November 30, 2023 • 58 mins
Nikki is two weeks shy of recording her newest special in Seattle, WA at the Moore Theater and she's got feelings about it! She tells Brian and Noa why a "slow hammer" from a scene in Fargo always scares her. Nikki's Spotify Wrapped will not be a surprise to Besties, but there sure is a lot to learn about Brian's. Could social media cause the end of the world? Nikki is on her way to Toronto, and she is not looking forward to going through hell, aka Customs. Brian shares a time he got arrested at the border. Nikki has been playing "You're Losing Me" by Taylor Swift and "Greedy" by Tate McRae on repeat with no regrets!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Nicky Gliser podcastser.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Nicky, Hello here, I am welcome to the show. It's
a Nicky Glazer podcast.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
Before we get started, want to remind everyone I'm spent
taving a special in Seattle on December sixteenth that's coming
up in almost two weeks now in Seattle. Oh shit, noah.
And I was like, what does that sound? It sounded
like a toy. Yeah yeah, I did, like a windy witch.
Speaker 4 (00:39):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Yeah, there's two shows on December sixteenth on Saturday. And
want besties to go, really want to populate the crowd
with them. I'm taping the special for a reputable Yeah, yeah,
I really want.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
I'm going to start my own call Triplet Flames. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
And uh so their tickets still available, I think mainly
to there's single tickets, a lot of single tickets, I think,
not a lot, but enough to the first show if
you want to go alone, and then to the second
show for sure, there's many. And then I have lots
of shows coming up this weekend. Toronto, Toronto, wait, Toronto.
Last time I was there, I kept saying Toronto and
(01:26):
everyone was like, it's Toronto, and I'm like, well, then
tell your city's spelling because there's an extra tea in there,
and I like to hit it Toronto, right, But I'm
not going to say that in Toronto, Toronto this weekend.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Louisville, louis Yeah, Louisville. Yeah, that's a.
Speaker 4 (01:43):
That's a.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
But that's like south like Toronto.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
You think Canadians would be meticulous about hitting every celeble.
Speaker 4 (01:50):
Yeah, yes, exactly. It's not New York.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
City, say, and then uh, Toronto, and then Munhole, Pennsylvania,
which is really very close to Pittsburgh. I don't know
why all of my things say Munholl because it's not
helpful to literally anyone. It's not like I don't know
the little cities outside Saint Louis.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
So if someone was like, I'm coming to.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Munhole, Missouri, if that was nearby, I wouldn't know, and
then I would just miss it.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Because so that's Pittsburgh if you're in the area.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
And then and then Saturday in Detroit and tonight at
the Funny Bone Detroit, Detroit, Troy, and then uh yeah,
tonight in Saint Louis.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
So I have four nights in a row. I think,
how are you feeling?
Speaker 3 (02:36):
How are you feeling two weeks ahead of your special exhausted.
I am chronically tired. And it's not because the special
I don't think. I'm just like, it's never enough. I
always want to get back in there whenever I wake up,
even if it's a nightmare, I want to get back
in my nightmare.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
I want to get back.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
I had a nightmare about Marilyn Manson had snuck me
on a spaceship, really hot blonde girl, and he was
making us make out and I really didn't want to
and I couldn't find my shoes and I wanted to
go work out.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
It's the whole thing.
Speaker 4 (03:04):
Wow, Wow, I feel like, who's Marilyn Manson? Is that
Chris may Manson?
Speaker 3 (03:13):
I think is well. I watched Fargo last night, the
new season. Do you watch that?
Speaker 4 (03:19):
I wish I did, but I just can't.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
I've never What do you mean you can't.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
There's no reason why I haven't watched it. I heard
it's amazing.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
You never watched it, like ever in the history of
it's season five. I think I've never watched any season.
I have only seen the movie Fargo, which is nothing
like the show. But I'm watching the new season and
it's terrifying. Killy from Ted last I was in it.
But she doesn't talk like this. Oh, she talks like,
you know, oh yeah, we gotta go get the groceries,
(03:50):
and oh my god, it's snowing outside and everyone has
this like really, I guess it's the Minnesota accent sounds fake,
especially when you expect the person saying it to sound
very British.
Speaker 4 (04:00):
Yeah, she's right.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
I think she's.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
British as fuck, man like, but who knows. Maybe she's
putting on that accent for ted Lesard. No, I think
she's very British. But she is nailing that accent and
she's great in this, but it's so scary. There's this
one scene in the first episode spoiler alert, but it's
not like it's early in the episode, so I don't
know if that counts as a spoiler.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
I'm bad at spoilers. I'm sorry everyone.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
I know I ruined everything for you, But like, maybe
this is the way you're supposed to hear it the
first time, and maybe you can have the same kind
of shock that you would in this moment. But it
happens like within the first I would say, fifteen minutes
of the episode, probably earlier.
Speaker 4 (04:38):
It happens with the first fifteen episodes.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Yeah, we watched three episodes last night. It was a lot.
But it's so scary. It's so I would never be
able to watch this alone. Never. What is scary?
Speaker 3 (04:51):
Is it like monster scari like murder scary? It's murder scary.
It's like psychopath mean people scary. John Hamm plays a
really bad person. Man, does he play it well? He
does a better job of playing mean people than nice people,
which hmmm, I wonder why so read Kathy Griffith's book,
so I uh read.
Speaker 4 (05:13):
Read it also makes him three dimensional because he presents
himself like a nice guy and so when he's mean,
it like really adds to.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
The Oh he's scary at fuck man, you don't want
to get on his bad side. That that Don Draper,
that like the stern drawn Draper comes out. That's why
I think John, I think he's more like I think
he is like Don Draper.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
There's two sides to that guy.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
But he is evil in this so scary as a
nipples pierced, which is weird.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
I don't even know how they fake that he can't
be pierced.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
Yeah, that barreled chest with those nipples piers and then
at one point, he gets out of a tub and
you know he notoriously has his packing because we've which
is none of our business, but we've but gun or
balls come on Ham John Ham's Ham.
Speaker 4 (06:01):
Do you remember all the pictures he's got that ham bone?
Speaker 2 (06:05):
You don't remember this.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
I don't seek out John Ham's.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Neither did I. But they were everywhere everywhere? Yeah, I
really no. What do you remember?
Speaker 4 (06:14):
Yes, everywhere, but somehow coming through your window right now?
Speaker 2 (06:18):
See why is it on your screen? Yeah, it's it's
zooming in. Yeah. So it's he gets out of a
hot tub.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
And he had to have had that thing tacked on
because the way his legs are spread, you would be
able to see it through the back like we only
see a backside shot. Oh so the whole time, I'm
like waiting for it to drop, because like a wrap up,
but it never does.
Speaker 4 (06:45):
Well, hot though, you know that's that's shrinkage, Just George,
that's hot. Yeah but hot right, so cold as shrinkage.
I feel like you'll shrink either way.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Well, that's your experience.
Speaker 4 (06:58):
We just learned something of you.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Makes it loose.
Speaker 4 (07:03):
Mine gets really big and cold.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Wait whoa yes, wait, I was thinking the other day
that like because I'm I'm talking about in my set,
I'm talking about like how your vagina like changes shape
as you get older, and like you know, gravity just
takes hold of everything. And men must be excited about
gravity for their dicks, right, like when it gets older,
(07:26):
it gets saggier. They must like the sagginess for their penis,
I know, not for your balls.
Speaker 4 (07:30):
That's probably the problem is the balls which are outside
our body, which is a you know, I think a
design flaw, but they do. I have heard tail as
you would that be outside just to keep it cooler.
It needs to be two degrees cooler so that the
spurms way.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Is that true?
Speaker 4 (07:48):
True?
Speaker 5 (07:49):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (07:49):
Oh my god, But you know it's like can't you
just you know, make the pelvic area love like grilling
and like refrigeration stats that's a man thing to be,
Like we gotta keep it outside because like you guys
love like taking food and putting it in different places
to make it the best or like I don't know
what I'm trying to say, but okay.
Speaker 4 (08:11):
No about that station plumbing. But yeah, I've heard tail
that when you get older, your balls can sack slowly
hit the toilet water when you sit down. Oh yeah,
so luckily I'm not there, and I think there's.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
More toilet water, I know, touching that sack.
Speaker 4 (08:29):
Yeah, you feel bad if the toilet water have a GoFundMe.
That's trying to change this, but mostly it just sucks
because you'd have no control over it. I can't do
keegeles for it or anything. It's just sagging.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
And I don't think it's You're nice though, that you
can't do anything. It's just the way it is.
Speaker 4 (08:44):
It's freeing that. Yeah, your balls are gonna like that.
You're gonna get older, and your nose is gonna get bigger,
your ears are gonna get bigger. Your ball sack's gonnaet bigger.
And I think your dick stays the same, which makes
it a disproportionate a little bit.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
When it's oh yeah, well it's got a.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
It's got a it's got a droop a little bit
based on just gravity, like when it's when it's soft,
it's got to like sag more.
Speaker 4 (09:09):
Yeah, I mean i've seen some all which is at school.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
I'm trying to get my kid.
Speaker 4 (09:16):
Yeah, I think I've seen you know, it's hard to
say because i've seen old man dicks before, like in
the gym, locker room or something, and I always think
they're big. Whenever I see one, I think it's.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Gigantic, So maybe, yeah, that's the sag effect.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
I've never like looked over at someone at a Europe
and be like, oh boy, tiny dick, that's tough for you.
Always over every time I go and I peek over
just to see what I'm working against and against you seension,
I've never seen one and I was like, oh good,
I'm this is a really small dick you have. It's
always been like, whoa, how the fuck were you from Europe?
(09:52):
I always think they're from eastern Europe or something. That's
why their dicks are so big. I don't know why
I think you're what that is about? Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
I want to talk about Oh yeah, John ham So
Jon Hamm is in the show. He's evil, and then Kaylee,
isn't it that? And I love Keeley's teeth. If everyone
knows what I'm talking about. Kiely from ted Lasso. Yeah,
she's got like these. She's got like a lip that
goes out by her teeth, and her teeth that like
kind of look like they're like like they're you're doing
(10:22):
this with your hands like when you do like cat
hands and you're like where are like her teeth all
go together, but they're they're not like crooked they I
love her mouth.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
I'm obsessed with it. And even no her name is,
it kind of looks like temple.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
Mouth. Yeah. Well, Chris kept saying she looks like Kirsten
and I didn't see it, so maybe that's true. Like
there's just like, yeah, maybe it does have a little
bit of there's like it's like a cat mouth. She
kind of has a cat mouth where it's like there's
like the lips that go over, Like she looks like
she's in the movie Cats, you know, Like however when
that movie had like a there's but I love it.
(11:01):
I'm like obsessed with how when she like smiles and
it just like comes up. It's not like most people
smile where it's like gets big.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
She just like lifts.
Speaker 4 (11:10):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
It's so good looking at a picture of her, she
looks like Jamie Lee. She's so cute.
Speaker 4 (11:16):
Doesn't look like Jamie Lee ye.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Ted last for ted Lasson.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
Yeah. Yeah, So she's in it, and she in one
scene is sitting in her like TV room knitting, and
it's the scariest.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Thing I've ever seen in my life.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
She's like watching TV and she's like watching this like
Minnesota Morning Show and she's kind of just like, oh,
just like watching it and like kind of laughing along,
and like you can tell she's a real simple lady.
And then all of a sudden, this guy with like
a burlap sack mask over his face, real tall guy
walks up during the daytime, which makes it even creepier
(11:57):
for some reason, walks up up to her window, like
you know, it's like a full length almost door type
window thing like right next to the TV. And he's
carrying a hammer and he's just very calmly looking at
her and just walks up and it's just very slowly.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
I don't like that.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
I wanted to be fast. If you're gonna attack to
it fast, yes, And so she is just like she's
sitting there and she's just like and he walked. Then
he slowly starts pacing around to another window and he's
standing there and that's when I close my eyes and
I go, Chris, I cannot handle this. You're gonna have
to pretend like I'm blind, Like You're gonna have to
(12:39):
describe it to me. Pretend I'm you're blind. Like Chris
dated a girl who was blind in the past. He
was having who was going blind, and she was like
going to be fully blind. And I think he kind
of liked it because it's like he loves to help.
And so I was like, I don't think it bothered
him at all. I think he loved it. Like I
don't think he if I told him, you know, those
(13:00):
girls give those scenarios like what if I had no
arms or legs? Would you still love me? There's a
part of me that thinks Chris would like me more
like it would be he would be more there for me.
He loves to help, right, so relationship goals someday Fingers crossed.
(13:21):
I can tap my hammer, so I am baring my
face into the couch, but not too much because my
couch is white and I always have broadcha on my face,
so I like put a blanket.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
Then my face my fucking couch.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
I can't even sit on my with my pure body
because I always have tan that's gonna come off on it.
So never been able to sit upon my couch, so
I'm hiding my eyes and I'm like, Chris, you've got
to describe the scene to me. You got and he's
not very good, like he'd be a great blind boyfriend
and like boyfriend to the blind and in terms of
like helping getting my cane, like getting things warm, me
(13:55):
making sure like I but if he's got to step
it up, if I'm gonna go blind with show description,
because he's like because then I will see the scene
change because I'll see like a flicker of light.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
And I'm like, okay, now what And he's like, oh now,
the guy with a hammer is like inside the house.
Speaker 3 (14:09):
I'm like, how did he get in? Like he's not
telling me the So then I like went over to
him and I'm like, you gotta tell me, Like I'm
your blind ex girlfriend. Pretend i'm her and I know
her name, and so I was like, you got it.
And so now I'm like, pretend i'm her, and he's like,
your tits need to be bigger, and so then I
started inflating my tits and he was like bigger, bigger,
and and then I got almost offended. I was like, wait,
(14:30):
did your blind girlfriend have huge boobs? And he's like yeah,
And I was like then I was like, I'm going
over the other side of the couch. I have small boobs,
I'm not even blind, and I got like hurt.
Speaker 4 (14:41):
While the background, John Hamm is hammering this woman.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
Yes, but she she she does. Yeah, she's a big
part of the show. So I knew she wasn't gonna
get hammered to death. He didn't hammer, but he But
it's so scary, do you you agree? So scary to
see someone slow when they are ready to murder.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Also worst death imaginable hammer.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
God.
Speaker 4 (15:09):
Did you see the new Batman movie with Robert Pattinson.
