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September 6, 2023 75 mins

In her hotel room, Nikki is joined by her lover Chris Convy and it happens to be his birthday! He explains his unique birthday policy. Nikki brings up the trauma she experienced around Santa Claus as kid. They talk about Nikki's infamous speech at her sister's wedding that disappointed a large portion of the crowd. They talk about movies they walked out of, the show Suits and a date Chris went on in Abu Dhabi. Brian has a lot to say about Burning Man getting buried in mud. In the Final Thought, Nikki learned something new about consciousness, Brian, Nikki and Chris talk about their crossword competition and Nikki likes sports that are 15 years too late.  

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Nicky Glaser Podcast, Nicki Glaser.

Speaker 2 (00:09):
Here's Nikki.

Speaker 3 (00:10):
Hello here, I am welcome to the show. It's Nicki
Glazer Podcast. Happy Labor Day weekend. I hope you had
a good one. I am joined today by Brian Frangie.

Speaker 1 (00:21):
Hi, Brian, Hello, Welcome to the show. Everybody. That's me
welcoming to the show. Also, yeah, there you go.

Speaker 3 (00:28):
Noah's also here.

Speaker 2 (00:29):
Hey, Noah, welcome to the shows. Me welcoming everybody.

Speaker 3 (00:35):
And then that's the laughter of my birthday boy, my
little baby baby birthday boy, mebe Bb, my boyfriend, my lover,
my special guy whose birthday is today. It's Chris Convy.

Speaker 4 (00:51):
Everyone's welcoming you to the show. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (00:55):
And Anya is not here today because she's filming a
music video in Rhode Island on a book. Oh wow,
she'll tell us all about that when she gets back.
We get Chris Convey today. He came to visit me.
I'm very excited about it. He came in. What day
did you get here? On Sunday? And uh, we have

(01:17):
a fun week planned of we have an activity for
your birthday and Thursday. This sucks when I have like
a birthday present that's coming two days after his birthday,
because today's birthday and I literally have nothing for you
except kisses. No.

Speaker 5 (01:29):
I think that's fine. Really, I think you've got time
to give somebody a gift. Personally, it doesn't matter to
me either way, but I think, yeah, how are you
supposed to like line up something perfect on somebody's birthday
in this day and age?

Speaker 4 (01:44):
Am I right?

Speaker 1 (01:45):
Brood?

Speaker 3 (01:48):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (01:48):
No, it's hard, but I do know that you don't
say happy birthday to Chris Convey. Chris Convey says hello
to you.

Speaker 4 (01:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:56):
Yeah, so you know you can't call, you can't text.
He's got a you and if he doesn't call.

Speaker 4 (02:01):
You on his let's explain.

Speaker 3 (02:06):
Will you explain it?

Speaker 4 (02:06):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (02:07):
I mean okay, yeah, yeah, I can explain this. So,
I mean I think when I was younger, this is
like twenty years old, this whole thing. People were obsessed
with their birthdays and then they were upset, Oh, you
missed my birthday, And if you miss somebody's birthday, it's
this big ordeal and somebody's like, oh, I'm sad you
And everybody just loves their birthday so much. So the
deal I was making with my friends was don't you

(02:28):
don't ever have to remember my birthday, I will. I
will call you on my birthday, and you go ahead
and call me on your birthday. So now on my birthday,
I'll call you. Know, but basically everybody in my everybody
in my phone that I care about, will get some
sort of a phone call to be like, hey, you
never had to remember this.

Speaker 4 (02:47):
Yep, you shouldn't have to. I'm taking that off your plate.

Speaker 3 (02:51):
Right, and so he it would be it's a funny thing.
So Chris would call everyone in his phone book on
his birthday, and then if they didn't call him on
their birthday, he would have no love lost because that's
the rule.

Speaker 4 (03:05):
That's the rule. Like who cares about birthdays?

Speaker 3 (03:09):
Well, clearly, I mean it's.

Speaker 5 (03:11):
And it's it's effectively made my birthday like a very
very busy day that you used to hate a lot.

Speaker 3 (03:19):
I used to loathe it because we would just it
would be Chris on the It's like what Chris was
doing a deal in on Wall Street in the nineties
on his birthday.

Speaker 4 (03:30):
Like he was on the.

Speaker 3 (03:31):
Phone on the floor trying to sell and buy all
day long.

Speaker 4 (03:35):
I'm not kidding you, all day long.

Speaker 3 (03:37):
We would go to dinner for his birthday, and he
would have to step out and just collect these calls
or call people all because you'd go through his imaginic
going through your whole contact list. Here's most people don't
pick up here.

Speaker 4 (03:48):
Here's the Beauty's good. It's good. His birthday celebrations Thursday. Yeah,
actually going to work out. It is because I don't
have I don't have the time.

Speaker 5 (03:57):
So the beauty of it is, like, I'm pretty bad
at keeping up with everybody. I'm pretty bad. I don't
I don't love phone calls. You know, I'm not good
at responding to texts. But this is one day of
the year that I'll just get to say hi to
as many people as I can. And we both have
laughs about it. Sometimes they won't pick up, and then
I just get to leave a message and get to yes.

Speaker 3 (04:19):
But it's, oh, that's sweet.

Speaker 4 (04:20):
There is something beautiful about it that has emerged.

Speaker 1 (04:22):
How many people are you calling?

Speaker 5 (04:24):
You think I don't know my friendship group it's seven
seven thousand.

Speaker 1 (04:29):
Wow, it's a lot thousand.

Speaker 3 (04:31):
It's all day long.

Speaker 4 (04:32):
No, I bet it's the it's in the hundreds.

Speaker 3 (04:34):
Yeah, that's a lot of calls, like a telemarketer all
day long, Yeah, I should get you a little cubicle,
little headset.

Speaker 6 (04:42):
I do the same thing on my birthday at a
Chris does, except I do it the day after and
I call people and go, oh see, you didn't remember.

Speaker 1 (04:50):
My birthday, did you. I'll look at you nothing, not
even a little text.

Speaker 3 (04:55):
How many calls have you gotten today already? Or how
many calls? Wait, zero calls today, but I've in some text?
But how like, aren't there friends that you don't that
you go over a year of not talking to or
not even thinking of that you still.

Speaker 4 (05:06):
Love those people?

Speaker 5 (05:08):
Yes, of course yes, And you know it's like it's
it's sort of a nice thing to have a yearly
check in to be like, hey, we're still buds.

Speaker 3 (05:15):
But some of these people, Chris, you gotta talk like
they're dying to talk to you, right, And they're just
people that like you. There are some people that you
call on your birthday and I know for a fact
you're like, I would love this conversation be four minutes long,
but it ends up being like forty minutes.

Speaker 5 (05:31):
This is the this is the game we're playing. Nothing,
nothing's forty minutes. Nobody does Okay, everybody knows they go hey.
Some of the guys will pick up and be like, hey,
I know you got a bunch of calls. I'll talk
to you later, Okay, cool. Yeah, it's do you.

Speaker 2 (05:44):
Ever get any like passive aggressive responses like oh yeah,
it's been a really it's been like a year since
I've heard from that.

Speaker 5 (05:50):
No. People at this point, if you're if I'm friends
with you, they know they sort of they know the drill,
and they sometimes they it's it's funny. They're like they'll
pick up and make hey man, I'm heard from you
while and I'm like, hey, you know.

Speaker 4 (06:02):
What day it is?

Speaker 5 (06:03):
And they go I forget every year, like they even
forget when they're getting the phone call. Or some people
pick up and be like I know what this is
all about. Yeah, because I don't call anybody. I call
nobody ever.

Speaker 3 (06:13):
But if for somebody who says they don't like birthdays,
you always celebrate mine in such a genuine way. Are
you just doing that because you think it matters to me?
Or like do you I think you somebody? I don't.

Speaker 4 (06:22):
It's not that I don't like birthdays, it's that there
was an era, like you remember when you were in
your like twenties and everybody was so stoked on their birthday.

Speaker 3 (06:29):
Yeah, it's like that was the event of the birthday
month when girls would say, it's my birthday month. Thankfully
that's that ship is sales.

Speaker 4 (06:37):
So that was me taking the power back.

Speaker 3 (06:38):
Yeah, I get what you're saying. It's that was annoying.
I don't like when people tell you my birthdays this
like they like they're they're like people in their thirties
or forties telling you their birthday is this week, like
you're an adult, Like.

Speaker 4 (06:51):
Who cares about your li is insane? Nobody cares.

Speaker 3 (06:54):
It's really weird. It's really weird, and but I think
it is nice. You know what I like about a
calendar year. It is exactly long enough where you go, okay,
it's time to celebrate again, Like it is a perfect
if it was two days, if it was three hundred
and sixty three days, you go, didn't we just do
this forever? It's a perfect amount of time where when

(07:17):
it rolls around again, you go, this is just enough
time that it's time for this again.

Speaker 4 (07:23):
I'm talking Valentine's Day, I'm taking birthdays.

Speaker 3 (07:25):
I'm talking Halloween's Like if you were a month shorter,
like let's say, like a couple of weeks short. Christmas. Yeah,
I don't acknowledge well Christmas, Yeah, Christmas is. I like
Christmas being celebrated a whole month. I like getting into
that spirit. I'm not someone who's like, what, they're already
Christmas music playing. I'm like, yes, it's playing. Let's get

(07:45):
in the spirit. And I know that some people in
this podcast are Jewish and are probably like.

Speaker 2 (07:50):
I love Christmas time, you do. I think Christmas time
is like a Jewish person's favorite time in America at least,
it's so everything's so nice, jolly, and like all of
our holidays are like based off of like sad events
or you know, like she's overcoming something. But I don't know,
just Christmas, I guess I don't really know the full
story behind it, but it just seems like very jolly.

Speaker 1 (08:12):
You don't know the full story behind Christmas.

Speaker 3 (08:17):
Jesus, I don't know what.

Speaker 4 (08:18):
I think.

Speaker 5 (08:19):
This podcast just became the story of Jesus.

Speaker 4 (08:22):
What do you think that if he rose or died.

Speaker 1 (08:25):
Or what do you think Christmas is about?

Speaker 3 (08:29):
Well? One knows.

Speaker 2 (08:31):
Yeah, it's the birth of Jesus. But like the whole
thing with Santa Claus. I don't know how he comes
into the picture.

Speaker 1 (08:36):
Well, that's just a pagan thing, I think.

Speaker 3 (08:38):
Yeah, I don't know about Santa either.

