#342 Self Critique, Private Parts, Hug Technology, Tech Neck & Butt Surgery

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
The nick Akliser Podcast, Nikkleasers, Nikki.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
Hello here, I am welcome to the show. It's Nicki
Glaser Podcast. Hello. How hell are you? Hello? Hello? Hello?
Great start. I'm on a roll. That's kind of good.
I can do it all.

Speaker 3 (00:24):
I know.

Speaker 2 (00:24):
I'm getting there. It's been like five years of trying. Anya.
What is it like for you to hear your song
when we start the show, Because for me, when I
go into radio stations and they'll like play my intro
and it'll be like me doing a roast clip, I
always have to go len no, no, I have to
sound like you. I go len no no. I plug
my ears and I go, hey, I don't want to
hear it. Yes, yes, I can watch myself on mute.

(00:47):
I cannot watch myself with my voice coming out. It's
so ironic, because thank you, dear listener for appreciating this
thing that I cannot. I expect people to consume. It
is the reason I have any kind of living in
this business. Yet I cannot tolerate it. And now I'm
being open about it. I am not telling people to

(01:07):
watch things with me or I can't wait for you
to see this thing because I'm gonna watch it. I'm
not watching anything I do, but I because I lived it,
but I do want you to watch it. I remember
Kate Beckhasale on The Tonight Show saying she never watches
any of her movies, and I was almost like offended,
like how should we watch it then? But I get
it now and I just want to be honest. I'm
never gonna watch anything I do. How do you feel

(01:27):
about listening to your own voice?

Speaker 1 (01:29):
I think when you are gonna record your first like, well,
you already put a song out, but when you eventually
record an album, you will feel differently to it. When
I watched myself on your E show, I was like,
la la la, Like it's weird to watch myself moving
around in space as a person, but hearing my song

(01:49):
is like I can't believe this is me. I can't
believe I get to be on her show. That's so cool, right,
It's like that.

Speaker 2 (01:55):
Okay? Plus, I WoT a podcast and you listen to
yourself on a podcast where you're just talking and not
avoid is it because you're like I'm gonna say something
stupid or I don't like the sound of my own
talking voices. Speaking voice different than singing voice.

Speaker 1 (02:09):
It's probably harder to like accept yourself just being unfiltered
and who you are, and a recording is something you
worked on tirelessly approved many mixes of you know what
I mean?

Speaker 2 (02:20):
Yes, when you watch.

Speaker 1 (02:21):
Your HBO sksheal are you a little?

Speaker 2 (02:24):
When more halting really hell the entire time? There comes
a point where it's just so much that you don't
even notice it anymore, and you kind of start to go, oh,
I see what people might like about this, or I
think I think I hurt. Sometimes I see a clip
of mine and I'm like, oh, that was great, And
it's because at first I think it's not me. I'm like,

(02:46):
who's this girl? You know, there's this moment you know,
where you cut your own reflection in something and you
go who's Oh my god, she's cute, and then you
see yourself you realize it's you, and you go discuss.

Speaker 1 (02:54):
Have you ever had that though where you're like, wow,
I look amazing in that?

Speaker 2 (02:58):
Like yeah, I mean there's always been times where you're
like God, and but I just go it was good lighting,
it was a good angle. It was one of a
thousand shots, you know, like it's I never really give
myself credit for it, which you shouldn't give yourself credit
because beauty is either money or genetics, which two things
you really don't have any control over having.

Speaker 3 (03:18):
Can I just say, you're, uh, you're I don't want
to hear myself noise is very pleasant, you're no. No.

Speaker 4 (03:26):
Yeah, it's like because a lot of people will go like, bla, bla,
shut the fuck up.

Speaker 2 (03:32):
Mind's gentle. It's assuming a little bite because I don't
want people to know that I'm doing that. You know what,
I'm in a radio station. It's embarrassing that they're playing
a clip and I just go no, no, no, no, Like
I don't want them to know that this is something
I can't do because it seems so immature of me.
I'm ashamed that I can't listen to my own voice,
even though I'm trying to be more out about it.
But I do record myself playing music all the time

(03:55):
when I'm practicing. Not the whole time. I it would
just be too much. But I like to record because
I can't, you know, and I'm not always on Instagram
live like practicing in front of people watching. So sometimes
I'll record it because it makes me accountable to I
don't know what someone who might find my phone after
I die, like there's going to be evidence of it.

(04:17):
So it makes me sit up straighter, It makes me
try harder, it makes me focus a little bit more.
And so I have a bunch of those recordings of myself,
and I can listen to myself sing and be really
disappointed in it. I mean I I can hear stuff
that is unforgivable sounds I make that I just go,
what are you even doing? For some reason, it's I
can forgive it and I go and I can keep

(04:39):
doing it. For some reason, I don't get as discouraged
at how badly I sing, But when I'm watching stuff
of me talking, I just can't stop thinking, why did
you say so much? Why couldn't you think of a
more creative word? Why did you use that word twice
in a sentence when it was like a you know,
what are they called? Like thousand dollars words? And I'll

(05:00):
use it twice, which negates me even using it once
because people know that I got today calendar. Yeah, And
then I use it twice and it's like, oh, that's
the only words she knows for that thing. And that's
so often I just see these like little chinks in
the armor of my coolness where I'm like, you're not
that cool, You're not that interesting. I can just see

(05:20):
through it so much, and I become so just I've
become very very critical, so I can't even I mean,
we're putting up a lot more clips on our podcast,
and I'm just umb which I'm grateful, No, I'm so
grateful for because a lot of times the podcast, I'm
just like, that's a really authentic version of me. I'm
not trying to be that impressive. So then I cut

(05:40):
myself some slack where I'm more comfortable, and I'm yeah,
for some reason, it doesn't bother me as much. My
you know, my face falling off my skull, however, is
depressing every single time. And then I compare myself to
the Chicks in the Office and their clips where it
looks like her. Chicks in the Office is a pod
casts that for some reason, every morning I was showing

(06:03):
for office. No, No, my god, i'd cooler conversation happening.

Speaker 1 (06:09):
I'm missing out.

Speaker 3 (06:10):
No.

Speaker 2 (06:10):
Chicks in the Office is a podcast I follow, and
they just have like they're just some smart, cool girls
in their twenties who are just you know, who I
probably would have wanted to be in my twenties and
who I'm more like now. I just relate to them,
and I like what they talk about, and I like,
I just like them. But every day I wake up
to a clip of them looking beautiful and cool and
saying cool things and not stuttering too much and not

(06:34):
looking stupid and it and they look perfect. Yeah, And
I'm just and I send Noah a clip every day
being like, we should try this angle? What about this
kind of lighting?

Speaker 4 (06:43):
Like some And it's.

Speaker 2 (06:44):
Like, bitch, you're almost forty, like you, we don't a
time machine. If you did your podcast in one of those,
it might change the way your face looks. But other
than that, I think I gotta go Jenny McCarthy and
just start wearing sunglasses every fucking time. That's the way
it or some people only Yeah, I mean Kendle Roy.

Speaker 4 (07:04):
Yeah, well that's what I'm trying to do. I just
hope I live longer.

Speaker 2 (07:07):
But that's a nice one. Where did you get that?

Speaker 1 (07:10):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (07:11):
What, what's that store in the mall that everyone gets
hats from lids from lids?

Speaker 1 (07:15):
Nice?

Speaker 4 (07:16):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (07:16):
I like it because it's pretty big and it has
nothing on it. And my head isn't very good for
hats because it goes like it does like.

Speaker 2 (07:24):
This, You're like a guitar pick.

Speaker 4 (07:26):
I'm like a guitar pick.

Speaker 2 (07:27):
Sorry, I'm very focused on guitar picks recently.

Speaker 4 (07:30):
Yes, I need to have. I think it's a little bigger.

Speaker 2 (07:33):
That's what I'm seeing everywhere. It's the backpack syndrome. You're
looking for a backpack. You see it everywhere. Yes, I've
been obsessed with guitar picks. I see, that's what your
head is, and it's pretty apropos.

Speaker 3 (07:42):
I have shaved my beard in like over ten years.
I don't even know what I look like what my
wife has never live I trim it, sure, I trimmed
with a little.

Speaker 2 (07:52):
I was gonna say it'd be so it just decided
to stop at that length.

Speaker 4 (07:55):
It stopped.

Speaker 3 (07:56):
Every morning I get up and I yell at it,
and I say, don't get any longer, and it actually
but no, I haven't ever had a clean shaven face.
My wife has never seen me without a beard, and
so it's uh, I think my I don't have a
very well defined chin.

Speaker 2 (08:11):
So it gives you one. Well, that's the classic that's
the beard thing. Men of not good chins like to
grow beards.

Speaker 4 (08:17):
It is real.

Speaker 1 (08:18):
Jarring to see.

Speaker 2 (08:21):
Yeah, you just see like a soft face.

Speaker 1 (08:23):
And you're just like, oh you have I didn't know you.

Speaker 2 (08:26):
You're like he I can't say.

Speaker 1 (08:30):
But it's just like a different person a little bit. Yeah,
I like it, but it is different. It is just
it's just like.

Speaker 2 (08:38):
Who's this guy? I'm like nervous around, like, you know,
is my boyfriend okay with this?

Speaker 1 (08:44):
Like yeah, he feel the same way when I shave
my puss, So he's like, who's this gal?

Speaker 4 (08:53):
Little girl?

Speaker 1 (08:54):
You go into a can do guardian? Sorry, yeah, I
guess that is the thing.

Speaker 2 (09:01):
I mean. You guys notice hair length down there? You must?

Speaker 4 (09:07):
Sure, yeah, yeah, it depends on the situation.

Speaker 2 (09:09):
But sometimes I'm just a little too lazy and I
don't get all the all the nooks and crans, and
its like you just don't get all those spaces and
there's little tufts that come out.

Speaker 4 (09:20):
Do you notice when when it's shaved?

Speaker 2 (09:23):
No, No, I don't. I don't think I do.

Speaker 4 (09:26):
If a guy's got a big hairy bush, is that like.

Speaker 2 (09:29):
Yes, I haven't really encountered that, so yeah, probably, But
I mean, I don't know, if you love someone, you
can kind of put up with whatever they got going
on down there?

Speaker 1 (09:38):
Sure?

Speaker 2 (09:38):
Sure in any respect of that.

Speaker 3 (09:42):
Well, I know that some men will say, like, I
like a big bush. Is that any women like a
big bush?

Speaker 1 (09:50):
No?

Speaker 2 (09:51):
No, I like, but some women, like I would compare
it to chest hair. Some women are so into chest hair,
and some women are like, I'd rather not my not
have him have chest hair. I don't mind, Like hairy's
shoulders are like a hairy back, like I wouldn't Chris
doesn't have those things, but that wouldn't bother me.