It's of course not okay, Well, there's a little bit
of that hammer slow hammer action in that there slow hammer,
slow hammer. I mean this is really truly creepy. Uh
slow hammer action. That the villain is played by the
guy the the guy who played the young priest. And
(15:32):
there will be blood. Did you see there will be
blood with also.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
Slow hammer action that wait, no, no, no, that's the
other one there was.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
There will be the blood. And then there's like the
one with the cattle, with the cattle, Oh yeah, that's god,
what the hell is that came out at the same time.
Speaker 4 (15:49):
No Country, No Country for Old man, those two movies
came at the same time, and it's like, what is
going on in the world?
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Yeah that was so that movie's all slow hammer.
Speaker 4 (15:57):
This year is crazy.
Speaker 3 (15:59):
Uh well yeah that both both advertayes okay they do, okay, yeah.
Speaker 4 (16:05):
Well you know, No Country for Old Man has one
of like the most horrifying deaths of all time, which
is when he's impersonating the police officer. He pulls over
the person and then he has the thing that shoots
air into cattle's heads to kill them, and he just
says it's it's almost like the guy is going under
a sobriety test and he says, stand still. And the
worst part is is he's just complicit and docile and
(16:26):
he stands there and he's like, yes, sir, and just
like that, he drops down, takes the car, drives off.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
There's a lot of depths like that, Yes, like calm psychopath.
That's where that's when we started calling this guy a psychopath.
Like we don't even know his name, but I just
keep going because that if he were like frantic, we
would just be calling him like the killer, but instead
we're calling him psychopath because and it was interesting to
me because I'm like, why is Chris all of a
sudden saying okay, now the psychopath is I'm like, he
(16:54):
made up that term because this guy is too calm. Yeah,
but also I watched an interview with a psychopath the
other day that was really interesting real Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
It was Peers Morgan being interviewed and.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Nice Peers Morgan, who I don't particularly like, but he
was interviewing this child psychopath who killed his sister when
he was twelve and she was like six, and they
were like, they had all this footage of them being
like sweet brother and sister, and then he murdered his
sister's Americans. He murdered his sister because he hated his
(17:32):
mom and he was gonna murder his mom, but he
decided the thing that it would hurt his mom more
is to murder his sister, because it would not only
take away his sister, but it would also take away
him for prison for life.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
And he wanted to hurt his mom.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
As deeply as possible, and so that was his reason
because he was planning on murdering his mom. But there's
all this footage of them as kids and him being
so sweet to his sister, looking after her like you
would think they were like the best.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
He was the best little brother in the world.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
So it's truly and then Piers Morgan interviews him, and
this guy's face just looks so like you've seen memes
of this guy's face.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
It's fucking scary as fuck. But I was so scary.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
I think that's why I had the Marilyn Manson dream
last night. It's because of the hammertime of just like
like scary looking cal murderers. And yeah, and so Fargo
was terrifying. Chris described it all to me, it sounded
terrifying at least, Oh my god, it but it's really good.
I'm actually looking forward to watching more of it because
we watched three episodes and I was like kind of
(18:34):
had to twist my arm to walk to it. At first,
I really wanted to watch another doc that I Apparently
there's this doc called like The Truth of Love or
Love Is the Way or Love is the I forget
what it is, but all of my friends on girls
Chat are freaking out about it, saying it's the most
fucked up doc yet. So if you know what I'm talking,
Robin Williams is involved somehow. I don't even know what,
(18:56):
I know, why are you pulling him into this? But
like I guess they are making him some sort of
prophet or something I don't even understand. But we're gonna
go to break and come back with more after this.
This morning, I woke up to my favorite It's my
favorite time of year. It might be my favorite day
of the year, I think, besides maybe like the day
(19:18):
before Christmas.
Speaker 4 (19:19):
I really like the day.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Before Christmas because it's like, you know, gooning for Christmas.
Speaker 4 (19:23):
But this day is pretty good.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
Yeah, yeah, I guess they call it that. Yeah, yeah, gooning.
Speaker 3 (19:33):
Yeah, let it goon, let it goon, Let it goon Okay,
So today is Spotify wrapped?
Speaker 4 (19:40):
Oh yeah, I got it.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
Did you get yours? Do you listen to Spotify?
Speaker 4 (19:47):
Do?
Speaker 3 (19:48):
Okay? Lot?
Speaker 4 (19:50):
I mean Kirsten doesn't.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
Anya barely does it, and I think she rolls her
eyes at it because I think she is just like
you know, she's she's she's upset with Spotify because she
gets those checks.
Speaker 4 (20:03):
For like Spotify makes people who have Pandora feel so bad.
It's like having an Apple phone versus having uh a
droid Android. Yeah, It's like I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
So I switched from art. I was an audio baby
back in the day.
Speaker 3 (20:19):
That's like Chris, Yeah, it's gone now, But I used
to use a different service until spot Then Spotify Wrapped
came out maybe the first or second time, and I
was like, I can't miss this again. This is exciting.
I like finding out things about myself. This is like
taking an enneagram and like you're and if you're someone
who likes music, it's just so fun to see your data.
(20:42):
And I know it's like they sell it all and
they use it all against you, but it's so I
love Spotify rap and I hate everyone being snarky about it.
I like people Spotify raps are so snarky about Spotify.
They hate it because everyone is bragging about how cool
their music tastes are or whatever. And everyone who has
(21:03):
lame music tastes or doesn't use Spotify wrapped or are
so or like uses Apple Music, are so jealous.
Speaker 4 (21:09):
Yeah, and they don't like it.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
But it's fun.
Speaker 3 (21:11):
It's fun and you are just open your mind to it,
like be interested in other people find it. It tells
you so much about someone. So wait, let's look at
let's hear your Spotify rapped. This is exciting because you're
looking at it for the first time.
Speaker 4 (21:23):
Says me, I'm opening Spotify for the first time.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Well, it has to take you through that whole fucking stuy.
I don't like how long the stories say. It's pretty well,
this year you visited seven countries with your music, and
then it's bump burn bank Bank, and then this country's
come up slowly, and you're like, I don't give a
fuck where.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
My music was.
Speaker 3 (21:41):
Yeah, look at this bullshit. Oh hell you wow you hey, Brian,
I can't read what that says, Brian. You gotta tell
us it's rap time.
Speaker 4 (21:50):
Twenty twenty three was a feast for your ears. You
listened to fifty seven genres.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
What I only listened to seven? A fifty seven?
Speaker 4 (22:00):
No, no, Now it's showing me a sandwich.
Speaker 3 (22:03):
I know the sandwich graphic goes on for a bit.
The most you listened to was okay. Now look now
it's showing you Okay.
Speaker 4 (22:10):
Rap was number one. I was just surprised. I guess
I can really listen to a lot of rap at
the end of the year, because I was whenever I
work out, I listened to like hardcore rap to really
pump me up. Yeah, from like the Creed soundtrack or something.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
Okay, people there, Oh it's not you don't listen to Creed.
You listen to the Creed.
Speaker 4 (22:31):
Breed soundtrack with Michael B. Jordan. You played two thousand songs.
One really connected. It was the main theme from The
Dark Knight Rises. Oh, because I listened to that when
I'm writing. What it's like. It's like it's like a classical,
intense music. I just listened to it. What I do
is I listened to it over and over again on repeat. Yeah.
(22:55):
So the main theme from The Dark Knight Rises is
my number one song. And then number too is you
make Me Feel Like Dancing? Stop?
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Wait, what's that one?
Speaker 4 (23:05):
Dancing?
Speaker 3 (23:06):
I want to dance?
Speaker 2 (23:07):
Dan, that's not a great song.
Speaker 4 (23:13):
When do you listen to that? What are you doing?
I think I used to listen to that every morning. Uh,
and when I get up to make myself feel better
about my life.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
That's so cute.
Speaker 4 (23:23):
And then get Out of My Way, which is a
rap song that is really good for working out too,
and then a Game of Thrones soundtrack because I would
listen to that when I was writing, and then another
a song from Creed. These are weird, I mean, this
is like a wait, mine tells me?
Speaker 3 (23:40):
So I thought it was going to tell me where
I like, what's where my music is from? Because it's
like you're listening all over the world. It's where you live.
What what city in the world you listened most? Like,
Oh wow, I feel pretty cool. Mine's Cambridge, Massachusetts.
Speaker 4 (23:56):
Oh wow, very smart? Harvard? Baby wow, I was just
in Cambridge. Oh yeah, very smart. Mine is Saint Louis Epispo,
which is where Apple is.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Really that's where she's for.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
I think that's where she's No, that's Copertino, San Louibispo
is where cal Polly is.
Speaker 4 (24:16):
Oh yes, I'm I'm a big cal poly guy.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
Okay, yes, thought people.
Speaker 4 (24:21):
They are far more likely to be fans of Duckworth,
asap Ferg and Dreamville.
Speaker 3 (24:25):
Just like, Oh my god, my number one song was
released July seventh, so I've only had since July seventh
to listen to it, and I listened to it.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
Did you tell you how many times you listened to
that one song?
Speaker 4 (24:40):
No? Yeah, no, I have more things to go through.
Speaker 3 (24:43):
What I really want to know it should be the
fourth slide, the fourth slide. Yeah, I'll tell you how
many Okay, you.
Speaker 4 (24:50):
Had room in your heart for more than for more
than one favorite, it says, Oh, it doesn't tell me
that I listened to one song.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
Sorry, Then that's the slide before that.
Speaker 4 (25:00):
You played twenty four hundred and seventy nine songs in
twenty twenty three, and there was really only one that
connected Hans Zimmern' kid, this is your.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
Most place.
Speaker 4 (25:14):
The Dark Night Rise.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Wow, okay, how many times.
Speaker 4 (25:18):
You played it? One hundred and seventeen times this year?
So not that many.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
That's pretty that's pretty many.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
Mine was you played fourteen hundred and eighty six songs,
which is.
Speaker 4 (25:27):
Way less than you. Yeah. I have a lot of genres, and.
Speaker 3 (25:30):
There's one that really connected, and it was Taylor Swifts
I can see you from the vault from speaking now vault,
and I played it one hundred and twelve times, which
seems low to me since July seventh, but only that
was my favorite song to listen to on a treadmill
(25:51):
and also in the shower for like pretty much all
of August and September. I was listening to that song
when I showered. It was I couldn't even shower so fast.
I would barely get through the song. But I just
I would pretend that because it's a song about like
when you like you're you are, like having a crush
on someone and you can't be together and they and
(26:14):
like everyone knows, but like no one knows, no one
can know. It's like my favorite kind of like fantasy
is when two people like each other and they can't
tell anyone and it's super hot and they're and it's yeah,
so it's a romance novels.
Speaker 4 (26:31):
No, I feel like you'd get real horned up for
a romance novel.
Speaker 3 (26:35):
Yeah, maybe watching all those crime docs.
Speaker 4 (26:38):
Yeah, I know, I like people get hit with the
hammers while your boyfriend tells you your tits need to
be bigger romance novels.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
Romance novels.
Speaker 4 (26:48):
No.
Speaker 3 (26:49):
By the way, Kristen confirmed that I have the best
hits that he could imagine, and so that was nice
and I want to exactly exactly. Big does not equal
good all the time, but he But yeah, I think
romance novels for me are too saccharine and too like
(27:09):
they're they they don't cause I've never been horny from
I've read books where there's been like love interests, like
will they won't they and it doesn't do for me
what certain scenes and movies.
Speaker 4 (27:20):
I'm a pretty visual You watch Bridgerton.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Yeah that was kind of hot, but it wasn't super hot.
Speaker 3 (27:26):
Like I made Chris watch this movie the other day,
My favorite movie ever, The Worst Person in the World.
It's Norwegian film and there is a scene this girl
like cheats on her boyfriend. It's not the best movie
to watch with her boyfriend. Be like I love this
movie and the girls like just cheating on him wildly but.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
Wildly.
Speaker 4 (27:46):
Yeah, Like she just makes a decision.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
And then goes for it.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
But it it is so hot to me when two
people really want to but they can't and they won't.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
They they'll do everything except like, oh, I love it
so much.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
Like if I were to role play with Chris, it
would be like us, we're in relationships with other people
and we're like cheating with each other. Like that's which
is unfortunate because it's like it the thing that turns
me on is like doing a like betraying someone I love.
It's like inherently in the fantasy. But I just like
(28:23):
it and I can see you, Yeah, I gotta have.
Speaker 4 (28:27):
It's all about the visual or about what's happening. It's
got to be the mental aspect that leads up to it.
Speaker 3 (28:34):
Well, it's got to be that we can't ever be
together because I'm scared of intimacy, so I don't really
want us to ever be together. So my my dream
is to never have a chance to actually be with you.
I don't know why I don't have more crushes on
people in prison. Yeah, because that's the ultimate. I can't
be with them.
Speaker 4 (28:51):
Really, A horned up book called Romeo and Juliet.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
I think that's what I think. That's what fucking did
it to me is that movie in eighth grade.
Speaker 4 (29:01):
It's got everything on request. It's got suicide teens, it's.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
Got a fish tank, it's got kissing in a pool,
it's got suicide.
Speaker 4 (29:13):
Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 3 (29:14):
I loved everything about that movie. It's that That what
I think that really did affect my brain today to
talk about that. Yeah, I have never heard of it.
But there's just a movie that I really loved. Boz
Lerman wrote this.
Speaker 4 (29:31):
Movie, beist movie deep Water that came. Yes, I did.
Speaker 3 (29:37):
That was no because she, like he knew she was
cheating on him, and so it's not fun. Like he
knew he was being cooked and that's no fun, Like
I need them to be like getting.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
Away with it. Yeah, well I never cheated on anyone, by.
Speaker 3 (29:52):
The way, so this isn't I've been a part of
being I've I've been with men who are cheating on
their girlfriend, and that, sorry, has turned me on in
the past.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
I hate to say it, but I've never I don't.
I don't know what. I don't like the idea of
I guess I yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:06):
I just like when two people like they wish they
could be together and like if circumstances were different, we would,
but we can't. Like that is so hot to me,
Like if this dumb woman didn't exist, like it would
be us because that is so many times, Like think
of how many shows you root for a person who's
(30:27):
cheating on his girlfriend to be with the girl, but
then in real life we go, how dare she? That's
the way, he's such a fucking scum. But in Friends.
