such a good conversation, so funny those two Bowen Yang
and Matt Rodgers. Um. Also on I Heart Radio podcasts.

(04:14):
Um in the Big Money Players. Uh you know Slate,
which is Will Ferrell's production company, as is this podcast. Yeah,
you're listening to a podcasts approved by Will Ferrell himself.
But I did their podcast yesterday and we were talking
about just like as you get a little bit more
famous or whatever, like I've had a good year and
maybe people are like, shut up, Nick if you don't

(04:34):
want to hear her about how famous you are. But
it's just the facts, like I just something has happened recently,
and and it's things like these, like you make it
to the next level and you start like seeing your
face more places, and you start getting recognized more in public,
which is always the dream. For me. Was like being
an actual celebrity, not one that felt like I was
a fraud and I could have brushed it off before.

(04:56):
It's like, yeah, I've had TV shows and um, you know,
roast and all these things, but most people don't know
who I am. I've found it. I've found some way
to like sneak into the business, but now it feels like, um,
it feels like the next level thing. And then seeing
my face on the daily Mail, which is something I consume,
it actually makes it so I can't enjoy that stuff

(05:16):
anymore because I might be in it. And that's what
I was talking to Matt and Bowen about yesterday. We
were talking about Taylor Swift and how I made the
realization because I was initially annoyed that Taylor got so
upset with that Jenny and Georgia show. If you remember
back a few months ago, Netflix made a joke there
was some show Jenny and Georgia where the mother made

(05:38):
a joke to the daughter of like, you date so
many boys, You're like Taylor Swift, you know, and just
it was like a disparaging It wasn't that bad of
a joke, but Taylor really didn't like it and wrote
a tweet of like, how is misogynistic misogynist or misogynistic?
I am misogynist misogynist? Okay, it was misogynist, and um
just like just pushing this narrative about her that it's

(06:01):
just you know, like it was slut shamy or whatever
it was. And I was just kind of like cut Taylor,
like be cool, like it was just a little joke
or whatever. That was my initial reaction. And then last night,
as I was doing this podcast, I realized what happened.
I bet you anything. Taylor was actually enjoying the show
Jenny and Georgia and was watching it as an escape

(06:21):
from you know, feel like it made her feel normal.
It's like she's watching a show like we all watched
shows to just like, yeah, to be entertained and to
not be self obsessed and to get out of our
own heads. And then she's watching the show, she's loving it,
and then she gets this scene and this character she
loves tells this other character she loves don't be like

(06:43):
Taylor Swift, and it's suddenly like like she's now in
this show that she loved, and it must have really
hurt her feelings, because that's what happens when you know.
I didn't watch go to the Daily Mail last night,
even though that's like a bedtime ritual for me to
see what the celebrities are up to because I might
be talked about poorly in it, not because I might
they might say something nice about me, which they did.
They were like nick nicky Lazer puts on a leggy display,

(07:05):
even though they usually call people's legs pins, which I'm
very if anyone from the Daily Mails listening, the fact
that you didn't refer to my legs as pins makes
me feel um uh, you know, like you that I
don't have good enough legs because they're always like Prances
flaunts her, you know, her long pins. But um they called.

(07:27):
They said it was a leggy display, which is nice.
They put nice pictures of me, But I was scared.
I was anticipating that it was gonna be bad, so
I didn't I didn't get to enjoy my thing last
night because I might be a part of it. So
that's what made me realize that Taylor had every right
to be mad at that that innocent joke that was
made that I thought she was overacting about. But imagine
you're watching your favorite show and then they make a
joke at your expense. That would hurt. And I'm not

(07:47):
saying celebrities their lives are so hard, but it's just
the thing. And UM yeah, I'm just I'm rounding out
my days here in l A. Um. I thought I
might like go on some dates or something that doesn't
seem to be happening. Um, I've hung out with very
cute boys guy, a couple of guys I have crushes on. Um,

(08:13):
it's been it's been fun. But I'm I'm going to
dinner tonight with a friend that it might be a
vibe there, but I'm not really sure, but we'll see
either way, I'm going to have a great time. Um
and what else is going on? Might get a foot
massage later today today have the rest of the day
off after this. I just did e Nightly Pop, which

(08:33):
I'll be on the network tonight if you want to
watch that. I really really talked a lot on there.
I talked about the Snooky incident where Snooky heckled me
and I cleared that up. Snooky apologized to me for
heckling me. It did not air on the show, but
it did. Um, it did happen, and I was terrified
of her, and I asked, you'll I I literally didn't

(08:53):
want to do after Snookie heckled me. I was so
upset about it because I just felt out of control
and like she might do it again, or she might
just and if she does it again, I might say
something really mean that might make her and j Wow
like come at me. So I asked to be placed
on the other side of the the venue for the
rest of my hosting for the rest of the night.
Like I made them change the show because I'm supposed

(09:14):
to host from the middle and I go, no, I'm
doing it from the side. I knew they could because
in rehearsal we were debating which side, and I go,
let's do the rest from that side. And so I
literally had them changed the show so I didn't have
to be next to Snooky the rest of the show.
But then Snookie wrote to me the next day to apologize.
She deemed me. Then a friend of hers reached out
to Andrew and said, I'm with Snooky. Can um we
call Nikki? I called the number that Andrew sent me.

(09:35):
Snooky picked up and it was so sweet and so
apologetic and just like you know when you get really
She's like, I drank so much vodka. I'm never gonna
drink again. I didn't even remember what I said. She
was blacked out. I related so hard because she was
black out drunk, and she misunderstood a joke I was making.
She thought I was saying I'm surprised she's alive, because

(09:55):
she thought I was saying she was old and that's
why she goes the same age as me. That was
her heckle. But I was really saying, I'm surprised she's
alive because she makes bad decisions like heckling the host
of a show that she's being on and on. Um.
That was my point, but it wasn't a clear joke.
It was a joke I added too late. And that
was what I learned, was like, don't try to add

(10:16):
in a joke that Andrew whispers to you on the
red carpet, which he didn't even add. He wasn't like,
do this joke. He was just just we were looking
at the Jersey shore on the red carpet as we
were waiting to take pictures, and Andrews goes, god, I'm
surprised we're all still alive, and I go, that's really funny.
I'm gonna say that, and then I said it, and
of course it's the one joke that makes Snooky go,
you're the same age as us, and I was just like, no,
Stucky do. But honestly, I told Snooky this, and that's

(10:40):
why I tell everyone that when something really bad happens
in your life and you go, oh my god. Like
I was so upset after she hackled me. It threw me.
It made me like in this bad, angry space of like,
how dare she heckled me? How dare the producers of
the show not protect me from that happening? And I
was just like, no, I'm baby, nicky, mad upset backstage
like stomping around and my knee high boots where it

