#414 A Circle of Friends w/ Kelsey Cook!

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Nick A Gliser Podcastiser Pop.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
Here's Nikki.

Speaker 1 (00:10):
Hello, Here I am, It's a Nick Laser podcast. Welcome
to the show. Oh, my voice coming out of the
gate not great. I have been singing all day. I
have to say, I've was in the recording studio, so
my voice is a little shot. But I really tried
to get I like you could hear a crack on that.
Not to brag or anything, but I, you know, wrote
and recorded a song this week and it is the
first time I ever did it. And it's gonna be

(00:31):
fucking good. And you're not supposed to, like say something's
gonna be good before they're supposed to undersell it. But
I really think this is gonna be good, and I
think you guys are gonna like it. So I'm just
putting that out there. Yeah, I wrote a pop song.
Brian Frangie's here. Noah is here, and we have a
special guest, a friend who I have known for so
many years, and it has been actually over a year,

(00:52):
probably a couple of years since we've like really connected.
So I'm so excited to have her here. She's so funny,
she is so cool, and she has a new special
tape or she's taping a new special April sixth in Madison, Wisconsin,
and we're gonna find out where in just a second,
because I did not get that detail.

Speaker 2 (01:08):
It's Hia, So are you?

Speaker 3 (01:12):
Thank you for having me?

Speaker 2 (01:14):
Oh my god, thanks for being here.

Speaker 1 (01:16):
This is the beauty of having a podcast is that
you get a text from your producer being like, would
you like to have on comedian Kelsey Cook and like
all this information about you.

Speaker 2 (01:23):
I'm like, yeah, she's my friend, of course I wanted
to Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:27):
I was like, oh my god, of course I haven't
talked to her in so long, and this will be
a great way for us to catch up because I've
been watching you from afar. But we just I think
our last conversation was like during COVID, we.

Speaker 2 (01:39):
Talked for like an hour on the phone. Is am
I remembering that correctly?

Speaker 3 (01:41):
Yes, we talked during COVID during all of the insanity,
and then shortly after that my whole life like completely changed.
I moved from LA to Spokane, Washington, and I was
living there for two years and we don't have.

Speaker 2 (01:59):
I didn't know you were there. Yeah, yeah, and that's
where you're from.

Speaker 3 (02:02):
Right where I'm from. I think you were living in
Saint Louis already at that point.

Speaker 1 (02:08):
Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, I was. I was already in
deep in my hometown. Yeah, still still.

Speaker 4 (02:13):
There, Yes, yes, we just went to Spokane.

Speaker 2 (02:16):
Yeah, we we were in Spokane December.

Speaker 4 (02:19):
A casino that was hidden in a military base or something, right,
that sounds something.

Speaker 3 (02:24):
That all checks out for Spokane.

Speaker 2 (02:27):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:27):
Yeah. You were such a pioneer in the leaving LA
or New York during that time and having a better
life for it. I think just being.

Speaker 1 (02:39):
Yeah, did you did you discover that when you moved
back was it?

Speaker 2 (02:43):
Was it better for you?

Speaker 3 (02:44):
Yeah? It was better in ways and harder in certain ways.
We don't have to get super into it because it's dark.
But a few weeks after I moved back home, my
mom went into the hospital and ended up staying in
there for five months and was diagnosed with MENHA while
she was in there, and.

Speaker 2 (03:01):
So, oh jeez, yeah, I'm so sorry.

Speaker 3 (03:04):
Thank you. So the two years that I was there
were like the lowest lows of going through all of that,
and then I also it was so random because you
know a lot of people had started to post more
and more content on their social media during the pandemic

(03:25):
and I got seen by an agent at CAAA while
I was living and Spokane and ended up being signed
by them, and then they booked out this whole massive tour.
So it was, yeah, like such lows personally, and then
things with my career started to get really busy, and
it was it was just like a weird couple of

(03:47):
years of a lot of things happening.

Speaker 1 (03:50):
But yeah, well, I'm glad you had some good in
there as well, because that's.

Speaker 4 (03:54):
The way it always goes. You can't have all your
pillars good at the same time. Oh yeah, to have
one up, you need to have one down.

Speaker 2 (04:02):
Brian has this pillars theory of life.

Speaker 1 (04:04):
I don't even think you brought it up on the
podcast yet, Like, but what are the pillars of life
that you need to I'll have to do.

Speaker 4 (04:10):
Or I'll have to review because I'm not gonna deliver
this quickly except forget so I'll review my pillars and
bring it back in a future episode. But Okay, the
point is I feel like there's a balance, and like
in order for ups to happen, there needs to be downs.
I feel like it never's all working out at the
same time.

Speaker 1 (04:26):
Yeah, I agree, yeah, some people, it seems to maybe
I just don't know what's really going on in their
personal life. But no, it was it hard to celebrate
those highs or were you Was it a huge relief?
Was there like a guilt associated with it?

Speaker 3 (04:40):
Was there?

Speaker 1 (04:41):
Okay, I can get out of here. What was the
feeling when the good news came?

Speaker 3 (04:45):
Yeah, that's that's such a great question. I feel like
this whole. So my mom's now had dementia for three years,
and it has been so interesting that when something good
in my life happens, I do have, of course that
moment of like, oh yay, this is so exciting, And
then there's also now this sadness of wishing I could

(05:08):
tell my mom and that she would know what it
means for whatever I'm sharing, because she's always been the
biggest fan, biggest supporter. So yeah, it's it's way.

Speaker 1 (05:22):
So how quickly did she get past the point of
being able to understand something like that and celebrate it
with you in a way that would mean something to you.

Speaker 3 (05:35):
She so in that time that she was in the hospital.
At one point they thought she had six weeks left
to live, like she had become catatonic, wasn't. Yeah, and
then she kind of miraculously pulled through that got out
of the hospital. But I mean has been like on
and off of hospice for three years. So damn dementia.

(05:58):
I didn't know anything about dementia until for getting diagnosed
with it. But it's so not linear. It's not like,
oh you can like see exactly going down. It's like
some days it takes a nose dive and you feel
like you're not going to get any portion of that
person back, and then they'll kind of, you know, come
back in ways. So I would say it's been probably

(06:20):
like a year that like in this past year has
been a lot less of her being able to really
know what I'm talking about.

Speaker 2 (06:30):
Right, right, So it comes and goes.

Speaker 1 (06:32):
There's like signs of it at first, and then she'll
remember the next like it's yeah, it's all it's bouncing
all over the place.

Speaker 3 (06:38):
Yeah, it's it's just yikes.

Speaker 2 (06:40):
Yeah, I'm sorry girl.

Speaker 4 (06:42):
It's like Mario Lopez's career. You think it's gonna go
ran and then all of a sudden, it's back.

Speaker 2 (06:50):
It's not going, it's not going anywhere.

Speaker 1 (06:52):
It goes up, it has ups and down, but it's
it's not it's not gonna go away. Yeah, he's not
going away. Unfortunately, dementia doesn't go away.

Speaker 3 (07:01):
No, that's so I would have never made a Mario
Lopez career correlation. Mom.

Speaker 2 (07:07):
That's what Brian's here.

Speaker 3 (07:08):
That's a specific still and you know.

Speaker 1 (07:10):
What, that's what Like obviously I was I was about
to ask you because I have a friend whose parent
is going through the same thing. He's a comedian, and
I'm like, the way he talks about there's like some
really funny shit that's happening with dementia, because it's someone
who's like blackout drunk all the time and like kind
of like operating like there's there's got to be there's
humor within it because it's it's so tragic. How what

(07:32):
what really else can you get from it except all
the sadness you gotta be There's gotta be moments of
like his dad like put a hair dryer in the
microwave and like won't stop trying to do that, Like
he has to cook.