Speaker 1 (10:09):
I'm not crazy about full bald.

Speaker 4 (10:13):
A full bald chest or head?

Speaker 1 (10:15):
Uh neither.

Speaker 2 (10:17):
No, you're talking about balls. Who would ever do nothing
down there clean?

Speaker 1 (10:24):
I mean, don't guys sometimes go.

Speaker 5 (10:26):
Full and porn?

Speaker 2 (10:27):
You're right, porn has no I kind of like that.
It doesn't ever stand out to me in porn, so
I must have enjoy it.

Speaker 1 (10:35):
Yeah, Is it bad that I'm thinking about Glob right now?
I'm like, I wonder if Globy nobody's so hairless. Yeah,
but I watched it because he posted the other day
and he had like some hair on his forearms, and
I even.

Speaker 2 (10:48):
Took a Slubjko, my Dancing with the Stars partner.

Speaker 1 (10:52):
He is like one of the prettiest men I've ever seen.
Nikki Wargeous. Before we met him in person, I was
like no, And then I met him, I was like,
oh my god, it's insane.

Speaker 2 (11:03):
It's just one of those things I heard about that
about who. There was someone talking about running into a
celebrity and Sophia Vugatta. I said, she's otherworldly. It just
can't it's not it doesn't make sense. It will disrupt
your equilibrium as a human being to just be in
the presence of it.

Speaker 1 (11:21):
That's how I felt when I met Salma Hayek.

Speaker 2 (11:24):
Oh, yeah, I bet.

Speaker 1 (11:26):
She was like five feet tall. She was shorter than
me and I'm five two or five to three. She
had the tiniest waist. This was in like two thousand
or something, and it was like, how does someone like
this shape exist?

Speaker 2 (11:39):
Did you meet her at a radio station?

Speaker 1 (11:40):
I was with a friend at the Tonight show and
she was backstage and.

Speaker 2 (11:45):
Just what my friend was doing the Tonight show?

Speaker 1 (11:47):
Uh, somebody in a band they were playing with. Uh,
oh jewel.

Speaker 2 (11:52):
She just walked by.

Speaker 1 (11:53):
Yeah, she walked by and it was just like, that
is not a normal human being.

Speaker 2 (11:57):
Speaking of Salma Jyak, we were talking on The Girls
Chow yesterday about the revelation that you're not supposed to
wash your face in the morning after waking up, and
no one took this is just starting to take flight
with women. I think women are just learning about this
because I just learned about it two weeks ago because
I saw how Massiak talking about how she never washes

(12:19):
her face, like that's the secret to her beauty. Yeah, right,
that she never washes her face in the morning. And
I was like, oh great, I just I'm one less
thing to do. But my pillows are dirty, so I
should probably do it. Like I drool on them, I
don't wash them enough. I just I just don't. They're gross,
and so I probably should wash my face in the morning.
But then yesterday Kirsten said, yeah, my facialists said I

(12:43):
shouldn't wash my face in the morning. No one told me.
And then Annia's like, oh, yeah, facialist told me that
twenty years ago. And I'm like, why didn't you share
that with me? You lived with me, you saw me
washing my face in the morning. Never once did you
go you know me to do that.

Speaker 4 (12:56):
I wasn't like.

Speaker 1 (12:58):
Tiny bathroom staring at you wash your face?

Speaker 2 (13:01):
I mean, but like these are things women should share
with each other. Like, no, if everyone knows that, how
did I that not get to me at some point?
Why I have to see a TikTok of sama hi?

Speaker 1 (13:11):
I felt the same way when I first heard. I
was like, also, why didn't I think of that? I'm
putting forty dollars worth of moisturizer on my face at night?
Why am I washing it all off? It kind of
makes sense. My lady told me use some warm water,
but really just around your eyes, because you want to
keep all those oils on.

Speaker 3 (13:27):
I was like, it's the one are you showering? Are
you showering at night? Or because then if you're washing
your face, do you shower it later?

Speaker 1 (13:34):
We're really saying, don't use soap on your don't use
cleanser on your face, like you know what I mean?
You could shower oil, but just don't.

Speaker 3 (13:42):
Strip shower and avoid your face. Kind of like how
you shouldn't wash your hair every day?

Speaker 2 (13:47):
Yeah, oh yes, kind of like that. Yeah, I think so.
But it's just like it's one of these things that.
I'm like, how did I not know this? How have I?
But then Kirsten's like, I'm gonna save on product, and
I go, I'm not because in tandem with learning that
I don't need to wash my face in the morning,
I learned that you need to double wash at night,
so same amount of product they get you somewhere and

(14:09):
you can never win. I'm always treading water.

Speaker 1 (14:12):
Why did you keep that from me?

Speaker 2 (14:13):
Because I just learned it two weeks ago? Double washing?
Because it But I bet you anything you wash enough
the first time because you're like a slow, efficient person
and like you get things done, whereas I'm just like
wash like I just wash really hard, really fast, and
then wash it off. Here's another fucking mind blowing thing. Okay,

(14:35):
So the other day I was at Chris's and I
wonder if I can say what happened? I think I can. Okay,
So were we met up to go to get coffee
at his and do some work right next to his apartment.
He doesn't have a car right now, so he just
walked over met me. I'm like, oh, let's go watch
Succession at your house after this. So I drive my car,
which is a block away from at the Starbucks to

(14:58):
his house. I'm driving and I see him walking in
the alley like back, and I'm I just pulled up
next to him and I'm like, sir, do you know
where I can get any cock around here? I'm just
so hungry for some calm and I don't know where
to get any And he's like, well, there's like a
I think there's there's probably like a you can go
to Whole Foods down there. There's people working there, like

(15:19):
he was just sending me and I go, but sir,
I need it now. Like I was just trying to
be like I was trying to be sexy, but like
also make him laugh because I was just like and
he just kept avoiding it, like being funny and sending
me elsewhere. I'm like, but I think I want yours,
And I was like, please, sir, please. He eventually was like, okay,
park over there, you can come in, and I'm like, thanks, sir.

(15:43):
And but as soon as I went in, I was like,
can I shower first, like before we do anything, because
I just I didn't wasn't planning on having relations that
day and or at that time, I guess, And so
I went in the shower and it was really as
quick as all my showers are. And I was like,
you got good soap and I like that stuff. And
I go, I'm so fast and he was. I was like,

(16:03):
I think and I definitely got it all. And I
smell and I was like, no, I didn't. I still smell,
and he's like, yeah, you really got to get in there.
I go, what I have been just scrubbing like kind
of like runner. That's like that little sound is how
each pit I spent runner my ram murh near my
ram right mur. It is not enough to tick a.

(16:27):
You gotta really go hard. And I was like, this
is so insane to me. I cannot believe. I put
a lot of soap in my hand and went right
name R in my crotch in all the spaces and
it's still I still had body odor and it wasn't
like my natural scent. It was like stink, you know,
And it was still there. And I was like, whoa,
I have not been doing this enough, Like I don't

(16:50):
scrub my body enough. And it brought me back to
one time on Not Safe my show where Brian worked,
and I remember one time Benji remember benj of course
Benji Aflalo. He was one of my writers, and he
was talking about he had a really hot girlfriend at
the time, and he was telling us about her like
skincare regimen and like how she puts like oils on
her body and then does a scrub and does dry
brushing and like the tedious steps that it took to

(17:13):
be a hot girl. I mean, she was like one
of this, like most beautiful girls with perfect caramel skin
and like just glowy young. But he said that she
has this whole regimen and she like loves doing it,
and it just made me like furious, because I hate
doing anything girly like that, and it makes me feel
like less of a woman all those things. And I go, God,
I only scrub my pits and my crotch and then

(17:36):
that's it. I don't scrub any other place. I just
let the water get to it and like shampoo run down.
Like I would never wash my arm skin unless it
had like actual dirt on it, you know, like that
I could see I would never like do a I
would never and he goes, I just I remember it,
so while he goes, well, maybe you should try sometime.

(17:57):
The way he said it made me realize he smelled before,
like I just knew it, like, oh fuck, And I
his voice has started coming into my showers when I
start doing my just like three point wash, and I go,
I hear Benji go, well maybe you should try it sometime.
And then it was confirmed the other day when I
smelled my pits it didn't and Chris was like, yeah,
you gotta like really get in there. So recently I've

(18:18):
been doing a lot more scrubbing to get at it.
But that is so annoying that it can't just be enough.
What before soap, what did we have nothing? People just stink,
Like now we have to always smell perfectly pristine, no
body odor.

Speaker 4 (18:33):
It kind of got to wash ass. You know that
Red Fox album. You got to wash ass?

Speaker 2 (18:40):
Yeah, I guess that it was a problem back then.
You you must wash your ass. But I'm just not
now I'm scrubbing enough. But this only happened a week ago.

Speaker 3 (18:47):
Back in Caveman times, before toilet paper, people used rocks
to wipe their ass.

Speaker 4 (18:53):
Rocks.

Speaker 2 (18:54):
That makes sense, you know what, Oh, this is a
huge hack. If you ever have a snag nail that
like is just like catching on things and you know
your nail kind of breaks and it has like a
dividend and you need you need a file so bad,
or you need a clipper, and no one around you
has one. Any kind of brick wall or like any
kind of buildings, you just scrape your finger along the

(19:17):
side and it's perfectly filed down. That was a major
turning point in my life, because there's nothing more annoying
than having it, and it keeps getting caught on little hairs.

Speaker 4 (19:26):
Yeah, when you like push. Oh god.

Speaker 1 (19:28):
I had my mind blown last year and felt very
betrayed by my fellow woman when I was just casually
mentioning that I don't know, I don't use soap like
in my vagina, and everyone's like, huh, weird, And I'm like,
you guys use soap in your veag?

Speaker 2 (19:44):
Oh for sure? Oh my god. It was in the
hole in the hole. Wait in the hole? What do
you I mean? What hole are we talk like? I
don't go all the way up like where a tampon lives,
Like okay, I don't like, I don't like finger.

Speaker 1 (19:56):
Myself like like soap.

Speaker 2 (19:59):
Yes, yeah, I go it. I do it like I'm like,
you know, just like rooting around. No, no, it doesn't hurt.

Speaker 1 (20:07):
I don't know. I mean it hurt when I was.

Speaker 2 (20:09):
You just use water than how you get in the
stink out if there's no soap.

Speaker 1 (20:12):
I don't have a stink. I just really shave the
sides with soap. I scrub the sides. I'm not gonna
put soap in, like imagine putting soap in your dick,
hold Brian, and then you wash it out.

Speaker 2 (20:23):
But why wouldn't it hurt.

Speaker 4 (20:27):
Inside of my dick? Do you really I have a
little straw cleaner.