(11:01):
looked fantastic, and then I go and then I was
over it by the end of it. By the end
of the show, I like, you know, had switched positions
and I had gotten over it. And then when she
I guess but I even told myself then, because this happens,
something good will happen. And what what good game of
it was that Snooky reached out to me, and I
learned that this person that I dismissed as like just
a drunken mess who didn't care about me and like

(11:22):
didn't understand comedy actually did something that most people who
don't drink or aren't someone who you've seen fall into
bushes on TV and like who you have all these
preconceived notions about. She calls me, reaches out to me
to apologize, and has it's an apology that doesn't include
but it's because you said this. It was like, there's

(11:43):
no that was not okay that I did that. You
were doing your job, that is your job to make
fun of us, and I was a mess. I'm so embarrassed,
and I go Snooky, we are better off because this happened.
I like you more because you heckled me than if
you had it. So if that's any lesson to you
of anything today that goes wrong in your life, please
try to see how like in the end you might
not be able to see it. Now, there will be

(12:05):
something that happens because this terrible thing happened that wouldn't
have happened if it didn't happen, that you will be
grateful for Maybe you wouldn't like it over the other
thing happening that you wished would have happened, but it's
still something good. You'll be able to find something good
of it. And my good is that Snooky is a
class fucking act, more so than most people who you know,

(12:25):
don't drink a lot or you know, just say ridiculous things.
We all look at Snooky like a hot mess, but
she's not. That her apology was so sincere and so
much better than most apologies. I am owed to that
that I've received in my life that are laced with
this like, but it was because of this, and I'm sorry,
but like to say your stories without butts. Let's get

(12:47):
to Andrew. Andrew, come on in here. Hey, Andrew, are
welcome downstairs from our house. How do you sleep? Last night? World?
Keep but sleeping? Lately? You had a real passive aggressive
remarks to me over the last two days about the

(13:08):
time I've been going to bed. So let's just get
into Oh no, I'm not even passive. You're a sleepy
bit And I know I I resent you because I
scheduled too many things and then I look at you
having like rest and I'm like, Andrew doesn't work hard,
but that's not true. You do work hard. You just
like you know value rest, which I don't. And so

(13:28):
when I work all day and I come home and
you go to bed early and I want to like
hang out with you, I get piste off because I'm like,
I have you around, so you'll hang out with me,
and you go to bed and you lay in bed
and it just makes me mad. But here's the thing,
But I'm not right. I'm sorry. You don't focus on
how much we do hang out. You focus on the
time we're not together when I'm apparently sleeping. Yesterday, we

(13:52):
hung out until ten o'clock at night. We watched the
MTV Awards, we watched the Thing whatever. I hung out
with you at lunch, and then if I go to
bed at ten fifteen, it's like, how could you go
to bed so early? Well, last night I went to
bed early too, But like in past nights, let's go
through the nights, because I think I was with you
more than you think. Okay, let's go through. Okay, there

(14:14):
was um Okay, yesterday I did, or two days ago
I did. To tell the truth, for thirteen hours, I
was on set in which I didn't see you, and
I think you did a podcast and slept all day
and laid in your bed for hours for the day
and you probably will I woke up at seven am,
but that's not going to bed early. But then that
night I got home and you did not hang out?

(14:35):
What was that night? Sunday night? What did we do?
You went bowling and then you came Oh so I
was okay, So you came home and then I went
to bed because you didn't get okay? Did I ask you?
Did I ask you go bowling with us? Yes? Okay?
And what did I go to bed? Then? Did I
go to bed after you then? That night? Yes? Okay,
So I stayed up later, I was still awake when
you got home. I wouldn't talk to you. I know

(14:57):
you would have. Okay, So let's let's man. I'm really
I'm really a horrible person here. Um what else the
day before Saturday? That that's when you There was one
night where I was like, why is he going to bed?
This is the one night I went to bed would
have not been feeling well, I haven't. I'm sorry, I
didn't know that you even said something yesterday? You go

(15:18):
why am I so tired? So I'm wondering what's going on?
I don't. I finally feel more clear headed today. You know,
when you're sick but you're not sick, but you're sneezing,
but you don't have a flu, so it's probably the vaccine.
But no, but like vaccine so long ago. I know
I'm kidding, but but you know when you're like, you're
you're run down, but you're not sick, so you can't

(15:38):
complain because you're not sick enough to complain, but you
are feeling shitty enough where you're cloudy in your head
and you're not feeling allow you to say I feel
sick if I if I don't see you symptomatic. The
only night I went to bed and I agree with
this is the night of V M A S Yeah
or whatever whatever I hosted that long name I went.
There were like fifteen or end people here. I stayed

(16:01):
up till eleven thirty. I felt like, okay, I was
very tired. I don't know why I thought, I, you know,
gave it my all and I went to bed. That
was the one night where I probably could have stayed
up a little. It's true, I don't mean to give
you ship. I just love your company. And I always
wanted so that I have people around and that night.
And the thing is, i want to have like boys

(16:23):
and people over, but I'm uncomfortable having just them over
without like a friend there to like support it. So
sometimes I want you to like hang out so that
I'm not alone with boys You're like my I just
it's not because I'm scared of them. It's just like
it makes it less like they'll try to kiss me
or something. I agree, So I am scared. And you
do have other friends that have been staying at the house. Yes,

(16:46):
that's true. I'm not the only one here. You aren't
the only one here. And then also the only night
that I've like kind of did my own thing was
the night of bowling since I've been here. So yeah,
so I've been pretty much by your side except for
don't tell me the truth or whatever. Don't tell me. Also,

(17:06):
you left me at a show the other night. I
didn't need to Where did you go? The thing is,
I am not even a text, but I didn't know
that you were even there. Still, I was just like
carl out called an uber while I'm on stage because
we're late. So she called Nubert and then I walk
into it and you're gone, Like, didn't leave you? Yeah,
I didn't even get it. I was waiting in line
for the bathroom. Uh yeah, I never even got a text. Well,

(17:30):
and then I had and then Ramy you convinced him
to go to the improv yes, to fill in for me,
because yeah, he drove, so he left me to man
and so you got laugh man, you got left. That's
that's Andrew's old bit. They used to like abandon their
friends at a You left your friend at a strip
club once that was way out, like three hours away

(17:50):
from where you guys were staying, and you guys all
left and he eventually called you and you guys all
just go. You got left? Is that it? And then
he stayed there and I don't need became a general manager.
He moved in with the owner who was a coke head,
and he got completely addicted to cocaine and like, all
because of your prank, Yeah, and kind of ruined his life.
But he's back. He was a firefighter for a little while. Um,

(18:13):
let's talk about these stuffed animals that we've been teasing
on our socials. Nikki Gleitzer Pod on Instagram. It is
private account, so you'll have to ask for access. We
have new mascots for the show. We went to this
really expensive, uh cool store, Fred Siegel in l A.
You might recognize that name from Clueless when Share is
going to get her driver's license and she's screaming that