Speaker 2 (07:43):
This hair dryer.

Speaker 1 (07:43):
It's like why does he need to do this? Like
there's this urgency about it, and they can't leave him
alone because that will one hundred percent happen right and there.

Speaker 2 (07:52):
And I remember being.

Speaker 1 (07:53):
Like, you got to talk about this on stage. He's like,
people don't laugh when I talk about it, and I go, oh,
it's because you it's too sad to you.

Speaker 4 (08:01):
Still, it's also so horrifying, you know that.

Speaker 2 (08:04):
Ever one.

Speaker 1 (08:06):
Is, it's looming for all of us and all of
our loved ones. It's like the thing you don't like
you were thinking saying you didn't know much about dementia before,
Like lots of our parents are going to get it,
and we all are like blinders till it happens. Because
what am I supposed to do like start reading about
it now and getting depressed before it happens, Like you

(08:27):
gotta get blindsided, so you protect your fucking sanity until
it happens.

Speaker 3 (08:31):
Oh yeah, I mean you'll stop sleeping if it's something
you're afraid of all the time, because it is truly
such a nightmare. But I as you're talking about your
friend who is going through it and has these things
that it still seemed too dark to talk about on stage,
So I fell that way for a while, Like I
I barely talked about what was going on with my

(08:51):
mom publicly for the first couple of years of it,
just because I I didn't know how much I wanted
to share. And and then I start to talk about
certain parts of it on stage, and now it's like
the last maybe like third of my hour that I'm
about to tape.

Speaker 1 (09:09):
Oh, that's so exciting. Yeah, and I but it's yeah,
it's at that place.

Speaker 3 (09:14):
And now I do have people who come up after
shows who do have family members with dementia or have
lost a family member to dementia that are like, thank
you so much for talking about this. Yeah, because it
I feel like I'm still honoring her to talk about it,
because I'm saying, like, she has dementia, but she is
so smart and funny that even with dementia, she's still

(09:34):
so crafty and like sharing these things that she will
say and do. And yeah, I mean, I just think
there's a way that you can talk about it that's
feeling for you and is still respectful to them.

Speaker 1 (09:47):
So yes, I and that's such a balance, because yes,
it's there is a way to really throw them under
the bus if you want to, and and not handle
it with Careen. That's probably what makes you nervous to
even talk about it.

Speaker 2 (09:59):
And when I say it's exciting, that felt like the
wrong word.

Speaker 1 (10:01):
But what I'm talking about is like when you have
this breakthrough, when you're struggling with the topic, that you're like,
I don't think I'm ever gonna be able to talk
about this. I wish I could, but literally, I don't
think there's ever gonna be a chance. And now it's
a third of your fucking new hour that's like this.
That means that you have found a way to make
it really not only personal personal, but universal and that

(10:24):
like people are and you're it's how excited to be
talking about something that kind of feels taboo and being
able to make it such a huge junk of your set.

Speaker 2 (10:32):
I'm so excited to see this material.

Speaker 3 (10:34):
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (10:35):
Yeah, Oh my god.

Speaker 1 (10:36):
I oh sorry, go ahead, No, I mean I want
to I want to see some I even I like,
I savored a clip I saw of yours yesterday because
it was some crowd work you were doing with someone
who knew your who knows you're is a fan of
your boyfriend's Chad Daniels, who is an amazing comedian. And
I haven't really I haven't talked to you since you
guys got together and he I've known him for years,

(10:59):
so it was like these two people from my two
separate worlds coming together. Not to make it about me,
but it's just when you find out two of your
friends have found each other, you're like, oh my god,
it makes so much sense. It's so exciting. I'm so
excited about Chad. But that clip was so funny of
this woman at the club being like, I know your
boyfriend and being like, I'm a huge fan, and you're like,

(11:21):
easy lady.

Speaker 2 (11:22):
And I'll save what Kelsey does.

Speaker 1 (11:24):
But Kelsey is a really hilarious physical moment that she like,
it was a real It was just so quick and
so sharp, and you got to go watch that clip
Kelsey Cook Comedy on Instagram.

Speaker 2 (11:36):
How did you and chat?

Speaker 1 (11:37):
I guess we have to go to breaks soon, but
I just want to get into the chat a bit.
I love talking about relationships, and that is what a
bright spot that has seemed to be just from me
watching like stalking you guys on Instagram and projecting my
own assumptions about your relationship onto you. It seems perfect,
it seems ideal. You're both so funny. Tell me it's
as good as it looks how long have you guys

(11:59):
been together?

Speaker 3 (12:00):
Been together for about a year and a half now,
and we started a podcasts together recently, which.

Speaker 1 (12:07):
Yeah, that's like that's like bigger getting a dog, we
bought a house to.

Speaker 2 (12:13):
Gel Oh well okay, I.

Speaker 3 (12:15):
Feel like the podcast isn't even bigger. Like you could
privately sell a house, you can't privately end a podcast.
If this goes, that's such a good role, Like there
will have to be a public explanation.

Speaker 2 (12:27):
Oh yeah, you guys will have custody of the podcast,
take turn hosting it.

Speaker 1 (12:31):
Yeah, that's that's what's the podcast called?

Speaker 2 (12:35):
And when when did it already start?

Speaker 3 (12:37):
So it's called Pretend Problems And uh, there are ten
episodes out so far. So the videos are on YouTube,
the audios on all podcast platforms.

Speaker 2 (12:46):
But awesome.

Speaker 3 (12:47):
Yeah, so we're being pretty open about the problems that
we've gone through and then we take listener questions and
try to give it advice.

Speaker 1 (12:56):
As a couple or in your like, individually as a couple.

Speaker 2 (12:59):
Oh that's what I like.

Speaker 1 (13:01):
That's what I wanted to do with my boyfriend, but
I was too scared because it would it would turn
into like a fight, Like I was scared I would
lose control of it and it would become not fun
to listen to, and there would be too many stopdowns
of like we can't air this.

Speaker 2 (13:15):
Like had there.

Speaker 1 (13:17):
Been moments like that with you guys where you're like,
can we air this?

Speaker 2 (13:20):
Like this is getting heated?

Speaker 3 (13:22):
We were learning that it's better for us, like if
we do want to get into something that was and
like an actual hard thing to talk about in the moment,
that we have to let it be completely cooled off
before we talk about it on the podcast. So when
I talked through an argument that we had that in
like what it was about was so stupid and silly,

(13:44):
which are you know, ninety nine percent of relationship right feel?

Speaker 2 (13:47):
Can you tell me what it was about? Do you
remember this one?

Speaker 3 (13:50):
Yeah? We were walking to our car in a parking
garage and Chad is just like he just becomes Jason
Bourne in public where he just like feels like he
knows the most efficient way to do everything transportations, but
he doesn't communicate that with the people around him. And
so I'm like, and I'm very like, I have my
hood up. I'm like, I don't even know where I'm walking.

(14:12):
I'm just in another world.

Speaker 1 (14:13):
Yeah, you're just blindly following him. Yeah, and so he
and he's parcouring really Yeah, so he.

Speaker 3 (14:18):
Felt like I was in the way of a car
coming and he kind of tried to like shepherd me,
like out of the way. But in that moment, it
felt like I don't know. I mean, he's he is
older than me, and I think I felt like that
that girl feeling of like I can do it, like
I don't need you to like tell me like where

(14:39):
to walk or whatever. And uh, and then I kind
of shut down for a few minutes, which is his
ultimate like hates a silent treatment. Yeah, I wasn't trying
to give a silent treatment. I'm more like I want
to take a few minutes to think before I talk.

Speaker 2 (14:55):
And those two are so like relatable. Yeah, it that's
the problem.