Speaker 6 (08:40):
Every time there's a thing like that is because of
the Pagans. Anything anything that's fun, the Pagan's added it
at some point.

Speaker 4 (08:46):
Yeah, we just took.

Speaker 3 (08:47):
I want to do a little bit of a if
you're listening around children to like turn oh yeah, yeah,
because I will just say that one of my favorite things. Well,
Chris could tell the story, but first I just want
to say I didn't find out about that thing not
being what it was, that man being not that man,

(09:11):
and maybe two people in kahoots until I was in
fifth grade.

Speaker 4 (09:17):
It's something isn't real.

Speaker 3 (09:18):
Yes, but I knew let me just say I knew
it wasn't Probably around fourth grade it was confirmed and
ever for.

Speaker 5 (09:26):
Me, hold on, I'm sorry, who is listening to this
podcast around kids?

Speaker 3 (09:32):
I don't know, Like the people have things on around
their kids to school, and they have it on like
the morning radio. Oh really, yeah, I'm not like talking
about you know, uh d's and b's and BJ's and we.

Speaker 6 (09:46):
Did talk about v's and uh p's and a couple
other letters that certainly a kid, I wouldn't want my
kid hear, and if I had.

Speaker 3 (09:56):
A kid, I'm sorry. Kids should be able to know
about p's and v's, We just should know about them
going into.

Speaker 6 (10:02):
Well, they should also be able to know about SC's
as well.

Speaker 1 (10:06):
Then if they're going to be known about c's, what
you're talking about.

Speaker 3 (10:09):
Oh SC's, Oh yeah, Well, I think that you should
tell your kids about sc like almost immediately and say
there's this thing that a lot of like, I just
think it's the biggest such an I know. And then
they ruin it for everyone, you know what, everyone needs
to ruin it for everyone because it is an amazing
thing to like, like to believe and it's fun. But

(10:31):
it's the same as like kids do kids believe cartoons
are a real world, and is there a moment where
they go, no, it's not real, like they I think
in the beginning they kind of assume that this is
a place that exists, and then that there there's not
a moment wherever we go we have to sit down
and tell you that Barney's not real or like Bluie
isn't real. So why can't we do that with this

(10:53):
where it's like it's just a thing that we talk about,
but we don't like sell it so goddamn hard and
we keep it and then there's this moment where we're like,
we have to tell you Santa's gay, Like we have
to sit you down and be like we have to
you know what I mean, Like we have to tell you,
like it's a coming, Like it's a serious conversation where
your parents are like, we're letting you're becoming an adult
now and we're ruining.

Speaker 6 (11:14):
Yeah, that part weird for you. I wonder at what
age is a good age because if you do it
young enough then because you have to take into account
you don't want your kid to go to school and
be like, guess what, Santa isn't real and all the
other kids cry, and it's just you don't want your
kid to be that kid. And when you're that young,
you can't help it if you have a secret that
juicy come on, so.

Speaker 3 (11:33):
You got to parents are like beating their children while
also being like and Santa's real. They're fighting with their
husband and throwing glasses at him and saying, you motherfucker,
you don't do anything for this family, like screaming and
then they're also like but Sanna comes down the chimney
and like, so kids have to live in this like
really real world where their parents are like just guttural alcoholics.

(11:54):
And I stole that word from Rachel Feinstein. It's not
a real world, but it goes perfect with alcoholic and
where are being screamed out every day and beaten and
in abuse. Like kids live in like this. Some kids
are you know, have to witness horrible things, horrible adult
things before they're ready. But then they Santa's reel and
you go to school and you make little stockings and
you draw turkey in your hand, and it's like, weird,

(12:19):
Why why do we keep this up?

Speaker 6 (12:20):
Are your parents getting are you guys getting divorced? Yeah,
we're getting divorced. But the tooth fairy is still going
to go to bull houses?

Speaker 4 (12:26):
Yes, yes, like when.

Speaker 3 (12:31):
Anyway, my sister found out about the Big O' hoax
in third grade and she came home and my parents
were kept lying to me. I would confront my parents
and say, I know it's not real, Like Dad, it's
not And I would see his foot shake rapidly he
crossed his leg and his foot would shake and he go, Sant,
what do you think it is?

Speaker 4 (12:48):
That's what he asked, what do you think?

Speaker 3 (12:49):
And I go, well, I think it's he's not, and
he go, well he is, and I knew he was lying,
and I was just like, this guy's full of shit.
I can't trust that man for anything. I can't believe
I ever let him take me in a kayak and
a river, like this guy is not trustworthy. And then
I knew he was lying, but I kept it up
for my sister. So then I was vigilant about not
letting my sister watch any adult TV because I thought

(13:09):
adults were gonna give it away all the time. So
I kept up the ruse and let my parents believe
I believed, and then also so my sister would still
believe because she was younger. And so I remember them
all being like, let's watch SNL. Like I was in
fifth grade, my sister's in third and they're like, we're
gonna watch SNL. And I was like, we can't watch
it because I was I knew SNL was adult in comedy,

(13:31):
and I was like, we can't. And I couldn't say
why though to anyone, because I couldn't tell my parents.

Speaker 4 (13:36):
I know so much trauma from Santa Claus so much.

Speaker 3 (13:39):
And then one day my sister came home from third
grade because her teacher, Missus Wright, who was a black woman.
Because in the black community, they do not lie to
those their kids that late, at least in the Saint
Louis black community in the nineties, they are not keep
or whenever. This woman grew up in the Saint Louis
in the nineties, they were not telling their kids into
third grade that Santa was real. So she this black
woman working in a little like white white, you know school,

(14:01):
elementary school. The kids were like, Sanna's coming. And she goes, oh,
sorry to burst your bubble. Kids.

Speaker 4 (14:06):
She said, burst her bubble. I'll never forget it.

Speaker 3 (14:09):
And the parents went fuck. She goes, but Sanna's not real.
The parents went wild. She was nearly fired. My sister
comes home from school, Missus Wright's class in third grade.
My mom's at the sewing machine. I'm sitting there watching
Save by the Bell or some shit. My sister walks
in from the bus and she puts on her back
back and she goes, I know Santa isn't real.

Speaker 4 (14:25):
And my mom goes, well, now you know, and I
go that was it.

Speaker 3 (14:29):
That's it.

Speaker 4 (14:29):
That's all you had to say.

Speaker 3 (14:30):
And I'm kind of heartbroken because now it's kind of
very much confirmed. And I was in fifth grade and
I had fought for Santa and was embarrassed in front
of all my classmates for two years. At that point
fifth grade, Tyler Schoonover was like, Sanna's not real, and
I was just like, yeah, I know, but it, deep
in my heart, I knew that. He was like, it

(14:51):
was just this. It was exhausting, let alone keeping my
sister from being kidnapped with my which my parents also
didn't seem to care about. I was the only one
who seemed to care about that, keeping her safe from pedophiles.
I was obsessed with it and like, wouldn't let her
roam around neighborhood. My parents were like, let her go,
and I'm like, she's gonna get kidnapped. I'm smart enough
not to get kidnapped, but this little girl, she's too trusting.

(15:11):
So I was obsessed with that, and then it all
culminates to me at my sister's wedding.

Speaker 4 (15:16):
Oh I'm a little.

Speaker 5 (15:17):
Confused now because I thought you, I thought your sister
knew Santa was he.

Speaker 3 (15:23):
Was the one that told me and confirmed it, though
I never had real confirmation, but I kind of knew,
you know what I mean, Like I knew that I was.
I was gasolating myself into believing.

Speaker 4 (15:33):
Still, Okay, okay, gotcha.

Speaker 3 (15:35):
Because I no one ever really told me, but I
was like ninety percent sure. And then my sister was
one that was like one hundred percent. Backpack on the floor.
Santa's not real. Done, deal you, Zach Morris?

Speaker 6 (15:45):
If the reverse would be worse? If a parent tells
the kid that Santa Claus is not real and then
does all of these things to try to make it
seem like it's real, like dressed.

Speaker 3 (15:56):
Like track boots through the house and leave ashes and
to all this weird serial killer ship.

Speaker 6 (16:04):
Yeah, but imagine if you're if you see the boots
and you see you're four years old, you see the boots,
you see someone came in and ate a piece of cookie,
and you're like Santa Israel and your parents like, no,
he's not.

Speaker 1 (16:13):
I don't know what you're talking about. Wouldn't that be worse?

Speaker 3 (16:17):
No, it is worse because then you put on your
usual suspects it and you realize your parents have been
doing a lie the entire time, but went to these
and they kind of feel bad because you were, like,
you realize all the times that you never gave parents
your credit for the gifts they got you, and you
were like, Sana killed it this year, Mom, you blew it.
Like this doll you gave me sucks, But this pizza thrower,

(16:38):
teenageing Ninja Turtle's.

Speaker 4 (16:39):
Rules, Sanna nailed it. You blew it, mom, you know.

Speaker 3 (16:44):
Okay, So when we come back, we'll tell you the
story that Chris has about me and Santa. And I'm
sure we put told it on the pod before, but
we need to tell it again because now with Chris.
Oh okay, good, all right, we'll be back after this.
All right, we're back, Chris. So, what happened?

Speaker 5 (17:00):
So Nicky's sister's wedding, Nicki gave whatever what's the speech there?

Speaker 4 (17:07):
I mean the maid of honor speech, Like.

Speaker 3 (17:09):
It was like a reception for a wedding she had
two years prior. That was like a she really shocked
what it was wedding. Yeah, it was just a reception.
There was no ceremony.

Speaker 4 (17:18):
Oh god, I didn't remember it like that.

Speaker 5 (17:19):
Well, Nicki gave a speech at the wedding and during
the wedding, and she said all these wonderful things about Lauren,
but about how she was, you know, you know, more
advanced in some ways, immature or whatever it was. And
one of the things she said at this reception where
there were aunts and aunt's children and uncles children, like
there was kids. There's kids at the wedding. Yeah, Nicky goes,
Lauren found out Santa Claus wasn't real before me, And

(17:43):
like moms were like putting their their heads.

Speaker 4 (17:48):
Some bubbles that day.

Speaker 5 (17:49):
First, many bubbles that in the bathroom and it was controversial.

Speaker 4 (17:53):
Kids were crying in the bathroom. Aunts were mad at NICKI. Yep,
it was. It turned out to be like kind of
the talk of the wedding.