(18:35):
she can't find her silk top from Fred's seagull and
I always heard that as a kid, being like Fred
seagulls like fancy, and so we went to the store
and they everything's very expensive except the juicy couture jumpsuit
I got for ninety nine dollars that was like a
fucking steel there. I think they like mislabeled it um.
And then we also got these stuffed animals that were
forty five dollars each, which is way too much, but

(18:56):
they're so soft. I think they I thought they were
definitely made from animals because they were so expensive. It's uh,
there are many many animals. Yeah, you had to go
ask is that real hair? And it's like like, and
I go, thats mean they're real because that's an insane
amount for a six cept animal. Lama, Well, well, yeah,

(19:19):
that rely from tow tohead that's about nine. Yeah, that's
a I mean that's a huge cock for you, right, yeah,
that would be amazing. Like this lama's body that would
be too big for you, now, I would love that.
I mean well with the fur, like with the fur
included as the girth. That's way too big. No, no, no,

(19:39):
I mean maybe for a different hole. I saw a
really funny thing on TikTok yesterday that was like, I
can't believe I've never thought of this joke. This is
such a mean joke to make. When I heard it,
I go, God, damn it. She goes, I was looking up,
but it was some version of this. I didn't even
see it. I just saw the end of it, and
I go, oh, I know this joke. She goes, I
was looking up with this guy and you know when
you're and he and he puts it in the wrong hole,

(20:02):
and he like snuck it in the wrong hole, and
it's like, dude, I don't want to get pregnant, so
like the right hole would have been anal is so funny.
So um, anyway, we got these stuffed animals because we
were looking at this whole shelf and they're all these
animals and they were so cute. The cutest one was
the hedgehog, and we're like, we gotta get that, and
I go, I want to get it for maybe my
niece and nephew. And then Andrew was like, what if

(20:22):
we had it as part of our set because we're
building our set right now for our studio in St. Louis,
so we can a video for the podcast. And so
Andrew was like, let's get one to represent each of us.
Andrew picked the hedgehog. And then I was trying to
get everyone on board with me being the rabbit who
we were with. We were with some friends and I
was like, aren't I the rabbit? Because Sharad Small when

(20:43):
he would see me eat at the comedy Seller, he
would see all my salads and he would go, Nikki,
you eat like a runaway rabbit, which is one of
my favorite things because it does look like a rabbit
that just like, this is my first meal in a while.
And so it's like, I'm a rabbit. And everyone was
like bitching a llama. And here's the thing. I think
you're in between a llama and a rabbit. But the
llama I thought was a better stuffed animal. I think

(21:04):
it's beautiful, but I am a lama. I want to
embrace it. I my um brother in law often has
a game where we like play what what animals you
look like? And my sister is a horse my brother
in law's kuala, and they both determined I was a camel,
and I feel like a llama is very much like
a camel. So it's close as we're gonna get. And
I really love lama's Now, dude, a llama is a

(21:25):
high class camel. How good was the Emperor's New Groove
where there was a llama in it? Remember with David
Spade's voice, Yeah, it was pretty good. So so now
we're the lama and the hedgehog. I love it. I think,
I think, I think, uh, you know why I love
it because I love those animal videos where it's like
two different kind of animals that should never be together,

(21:45):
like a duck and a lion, And I just feel
like you would never see a hedgehog and a llama
hanging out their platonic friends. They can't have sex. The
hedgehog cannot physically reached the lama's vagina, even if it
tried every day to pretend like it wasn't into it.
Are you what are you talking about? Pretend every day
that you're trying to reach um? Can we um talk

(22:10):
about Uh, let's talk about that. Let's talk about that.
What people wonder why we don't have sex or we're
not together? Have we ever a dressed that on the show?
I mean, have they heard us talk to each other?
I mean the thing is, every time I share any
kind of UM, I've been I shared recently this hack
that Andrew and I came up with. I think we've
shared it on the show where we say rooster as

(22:31):
are safe for it if we're in an argument. And
I said that the other day and someone goes, that's
exactly what you learn in couples counseling, and I was like, yeah,
like Andrew and I are I think I'm I we're
practicing like being married because it's like we kind of
talked to each other like a married couple. I just
don't know if a married partner would be as cool
as we are with each other whole thing. It's it's like,

(22:55):
what do you mean as cool? Like like if I
don't know, like we, you would have to probably be
more loving to your partner than we are to each other. Yes,
that definitely, but we're a married couple that like isn't
but we are loving, but it doesn't it doesn't. I
don't want to touch you, and like, even if I

(23:15):
touched you for a second, I touch you on the
red carpet, I didn't try to embrace you. And I
know we hug sometimes when it's like necessary, but I don't.
I just don't need that for you. No, and I don't,
and it feels very awkward for me as well. Yeah,
I don't know why that is because we we you know,
I don't know. Do you hug your do you plug
your brother in law a lot? Like? Yeah? I mean

(23:36):
you're not really a touchy feely person. I'm not. People
don't think I am, but in a relationship, I so am.
I want it constantly. I want to. But have you
ever been like with your guy friends being able to
cuddle with a No, because I don't want to send
the wrong message. Like I understand that touch can like lead,
and I don't think that you're suddenly going to be like,
oh my god, Nick's into me, but like there are
things you can't help sometimes, like the one time remember

(23:56):
when you were like who's this walking down the wordwalk
and it was me and you like were attracted to
me at first, and then you were like, oh my god,
like sometimes you can't but you were so far away.
I couldn't touch you. I know, like I might touch
you in a way that you like it just for
a second it feels good, and then your mind's confused,
or you might touch me in a way that I'm like,
oh that like, and then it just makes things not

(24:17):
like even my even my girlfriends sometimes like Kirsten and
sere Lena, Like I'm really thinking I might be a
little bit. Yesterday, it was on less Culture, since I
was talking about my feelings about Taylor Swift, and they
were talking about how a lot of uh lesbians are
into Taylor Swift. It's like a thing that like, And
I was realizing, like all my friends that have made
as adults that are like secretly really into Taylor Swift

(24:39):
or that I sought out are actually like late in
life lesbians are late in life bisexual women. And I'm like,
I think that might be, Like I'm definitely capable. I
would be in a relationship with Taylor Swift, and I
truly would be in a loving like I love her
in a way that I do feel like Taylor has
masculine energy, like she's she's tall, she commands the stage

(25:00):
a man's in life. She like owns like I don't know,
she's very although in a relationship with her, I would
want to be the masculine one and like take care
of her. But why is masculine taking care? I thought
that would be feminine to like take care of No
femininees like receiving, masculines like providing. So I would want
to like if I would want to be the big

(25:20):
spoon with Taylor Swift, I wouldn't want her to be like, actually,
that's kind of hot to me that she would be
like I don't know which way I want to think.
I want it both ways. Fuck, but I do like
to be a little Yeah, yeah, you like to be
bossed around in bed, right, yes, but I've been more dominant. Yeah,