Speaker 1 (15:01):
Everyone that does the silent treatment most of the time
isn't trying to They're just like that's their weird processing shit.
And the people that hate the silent treatment are being
given it have no idea what that is. Like I
find that me and like I hate the silent treatment too,
and when I get it, I'm just like just get
over it now, Like you know, I didn't mean to
you know, it didn't mean to make you feel like

(15:21):
a child.

Speaker 2 (15:21):
Do you understand that?

Speaker 1 (15:22):
Okay, yes, now, like let's go back to be happy,
like I said, sorry, And they usually need to like
process it, which is.

Speaker 2 (15:29):
Oh, totally fine, but man, those but I relate to
that so much.

Speaker 1 (15:35):
Okay, So so you're sulking a little bit, like you're
just like piecing it together, but you're a little quiet.

Speaker 3 (15:40):
Yeah, I'm just trying to cool off a little bit
before saying things that are like a bigger feeling than
I actually feel. And yeah, he just was like, well, okay,
like I guess today's ruiner. Like he immediately then feels
so like, well, I guess this is this whole thing now.

(16:02):
So he would rather say how he feels right then
and then apologize later, and I would rather wait and
not have to apologize. But it's just like these are.

Speaker 1 (16:12):
The yeah exactly, yours doesn't ever come yes, but you
guys all just go off and you mullet over and
you make peace with yourself, but like we don't.

Speaker 2 (16:21):
Yes, that is that's so interesting.

Speaker 1 (16:24):
And how many times I have said, I guess the
day's ruined because I did some little thing and he
needs three seconds to fucking just come out of his
funk where he thought I was doing the mean thing
or whatever, and man, it's it's I've been through that
a million times. It's so fun, I know, which is
it's so nice to hear someone else buzzing yeah.

Speaker 3 (16:43):
I mean, we're how you're saying that you were afraid
to do with your boyfriend because you're like, oh my god,
is this going to be like too rocky? There are
times where we end theps so we're like, fuck, should
we be showing people just that we don't know really
what our relationship looks like like if we do have
a bad day whatever. But it has been so nice
to get comments from people like oh my god, thank you,

(17:04):
and now we feel so much less alone if we're
having a similar fight. So I think it's nice. You
do see too many Instagram versions of couples, and then
I think you feel extra like shit if you have
a bad day with your partner because you're like, well,
I guess we're yes, fucking doom. Then it's like no, it's.

Speaker 1 (17:21):
Everyone's like rational and thoughtful and remorseful and just you know,
full of gratitude for their partner. Even when they're like
talking about tough times, they always like talk about the
most healthy way in which they handled it, Like, at
least the stuff I'm being sold is like partners just
being super empathetic towards each other and being like and
maybe admitting they did wrong, but it just even the

(17:43):
bad seems good. That's the illusion of Instagram, Like even
the things that are like this is my real acting
and you're like, well, fuck you, that's not even that bad,
or like look at my cellulite and you're like that that yeah, okay, wow,
well I guess you're showing me your worst. I'm still
feeling now I feel bad about myself because it's not
as bad as my worst, right, Yeah, even the bad
stuff is curated, So that's that's nice, And I mean

(18:04):
that's what we're I think that's what we are as
comedians better at than pretty much everyone else. Is just
being saying humiliating things or being really vulnerable in a
way that most other.

Speaker 2 (18:17):
People would be like, you can't put that out, and
we're just like, I don't know, fine, as long as
it was funny.

Speaker 3 (18:22):
The clip that you were talking about with the woman
in the crowd who's like a super fan of dads
and I mean we talked about that on the podcast
because that blew up online into this whole I had.
I mean, it has like over twelve million views on
TikTok and a couple of days like it went so
much crazier than I expected it to. And then you

(18:43):
do have people like, oh shit, like what's he doing?
Like what's what's going on? Girl? Like can you trust him?

Speaker 2 (18:49):
And I'm like, are you kidding me?

Speaker 3 (18:51):
So funny?

Speaker 2 (18:51):
People are so weird?

Speaker 1 (18:53):
Yeah, it's it's and you know what, men are such
pieces of shit, Like so many women are dealing with
just a horrible men that the assumption that there's anything
shady going on with your that fan and Chad from
your clip makes me realize there's a real there's a
problem of like cheating and just shittiness going on. If

(19:13):
that's the first reaction someone has, h but it kind
of yeah, that's what you see.

Speaker 2 (19:17):
Like TikTok comments.

Speaker 1 (19:18):
I mean they've got to be the worst, right, Like
I'm not on TikTok, but I hear that's those are
the worst ones.

Speaker 2 (19:24):
They're up there with YouTube.

Speaker 3 (19:25):
I made the mistake of redownloading Twitter to post the
video because somebody else had posted it and it got
and they didn't tag me, of course, and I got
like six million views of course is always how that goes.
And I looked at the comments there and I was like, ooh,
like these people are like truly the yeah, like the most.

Speaker 4 (19:46):
Twitter is the worst. YouTube's actually not so bad these days.

Speaker 3 (19:50):
I forgot.

Speaker 1 (19:50):
Yeah, okay, yeah, it's I didn't even know. I don't
even think about it anymore. But yeah, I'm guessing. And Threads,
how do they taking I'm just kidding.

Speaker 3 (20:02):
Four Threads. I joined when everybody said you should join,
and I posted four times and.

Speaker 2 (20:07):
I haven't done it.

Speaker 4 (20:08):
That's everybody. Yeah, Threads was a disaster, but everyone's really
nice on threads. If you could post on threads, generally
they're like, thank you for being here.

Speaker 2 (20:16):
All right, Yeah that would that? How did you guys? Oh?
Should we go to break?

Speaker 4 (20:22):
No?

Speaker 1 (20:22):
Where are you saying, honey, yeah, let's go to break
because I want to hear about the genesis of your
relationship with comedian Chant Daniels, because two comedians stating I
always wanted to scoop.

Speaker 2 (20:30):
And I haven't had it yet. So we'll cover that
when I get back if she wants to start. All right,
we're back with Kelsey Cook.

Speaker 1 (20:40):
You can follow her on Instagram Kelsey Cook Comedy and
she has a special called The Hustler that is out
on YouTube now and then you can go see her
tape her New Hour April sixth in Medicine, Wisconsin.

Speaker 3 (20:50):
Where are you taping that comedy on State?

Speaker 2 (20:53):
Oh my god, the great comic the country there.

Speaker 3 (20:56):
This is kind of wild to like shoot the first
time going there, but everybody has said it's so good
that I feel like.

Speaker 1 (21:02):
Oh that place, God, man, you're that's the place, is
you girl? Like that place is like I being there,
It's like, oh my god, the kind of comedy you
do is gonna fucking kill there, Like really just great jokes, bombastic,
like like just interactive, like it's the perfect place for that.

Speaker 2 (21:21):
And it's such a good energy.

Speaker 1 (21:22):
It's such a good place, as you well know from
like every comedian that talks about it.

Speaker 2 (21:25):
It really is is going to be amazing. So April sixth,
get tickets to go see that. So yeah, your.

Speaker 1 (21:32):
Boyfriend is one of the funniest comedians that every comedian
sites is like their favorite comedian Chat Daniels. He's been
around forever. He's you said you older than you you
obviously knew about him before, or did you? How did
you guys end up being uh being together?

Speaker 3 (21:46):
You're yeah, I am.

Speaker 4 (21:48):
Did you go on to one of his shows and yell
at him?

Speaker 2 (21:50):
And yeah? Were you a super fan? Everyone, well, every
comedian that.

Speaker 1 (21:54):
Knows anything knows Chad Daniels is one of the best,
So it's like you you had to have been a fan.

Speaker 4 (21:59):
Yeah, you to his girlfriend's show and yelled at I mean, the.