Speaker 2 (20:34):
Wait, Noah, do you use soap before we take a break? Actually,
you know what tell us when we get back from break.
Does Noah use soap in her vagina hole? Which not
up in the hole. My point is you wash it
off afterwards, so there's no residue of soap. It's a
clean slate. But I guess you're kind of erasing the
oils and natural pH balance. We'll find out about Noah's
hygiene habits after this. All right, Noah, we've all been waiting.

(21:00):
We had to listen to a better help ad to
get to this point, and we're gonna we're gonna need
better help after you reveal, what do you do down there.

Speaker 5 (21:09):
If I don't you.

Speaker 6 (21:10):
Soap inside the flaps and stuff, I wanna get stinky.

Speaker 2 (21:16):
Yes, I had soap.

Speaker 6 (21:17):
I think as I've gotten older an my smell has
gotten worse.

Speaker 1 (21:22):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (21:23):
Yeah, like I have to do a double wash on
pits and then you.

Speaker 3 (21:28):
Don't wash it in the morning, just like what about
don't you just put the orderant on after and then
the stink is covered up.

Speaker 2 (21:34):
On your pits on your pits, Yeah, but it's like
putting you know, it's like spring for breeze when a
dog shit on the carpet, Like it's covering up the smell.
The smell is still there.

Speaker 1 (21:43):
Yeah, I don't think anything's wrong with I mean, that's
fine if other people do it, but I I do
think it strips the oils or like you're like a
vagina is a naturally cleaning thing. Everything's clear clean around it.
I definitely get way.

Speaker 2 (21:59):
Out of everyone. I know, you have more vagina issues
than anyone. I ton't know.

Speaker 1 (22:04):
I don't it's because of perimenopause. Thanks for bringing that up,
But I mean, like.

Speaker 2 (22:10):
You'll just have like I just feel it's not even
like you have Like I'm not saying that you have
disgusting things happening down there. You just are like it
feels off.

Speaker 1 (22:16):
No, but that's just because I'm in HSP twenty five.

Speaker 2 (22:20):
That's a good point. Yeah, you are at HSP twenty five,
which is a highly sensitive person. She scored a twenty five,
and I think I scored like a negative three.

Speaker 1 (22:30):
I had for the listener that thinks that I have
insane vaginal issues. I did have recurrent UTIs between twenty
nineteen and twenty twenty because I was all of a sudden,
you know, in a new relationship and having a lot
of sex, plus going through perimenopause, and you know, the
tissue gets a little bit less supple than when you're

(22:50):
like in your twenties. So I figured it out. If
anybody wants a tip, DM me and everything's fine now,
So I don't. Can you tell us now what the
you know what it is? It's my hormone cream.

Speaker 2 (23:03):
Yeah, but where do we get it?

Speaker 1 (23:04):
I got it from my naturopath. It's just a compound cream.
And thanks, but no thanks to my western obgyn who
prescribed seven rounds of antibiotics which didn't do shit.

Speaker 3 (23:16):
She sucked up your stomach. Probably that manyibiotics.

Speaker 1 (23:19):
I mean it cures it for like a week, and
then they recur because the problem is like your tissue
isn't as supple and then you but then my naturopath
is like, just use this acidophlus, a cream with light
hormones and it totally fixed things.

Speaker 2 (23:32):
Well, if you're daming, will you give us the name
of your naturopath? If we DM you like.

Speaker 1 (23:37):
What's oh okay, she's busy forever, but she's gonna get acause.

Speaker 2 (23:44):
The shit happening on like down there.

Speaker 1 (23:47):
Get a comment she is.

Speaker 2 (23:49):
It's just starting to Like I always heard Joan Rivers
talk about how she looks down in her vagina now
when she's when she was like seventy, I think she
was doing this bet and she's like when did I
put on bunny slippers? Like it's falling down and that's natural.
Like do you find your vagina is like falling off
kind of like getting like long, like not like some

(24:11):
days it's like wow, high and tight, you look great.
It's like sometimes with my face, I'm like, wow, your
face looks like really structured and it doesn't feel like
it's like saggy and baggy. And then other days my
vagina looks like it's slept on its face. Do you
know what I mean, Like it has a sleep mask
mark on it.

Speaker 1 (24:26):
I mean gra it exists, It's true, but I gra
that you can do little exercises like for sure Ilaria
Baldwin is.

Speaker 2 (24:33):
Like doing some kind of No, this is inner stuff,
this is outer like outer things.

Speaker 6 (24:39):
Yeah, I was gonna say it corresponds with my face,
Like I've been noticing that my face is getting lower,
and so is my vagina.

Speaker 2 (24:46):
Yes, it's so your face like just like the skin
on your face just starts to droop off a little bit.
Do you ever think that if we live our lives
get side down? How great? Are Yes, It's totally exactly
what it is. It's like your gram lost jowls. That's
what the sides are on my vagina, Like the it's
happening because but some days like it looks fine. So

(25:08):
it's like, but I do see why women get lyfts
down there to like make it all look like not
tight like because I think the hole stays the same,
Like I don't feel that getting like looser or anything.
I think it's if anything, sex has been like painful
for me recently, where I'm like, like, it's it's not painful,
but it's just it kind of is painful where it's like, oh,

(25:29):
that's what.

Speaker 1 (25:29):
I'm talking about, because it's not.

Speaker 2 (25:32):
Because it's like it's because it's like it pokes me inside,
like it's hitting.

Speaker 1 (25:39):
So at different times, drop it, damn it. No, at
different times you recycle, your cervix is like really high
at one point and then it's lower. I believe when
you're the most fertile, it like lowers down to be
like gimme, gimme, gimme that stuff. So that's why I
never knew this, Like why is it sometimes poking?

Speaker 4 (25:59):
And of course like a turtle's head.

Speaker 1 (26:01):
Yes, it is exactly like a turtle's head.

Speaker 2 (26:05):
Wait the vagina, Oh it is, I think.

Speaker 1 (26:14):
So it's like a little know this. I read this
book that changed everything. It was called something like Taking
Control of Your Fertility, And I was so angry when
I finished because I'm like, no one ever taught me
any of this stuff. Like when you're growing up, you're like,
why do I have all this discharge? Gross? I'm gross.
It's like, no, this discharge corresponds with your cycle.

Speaker 2 (26:33):
Oh my god. The day the discharge started happening was
so disturbing, and thank god I always had good girlfriends
that I could be honest with stuff like I really
I've always been this way and as open about my
like things going on in my body. I've never had
to have secrets that I carry with me forever because
I've been lucky enough to have Kursten Florman, who I

(26:55):
met in fourth grade, who I never like, you know,
I think a lot of girls like struggle with like
I'm bleeding down there, like what does it mean? Or
like there's weird things. I never had that because I
always had a friend who I could tell it to.
I wouldn't tell my mom, I wouldn't tell my sister,
I wouldn't tell anyone else but Kirstin. I remember I
confided in her that there was like there would be
like jelly type stuff like in my underwear and it

(27:19):
would like come out, and we nicknamed it Gelatine, and
so we'd be like, are you Jelin today? And we
literally were doing the shoal doctor schulz ad campaign decades
before it hit the market, because we would say like,
I'm so Gelin today. And I remember we went to
go see Pleasantville and we both I think that was
the day when we both acknowledge that we have gelatine,

(27:40):
and then it felt cool and like I was sharing
it with someone. Kirsten was also someone. I didn't get
my period until very late, and I didn't think I
had a hole to put a tampon in because I
could not find my vagina hole for the life of me.
And Kirsten looked up my vagina and showed me where
the hole was now with her fingers or anything, but
like she kind of pointed at it and I was
like holding it open, being like where, and she was

(28:02):
like there, and I was like, oh, it looked a
lots smaller than I pictured it being because tampon's are like,
it's not as big as a tampon right, like it
kind of cinches. And it turned out there was my asshole.
So it was a confusing few years before I opened
up the tampax and her constipated for quite a while
with that dampon. Speak of being HSP negative thirteen, I

(28:27):
have no idea. I am not connected to my body
at all, and that's why it's good. I'm going to
the somatic therapist or whatever to start like navigating what
happens in my body. I don't know, and I've talked
about this before. I don't know when I'm constipated. I
don't know. When I haven't pooped, it will just I
will just be in pain. And then I watched Ali
Wong special Don Wong and she said that when she

(28:47):
was filming a movie recently, she got so constipated because
she was so nervous that she didn't shit for like
two months. She can't remember shooting in San Francisco or
shooting in San Francisco or Vancouver, and that's where she
was shooting the movie. And she was like, I had
no recollection of shitting in either of the cities, and
that she went to go get a scan to figure
out why she was. She thought she was pregnant. She's

(29:08):
experiing a horrible dominal pain and they were like, you're
full of shit. And I love so scene because I
was like, I felt so stupid when I did Dancing
with the Stars, and after I got eliminated, I was
able to eliminate like pounds and pounds of shit that
were in my body throughout that whole thing because I
was so fucking nervous. But I didn't know I wasn't shitting,

(29:29):
Like who doesn't know that they haven't taken a shit
for a month.

Speaker 4 (29:32):
I can see is like not realizing.

Speaker 3 (29:35):
But yeah, a full month of not shooting because you
know a lot of times cause.

Speaker 2 (29:39):
It doesn't feel like you have to shit. It doesn't
not like you're holding in your poop like I have
to go, but I don't want to. You don't you
have the urge?

Speaker 1 (29:44):
Well, I'm gonna ask you a question as I travel
one foot up your body. Are you one of those
people that's like I forgot to eat lunch?

Speaker 2 (29:53):
You know that I'm not.

Speaker 1 (29:54):
So No, it's the diff.

Speaker 2 (29:58):
Because I don't enjoy shitting like I do eating eating shit.
I don't emotionally shit like I if I need to
like release a feeling, I'm not like I should just
go shit, you know. Like eating for me is what
I do when I have nothing going on. It's the
first thing I reach for. Like eating fills up all
my time the way some people go on TikTok, like
that's my food.

Speaker 3 (30:18):
So it is a very important part of many people's day.
I go, I go into the bathroom to de stress.

Speaker 4 (30:23):
I'll just sit there. I'll know nobody can bother me
in here, I can look at like, oh.

Speaker 2 (30:28):
Children, what are who is bothering you? You are in
the picket lines trying to pick up a friend? Who
is bothering you?

Speaker 3 (30:35):
At the world, the world, It's a place where nobody can.

Speaker 2 (30:40):
It's like an airplane.

Speaker 3 (30:41):
It's like an airplane. Yeah, it's like you're on an
air and it's so comfortable something.

Speaker 2 (30:45):
It is the last place you have you can't be bothered.

Speaker 3 (30:48):
Yes, And then you sit there and you go and
you look on your phone or whatever. And I call
it procrastination. I do it all the time.