I've made this point before, but it's so funny how
we pick and choose, like a man who cheats is
a fucking Doug and then we go like.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
God, Ross, leave Julie, go for Rachel.
Speaker 5 (30:49):
Every single plot to every every you know, oh, Ross leave, Uh, Emma,
go for go for Rachel, go for Jim Pam Gopher, Jim,
Meg Ryan leave, Greg Kinnear, Meg Ryan Leave, Bill Pullman, Gopher,
Tom hangs Like every single time we're rooting for people.
Speaker 4 (31:10):
To cheat, trying to break up with people. That's really
really Maybe that is what we really liked. It's great
to see her breaking up with someone.
Speaker 3 (31:18):
Yeah, okay, what I had roomined my heart for one
more favorite you romantic you.
Speaker 2 (31:23):
Oh God. I hate when they, like an ed bot
talks to you like it's your front.
Speaker 4 (31:27):
Yeah, no, no, thank you.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
Spotify, just tell me what I need to know.
Speaker 3 (31:31):
My top songs were I Can See You by Taylor
Swift number two, which I predicted on my Instagram story.
I thought this was gonna win my Spotify Route because
I was so obsessed with it. Not Strong Enough by
Boy Genius, one of the best songs ever. Number three,
You're on Your Own Kid, which came out last year.
I don't know that if it made Spotify Route last
(31:53):
year because it came out in late October last year,
so probably didn't make it. Lavender Hayes Taylor Swift, and
then number five the National new order t shirt, which
is one of my favorite songs of all time too,
and I really got into that probably two months ago.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
I was like listening to it on repeat.
Speaker 4 (32:09):
For songs and three others three Swift, two others. Well,
what I'm really interested in this is probably your point
of pride, is what percentage of Swifties you're in? Does it?
Did it do that this year?
Speaker 3 (32:22):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (32:22):
Yeah it did? Okay, Well that's let's that's the headliner
of this little segment is what percentage.
Speaker 3 (32:30):
I'm happy to tell you that I am in the
one percent? Oh my, seriously, Yes, I made it to
the one percent. My peak listening month for Taylor was October.
I uh, yes I did. I'm very excited to tell
everyone I did make it in the top one percent.
And then Taylor Swift also like made a special message
(32:51):
for all the people who listened the most.
Speaker 4 (32:53):
Really, so I got that.
Speaker 3 (32:55):
Yeah, she's like backstage and her lover outfit from tour
and shed a special note. But yeah, I got one percent,
which I'm very happy about it, thank you. Although I
do there are people that are gonna get I mean,
I've been in the Taylor Swift subreddit and it's like
girls are in the point one percent point oh two percent.
I mean, it will give you like all the way
(33:16):
up to that, so it's not it's pretty good because
Taylor Swift is the most popular artist on the planet
next to Bad Bunny, which I don't couldn't name one song,
but honestly, bad Bunny. I mean, I know it's not
in our language, so that's probably, but I couldn't even
recognize the sound of Bad Bunny, and that's on me.
I should have watched his l That is a great question,
(33:38):
and I don't know. I don't know the answer to it,
but yeah, it feels good to be in the one percent.
It's an exciting day. I really thought I wasn't gonna
win because she's gotten so popular over the past year.
I thought, there's no way I'm gonna make in the
one percent. I don't listen all the time. There are
Swifties that leave their phones on constantly because of this moment.
They want Spotify wrapped point one percent, and so they're
(34:01):
gonna get it. I wasn't trying and I gott in
the one percent, so I'm pretty proud of that.
Speaker 4 (34:05):
I wonder if I'm in the one percent of Hans
Zimmer listeners.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Probably the only.
Speaker 4 (34:13):
Imagine Zimmer listeners. You are the only one that listened
to Hans Zimmer.
Speaker 3 (34:22):
I speaking of like listening to something when you're working,
I like, when I'm writing, I feel like the best
music is something you are.
Speaker 2 (34:31):
You don't know the words too fully.
Speaker 4 (34:33):
Or there can't be any words.
Speaker 3 (34:35):
Yeah, instrumental. I would imagine that's true. I like, I,
for some reason have liked stuff that I don't really
know the full words too.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
But I'm like wanting to learn the words too, but
I'm not focused on.
Speaker 4 (34:47):
It too much.
Speaker 3 (34:48):
And so the other day I got obsessed with the
song that I've only heard on tiktoks really okay up until,
like I guess it was two weeks ago. I would
where was I. I was in Portland, which I called
Seattle from stage. By the way, it was so embarrassing.
I was in Portland and on stage I called them Seattle.
(35:10):
But then I go, what's the fucking difference? And they
laughed because I felt raining outside it's cold, there's it
feels amphibious outside. You guys are all wearing marmot jackets.
Come on, you know, like but and I go, I said,
Seattle because I'm taping a special there.
Speaker 4 (35:29):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (35:30):
I felt so bad because I would be so pissed
if someone came to Saint Louis and was like, Kansas City,
what's the And I made a joke of what's the difference,
Like obviously I was trying to be funny, but I
felt I couldn't get it out of my head. Like
the rest of my set, I was just like so embarrassed,
so sad, wanting to make it up to them. I
felt like I all I owed them refunds for their tickets,
like it was like this weird shame spiral. I went
(35:51):
in too, but I was in Portland and I was
writing all day, working on my special before my show
out a Starbucks, and in my headphones, I was playing
this new this song I'd only heard on TikTok's or
like on reels or reposts, because I don't go on TikTok.
And I always have to just say that because people
are going to be like, she's lying, she is on TikTok,
(36:11):
But I really and I'm not. I am kind of
proud of myself for it, because it's like trying. It's
like trying not to vape when you have a vape
on your phone, and I think it's I think TikTok
is true. It's the it's the number one app that
everyone spends the.
Speaker 2 (36:25):
Most time on.
Speaker 4 (36:25):
I think now it's TikTok.
Speaker 3 (36:28):
It's yeah, TikTok is I think the one that's the
biggest time suck. I saw some graph recently, and I
think it's the number one that everyone's losing their killing teenagers, right.
Speaker 4 (36:38):
I just I think it does have the most views.
I mean, but it definitely has the it's the most views,
but it's not the most substantial viewership, Like it doesn't
really mean as much what people do on TikTok as
It doesn't.
Speaker 2 (36:51):
That's what I'm saying. It's it's what they're doing. It's
they're not even getting anything out of it.
Speaker 3 (36:56):
I mean maybe some people are, but brain damage. But
there's this one song. Wait, do you want TikTok to
whatt do you ever go on? No? No, really you
I want to abstain from it. I wish I didn't
go on any social media like Instagram.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
Yeah, but Instagram, you you do do?
Speaker 3 (37:15):
I do do?
Speaker 2 (37:16):
And then how often do you do that?
Speaker 3 (37:19):
Probably like through the day especially when I'm bored or
like waiting for audio to render, I just scroll through.
Speaker 4 (37:25):
Okay, and you don't.
Speaker 2 (37:26):
You don't do it YouTube ever.
Speaker 3 (37:28):
Uh not unless I'm looking for like a podcast or
like a particular thing. I used to not be a
YouTuber either, Like I'm like, why do people just go
on YouTube and just like let videos roll into each other?
Speaker 4 (37:40):
Or like you just what do you do?
Speaker 3 (37:42):
Like I only go to YouTube to like look up
a certain video. But now that I'm subscribed to certain
things and it knows what I like, Like I can
go on the home thing and it's it's serving me
up stuff.
Speaker 4 (37:54):
I like you has the best algorithm. It knows what
you want to watch before you even realize you want to.
Speaker 2 (37:58):
Watch it, truly.
Speaker 4 (38:00):
And what's great about YouTube is that it's longer form content.
So like if you're on Instagram or TikTok, you have
to constantly be interacting with your phone, whereas like if
you're cooking or something and you just want some quote
unquote content to be playing, you can just hit play
on a twenty minute YouTube video and it's just someone
talking or whatever. Sometimes it's the Nikki Glazer podcast on YouTube,
(38:20):
but other times it's just like whatever, it's just gonna
be anything, and it's just background noise most of the
time that you don't have to keep interacting with, which
is why TikTok is flawed, because you have to like
constantly touch TikTok in order for it to keep serving content.
Or also, I'll just show you the same thirty seconds
on repeat, over and over again.
Speaker 3 (38:40):
Can I ask a question and I want someone's got
to help. If you guys don't do TikTok, so I
don't think you'll know the answer to this.
Speaker 4 (38:46):
I do TikTok, you do, okay?
Speaker 3 (38:49):
Why on TikTok's when a girl is like telling a
story or whatever, do they constantly like have to touch it,
Like after they go like, okay, I'm telling a story
and they're like and then he there, and then they
touch again, and then it like goes to the next
Like why why can't they just tell the whole story
and then edit it later?
Speaker 2 (39:07):
Why do they keep touching it?
Speaker 4 (39:10):
I mean it might be the in app editing software
that they're using that they're touching it to stop and start?
Speaker 2 (39:16):
Does anyone know what I'm talking about?
Speaker 3 (39:18):
Like, I hope someone listening knows what she'll be like,
So I went to the store today and you know,
I usually take Gracie to the market around eleven am.
Speaker 2 (39:26):
Click, So then we go it.
Speaker 3 (39:28):
It's like, just tell the story and stop and then
why do we have to watch your arm go in
for the click every time around that? That's why I annoyed.
If it's an editing, then cut around your arm clicking
on it? Does it jump cut? Is it like an
intentional jump cut? It's it's a it's a jump cut
to the next thing. But they don't take out their
arm touching the thing like that's a part of it.
(39:49):
So we got to watch your arm go in to
press on the phone each time. It's so annoying. I
don't get it.
Speaker 2 (39:55):
But anyway, like.
Speaker 4 (39:56):
Such boomers, right, and we're like, we don't know who
bad Bunny is and why is it on TikTok to it?
Speaker 3 (40:04):
Well, I will say Bad Bunny is probably a prolific
and amazing musician, and I just he's like the Pele
of music and I just have never heard, you know,
like I don't know, like he's he's messy, like he's
bigger than anyone I could ever imagine.
Speaker 2 (40:18):
But I don't I'm somehow out of it. I am
a loser for that.
Speaker 3 (40:21):
But this TikTok thing I'm not an old person is
just a waste of everyone's time. To see your arms
stretch forward to touch the thing, Well, I don't get it.
Speaker 4 (40:28):
That's why they get passed by Lionel Messi, by the way,
number one amount of followers on Instagram. He has the
most out of anybody.
Speaker 3 (40:36):
It doesn't surprise me anymore. It used to because I
was just like, who is this and why do so like?
But now I get it.
Speaker 2 (40:46):
Soccer is every Did you know who Lione almost?
Speaker 1 (40:49):
He was?
Speaker 2 (40:49):
No, you look confused.
Speaker 3 (40:51):
I thought he was like a tennis player. But soccer
makes sense.
Speaker 4 (40:59):
Yeah, I return to the Spotify rapped real quick.
Speaker 3 (41:01):
Yeah you so so.
Speaker 4 (41:03):
My top artists are the guy who made the Game
of Throne soundtrack, and then Hans Zimmer, and then Billy
Joel and then Louis Prima and then Lindsay Sterling is
number five. I don't know who that is. I do
who is that? She's a violinist on the Hans Zimmer
song or something that you have someone you don't even know,
(41:24):
And then it says, hold up, there's someone on the
other line, and it's like, oh, who is it gonna be?
And then it's a video from Lindsay Sterling.
Speaker 2 (41:35):
And she's thanking you for listening to her. I don't
even know who this youthing.
Speaker 3 (41:41):
It looks like you're done Jack.
Speaker 4 (41:44):
It does look a lot like that's so funny that Sterling.
But I don't even know that is if she likes you.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
Rap is not uh to like four people, you're one
of them.
Speaker 4 (41:58):
I mean, I'm I'm surprised they were able to get
Lindsay Sterling to do a video.
Speaker 3 (42:01):
Can I just say about the YouTube algorithm? I get
sent like I will see myself pop up on there
all the time. I don't watch anything of myself but
there the other day. It's so embarrassing because my own
podcast has like four thousand views at most. But then
I will there will be a clip that's like Theovaughn
talks to these women. It's like the other day it
(42:23):
was a clip that just said Theovonn talking to women
and my face was on like the cover of it,
and it had like six hundred thousand views.
Speaker 2 (42:33):
It was posted an hour ago. It was like, what
the fuck?
Speaker 3 (42:36):
Like, yeah, it is just so out of control how
much I I don't understand what's going on over there.
Speaker 4 (42:45):
Yeah, I mean that the numbers on YouTube are shocking.
It doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 2 (42:51):
And then it hurts my feelings.
Speaker 4 (42:52):
Yeah, it doesn't make sense that if that low, because
we know for a fact that there's more than three
thousand people. There's substantially more more than three thousand people
that listen to this podcast. And yes, on YouTube, the
numbers are so incredibly backwards it doesn't make any sense.
Like there are there are shows.
Speaker 3 (43:11):
I don't want to give it a view, but I
don't want to see a comment, so I can't give
it a view because.
Speaker 4 (43:16):
The YouTube comments are the only ones I actually read.
The YouTube relents are actually pretty cordial and friendly.
Speaker 3 (43:22):
But oh that's good, let's keep it that way please.
Maybe that's why we don't want our numbers going up.
That's what it's circut means.
Speaker 4 (43:27):
But it is shocking that well, so for THEO Vaughn like,
it's it's the subscriber base like he already has. You know,
however many millions of YouTube subscribers, and we don't We
just don't have that subscriber base yet. And uh, I
don't know why I don't know why Nikki Glazer besties
don't use YouTube as much as they will listen to
(43:48):
a podcast, But it's just a fact.
Speaker 2 (43:51):
Yeah, throw a sub on YouTube.
Speaker 3 (43:54):
It would It would mean a lot, even if you
don't use your YouTube account a lot, Like just go
give us a sub like not that, yeah, because it
awesome and then like thumbs up our videos when they
when you do go on there and see it, like
just throw us the thumbs up.
Speaker 4 (44:07):
You not at all to subscribe to someone on YouTube,
especially if you don't use it, because it's not like Instagram.
Speaker 2 (44:11):
It could hurt them.
Speaker 3 (44:13):
What if their phone's cracked and their thumb hits the
crack and it slices it as they're subscribing.