Speaker 3 (18:00):
They had to learn somehow, coffee, They had to learn somehow.
I mean, I was making this point about my sister
being just like always feeling like an older sister me.
She kissed a boy before me, she got a boyfriend
before me, she lost her virgin I didn't say the
virginity part, but that's true too. She was plucking her
eyebrows before me and had to be like, hey, big sis,
get over, your eyebrows are problematic, let's like fix them.

(18:20):
She was always like it more advanced and wore makeup
before me, just knew what to do before me. And
then also the Santa Claus thing I just threw in
not thinking, but you know what, they got to learn somehow,
and this is like, I'll bring it back to something else.
People go like, no, spoiler alert, isn't the shock of
And I know everyone's gonna say, no, it's not. We
want to learn spoilers like in the movie itself the

(18:42):
way the director wanted us to learn the spoiler. But
let's say I tell someone tells me like, oh, the
end of the sixth Sense or whatever is this thing?
Isn't the shock of me finding that out? Then? Also
the same surprise if I would in the movie.

Speaker 5 (18:58):
Not at all, because if you don't know what's happened
and leading up to the sixth the sixth sense is
like the perfect example to not use. That's a good boy,
because the whole movie is completely ruined if you know.

Speaker 3 (19:07):
But I'm like, isn't this a good surprise too? Of
you finding out just from listening overhearing this conversation.

Speaker 4 (19:13):
Isn't that like also pretty.

Speaker 3 (19:14):
Good of like whoa damn you know, like you did.
You have to find out the way everyone else did.
Now you could have a different experience by watching the
whole movie.

Speaker 5 (19:23):
You gave them a gift Christmas came those games.

Speaker 6 (19:31):
You're trying to tell me this all the time that
the last few weeks, and I'm not buying it.

Speaker 1 (19:35):
I'm not buying it. Every time I'm like, no, I
spoiler thing. I need you to spoiler thing.

Speaker 6 (19:39):
Because Nicky's got a lot of spoilers that she's holding
over my head and she's thankfully not giving them up
yet because every time she goes can I just.

Speaker 3 (19:47):
Tell you I like spoiling things for people? I really don't,
but I do argue that when they come out, I go,
aren't you surprised now, just in the same way you
would be then, Like, just in this moment, instead of
being mad at me.

Speaker 2 (19:56):
I wanted to defend Nikki on this because we do
drop a lot of spoilers on this podcast, and some
people take the spoiler alert. Some people are like, oh,
they give away too much of plot. If a TV
show or a movie is good, then the spoilers won't matter.
You would still enjoy it.

Speaker 5 (20:14):
Like there's something I forget there's something unforgettable about that
moment in Sixth Sense, or there's a moment in The Departed.
There's just there's something that they the director intended, Like
Brian said that that that we were led into on
purpose to elicit a certain reaction, and that that is
something that is stolen no matter what if there is

(20:36):
a spoiler on a show. Now, some spoilers aren't that
big of a deal and don't ruin anything, right, you know.
But if you're like, oh, this character dies and you're like, hey,
you'll get that feeling early and early on the movie anyway,
well then fine.

Speaker 6 (20:52):
But like spoiler alerts, did you guys know that? And
dude wears my car? They don't find the car.

Speaker 3 (21:00):
I kind of forget that. But if something happens within
the first half hour of the movie, it's not a spoiler.
Shut up, like this is that's not I don't think
that that's something that people should be able to get
mad about.

Speaker 5 (21:12):
Spoiler alert dude wears my car only movie I've ever
walked out on.

Speaker 3 (21:16):
Really, yeah, I thought it was pretty funny.

Speaker 5 (21:19):
Were you Just Like when I was with a bunch
of friends and they were like, this is terrible, we're
out of here and I and I was just like, Okay,
I guess we're leaving, and they got up to leave
and I will.

Speaker 3 (21:29):
Santa isn't really.

Speaker 4 (21:32):
And then I never. I never.

Speaker 5 (21:34):
I've never walked out of a movie since then, because
I was like, this feels wrong.

Speaker 3 (21:39):
I have trivia for Noah, Noah, what's the last movie
I walked out of? I've probably said it so many
times that I would think, you know, and if you
don't know, then I'll say it again, because this is
the test of if something's been said too many times
on the podcast, you know what, I feel like I
know so much about you, but I don't remember this fact.
Horrible Bosses was the last time I walked out of him.
I was so mad about it because I'm like, just

(22:00):
quit your boss sucks.

Speaker 4 (22:04):
This is the I know.

Speaker 3 (22:05):
This is like the thing of like just call him,
you know, like when people are in movies where you
go you don't have to just go, you know, take
a train in the middle of the night to tell
him you love him, just like call him and then
the movie would be over with these easy fixes. But
that movie, I was like, stop killing your boss, just
just quit and I didn't like Jennifer Aniston being so

(22:25):
sexual I like need It was me being like puritanical
about her, of like, I don't like her being such
an evil sex pot, right, I just need her the
way that I want her. And for whatever reason, it
bugged me. And also dinner for schmucks. I almost didn't
make it through, but I did stay. But I will
walk out of a movie without any problem, No way.

Speaker 1 (22:45):
I rarely, rarely ever walk out of movie.

Speaker 6 (22:48):
In fact, I can only remember walking out of one
movie ever, and it is how long ago?

Speaker 1 (22:54):
Was it came out in?

Speaker 5 (22:57):
Uh?

Speaker 1 (22:57):
It came out in two thousand and four?

Speaker 3 (23:01):
So I was like a teenager trying to guess what
it is?

Speaker 1 (23:03):
Yeah, yeah, go ahead, Okay.

Speaker 3 (23:06):
Is it a comedy?

Speaker 4 (23:07):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (23:09):
Is it starring a is it? Does it pass the
Bechdel test?

Speaker 4 (23:14):
No way? Two thousand chicken?

Speaker 1 (23:17):
Probably not.

Speaker 6 (23:18):
I kind of remember us with my high school friends,
and I remember we all decided we're gonna we're gonna
walk out old school.

Speaker 1 (23:24):
No.

Speaker 4 (23:26):
Does it star someone that is in old school? Is
it embarrassing? Now?

Speaker 3 (23:33):
That?

Speaker 4 (23:33):
Is it like a classic?

Speaker 2 (23:34):
Now?

Speaker 1 (23:34):
No?

Speaker 6 (23:35):
I actually you probably should stop guessing, because I doubtly
even remember this movie.

Speaker 1 (23:40):
It is called Welcome to Mooseport.

Speaker 6 (23:43):
No, that it was Ray Romano's attempt at making a
full feature length film Ray Gene Hackman, and man, I
was like, I can't even believe this is on a screen,
Like how does this make it to the screen?

Speaker 5 (24:00):
Of course that was that was Peek Romano though, right, yeah,
that was like everybody loves Raymonds.

Speaker 3 (24:05):
Yeah, everyone loved him.

Speaker 4 (24:08):
But except for Brian.

Speaker 3 (24:10):
I just like, of course, Chris, I don't think you
walk out of things. You're a completionist, You like will
finish something. Because suits, have you talked?

Speaker 4 (24:21):
Have you guys talked about suits on this podcast?

Speaker 2 (24:22):
I think we have you watching suits. We know you
watched four days of television.

Speaker 3 (24:28):
Chris is not added up suits amount of days.

Speaker 4 (24:33):
Chris is not alone millions it is.

Speaker 6 (24:36):
It is one of the most watched shows on Netflix
right now. It's crazy and I don't even want to
talk about it because I don't want to continue promoting
this show.

Speaker 1 (24:45):
I mean, it just feels like insane.

Speaker 3 (24:48):
The one thing I'll say that I love when whenever
suits comes up on Chris's show, The Courtney Show, which
is a podcast I listened to every freaking day, and
I love it so much. But when Suits comes up
on there there's someone that like knew is watching it
or something because Chris gets people into suits because it's
what did you say, It's the center of television kind
of like Nxbox twenty is the center of me.

Speaker 5 (25:07):
It's yes, there is like Okay, when you think about suits,
you think, is this this is like one of those
USA shows characters welcome. You look at it and you're like,
is this Franklin and Bash or or like the doctor
on like they moved to the Hamptons, but but he
got like disbarred, but he like helps rich people like
be okay, psych psych. Yeah, notice now you think like, okay,

(25:30):
you look at Susan you say, this is just another
one of those terrible shows that of course I would
never like.

Speaker 4 (25:36):
But if you guys have time for a mini story.

Speaker 3 (25:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (25:39):
The way I got into it because I looked at
it the same way. I was like, this is going
to be terrible, and I just wrote it off as
like just a cheesy show. So I was, you know,
in twenty seventeen or something. Nicki and I had broken
up at that point and I was in the I
was in Dubai working for.

Speaker 4 (25:56):
A little while.

Speaker 3 (25:56):
What were you not in Nabu Dhabi for a Nabu
jab I.

Speaker 5 (25:58):
Was in n Abu Dhab actually, so it's an Abu
Dhabi for what I'm on bumble for what for Abu Jabi?

Speaker 4 (26:04):
Okay, complete the sentence.

Speaker 5 (26:06):
I'm on bumble. I meet this girl. We hit it
off a little bit over text.

Speaker 3 (26:11):
Yeah, whoa what just what made you swipe right on her?
Was it just her smile? Yes?

Speaker 5 (26:19):
She seemed like she had a good personality fun I'm
a personality guy, as you guys can tell. Everybody knows
I'm a personality guy. So we so we start talking
and I don't know, we get to something where I
was like, I was dead. I was like really into
Game of Thrones at the time. Brian and I used
to have Game of Thrones watch parties. Nicky Nicky was
there and would like tolerate it and and bespected perspect

(26:41):
you did respect it, which so I was just so
into Game of Thrones, was before Game of Thrones stunk.
And she's she's mentioned something about suits because I guess
we talked about what TV shows. If we're if I'm
if I'm matching with you on bumble I'm getting to
TV shows at like the fourth text, probably just because
I've got nothing else.

Speaker 4 (27:01):
It's all I do.

Speaker 5 (27:02):
Anyway, I say there's some sort of bet where she
says I will like Suits more than she would like
whatever show I come up with. So I was like,
you will like Game of Thrones more than I will
like Suits. And I was like, okay, bets on, and
I take bets pretty seriously.

Speaker 3 (27:18):
Yes, he does.

Speaker 4 (27:18):
I get into it.

Speaker 5 (27:19):
And so I started watching Suits immediately, and like a
week later, I finished the first season of Suits, and
she followed up with her follow up whether she never
even watched one single episode of Game of Thrones, and
so I but by the end of the season, I
was like, you win already. You will not like Game
of Thrones as much as I like because you liked it.