Speaker 4 (30:55):
I do it like once a day.

Speaker 2 (30:58):
Yeah I don't, but I don't want to sit and
just my shit's just come out ready to They're made
to order, you know, Like.

Speaker 1 (31:07):
Did your parents have like gross? What was your family's
culture around pooping?

Speaker 2 (31:12):
Like ours? I never cared about it really.

Speaker 1 (31:16):
My dad was I got a poot? I'm like, who
says poot? Is that a Michigan thing? Is from Michigan?

Speaker 5 (31:21):
P o T I got a poot?

Speaker 1 (31:23):
Did you poot? And everyone's always asking everybody successful success.

Speaker 2 (31:29):
But I also have a huge fascination with anal and
so that is all locked into pooping as well, like
whether I want to admit it or not, because it's
so gross, like the idea that poop comes out of
that hole and it's so disgusting and so like depraved
and you would have something go in it sexually is
all connected for me and the shame of pooping versus

(31:52):
like there's like some kind of discipline in it, like
good job you went poop, because I think that's flid
stage thing is yeah, good girl, Like I when I
when you're a kid and you poop for the first
time on your own, it is a big moment for
the whole family, like you get a gold star for it.
And I do remember my dad wiping me, like I

(32:12):
can still have memories of being like, wipe me. And
I wasn't like, yeah, that feels good, but it was
like there's something locked into all of this that I
don't want to pry open.

Speaker 5 (32:21):
It was your first performance.

Speaker 4 (32:26):
Also the first time you got to laugh sp.

Speaker 2 (32:31):
Speaking of performance, I want to go see a live
sex show when we're in Europe. Is that like happening
everywhere in Europe? I know, it's like a touristy thing
to do, Like it's like going to times square, like
people roll their eyes at it, like, oh, you're going
to eminem store, but I want to watch those Eminem's fuck,

(32:52):
Like I want to see a live sex show. I've honestly,
I was thinking it is the only thing, and people
are gonna be horrified by I'm going to Europe to
so many cities. I have no bucket list at all.
There is literally zero things that I care to do
or see. I don't like being a tourist. I think
it's embarrassing. I think it's embarrassing to be American. I

(33:14):
think they don't like us. I think they're annoyed with us.
I hate when, like you try to talk their language
and they talk English back. It just seems like they're
just so disgusted with you. And they like my clothing.
I'm already worried about, like, oh, they're gonna lay like
oh Lulu Lemon, like all Americans wear a leggings and
like shirts. I don't know, Like I don't even know
how Europeans dressed, but I have no ability to do it.

Speaker 1 (33:35):
I'm surprised.

Speaker 2 (33:36):
I'm so nervous about.

Speaker 1 (33:37):
This uniformed it You'll be like, oh my god, it's
so West. Everything is so western ized, like globalization has
occurred fifteen years ago. You totally have a point. But now,
like I was in London a few years ago and
I was just shocked at like, oh, it's just New.

Speaker 2 (33:53):
York London, but they're speaking English for some reason that
it's London. I agree with you. I was there for
Chris's surprise and I was like, Okay, this is I
can get around this. There's some I have massive anxiety
about going to countries where I am an American and
I think that they hate me. I think they're going

(34:13):
to be waiting for me to fuck up and like
misunderstand something and go like, oh, stupid American. And I
don't know because I don't look at immigrants or like
people visiting here that way. I look at tourists from
like you know, oh, we're from Florida coming to the
Tom Square. I hate them, But I don't hate like
German tourists. I'm like, oh, of course they don't know
their way around German.

Speaker 4 (34:34):
It's the exact opposite.

Speaker 3 (34:35):
When I see a couple or somebody from a different
country in America, I'm like, man, these guys have it
going on.

Speaker 2 (34:40):
Yeah you are amazing. Yeah, I am so embarrassed.

Speaker 6 (34:45):
Okay, I can only speak about the culture of Israel
because I'm from there, and you know, like I know
people who are still living there and stuff, and they
are so impressed that an American would come there and
perform and stuff. Like I remember when, really, when Metallica
play there in like the nineties, it was the biggest deal,
I think, and I think it'll like it'll apply to

(35:07):
other countries in Europe where they're just like, wow, you
came here to be a part of our culture, to
see our culture and perform. For us, it's a it's
a big deal because you're traveling so far and stuff.

Speaker 2 (35:17):
You guys don't get nervous going international and like looking
like an idiot like constantly because you don't know the
life France for customs. Maybe I'm just associating I am Russia.

Speaker 1 (35:33):
They don't see, well, my Russian is terrible and they
make no bones about letting me know, and they made
fun of me.

Speaker 2 (35:39):
But what if you knew no Russian and you just
chose not to speak it and you just spoke English
to them, would they.

Speaker 1 (35:43):
They probably be nicer. But I loved it. It's still exciting.
I'm so excited to go. We'll have fun today.

Speaker 4 (35:50):
I don't give you any credit for trying.

Speaker 2 (35:52):
We're landing in Berlin tomorrow. That impressed And I am
so glad Chris is going with me because I am
going to be like a little mute dog on a
leash with him, like I'm just gonna have him do everything,
because I don't want to appear dumb, and if I do,
I want it to be because I am just a
following housewife, like I just want people to be like, oh,

(36:13):
she's a caged woman, that's why she's dumb, as opposed
to like, I just don't want to bother anyone. I
don't want to get in anyone's way. I don't want
to stop on the sidewalk and have someone like walk
past me and be like, oh, stupid American, Like I
just don't want I want to represent America, Okay, I
want to be ashamed that I am American. I want
to like, I want to be like reverential to like
you guys are better than us. We know that I

(36:36):
am having a lot of shame issues around going. I
don't know what it is. What is what do I
do about this? And what should I look forward? To
that I'm not understanding because all I can think that
I'm looking forward to is going to a live sex show.

Speaker 1 (36:51):
Ann Frank's house, the Vang Museum and then a live
sex show.

Speaker 2 (36:56):
Yeah. I do want to go to Yeah, I do
want to go to like a con like I want
to go to like a Holocaust type thing. Unfortunately, as
much as it's weird to say you want to go
do that, but I do.

Speaker 6 (37:07):
And then just don't be one of those people that
take selfies at Auschwitz.

Speaker 2 (37:11):
Oh that would be fucking insane.

Speaker 1 (37:13):
Definitely not going there. We're going to ampste.

Speaker 2 (37:15):
You handsome on a camera and say well you take
this for me, and then you get next to the
sign and meat that says work set you Free, and
then you smile camera, Yeah you do, duck lips like.

Speaker 1 (37:28):
I'm just excited for the food in tel Aviv. I
heard it's the best.

Speaker 2 (37:31):
How well tel Aviv food? Hell yeah like that. I
have no problem. The food is freaking me out everywhere
else th but tel Aviv. I would eat that. I
would eat hummus and uh, you know Israeli salad with
like the chopped up cucumbers and onions and tomatoes for
every meal the rest of my life, no questions asked.
So I'm okay with that, But like, I don't know.

(37:54):
I went to Spain once with my sister and it's
just meat and cheese, and that everywhere you go in
the poor are so small and I feel like I'm
a dumb American that is going to be like, need
more and they're going to be like, oh, you want
to refill well on your Coca cola, and they're just
going to be disgusted by me. It's all my shame
about myself coming out through the eyes of people who
don't give a shit about me. That's the truth, is

(38:16):
that they'll just go I don't care, just just don't
tip us because we don't do tips well.

Speaker 1 (38:21):
It is anxiety provoking to be vegan, first of all anywhere,
and it's hard because you're you know, you don't want
to be hungry and stuck without any food. But then
traveling abroad and being vegan is also challenging. I imagine so.

Speaker 4 (38:38):
Language able to communicate?

Speaker 2 (38:41):
Do you say I am difficult? All I want to
learn and everything is I'm sorry, thank you so much.
We'll be out of here in a second. And yes,
I'm ordering one person, but to I'm going to order
or two meals for one person. Like last night I

(39:02):
went to dinner and I ordered more food than anyone
would think that one human could eat. And I just
feel I'm already insecure about that in my own country,
where we eat like you know, every meal is Thanksgiving.
There's a show that you get just supplement with kind bars.

Speaker 3 (39:19):
There's a chance to get there and you're pleasantly surprised
and everyone's a lot nicer than you think. And then
let's take a couple of days do you get for
you to get used to it? And all of this
stuff is just.

Speaker 2 (39:27):
By that time, I'm in a different country and you're
in a.

Speaker 3 (39:28):
Different country, and then there then it takes a couple
of days and you just leave right before everybody likes
you yes every time, which is very apropos for life.

Speaker 2 (39:35):
It's I wish I could just be excited, but I'm
excited for the shows because they could be horrible because
there could be just language and culture barriers and things,
you know, just references that don't fly. But I don't care,
because of course there is that I'm from a different place,

(39:56):
and if you don't like me in Berlin. I won't
come back there again, like if the show poorly. It's
not like I'm like I need to have a residency
in Berlin. I would like to go back there to
visit on big This is just a way for me
to test out every country and then come back because
I'm familiar a little bit because I've been there before.

Speaker 3 (40:12):
But aren't the people that are gonna go to your
shows in Berlin fans of you? Do you think they're
like scooping up people at the Munich time.

Speaker 2 (40:19):
I think a lot of people might be excited just
because like an American is coming.

Speaker 4 (40:22):
And goes to Munich and they're like, let's just watch this.

Speaker 2 (40:26):
Like Noah was saying, like, oh my god, this person's
coming here, we must go. And they don't know anything
about me, so they see a picture and they're like,
she must be funny. It's the thing that it used
to happen to me in my career before I had
a name here, which is you just perform at comedy
clubs and people show up because it's the comedy club, right,
and it's not They don't do any research, and then
they hate you because they don't. It's not their type

(40:47):
of thing. But it does feel okay, like I already
have like kind of put myself in the position like
close my eyes and pictured bombing so badly on stage
with like dead silent and just things not going well
at all, like the worst set possible, and I'm ready
for it. Bring it on, like I can survive that.
I don't care. I can still have a good day

(41:08):
the next day. It won't affect my I want to
have good shows. I'm going to try my best, but
I can't control this. And if I bomb in Berlin,
oh that doesn't sound good like my grandpa did.

Speaker 3 (41:20):
If I if you bomb in London, oh yeah.

Speaker 2 (41:23):
If I've bomb in London, no, that will be because
I would let London. There's a lot of I don't know,
London might be a little bit more embarrassing because that's
a place where I see other comics thriving, and I'm
just comparing myself to others where I'm like, you gotta
be good, you gotta I don't know, I'm just.

Speaker 6 (41:38):
And there's a lot of Americans abroad who will come
in your shows.