Speaker 1 (44:20):
Yeah, okay, so you don't have to do if your
phone's cracked, you don't have to do this, okay, yeah yeah,
if you have a good phone, Yeah yeah, it hurts
you not at all because when you subscribe to something
on YouTube, it's not like Instagram, where it shows how
many people you're following and it's like, oh, it's so
embarrassing I have I don't have as many followers as
I am following. Right, you could subscribe to a million
(44:40):
YouTube channels and no one will know.
Speaker 3 (44:43):
Oh that's a good point, and not that anyone would
run to hide that they're subscribing to us.
Speaker 2 (44:47):
What a shameful thing.
Speaker 3 (44:49):
Yeah, that'd be amazing if you go do that right now,
and then we'll see you back here after the break.
Speaker 2 (44:55):
Okay, we're back.
Speaker 3 (44:58):
Going to tomorrow, Yeah, going to Canada tomorrow. I always
get nervous to go to Canada because you have to
go through custom customs and.
Speaker 2 (45:08):
They get mad at me. But I feel okay about
it this time.
Speaker 3 (45:11):
I don't know, and I gotta remember my passport, even
though I've never forgotten it.
Speaker 2 (45:14):
But it's just like it's that's weighing on me and
just I don't know.
Speaker 3 (45:18):
I just I got a lot of anxieties about going
up there and what they're gonna, how they're gonna just
going through.
Speaker 2 (45:24):
I just don't like customs.
Speaker 3 (45:25):
I really think that I would if it were up
to me, I'd never leave America again because I'm so
scared of customs and it gives me so much. It's
like Taylor with the sucker thing at the at the dentist.
It doesn't make sense, but customs take too much time.
The line is always too long, it's too windy. Then
you have to go in, you have to get your bags.
Then you have to show like a little piece of
(45:46):
paper to the guy as you leave with your bags.
And that guy you always feel like is going to
detain you. Too many chances for detainment, yes, and they're
always mean and I don't like it, but I am
excited to go to Toronto.
Speaker 2 (45:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (46:00):
Well, when I was back from Australia, they but when
I was leaving Australia, they interviewed me and they're like,
do you have any fruit? I can't do an Australian accent,
but they ask you all these questions like do you
have any fruit? Did you bring a boomerang? I thought
all I have is a boomerang. I bought a boomerang
from an Indigenous man. And they're like, well, that's going
to be fine. But I didn't.
Speaker 2 (46:19):
I thought you were gonna be that's gonna be fined.
Speaker 4 (46:21):
Yeah, but I did get detained at the border when
I went to Montreal. I was because I have a
criminal record for when I was in college and I
got caught underage drinking and so yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:34):
They I was did they like bust up a party
and like write you all tickets.
Speaker 4 (46:38):
Yeah, well it's it's embarrassing because I had my brothers
expired learners permit that uh and I gave it to
a cop and he said, well, now you're going to
jail because he tried this bullshit and so he took me.
I actually have a bit about it that I tell,
but he took me to jail. I was dressed like
(46:59):
the f from Happy Days because I was at a
Halloween party. Goddamn. Yeah. But years later, I'm going to
Canada and they detained me at the border almost said
border like a can you wait?
Speaker 2 (47:11):
You took a picture like a mug shot as the fawns.
Speaker 4 (47:15):
No, no mugshot. I went into the drunk tanks so
they didn't take a month. Oh I got it, okay,
damn drug tank overnight night.
Speaker 3 (47:23):
Fuck.
Speaker 4 (47:26):
But I was detained at the border and the Canadians
were like they kept me there for like an hour
and the border crossing and they looked up my criminal
record and they said what were you arrested for? And
I was like underage drinking and then and then they
were like how old were you? And I was like
I was twenty when they arrested me and they drink
at eighteen and they're like, oh it's eighteen here, so
(47:47):
get Yeah. Then they let me in.
Speaker 2 (47:49):
I have a little bot blue.
Speaker 4 (47:51):
Yeah, but I was at them. I was sitting there
for an hour. Yeah, they were like investigating me.
Speaker 3 (47:56):
I was like, really, yeah, I got I got things
like sponged from my record and every time I go through,
I go was it a sponge?
Speaker 4 (48:03):
Well, so mine was supposed to be expunged. I went
to my class.
Speaker 2 (48:06):
They don't exponge everything.
Speaker 4 (48:08):
Really exponge if if you're a different government than you
can find out if like all the exponged it. But
it's not like other foreign governments aren't going to be
able to do their research. They do have anything to
do with us, right, wanted to find out if I
got a ticket, they're going to find out.
Speaker 2 (48:24):
I don't think you could go to Canada if you
have a duy, like if you've had a DUI in America,
that's the reason you would have access to that. I'm
just kidding.
Speaker 3 (48:32):
I love Canada. I don't know the database. Man, it's
all in the cloud because it's on your Instagram. Maybe
don't post on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (48:43):
Oh yeah, but no, I think that that's all they
have access.
Speaker 4 (48:46):
To that stuff.
Speaker 3 (48:47):
So it's like a global database.
Speaker 4 (48:49):
I guess, sharing information and they have their ways.
Speaker 3 (48:52):
Yeah, it's but I'm excited to go there because the
girl that is opening for me, Norhadidi, she is like,
she's a swift and so we're gonna swift the fuck
out go pretty crazy because we get we get into.
Speaker 2 (49:05):
Some pretty intense stuff.
Speaker 3 (49:07):
And I'm very excited because Taylor finally put on Spotify
this new song that was only on this like special
target edition of her album. It's called You're Losing Me,
and she wrote it about her boyfriend, who, like they
clearly it's a Midnights, it's an extra Midnight song, and
Midnights is a breakup album, even though there's lots of
(49:29):
songs about Joe being like, oh I love him so much,
but like we all know now as a breakup album
because now they're broken up, and like obviously when she
was writing that album, it was the beginning of the end,
because no one breaks up immediately when they're ready to
break up. It's like takes a while, especially when you're
a seven year relationship. So the song You're Losing Me
is so good and it's all about like he's not.
(49:50):
She's like, how do you how do you not even
under How did you not see the signs coming? How
is this surprising to you? You like kind of you were.
Speaker 2 (50:01):
Like, wait, let me look at the lyrics because they're
so good.
Speaker 3 (50:04):
But I'm so glad it's finally released because I was
only able to listen to it on like Weird Tiktoks.
Speaker 4 (50:09):
Before yea a target specific album, like like when Starbucks
has an album kind no.
Speaker 3 (50:16):
Well there's like special releases. She only does through target
that have like certain vault tracks. So the lyrics are
you say I don't understand, and I say I know
you don't, which is like, that's like such a cra
I love that line because it's like how many breakups
when someone's like I don't understand and the person's just
like can you imagine the person saying back to you,
I know you don't. Like there's no like sorry, there's
(50:38):
no me being like, well it's because of this. It's
just like saying like I know you don't. Like we're done,
he said, she said. We thought a cure would come
through in time. Now I fear it won't. Remember looking
at this room, we loved it because of the light.
Now I just sit in the dark and wonder if
it's time do I throw out everything we built or
keep it. I'm getting tired, even for a phoenix, always
(50:59):
rising from the ashes, mending all her gashes. You might
just have dealt the final blow. And then she says, stop,
you're losing me. Because she's kind of like you could
tell she's in an argument. She's like, stop, you're losing me. Like,
and I also like, you're losing me because it's something
you say to someone over the phone where you're like,
you're losing me. I can't hear you, but it's like
she's like, and then she says, I can't find a pulse.
(51:20):
My heart won't start anymore for you because you're losing me.
Every morning I glared at you with storms in my eyes,
and this is the line I like, how can you
say that you love someone you can't tell is dying.
She's like, I've been this relationship I've been dying in
and you don't even notice. How can you say you
love someone that you can't tell is dying. I sent
you signals and bit my nails down to the quick.
(51:42):
I don't know what the quick means. But I'm guessing,
like the blood, like I bit my nails, like I
sent you signals. I'm like constantly being nervous. I seem
very upset. My face was gray, but you wouldn't admit
that we were sick. And the air is thick with
loss and indecision. I know, my pain is such an imposition.
Now you're running down. Now you're running down the hallway,
and you know what they all say. You don't know
(52:03):
what you got until it's gone. And then yeah, I
was like so Shakespearean speaking of yeah, the bridge is
how long could we be? How long could we be
a sad song till we're too far gone to bring
back to life. I gave you all my best mees,
my endless empathy, and all I did was bleed. Is
I tried to be the bravest soldier fighting in only
(52:25):
your army front lines.
Speaker 2 (52:26):
Don't you ignore me? I'm the best thing at this party.
Speaker 3 (52:29):
So he's obviously at there at a party, and she's like,
I'm right here, you're talking to everyone else.
Speaker 2 (52:35):
I'm the best thing at this party.
Speaker 3 (52:37):
You're losing me, And then this is the best And
I wouldn't marry me either a pathological people pleaser who
only wanted you to see her. And I'm fade and thinking,
do something, babe, say something.
Speaker 2 (52:50):
And this is the part where she's like he had
a chance.
Speaker 3 (52:52):
She's like, do something, babe, say something, lose something, babe,
risks something like lose like to take a fucking risk,
don't look cool, try to try to fight for me.
Choose something, babe. I've got nothing to believe unless you're
choosing me. So he never chose her, and so she's like,
(53:13):
peace out, what up Trav? And now she's just Travis
Kelce and the song rules, So yeah, check out You're
losing me. It's a new song on on for Taylor
Swift's it's on her Spotify. It's on Spotify now, too
late to get it on wrapped though. And then the
other song I'm obsessed with real quick is that I
was gonna say, is the only one I've been hearing
(53:33):
on TikTok is.
Speaker 2 (53:38):
You probably heard it. I would want myself baby, Please
believe me. I'll pull you through hell. Do you know
what I'm talking about? No, it's in so many tiktoks
you would.
Speaker 3 (53:50):
You wouldn't know if I was playing it but it's
called Greedy by Tate McCrae and she was on SNL
last week. And it's so weird because I listened to
the song every single like, I listened to it. Problem,
it's gonna be my Spotify rap next year. I listened
to it like a hundred times one day and it's
to only two minutes long, so it's really short.
Speaker 2 (54:08):
And then all of a sudden that night when I
was in Portland, she was on SNL that night. I
was like, this is so weird. It's all lining up.
She's an amazing dancer, she's so hot.
Speaker 4 (54:18):
One of the main thing, one of the main purposes
of TikTok is to get musicians exposure if a TikTok
sound goes viral and it's in all sorts of people's tiktoks,
and I know, but I was.
Speaker 3 (54:29):
Hearing it on TikTok for months before I go, I gotta,
I gotta put this in, and like, see what the
fuck this song is?
Speaker 4 (54:36):
Yeah, it was.
Speaker 3 (54:37):
It was programmed.
Speaker 2 (54:38):
It was weird that it all lined.
Speaker 4 (54:40):
Up perfect, And then I guess that feel cool. I
feel part of the zeit guys, you're part of the guys.
But it's it's it's all tapped in.
Speaker 2 (54:48):
I don't know who bad Bunny is.
Speaker 4 (54:49):
They they probably made that song specifically had a hook
in it that would be good for TikTok.
Speaker 3 (54:55):
You gotta watch Tate McCrae's video for Greedy. It's so
fucking hot she It has been so long. I played
Chris video and we were like, we both agreed, it's
been so long since we had like a hot pop star,
like a Britney spears a like I'm gonna see Jlo
like Tate McCrae, mc mcc no, mcr ae McCrae. Yeah,
(55:21):
and it's called Greedy. She's Canadian. It's all at a
it's at a hockey rink. And the way she moves
her body, she's an amazing dancer. She's I think she
started out as a dancer. She's been dancing her whole life.
She's only I think twenty years old, maybe nineteen, but
she is so confident, she is so cool.
Speaker 2 (55:36):
I love her dance moves. She is so sexy.
Speaker 3 (55:39):
It would have been inappropriate for me to say that
she's so sexy three years ago, which is weird, but
now you can say it. And just the way her
like body bends and like the way she dances in
her face, like she just is cool.
Speaker 2 (55:52):
Like she's not.
Speaker 3 (55:53):
It doesn't look like she's trying to art, even though
there's so many scenes where her body is contorted in
all these ways that you're like, whoa, Chris even goes
she's shaking in that contortion right there. She's obviously trying hard.
I'm like, no, she's so cool.
Speaker 2 (56:04):
She's assass.
Speaker 3 (56:05):
I mean, it looks like she's a former ballet dancer.
She's legit dog, she's like and this song Greedy is
so good, and I guess she has some other ones
that are even bigger, but it's my new favorite song.
Speaker 2 (56:16):
Okay, we gotta go.
Speaker 3 (56:17):
Thank you for listening to the show. I'll see you
this week in Toronto, in Pittsburgh, Detroit. I'll see you
next week in Brea, California. I'll be there with Brian
at the Brea Improv and then in Spokane, Washington on
the fourteenth, and then for my special taping December sixteenth
in Seattle.
Speaker 2 (56:33):
And then if you're in the Denver area, I'm.
Speaker 3 (56:35):
Going to be New Year's Eve Eve and New Year's
Eve at the Paramount in Denver, get your tickets now.
Nicki glazer dot com also just release tickets for tomorrow
they go on sale. They're on pre sale now use
code good but for Saint Louis, Kansas City, and Atlanta
for twenty twenty four dates.
Speaker 2 (56:53):
You can check those at Nicky glays dot com. Use
code good right now.
Speaker 3 (56:56):
Tomorrow they go on sale for Friday one, but pre
sale yeah tomorrow Friday, but today they are on a
pre sale use code good for for Atlanta, Saint Louis,
and Kents City, which I'm so excited about.
Speaker 4 (57:10):
All Right, the sun has stopped shining in through the window,
so maybe.
Speaker 2 (57:13):
We could Yeah, look at our look at our YouTube
video of this.
Speaker 3 (57:18):
See it looks like an angel perfect. It was like
hellish before you were like you're going to be burned.
Later on you're gonna look like you have ezema with
all the different spots. It was traveling all over face.
Not that that's a bad thing to look like. Try
resulty for ask your doctor about exalty or whatever thing is?
Is it just me or there's tons of exzema commercials.
Speaker 4 (57:38):
There's a lot eradicate it with medicaid.
Speaker 3 (57:42):
I've never once seen exeba and God ew. That person
is disgusting. If you have exzema, it's okay, but you know,
try the meds. But like, if you do have it,
I also don't care. And I love you all right,
I love everyone.