Speaker 3 (22:04):
Biggest superman bought a house with the man. That's like
the creepiest thing. The first time I had heard of him, actually,
I was on my way to the airport and my
lyft driver was playing his.

Speaker 4 (22:15):
Album Wow, And I.

Speaker 3 (22:18):
Had heard his name before, just through comedy, but I
hadn't ever listened. And this lyft driver and I ended
up like bonding the whole ride because we were both
just dying laughing at his album.

Speaker 4 (22:29):
And uh, how long did you guys date.

Speaker 3 (22:34):
Really really started a great relationship with him? But no,
it was so like mind blowing to me how I
just like could not stop laughing out loud that whole ride.
He was so funny. And then I had chat on
my web series with Severy. I had a football web
series on YouTube for a few years. Oh yeah, so
the first time we met is actually on YouTube, Like

(22:56):
you can.

Speaker 2 (22:57):
Watch as whoa, that's so cool.

Speaker 3 (23:00):
Yeah, so it's fun.

Speaker 1 (23:01):
To If I watched it, am I gonna be like,
oh my god. There's so many signs these two are
like rush ship.

Speaker 3 (23:07):
You could definitely see like some chemistry. I think, yeah,
but I was married at the time and he was
in a relationship.

Speaker 2 (23:14):
Oh so I'm sure there's none.

Speaker 3 (23:16):
Well oh no, but you know, we were I feel like,
having like a really fun good time on camera, but
like when the camera was off, I thought that Chad
like hated I thought that he because he was trying
to be really respectful to his friend and to my husband,
and so I I mean that day, I was like

(23:39):
kind of sad. So I was like, oh god, I
think he's so funny, but like, I don't even think
he likes me as a person. Like I really felt
like nothing, whatever, you know.

Speaker 1 (23:49):
That's happened so often when you like, I know that
it's happened to me a bunch, and not even because
I'm trying to respect someone in a relationship. And this
is this could if you're in a relationship, you you
happen to like have feelings for someone else, Like it
happens to people. It's not a bad thing if you
catch feelings while you're in a relationship. Let's just like
get over that first and foremost you can't help what
you feel. But like, when I like someone or even like,

(24:14):
I go the opposite way because I don't want them
to know and I don't want I don't want myself
to even recognize it, especially if I'm with someone I like.

Speaker 2 (24:23):
Don't want to acknowledge it. So I go the other way.

Speaker 1 (24:25):
And I'm like, instead of being a neutral person that's
just friendly, I'm a bitch. I turned into like, yeah,
I turned into like kind of mean, and yeah, I
overcompensate because I'm so scared of letting in that feeling
and I can't let them know. And so a lot
of times guys have been that I liked to have
been like she hates me, including my boyfriend Chris, like
was about to quit my show that he was working

(24:47):
on when I was in love with them before we
got together, and he was gonna quit because or like
look for other works because he's like the host hates me.

Speaker 2 (24:56):
She doesn't look at me, she doesn't talk to me.

Speaker 1 (24:57):
And it was really I mean, I probably could be
I like get me too for this, but like I
was mean to him because I liked it, so I
couldn't It wasn't trying to be but I was not
a good boss because I liked him so much and
I couldn't let him see that because it was too vulnerable.
But that's really funny that I love like going back.

Speaker 2 (25:14):
And being like you were so weird that.

Speaker 1 (25:16):
First day, Like so when did it? When did you
guys reconnect? Like when were you both single again?

Speaker 4 (25:22):
You?

Speaker 1 (25:22):
You you got a divorce. I mean, god, damn girl,
you've been through a lot.

Speaker 3 (25:26):
It's twenty twenty. Twenty twenty was a lot. And then
I moved to Spokane feeling like, Okay, I'm gonna move home.
I'm gonna like have kind of a fresh start. Twenty
twenty one is going to be great. And literally three
weeks after I moved home, my mom went to the hospital.
So it was just like there was a lot of
hard stuff and New.

Speaker 4 (25:44):
Year's can you say why she went to the hospital
the first time?

Speaker 3 (25:47):
So she went and I actually I found her on
her floor, called time on one, and she had a
perforated stomach ulcer, her gallbladder was full of stones, and
she had COVID, so she was like almost septic.

Speaker 2 (26:03):
They did a merriple threat.

Speaker 3 (26:05):
Yeah, they did emergency surgery, and when she came out
of surgery, she was a completely different person because she
had underlying dementia and we didn't realize that anesthesia can acceler.

Speaker 2 (26:18):
Oh no, oh, it like, let's it out.

Speaker 3 (26:21):
Fuck. Yeah, So it really.

Speaker 1 (26:23):
Like Kelsey, Shit, why still together? So were they were
not at the time? Was your mom? Did you have
like a stepdad or is she dating anyone?

Speaker 2 (26:32):
Or it's just you. Do you have brother? You have siblings?

Speaker 1 (26:34):
Helped me.

Speaker 3 (26:35):
I have a younger brother, but he's he's almost six
years younger than me, and you know, lived out of state,
had a baby on.

Speaker 2 (26:43):
The way, So this was a lot on.

Speaker 3 (26:44):
Yeah. I was there with her in the hospital every
day for five months. Basically it was like.

Speaker 2 (26:52):
During COVID hospital like weird times.

Speaker 3 (26:56):
Yeah. When she came out of the surgery, I mean
she for a long I thought she had time traveled
because it was like everybody in these like giant house
matt suits around her like it was so disorienting for her.

Speaker 1 (27:08):
Oh yeah, she didn't have dementia. She was just confused why.

Speaker 4 (27:12):
I mean.

Speaker 3 (27:14):
Advanced She's like no, yeah, yeah, God.

Speaker 4 (27:17):
Damn it of anesthesia can accelerate it. That's just horrifying.

Speaker 3 (27:21):
I know, I know. So yeah, I know, Nikki, we
haven't really talked in so long, and I just was like.

Speaker 1 (27:28):
Yeah, there's a lot like dementia, but.

Speaker 2 (27:31):
I've just seen the highlights.

Speaker 1 (27:32):
I've seen you just like, like, you know, just blow
up online and then have this relationship.

Speaker 2 (27:38):
So I thought everything was you know.

Speaker 4 (27:40):
Sad Instagram, that's social media. You think she's just living
a high life, getting all these followers, touring, getting a
new boyfriend. Little do you know she's getting divorced. Their
mom's in hospice.

Speaker 3 (27:53):
Yeah, it's truly, and that's why.

Speaker 2 (27:56):
We really can have it all.

Speaker 3 (27:58):
Yeah. I started to post more about my mom in
the last maybe a year or so because it was
nice to feel more of a connection to people online
who were going through something similar. But it also just
felt like it felt so weird to not show this
entire part of my life that was happening.

Speaker 4 (28:19):
Yeah, and I don't know sure.

Speaker 3 (28:20):
A long time I just felt like, I don't know
if she would want me to be like posting about this,
but you do, like you do get to a point
where you're like, okay, it's been years now, Like she
also would want people who love for who maybe don't
know that this is happening, to know about it. But anyway,
that was.

Speaker 1 (28:37):
I'm gonna go out to dinner with my parents tonight.
I'm going to ask them when they their mind starts
to go if it's okay if I post like, I'm
gonna get their permission, because I'll be I'll be tempted
to want to and I'll probably say no, and then
I can't. So I probably shouldn't ask me to just
ask for permission later. But no, But but it is
important to show that part of it. It sucks when
you have as a comedian and as someone who has

(28:59):
you have two podcasts, and you have you're on stage
every night, and you just you want to be able
to share every facet of your life. And I don't
think most people have private parts of their life, but
it really sucks when you got to make one as
a comedian, a major one that is influencing every way
you see the world. Now you can't say why this
might be your overall tone about other things, like the

(29:21):
underlying thing. You want to be able to get it
all out. So that's really good that you can now.