(25:40):
I've done a few moves where I really like turned
on whatever, like and I just I don't know, I
almost said her name, and I don't think she likes
me saying her name here. I think it's had her
name before. I'm sorry about that. It's fine, but like
I'll like like just like grab her and man handling,
like choke and like do all that and she's like
and like she'll come and this. I was like, I

(26:01):
gotta do that more. But then I feel like if
it's not organic, it just feels like I'm kind of
so you do it out of like horny nous. Yeah, yeah,
that's when it's the best. Yeah. Yeah, you can't just
man handle, I think, because then it seems like you're
just angry and you're getting your But I was telling
you this the other night, like I specifically ask for
what I want guys to say to me, like all

(26:21):
my things, I can't have a guy read my mind
that I want him to tell me you can't come
and then try to make me come. I literally go, okay,
right now, I need you to say, NICKI, you can't.
Like he's literally fingering me and I'm like, tell me
I can't come, and he's like what. I'm like, tell
me I'm not allowed to come, and then try to
make me come, and then you have to tell me
when I'm allowed to. But do you understand? And he's
like okay, and I go, so tell me, don't don't

(26:43):
say I can't come, and he's like you can't come,
and I'm like, like, mean it and he's like, don't
you fucking come? And I'm like okay, I can't. I
please please And he's like okay, and I'm like, no,
don't let me yet, like I really gotta back, Like
we're gonna earn it. But doesn't that feel like you
let him to the water too much? You know? It doesn't,
don't because I'm still so that time might be a
little bit awkward. But the next time he knows what

(27:05):
I want and it's it's easier than having a conversation
outside of but like, I just need to ask for
what I want and not be ashamed that that's what
I'm into. And some people go, okay, well, what if
the thing that you're asking for isn't what would turn
that person on? What if he doesn't like that kind
of play? And it's like, well he should be. He
should know that it makes me horny and it's gonna
make me have a good time, so that should be

(27:25):
reason enough for him to do it, and that should
turn him on exactly, and it and and it will.
Let's get to the newsst I always think of Veep
whenever I hear that it does feel like the VP intro.
I love it. First of all, I hope everyone's having

(27:45):
a great time out there, and I swear to you,
I want you to have all the swells. Um this one,
this story, I actually picked it because it was literally
I read it like right after you were like, oh,
you're going to bed early book, and then I I
all I do is say that sleep is so important.
Then I fucking bully you for going to sleep. I

(28:06):
am a difficult person. I'm not easy to be friends with,
and I'm sorry. Well, when me and a Meal were
like having like bro time, like older brother, younger brother,
or dad and son. However, you want to look at
the age you're like, you guys, just like when we
just go to the mall, we like float around the mall,
we go to a store, we go to. Meal is
one of the most easy going people in the planet.

(28:30):
And that's different than me being I need to go
here and there and then we're leaving. Well, I don't
even look at that rack. Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, you
yell at me, you ask for what kind of necklaces?
Oh god, the POOKA day we go to a you
sound like it's like nine eleven. It was It was
my nine eleven shopping with you going to a store

(28:50):
and hearing look going to the jewelry section, seeing that
they had no Puka shall necklace is a very limited
jewelry section. That's clearly this is all the jewel we have.
And then when I'm checking out at the front of
store and he's checking out with his shirt that he
spent eighty dollars on that was truly worth not even
eighty cents and you haven't worn it even once since
because I've shamed you, so sad, so bad, But that's
that's okay. And also didn't you didn't get enough attention

(29:13):
for it when you did wear it, so it was
kind of a fail. But you got to the Crest
register and she goes, can I help you find anything else,
you know, like the normal thing that they asked, And
he goes, do you guys have any Puka And I
just go Andrew, do you think they're carrying Puka's in
the back. It was just really annoying to me. I go,
you know, and she goes over to the rack. I go,
you already looked at that. We looked at it for
ten minutes. There's no Puca's, Like what do you think

(29:33):
this is not like a Cuban cigars that they keep
in the humid or in the back like a secret code. Alright,
let's first story. So it's about sleep. I guess. No.
Here are phrases that make you sound passive aggressive in
an email. Oh okay, so passive aggression in the email?
Can I guess some of them? Yeah, they're actually like
I know the best. The number one is, uh is

(29:56):
regarding my last email or like fall doing something like that,
Like it's something like that per my last Yes, it's
a totally passive aggressive. It's like I know that you
you didn't really read I'm following yet, So are you
supposed to just say, hey, I'm I guess the alternative

(30:17):
to being not passive would be I am desperate to
get a response on this, and I know no one
read this yet, so I'm sending it again, like just
be very honest. I guess I like that better because
people don't want to upset people. But everyone can read
through it, right, like your the reader of this aggression
is and it leads to passive aggression like you can
do it back, and then it just intensifies. People are

(30:38):
so afraid this is all about like all Workpeople are
so scared at work, and that's why no one takes chances.
No one does anything risky. That's why the TV watch
is boring. It's because no one wants to get fired
by saying, let's take a chance on green. This is
just in show business. But TV is boring because no
one wants to go, I believe in this new show
that that you know, I know seems skiing outside the box.

(31:01):
And if I go, I want this and the show fails,
I get caned. So why would you ever take that risk?
They that happens in UH so whatever in my brief
stint of working in UH in operations for my brother,
like so you learn. So the Toyota way is all
about so the factory, everyone even the person the lowest

(31:22):
person to the janitor, can bring up like issues they
see or like it's all open to questions like and
there's no not one bad question, and so no one
feels shamed for bringing up something out of the box,
you know, outside the box, no matter what. And it
makes for a bet. That's why they're fucking great at
what they do. But a lot of American waiter, like
don't you dare bring that out like don't or tell

(31:43):
me you're good idea. So I could then come and
say a good idea like fuck you. Everyone's afraid. So
for future reference is another one for future reference, I
mean saying that anyway, like hey, um, that's like I'm
not mad, but I am. And if you do this,
you've been warned. Oh, future reference, get that out of

(32:05):
your so important, you're so important. I've definitely written for
a future reference. I should google these things within my
Gmail to see how many times I've done these things
up to the top of your inbox? Yes, is that
another one? Bumping this up? I actually I to anyone
who works for me listening, I enjoy a bump because

(32:26):
things really do get lost. So noah, don't ever, don't
ever hesitate to bump something. I always go but bump.
So it's like it's fun. Yeah, but that's passive. That's
even more passive it is. No, I think I think
making it funny makes it. Yeah, it's a little bit
more passive, but it has but an exclamation mark two
always adds a fun like why do we have to

(32:48):
like because people are so sensitive and can't handle the
as per yours? You go to sleep early, and I
get angry and I go to my room and take
an angry ship. Okay, just how many times do you
just swallow your anger towards me about things? I really? Like?

(33:08):
Should I count them? I really? Yeah? Like like you're
in prison, like counting the days right? Yeah? Like, uh,
another night when you really let like defended yourself and
gott mad at me and yelled at me. I was
proud of you. You can always do that. I'm serious,
I know, but I'm not gonna do it just like
because you said I go to better I'm gonna pick
my spot. Yeah, you can just go Uh. I caught that.