(27:40):
I definitely was like, I can watch this entire thing.

Speaker 6 (27:43):
Are there like focusing on the episodes because it isn't
it like a procedural in the background type show. I
mean they're like an hour episode, right, Yeah? Yeah, I
would say that.

Speaker 5 (27:54):
You know, I was an Abu Dhabi for an Abu Jabi,
and you know, like you had a lot of time
on your hands to watch did you.

Speaker 3 (28:02):
Say it was your abu hobby. It was not a
hobby to watch suits? You didn't have much else to it? Yeah, yeah,
no I liked it.

Speaker 5 (28:13):
My point is, don't overlook suits just because you're like
too cool like I.

Speaker 3 (28:17):
You know, no, I want to start it too. Don't
overlook suits. Hey, what about this? Because you don't like
Meghan Markle? And you know what, maybe you don't like
Meghan Markle because why, Chris.

Speaker 5 (28:28):
There's a smear campaign by the deep state, the British
Royal family.

Speaker 3 (28:34):
Yes, if you investigate why you don't like Meghan Markle,
you come up dry. Bitches.

Speaker 4 (28:39):
You come up dry because you.

Speaker 3 (28:41):
Don't really know. It just seeped into your pores. You
don't even know why. Oh, because she's stuck up. Why
do you think that I'm pissed about it? I don't
like it. I'm so tired of people. You know. I
was listening to your podcast the other day and there
was a guy on who like, should not have any

(29:01):
opinion about the Royal family. He's an older man that
was in radio uh back with Courtney. His name's Guy Phillips.
He's a great radio guy. But he even said, I'm
watching suits and I love it even though I'm not.
I don't care for Megan Markle very much. And I'm like,
why does this sixty something year old man have an
opinion a negative opinion about Megan Markle.

Speaker 4 (29:18):
It's because the Royal family.

Speaker 3 (29:20):
One they've seeped and she is a nice girl. She
just fell in love with this guy. She didn't try
to root And why does any American give a fuck
about the Royal goddamn family. He's shut up about it.
Why do you care? So I understand Brits like having
this work. I don't understand this because it's it's it's
almost like growing up in a church, like of scientology,

(29:42):
Like it's just they're brainwashed into Karen.

Speaker 4 (29:45):
It is weird.

Speaker 3 (29:45):
I can't help it.

Speaker 5 (29:46):
The idea that there is a queen of another country
on your money, like for Canadians and Australians.

Speaker 4 (29:54):
Australians.

Speaker 5 (29:55):
Australians are like, you know, they're very laid back people
and they're not worried about it. But from from our
perspective to be like, you've got the Queen of England
on your money, yes, this is bizarre.

Speaker 3 (30:06):
And then I love Doug stan Hope's point about like well,
the British people always say, yeah, it's the royal family,
but they don't really have a say in politics or anything.
It's like, well, then why do you fuck them? Their
defense is always like but they don't really do anything.
It's like, well, then what is going on here?

Speaker 4 (30:21):
People should google Doug stan Hopes stand Oh.

Speaker 3 (30:24):
I played it on the podcast before Ages Ago, and
we have a lot of new fans since then. So
if you haven't heard it, go listen to Doug stand
Hopes rant against the Royal Family. It really like solidifies
how I feel.

Speaker 5 (30:33):
But to close the loop on suits close listen. I'm
not saying everybody's gonna love it. I'm saying give it
a shot because you might casually like it and be
surprised by it. There's good like there's like if you
like watching shows where there's like a good looking people
that you can like kind of have a crush on,
there's there's somebody for everybody.

Speaker 3 (30:51):
Oh that's cute. I like that. Yeah, who are you
crushing on?

Speaker 4 (30:55):
Markle? You are a Mark Mark?

Speaker 3 (30:57):
When I the Royal Family got me, I used to
be a Mark, like a skeptic Marko's charming on the show,
and I used to be like, Oh, do you like
mak him because he likes suits before anyone else, And
I go, oh, is she like so hot? Like you're
probably so into her. I was like kind of jealous,
And now I'm obsessed with her and I think she's
the coolest and the smartest, and I really am just
such an advocate of spreading the word about how great

(31:19):
she is. She was recently seen at the Beyonce concert
and people were just like, oh you at Beyonce. It's
like she can't do anything and people.

Speaker 4 (31:27):
Are gonna be mad.

Speaker 3 (31:28):
Although I will say I saw a clip of Timothy
Schalomey spoiler alert with Kylie Jenner. They made their first
public appearance together at the Beyonce concert, either yesterday or
the day before, and he was smoking a cigarette in
the Sofi Center and ashing over the ledge, which I
found to be insane. But they're they're out and they're together,

(31:49):
and that's weird.

Speaker 4 (31:50):
It seems so bizarre. Yeah, it makes it like I
remember when.

Speaker 6 (31:53):
Kylie Jenner is part of the other royal family. Yeah,
that people care about.

Speaker 3 (31:58):
But people, well, that's the weirdest one too, because people
seem to like always hate the Kardashians. But then why
are they so popular? You know, like everyone seems to
just not like them, but we can't stop consuming them.

Speaker 4 (32:11):
Right at the end.

Speaker 5 (32:12):
I mean it's like Brian said, it's they're like the
They're like an American royal family. Yeah, that's true, But
I like shallow may I'm a shallow may Man.

Speaker 2 (32:21):
Together, I was enchanted by, like, how people so famous?
Yeah you think it was Instagram?

Speaker 3 (32:27):
Yep. I think it's always dms for celebs, or it's
like you know, or they're friends of a friend, gives
a text or something, or.

Speaker 4 (32:36):
They're like backstage at fashion week.

Speaker 3 (32:39):
That's it. That's one hundred percent backstage at fashion week.
It's always stage at fashion week. Oh my god, that's
so true. It's so cute to me to picture Chris
on the apps. Do you ever think about your boyfriend
like being out there, like trying to meet people, like
just like being like, I think it's adorable. Just you
were like swiping and like had to make first moves,

(33:02):
like and like just do cute things and like have
a one liner like to get in, and then you
were talking about suits and making bets. I think it's
so adorable. Where's that spark. Go.

Speaker 5 (33:11):
Yeah, I think it's when you call me adorable and cute.

Speaker 3 (33:16):
It's so cute.

Speaker 4 (33:18):
No, you don't like me call cute. It's I didn't
think it's patronizing.

Speaker 3 (33:22):
Yes, really, yeah, oh I think it's it's I think it.
I don't mean it that way like makes it. It's
endearing to me. Like how when you were just a
single guy. I like that guy.

Speaker 6 (33:35):
I understand it because you're like rooting for the person
and they're like in a vulnerable position trying to find someone,
and you really want them to succeed, and you're like
I can help you, but I'm not there to help you.

Speaker 4 (33:46):
You guys, I think are looking at it from a
different perspective.

Speaker 3 (33:48):
He's just a hardy guy and a.

Speaker 4 (33:54):
Girlfriend. He was not like Brian.

Speaker 5 (33:57):
What you guys are saying like, it's more just like oh,
I'm bored and don't know anybody in Abu Dabi, like
let's see what's going on.

Speaker 3 (34:04):
You know why I like it, Chris, it's because for me,
when I first met you, I would have never thought
when we broke up the first time, I would have
never thought.

Speaker 4 (34:11):
You would get on the apps.

Speaker 3 (34:12):
Because you're a guy who like doesn't do what everyone
seems to do. And so when I found out you
were on the apps, I was just like, wait, you
made a profile and had to like scroll to find
your age.

Speaker 4 (34:24):
You had to like answer these like hinch youah.

Speaker 5 (34:29):
My profile was blank forever. I think my profile just
said like, you know something, just like one thing that.

Speaker 3 (34:34):
I like, like pizza.

Speaker 5 (34:35):
Oh, I think it's as soft rock. I just had
no profile anything.

Speaker 3 (34:39):
Yeah, because I was just like this, because you got
a face that.

Speaker 5 (34:41):
Can carry thing that is about. This is humiliating, it
really is. And I think I think I wrote maybe
for a while, something like not as tall as I look, right, something,
something to take it down a notch.

Speaker 3 (34:52):
Yeah, literally, yeah, a few notches. So Chris is visiting
in today's birthday. We have a special thing planned on Thursday.

Speaker 4 (35:02):
I like how you say we like it's like.

Speaker 3 (35:05):
We're both doing it. We're both going does Chris know
what it is? No, No, it's gonna be a surprise.
But before that, we're going to look at dogs.

Speaker 4 (35:17):
We it's your birthday present.

Speaker 3 (35:19):
I know. I was like, for your birthday, we're gonna
go do something. We're gonna go look at dogs and shelter.
She just texted me about it. Actually, the girl that's
helping us look for dogs because last Natalie for Mayday Rescue,
Natalie for oh yeah, she's been on the podcast before.
Natalie from Mayday Rescue is going to go meet us
and we're gonna make maybe make a video at the
shelter with some dogs and give them.

Speaker 4 (35:40):
They'll be like, oh, I'm going home.

Speaker 3 (35:41):
We're like, no, we're making a video with you, bitch,
get over here and go back in your cage. Just
using you for content.

Speaker 5 (35:46):
If people like like, that's like half the reason I
got on social media was to like look at the
Dodo and things like that. So people like, you know,
dog rescue people should follow may Day Rescue.

Speaker 3 (35:57):
Yeah, she does a really good job of place animals.
And it's just so nice when you see a little
scruffy dog that is covered in like a bath mat
of fur, and then they look like a different dog
once they get a makeover, and then they end up
happy on a couch licking someone's face. Scosted.

Speaker 6 (36:13):
Yes.

Speaker 3 (36:14):
So the other day, though I got really close on
a dog, I didn't even tell the girls chat because
I'm tired of like, the last time I got close
on the dog, I like announced on the girl's chat
and then I had to like tell everyone that I
didn't get it, and it was just so sad. It's
I don't mean to relate it to people telling people
they're pregnant and then losing a pregnancy, but it just

(36:35):
it's it's felt.

Speaker 4 (36:35):
The closest I've ever gotten to that.

Speaker 3 (36:37):
What was that.

Speaker 2 (36:38):
That's exactly what I thought of. I was like, Oh,
she's just it's like having a miscarriage. It felt like
that's the closest version.

Speaker 4 (36:48):
It is so funny. So I don't mean, please know that.