Speaker 1 (41:43):
Yes, it's uncharted territory and it's exciting and it's totally
normal that you're having anxiety about stuff like food and oh,
everyone's gonna hate me as an American because that's easier
to focus on. Then shit, what if I'm terrible on stage?

Speaker 2 (41:58):
And oh I would never but I I'm not kidding you.
I don't care. That's not I'm not like avoiding that thought.
I don't care. But aren't you going to be like,
I'm not connected?

Speaker 4 (42:06):
I did around.

Speaker 3 (42:07):
Aren't you going to be met at the airport? And
is there going to be people saying like go here,
go there?

Speaker 2 (42:12):
No?

Speaker 4 (42:12):
Okay, each other, ye.

Speaker 2 (42:17):
Each other. Yeah, it'll be fine.

Speaker 3 (42:24):
You just got to show up at the theater at
the time of the show without any yes.

Speaker 4 (42:28):
Help.

Speaker 1 (42:29):
Okay, I'm going shopping for a bunch of protein bars
today just in case two, because I don't want to
be stuck with nothing to eat.

Speaker 2 (42:36):
But they'll probably get confiscated because customs. I don't know.
I always feel like I'm going through with the legal substances,
Like customs is just the worst way to start out
any kind of journey. It's they need a complete pr
someone needs to go in and shake up customs to
be more inviting, because it's just the worst way to
start this thing. There You're like, I'm in a place

(42:57):
where I'm not feeling comfortable. I don't know how this
is gonna go. I don't know if they have uber
or I don't know how to get to places. And
to start off, you have someone suspicious of you in
a screaming at you to get off your phone, and
it's just like it's it's mean, it feels like I'm
actually being loaded into go to Auschwitz. Like it feels
like you're just cattle when you get off the plane

(43:19):
and you have to walk a mile to the place.
Does anyone else have this stress with customs?

Speaker 1 (43:25):
I got global entry and it's three minutes and it's amazing.
You just walk right there.

Speaker 4 (43:29):
You don't have global entry.

Speaker 1 (43:31):
I got that years ago because we go to Mexico
all the time, and Nikki, you might have something like that.

Speaker 2 (43:36):
I don't have global entry. I know, I don't.

Speaker 1 (43:37):
Does Clear give you anything or no?

Speaker 2 (43:39):
It's like I'm having like heart palpitations.

Speaker 1 (43:41):
Are you going to be fine? You're going to be
a chess?

Speaker 2 (43:44):
Fine.

Speaker 1 (43:44):
Also, they don't look at your bags and customs. You
go through customs first and then you go go get
your bags.

Speaker 2 (43:50):
I know, but then they.

Speaker 6 (43:51):
Then unless you're bringing in meat or like animals and cheese,
You'll be.

Speaker 2 (43:58):
A couple parakeets.

Speaker 1 (44:01):
I'm excited for your jokes that you write on the road,
or the insights that you have about each city. That's
gonna be really fun.

Speaker 2 (44:08):
I don't have any of the trust you're.

Speaker 1 (44:11):
Gonna come up with. You're gonna get to Berlin and
be like, what is going on with all this bizarre graffiti.

Speaker 2 (44:17):
I am so bad about making observations about cities. That
is honestly one of my biggest I'm sitting security.

Speaker 1 (44:24):
So much right now. I'm getting so stressed out about
this trip that might.

Speaker 2 (44:28):
Be I haven't packed at all. Are you packed?

Speaker 1 (44:32):
I have half one quarter of a bag packed. I
got my I haven't Mike's thought about podcasting.

Speaker 4 (44:37):
There's got to be something.

Speaker 1 (44:39):
Adapter, passport.

Speaker 2 (44:40):
I gotta get excited.

Speaker 3 (44:41):
It's got something to be excited about. There's got to
be something to be positive about.

Speaker 4 (44:44):
You're going on.

Speaker 2 (44:45):
Excited about sleeping and getting into bed at the end
of the night with my boyfriend after I've accomplished a
show and knowing like we have until we have to
like get up again. I think I'm just like scared.
I'm so scared, and my mom's scared there's going to
be a terrorist attack. I'm not scared of that. Like
she's like, you're going to place this where there are bombings,

(45:06):
and I'm like, we have sea shootings every fucking day.

Speaker 4 (45:09):
America is way more dangerous than way more.

Speaker 1 (45:12):
But she you know, every country has a travel advisories
for everyone coming in here, beware the most.

Speaker 3 (45:19):
Isn't that crazy that people like in France, if they're like,
I want to visit America, the State Department or whatever,
the State Department of Frances says, beware you might get
shot if you go to America.

Speaker 2 (45:31):
That seems crazy, because well then why don't they say
you might get run over crossing the street. It's I
heard a statistic, and I'm not trying to diminish mass
shootings at all, But if you took out the deaths
that occur from mass shootings, like every year, there's however
many deaths from gun violence, if you took if you
subtracted them out to die from mass shootings from that number,

(45:54):
it would be negligent, Like you wouldn't be able to
tell the difference. It's so little, so that seems easy.
It's not that it's not we shouldn't be upset about
those sixty or one hundred lives lost, but compared to
sixty thousand, one hundred out of that sixty thousand, it's
it's are there gun violence that's not amazing, Like people

(46:14):
who die by suicide or die by just gun violence,
like you know one off's murders, but mass shootings it
doesn't add a big number to that number overall.

Speaker 3 (46:25):
Would you get still get killed in a non mass
shooting in America? That would never happen in France because
they don't have guns like we do, right, they.

Speaker 5 (46:34):
Have knives and stuff, Like they're stabbings and you could
look at.

Speaker 2 (46:36):
I would much rather be shot than stabbed. But I'm
not saying which one's better. I mean, they're all fucking horrifying,
But being stabbed, why go anywhere in that case?

Speaker 3 (46:44):
You know?

Speaker 5 (46:44):
Like you right, I'm not a kind of fear.

Speaker 2 (46:47):
I'm scared. I'm just scared of their like the judgment
and they're they're being like no, and then they hate
America because of something I did, Like I answered a
text message on the street and so I had to
stop in the middle of the sidewalk and then they're like,
oh god, so I'm just not packing all.

Speaker 6 (47:01):
My American flag shirts and my hats and my bikinis,
which I have so many of.

Speaker 2 (47:08):
Okay, let's do a quick top one, bottom one. How
about it?

Speaker 5 (47:12):
How about breakfirst?

Speaker 2 (47:14):
Okay, let's break first. I thought we could get it
in in three minutes, but you don't want to try,
you know what.

Speaker 5 (47:21):
I challenge you to get it in three minutes.

Speaker 2 (47:22):
Okay, three conversation. Top one, bottom one. Here we go.
The category is.

Speaker 5 (47:30):
Features of a car.

Speaker 2 (47:31):
Features of a car. Let's start with the bottom. My
least favorite feature of a car is when you cannot
change the bluetooth settings when the car is in motion.
Let me do it whenever I'm driving. You know I'm
texting while driving. You know I'm pulling up maps while driving.
Why don't you let me do the bluetooth? Why does
it have to be in park? That's some bullshit? Okay,

(47:52):
anyone else?

Speaker 3 (47:53):
Bottom one would be a beating security features that just
distract you and beap at you. Instead of protecting you.
They're just distracting you by beeping in your face every
five seconds.

Speaker 2 (48:05):
Oh, like when you don't have your seatbelt on, Like.

Speaker 3 (48:07):
When your are there cars that if you h your
sideview mirror gets too close to a wall to start beeping.
If you're backing up and you get too close to something,
it'll start beeping. Instead of keeping you from doing stuff,
It's just beeps are coming at you from every direction.

Speaker 2 (48:20):
I feel like you might be a bad driver.

Speaker 4 (48:22):
No, I'm a good driver. I don't have the beeps
in my car.

Speaker 3 (48:26):
Similarly, I hate gigantic screens like people have like flat
screen televisions in their car. Now, how is that not distracting?

Speaker 2 (48:36):
Distracting? Agreed Anya.

Speaker 1 (48:40):
Sunroof, I spent eighteen on laser fraxel. I don't need
to get more sun damage, thank you very much. I'll
use the windows if I need.

Speaker 2 (48:49):
Oh, I love sunroofs. Really, you don't want a sunroof
on any car you own?

Speaker 1 (48:53):
Nope?

Speaker 2 (48:54):
All right, Noah.

Speaker 6 (48:57):
I agree with Brian, like these safety features are just
out of control. And one that I realized I hate
was yesterday when I quickly tried to pick av up
from the airport and I just like had my foot
on the brake and I tried to open up the
trunk and it wouldn't let me because the car was
in the park.

Speaker 2 (49:15):
And then it's it's protecting you girl.

Speaker 1 (49:18):
Yeah, okay, happened to fair.

Speaker 4 (49:22):
I want to go back to when.

Speaker 3 (49:23):
We didn't sounds amazing, wa ruin the cars was just
an open thing and there were no seatbelts and the
windshield just kind of.

Speaker 2 (49:30):
Went like half, my god, have you ever said seen
a dummy with the feet up on the console? You
know how you ride on road trips? And if they have,
if you get scared, don't watch it because you Oh
my god, but don't ever. I will never ever sit
like that again, because it is It will ruin everything
you think. That fraxle laser that you wasted your money on,

(49:51):
you won't have a head to even see how good
your skin is if you put your don't ever lounge
like that ever. I'm telling you listeners, please, when we
get back, we're gonna find out the best feature. That's
how I did it under three minutes. It's nice, all right.
Top one bottom one features in cars? What is your
favorite feature in a car?

Speaker 1 (50:12):
Anya, I love a seat warmer in the winter time.
Nothing cozier than my non soapy vagina getting warmed.

Speaker 2 (50:21):
Yeah, just get heating that little uh hatchery up in
the summer. Too incubating. No, they're so good. They feel
like you're peeing your pants initially, and then it stays,
and now there's someone who used to wear to bed.
It feels good at first and then it's horrible. Yeah,
I have one in my car. I drive a twenty ten.

Speaker 1 (50:40):
Really they had seat coolers then.

Speaker 2 (50:42):
I guess so yeah, or there's just like a little
guy blowing on me down there. But yeah, it's like, uh,
it feels so good. I love that, And yeah, the
seat coolers are really nice, Brian, what's yours?

Speaker 3 (50:56):
My car doesn't have it, and it causes me, uh adjida.
But I love a seat that adjusts itself. You have
a preset seat adjusting, so you say, oh, this is
how my seat is, and then you said, that's Brian's setting.
And then when someone washes your car or somebody fixes
your car, or god forbid, a valet driver adjusts your

(51:18):
seat when they're parking your car, you could rest as.

Speaker 2 (51:22):
To put it back. Because I remind myself I got
long legs. I just remember, like, God, everyone's so short,
I'm so tall. It like reinforces for me what I
need to know about myself to day. Or I'm like
my vagina so long time. I don't want.