(33:29):
You're a bit Honestly. You could say that and I'd
be like, oh really, and then we get into it
and be fun. Here's the thing I can feel when
you're upset about something underneath it with me, and it's
just like, why I don't say I will I will
Sama camel limousine camels, that's the llama. That's not my joke. Okay.

(33:54):
Just to be sure we're on the same page. Oh,
just to be sure we're on another passive aggressive thing
going forward one going forward? We should really do it
this way, Yeah, Okay, so going forward, let's get to
the next story. Going forward is why we don't work office.
This is why we could never happens. All fake, it's
all bullshit. Every people wearing suits and offices. Like I

(34:17):
love that scene in Succession was in the first episode
where Kieran Culkin goes to work and shows up at
his like dad's office or brother's office, and everyone still
in suits. And then he's walking out and he goes
and he just makes fun of all of them, and
it's just like, it just mocks the pageantry and the
just the theatrics of of business. Why do people with

(34:39):
dealing with a lot of money have to wear suits?
It's so stupid. But him being the son of the
owner allows him to do that, So he's a fucking
piece of ship too. They're both pieces of At least
he's calling it out, and it's just like he's allowed
to calling out because women have to wear like pencil
skirts and high heels to be like a receptionist somewhere.
It's just bullshit, so stupid. Neighbored. Next story, Hey Evan Swells, Okay, neighbors,

(35:03):
leave us note for a woman who has loud orgasms
to close their window, listen to the message. This is great.
Did a woman who has the extremely loud orgasms comma
Whilst we are very happy for you, could you please
close your window and maybe consider your neighbors passive aggressive
for future reference? Can you close your goddamn mouth? Okay,

(35:25):
everything in it was good until and maybe consider your neighbors.
It's like, that's the one where it's like you're being inconsiderate,
and it's like, just say, hey, you're being in considerate
right now, close your window instead of being like, and
maybe consider your neighbors. That's the part of the note
that bothers me, and as someone who has really loud
orgasms and has received complaints before when I didn't know it,

(35:46):
she she might not know. Oh yeah, you're in the moment.
You don't know. Always think that that you know loud
people having sex loudly, that they know, but I never know. Well,
here I try to be quiet. Never heard you? Yes,
thank god? But do you do it when you're alone? No? No,
when I'm alone. It's like, so is it theatrical for

(36:06):
your partner? Are you actually doing it for you know?
They're just way. I try to keep them quiet, really quiet,
when I'm alone, because it's just like embarrassing kind of
it's kind of embarrassing make yourself scream. Yeah, I don't
need to make like screams. But when I'm being hounded
your hand, and it's part of it. It's yeah, it
would be weird to be like you fee your hand,

(36:27):
feel so good my hand? Yeah. Yeah, I don't make
noises when I'm masturbate, but also I am aware of,
like there's other people here, and but even if I'm alone,
I don't think I do it. But when I'm with
someone else, I think it is for them. It's not
it's like that makes sense, it's for them. They're there too.

(36:48):
It's like part of the experience. And I love to
just That's what sex is so great. You can like
make noises that you wouldn't normally make, and you just
feel like a wild animal. So I hate having to,
like do women moan more, um, if they're having sex
with a bigger guy. In the moaning it's actually from
like just trying to take it in or is the
moan more from the actual orgasm and the pleasure. It's like,

(37:10):
you know when you get your foot massage and it's like, oh,
it's that it just like feels so. But that's it's
not about the size. It's just about like it feels good,
no matter where they're hitting or like what I mean,
it could be size, because that could feel good, but
it's it's generally just it feels good. No, what don't
you agree? Yeah, it's about feeling good. But I just
like I love how through the podcast, Andrew like very

(37:30):
sneakily asked these questions about size. It's good. I know,
it's it's it's it's constantly on this. It's penis passive
penis aggression, questioning whether or not his is adequate. Yeah,
I mean, I mean constant. I don't know. I don't Yeah,

(37:51):
I guess you you but you are confident in your
penis size. Now, yeah, I can funk good. I really
do I get? Really do you get? I don't get
as many moans as I think I I you want.
Sometimes I don't get moans because they say there's someone
else in and they lie, which makes me feel nice.

(38:12):
You know what's a hot moan is when they go
and they take the pillow or they take their hand
and they go. I can't moan. I want a moan,
but Yeah. No, I always put the pillow over my
face for sure, when I really got to make some noise,
and then I like, screw that's. I do that a
lot of times when there are people that could hear. Um. Yeah,
I was really loud with the last person I was with,

(38:34):
and uh, I couldn't help. It just feels good to
just be like, actually, I'm so horny and I just
feels so good. I don't care who hears. I don't care,
Like that's there's something in my brain that shuts off
of like I don't care about other people considerate of
my neighbors. That's what a llama does and spits allama. Yeah,
Llamas have those tongues when they chew, right that they

(38:54):
have that that wet mouth. Yeah, that's maybe you're the
llama and her a Hedgehong. Next story, all right, this
is a why do I care? Why do I care?
All Right? Nikki, you were did the MTV and TV
Awards on scripted last night, So I'm in the headlines

(39:17):
today celebrity headlines. Yeah, selet time. Nikki Glazier jokes about
Chris Stouse and Gleb of fair Room affair rumors that
she hosts the Empty Movie and TV Awards. She literally said,
I think you guys bang. You read that's so wrong,

(39:37):
but okay, So it was rumored the Globe and Chris
you said it. You'll you'll see and if you listen
back it said as you just so, I made a
joke about gleb and banging on my awards and it
got picked up. Yeah, So it was rumored that my
old dance partner Club and his partner from this past
season on season twenty nine I believe, or maybe thirty uh.

(40:00):
I was on twenty seven with him, He and Kurshell
from Selling Sunset possibly hooked up and which led maybe
to his marriage falling apart. And then she ended up
dating Kio, another guy from Dancing with the Stars. So
then it was like, wait, did they did her in
Glob hook up? And regardless, it was a great joke
because I got to say to her like, oh, you
and Glob got further than me and Glub did I

(40:22):
think you guys banged? And it's it's true she probably
did get further with him because I didn't. He was
married when I was on the show with him. I
almost wanted to add the tag I think you guys banged,
and I was gonna go, but I might have a
shot now since what you did ruined his marriage because
I couldn't touch him. I was gonna say, like, I
couldn't do anything when you were When I was his partner,
I was like, I couldn't get as far with Glub

(40:43):
as you did because when I was with him, he
was married, but now he's not anymore because of what
you did with him when you were on the show.
So you could be like you had. The only reason
Glen didn't me is because he was married. I know,
I know, and then winked at a camera. I know, Well,
I do think that's probably no, no, no, that's I
don't think we're we're good friends, and I don't think
that vibe is there. Even though he would get turned