Speaker 4 (29:25):
I felt the same way. I felt the same way
about my my mattress, I mean is so long. I
was wondering whether I should share my mattress journey.

Speaker 1 (29:35):
We really regret that you did. I think it was
too soon.

Speaker 4 (29:37):
But the outpouring, the outpouring of negativity that came, yeah,
was inspired.

Speaker 1 (29:43):
Kelsey, how did you and Chad start talking again? So, like,
when did that happen?

Speaker 3 (29:47):
It was a little bit of a felt like a
kind of a gem and pan thing for a while
after that, where like kind of one of us would
reach out and be like, hey, how are you doing,
and the other person and would be in a relationship,
and then that person would be out of the relationship
and reach out to them, and then they would be
in a relationship, and so yeah it you know, And

(30:08):
like I said, that first time I met him, I
really was like, oh, I don't even think he likes
me as a person. He was so stonefaced. Then it's
funny now because even the first I don't know good
chunk of our relationship. In the beginning, he was so
hard to read because he just was so terrified to
get hurt. He had all of these walls. But we

(30:30):
would go on dates and I would be like, I'm
having fun. Are you having fun? Because it would just
make me like mini golfing, and he would.

Speaker 2 (30:39):
Just like he'd be so nervous that he has to
like turn it off.

Speaker 3 (30:43):
Yeah, like no expression on his face.

Speaker 2 (30:46):
And you knew there was more to.

Speaker 1 (30:48):
This guy because you can see his comedy, Like if
there weren't ways for you to watch him on podcasts
and watch him on YouTube, like you know this guy,
the guy that you are attracted to, is lurking somewhere
underneath all of this, Like why can't you like this
around me when like eventually obviously that edifice like fell
away and you were able to like get to that.

Speaker 2 (31:08):
How many dates did it take? How long before?

Speaker 3 (31:10):
I mean, because we were a long distance for the
first you know, oh, yes.

Speaker 2 (31:19):
You're starting over every time kind of.

Speaker 3 (31:21):
So but yeah, I mean he and he's opened up
about it on the podcast, but just really really uh
felt so strongly about me, which is so sweet, but
would like hide that because he was afraid to get hurt,
and so he just kind of like really kept walls

(31:43):
up for a long time until he felt I think
for sure that I wasn't gonna hurt him or you know,
it was godna work out. But yeah, it took a
long time and a lot. It just it went slower
than any relationship I've ever bet interesting, very very.

Speaker 2 (31:58):
Well, and then and now it's working.

Speaker 1 (32:00):
Yeah, and he has kids, right, and how long did
it take you before you met them? So I met
and was that so I would be so nervous because
they're like teens, right, they're like teen girls.

Speaker 3 (32:12):
So he has a twenty four year old son and
a nineteen year old daughter.

Speaker 2 (32:16):
Oh yeah, so they're beyond teens. Yeah, yeah, at least
one of them.

Speaker 1 (32:19):
That's a lot. That's so like they're like closer to
your age. Like it's like that's that's my like dream,
because you kind of like they're not they're over that
stage where they're like you're not my real mom. So
it's like there's not that pressure that you're filling the
shoes of this person who like they don't even live
with their dad anymore. So it's not like they But
it's also like they're they're adults, so they might like

(32:40):
roll their eyes at you a little bit more like
what was your feeling going into that?

Speaker 2 (32:44):
Yeah, how'd that go?

Speaker 3 (32:45):
So his son was a little bit easier to connect
with initially, not necessarily to connect with, but just like
I felt like he accepted me a little bit more quickly.
He and his daughter are very close and they I
think have been able to spend a lot of time
just the two of them hanging out, and so for
me to come into the picture, I think felt like

(33:08):
it disrupted her typical quality time with her dad, and
I think it's I mean, I talk about this a
little bit on stage. I wanted her to like me
so badly initially, but that has to be so weird
for somebody in her position to try to like me
because I'm posting jokes online about like blowing her dad,

(33:29):
and it's like that's no, truly like what that would
be weird? The worst a nineteen year old was like
oh yeah, fuck yeah, like welcome to Thanksgiving. Any nineteen
year old, I feel like totally you know what I mean,
I feel, So what's discussed If my stepmom talked about that.

Speaker 1 (33:47):
We're porn Kelsey, we're porn stars, like we're we're doing
we're making jokes, but some of the stuff we describe,
if you close your eyes, it's porn for the blind,
like there's no dip. Like we're describing a very intimate
sexual app sometimes in graphic detail, and yeah, you're that's
that's the world. I would first of all, I would
hate you already because you're like pretty, and you're young,

(34:10):
and like you're taking time away like my dad. I
was number one for my dad now and it seems
like he's like kind of split in number one with
someone else, Like I don't want to share it.

Speaker 2 (34:18):
Like we can all relate to that feeling, not all
of us.

Speaker 1 (34:21):
But if you have a good relationship with your dad,
like I can, I would hate it.

Speaker 2 (34:25):
I would have, but I wanted I want it.

Speaker 1 (34:26):
Secretly wanted my parents to divorce when I was little
because I wanted to hate a step mom.

Speaker 2 (34:31):
It looked so fun like.

Speaker 1 (34:33):
On you know, a Freaky Friday or no parent trap,
like I wanted to like put frogs in someone's sleeping
bag and like I don't know, like put nair in
her shampoo and everything, like I think that's from the
craft that was a little bit worse. But I just
wanted to like terrorize a woman and hate her. And
and because I can't talk to my mom that way,

(34:54):
I can't be like fuck you, but like you feels
like you could say fuck you to like your dad's
new girlfriend, you know, and I I wanted to shout
like you're not my real mom at someone, and sadly
for me, they stayed together. Oh god, but yeah, that
is when you're your parents are divorced. Did you did
you have to meet a new dad's girlfriend type thing?

(35:15):
Had you been on that side of things before?

Speaker 3 (35:16):
Oh? Yeah, My my stepmom was in the picture early on,
and uh she was very different from my mother a.

Speaker 1 (35:24):
Little too early on, a little too early on, like
before before things we even went down.

Speaker 3 (35:33):
I was trying to be careful about how I talk
about it non podcast because I was like to open
one time and it was they didn't appreciate.

Speaker 2 (35:39):
It comes back to get you, okay, But yes, uh.

Speaker 3 (35:42):
Yeah, they just very very different households between my dad
and stepmom's house and my mom's you know, growing up
like my dad's house, it became very strict. It was
like a little handmaid's tail sort of a vibe, and
so I had a lot of resentment toward my stepmom
and my dad when I was younger, and so the

(36:03):
way that if his daughter feels negatively towards me, I'm
always like I get it.

Speaker 2 (36:08):
I like, I've been such an.

Speaker 3 (36:10):
Unnatural thing, Like you don't think you're rooting for your
parents to like fuck until they're fucking somebody else that
isn't your mom, And then you're like, who is this?
Like I don't like this, this isn't.

Speaker 1 (36:25):
Yes, Oh you mean you don't realize that you're rooting
for your parents to fuck each other until they're fucking
someone else.

Speaker 3 (36:31):
Yes, yes, yeah, you're always like roast out by that initially,
but then when they are somebody else, are like, oh
I don't want them to sleep with these other who
are these people?

Speaker 1 (36:39):
It's so much grosser. Brian, you dealt with it too,
were you was their initial like oh who's this woman?
I hate her feelings?

Speaker 4 (36:48):
Well, my stepdad was the first person in the picture,
and he was great. I mean I never got to
say you're not my real dad. I just he was
an amazing guy. And he was just an amazing guy,
an amazing step dad, and he was like a second
dad to me and my brother and my half sister,

(37:08):
and I was just very pleased.