Speaker 2 (57:55):
Thank you so much. Don't be and get to get
sim and down
The Nicky Gliser podcastser.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Nicky, Hello here, I am welcome to the show. It's
a Nicky Glazer podcast.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
Before we get started, want to remind everyone I'm spent
taving a special in Seattle on December sixteenth that's coming
up in almost two weeks now in Seattle. Oh shit, noah.
And I was like, what does that sound? It sounded
like a toy. Yeah yeah, I did, like a windy witch.
Speaker 4 (00:39):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Yeah, there's two shows on December sixteenth on Saturday. And
want besties to go, really want to populate the crowd
with them. I'm taping the special for a reputable Yeah, yeah,
I really want.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
I'm going to start my own call Triplet Flames. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
And uh so their tickets still available, I think mainly
to there's single tickets, a lot of single tickets, I think,
not a lot, but enough to the first show if
you want to go alone, and then to the second
show for sure, there's many. And then I have lots
of shows coming up this weekend. Toronto, Toronto, wait, Toronto.
Last time I was there, I kept saying Toronto and
(01:26):
everyone was like, it's Toronto, and I'm like, well, then
tell your city's spelling because there's an extra tea in there,
and I like to hit it Toronto, right, But I'm
not going to say that in Toronto, Toronto this weekend.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Louisville, louis Yeah, Louisville. Yeah, that's a.
Speaker 4 (01:43):
That's a.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
But that's like south like Toronto.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
You think Canadians would be meticulous about hitting every celeble.
Speaker 4 (01:50):
Yeah, yes, exactly. It's not New York.
Speaker 3 (01:53):
City, say, and then uh, Toronto, and then Munhole, Pennsylvania,
which is really very close to Pittsburgh. I don't know
why all of my things say Munholl because it's not
helpful to literally anyone. It's not like I don't know
the little cities outside Saint Louis.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
So if someone was like, I'm coming to.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Munhole, Missouri, if that was nearby, I wouldn't know, and
then I would just miss it.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Because so that's Pittsburgh if you're in the area.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
And then and then Saturday in Detroit and tonight at
the Funny Bone Detroit, Detroit, Troy, and then uh yeah,
tonight in Saint Louis.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
So I have four nights in a row. I think,
how are you feeling?
Speaker 3 (02:36):
How are you feeling two weeks ahead of your special exhausted.
I am chronically tired. And it's not because the special
I don't think. I'm just like, it's never enough. I
always want to get back in there whenever I wake up,
even if it's a nightmare, I want to get back
in my nightmare.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
I want to get back.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
I had a nightmare about Marilyn Manson had snuck me
on a spaceship, really hot blonde girl, and he was
making us make out and I really didn't want to
and I couldn't find my shoes and I wanted to
go work out.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
It's the whole thing.
Speaker 4 (03:04):
Wow, Wow, I feel like, who's Marilyn Manson? Is that
Chris may Manson?
Speaker 3 (03:13):
I think is well. I watched Fargo last night, the
new season. Do you watch that?
Speaker 4 (03:19):
I wish I did, but I just can't.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
I've never What do you mean you can't.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
There's no reason why I haven't watched it. I heard
it's amazing.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
You never watched it, like ever in the history of
it's season five. I think I've never watched any season.
I have only seen the movie Fargo, which is nothing
like the show. But I'm watching the new season and
it's terrifying. Killy from Ted last I was in it.
But she doesn't talk like this. Oh, she talks like,
you know, oh yeah, we gotta go get the groceries,
(03:50):
and oh my god, it's snowing outside and everyone has
this like really, I guess it's the Minnesota accent sounds fake,
especially when you expect the person saying it to sound
very British.
Speaker 4 (04:00):
Yeah, she's right.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
I think she's.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
British as fuck, man like, but who knows. Maybe she's
putting on that accent for ted Lesard. No, I think
she's very British. But she is nailing that accent and
she's great in this, but it's so scary. There's this
one scene in the first episode spoiler alert, but it's
not like it's early in the episode, so I don't
know if that counts as a spoiler.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
I'm bad at spoilers. I'm sorry everyone.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
I know I ruined everything for you, But like, maybe
this is the way you're supposed to hear it the
first time, and maybe you can have the same kind
of shock that you would in this moment. But it
happens like within the first I would say, fifteen minutes
of the episode, probably earlier.
Speaker 4 (04:38):
It happens with the first fifteen episodes.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Yeah, we watched three episodes last night. It was a lot.
But it's so scary. It's so I would never be
able to watch this alone. Never. What is scary?
Speaker 3 (04:51):
Is it like monster scari like murder scary? It's murder scary.
It's like psychopath mean people scary. John Hamm plays a
really bad person. Man, does he play it well? He
does a better job of playing mean people than nice people,
which hmmm, I wonder why so read Kathy Griffith's book,
so I uh read.
Speaker 4 (05:13):
Read it also makes him three dimensional because he presents
himself like a nice guy and so when he's mean,
it like really adds to.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
The Oh he's scary at fuck man, you don't want
to get on his bad side. That that Don Draper,
that like the stern drawn Draper comes out. That's why
I think John, I think he's more like I think
he is like Don Draper.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
There's two sides to that guy.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
But he is evil in this so scary as a
nipples pierced, which is weird.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
I don't even know how they fake that he can't
be pierced.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
Yeah, that barreled chest with those nipples piers and then
at one point, he gets out of a tub and
you know he notoriously has his packing because we've which
is none of our business, but we've but gun or
balls come on Ham John Ham's Ham.
Speaker 4 (06:01):
Do you remember all the pictures he's got that ham bone?
Speaker 2 (06:05):
You don't remember this.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
I don't seek out John Ham's.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Neither did I. But they were everywhere everywhere? Yeah, I
really no. What do you remember?
Speaker 4 (06:14):
Yes, everywhere, but somehow coming through your window right now?
Speaker 2 (06:18):
See why is it on your screen? Yeah, it's it's
zooming in. Yeah. So it's he gets out of a
hot tub.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
And he had to have had that thing tacked on
because the way his legs are spread, you would be
able to see it through the back like we only
see a backside shot. Oh so the whole time, I'm
like waiting for it to drop, because like a wrap up,
but it never does.
Speaker 4 (06:45):
Well, hot though, you know that's that's shrinkage, Just George,
that's hot. Yeah but hot right, so cold as shrinkage.
I feel like you'll shrink either way.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Well, that's your experience.
Speaker 4 (06:58):
We just learned something of you.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
Makes it loose.
Speaker 4 (07:03):
Mine gets really big and cold.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Wait whoa yes, wait, I was thinking the other day
that like because I'm I'm talking about in my set,
I'm talking about like how your vagina like changes shape
as you get older, and like you know, gravity just
takes hold of everything. And men must be excited about
gravity for their dicks, right, like when it gets older,
(07:26):
it gets saggier. They must like the sagginess for their penis,
I know, not for your balls.
Speaker 4 (07:30):
That's probably the problem is the balls which are outside
our body, which is a you know, I think a
design flaw, but they do. I have heard tail as
you would that be outside just to keep it cooler.
It needs to be two degrees cooler so that the
spurms way.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Is that true?
Speaker 4 (07:48):
True?
Speaker 5 (07:49):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (07:49):
Oh my god, But you know it's like can't you
just you know, make the pelvic area love like grilling
and like refrigeration stats that's a man thing to be,
Like we gotta keep it outside because like you guys
love like taking food and putting it in different places
to make it the best or like I don't know
what I'm trying to say, but okay.
Speaker 4 (08:11):
No about that station plumbing. But yeah, I've heard tail
that when you get older, your balls can sack slowly
hit the toilet water when you sit down. Oh yeah,
so luckily I'm not there, and I think there's.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
More toilet water, I know, touching that sack.
Speaker 4 (08:29):
Yeah, you feel bad if the toilet water have a GoFundMe.
That's trying to change this, but mostly it just sucks
because you'd have no control over it. I can't do
keegeles for it or anything. It's just sagging.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
And I don't think it's You're nice though, that you
can't do anything. It's just the way it is.
Speaker 4 (08:44):
It's freeing that. Yeah, your balls are gonna like that.
You're gonna get older, and your nose is gonna get bigger,
your ears are gonna get bigger. Your ball sack's gonnaet bigger.
And I think your dick stays the same, which makes
it a disproportionate a little bit.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
When it's oh yeah, well it's got a.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
It's got a it's got a droop a little bit
based on just gravity, like when it's when it's soft,
it's got to like sag more.
Speaker 4 (09:09):
Yeah, I mean i've seen some all which is at school.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
I'm trying to get my kid.
Speaker 4 (09:16):
Yeah, I think I've seen you know, it's hard to
say because i've seen old man dicks before, like in
the gym, locker room or something, and I always think
they're big. Whenever I see one, I think it's.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Gigantic, So maybe, yeah, that's the sag effect.
Speaker 4 (09:29):
I've never like looked over at someone at a Europe
and be like, oh boy, tiny dick, that's tough for you.
Always over every time I go and I peek over
just to see what I'm working against and against you seension,
I've never seen one and I was like, oh good,
I'm this is a really small dick you have. It's
always been like, whoa, how the fuck were you from Europe?
(09:52):
I always think they're from eastern Europe or something. That's
why their dicks are so big. I don't know why
I think you're what that is about? Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (10:00):
I want to talk about Oh yeah, John ham So
Jon Hamm is in the show. He's evil, and then Kaylee,
isn't it that? And I love Keeley's teeth. If everyone
knows what I'm talking about. Kiely from ted Lasso. Yeah,
she's got like these. She's got like a lip that
goes out by her teeth, and her teeth that like
kind of look like they're like like they're you're doing
(10:22):
this with your hands like when you do like cat
hands and you're like where are like her teeth all
go together, but they're they're not like crooked they I
love her mouth.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
I'm obsessed with it. And even no her name is,
it kind of looks like temple.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
Mouth. Yeah. Well, Chris kept saying she looks like Kirsten
and I didn't see it, so maybe that's true. Like
there's just like, yeah, maybe it does have a little
bit of there's like it's like a cat mouth. She
kind of has a cat mouth where it's like there's
like the lips that go over, Like she looks like
she's in the movie Cats, you know, Like however when
that movie had like a there's but I love it.
(11:01):
I'm like obsessed with how when she like smiles and
it just like comes up. It's not like most people
smile where it's like gets big.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
She just like lifts.
Speaker 4 (11:10):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
It's so good looking at a picture of her, she
looks like Jamie Lee. She's so cute.
Speaker 4 (11:16):
Doesn't look like Jamie Lee ye.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Ted last for ted Lasson.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
Yeah. Yeah, So she's in it, and she in one
scene is sitting in her like TV room knitting, and
it's the scariest.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Thing I've ever seen in my life.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
She's like watching TV and she's like watching this like
Minnesota Morning Show and she's kind of just like, oh,
just like watching it and like kind of laughing along,
and like you can tell she's a real simple lady.
And then all of a sudden, this guy with like
a burlap sack mask over his face, real tall guy
walks up during the daytime, which makes it even creepier
(11:57):
for some reason, walks up up to her window, like
you know, it's like a full length almost door type
window thing like right next to the TV. And he's
carrying a hammer and he's just very calmly looking at
her and just walks up and it's just very slowly.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
I don't like that.
Speaker 3 (12:16):
I wanted to be fast. If you're gonna attack to
it fast, yes, And so she is just like she's
sitting there and she's just like and he walked. Then
he slowly starts pacing around to another window and he's
standing there and that's when I close my eyes and
I go, Chris, I cannot handle this. You're gonna have
to pretend like I'm blind, Like You're gonna have to
(12:39):
describe it to me. Pretend I'm you're blind. Like Chris
dated a girl who was blind in the past. He
was having who was going blind, and she was like
going to be fully blind. And I think he kind
of liked it because it's like he loves to help.
And so I was like, I don't think it bothered
him at all. I think he loved it. Like I
don't think he if I told him, you know, those
(13:00):
girls give those scenarios like what if I had no
arms or legs? Would you still love me? There's a
part of me that thinks Chris would like me more
like it would be he would be more there for me.
He loves to help, right, so relationship goals someday Fingers crossed.
(13:21):
I can tap my hammer, so I am baring my
face into the couch, but not too much because my
couch is white and I always have broadcha on my face,
so I like put a blanket.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
Then my face my fucking couch.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
I can't even sit on my with my pure body
because I always have tan that's gonna come off on it.
So never been able to sit upon my couch, so
I'm hiding my eyes and I'm like, Chris, you've got
to describe the scene to me. You got and he's
not very good, like he'd be a great blind boyfriend
and like boyfriend to the blind and in terms of
like helping getting my cane, like getting things warm, me
(13:55):
making sure like I but if he's got to step
it up, if I'm gonna go blind with show description,
because he's like because then I will see the scene
change because I'll see like a flicker of light.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
And I'm like, okay, now what And he's like, oh now,
the guy with a hammer is like inside the house.
Speaker 3 (14:09):
I'm like, how did he get in? Like he's not
telling me the So then I like went over to
him and I'm like, you gotta tell me, Like I'm
your blind ex girlfriend. Pretend i'm her and I know
her name, and so I was like, you got it.
And so now I'm like, pretend i'm her, and he's like,
your tits need to be bigger, and so then I
started inflating my tits and he was like bigger, bigger,
and and then I got almost offended. I was like, wait,
(14:30):
did your blind girlfriend have huge boobs? And he's like yeah,
And I was like then I was like, I'm going
over the other side of the couch. I have small boobs,
I'm not even blind, and I got like hurt.
Speaker 4 (14:41):
While the background, John Hamm is hammering this woman.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
Yes, but she she she does. Yeah, she's a big
part of the show. So I knew she wasn't gonna
get hammered to death. He didn't hammer, but he But
it's so scary, do you you agree? So scary to
see someone slow when they are ready to murder.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Also worst death imaginable hammer.
Speaker 3 (15:08):
God.
Speaker 4 (15:09):
Did you see the new Batman movie with Robert Pattinson.
It's of course not okay, Well, there's a little bit
of that hammer slow hammer action in that there slow hammer,
slow hammer. I mean this is really truly creepy. Uh
slow hammer action. That the villain is played by the
guy the the guy who played the young priest. And
(15:32):
there will be blood. Did you see there will be
blood with also.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
Slow hammer action that wait, no, no, no, that's the
other one there was.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
There will be the blood. And then there's like the
one with the cattle, with the cattle, Oh yeah, that's god,
what the hell is that came out at the same time.