Speaker 3 (36:52):
I don't. I don't think it's the same at all.
But it's like the closest I've been able to feel
to that where I like start like looking at dog
toys and stuff and like imagining the future of my
life with this animal by my side. And I'll say
that like I can see the animal. It's not like
I like it's there. I met it, I hugged it,

(37:12):
I carried it. I like it licked my face. I
thought I had it. So last week on Tuesday, a
woman died and the next day her or that night,
her friend posted on Instagram, I need to find a
place where my best friend died last night. It's so tragic,
like it was. She had a heart condition and she

(37:33):
went in to go have a thing put in and
it didn't work out, and she she died tragically. And
she had a five year old dog. I'm looking, I know,
it's so sad, but she but the doc I will
say that the there was she went into the thing knowing,
like I think it was like a twenty five percent
chance that it was maybe gonna end this way, so

(37:56):
it wasn't completely like, which is still tragic. I mean,
you would think you have a seventy five percent chance
of it. It was awful. It's awful, but people die.
It's part of the story. I'm not trying to make
it about that, or I'm not also trying to not
make it about that because someone died in the story.
But her dog was then you know, didn't have an owner,

(38:16):
so they Her best friend put this picture of this
dog online and then it got posted by someone else,
and then Anya saw it and she sent it to
me and she was like, this dog seems to like
meet all of your needs. It's this many pounds, it's
this it's five years old, it's cute. And it does.
It seems to not have a barking problem or this

(38:37):
like some perfect dog. So I went and I messaged
the woman immediately. I asked Chris first, and I was like,
this dog seems kind of perfect. Do you think we
could maybe do this? And then you said, you know,
go for it, and I was like thanks. And then
I wrote to the woman and I said, listen, I
travel a lot. I want a dog that I can
travel with. So I just want to be upfront, like,
this dog is going to travel, because some people might

(38:58):
not want that for their dog. Just say that if
you don't want your dog to travel, this is the
because then she wrote back and said, we don't want
this dog to travel and sorry, we're gonna meet other people,
but thank you so much for your interest, very polite
about it. And I was really like, oh, sad about it.
And then I was like, wait, I feel like I

(39:19):
don't know, I feel like I can convince this woman
because I'm not I'm not gonna do something to a
dog that's gonna make this dog's life worse than someone else.
I'm giving this I would give the dog the best
life possible because just because it travels with me, I
do a thing.

Speaker 4 (39:31):
You're putting the dog under the plane. Yes, I think
sometimes that's yeah, you're so right.

Speaker 3 (39:37):
So I made that very I said, I'm just gonna shoot,
want my shot one more time.

Speaker 4 (39:40):
I'm sorry to bother you.

Speaker 3 (39:41):
I know you're grieving and like, I don't want you
to have to read a bunch of text, but I'm
just saying, if you the fact that it would travel
with me means it would travel under the seat in
a carrier. It would be I would be checking on
it constantly. It would be safe. I've traveled with dogs before.
I would never do anything to an animal that would
cause it anxiety if it does. If it would have
anxiety and wasn't go traveling, it would stay with my boyfriend,
or it'd stay with my family who has dogs. It

(40:03):
would always have people to take care of it. And
I said, here's the other thing. It sounds like it's
a bad deal with this dog traveling all the time,
But what that means is I don't have an office job.
I'm not leaving my dog alone in a cage seven
hours a day, which I guarantee you whoever this dog
ends up with, it's gonna spend a lot more time
alone than what if it was with me, And maybe

(40:23):
that's what they want for the dog is like it's
okay being alone, because it turns out this dog, I
guess is okay being alone. But I was like, this
dog will never be alone. I'll always be with it.
It will it's tiny, it will always be with me.
And if it's not alone, I don't leave. I don't
allow my dogs to be alone for more than three hours.
I would never. That's like the most before I had
someone come and walk them or something. And if you
leave your dog alone for more than that time, I

(40:45):
don't think you're a bad person. You do what you can.
But I don't believe dogs should be left in cages
at home alone for more than like I think the
I would say, Pete says, like more than five minutes.

Speaker 5 (40:55):
But some people leave it at home, not in a
cage for a law periods of time.

Speaker 3 (41:01):
Yes, but sometimes they like the cage, like and they
need the cage like the dog likes the cage. Yeah.
So I don't mean to say I'm adding cage to
sound worse, but sometimes I mean that's like a better
scenario than just like on your couch. But some I've
heard people leaving seven or eight hours and the dog
just has to like hold it. And I think it
gets worse than that. When people have you, you just

(41:21):
are a little bit more negligent. I think it can
be worse. So I was just saying, like, this dog
will always be with someone. So she then reconsidered and said, yeah,
come meet it. Actually this is you know. I plued
my case and I said, I'm I'm a vegan because
of animal rights, Like I'm not going to ever make
this a dog feel unsafe or have anxiety, Like I
will do everything to make it comfortable one hundred percent
of the time. And she she bought it. Man, she

(41:44):
bought it now. So she let me go meet it
and I held it and it was so cute and
so nice, and I loved it so much and it
was so calm and sweet, and I you know it,
I just I loved it immediately, and I was like,
this dog is like this is happening. Because the girl,
the woman was really cool and she's a writer. We

(42:04):
connected and I just felt like we had a good talk.
She also we were talking about having kids and how
I'm like, I don't plan on having kids, and she
was like, she gave me some advice on that, which
was really awesome, but I don't want to say what
it was in case she hears this and she's like,
you betrayed my trust by I'm not revealing who this
woman is. But she was awesome and we connected. We
walked the dog and I felt like, Oh, this is
gonna happen. And then I was on the treadmill like

(42:28):
an hour later, and like in the middle of a workout,
I just get a call and I'm like, oh, and
then I get them. I let it go because I
was like panting at the time like a dog. And
then she was like, she was like, I'm nearly crying
because I have to tell you. We are just we
want the dog to be local, because I guess the
woman's family wants to maybe like see the dog and
they don't want to be all the way in Saint Louis.

(42:48):
So I didn't get the dog, and I was so
sad for like a day because it was only like
a day that I thought it was less than a
day that I thought I was going to get it,
So it wasn't like super seeped into my consciousness.

Speaker 5 (42:58):
But I was like, but I had like the fact
that you were going to see it, like I had
already started like being like, okay, our life with Hobbs, Yes,
And I was excited about.

Speaker 4 (43:07):
It, I know, and we had to talk about what
we had a time.

Speaker 5 (43:10):
I almost messaged that lady to be like, hey, you're
doing the right thing by seeing NICKI, like, because you
know Luigi. The first day that Nikki had Luigi, you know,
everybody said it was a mistake.

Speaker 4 (43:22):
Luigi was like.

Speaker 5 (43:24):
Scared and barking, and then and then and then bit
Nicki and and like we were like what is going on?

Speaker 3 (43:29):
And she was like you were just you would have
been like this dog, there's nothing. It's going to be
troubled the whole time in a corner, shivering all day long.

Speaker 4 (43:37):
And you're like, this is a disaster.

Speaker 5 (43:38):
And Nikki loved it into being submission, into submission.

Speaker 4 (43:46):
Luigi's like the great It's just the greatest dog.

Speaker 5 (43:48):
And then Nikki did it again with Mary, and so
I wanted to tell this lady like, hey, Nicky's gonna
love this thing, like in a way that's extraordinary and
it's gonna have an amazing life. But I also understand, like,
you know, if that if that woman who died has
siblings and that dog makes them feel close to their sister,
then it's like, okay, I as hard as it is, Yeah,

(44:11):
that he's not he doesn't get to be ours. It's like, Okay,
this guy's this. This dog might give these people comfort
over the next few years, but it's still hard.

Speaker 3 (44:19):
I put my woman, I put myself in that woman's
shoes or like the brother's shoes of the woman who died.

Speaker 4 (44:24):
That you're gonna say I put my woman pants on.

Speaker 3 (44:26):
I did put my woman pants on that day.

Speaker 4 (44:29):
I hate I hate it when people say.

Speaker 3 (44:31):
I was embarrassed because when I met when I met
the dog, I was We were like, it was very
hot outside. We were on the sidewalk and we sat
down on this like you know, gray pavement to like
play with the dog. And when we got up, I
had sweat so much so that there was like wet
stains all over the ground and it looked like I
had like pissed everywhere, but it was just me sweating,
and the woman had left no stains, so it looked

(44:51):
like I could just like so I might have not
gotten the dog because I had a puppy pad problem
and but I did, Like I think, you know, if
my sister died and all I had was her dog
and I had I couldn't take it, but I wanted
it to find a home. I'd want the dog in
Saint Louis. I wouldn't want it to go to California. Yes,
like I just even if I wasn't gonna see the dog,
because I don't think the guy is going to visit

(45:13):
the dog, I would just want it in the vicinity.
It's like you just gotta and so, and I always
believe everything happens for a reason, and like there is
now there's a dog out there that I wouldn't have
that I'm gonna get. And when I get it, I'm
going to be like, I can't believe I almost didn't
have you. And I know that dog is out there
right now, shivering in a cage somewhere.

Speaker 4 (45:33):
Oh yeah, there is.

Speaker 3 (45:34):
That's what.

Speaker 2 (45:35):
Also, you and Chris had a conversation about having a
dog because you guys are living together now.

Speaker 3 (45:40):
Yes, we had a conversation for that.

Speaker 5 (45:43):
That's exactly right, Like we're we wouldn't have had the
conversation if it wasn't for this dog.

Speaker 4 (45:47):
And now we're ready for whatever that next.

Speaker 3 (45:50):
Yeah, we had a really good talk about like what
the expectations were with the dog. Like all I wanted
Chris to say was like, I just with Luigi Marian
it was always Nicky's dogs, even though he was like
very present in their lives, and it always kind of
like I just was like, man, I want it to
be our dog, you know, like I just want him
to say my dog, and like then I have this

(46:10):
thing with the person I love, like that gives me
kind of the thing maybe that a maternal instinct where
you're like making something with someone and so for this,
I was like, you'll be just as accountable as you
were with Luigian Marian, which was like very helpful, but
not the not the number one Like I'm always I
will do the most of the work because I that's
what I want to do. I really do, Like I

(46:31):
want if I'm getting this dog, like I know that
I'm taking responsibility for it, but will you just say
our when you.

Speaker 4 (46:36):
Say it on the radio.

Speaker 3 (46:38):
And he was like yeah, I can do that, and
aw And Chris is also the as I've said on
the podcast a million times, the best part about him
is like if I ever need anything. This guy does
it literally anything. Uh, he will make sure it happens
with no questions asked. No, like you forgot that, I
gotta mail it?