Speaker 2 (37:12):
That's great.

Speaker 4 (37:13):
I was just very pleased the whole time.

Speaker 2 (37:16):
Yeah, I think I.

Speaker 1 (37:16):
Would have eventually gotten used to it, but at first
it would have been be very hard. But yeah, that's
there is a part of me that dreams of being like,
I don't know if I'm going to be a mom someday,
but I would be like I think i'd be a
pretty good step mom. I think I would be, like
you're saying, empathetic about how this isn't easy and all
those things. There's a part of me that's like holding
on for that, like I don't know what could happen,

(37:38):
Like maybe that's what I'll do in the future.

Speaker 2 (37:43):
But yeah, that's what is it. So where are you
right now? I can tell you're on the road because
you're in the classic hotel room set up.

Speaker 3 (37:49):
Yeah, I am in Tacoma right now.

Speaker 4 (37:52):
Oh, Spokane of the West, the.

Speaker 3 (37:56):
West, yes, so which I like this club so much.
It's actually my home club that I was a house
and there like twelve years ago. So it's so fun
to go and do it now.

Speaker 1 (38:07):
But are you saying in the hotel that celebrates all
the glass artists in town. You know, there's some Is
that that is Tacoma, the one that's like the town
of Glass, or is that's that's maybe that's the Gas
Museum or something like that.

Speaker 2 (38:21):
There's some.

Speaker 1 (38:22):
Oh and in Tacoma is where they filmed that scene
in Ten Things I Hate About You.

Speaker 3 (38:29):
The house is so close to hear you know, I
have a rental bar. I should do that tomorrow. I've
always you should.

Speaker 1 (38:35):
You should go to the football field where there's like,
you know, the grand stand, like the stands where he
does that I Love You Baaby and it's Heath Ledger
running up and down like it's so iconic and it's
such a cool looking thing. And I went there when
I was in Spokane years ago. I went to go
look at it. I ran over there and there were
these two other women there and we were just kind

(38:56):
of like looking at each other, like are.

Speaker 2 (38:58):
You here because Ten Things I Hate About You? And
they're like yeah. People were like, oh, this is so random.

Speaker 1 (39:02):
Like you know, twenty three years later after that movie
and and I've remained for those women were like what
do you do?

Speaker 2 (39:08):
And I was like, I have a show tonight, you
want to come.

Speaker 1 (39:09):
So they came to that show and they have come
to every single show and that area for like the
last eight years or whenever, however long that was. But
I made friends that day. But yeah, that's a cool
one to go see.

Speaker 2 (39:19):
I'm not someone.

Speaker 1 (39:19):
Who's like you're getting it in it, but if you
have a car, you might as well.

Speaker 2 (39:24):
You reminding me.

Speaker 3 (39:25):
I mean, that is one of my all time favorite movies,
and I've it's so I looked it up on Google
Maps before and made a mental note, but I forgot
until I'm back here now there.

Speaker 1 (39:34):
But yeah, hell yeah, okay, we're gonna go to break
and come back.

Speaker 2 (39:37):
Right after this.

Speaker 1 (39:41):
So, Kelsey, you and your boyfriend you moved to where's
he live?

Speaker 3 (39:46):
We live in Minneapolis now? Yeah, so wow, I've never
done that. How's that before? To move? Yeah to Minnesota
of all places? Like any time? Yeah, Like, well, you
must really fucking love him because.

Speaker 4 (39:59):
That Do you have anybody out there? Any friends? Or
I the closest person.

Speaker 3 (40:07):
And I shouldn't say it's it is nice now, I
do really like it. It's not a buckle. But I
moved there in January last year. It's brute like negative
twenty five.

Speaker 4 (40:18):
Can ice fish.

Speaker 1 (40:19):
Yeah, and you're on the road so much, it's like
probably hard to get friends. Like, yeah, you're serious when
you say you don't have do you have like girlfriends
that you've met on your own? Intel, Like, it's hard
to meet friends as an adult in a new city.

Speaker 2 (40:31):
How the fuck do you do it?

Speaker 1 (40:32):
I mean, I'm sure you have friends that of his
that you've met through him, but yeah, i've I mean,
are you going to art classes on Monday nights?

Speaker 2 (40:39):
Like where are you going to meet some.

Speaker 3 (40:41):
It's so hard. I think it's hard just as an
adult to make friends anyway, but this is an especially
weird career to try to make friends, and because I'm
gone all the time, and I think it's just I
think it gets exceedingly hard to connect with people who
aren't comedians because your job in your life are so
specific that to like start from scratch with a new

(41:03):
friend who's just like like works in a dental office,
you're kind.

Speaker 1 (41:06):
Of like, oh, yeah, we're just honestly, I feel like
a freak. Yeah, like a little bit, like you're just
it's there's something elite us to being like it's hard
for us to be friends with normal people.

Speaker 2 (41:18):
But it's not even that.

Speaker 1 (41:19):
I feel like like a night walker or something, or
I feel like a like I come from the sewer
system or something like I feel like I live, I
live in a different world where we talk about things differently,
we communicate more honestly and openly, and like, that's why
I've drawn to autistic people right at the gate, because
they're like they kind of operate on that honest level. Yes,

(41:41):
I think maybe, but yet it feels hard for me
to make friends locally, even though I know that I've
so many people that listen to this podcast and they
would be a great friend of mine, and most of
my girlfriends are not comedians. To make new friends, though,
I just feel like it takes unless I the only
way I know I'm going to be friends with someone
is if they're instantly like really fucking they share a

(42:02):
weird thing or it's like and it can't just be like,
don't try to just come up to me and say
something weird and think we're gonna be best friends, Like
it has to be like something there's just a moment
where I just know, you know, and it doesn't happen
that often.

Speaker 2 (42:15):
And then you have to nurture it.

Speaker 4 (42:17):
And yeah, you.

Speaker 1 (42:18):
Really have to like work on relationship, you know, friendships
like relationships. You can't just like meet someone and then
like once every six months hang out with a new
friend that's not gonna take off. You got to like
see them frequently.

Speaker 3 (42:29):
Yes, Yeah, it's so hard. And I completely agree with
what you're saying. Me saying like, oh it's hard to
connect with somebody who's a dental Hygiennis isn't a dig
on them. It's like a dig on me.

Speaker 4 (42:37):
Oh, I know, they're horrible. I mean, if you're trying
friends with one of them, all they want to talk
about is teeth. It's like, is there anything else going on?

Speaker 1 (42:46):
I mean, yeah, their son is doing hockey this fall. Yeah, winter,
and so they have to sign up for that. There's
things that they're going on in the nose. No, yeah,
it's there's just a different.

Speaker 4 (42:55):
What you're gonna have a hard time with. In my
theory on friends, my circle of friends is my theory
on friends.

Speaker 2 (43:01):
Oh yeah, he has another theory.

Speaker 4 (43:02):
I have another theory this. I know a little bit
more offhand. Your core group is your second, your third
circle of friends, and that's a group of people that
you're friends with, mostly because of proximity and so, like
when you're in a new place, like a new city,
like you moved to Minneapolis, one of your primary goals

(43:23):
if you're looking for friends is to find a core group,
and those are people that you can consistently hang out
with in the city you live in. You may not
be friends with those people if you moved out of Minneapolis.
Some of them you could, some of them can move up.
But having a core group I found usually it's four
to six people that you can consistently do things with.

(43:44):
What are you doing on fourth of July? Like shit
like that?

Speaker 1 (43:48):
Okay, here's I'm going to stop you. This isn't gonna
happen for Kelsey and it's not going to happen for
me because we're on the road from Thursday through Sunday.