Speaker 4 (15:49):
No Country, No Country for Old man, those two movies
came at the same time, and it's like, what is
going on in the world?
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Yeah that was so that movie's all slow hammer.
Speaker 4 (15:57):
This year is crazy.
Speaker 3 (15:59):
Uh well yeah that both both advertayes okay they do, okay, yeah.
Speaker 4 (16:05):
Well you know, No Country for Old Man has one
of like the most horrifying deaths of all time, which
is when he's impersonating the police officer. He pulls over
the person and then he has the thing that shoots
air into cattle's heads to kill them, and he just
says it's it's almost like the guy is going under
a sobriety test and he says, stand still. And the
worst part is is he's just complicit and docile and
(16:26):
he stands there and he's like, yes, sir, and just
like that, he drops down, takes the car, drives off.
Speaker 3 (16:34):
There's a lot of depths like that, Yes, like calm psychopath.
That's where that's when we started calling this guy a psychopath.
Like we don't even know his name, but I just
keep going because that if he were like frantic, we
would just be calling him like the killer, but instead
we're calling him psychopath because and it was interesting to
me because I'm like, why is Chris all of a
sudden saying okay, now the psychopath is I'm like, he
(16:54):
made up that term because this guy is too calm. Yeah,
but also I watched an interview with a psychopath the
other day that was really interesting real Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
It was Peers Morgan being interviewed and.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Nice Peers Morgan, who I don't particularly like, but he
was interviewing this child psychopath who killed his sister when
he was twelve and she was like six, and they
were like, they had all this footage of them being
like sweet brother and sister, and then he murdered his
sister's Americans. He murdered his sister because he hated his
(17:32):
mom and he was gonna murder his mom, but he
decided the thing that it would hurt his mom more
is to murder his sister, because it would not only
take away his sister, but it would also take away
him for prison for life.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
And he wanted to hurt his mom.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
As deeply as possible, and so that was his reason
because he was planning on murdering his mom. But there's
all this footage of them as kids and him being
so sweet to his sister, looking after her like you
would think they were like the best.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
He was the best little brother in the world.
Speaker 3 (18:01):
So it's truly and then Piers Morgan interviews him, and
this guy's face just looks so like you've seen memes
of this guy's face.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
It's fucking scary as fuck. But I was so scary.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
I think that's why I had the Marilyn Manson dream
last night. It's because of the hammertime of just like
like scary looking cal murderers. And yeah, and so Fargo
was terrifying. Chris described it all to me, it sounded
terrifying at least, Oh my god, it but it's really good.
I'm actually looking forward to watching more of it because
we watched three episodes and I was like kind of
(18:34):
had to twist my arm to walk to it. At first,
I really wanted to watch another doc that I Apparently
there's this doc called like The Truth of Love or
Love Is the Way or Love is the I forget
what it is, but all of my friends on girls
Chat are freaking out about it, saying it's the most
fucked up doc yet. So if you know what I'm talking,
Robin Williams is involved somehow. I don't even know what,
(18:56):
I know, why are you pulling him into this? But
like I guess they are making him some sort of
prophet or something I don't even understand. But we're gonna
go to break and come back with more after this.
This morning, I woke up to my favorite It's my
favorite time of year. It might be my favorite day
of the year, I think, besides maybe like the day
(19:18):
before Christmas.
Speaker 4 (19:19):
I really like the day.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
Before Christmas because it's like, you know, gooning for Christmas.
Speaker 4 (19:23):
But this day is pretty good.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
Yeah, yeah, I guess they call it that. Yeah, yeah, gooning.
Speaker 3 (19:33):
Yeah, let it goon, let it goon, Let it goon Okay,
So today is Spotify wrapped?
Speaker 4 (19:40):
Oh yeah, I got it.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
Did you get yours? Do you listen to Spotify?
Speaker 4 (19:47):
Do?
Speaker 3 (19:48):
Okay? Lot?
Speaker 4 (19:50):
I mean Kirsten doesn't.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
Anya barely does it, and I think she rolls her
eyes at it because I think she is just like
you know, she's she's she's upset with Spotify because she
gets those checks.
Speaker 4 (20:03):
For like Spotify makes people who have Pandora feel so bad.
It's like having an Apple phone versus having uh a
droid Android. Yeah, It's like I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
So I switched from art. I was an audio baby
back in the day.
Speaker 3 (20:19):
That's like Chris, Yeah, it's gone now, But I used
to use a different service until spot Then Spotify Wrapped
came out maybe the first or second time, and I
was like, I can't miss this again. This is exciting.
I like finding out things about myself. This is like
taking an enneagram and like you're and if you're someone
who likes music, it's just so fun to see your data.
(20:42):
And I know it's like they sell it all and
they use it all against you, but it's so I
love Spotify rap and I hate everyone being snarky about it.
I like people Spotify raps are so snarky about Spotify.
They hate it because everyone is bragging about how cool
their music tastes are or whatever. And everyone who has
(21:03):
lame music tastes or doesn't use Spotify wrapped or are
so or like uses Apple Music, are so jealous.
Speaker 4 (21:09):
Yeah, and they don't like it.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
But it's fun.
Speaker 3 (21:11):
It's fun and you are just open your mind to it,
like be interested in other people find it. It tells
you so much about someone. So wait, let's look at
let's hear your Spotify rapped. This is exciting because you're
looking at it for the first time.
Speaker 4 (21:23):
Says me, I'm opening Spotify for the first time.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Well, it has to take you through that whole fucking stuy.
I don't like how long the stories say. It's pretty well,
this year you visited seven countries with your music, and
then it's bump burn bank Bank, and then this country's
come up slowly, and you're like, I don't give a
fuck where.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
My music was.
Speaker 3 (21:41):
Yeah, look at this bullshit. Oh hell you wow you hey, Brian,
I can't read what that says, Brian. You gotta tell
us it's rap time.
Speaker 4 (21:50):
Twenty twenty three was a feast for your ears. You
listened to fifty seven genres.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
What I only listened to seven? A fifty seven?
Speaker 4 (22:00):
No, no, Now it's showing me a sandwich.
Speaker 3 (22:03):
I know the sandwich graphic goes on for a bit.
The most you listened to was okay. Now look now
it's showing you Okay.
Speaker 4 (22:10):
Rap was number one. I was just surprised. I guess
I can really listen to a lot of rap at
the end of the year, because I was whenever I
work out, I listened to like hardcore rap to really
pump me up. Yeah, from like the Creed soundtrack or something.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
Okay, people there, Oh it's not you don't listen to Creed.
You listen to the Creed.
Speaker 4 (22:31):
Breed soundtrack with Michael B. Jordan. You played two thousand songs.
One really connected. It was the main theme from The
Dark Knight Rises. Oh, because I listened to that when
I'm writing. What it's like. It's like it's like a classical,
intense music. I just listened to it. What I do
is I listened to it over and over again on repeat. Yeah.
(22:55):
So the main theme from The Dark Knight Rises is
my number one song. And then number too is you
make Me Feel Like Dancing? Stop?
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Wait, what's that one?
Speaker 4 (23:05):
Dancing?
Speaker 3 (23:06):
I want to dance?
Speaker 2 (23:07):
Dan, that's not a great song.
Speaker 4 (23:13):
When do you listen to that? What are you doing?
I think I used to listen to that every morning. Uh,
and when I get up to make myself feel better
about my life.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
That's so cute.
Speaker 4 (23:23):
And then get Out of My Way, which is a
rap song that is really good for working out too,
and then a Game of Thrones soundtrack because I would
listen to that when I was writing, and then another
a song from Creed. These are weird, I mean, this
is like a wait, mine tells me?
Speaker 3 (23:40):
So I thought it was going to tell me where
I like, what's where my music is from? Because it's
like you're listening all over the world. It's where you live.
What what city in the world you listened most? Like,
Oh wow, I feel pretty cool. Mine's Cambridge, Massachusetts.
Speaker 4 (23:56):
Oh wow, very smart? Harvard? Baby wow, I was just
in Cambridge. Oh yeah, very smart. Mine is Saint Louis Epispo,
which is where Apple is.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Really that's where she's for.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
I think that's where she's No, that's Copertino, San Louibispo
is where cal Polly is.
Speaker 4 (24:16):
Oh yes, I'm I'm a big cal poly guy.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
Okay, yes, thought people.
Speaker 4 (24:21):
They are far more likely to be fans of Duckworth,
asap Ferg and Dreamville.
Speaker 3 (24:25):
Just like, Oh my god, my number one song was
released July seventh, so I've only had since July seventh
to listen to it, and I listened to it.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
Did you tell you how many times you listened to
that one song?
Speaker 4 (24:40):
No? Yeah, no, I have more things to go through.
Speaker 3 (24:43):
What I really want to know it should be the
fourth slide, the fourth slide. Yeah, I'll tell you how
many Okay, you.
Speaker 4 (24:50):
Had room in your heart for more than for more
than one favorite, it says, Oh, it doesn't tell me
that I listened to one song.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
Sorry, Then that's the slide before that.
Speaker 4 (25:00):
You played twenty four hundred and seventy nine songs in
twenty twenty three, and there was really only one that
connected Hans Zimmern' kid, this is your.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
Most place.
Speaker 4 (25:14):
The Dark Night Rise.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Wow, okay, how many times.
Speaker 4 (25:18):
You played it? One hundred and seventeen times this year?
So not that many.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
That's pretty that's pretty many.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
Mine was you played fourteen hundred and eighty six songs,
which is.
Speaker 4 (25:27):
Way less than you. Yeah. I have a lot of genres, and.
Speaker 3 (25:30):
There's one that really connected, and it was Taylor Swifts
I can see you from the vault from speaking now vault,
and I played it one hundred and twelve times, which
seems low to me since July seventh, but only that
was my favorite song to listen to on a treadmill
(25:51):
and also in the shower for like pretty much all
of August and September. I was listening to that song
when I showered. It was I couldn't even shower so fast.
I would barely get through the song. But I just
I would pretend that because it's a song about like
when you like you're you are, like having a crush
on someone and you can't be together and they and
(26:14):
like everyone knows, but like no one knows, no one
can know. It's like my favorite kind of like fantasy
is when two people like each other and they can't
tell anyone and it's super hot and they're and it's yeah,
so it's a romance novels.
Speaker 4 (26:31):
No, I feel like you'd get real horned up for
a romance novel.
Speaker 3 (26:35):
Yeah, maybe watching all those crime docs.
Speaker 4 (26:38):
Yeah, I know, I like people get hit with the
hammers while your boyfriend tells you your tits need to
be bigger romance novels.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
Romance novels.
Speaker 4 (26:48):
No.
Speaker 3 (26:49):
By the way, Kristen confirmed that I have the best
hits that he could imagine, and so that was nice
and I want to exactly exactly. Big does not equal
good all the time, but he But yeah, I think
romance novels for me are too saccharine and too like
(27:09):
they're they they don't cause I've never been horny from
I've read books where there's been like love interests, like
will they won't they and it doesn't do for me
what certain scenes and movies.
Speaker 4 (27:20):
I'm a pretty visual You watch Bridgerton.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Yeah that was kind of hot, but it wasn't super hot.
Speaker 3 (27:26):
Like I made Chris watch this movie the other day,
My favorite movie ever, The Worst Person in the World.
It's Norwegian film and there is a scene this girl
like cheats on her boyfriend. It's not the best movie
to watch with her boyfriend. Be like I love this
movie and the girls like just cheating on him wildly but.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
Wildly.
Speaker 4 (27:46):
Yeah, Like she just makes a decision.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
And then goes for it.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
But it it is so hot to me when two
people really want to but they can't and they won't.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
They they'll do everything except like, oh, I love it
so much.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
Like if I were to role play with Chris, it
would be like us, we're in relationships with other people
and we're like cheating with each other. Like that's which
is unfortunate because it's like it the thing that turns
me on is like doing a like betraying someone I love.
It's like inherently in the fantasy. But I just like
(28:23):
it and I can see you, Yeah, I gotta have.
Speaker 4 (28:27):
It's all about the visual or about what's happening. It's
got to be the mental aspect that leads up to it.
Speaker 3 (28:34):
Well, it's got to be that we can't ever be
together because I'm scared of intimacy, so I don't really
want us to ever be together. So my my dream
is to never have a chance to actually be with you.
I don't know why I don't have more crushes on
people in prison. Yeah, because that's the ultimate. I can't
be with them.
Speaker 4 (28:51):
Really, A horned up book called Romeo and Juliet.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
I think that's what I think. That's what fucking did
it to me is that movie in eighth grade.
Speaker 4 (29:01):
It's got everything on request. It's got suicide teens, it's.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
Got a fish tank, it's got kissing in a pool,
it's got suicide.
Speaker 4 (29:13):
Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 3 (29:14):
I loved everything about that movie. It's that That what
I think that really did affect my brain today to
talk about that. Yeah, I have never heard of it.
But there's just a movie that I really loved. Boz
Lerman wrote this.
Speaker 4 (29:31):
Movie, beist movie deep Water that came. Yes, I did.
Speaker 3 (29:37):
That was no because she, like he knew she was
cheating on him, and so it's not fun. Like he
knew he was being cooked and that's no fun, Like
I need them to be like getting.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
Away with it. Yeah, well I never cheated on anyone, by.
Speaker 3 (29:52):
The way, so this isn't I've been a part of
being I've I've been with men who are cheating on
their girlfriend, and that, sorry, has turned me on in
the past.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
I hate to say it, but I've never I don't.
I don't know what. I don't like the idea of
I guess I yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:06):
I just like when two people like they wish they
could be together and like if circumstances were different, we would,
but we can't. Like that is so hot to me,
Like if this dumb woman didn't exist, like it would
be us because that is so many times, Like think
of how many shows you root for a person who's
(30:27):
cheating on his girlfriend to be with the girl, but
then in real life we go, how dare she? That's
the way, he's such a fucking scum. But in Friends.
I've made this point before, but it's so funny how
we pick and choose, like a man who cheats is
a fucking Doug and then we go like.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
God, Ross, leave Julie, go for Rachel.