Speaker 4 (46:58):
Like no, I always thought the best part about me
was my jawline.

Speaker 3 (47:01):
I mean, you're forty two now, baby, I know it's
not looking.

Speaker 4 (47:05):
No, your jawlines has never been better.

Speaker 3 (47:06):
Actually, I took a picture of you last night that
really made me laugh where he looked like he was
just making a bad face and I was like, happy birthday, baby.

Speaker 4 (47:13):
I love his smile.

Speaker 3 (47:18):
It was so funny. But no, I I grew up
in a house no offense, dad, if you're listening, But
like and my mom too, where every like if something
if like my mom forgot something at home and they
were trying, it'd be like, Julie, why did you forget that?
Or like e j, you should have remembered the fucking
garage door. And it's like, ah, I did not repeat that.

(47:42):
In my relationship, I have a relationship with someone who
doesn't go like why did you do this? Like it's
always just like okay, we can go back. Oh that's
it's like it's like a compassionate, like that sucks, but
like we'll take care of it. It's not like a
punishing What were you gonna say, Well.

Speaker 5 (47:57):
No, I thought I thought you were gonna say that.
I was really responsible. And when I was here last time, Brian,
do you know this. I ran out of gas in
Nicky's car. Heard it's not his fault though I've never
run out of gas before. The car was faulty. I've
never been in a car that ran out of the
car is faulty.

Speaker 3 (48:12):
You saw it.

Speaker 4 (48:13):
No, it is.

Speaker 5 (48:14):
It's not as like obvious as when other cars run
out of gas.

Speaker 3 (48:18):
It tells you what's set when you have seventy miles
left and then it abandoned the there was no other
warning until you're out of gas.

Speaker 4 (48:25):
That's a faulty Mercedes. And Nicky was up. So we
started the car and I was like, I gotta throw
some stuff away. You're going to see Barbie.

Speaker 5 (48:32):
So I drove, like, you know, like twenty feet away
in the parking lot where there was a trash can,
and I went and put I put something in the
trash can, and I came back in the car with.

Speaker 3 (48:40):
The car starts like shuddering, like it's about to start sobbing.
It's like.

Speaker 4 (48:45):
And I'm like, what's happening? The car's going like and
then all of a sudden, damn, and I was just
in disiplaine, and.

Speaker 3 (48:52):
I go, did someone go to the Reagan Museum a
little time?

Speaker 1 (48:58):
I went to the seventy miles? It's not enough.

Speaker 6 (49:03):
No, It's like telling your kids when they're six that
they're going to hit puberty one day, and then when
they turn thirteen, you're just like, what are you talking about?

Speaker 4 (49:11):
Yeah, it's like, what's happening here?

Speaker 3 (49:12):
And so today Chris was like, when you have to
work today, like, uh, maybe I can just I can
go do my own thing. And I go, uh huh,
just s up, keep an eye on that gas gauge.
Happy birthday, all right. We're gonna take a break and
come back after this. And we're back. So does anyone

(49:34):
know anyone who's at Burning Man right now?

Speaker 1 (49:38):
I mean I don't, but yeah we do.

Speaker 4 (49:40):
We do know people. You just don't know that they're.

Speaker 1 (49:42):
Yeah, you just don't know that they're there. There's seventy thousand.

Speaker 4 (49:44):
This guy Glenn has got to be there. Mike is there.

Speaker 3 (49:46):
Yeah, but I feel like, yeah, definitely, A dude named
A couple guys named Glenn, are there for sure?

Speaker 4 (49:53):
You're right.

Speaker 6 (49:53):
You know.

Speaker 3 (49:54):
It's surprising though that you don't know anyone, like off
the top of your head who's at Burning Man, because
it seems to be the kind of thing that people
talk about all the time.

Speaker 5 (50:02):
If they're going, oh, yeah, it's like it's a CrossFit
or yeah, birthdays.

Speaker 1 (50:07):
So you know what happened at burning Man, right, rain?

Speaker 6 (50:10):
Yeah, so everyone got rained for days and then it
got all muddy and then people one person died and
people weren't allowed to leave Burning Man.

Speaker 4 (50:21):
It's that it could be like drug related.

Speaker 1 (50:23):
Or sure somebody died, but they.

Speaker 3 (50:25):
Someone think at least one person a year died. Yes,
it does.

Speaker 6 (50:31):
Seventy thousands people doing drugs in the desert. I mean,
it seems like there would at least five deaths a year.

Speaker 5 (50:37):
But it's like, what it's like the Kalis's wedding.

Speaker 4 (50:42):
What do they say. It's like, if I.

Speaker 6 (50:44):
At least yes, if at least two people don't die,
it's a dull affair and a doth Raki wedding.

Speaker 1 (50:49):
That's a Game of Thrones lore.

Speaker 6 (50:53):
Spoiler alert. Several people die at the doth Raky wedding,
and is.

Speaker 3 (50:57):
That the Red Wedding. I saw the Red Wedding.

Speaker 5 (50:59):
That's not that's a real spoiler, but that's Ago cal Drogo.

Speaker 4 (51:03):
Was she topless for it? No, she was topless that night. Cool.

Speaker 3 (51:08):
Nice, nice.

Speaker 6 (51:10):
So it rained a lot at burning Man and it
got really muddy and it got so muddy that they
had to shelter in place and they weren't allowed to
drive home. So some people including Chris Rock and Diplo,
had to walk six miles in the mud to leave
burning Man. Which I know it's in the mud, so
that makes it more difficult, but walking in a six mile.

Speaker 1 (51:33):
Hike is not that long, not at all.

Speaker 6 (51:36):
But still people were then posting to social media like
it was more like a flex and like a and
it's also like.

Speaker 3 (51:43):
A straight line. It's not like they're going through mountains, right.

Speaker 6 (51:45):
Yeah, but with the mud, I can understand it being
a little difficult. They probably didn't have like proper gear
to like hike, but like six miles you could do,
you know, in like a half a day.

Speaker 1 (51:56):
And people were like posting.

Speaker 6 (51:59):
On Instagram and the other social media that like this.
They were like refugees from Syria, you know, they did
they just got out.

Speaker 1 (52:08):
And also how.

Speaker 6 (52:09):
Amazing transformative experience it was, and like they were expecting
to get some sort of what's the word, uh, people
people caring about this people, what's the word trying.

Speaker 1 (52:22):
To think of?

Speaker 4 (52:22):
Oh yeah, female sympathy.

Speaker 6 (52:23):
They're trying to get some sympathy for this and and
try to seem cool. But instead everyone's just like fuck you,
fuck you, fucking losers.

Speaker 5 (52:32):
They are gonna be insufferable every all seventy thousand people
that were at this thing. It's it is gonna be
like we're gonna hear stories about it for the rest
of our lives. We're never gonna get to We're never
gonna hear the end of like.

Speaker 6 (52:45):
Oh I was at the burning Man well, and imagine
next year is burning Man when you have new when
you have people at burning Man next year and they're like, yeah,
but I was at the one last year. It was
when we were in the Mud, and when I'm a
better person than you because I was in the Mud one,
it's just gonna be I.

Speaker 2 (53:00):
Don't know if this is true or not because I
read it on Reddit, but apparently there is a private
plane at burning Man that people take just so they
could join the Mile High Club. It's like one of
the attractions there. Sure, that's like, come back down. Yeah,
it's just a theme park.

Speaker 6 (53:19):
It's become like maybe in the eighties when they started
Burning Man, it was like just a bunch of hippies
trying to figure their shit out. But now it is
just a theme park for the rich where people not
everyone's not.

Speaker 3 (53:32):
It does sound transformative and fun. I've been sold on
it slightly by people, and I was the biggest like,
oh god, Burning Man. I don't want to go because
it's camping and it's muddy and it's like communal, and
I don't want to have to like talk and hug
a bunch of people and people be like what's up, man,
and like share my food? Like everything's there's no money,
it's all bartering. Yeah, yeah, there's no money. Everything's bicycles.

(53:55):
And that was like, sold to me, is like a
good thing. I'm like, no, I.

Speaker 5 (53:58):
Don't know who's selling it to you, because it does
not seem like a thing that you would have a
good time at.

Speaker 3 (54:03):
Enna I can't. I'm just saying like I don't. I
have some people in my life who I think are
cool people that like it, so I don't think it's
that lame because I just trust these people to be
not as lame as the type of Burning Man person.
But I will say I do know someone who's there
who I really don't like. And at first I was like, hah,

(54:23):
this bitch is stuck in the fun. And then I go, oh, Fox,
she's gonna have this stuff. She's going to be worse
than anyone. So it's like it's almost like it's it's
a better for them than if they just had a
great burning Are you kidding me?

Speaker 5 (54:36):
The people that go to Burning Man just want to
talk about Burning Man, and this gives them this license.

Speaker 6 (54:42):
It becomes their life, like as their personality now is
that every year they go to burning Now.

Speaker 5 (54:48):
That being said, I'm very interested in going. I think
I would do better at it than you would. I'll
go with you.

Speaker 3 (54:54):
That's only cute, Yeah, sorry in a good way. That's sexy. Yeah,
you'll like you anymore. You'd never have I just found out.
But yeah, I'll go with you. I would, I'll go.
I feel protected by you, right because you protect me
from things that I don't care for In situations like that,
You'll make it as comfortable as possible. You feel like
I got your charger hooked up here, and I'll do

(55:15):
this ystent a cord. I got this frisbee that lights up.
We'll do that, Like he'll bring side a lot.

Speaker 4 (55:20):
I like a lot of light up Frisbees.

Speaker 3 (55:22):
And you went to ari I the other day and
he got it. There was a sale. He got me
a blanket.

Speaker 4 (55:27):
I love a sale at ur It just.

Speaker 3 (55:28):
Gets me little gifts and like it's I didn't know
it was my love language till I till I knew.
So he got me a beautiful little blanket that is
just like a thing you can ball up into like
a really nice pillow or use a blanket. And he
got me a light up frisbee. That is fucking cool.
It's for us, got us a light up frisbee.

Speaker 4 (55:43):
Well yeah, and for like you know when you're here,
like if you want to go.

Speaker 3 (55:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (55:47):
But also this thing that I think might be.

Speaker 5 (55:49):
Good for a lot of different people to travel a lot.
It's only ten bucks. It is a uh it's like
a scale that you hold in your hand that you
can weigh your luggage before you get to the airport,
so you don't have that like panic for two hours
before you get to the airport to be like, am
I at fifty three pounds?