Speaker 2 (43:55):
When we get home, we don't really.

Speaker 1 (43:57):
Want to hang out with anyone. Monday through Thursday, we
don't really were You got your boyfriend, you got maybe
his kids coming in, Like that's enough. It's enough for
four days with the boyfriend and up being alone.

Speaker 4 (44:09):
You're not on the road every single most.

Speaker 1 (44:13):
Week, Yes, she is forever weekends, forever yes, forever.

Speaker 4 (44:18):
That times when you take off, They'll be times.

Speaker 1 (44:22):
When I'm taking off for the first time in fucking
over a year and I'm going to Australia for the
whole goddamn time. I'm not like hanging out in Saint
Louis when you when we have to any time off,
we go on vacations.

Speaker 4 (44:34):
Well, that's fine, it's this, You're right, it's a special circumstance.
If you're never in the city, then I guess you
don't really live there. I mean you have a home
there that you go sleep in.

Speaker 1 (44:43):
That's kind of feels true sometimes, Kelsey, I'm sorry to
say what I think you're experiencing. Does that resonate like
when you're off the road, like don't you just don't
want to do anything?

Speaker 3 (44:53):
Well, And it's tough too because Chad also is gone
the same amount of time I am, so we're in
a long distance relationships still half of the week. So
then when we're home we're like trying to almost binge
each other. It feels like and like pack in qual
any time and suit. Yes, But then if I'm home

(45:14):
for a weekend and he's gone, that is the time
where it feels desperate. That's what I'm like, Fuck, like
I really yes, But I have started to hang out
a little bit with There are some comedians girlfriends who
live there who and that's like a little bit even
if they don't do comedy, they get that world and

(45:36):
it's not has been an easier friendship.

Speaker 1 (45:39):
So like local comedians in Minneapolis their girlfriends.

Speaker 2 (45:44):
Yes, yes, that'll do.

Speaker 4 (45:46):
That does That's the makings of a core group right there. Yeah,
you guys are going to be playing pick a ball
enough time.

Speaker 1 (45:51):
I'm going like, I feel like most of you know, yeah,
I feel like in Saint Louis, I don't have that
many for I do like I have Taylor and I
my my mom has turned into someone that I liked
to No, Krystal lives in Kansas City, So yeah, most
of my my all my best friends are on girls
Chat and we're talking constantly on there, but face to face,

(46:12):
it's like I don't have a lot of that. But
tonight I am going on I'm taking my parents to
dinner and then we're going to see Tim Dillon's in
town and I'm so fucking excited because he's literally my
favorite comedian right now, I like consume everything he does,
and like I just randomly someone was like, oh yeah,
and I'm going to see Tim Dillon. My friend Bobby
ja Cox was asking me for tickets and I go, sorry,

(46:34):
I want tickets now. You told me he was in town,
and so I wrote Tim, and Tim's like, do you
want to do a set? And I'm like, I guess.
Like I I'm like, man, I gotta do a set tonight.
Like I just wanted to like enjoy it, but you
can't turn it down because I it's it's a great
audience to be in front of and I and I'm
such a Tim Dilan and it's such an honor to
even you know, be on the stage stare stage with him.

Speaker 2 (46:54):
So I'm doing it, but like some nights, you're just like, man,
do I have to?

Speaker 1 (46:58):
And all of a sudden, I'm nervous and I'm like
what am I gonna do? And it's like, you know,
a seven minute set, but I am like, what's the
best material for his crowd? Like I never overthink this shit,
And I'm like, oh man, now I got to perform.
But when I'm done, I'll be so excited to just
watch comedy. I'm so excited to go to a show
tonight and h and let loose because I rarely like

(47:19):
go to shows. I just started going recently. Do you
get to watch many of Chad's shows or do you
ever go on the road with him if you're not
working or vice versa.

Speaker 3 (47:27):
Well, everything you just said is I relate to it
so hard. I went to a couple of his dates
on the Bert Kresher tour over the summer, Oh yeah,
and truly just went as like I just want to support,
I just want to watch. This is such a cool opportunity.
And then we get there and it's literally fifteen minutes
before the show starts, and Bert's like, do you want

(47:47):
to open the show? And I'm like god, because these are.

Speaker 2 (47:51):
Like I have to say yes, don't I do?

Speaker 3 (47:54):
An arenas yes, And I'm so type a like I'm
never cool about anything. I can never just be yeah, sure,
fucking that'd be awesome. I'm like okay, and then I
immediately like almost shit, my pants had like ibs flare
up and freaking out speaking the same thing man thinking
where it's.

Speaker 2 (48:11):
Like, well that fits right in on the Bird Krasher tour.
That yeah, that's his closer.

Speaker 4 (48:15):
I think.

Speaker 1 (48:19):
That's Oh, that's so crazy, dude, that you got presented
with that, because those are I've done those shows.

Speaker 2 (48:24):
They're not easy. A lot of them are outdoors.

Speaker 1 (48:26):
Everyone's drunk, and to open them, like when they're not,
when it's still light outside, they're not. They're a tough crowd,
I would say. And there's thousands of them. It's like
ten thousand people sometimes, I mean fifteen twenty.

Speaker 3 (48:37):
I've you've been even close to that big of a
crowd before. And so anyway, when you're just saying that, like,
you don't usually get nervous, but when it's somebody else's
crowd who like, dude, they're not going to see you,
but you like, they're a great crowd, a great comic,
you want to make an awesome impression. But yeah, I mean,
of course you can't say no, I didn't.

Speaker 2 (49:00):
You can't say no I.

Speaker 1 (49:01):
This is the thing about this great career that we have.
These great opportunities come up. Like I got asked to
go to Steven Tyler's Grammy party this weekend. I had
the weekend off, my first weekend off in Saint Louis
in forever, and I had vocal cord surgery two years ago,
and it's the same surgeon that did Steven's chords. So
he like told Stephen about me, and somehow I got

(49:22):
on some list. I don't even met Stephen Tyler, but
I'm on some list where I got invited to this
party and I swear to got it.

Speaker 2 (49:27):
Came in and I go, God damn it, why did they?
Like I have to go?

Speaker 1 (49:31):
You can't not go to a huge celebrity party during
the Grammys where the Black Crows are playing and there's
like this celebrity auction. There's gonna be all this shit,
so I'm like flying in just for that. But there's
I think everyone can relate to, like like I'm going,
but like I wish they wouldn't have asked, even though
it's so cool, because it's just, you know, I hate

(49:54):
having anxiety. I hate like setting myself up to be
nervous about something. But like that's obviously why we got
into this, is because it gave us some sort of
thrill to overcome a fear of speaking in front of
people and doing this thing that's very scary, and it's
like we get high off of it.

Speaker 4 (50:10):
Yeah, I did it because I was ordered by a court.

Speaker 1 (50:17):
Actually people would rather do fucking anything than Can you
imagine that would people that would really cut down on
crime if one of the punishments was having to perform
stand up comedy. I really think that would deter criminals
because that is people's biggest views speaking.

Speaker 2 (50:34):
That would be That's a really good idea. Actually, noah, noah.

Speaker 1 (50:38):
If you were told that you would to do five
minutes of stand up comedy at an open mic for
Tim Dillon's crime, no, no, no, Tim Dillon show in front.

Speaker 4 (50:47):
Of forty hours of comedy.

Speaker 1 (50:51):
Service, idea, Yeah, and we do it voluntarily.

Speaker 2 (50:59):
Yeah, it's great career.

Speaker 3 (51:02):
Yeah oh yeah, that's right, and it was fun to
offer and it ended up amazing. But yeah, it's just
it is so much pressure with so little notice.