Speaker 3 (51:38):
A valet driver ever ever to drive the car. I'd
rather just park it myself. I hate when there's a valet.
I just want to park it myself.

Speaker 2 (51:45):
I don't mind it. Why do you hate it? Because
they're just in your space?

Speaker 4 (51:49):
Sometimes they adjust the seat?

Speaker 2 (51:51):
Are you not? When you are saying in a hotel?
Do you not like the maid to come in?

Speaker 4 (51:55):
I don't let the maid come in.

Speaker 2 (51:56):
I had a feeling, but I do someone who doesn't
like people in their.

Speaker 3 (52:00):
It would be nice if I could let the maid
come in just to keep up appearances so that she
gets paid, but then also not do anything like maybe
she just wants to come in and talk for a
few minutes.

Speaker 2 (52:09):
I love when they've come in. It just feels no
matter what I do, I could never straighten the way
that they do.

Speaker 3 (52:14):
No, of course, not no, no, But I don't. I
don't want to be straightened.

Speaker 4 (52:18):
I want to, I don't. I just want to be
left alone the whole time.

Speaker 2 (52:21):
And I always like, you put away your jewelry, and
I'm like, they're not gonna stop thinking everyone's trying to
steal from you all the time. Just is it what
happened to just trusting the universe and not being paranoid
about everything, even though that's the story for me going
to Europe. My favorite thing I on in a car.
I just found a couple of weeks ago when I

(52:43):
was in la and Sarah Lena came to pick me
up in her new what's the one that has a
gg Wagon? Oh my god, there is a feature and
if bestie's if you have this, if you've ever been
a g Wagon, you know this. It is revolutionary. So
when you turn like a sharp or something and you
know you kind of like your body like shifts to
the either side, it will hug you, oh so that

(53:06):
you stay perfectly like all of a sudden, the seat
will just kind of like and it seems like it
would be annoying, like why why do I want something?
It is so fucking comforting on a cellular level to
have your car hug you and just like make you
feel like you're like chummy with it, where it's just
kind of like I got your back. It is so amazing.

(53:27):
And I wrote to Chris, I was like, Sarahlina's car
has this feature where he goes where it huggs you
and I'm like yes, and he's like is it a Gwagon?
And I go, I don't even know what I was
in because I don't pay attention to things. So I
wrote her being like is it a Gwagon? And she
was like, yes, it is. And I'm like, we gotta
get this feature in more cars. You got it? It
is amazing. I am. I am looking for a new

(53:48):
car and like, I think it has to be something
that has that hug technology because it just feels so
fucking good.

Speaker 1 (53:56):
That fingers you. It's amazing.

Speaker 2 (53:58):
Oh my god.

Speaker 3 (54:00):
I agree that this is that's a great feature and
it's but isn't this bad for society that everything is
making us so comfortable all the time, Like any little
thing that can discomfort us, we have now a device
for to make us comfortable.

Speaker 1 (54:15):
Yeah. I don't like it.

Speaker 2 (54:17):
Because then were our I'm uncomfortable all the time. Yes,
there's no amount of comfort that will actually make me
feel comfortable. So I invite it when I can't have
it in my life because I just I don't like comfort,
and so when it's forced on me, it feels really good.

Speaker 3 (54:35):
I envy the people from like the seventeen hundreds who
were not comfortable ever. But they just were like, well,
that's just the way it is, and they and they
went on their lives and it didn't bother them as much.
I think our threshold for discomfort getting is getting lower
and lower until it's going to be like, we're all
going to have like fibromyalgia by the time we're you know.

Speaker 2 (54:53):
Well, that's why we sit horribly because we always have
back seats. And back in the day, they just had
to sit and learn how to position their bodies. They
were balancing kind of on their pelvis where this was
like the base, and you just kind of balance your
body by sitting up straight. So it's not like you're
like now, when we think sit up straight, you're kind
of all tense and you're like, I'm sitting up straight.

Speaker 4 (55:11):
You just figured it out.

Speaker 2 (55:12):
You can just balance your spine where it does it. It
feels like you're balancing a broom, you know, You're not
like when you're holding a broom upright on your palm.
It doesn't take any effort, even though it looks really impressive.
You can do that with your spine. But we don't
have to do that anymore because we're constantly sitting in
chairs with backs, so we all have horrible alignment because
of comfort, because of.

Speaker 1 (55:31):
The season of alone. It was like up like season
four or five before a woman was find like, I'm
building a chair with a back, and then she was like,
this is the best thing ever. And she had the
best season because she was just chilling in her chair
with the back.

Speaker 2 (55:47):
It takes. I hate when you got to sit on
a stool somewhere. It forces you to be to have
good posture though I was to enjoy yourself on a stool.

Speaker 4 (55:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (55:57):
I was at a restaurant the other day and I
looked over to a table next to us, and there
was a baby sitting in a baby seat and he
was just sitting upright. He was not supporting, he was
not leaning back, and he could just like he was
just like.

Speaker 2 (56:10):
Babies have perfect pastuack if you well, I did the
Alexander technique for a really long time, and it teaches
you all the stuff about alignment and how to sit
up straight. It's not it shouldn't be a hard thing
to do. You're just doing exactly what your body's meant
to do. If you but she my teachers always said,
if you look at babies, they are never having technic
where they're bent over. They're never sitting with like on

(56:30):
the floor playing with blocks and their back is hunched.
They're sitting. They're perfect and they're not trying. A baby
isn't trying to look good or have good posture. It
just is. And that's how we all start out. And
then chairs and beds and all of the device, all
the things of modern leisure lead us to be lazy

(56:53):
and not engage our core, so our muscles. You know,
you're you're not using your muscles at all. When you're
leaning back on a couch, you're we're usually you would
be doing something. So yeah, babies never have to They
never look have hunchbacks. Look at babies play on the floor.
It's so annoying. And when they walk, their butts kind
of stick out and their tummies go out. And because
they're balancing, they're learning how to balance perfectly so that

(57:15):
they can stand. And it's like holding a broom on
your palm. They're not like, there's no muscle being really
used to hold that up because they're balancing it. And
we start to think like that you can walk and
you you're so much. On the other day, I was
like kind of aware of my posture. When I went
to go visit my parents and I was leaving and
my dad was like, I forget how tall you are,
and I'm like, god, even my dad noticed something. I

(57:37):
gained like an inch, probably by just not hunching and
just not and not being like I'm a proud peacock
and walking around with that chest up, but just naturally
easy sitting up straight. Anya has perfect posture. She never
has a hunchback when she's sitting.

Speaker 1 (57:51):
Lately, I've been noticing, I really like I've as you age,
things get looser and like in pictures. I started noticing
last year I was playing guitar, I was like hunching
a little, and so now I'm working on doing back exercises.
But when I hurt my shoulder, the physical therapist was like,
this is a weird hack, but get on the floor

(58:11):
and crawl like a baby. Your body has a way
of realigning itself and setting itself back to zero. And
I was like what And then I did it, and
I was like, this is amazing. Just crawling on the
ground on your stomach like lying down, and you do that,
She's like, just lay down on your stomach.

Speaker 2 (58:27):
On a yoga back house that's burning.

Speaker 1 (58:29):
M hmm okay, like just completely pancaked. And then like
she's like, then just crawl around like not on your stomach,
on your like kind of like if you're doing push
ups and then you're all the way down, you're just
like you're not pushing up, You're just kind of you're
justling and she's like, just wiggle there on the mat,
and it was you really do feel like, oh, my

(58:50):
body is relearning the natural place that's supposed to be,
like we do. You're right, we do so many messed
up things with our daily lives, whereas if I.

Speaker 2 (58:59):
Am just have on the ground, you'd be fine. Hyper
vigilant right now about getting this lump on the back
of my neck that is already starting to happen from
And I see it everywhere. I see people on their phones,
hunched over their phones with this tech nek thing happening.
And the best way to do it that I learned
in Alexander technique is like when you turn to look
at your phone, you can look at anything in your
lap and you don't have to hunch over your head.

(59:21):
What you do is you look pretend that through your
ear holes. There is a rod, right, and that's where
all the movement comes from on your head. So to
look at your phone, you all you need to do
is move that dial so your head ads down. Your
neck does not move forward in any way. It's just
your head.

Speaker 1 (59:36):
I'm doing it on that rotation dial.

Speaker 2 (59:39):
Do you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (59:40):
Like this, which I'm just doing it straight up.

Speaker 2 (59:43):
Go up and down my head. Yeah, yeah, like that.
So the turning point is where your ears are, it's
not where your neck is. It's not at the bottom
of base of your neck where it meets your spine.
That all stays totally still, and you can look at
anything up or down without going like this with your neck.
And that really changed things for me.

Speaker 1 (01:00:02):
So you're just moving your eyeballs.

Speaker 2 (01:00:04):
No, no, no, you move your head. It's like a picture,
like the place where it's moving is a rod going
through your fucking skull.

Speaker 1 (01:00:14):
Don't and that's where around.

Speaker 2 (01:00:16):
No, it's just no, no, no, yeah, don't you move your
neck at all.

Speaker 4 (01:00:19):
And where's your stomach moving from? Where is your stomach
on the ground doing this?

Speaker 2 (01:00:24):
Yeah, make sure you're on all fours. Is on the
roof of your mouth.

Speaker 3 (01:00:30):
Your stomach and put a rod through your ears.

Speaker 2 (01:00:35):
Well, the only time I'm ever crawling on old fours naturally.
When you just said that, I was like, oh, the
next time my boyfriend breaks up with me and I'm
begging him to stay, That's the only time I can
remember being on the ground.

Speaker 1 (01:00:46):
Perfect alignment while you're weeping.

Speaker 2 (01:00:48):
Yeah, I'm like, oh, you know what, this is returning
me to a natural state. So the primordial state.

Speaker 3 (01:00:55):
The point is, you wouldn't have to do all this
stuff if we didn't have the car chairs and stuff
like that.

Speaker 1 (01:01:02):
Yeah, that's a good maybe jeep, right though, like they're
so uncomfortable like old school jeeps.

Speaker 3 (01:01:09):
Yeah, well, jeeps, give you a pilon idol cyst, which
is something I had to do with.

Speaker 4 (01:01:14):
You don't want that ship? What you don't want that ship?
Let me tell.

Speaker 1 (01:01:18):
You, you know what they say.

Speaker 3 (01:01:20):
Pilon A pilonidol cyst is a uh you know what
a cyst is. It's like a little cave underneath your
skin and then uh, it gets filled up and then
it you know if Yeah, so you can get one
on your basically your uh, your tailbone area, and it's
called a pilon idol cyst and it's.

Speaker 2 (01:01:40):
Wait, do you press it? And it's like, does it hurt?