Speaker 4 (56:06):
Are they gonna bust me on this? Am I gonna
look like an idiot?

Speaker 3 (56:08):
Unpacked my bag vibrator out? Yeah?

Speaker 4 (56:12):
So it's like.

Speaker 3 (56:14):
Rator. I mean, the magic wand is industrial. I guess
it's probably one point five pounds at least. But yesterday
I was like weigh my leg So I was like
laying in bed and Chris was just like hooked it
to my leg and I was just like just lift up.
So we were weighing my legs. They both weigh the same. Yeah,
twelve point five. Just about would you you guys would

(56:36):
go to Burning Man?

Speaker 1 (56:36):
Right?

Speaker 5 (56:37):
I mean I know that we all make fun of it,
and we should. It deserves to be made fun of,
but it still looks cool and fun. Does av want
to go?

Speaker 3 (56:44):
No?

Speaker 2 (56:45):
No, really, but he likes our cultures and he likes rescue.
But it's not like it's not an outdoor outdoors thing.
It's it's more about like being artsy and like eclectic
and on drugs and the whole bartering thing.

Speaker 6 (56:57):
Like I would want to go to Burning Man just
so I can justify my hatred for it, Like I
would go and be like, now I know for sure
that I hate this. This sucks the people here, they're
confused and flailing.

Speaker 5 (57:14):
That's what's happened, taken to a different world. So like
I loved Sleep No More in New York, that thing
where it was like you go in, I love that,
And then like Beyonce's like a concert recently. Yeah, it's
just like you get taken to a different place for
a short period.

Speaker 6 (57:31):
Fake place that costs millions and millions of dollars but
purporting to be an anti capitalist utopia. Instead, it costs
several hundred million dollars to make, and the CEOs and
the top ten people make over three hundred k a
year to put it on. It is a hypocrisy, It
is a farce, and it has become it has become

(57:53):
a playground for the wealthy to destroy the environment essentially
and and post something on Instagram that makes them feel
like they're superior to people who don't go.

Speaker 1 (58:06):
That's what I viewed as.

Speaker 2 (58:06):
And I thought I thought it was free, but ticket
prices start at five hundred bucks and vehicle passes are
one hundred and year.

Speaker 6 (58:14):
You spend thousands of dollars to go, so This is
not if you are It's like, if you are an
actual person who lives in the desert and lives in
a yur you cannot afford to go to Burning Man?

Speaker 3 (58:27):
Yeah wow, okay, are there scholarships and then?

Speaker 6 (58:33):
And like I understand the transformative experience in taking you
to a new world. I'm not saying there's nothing good
about Burning Man, but I do wonder for these people
who have transformative experiences. Is Burning Man transformative? Or is
doing shrooms and transformative?

Speaker 3 (58:49):
That's what it is?

Speaker 1 (58:50):
Is it because you did DMT? Is that why you're thinking.

Speaker 6 (58:53):
I mean, it's a cool place to do DMT, that's
for sure, But I don't think Burning Man is a
requirement to have a transformative experience on shrooms.

Speaker 5 (59:01):
I agree, But there you're also with like minded people,
so like you're with you feel like you're in this
ultimate safe space as like minded people, because that's the brand,
you know, is like we're coming here to be like
one hundred percent ourselves in some way, and then we
have to go back to our lives.

Speaker 6 (59:19):
Except we know, I mean we're not. We're we know
enough to know that if you get seventy thousand people
in a spot you are not in a safe space.
Out of those seventy thousand people, there's at least twenty
five thousand people.

Speaker 1 (59:32):
Who have who are just weird.

Speaker 6 (59:34):
Yeah, and there is ten thousand people who have malicious intentions,
not like I'm gonna kill you, but like I'm gonna
try to fuck your girlfriend. And then there's gonna be
five hundred people who probably are evil. That's just humanity.
And now you're putting that's all together with no rules
in the desert, there's no water, and you're setting things
on fire and doing drugs and you're telling me this

(59:55):
is what you want to spend three thousand dollars in
a labor day weekend on.

Speaker 3 (59:59):
We need some one who's been to Burning Man on
this show to speak, And.

Speaker 5 (01:00:03):
Yeah, I mean I am sort of like having their
back in some reason the way I mean I mean
safe space, like emotionally, I don't mean like physically. But
I will also say that every institution that has ever existed,
whether it starts with you know, good intentions or not,
becomes perverted by people who will get into that institution
and make it way worth I mean, I mean, you

(01:00:24):
look at our government, you look at basically every religion,
like all of those were probably started with the best
of intentions and then have been perverted into something where
it's like it all ends up being like, because we
want to just make money and have power, you want
anybody who wants to make money and have power will
will seek an institution right that they can manipulate so

(01:00:45):
that they can have power and make money, and burning
man is no exception.

Speaker 3 (01:00:50):
Final thought. I was listening to this interesting podcast called
Stuff You Should Know that I go to sleep listening
to almost every single night, and it always helps me
to sleep. But then I also learned something and it
takes me probably like four weeks to get through one
hour episode because I always fall asleep. But then I
I slowly absorbed the information and there was this one

(01:01:11):
episode about the Bilateral.

Speaker 4 (01:01:17):
Fuck.

Speaker 3 (01:01:17):
I forget what it was called, but it was something
about how like when our brains when we snapped into
consciousness as humans, there's a theory that before we had
consciousness and had like our thoughts in our heads that
we knew were our thoughts. We thought this is thousands
of years ago. Before consciousness began, humans thought that thoughts

(01:01:38):
in our heads were God or a ruler talking to us.
So if you had the thought of, like I'm going
to itch my leg, there wasn't the thought of like
this is my leg, I'm itching it. It was God
is telling me to itch my leg. It was. Any
thought you had in your head was just God or
the ruler, the ruler of your little before religion.

Speaker 1 (01:02:00):
So it was it was.

Speaker 4 (01:02:03):
It was.

Speaker 5 (01:02:03):
It was like basically, after you're smart enough to to
like be aware of something before we were aware intelligent
enough that we had like our own agency somewhere in
between that in evolution.

Speaker 4 (01:02:15):
Yes, it wasn't.

Speaker 3 (01:02:17):
It was. It wasn't like a god like they didn't have.

Speaker 5 (01:02:20):
And Ronald was the one telling us to scratch it.
Well you should not bad.

Speaker 3 (01:02:30):
That was really good. So it was it was an
idea of God, of being like a supreme being. Like
they didn't really have religion yet, but it was just
this supreme being or they thought it was the voice
of the ruler, the guy that was in charge of everything,
like the kid that was in charge of the whatever
tribe you were in. So no one was like I'm hungry.

(01:02:53):
It was like God's telling me to eat. I'm just
like it's almost the way I feel about free will
where it's like their brains weren't them.

Speaker 4 (01:03:00):
They weren't like I am.

Speaker 3 (01:03:01):
It was just like I'm a robot operating on this
system of someone's just feeding things into my brain and
I'm acting on that. So that's what they all quote
unquote thought, because thoughts weren't really what they were doing.
They were just kind of working on this automatic response.
Then at some point they became intelligent enough that it

(01:03:22):
was around the Bronze Age, I believe when we started
working with tools and it made our brain smarter because
they figured out a way to make bronze that we
snapped into consciousness and all of a sudden, it was
like I like, I like, our brains became on one
side of your brain and the other side of brain
started working in tandem, and that became consciousness. I'm really

(01:03:42):
like butchering what this means. But pretty much religion was
invented for a nostalgia for that supreme being that used
to tell you what to do. So these people suddenly
were like, now I'm responsible for everything. I don't like this.
I now need to invent a god because I miss
the glory days of when I was just an automaton

(01:04:04):
that was walking around like a zombie being told what
to do by this god. And in religion, then this
is all a theory based on like some anthropologists back
in like the you know, in the twentieth century that
came up with this theory. But it kind of all
jobs together because it's like religion came right after consciousness

(01:04:29):
probably showed up, and so we missed being just told
what to do automatically and not having to like take
accountability for our own actions, and so we invented religions
to give us some sort of like pathway. And I
just thought that was pretty interesting. And I love this
show and it like, is is there anything that always
puts you guys to sleep like this show? I don't

(01:04:52):
know what it is. It reminds me of maybe my
parents having a party in the living room. I was
here like kind of muha voices or.

Speaker 1 (01:04:59):
Gates like the fall sleep.

Speaker 6 (01:05:01):
You're at a sleepover when you're a kid or something
and you're and there's you're at camp and there's just
two people chatting and you're just kind of listening, and
it's just a safe place to be because you know,
if there's two people having a casual conversation, then everything's
probably pretty safe and you're not awake.

Speaker 4 (01:05:17):
Enough to fight off intruders.

Speaker 1 (01:05:18):
Yeah, and also there are probably people.

Speaker 3 (01:05:20):
To a caveman sense. Yeah, that's so funny. Abviy.

Speaker 2 (01:05:26):
We were on a road trip and then you know,
like he he really likes history, and you know, like
we'll watch documentaries and I'll always fall asleep. We were
on a road trip once and he was listening to
book on economics because that was his major, and he's
like really into that stuff. I could not stay awake,
Like I really tried to listen and synthesize, but I
think it's so much information that my brain just shuts

(01:05:47):
down and then I fall asleep.

Speaker 3 (01:05:49):
Yes, I think any kind of like knowledge, like when
you're that, I think that's what the show is. I
always pick a subject matter where it's like the you know,
there was one about the end of the Bronze Age,
which like the collapse of this like the world was
doing great during the Bronze Age for like there was

(01:06:10):
like societies and there was kind of beginnings of governments
and everything, and then all of a sudden things started
to fall apart and the society completely collapsed. And I'm kind
of interested in that, because it seems to be what
we're on the cusp of pretty soon, and I kind
of want to hear how it begins and like how
it starts and trickles down until everything is just chaos
and ruined, because that's what happened, like everyone died off,

(01:06:32):
all the society like there was obviously some people survived
because we are here now. But so I'm just like,
have you guys read the book Sapiens?

Speaker 5 (01:06:41):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (01:06:41):
I tried reading it.

Speaker 3 (01:06:42):
You love it? I tried.

Speaker 1 (01:06:43):
I just couldn't get.

Speaker 6 (01:06:44):
I tried to listen to it speaking. It's pretty dense
and like, I don't know. I I tried to listen
to it. I'd rather just get This is one of
those instances where I'd rather just get a blinkst summary
of it, because he just kept going on and on.
I was like, do I really have to read all
of this in order to understand what they're trying to say?