(41:04):
on during practice when I would do a para hilter,
you could feel when you were dancing with him. No no,
no no no. I sometimes during there was he would
just look he just used me like did it feel big?
Like what's a big cock to dance with? I have
no idea what his penis felt like. I did make
a joke that he was hard on me during rehearsal
and I said, you know, boners are natural, but he

(41:24):
was no, I never saw it felt his penis really knows.
Why would I feel because when you grind, you grind
it a lot. But it wasn't like it would be
soft my thighs or my like top of my thighs
don't have that much feeling or something to to sense
the girth of someone. I don't know. I don't want
to talk about clubs, Penis. I don't either. I have
a separate podcast for that. It's behind the paywall. Yeah,

(41:49):
to go to my Patreon. No, I don't know what.
But anyway, um Krischell was like really took it really well.
And I met her on the red carpet before and
I was like, I'm gonna make jokes about you. I
hope you don't mind. And so she was so nice
backstage after I saw her. After I made the joke,
I was like, snooky got mad and how called me
you were the one that had a right to I
was like that. She was like, oh, it's fine. And

(42:11):
Gleb was cool about it too and loved it, and
um I even heard from Glub's wife on Instagram today
and she was like you killed it. That was so
funny and like wink wink, And she was so sweet
because I was friends with her when I did the
show too. She really helped me out. And that's a
story for another time. But um, yeah, and then I
think I had a couple more headlines, but yeah, why
do I care because it's me. The other headline you

(42:35):
kind of discussed apparently up top about why Snooky lashed
out at MTV Movie and TV Awards Nikki Glazes during
the unscripted filming. Yes, and I addressed that tonight on
E Nightly Pop as well. But I tried I talked
about at the top of the show. And then there
was another headline about me making fun of Ellen's Reign
of Terror comes to an end, because we did an
in memorium section of things that ended or things we

(42:57):
lost in reality TV, and it was a slideshow of
just like onceps and different people who Johanna's shoe from
Love is Blind, like different things, and it was Ellen's
Reign of Terror. I didn't even realize that was one
of the jokes. It was like the joke, my writer's
made it that joke and then now it's like, seems
like I like took a shot at Ellen, and so no,
I'm kind of skirt. It was interesting when I watched
it live and before it didn't that joked. I didn't

(43:22):
even remember that. Yeah, yeah, so you know, Reign of Terror. Yeah,
all these headlines are Ellen DeGeneres mocked during in memoriam
segment of MTV Movie and TV Ward Unscripted Ellen Degenders,
Reign of Terror brutally mocked, Ellen Degender is toxic work
workplace scandal mocked Fox News. It's like it's everywhere. How
do you feel when so I know she'll see that

(43:42):
if there's a negative headline about you, do you feel
like negative attention? Still attention? There's no way. There's no
such thing as bad press. Yeah, I mean I wouldn't
want that one though I don't. It's true, there isn't
such thing as bad press. I'll take any of it,
but I but actually I won't take any of it.
I do look at it like, okay, silver Lining are
talking about you. But I don't want Ellen to see
that I did that because she'll remember that. People go, oh,

(44:05):
these celebrities don't remember things, Yes they do. I talked
about it on Nless Culture, says yesterday that I made
a statement because I had already apologized for what I
said in the Miss Americana, a documentary about Taylor Swift.
But there's another incident that I had about where I
insulted Taylor Swift before Miss Americana, where I gave an
interview about dancing with the stars, and I said, I
am a bad dancer, but I think that I can
do this because I've seen Taylor Swift dance and she's

(44:25):
not a good dancer, and she still makes it look good.
But the truth is I hadn't seen Taylor Swift dance
when I said that line, and she's actually a really
good dancer if you watch her delicate video. And then
I said yesterday that, um and the thing is a
fan of mine went backstage at the Taylor Swift concert
and met her and said something about me, and then
they d m me and said, I brought you up
to Taylor Swift and she said, oh, is that that

(44:46):
girl that says I'm a bad dancer? And so I
know that Taylor Swift saw that, and it was just
the thing I did. And like so celebrities here when
you say the slightest thing, and I just want to say, Taylor,
you are not a bad dancer. I'm a bad dancer.
I watched Delicate all the time, and I'm like, holy shit,
that girl can dance. You did the splits on a
car in the rain, you were dancing on the hotel
front desk, like if you watched the Delicate video and

(45:07):
Taylor Swift can fucking dance. And so I was I
misspoke when I said that, and it's haunted me forever.
So it's really I'm so glad to get out in
front of that. Why do you think they they have
like these memories like an elephant. Do you think because
they hear so much positive It's like when we read
a negative comment, Yeah, if someone said I was a
bad dancer and that I would never forget that, I'd
just be like, oh, that's the world said as a
bad dancer. Well here's the thing. In a way, it's

(45:27):
a it's a compliment to you because if it's if
someone says something negative to you and you have like
no respect for them, it tends not to hit as
hard as obviously someone that you want to respect you
or that you want to say though even someone on
Twitter being like we saw you someone tweeted at me.
Some fucking troll tweeted at me with no picture and
like he only says Trump things on his feed. He

(45:50):
was like, you were the worst part of the show
on Friday night. You didn't even want to be there
because I made a joke I was running late because
I don't, like, I don't care about the show. I
like made a joke that like, sorry, guys, I was
running late tonight. It's a long story, but like, I
just don't care about the show. And it was a joke,
and I think this idiot thought that was really what
I was saying. And so he was like, you didn't
even care about being there, and of course you were

(46:11):
the worst part, and I'm like fuck you. So, um yeah,
I remember that verbatim, even though he was an idiot.
Let's get to Reddit dump, guys. This is where I
go through things that I've saved on Reddit to share
with you interesting stuff that I found late at night
on my Reddit searches. Okay, here's one that I really liked.
Um this is from the subreddit. Today, I learned the

(46:35):
iconic photo of the sailor kissing a nurse in Times
Square on v J Day was actually VJ day. Was
this a MTV search for VJs? Just so happened to
be the end of World War Two? Was the tall
guy's named Jesse Camp? Yes, Jesse Camp won that so
um that kind of quit a picture where he's in
Times Square he's kissing the girl. Um was actually a

(46:56):
non consensual kiss by a drunk sailor. The nurse was
a NTAL assistant named Gretta Friedman, who later said it
wasn't my choice to be kissed. The guy just came
over and and crisps kissed or grabbed. Um. She was
a woman that said she had just so like I
always think of that was like a like they were
a couple and you go alone out. How romantic. Someone

(47:17):
commented on it. Some rereditor commented, my stepgrandmother was New
York and New York on the state. She said she
was kissed a few times by sailors. It was chaotic.
She discarded it to me as the closest time she
was ever in a mob. Someone said, what's more is
no one really knows who the sailor was. There's been
some guys that have come forward throughout the years, but
they've never been conclusively proven to have been the one,
and then they said, then someone figured out the sailor