Speaker 4 (01:01:42):
Oh, it's so qui painful, It's so painful, and then
you sit.

Speaker 3 (01:01:45):
I used to I had it when I was when
I was a little kid, like when I was thirteen
or twelve, I felt it sitting on the floor of
the gym, like doing stretches a gym class because there
was a hard floor. And that's when I first realized it.
My entire life. I thought it was just that's how
everybody was. I thought everyone had.

Speaker 2 (01:02:03):
A painep thing. I wouldn't understand that.

Speaker 4 (01:02:09):
Yeah, you said, it's a jeep thing, bro.

Speaker 3 (01:02:10):
And then when I was like eighteen, I went through
a bad breakup or maybe no, it's like a little
later than that. I went through a bad breakup and
my pilon aimol system flared up so bad I couldn't
walk and it was like it was New Year's Eve
and we had to find a doctor that would be

(01:02:31):
willing to see me. And I went to the doctor
and they at a hospital and they put me over
a table and they injected me with some painkiller, and
they took a scalpel and they started cutting my tailbone area.
And the only way they knew to put more painkiller

(01:02:54):
was by the volume of my screams.

Speaker 2 (01:02:56):
Oh my god. They were like, are you waking up
from a because we know that you wick up screaming.

Speaker 3 (01:03:03):
And that was when I first learned about this palnile syst.
And that wasn't that didn't cure it. That was just
to get rid of that initial inflammation is.

Speaker 2 (01:03:10):
Gonna come back. It's like a corn. I get corns
on my feet. And this is how I knew Noah
didn't have a corn because she told me I think
I had a corn when I was a little girl,
because my grandma.

Speaker 6 (01:03:18):
What was the story, Well, it was my mom ripped
it off with you know those like corn sticker things.

Speaker 2 (01:03:26):
Yeah, so I was.

Speaker 6 (01:03:28):
We were using the yellow liquid to like try to
dry it out, and then my mom had put the
cushion on and she wanted to take it off, and
she ripped it off like a wax strip, and this
like long root came out.

Speaker 2 (01:03:41):
I oh god, I want to eat it.

Speaker 6 (01:03:44):
My grandma came out of the kitchen like screaming, what's happening.

Speaker 2 (01:03:48):
Oh my god. That is the most satisfying thing I've
ever heard of. My lefe Wart that was a wart
most likely if I based on me not having any
kind of real knowledge, but watching more footage of warts
being cut out and corns being cut out than most
doctors who do that for a living. I have watched
hundreds of footage because it's just so satisfying to me.
Corns will come back unless you use cushions the rest

(01:04:12):
of your life. So corns are a result of a
bone hitting It's a result of pressure over time, and
corns will always come back because it's some bone in
your body that's like misaligned and it's hitting this part.
So I get the same corn every week, I like
scrape it off with a scalpel and have to like
it is a little bead of callous. It's not like
there's no virus in between my toes, and it hurts.

(01:04:35):
They hurt so fucking bad. Lee And then a wart
is only lives on the top layer of skin and
it is attached to your blood supply. So if it bleeds,
it's most likely a wart because it is getting ripped
from the blood supply that it is feasting off of.
And they will often come back too, because you don't

(01:04:59):
you think you got it all, but you leave a
virus behind. But warts can be taken out and won't
return again if you get the whole thing. So I
think that if you ripped that one out and it
didn't come back, it was probably a wart.

Speaker 3 (01:05:08):
And because it blood, you're supposed to freeze warts, though,
aren't you supposed to freeze them? And then they come
on and then they kill it and then it comes
and then you can take it off.

Speaker 2 (01:05:14):
And the fact that you said to dry it out,
corns are already dry. There's no drying that needs to
be done. They're callous, so they're just little hard balls.
And warts are like these juicy things that need to
be kind of frozen or burnt in a way that
they become like dryer, and they you, you know, you
bust up the blood supply and then you can rip

(01:05:36):
them out and it's so good. I don't ever want
to see a juicy like wart being like slice. I
wanted to be dry. I don't want to screw that.
They're not roots. Roots is a like the black dots
you see in planters. Warts are not roots. Those are
blood vessels that are attached to your blood system. So
those are just dried blood. They look like black dots.

(01:05:58):
But it's dried blood. They're not roots. Nothing has right.
Love totally.

Speaker 6 (01:06:03):
Talks about warts because I can hear your mouth watering.

Speaker 5 (01:06:06):
A little bit.

Speaker 2 (01:06:08):
Why is my mouth watering about warts?

Speaker 5 (01:06:10):
It's so disgusting what it is about you.

Speaker 2 (01:06:13):
There's not enough footage of them being cut out. It's
like there's a deficit online. I've seen all the ones
that appease me. I need more. It's almost like I
want to create like influencers that because I know people
have warts out there. I had a bestie once who
said that I could scalpel her wart out backstage of
the show. I can't do that because one time my
mom had a corn and I sliced her foot and

(01:06:35):
it still bothers her to this day. Like I heard
a nerve, so I cannot. I know, I feel so horrible, honestly,
it's the it's the worst thing that I did that
to her, And because I thought I could just get
it because I do it to myself all the time
and I don't make myself bleed. But she has thinner
skin emotionally, and so she's such a baby about now.
I like sliced her foot. And now it's been two
years and she's still not healed from it. It's so

(01:06:57):
embarrassing that I did that to her, and I'm so
sorry mom, But.

Speaker 4 (01:07:01):
Well, can I just finish the thread on my and
my painful ass?

Speaker 1 (01:07:04):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:07:04):
Yeah, so I actually did cure it eventually. Wait, I
got I had to get ass surgery six times.

Speaker 2 (01:07:12):
She got back together with you, Yeah, she got back
together with me. Maybe why did it's flare up because
you were broken up with It's clearly psychosomatic a little bit.

Speaker 3 (01:07:20):
Well, the pilotel cyst is not psychosomatic. I don't know why.
Emotionally that would have made me just probably like immune
system stuff and you know, you stressed out, your body
reacts and weird ways, and in this instance, it made
that flare up.

Speaker 2 (01:07:34):
But so surgery six.

Speaker 4 (01:07:35):
I had to get ass.

Speaker 3 (01:07:36):
Surgery six times in order to finally get it all
out because the first time I did it, I went
under anesthesia and they did what's a closed thing, So
they they they scoop it out like an ice cream scoop,
and you.

Speaker 4 (01:07:47):
Have like, uh, you can see it, Oh my god.

Speaker 3 (01:07:50):
Yeah, Well there's like, well the first one if they
scoop out like the size of a fist, I can
show you the size of a fist in your tailbone area,
and what does it look like? And then they and
that's called a closed that's called the closed thing.

Speaker 2 (01:08:04):
Look like what does the cyst look like the side
your body? Is it like fatty tissue?

Speaker 3 (01:08:10):
Is it like it's like you're a chunk of flesh
with like little cave in it?

Speaker 1 (01:08:14):
Is it like Atma, I thought a cyst was a
bag of fluid.

Speaker 3 (01:08:18):
A cyst is underneath the skin. It's like a little
cave and it forms little little uh, cavernous lines that
you need to make sure you get the whole cake
cavern system or else it'll just come back and it
does fill.

Speaker 2 (01:08:31):
The game is hollow, So is it hollow?

Speaker 3 (01:08:33):
It's like you're it's like this is a flesh, a
hunk of flesh, and your skin's covering it up so
you don't see anything. But maybe you see like a
little hole, like a little tiny little baby pe hole,
and like liquid can come out of there, because if
there's like but underneath the skin, it's like an underground
a subterranean cave system. Okay, and that's not good. You're

(01:08:56):
not supposed to have that, and that can fill up
with fluid. If it gets infected, and then it comes
out a little tiny baby hole e and then it
can form little tendrils of cavernous systems.

Speaker 2 (01:09:07):
Through the giant one.

Speaker 3 (01:09:09):
The longer you have it, the longer you have it,
the bigger and more complex the cave systems.

Speaker 2 (01:09:14):
The size of a fist they took out of your ass.

Speaker 4 (01:09:16):
They sliced out a size.

Speaker 3 (01:09:21):
They sliced it out of my ass, and then they
sewed it up and and then I had to wait
eight months for it to heal. You know when I
when I wound that big heels, it fills up from.

Speaker 4 (01:09:31):
The bottom up and it healed.

Speaker 3 (01:09:35):
I go back to the doctor and they do their
their search, and they missed the cave. Kids in the cave,
they find those those those those yeah, those soccer flares. Yeah,
the soccer players were all in there. And they get
out and yeah, and they found another cave. They said, oh,

(01:09:55):
we missed the cave. We got to cut your ass again.
And they said, but this time, we're not going to
close it up, because you have a better chance of
it healing if you cut out the fist and then
you just leave it open. And so they cut out
the fist and this is what I have pictures of.
I can show you pictures of the open wound if

(01:10:16):
they cut out the fist and then you just and
then you have to pack it with gauze and repack
it three times a day and can clean it out.
And it's incredibly painful. And I had to have my
dad help me pack my ass wound. And that was
the second Yeah, exactly, that's what I was thinking of
when you were saying that. Yeah, that was the second

(01:10:37):
time I got it, and they didn't get it all
out either. I went another eight months, it filled up,
they didn't get it all out, So then I had
to do it a third time. I went to see
this amazing doctor, an NYU doctor named Brian Harlan, and
he was like, I'm going to take care of you.
This guy is like super confident. I went to him.
He cut my ass open and and.

Speaker 4 (01:11:01):
It healed up.

Speaker 3 (01:11:02):
And then but then he missed like a little bit
so he could do cave a little bit of the cave.

Speaker 4 (01:11:07):
So then the fourth surgery.

Speaker 2 (01:11:09):
I still don't understand the cave thing. But we're gonna
we're gonna get pictures on them, We're gonna get optics
on them.

Speaker 1 (01:11:14):
He did it.

Speaker 3 (01:11:14):
He then he just had to do like a half surgery,
and then he had to do like a twenty percent surgery,
and then he had to do like a ten percent surgery.
And then finally, after years of having like an open
ass wound, it healed up.

Speaker 2 (01:11:26):
No, oh my god, I just put on cyst jeep
and typed it into Google and pilon idol cyst comes
up like it's WebMD. There's like a picture of one.

Speaker 3 (01:11:34):
Yes, a lot of people in World War two got
pile ninl sists because the jeep hopping up and bumping
up and down on those you know, on those roads
in Germany.

Speaker 4 (01:11:43):
Uh oh, made their asses flare up.

Speaker 3 (01:11:46):
And it's also genetic, like you get it because and
I had it since I was a little kid.

Speaker 2 (01:11:50):
So but no, it is a cave and there could
be hair in it. Oh yeah, the hair.