Speaker 1 (01:07:03):
Like what's your what's the point?

Speaker 6 (01:07:06):
I usually love shit like that, and I just couldn't
get through Sapiens.

Speaker 3 (01:07:10):
I think I'll like it because it's linear and it
like will take you because I feel like when I
learn about history, it's like these moments, these little like
batches of history, and I go, but how does that
fit into the rest of it? Because I don't know,
Like when people here's the dumbest question I've ever asked,
maybe on the show, when people say B C E
is E different? Does E add something different to BC? No,

(01:07:33):
it's just ERA. I think, really, why are we throw
it on an E?

Speaker 6 (01:07:37):
No?

Speaker 3 (01:07:37):
One needs that. Stop making it. You sound smarner than
everyone else. So is the world just a D zero?
And then BC? Is that all we do? Or is
there something before BC?

Speaker 6 (01:07:47):
No, that's just it just keeps traveling back into eternity?
Okay before Christ anodonomy, right, Louis. You know Louis.

Speaker 1 (01:08:00):
It's such a great joke because.

Speaker 3 (01:08:01):
He talks about like people in BC didn't know the
date was like eighty BC, right, and then it would
be weird, like on New Year's Eve they'd be like,
and now it's seventy nine.

Speaker 4 (01:08:12):
He's like, what are we counting down to the fear
of being like, wait, what is this all leading to?

Speaker 3 (01:08:18):
They didn't know Christ was coming and there was no
date before then. It's such a brilliant it's.

Speaker 5 (01:08:24):
Such a ridiculous thing too, that like that we started
time two thousand years ago. I mean I know that,
like the Chinese calendar is on, like what is it
like four thousand, seven hundred and ninety or something.

Speaker 3 (01:08:37):
Yeah, that huge calendar also is good.

Speaker 2 (01:08:40):
Oh really yeah, I think it's like fifty five hundred
and change.

Speaker 1 (01:08:43):
I'm so ignorant FI or something. Three.

Speaker 3 (01:08:51):
Yeah, I did feel smart this weekend on the on
the crossword puzzle.

Speaker 4 (01:08:57):
Oh yeah, crossword puzzle.

Speaker 3 (01:08:58):
Like Brian, me and Chris have crossword competitions where we time.
We know they're timed anyway, but we're trying to like
we do like every every I would say, Monday through Friday.
We send each other. Most of the crosswords has been
a couple of weeks now and and see who wins.
Brian is probably winning at this point.

Speaker 1 (01:09:18):
I've lost quite a lot. I mean just yesterday was
a huge victory for me.

Speaker 3 (01:09:22):
Huge He beat me by like Chris and I did
twelve twelve something minutes half.

Speaker 4 (01:09:26):
The time you did twelve. I did fourteen, And Brian
died in the sevens.

Speaker 3 (01:09:30):
In the sevens on a Monday. It was really embarrassing
for us over here. But I don't understand it because
we are in love.

Speaker 1 (01:09:37):
There are people who can do next to.

Speaker 3 (01:09:39):
Each other and just staring at eyes were getting lost,
so that if you you got to have Ali do
it next to you too and see.

Speaker 6 (01:09:45):
If she doesn't do them at all. There are people
who can do, especially the Monday crossword, in like under
four minutes, like a sub four minute mile. And I
don't even understand how you can type them in that fast.

Speaker 3 (01:09:58):
No, I know, because it if I even have a typo,
I go I'm done. Yeah, like I'm gonna.

Speaker 4 (01:10:03):
Go I've screwed everything.

Speaker 6 (01:10:04):
Yes, if you're just reading the answers from an answer
key typing it in, I would still think it would
take four minutes.

Speaker 3 (01:10:10):
There are sometimes on a crossword where I feel like, oh,
this one I got lucky because I remember in sixth
grade we had someone come to talk to our class
and he was from Berkina Fosso. Oh yeah, oh, otherwise
I wouldn't know what Burkina Fosso was in a million years.
And we had a hint the other day that was
like country Burkina blank, and I was like, Fosso. That

(01:10:35):
would have been one that I just was like, what
the hell is this?

Speaker 4 (01:10:37):
You slum dog millionaireed it and.

Speaker 3 (01:10:38):
There are a lot of sports references where I go, well,
Chris is gonna have the advantage here home court.

Speaker 4 (01:10:44):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:10:44):
Every time I see some sort of variation of a
sport one, I'm like, there's how does Nikki ever get this?
And I know that's like the point of crossword puzzles
is that well the other letters?

Speaker 3 (01:10:53):
The answer is Untold, the documentary documentary series on Netflix
that I am very much into, and I I have
a lot of information about a couple certain things Malice
at the Palace. If you want to know anything about
the Ron art test fight in the stands, I got you.
Johnny Manziel, I know all about him and Mantiteo. The

(01:11:15):
I love sports like Jordan's Jordan, Oh my god.

Speaker 5 (01:11:19):
Well, I had a bit of a some something where
it's like the only Nikki can only get into sports
if it's like fifteen years ago present day sports. It
is like not interesting to Nicki at all. It's like
she needs to hear the story, the drama.

Speaker 3 (01:11:33):
Sure moments, I mean, I got I was very much
involved in the Tanya Harding Nancy Kerrigan thing when I
was in fifth grade. I was because it was captivated
the nation. I mean there was crime involved. That was
It was in fifth grade, and I was like, I
knew all about it. My mom was, you know, up
on it. My mom was a big Court TV watcher,
even though that wasn't on Court TV or whatever, but
she's just that kind of woman. I knew all about

(01:11:54):
the OJ scandal. I was in sixth grade. I had
strong opinions about OJ. But I love these sportsocks. If
you guys have any suggestions listeners for good sports documentaries
for me, please send them my way. We're gonna go
back through thirty for thirties tell us which thirty for
thirties are the best ones to watch. Chris does have
an ESPN dot com subscription because he is a boy.

Speaker 4 (01:12:14):
Last night, I go, let's watch thirty for thirty.

Speaker 3 (01:12:17):
We were looking at one that we used to watch
that we made fun of called Broke, where the whole
time guys are just like man. We were spending. It's
all about like diamonds, how true athletes go bankrupt fast,
And the whole thing is just them being like man.
We had cash flowing, strippers, cars, watches. They just listen and.

Speaker 4 (01:12:34):
The money wouldn't stop.

Speaker 3 (01:12:34):
It's a half hour of them listing things.

Speaker 5 (01:12:36):
They yeah, yeah, boats, boat yeah, cars, and it never ended,
and we thought it would never end, and so we
kept buying things shoes.

Speaker 4 (01:12:46):
Watch it.

Speaker 5 (01:12:48):
We're like, okay, cool, where's the story and they're like man, man.
And then I kept buying things. Ever, I was buying
things for my family.

Speaker 4 (01:12:55):
And the ground picks are all like money flowing down
and like cleaning supplies backing up.

Speaker 3 (01:13:00):
It's like the dumb It's like v h one, like
I love the nineties, but done ESPNS. It's so funny.
So I go, we should watch that again, like we
watched it in twenty fifteen. We've been making fun of
it ever since. We didn't even finish it. I don't
think we were just like this is ridiculous.

Speaker 4 (01:13:14):
It was just so I was like, we should watch
it again, and last night I.

Speaker 3 (01:13:19):
Go, it's on. I go, we gotta buy it though
it's ESPN dot Com And Chris was just like, babe,
I don't think you said babe, but what were you said?

Speaker 4 (01:13:27):
I don't remember what I said.

Speaker 3 (01:13:28):
Do you think I don't have an ESPN dot com subscription?
What do you even think of me?

Speaker 4 (01:13:35):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:13:36):
We do? Think you're driving with right now? I go
a guy that does it. That's about to run out
of gas.

Speaker 4 (01:13:44):
We won't need it at burning in this relationship.

Speaker 3 (01:13:51):
All right, Chris Convey, Happy birthday, than Thanks for spending
your Thanks for waking up early to do the pod
on your birth.

Speaker 5 (01:13:57):
Wouldn't have it any other way except except that I
would be.

Speaker 4 (01:14:02):
Yesterday.

Speaker 3 (01:14:02):
We slept till we were in bed. You can get
two two o'clock. We really did it. It was awesome.

Speaker 4 (01:14:08):
And then I will say we went to maybe we'll
talk about.

Speaker 3 (01:14:11):
Tomorrow going to the Middle Eastern restaurant because I made
you laugh by being myself.

Speaker 4 (01:14:16):
Oh I don't remember what you did?

Speaker 3 (01:14:18):
That's what do you do in there? Come on a
little bit more.

Speaker 4 (01:14:23):
Does that ring a bell?

Speaker 1 (01:14:24):
No?

Speaker 4 (01:14:24):
What is that?

Speaker 3 (01:14:25):
Sir? Come on, you can do better. Okay, that's a
teaser for tomorrow. All right, guys, thank you so much
for listening to the podcast. As always, check out my
tour Nikki Glazer dot com. Chicago Theater coming up September fifteenth,
and you're in the Chicago area. If you have friends
in the Chicago area, send them to my show. It's
going to be so much freaking fun. Yes, Chris Convey's

(01:14:47):
brother Tim is going to be opening for me on
you will also be there. It's going to be one
of the greatest shows of my life because it said
this huge, amazing theater in Chicago where I just feel
so special and I want you there, I want my
besties there, and then the rest of the t is
going to be so excellent. I'm so excited, but pale
in comparison to the Chicago one. Yeah. Wait what No,

(01:15:10):
Once I get to Chicago under my belt, which is
the first one, the rest will feel much. They will,
I will, I will. I'm gonna feel so good at
any point in the tour you see me, I'm going
to be I mean, I'm I'm cooking with gas right
for my stand up.

Speaker 6 (01:15:23):
You're you're like building up this stuff. You're gonna go
out there on this tour and you're gonna have so
much new material and it's just going to be.

Speaker 1 (01:15:30):
You're so ready to go out on tour again.

Speaker 3 (01:15:32):
It's crazy, I know, and I thought I wouldn't be
because I've been stagnant for two months. But I am ready.
We gotta go. Thank you guys so much for listening.
We'll see you tomorrow on the Poscably Cast. Don't Beka
and just what.

Speaker 4 (01:15:47):
Give some more? I mean, you can give us some more,
but that's not enough. Wait, what do you do with
the eet see you tomorrow?
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Nikki Glaser

Nikki Glaser

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