Speaker 5 (30:49):
Every single plot to every every you know, oh, Ross leave, Uh, Emma,
go for go for Rachel, go for Jim Pam Gopher, Jim,
Meg Ryan leave, Greg Kinnear, Meg Ryan Leave, Bill Pullman, Gopher,
Tom hangs Like every single time we're rooting for people.
Speaker 4 (31:10):
To cheat, trying to break up with people. That's really
really Maybe that is what we really liked. It's great
to see her breaking up with someone.
Speaker 3 (31:18):
Yeah, okay, what I had roomined my heart for one
more favorite you romantic you.
Speaker 2 (31:23):
Oh God. I hate when they, like an ed bot
talks to you like it's your front.
Speaker 4 (31:27):
Yeah, no, no, thank you.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
Spotify, just tell me what I need to know.
Speaker 3 (31:31):
My top songs were I Can See You by Taylor
Swift number two, which I predicted on my Instagram story.
I thought this was gonna win my Spotify Route because
I was so obsessed with it. Not Strong Enough by
Boy Genius, one of the best songs ever. Number three,
You're on Your Own Kid, which came out last year.
I don't know that if it made Spotify Route last
(31:53):
year because it came out in late October last year,
so probably didn't make it. Lavender Hayes Taylor Swift, and
then number five the National new order t shirt, which
is one of my favorite songs of all time too,
and I really got into that probably two months ago.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
I was like listening to it on repeat.
Speaker 4 (32:09):
For songs and three others three Swift, two others. Well,
what I'm really interested in this is probably your point
of pride, is what percentage of Swifties you're in? Does it?
Did it do that this year?
Speaker 3 (32:22):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (32:22):
Yeah it did? Okay, Well that's let's that's the headliner
of this little segment is what percentage.
Speaker 3 (32:30):
I'm happy to tell you that I am in the
one percent? Oh my, seriously, Yes, I made it to
the one percent. My peak listening month for Taylor was October.
I uh, yes I did. I'm very excited to tell
everyone I did make it in the top one percent.
And then Taylor Swift also like made a special message
(32:51):
for all the people who listened the most.
Speaker 4 (32:53):
Really, so I got that.
Speaker 3 (32:55):
Yeah, she's like backstage and her lover outfit from tour
and shed a special note. But yeah, I got one percent,
which I'm very happy about it, thank you. Although I
do there are people that are gonna get I mean,
I've been in the Taylor Swift subreddit and it's like
girls are in the point one percent point oh two percent.
I mean, it will give you like all the way
(33:16):
up to that, so it's not it's pretty good because
Taylor Swift is the most popular artist on the planet
next to Bad Bunny, which I don't couldn't name one song,
but honestly, bad Bunny. I mean, I know it's not
in our language, so that's probably, but I couldn't even
recognize the sound of Bad Bunny, and that's on me.
I should have watched his l That is a great question,
(33:38):
and I don't know. I don't know the answer to it,
but yeah, it feels good to be in the one percent.
It's an exciting day. I really thought I wasn't gonna
win because she's gotten so popular over the past year.
I thought, there's no way I'm gonna make in the
one percent. I don't listen all the time. There are
Swifties that leave their phones on constantly because of this moment.
They want Spotify wrapped point one percent, and so they're
(34:01):
gonna get it. I wasn't trying and I gott in
the one percent, so I'm pretty proud of that.
Speaker 4 (34:05):
I wonder if I'm in the one percent of Hans
Zimmer listeners.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Probably the only.
Speaker 4 (34:13):
Imagine Zimmer listeners. You are the only one that listened
to Hans Zimmer.
Speaker 3 (34:22):
I speaking of like listening to something when you're working,
I like, when I'm writing, I feel like the best
music is something you are.
Speaker 2 (34:31):
You don't know the words too fully.
Speaker 4 (34:33):
Or there can't be any words.
Speaker 3 (34:35):
Yeah, instrumental. I would imagine that's true. I like, I,
for some reason have liked stuff that I don't really
know the full words too.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
But I'm like wanting to learn the words too, but
I'm not focused on.
Speaker 4 (34:47):
It too much.
Speaker 3 (34:48):
And so the other day I got obsessed with the
song that I've only heard on tiktoks really okay up until,
like I guess it was two weeks ago. I would
where was I. I was in Portland, which I called
Seattle from stage. By the way, it was so embarrassing.
I was in Portland and on stage I called them Seattle.
(35:10):
But then I go, what's the fucking difference? And they
laughed because I felt raining outside it's cold, there's it
feels amphibious outside. You guys are all wearing marmot jackets.
Come on, you know, like but and I go, I said,
Seattle because I'm taping a special there.
Speaker 4 (35:29):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 3 (35:30):
I felt so bad because I would be so pissed
if someone came to Saint Louis and was like, Kansas City,
what's the And I made a joke of what's the difference,
Like obviously I was trying to be funny, but I
felt I couldn't get it out of my head. Like
the rest of my set, I was just like so embarrassed,
so sad, wanting to make it up to them. I
felt like I all I owed them refunds for their tickets,
like it was like this weird shame spiral. I went
(35:51):
in too, but I was in Portland and I was
writing all day, working on my special before my show
out a Starbucks, and in my headphones, I was playing
this new this song I'd only heard on TikTok's or
like on reels or reposts, because I don't go on TikTok.
And I always have to just say that because people
are going to be like, she's lying, she is on TikTok,
(36:11):
But I really and I'm not. I am kind of
proud of myself for it, because it's like trying. It's
like trying not to vape when you have a vape
on your phone, and I think it's I think TikTok
is true. It's the it's the number one app that
everyone spends the.
Speaker 2 (36:25):
Most time on.
Speaker 4 (36:25):
I think now it's TikTok.
Speaker 3 (36:28):
It's yeah, TikTok is I think the one that's the
biggest time suck. I saw some graph recently, and I
think it's the number one that everyone's losing their killing teenagers, right.
Speaker 4 (36:38):
I just I think it does have the most views.
I mean, but it definitely has the it's the most views,
but it's not the most substantial viewership, Like it doesn't
really mean as much what people do on TikTok as
It doesn't.
Speaker 2 (36:51):
That's what I'm saying. It's it's what they're doing. It's
they're not even getting anything out of it.
Speaker 3 (36:56):
I mean maybe some people are, but brain damage. But
there's this one song. Wait, do you want TikTok to
whatt do you ever go on? No? No, really you
I want to abstain from it. I wish I didn't
go on any social media like Instagram.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
Yeah, but Instagram, you you do do?
Speaker 3 (37:15):
I do do?
Speaker 2 (37:16):
And then how often do you do that?
Speaker 3 (37:19):
Probably like through the day especially when I'm bored or
like waiting for audio to render, I just scroll through.
Speaker 4 (37:25):
Okay, and you don't.
Speaker 2 (37:26):
You don't do it YouTube ever.
Speaker 3 (37:28):
Uh not unless I'm looking for like a podcast or
like a particular thing. I used to not be a
YouTuber either, Like I'm like, why do people just go
on YouTube and just like let videos roll into each other?
Speaker 4 (37:40):
Or like you just what do you do?
Speaker 3 (37:42):
Like I only go to YouTube to like look up
a certain video. But now that I'm subscribed to certain
things and it knows what I like, Like I can
go on the home thing and it's it's serving me
up stuff.
Speaker 4 (37:54):
I like you has the best algorithm. It knows what
you want to watch before you even realize you want to.
Speaker 2 (37:58):
Watch it, truly.
Speaker 4 (38:00):
And what's great about YouTube is that it's longer form content.
So like if you're on Instagram or TikTok, you have
to constantly be interacting with your phone, whereas like if
you're cooking or something and you just want some quote
unquote content to be playing, you can just hit play
on a twenty minute YouTube video and it's just someone
talking or whatever. Sometimes it's the Nikki Glazer podcast on YouTube,
(38:20):
but other times it's just like whatever, it's just gonna
be anything, and it's just background noise most of the
time that you don't have to keep interacting with, which
is why TikTok is flawed, because you have to like
constantly touch TikTok in order for it to keep serving content.
Or also, I'll just show you the same thirty seconds
on repeat, over and over again.
Speaker 3 (38:40):
Can I ask a question and I want someone's got
to help. If you guys don't do TikTok, so I
don't think you'll know the answer to this.
Speaker 4 (38:46):
I do TikTok, you do, okay?
Speaker 3 (38:49):
Why on TikTok's when a girl is like telling a
story or whatever, do they constantly like have to touch it,
Like after they go like, okay, I'm telling a story
and they're like and then he there, and then they
touch again, and then it like goes to the next
Like why why can't they just tell the whole story
and then edit it later?
Speaker 2 (39:07):
Why do they keep touching it?
Speaker 4 (39:10):
I mean it might be the in app editing software
that they're using that they're touching it to stop and start?
Speaker 2 (39:16):
Does anyone know what I'm talking about?
Speaker 3 (39:18):
Like, I hope someone listening knows what she'll be like,
So I went to the store today and you know,
I usually take Gracie to the market around eleven am.
Speaker 2 (39:26):
Click, So then we go it.
Speaker 3 (39:28):
It's like, just tell the story and stop and then
why do we have to watch your arm go in
for the click every time around that? That's why I annoyed.
If it's an editing, then cut around your arm clicking
on it? Does it jump cut? Is it like an
intentional jump cut? It's it's a it's a jump cut
to the next thing. But they don't take out their
arm touching the thing like that's a part of it.
(39:49):
So we got to watch your arm go in to
press on the phone each time. It's so annoying. I
don't get it.
Speaker 2 (39:55):
But anyway, like.
Speaker 4 (39:56):
Such boomers, right, and we're like, we don't know who
bad Bunny is and why is it on TikTok to it?
Speaker 3 (40:04):
Well, I will say Bad Bunny is probably a prolific
and amazing musician, and I just he's like the Pele
of music and I just have never heard, you know,
like I don't know, like he's he's messy, like he's
bigger than anyone I could ever imagine.
Speaker 2 (40:18):
But I don't I'm somehow out of it. I am
a loser for that.
Speaker 3 (40:21):
But this TikTok thing I'm not an old person is
just a waste of everyone's time. To see your arms
stretch forward to touch the thing, Well, I don't get it.
Speaker 4 (40:28):
That's why they get passed by Lionel Messi, by the way,
number one amount of followers on Instagram. He has the
most out of anybody.
Speaker 3 (40:36):
It doesn't surprise me anymore. It used to because I
was just like, who is this and why do so like?
But now I get it.
Speaker 2 (40:46):
Soccer is every Did you know who Lione almost?
Speaker 1 (40:49):
He was?
Speaker 2 (40:49):
No, you look confused.
Speaker 3 (40:51):
I thought he was like a tennis player. But soccer
makes sense.
Speaker 4 (40:59):
Yeah, I return to the Spotify rapped real quick.
Speaker 3 (41:01):
Yeah you so so.
Speaker 4 (41:03):
My top artists are the guy who made the Game
of Throne soundtrack, and then Hans Zimmer, and then Billy
Joel and then Louis Prima and then Lindsay Sterling is
number five. I don't know who that is. I do
who is that? She's a violinist on the Hans Zimmer
song or something that you have someone you don't even know,
(41:24):
And then it says, hold up, there's someone on the
other line, and it's like, oh, who is it gonna be?
And then it's a video from Lindsay Sterling.
Speaker 2 (41:35):
And she's thanking you for listening to her. I don't
even know who this youthing.
Speaker 3 (41:41):
It looks like you're done Jack.
Speaker 4 (41:44):
It does look a lot like that's so funny that Sterling.
But I don't even know that is if she likes you.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
Rap is not uh to like four people, you're one
of them.
Speaker 4 (41:58):
I mean, I'm I'm surprised they were able to get
Lindsay Sterling to do a video.
Speaker 3 (42:01):
Can I just say about the YouTube algorithm? I get
sent like I will see myself pop up on there
all the time. I don't watch anything of myself but
there the other day. It's so embarrassing because my own
podcast has like four thousand views at most. But then
I will there will be a clip that's like Theovaughn
talks to these women. It's like the other day it
(42:23):
was a clip that just said Theovonn talking to women
and my face was on like the cover of it,
and it had like six hundred thousand views.
Speaker 2 (42:33):
It was posted an hour ago. It was like, what
the fuck?
Speaker 3 (42:36):
Like, yeah, it is just so out of control how
much I I don't understand what's going on over there.
Speaker 4 (42:45):
Yeah, I mean that the numbers on YouTube are shocking.
It doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 2 (42:51):
And then it hurts my feelings.
Speaker 4 (42:52):
Yeah, it doesn't make sense that if that low, because
we know for a fact that there's more than three
thousand people. There's substantially more more than three thousand people
that listen to this podcast. And yes, on YouTube, the
numbers are so incredibly backwards it doesn't make any sense.
Like there are there are shows.
Speaker 3 (43:11):
I don't want to give it a view, but I
don't want to see a comment, so I can't give
it a view because.
Speaker 4 (43:16):
The YouTube comments are the only ones I actually read.
The YouTube relents are actually pretty cordial and friendly.
Speaker 3 (43:22):
But oh that's good, let's keep it that way please.
Maybe that's why we don't want our numbers going up.
That's what it's circut means.
Speaker 4 (43:27):
But it is shocking that well, so for THEO Vaughn like,
it's it's the subscriber base like he already has. You know,
however many millions of YouTube subscribers, and we don't We
just don't have that subscriber base yet. And uh, I
don't know why I don't know why Nikki Glazer besties
don't use YouTube as much as they will listen to
(43:48):
a podcast, But it's just a fact.
Speaker 2 (43:51):
Yeah, throw a sub on YouTube.
Speaker 3 (43:54):
It would It would mean a lot, even if you
don't use your YouTube account a lot, Like just go
give us a sub like not that, yeah, because it
awesome and then like thumbs up our videos when they
when you do go on there and see it, like
just throw us the thumbs up.
Speaker 4 (44:07):
You not at all to subscribe to someone on YouTube,
especially if you don't use it, because it's not like Instagram.
Speaker 2 (44:11):
It could hurt them.
Speaker 3 (44:13):
What if their phone's cracked and their thumb hits the
crack and it slices it as they're subscribing.
Speaker 1 (44:20):
Yeah, okay, so you don't have to do if your
phone's cracked, you don't have to do this, okay, yeah yeah,
if you have a good phone, Yeah yeah, it hurts
you not at all because when you subscribe to something
on YouTube, it's not like Instagram, where it shows how
many people you're following and it's like, oh, it's so
embarrassing I have I don't have as many followers as
I am following. Right, you could subscribe to a million
(44:40):
YouTube channels and no one will know.