(47:38):
just it's just interesting. You see that and you're like
so romantic, but it's a girl that was just grabbed
and had a tongue from a drunken sailor shoved down
her throat. It's like, oh god, that was like And
then someone said, anyone looking at her body language can
see it as an assault. I felt sad that I
grew up seeing this photo as iconic representing the end
of the war, and only in the past few years
saw it for what it is, a woman being seized

(47:58):
and kissed by a stranger in a crowd out. I
read an article with her and she was like, it
wasn't a big deal, I don't care or whatever, and
so maybe she didn't care. But it is interesting when
when the actual person says it wasn't that big of
a deal, and then everyone's like, no, it is a
big deal. He took advantage of you, and she's like, yeah,
but you know, it wasn't not that bad of a kiss, blahbla,

(48:19):
you know what I mean. Like, but yeah, but context
obviously is huge here, Like we all like knowing the
actual story, whether it's a good thing or a bad thing. Yes,
she said, Uh, she isn't sure how long she was
standing there, maybe minutes, and then I was grabbed that man.
That man was very strong. I wasn't kissing him, he
was kissing me, she said, obviously to that day. Oh wait,

(48:40):
what did she say later? But oh sorry? It was
more of a jubilant act that he didn't have to
go back. I found out later he was so happy
that he did not have to go back to the Pacific,
where they already had been through the war. I felt
he was very strong. He was just holding me tight.
And I'm not sure I about the kiss, because you know,
it was just somebody really celebrating. But it wasn't a
romantic event. It was just an event of thank god
the war is over kind of thing. Because it was
right in front of the sign um. We both left.

(49:03):
We went on our way, and I found out later
that he and his fiance I think at the time
they were probably engaged already. They had come from Radio
City Music all they also heard that the war was over,
so they just left the show. What the funk? So
he was cheating on his fiance by grabbing this woman.
I mean, just these things you learned. This is this
kind of stuff on Reddit you learned where you're like,
oh wow, I didn't realize that. Let's get to the
next one. Um wait um someone d m us on

(49:25):
our Instagram uh and asked, if you're new to Reddit,
do you have any tips on how to get in
and find great question? Okay, So I would just go
to Reddit. I would pay attention to which ones I'm
telling you to go to. I'll give you the ones
to follow. So if you want to join Reddit, here
are some um subreddits that I recommend subscribing to. So
just make an account and they'll set you up where
they'll start with the homepage. This really comes with time.

(49:47):
They'll suggest ones to you. But subreddits are places you
can go where they're only posting about things you're interested in,
and literally they have a subpred for anything. Um. My
favorite porn subreddit is forced Orgasms. That's what I'm into,
So if you're into that, check that out. But that's
on my private subreddit where where um I look at
porn stuff. So I like, um, am I the asshole
is a great one. That's where people ask like, hey,

(50:08):
this happened to me, Am, I the asshole, and people
either say are the asshole A T A or N
t A not the asshole, and then the answer UM,
I go to I like, UM A normal day in Russia.
That's where crazy things are happening in Russia, and it's
like this is just normal Russia, but it's of insane
video taking place in Russia, kind of like Florida videos. UM.
Another one is wherever you live, you can do an

(50:29):
ask NYC or ask Los Angeles. It's just people in
the area asking about things happening in town. There's also
subreddits for every town that aren't asked. So subreddit are
slash Los Angeles are slash, um nyc uh better Every
loop is great? Those are Those are things like jifts
that run and every time you watch it it gets

(50:50):
better and better. There's more details and it really does.
It'll get taken down if it's actually not better every loop,
So those are really UM. I follow Bunyan's I follow
um cleaning tips uh Conan Conan being awesome. A crappy
design is funny. Those are just like bad things that
are poorly designed. Hilarious pictures cringe pis. Those are different

(51:12):
pictures of of you know, people making bad jokes or
like just being like friend zoned um decalf is a
whole subrett about getting off caffeine. That is enlightening to
learn how addictive caffeine is because people and they're talking
about like they're getting off heroin, which getting off caffeine
really is that hard. Female fashion advice that's where women
ask each other about fashion. Um guitar lessons. Girls Myron,

(51:33):
that's one of my favorite. Those are just when girls
are looking at someone and admiring the guy. There's j
low admiring. It's called m r I N. It's called Myron.
That's a little girl admiring that guy Myron. That girl's
Myron him. It's just when a girl is looking lovingly
at a guy. Myron. Uh Myron, Uh Myron. They're like
little girl can go oh. One of the best ones.

(51:55):
That's so disturbing you guys, if you're into like weird
things like me, I'm only in the g s by
the way, girl ols Myron was the last one. High
vegans is when I look at like people are just
show what they're eating when they're high and they're vegans,
just making like disgusting slop. Another one is um oh
last images. That's the craziest one because that's the last
photo taken before someone dies. It's a lot of times

(52:16):
people sharing like a picture of like an old woman's
hands by the bed, like this last picture of my grandma.
But it's a lot of stuff of like this was
the moment right before the helicopter crashed into that man
and it's like a blurry picture of him just like smiling.
It's fucking creepy. Um made me smile as good one.
That's just sweet stories that make you smile. Made me
cry as another one. Life hacks his great life pro tips,
murdered by words. That's when someone like like just decimates someone.

(52:40):
Let's get into final thought. I'll share a couple of
other ones. Uh, Sam Harris, science are sex? Sex is
a great one. They talk a lot about sex stuff.
Um uh, let me just make sure. Too afraid to
ask that's when people ask questions that like, I know
this is like maybe race questions. Like I'm saying, let's
let's see an example of a too afraid to ask
what someone said? This isn't what I saved? But is

(53:02):
it weird to want a body pillow? That's what someone asked,
does anyone else get unreasonably agitated when someone else enters
the kitchen when they're already in there? Is it okay
to do a small amount of exercise each day? If
I want to start with exercise, that's not a good one. Um.
So I just asked, like awkward questions that you're scared
to ask anyone, you can do it? Um, it's just great. Um.
And then ask credit is always one of my favorites

(53:23):
where people ask questions and people answer it. Obviously, I
follow Taylor Swift today I learned too afraid to ask,
so that true off my chest. That's where people and
of course wards, I'm always following words what the funk?
WTF is great one. It's just disturbing videos and sometimes
they're you know, you have a nice balance of something
that's going to make you upset and then make you happy. Yes, um, okay,

(53:45):
here's one that I found. Guy dies, woman stairs lovingly
at man. Yeah. It's like really sweet stuff and also
disturbing stuff for sure. And then, um, the one I
wanted to share. The last thing I'll share is like
this was in made me smile Okay the subreddit. This
was posted by No No e Landy spell wombats are wholesome,

(54:07):
as the title, and then it's a tweet from a
person named riff Raff Richard A. O B. On Twitter
and it says a lot of these are screenshots of tweets.
It says apparently wombats in fire affected areas are not
only allowing other animals to take shelter in their deep
fire resistant burrows, but they are actively hurting fleeing animal
animals into them. We're seeing more leadership and empathy from