Speaker 4 (01:11:54):
So I had to get my skin. I had to
get it.

Speaker 2 (01:11:58):
Was there a hair in it? It was his twin?
Oh my god, Oh no, I hate this.

Speaker 1 (01:12:06):
Okay, final thought, what are those twins called?

Speaker 2 (01:12:09):
Wait? Can wet you go back and hear about your
eighteen eighteen hundred dollars laser on you?

Speaker 1 (01:12:16):
Did I hear that right, I got that. I was exaggerating.
It's like twelve hundred Is it taratoma? What is that
thing called when they find like a dead twin in you're.

Speaker 2 (01:12:25):
Let me hear about your twelve hundred dollars laser?

Speaker 1 (01:12:27):
Okay, now, yeah, okay, but wait, have you heard of tarotomas? No,
it's when people are like, something's bothering me and then
they look in their stomach and they're like there's a
full set of teeth and a bunch of hair. Yeah, yeah,
your twin that you didn't know you had. Okay, well,
I never cracksle laser. The other day, In case you're
wondering why I look strange and like I survived a

(01:12:49):
house fire, look at this without the ring light. Look
at can you see I have so much weird stuff
on my face.

Speaker 2 (01:12:57):
That's just that looks the same as when I get
micron Oh really, yeah, I look pretty burnt when.

Speaker 1 (01:13:04):
Yeah, but no, I think it's like twelve hundred dollars
that you get it done once a year and it
just keeps things even and fresh and new. But it
is it hurt ah, yeah, but not terrible. The radio
freaking on my pro needling is the worst I did
get numbed up. Doesn't seem to do much, but it must.

(01:13:25):
She did do a weird thing at the end where
she's like, before I start this, I'm going to give
you some Valtrex. I'm like why, and she's like, they
give you val cold stort. I'm like no. She's like,
you've never had a cold store in your life. I'm
like no. She's like, Anya, do you have a history
of cold sort? I'm like no, and then she goes,
you've never had a cold sort in your life, like
weirdly aggressive. I was like, I have not, but it's

(01:13:49):
it's fun you haven't. I'm on her own side. I
did not break out, and it's fine. But yeah, she
shamed me for that, but for.

Speaker 2 (01:13:57):
Not having one. Yes, So usually it's the other way.

Speaker 3 (01:14:01):
Everyone says, yes, I have a cold sore. Then why
does she even ask the question? If she's so in
disbelief that you didn't have one, why would.

Speaker 4 (01:14:07):
She even ask?

Speaker 3 (01:14:08):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (01:14:08):
No, Yeah, I was offended when they offered valtrex to
me for when I got a laser as well, because
I was like, no, I got one one time and
I meditated away. I'm good, but it's such a traumatic
thing that your body probably creates them because cold stores
are stress related and your body thinks it's being burned

(01:14:30):
alive because it is so your body wants to like
this wasn't the kind that you have to like put
straps down and they have to like buckle you to
your seat. No, but I definitely your body will fight.

Speaker 1 (01:14:41):
I was like like making a lot of noises and
fidgeting a lot.

Speaker 2 (01:14:45):
It was like involuntari. Yeah stuff, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:14:48):
But it was over pretty fast. It is insane to
do though. You're just lying there going what am I doing?
I'm burning myself alive?

Speaker 2 (01:14:55):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:14:56):
Right?

Speaker 5 (01:14:57):
What you did that too?

Speaker 1 (01:14:58):
Right?

Speaker 2 (01:14:59):
I remember when we were I did one. I don't
remember exactly what it was. It's the kind that makes
you look like you know those cartoons or like I
guess it would not cartoons, but drawings from the nineteen
fifties that have every person has like a dot, like
they're f filled with dots, like they're almost comic book
type things. You look like that, you look like you
have like a grid on your face, so it's a

(01:15:19):
grid like whatever that was. I did that and they
had just they had to bell crowe my hands to
the sides. Of the chair and hold me down and
keep They put these things in your eyes so that
you don't poss almost open your eyes like there's plastic
in your eyes. It's like a contact lens that has
a little flap sticking out so that you because if

(01:15:40):
this word to get anywhere near your eye, you'd be
blind forever and over. And also because your body said
this before, your body thinks it's being lit on fire,
and it no matter what your logical brain thinks, thinking
oh this is fine, I'm paid for this and there's
a doctor in the room, your body will supersede that
and say we need to sprint into a you need

(01:16:02):
to find a body of water, and so you need
to be held down because your body will try to
run because it thinks it's being burned. Gives your self
esteem actually less.

Speaker 6 (01:16:16):
That's happened to me when I've gotten my lips done
and they numbed my lips right, so when they stuck
the needle in, I couldn't feel it, but all of
a sudden my heart started racing right. I was like,
oh my god, my body knows that trauma and this
is why I will never get my wisdom teeth removed
I'm way too scared.

Speaker 1 (01:16:32):
Really, that's the most amazing sound is hearing someone use
pliers and pull out your wisdom teeth. It's crazy for it. Oh,
I was awake. I was just like, what is happening
right now?

Speaker 2 (01:16:48):
Well, I hate the sound of your lips being injected.
I hate when I can hear you know. I was
getting PRP on my scalp when I thought it was
losing all my hair, and so they would like inject
my own blood that they whipped around in a machine
back into my scalp, and each time it would I
hate that sound. It was like thousands of and I
was so grossed out that I put on noise canceling
headphones and listen to my own stand up no I was.

(01:17:10):
I was going no, no, no, no the whole time because
I couldn't stand it. It was such a horrible sound.
But yeah, I don't. That's an interesting thing, I bet, Anya,
because you're an HSP thirty five or whatever. I bet
that is why a fraxle laser still hurts when you
get numb, because you are more in tune not with
your logical brain but with your like your boy, what

(01:17:31):
your body is feeling. So your body, despite being numbs
still knows it's under attack, and you're so in tune
with that little voice that it still registers as hurting
because there's no reason it should hurt if you're numbed up.

Speaker 1 (01:17:43):
Oh so hurts. I mean, although I've had people tell
me like, I have a very high threshold for.

Speaker 4 (01:17:50):
Pain, Yeah I don't. I have a very high threshold
for pain.

Speaker 2 (01:17:57):
I don't think anyone's ever been told they have a
low threshold for because everyone I know thinks they have
a high threshold for pain, including myself. Now I think
does anyone out there think that they have a low
threshold for pain? Or ever been told by a doctor, wow,
you're because my lasts like to get a massage and
they're like you're tight, and you're like, oh, thank you
because it makes you feel cool.

Speaker 1 (01:18:16):
Well, I know during times of my cycle, I'm much
more sensitive to pain, And like when I used to
get bikini waxes, the girls would be like are you pmsaying?
Because you're really flinching a lot, you know, because the
week before I think you can be very sensitive.

Speaker 2 (01:18:30):
And isn't that right lined up with emotional pain? Like
how we think these two aren't connected is insane to me.
Anyone that doesn't think physical pain is emotion related to
your emotions, because before your period, you're crying a lot more.
I like rosebud Baker's pregnant right now and she has
a new bit that I just saw yesterday and she's like,
the only difference with being pregnant is that I just

(01:18:51):
cry all the time. I cry about anything. And she's like,
and men are She was like, I just love it's
a superpower because now I can make men nervous all
the time because I'm crying constantly and they're always scared
of me. And it was it's I thought that was
an interesting part of like being pregnant, is that you
just would cry all the time. And that's I'm like,

(01:19:12):
I should get pregnant because I'm looking for ways to
cry more and I just don't know how cry more
and plan again. I really want to be able to
get it out. How do you guys cry? I know
I've asked this literally a billion times, but like, I
wish I could just sit on my bed and get
it out.

Speaker 1 (01:19:29):
Oh yeah, I wouldn't worry about it.

Speaker 2 (01:19:32):
It'll happen, no, because it ends up me eating in
the middle of the night instead of it or yelling
at someone or hating myself. If I cry, like everything
gets like balanced, it's an easy way to cry on
the reg I would be so happy and.

Speaker 4 (01:19:50):
Right, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:19:51):
I don't know, because I don't know either pretty easily
and but but I know the cry you're talking about,
like when it's building up and everything's just piling on
and every everything so stressful, and then you're going insane.
You're feeling no choice. It's like an organ all of
a sudden. I'll do that, and I'll also start laughing psychotically.
I think sometimes laughing psychotically also does the same thing

(01:20:13):
as the crying, and that you can definitely force.

Speaker 2 (01:20:17):
Okay, my actual my somatic therapist taught me a cool
move to get emotions out or to like get yourself
out of a state of feeling anxiety. You stand up
and you just rush your hands back and forth, almost
like you're skiing down a hill, you know, like up
and down, and then you bend over as you're going down,
and you back up again, and you hold water bottles

(01:20:38):
in your hands. Something with a little bit of weight
could really help and just keep jerking almost like you
you know, remember that one time, Anya, when I told
us to like beat a pillow, yes, like over and over,
just take a billow and just thrash it into the couch,
like that could help. So maybe I'll do that because
that would probably stir up some emotions and get them out.
But I feel like I just need, I just need

(01:20:59):
to talk about what I'm going through and then tears
start coming out. But I don't think I does get
asked enough about what's going on by why Because.

Speaker 1 (01:21:06):
I voicemails for a friend and we do it all
day long to each other and there's no judgment. It's
like you can leave as many as you want.

Speaker 2 (01:21:13):
Well, I have that, but I don't. I get annoy.
I don't want a girl's chat. If I cry it
every time, it would just be like you guys would
go like, oh Jesus.

Speaker 1 (01:21:20):
No, we wouldn't. It's cathartic. It probably helps somebody else.
But I the other day was doing it. I was
in a totally good mood and I was just talking
about stuff and then I was like, I'm gonna dig
a little harder with that one, and like started uncovering
stuff and then out of nowhere. I just started crying
and I was like, oh, I had no idea. I
was even upset about this thing.

Speaker 2 (01:21:40):
It's like when I've buried being constipated. I had no idea. Yeah,
pulled out.

Speaker 1 (01:21:48):
With a little breary.

Speaker 2 (01:21:50):
Okay, well, we gotta go. But we have podcasts next
week from Europe. We are in Europe right now, but
we've pre recorded these because we wanted to do the
first week just without having to do podcasts. But we
will be live from well, you know, as live as
we can be from Europe next week. Remotely can't wait
to do it. We'll be well, Ania and I will
be together in the same room. Chris will probably be

(01:22:11):
joining us for many of those, and I'm looking forward
to it. Thank you guys so much for listening to
the podcast. As always, we'll see you next week. And
does anyone else want to take this to digitus as.

Speaker 4 (01:22:24):
I can't digit start crying?

Speaker 2 (01:22:28):
Yeah, just do it.

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