Speaker 3 (44:43):
Oh that's a good point, and not that anyone would
run to hide that they're subscribing to us.
Speaker 2 (44:47):
What a shameful thing.
Speaker 3 (44:49):
Yeah, that'd be amazing if you go do that right now,
and then we'll see you back here after the break.
Speaker 2 (44:55):
Okay, we're back.
Speaker 3 (44:58):
Going to tomorrow, Yeah, going to Canada tomorrow. I always
get nervous to go to Canada because you have to
go through custom customs and.
Speaker 2 (45:08):
They get mad at me. But I feel okay about
it this time.
Speaker 3 (45:11):
I don't know, and I gotta remember my passport, even
though I've never forgotten it.
Speaker 2 (45:14):
But it's just like it's that's weighing on me and
just I don't know.
Speaker 3 (45:18):
I just I got a lot of anxieties about going
up there and what they're gonna, how they're gonna just
going through.
Speaker 2 (45:24):
I just don't like customs.
Speaker 3 (45:25):
I really think that I would if it were up
to me, I'd never leave America again because I'm so
scared of customs and it gives me so much. It's
like Taylor with the sucker thing at the at the dentist.
It doesn't make sense, but customs take too much time.
The line is always too long, it's too windy. Then
you have to go in, you have to get your bags.
Then you have to show like a little piece of
(45:46):
paper to the guy as you leave with your bags.
And that guy you always feel like is going to
detain you. Too many chances for detainment, yes, and they're
always mean and I don't like it, but I am
excited to go to Toronto.
Speaker 2 (45:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (46:00):
Well, when I was back from Australia, they but when
I was leaving Australia, they interviewed me and they're like,
do you have any fruit? I can't do an Australian accent,
but they ask you all these questions like do you
have any fruit? Did you bring a boomerang? I thought
all I have is a boomerang. I bought a boomerang
from an Indigenous man. And they're like, well, that's going
to be fine. But I didn't.
Speaker 2 (46:19):
I thought you were gonna be that's gonna be fined.
Speaker 4 (46:21):
Yeah, but I did get detained at the border when
I went to Montreal. I was because I have a
criminal record for when I was in college and I
got caught underage drinking and so yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:34):
They I was did they like bust up a party
and like write you all tickets.
Speaker 4 (46:38):
Yeah, well it's it's embarrassing because I had my brothers
expired learners permit that uh and I gave it to
a cop and he said, well, now you're going to
jail because he tried this bullshit and so he took me.
I actually have a bit about it that I tell,
but he took me to jail. I was dressed like
(46:59):
the f from Happy Days because I was at a
Halloween party. Goddamn. Yeah. But years later, I'm going to
Canada and they detained me at the border almost said
border like a can you wait?
Speaker 2 (47:11):
You took a picture like a mug shot as the fawns.
Speaker 4 (47:15):
No, no mugshot. I went into the drunk tanks so
they didn't take a month. Oh I got it, okay,
damn drug tank overnight night.
Speaker 3 (47:23):
Fuck.
Speaker 4 (47:26):
But I was detained at the border and the Canadians
were like they kept me there for like an hour
and the border crossing and they looked up my criminal
record and they said what were you arrested for? And
I was like underage drinking and then and then they
were like how old were you? And I was like
I was twenty when they arrested me and they drink
at eighteen and they're like, oh it's eighteen here, so
(47:47):
get Yeah. Then they let me in.
Speaker 2 (47:49):
I have a little bot blue.
Speaker 4 (47:51):
Yeah, but I was at them. I was sitting there
for an hour. Yeah, they were like investigating me.
Speaker 3 (47:56):
I was like, really, yeah, I got I got things
like sponged from my record and every time I go through,
I go was it a sponge?
Speaker 4 (48:03):
Well, so mine was supposed to be expunged. I went
to my class.
Speaker 2 (48:06):
They don't exponge everything.
Speaker 4 (48:08):
Really exponge if if you're a different government than you
can find out if like all the exponged it. But
it's not like other foreign governments aren't going to be
able to do their research. They do have anything to
do with us, right, wanted to find out if I
got a ticket, they're going to find out.
Speaker 2 (48:24):
I don't think you could go to Canada if you
have a duy, like if you've had a DUI in America,
that's the reason you would have access to that. I'm
just kidding.
Speaker 3 (48:32):
I love Canada. I don't know the database. Man, it's
all in the cloud because it's on your Instagram. Maybe
don't post on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (48:43):
Oh yeah, but no, I think that that's all they
have access.
Speaker 4 (48:46):
To that stuff.
Speaker 3 (48:47):
So it's like a global database.
Speaker 4 (48:49):
I guess, sharing information and they have their ways.
Speaker 3 (48:52):
Yeah, it's but I'm excited to go there because the
girl that is opening for me, Norhadidi, she is like,
she's a swift and so we're gonna swift the fuck
out go pretty crazy because we get we get into.
Speaker 2 (49:05):
Some pretty intense stuff.
Speaker 3 (49:07):
And I'm very excited because Taylor finally put on Spotify
this new song that was only on this like special
target edition of her album. It's called You're Losing Me,
and she wrote it about her boyfriend, who, like they
clearly it's a Midnights, it's an extra Midnight song, and
Midnights is a breakup album, even though there's lots of
(49:29):
songs about Joe being like, oh I love him so much,
but like we all know now as a breakup album
because now they're broken up, and like obviously when she
was writing that album, it was the beginning of the end,
because no one breaks up immediately when they're ready to
break up. It's like takes a while, especially when you're
a seven year relationship. So the song You're Losing Me
is so good and it's all about like he's not.
(49:50):
She's like, how do you how do you not even
under How did you not see the signs coming? How
is this surprising to you? You like kind of you were.
Speaker 2 (50:01):
Like, wait, let me look at the lyrics because they're
so good.
Speaker 3 (50:04):
But I'm so glad it's finally released because I was
only able to listen to it on like Weird Tiktoks.
Speaker 4 (50:09):
Before yea a target specific album, like like when Starbucks
has an album kind no.
Speaker 3 (50:16):
Well there's like special releases. She only does through target
that have like certain vault tracks. So the lyrics are
you say I don't understand, and I say I know
you don't, which is like, that's like such a cra
I love that line because it's like how many breakups
when someone's like I don't understand and the person's just
like can you imagine the person saying back to you,
I know you don't. Like there's no like sorry, there's
(50:38):
no me being like, well it's because of this. It's
just like saying like I know you don't. Like we're done,
he said, she said. We thought a cure would come
through in time. Now I fear it won't. Remember looking
at this room, we loved it because of the light.
Now I just sit in the dark and wonder if
it's time do I throw out everything we built or
keep it. I'm getting tired, even for a phoenix, always
(50:59):
rising from the ashes, mending all her gashes. You might
just have dealt the final blow. And then she says, stop,
you're losing me. Because she's kind of like you could
tell she's in an argument. She's like, stop, you're losing me. Like,
and I also like, you're losing me because it's something
you say to someone over the phone where you're like,
you're losing me. I can't hear you, but it's like
she's like, and then she says, I can't find a pulse.
(51:20):
My heart won't start anymore for you because you're losing me.
Every morning I glared at you with storms in my eyes,
and this is the line I like, how can you
say that you love someone you can't tell is dying.
She's like, I've been this relationship I've been dying in
and you don't even notice. How can you say you
love someone that you can't tell is dying. I sent
you signals and bit my nails down to the quick.
(51:42):
I don't know what the quick means. But I'm guessing,
like the blood, like I bit my nails, like I
sent you signals. I'm like constantly being nervous. I seem
very upset. My face was gray, but you wouldn't admit
that we were sick. And the air is thick with
loss and indecision. I know, my pain is such an imposition.
Now you're running down. Now you're running down the hallway,
and you know what they all say. You don't know
(52:03):
what you got until it's gone. And then yeah, I
was like so Shakespearean speaking of yeah, the bridge is
how long could we be? How long could we be
a sad song till we're too far gone to bring
back to life. I gave you all my best mees,
my endless empathy, and all I did was bleed. Is
I tried to be the bravest soldier fighting in only
(52:25):
your army front lines.
Speaker 2 (52:26):
Don't you ignore me? I'm the best thing at this party.
Speaker 3 (52:29):
So he's obviously at there at a party, and she's like,
I'm right here, you're talking to everyone else.
Speaker 2 (52:35):
I'm the best thing at this party.
Speaker 3 (52:37):
You're losing me, And then this is the best And
I wouldn't marry me either a pathological people pleaser who
only wanted you to see her. And I'm fade and thinking,
do something, babe, say something.
Speaker 2 (52:50):
And this is the part where she's like he had
a chance.
Speaker 3 (52:52):
She's like, do something, babe, say something, lose something, babe,
risks something like lose like to take a fucking risk,
don't look cool, try to try to fight for me.
Choose something, babe. I've got nothing to believe unless you're
choosing me. So he never chose her, and so she's like,
(53:13):
peace out, what up Trav? And now she's just Travis
Kelce and the song rules, So yeah, check out You're
losing me. It's a new song on on for Taylor
Swift's it's on her Spotify. It's on Spotify now, too
late to get it on wrapped though. And then the
other song I'm obsessed with real quick is that I
was gonna say, is the only one I've been hearing
(53:33):
on TikTok is.
Speaker 2 (53:38):
You probably heard it. I would want myself baby, Please
believe me. I'll pull you through hell. Do you know
what I'm talking about? No, it's in so many tiktoks
you would.
Speaker 3 (53:50):
You wouldn't know if I was playing it but it's
called Greedy by Tate McCrae and she was on SNL
last week. And it's so weird because I listened to
the song every single like, I listened to it. Problem,
it's gonna be my Spotify rap next year. I listened
to it like a hundred times one day and it's
to only two minutes long, so it's really short.
Speaker 2 (54:08):
And then all of a sudden that night when I
was in Portland, she was on SNL that night. I
was like, this is so weird. It's all lining up.
She's an amazing dancer, she's so hot.
Speaker 4 (54:18):
One of the main thing, one of the main purposes
of TikTok is to get musicians exposure if a TikTok
sound goes viral and it's in all sorts of people's tiktoks,
and I know, but I was.
Speaker 3 (54:29):
Hearing it on TikTok for months before I go, I gotta,
I gotta put this in, and like, see what the
fuck this song is?
Speaker 4 (54:36):
Yeah, it was.
Speaker 3 (54:37):
It was programmed.
Speaker 2 (54:38):
It was weird that it all lined.
Speaker 4 (54:40):
Up perfect, And then I guess that feel cool. I
feel part of the zeit guys, you're part of the guys.
But it's it's it's all tapped in.
Speaker 2 (54:48):
I don't know who bad Bunny is.
Speaker 4 (54:49):
They they probably made that song specifically had a hook
in it that would be good for TikTok.
Speaker 3 (54:55):
You gotta watch Tate McCrae's video for Greedy. It's so
fucking hot she It has been so long. I played
Chris video and we were like, we both agreed, it's
been so long since we had like a hot pop star,
like a Britney spears a like I'm gonna see Jlo
like Tate McCrae, mc mcc no, mcr ae McCrae. Yeah,
(55:21):
and it's called Greedy. She's Canadian. It's all at a
it's at a hockey rink. And the way she moves
her body, she's an amazing dancer. She's I think she
started out as a dancer. She's been dancing her whole life.
She's only I think twenty years old, maybe nineteen, but
she is so confident, she is so cool.
Speaker 2 (55:36):
I love her dance moves. She is so sexy.
Speaker 3 (55:39):
It would have been inappropriate for me to say that
she's so sexy three years ago, which is weird, but
now you can say it. And just the way her
like body bends and like the way she dances in
her face, like she just is cool.
Speaker 2 (55:52):
Like she's not.
Speaker 3 (55:53):
It doesn't look like she's trying to art, even though
there's so many scenes where her body is contorted in
all these ways that you're like, whoa, Chris even goes
she's shaking in that contortion right there. She's obviously trying hard.
I'm like, no, she's so cool.
Speaker 2 (56:04):
She's assass.
Speaker 3 (56:05):
I mean, it looks like she's a former ballet dancer.
She's legit dog, she's like and this song Greedy is
so good, and I guess she has some other ones
that are even bigger, but it's my new favorite song.
Speaker 2 (56:16):
Okay, we gotta go.
Speaker 3 (56:17):
Thank you for listening to the show. I'll see you
this week in Toronto, in Pittsburgh, Detroit. I'll see you
next week in Brea, California. I'll be there with Brian
at the Brea Improv and then in Spokane, Washington on
the fourteenth, and then for my special taping December sixteenth
in Seattle.
Speaker 2 (56:33):
And then if you're in the Denver area, I'm.
Speaker 3 (56:35):
Going to be New Year's Eve Eve and New Year's
Eve at the Paramount in Denver, get your tickets now.
Nicki glazer dot com also just release tickets for tomorrow
they go on sale. They're on pre sale now use
code good but for Saint Louis, Kansas City, and Atlanta
for twenty twenty four dates.
Speaker 2 (56:53):
You can check those at Nicky glays dot com. Use
code good right now.
Speaker 3 (56:56):
Tomorrow they go on sale for Friday one, but pre
sale yeah tomorrow Friday, but today they are on a
pre sale use code good for for Atlanta, Saint Louis,
and Kents City, which I'm so excited about.
Speaker 4 (57:10):
All Right, the sun has stopped shining in through the window,
so maybe.
Speaker 2 (57:13):
We could Yeah, look at our look at our YouTube
video of this.
Speaker 3 (57:18):
See it looks like an angel perfect. It was like
hellish before you were like you're going to be burned.
Later on you're gonna look like you have ezema with
all the different spots. It was traveling all over face.
Not that that's a bad thing to look like. Try
resulty for ask your doctor about exalty or whatever thing is?
Is it just me or there's tons of exzema commercials.
Speaker 4 (57:38):
There's a lot eradicate it with medicaid.
Speaker 3 (57:42):
I've never once seen exeba and God ew. That person
is disgusting. If you have exzema, it's okay, but you know,
try the meds. But like, if you do have it,
I also don't care. And I love you all right,
I love everyone.
Speaker 2 (57:55):
Thank you so much. Don't be and get to get
sim and down
Host
Nikki Glaser
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