(54:28):
these guys than the entire federal government. Now this is
in Australia. I'm guessing wombats. How everyone. I want you
to picture what you think of wombat? Is the size
of a wombat right now? In your head? Now answer
to yourself. I'm gonna give you a little time. Just
think about it for a second. If your life was
writing on it. How big do you think a wombat is?
If you're holding it in your arms all right now?
I want you to go to our Instagram story and look,

(54:51):
or just go to our Instagram. We'll posts the main one.
Can we post this picture of a wombat? Or maybe
on our story it'll be up somewhere. The pick a
wombat is actually how big is it? Andrew? How big
is that wan back? I mean that's got to be
eighty pounds. It's the size of a ottoman, not an ottoman,
Like what are the things that you put your feet

(55:12):
on in front of a ye ottoman? It is. It's
bigger than an ottoman. It's giant. It's the size of
a panda. You hear bat so you think smaller. You
can not hold a wombat with one hand you need
it's a tiny grizzly bear. They're gigantic. And that's such
a beautiful story though, that they cute that they help.
Like I just imagined them all down there in their

(55:34):
little hole and being like, hey man, thanks, thanks for
helping me out. I couldn't bury this myself. He's like,
no problem, you duck. Like thanks. It reminds me of
like imagine if the hedgehog was like, hey, lo, I'm
gonna come on down. It's cool you like my friends.
If this picture is maybe just a gigantic wombat, and
maybe if they're not actually that big, like I feel

(55:54):
like that's the biggest wombat on earth, Like maybe it's
one of those squashes that people grow for state fairs.
What are they? Okay? They the length is three and
a half feet. Dude, these things are huge. Seventy up
to seventy seven pounds. That is huge. They're so big.
What is their deal? They're like little bears? What do
they eat? Look at that? That's I think. Wombats are

(56:15):
my new favorite animal. What's your favorite animal? I Now,
I'm not kidding you. Everyone's new favorite animal should be
a wombat. I might get a oh, look at they
look like picks kind of they have like a pigs Now, yeah,
that was the one I just showed him. Oh did
They're so cute? I love wombats are. What are your
favorite animals? Like? Yeah, like what there's this different kind

(56:39):
of animal. There's like an animal I respect and admire
from from Afar and then an animal I'd like to
like play with and like roll around with. Like, what's
the one that you're just like if I could see
it in the wild and interact with it, what would
be I mean? When I was a kid, the white
tiger for some reason, really like I was obsessed with,
really obsessed with. Yeah, yeah, I just loved it. And
I love the killer whale. When I was a kid

(57:01):
and then I love a sloth on the opposite end
of the spectrum. I just love something that's just chill
as fuck. Yeah, that just ships every once every time.
I love sloths have moss growing on them because they
move so slow. That is so cool to me. Um.
And I love when a sloth is getting across the
road and just like, did you ever see the videos
where he has to swim across the water because he

(57:22):
hears a mating call and he goes and he goes
on this long voyage and he gets there and the
girl already has another sloth there, and it's like a
guy like it would be like if me traveling by
foot to Yeah, um, okay, I just gotta I just
got a RYO notification and I talked to you about
it before that I matched with someone on Riot today

(57:43):
that I was like excited. So I just got an ovocation.
But you just see who it was and what's going on?
Yeah wait, no, nothing, nothing lock, nothing happened. Oh someone
wrote to me. A guy that I matched with before
wrote to me, when will you be back in New York.
I thought it was going to be the new guy
I matched it. It's just an old match that I
was ignoring already and the answer is never. I don't

(58:04):
think that will be back in New York for so long,
expecting something else. I know. Well, maybe I'll write to
me um. I my favorite animal is a whale, but
specific um the whale shark, which is actually not a whale.
It is a fish. It's a giant fish. And I
got to swim with them in Cabo and they're gentle

(58:25):
and they're gigantic and they're just so sweet and soft
and I got Yeah, swimming with them in Cabo like
made me cry. It was so amazing. Can I answer
a question? Why is it called a whale? Like? Was it?
Did people think of a whale? At first? It looks
like a whale, but it is a shark. But it's
not a shark that will hurt you. And sharks are
fish fishing. No, I know, but don't you think it's

(58:45):
just funny that they put two creatures together. Yeah, I mean,
I guess the seahorse whale sharks are just beautiful and
that they're just so you swam with it. No, No,
because I know so much about them. I've literally been
obsessed with them since I was a kid. I used
to get books from the library and I wouldn't look
at the book until I got home because I was like,
I have to save it. It's like my it's like
coming or like eating, Like I have to earn to

(59:07):
look at these whale sharks. I was so excited. And
the blue whale, of course is my favorite because it's
just so big. And the sperm whale is pretty cool.
Did you ever see a sperm whales penis come out
of water? Speaking of penises, no, it is insanity can
for Nikki. This could be a last funny thing to
walk And I want to ask you about the greenland
shark too. That's also maybe one of my favorite things. Okay,

(59:28):
let me see the penis. Oh my god, Andrew, that's
gonna make a whale moan. No, wait, look at it
coming out like that. There's a guy holding one. It
looks like he's holding a dead wombat. That thing is huge.
It looks like a carrot. And I don't even think
that's the whole thing. That's a whale penis, a stuffed
whale penis for six thousand dollars. No, the one coming

(59:49):
out that one, it looks like a tongue. It looks
like me that's wild. Okay, the greenland shark. This is
gonna blow people's minds. If you don't know this, How
old do you think? Don't don't look it up? No,
because I want you to guess. How old do you
think greenland sharks? The longest known lifestan of a vertebrate
species is the greenland shark. Uh. And it's the largest

(01:00:11):
extant species. I don't know what extent means. Um, how
old do you think greenland shark is can live up to?
I know it's a lot. I'm gonna go with seven
fifty years for an animal, for an animal, for a
swimming animal that's swim No, I'll say thirty five years

(01:00:34):
for it's the oldest living animal. That's the animal on
the So we are we're animals too, So that would
that would make it they live longer than us. I'll
give you that. And they live longer than Galapagos tortoises,
which are around hundred and something. Okay, I didn't hear
that detail. So it's the old it's the oldest animal
to two hundred to five hundred years old. Wait, no,

(01:00:56):
three five hundred years old? Is these things? Can you
believe there a creature swimming that is between three hundred
and five hundred years old. That blew my mind. These
things are old as they've been around longer than anything
else on the planet that isn't a I mean think
I think trees and like fun guy and microbials can
live that long. But that's crazy. I mean, it's crazy

(01:01:18):
that one was like born today and then there's like
respect your elders, who's four years Like yeah, I saw,
I mean, what's four The fact that we could kill
a greenland shark is insane, like we could hurt something
that has been around that long, and but I want
to I want to kill one so bad. By guys,
Oh my god, you tomorrow