Speaker 1 (51:12):
And Bird is the king of like, yeah, we'll just
do it, like who get Like yeah, it'll be fine.

Speaker 2 (51:17):
Yeah He's just like so like yeah, like it.

Speaker 1 (51:20):
You know, Bird is obviously he's a very type a
person too in many ways, but there's also on that
tour especially, there's just this casual, casualness and also because
he's like the king of it, like you'd be like, yeah,
run this part of my country. Who gives a shit
like I'm the King, Like it wouldn't seem like a
big deal. Final thought, it's also really helpful when you
when you are someone who gets so nervous about something

(51:41):
to have it just like you don't get to think
about it.

Speaker 2 (51:44):
You don't have time, you just have to fucking do it.

Speaker 3 (51:46):
Yeah, it's good for you.

Speaker 2 (51:47):
Do you find that like it?

Speaker 1 (51:50):
After the do you do you find that you're like, oh,
I'm able to do it on the fly. Maybe I
don't need to worry as much. And does it help
you not worry as much or you stick to how you.

Speaker 3 (51:59):
Are it's not stuck. And it drives me crazy because
I've like proven to myself like several times in this career,
like you can do stuff under pressure, you can do
stuff with little warning, and anytime an opportunity comes up
that's high pressure. I still psych myself out the entire time.

Speaker 2 (52:16):
Yeah, it's it's just the natural thing to do.

Speaker 1 (52:19):
I agree. I'm just like I want to just like
start like I just recorded this song this today. It's
been all week, Like I was, I have a song
that I'm putting at the end of my special and
I couldn't afford to get a song that I like
wanted because they're like thirty thousand dollars and stuff.

Speaker 2 (52:35):
So I was like, oh, I'll just write a song.

Speaker 1 (52:37):
And I just like kind of I as soon as
I floated it, like would anyone let me do that?
And they said yes. I'm like, oh no, I just
I just burnt kreshured myself. I just steven tylered myself,
like I just gave myself an opportunity that I can't
say no to now, Like if I say no, then
I'm foregoing this opportunity to grow and challenge myself. So
I did it, and I had a producer fly in
and we booked out studio time and I had I'm

(52:57):
never home Monday through Friday, but I was this week,
and so wrote this song and recorded it, and my
vocals I'm just like, man, I'm just not I'm not
where I want to be vocally to really nail this
the one I want, the way I want to nail it.
And part of me is like, well, then you should wait,
like record like this, record the song later when you
are trained vocally to be good enough, and then another

(53:19):
part of me is just like, write another fucking song
because I remember getting so many opportunities early on in
my career and knowing that I sucked, like knowing I'm like,
I'm three years into comedy, I shouldn't be on last
comic standing. But what am I gonna say no to that?
Because I'm gonna be bad? Somebody trusted me to think
I was good enough, and not that there's really there's

(53:39):
someone in this scenario is just my produce producer and
my friends being like, no, this sounds this is good,
this is good enough, Like this sounds great?

Speaker 2 (53:46):
What are you talking about?

Speaker 1 (53:47):
But it's just like you just gotta go, like, you
know what, I'm just gonna do my best that I
can do right now, and there's something to glean from that.
Like Taylor Swift does not sound vocally as strong in
her first album at all.

Speaker 2 (54:00):
You're not even close to what she sounds like now.

Speaker 1 (54:03):
Now, would we tell her you should wait till you're
thirty three, Well, then we wouldn't have the Taylor Swift
we have now if she waited until she was and
she probably got vocally so much better within a couple
of years of that album. But she you gotta just
you gotta just take some chances and throw some stuff
out first and maybe not be as good as you
hope to be, you know, like, not everything's gonna be

(54:24):
at fucking ten. And sometimes you just gotta go, well,
I don't have enough, you gotta Joe koy it.

Speaker 2 (54:28):
I don't. I only have ten days to prepare. But
I'm gonna try my bath. And then I'm gonna blame it.

Speaker 1 (54:32):
On the background sometimes because if you look at the announcement,
it got announced on December twenty six, so that's actually
twelve days before it happened. And then you added to
the fact that he probably got asked to do it
a couple days before they announced it, so he probably
had like fourteen days. And that's just I'm just gonna
add that to the argument. We don't need to go
back and bring up old stuff, but yeah you can,
and that is nice. You can blame it on it

(54:52):
sometimes and be like, well.

Speaker 4 (54:54):
Some people release our specials that aren't ready and then
it hurts them like some sometimes it's like you probably
should have waited a little bit longer before you did
your first hour.

Speaker 2 (55:02):
Yeah, but then you do not do not do it, I.

Speaker 4 (55:05):
Think so, especially if you're just releasing it yourself on YouTube.

Speaker 1 (55:08):
These days, well, Okay, that's different if you're if it's
you that's telling you you've got this, But if it's
some fucking network that believes in you or someone that
believes in you, like, shouldn't you just try? And then
if you fail miserably, go, you know what, well, I'm
gonna fucking I'm gonna Taylor Swift and I'm gonna sing
a little off key or whatever it was. I haven't
even seen the performance at the Grammys. Uh, the first

(55:30):
one she did, she got panned for it. And then
I'm gonna take them saying that I should, that I'm
a flash in the pan, and that I am not
as good as people thought I was. And I really
just I blew it on the biggest stage possible. And
I'm gonna fucking be I'm gonna train so hard, I'm
gonna get so good, and I'm gonna come back and
I'm gonna win a Grammy for a song I wrote

(55:51):
about the fact that I was.

Speaker 2 (55:52):
Bad at one point.

Speaker 1 (55:53):
And you can do that, like, there's a way out.
Even if you embarrass yourself so much, there's always a
way to come out.

Speaker 2 (56:00):
If you're great, no one people might say, yeah, you
used to be bad, but like, if you know one,
like if we're.

Speaker 1 (56:08):
Talking about the same comedian I'm thinking about that, we
might be talking about it who maybe got a chance
too soon and released a special and everyone's like it's
not as good as we all thought it would.

Speaker 2 (56:16):
Be that guy or a girl.

Speaker 1 (56:18):
But that guy can now go away and work so
fucking hard and come back and be like, oh you
thought I was bad, Yeah, maybe I was, But like
he has ample opportunity to blow us away at some point.

Speaker 4 (56:31):
But he's not gonna and he's not gonna try, and
he's not Taylor Swift. But he could, but he's not.

Speaker 2 (56:36):
Yes, yes he could.

Speaker 4 (56:37):
There's one Taylor Swift and this guy is not that.

Speaker 1 (56:43):
But you know it's just well, Brian, you just defeated
my whole so you're thinking that like you should sometimes
say no.

Speaker 4 (56:51):
Michael Jordan did it. Michael Jordan got cut from his
high school basketball team, and then he came back and
became the greatest of all time.

Speaker 2 (56:58):
He didn't get cut himself.

Speaker 1 (57:00):
What I'm saying is like, do you turn down the
opportunity to a special?

Speaker 2 (57:03):
I feel you're not ready.

Speaker 4 (57:04):
They asked Michael Jordan to be on the high school basketball,
So he declined, he said, I'm not ready. I need
to practice a little bit more. Have then he joined
the Bulls a few years later. Have I declined things
that I wasn't. No, of course not. You have to
just go full hog into this shit and if you
fuck up. But the problem with that philosophy is that frequently,

(57:25):
I'd say, more often than not, you go, you fuck up,
and you don't get another chance. You just like they
just brand.

Speaker 1 (57:32):
Here's so many people who's but I would say, I
would say, also if you try and then you or
if you get asked to do something and you say no,
you'll never get asked again. So there's like there's also
that it's at least you did something, Like you know,
my friend Tim, my boyfriend's brother, was like, you know,
they were on the Tonight Show and he's like, that's

(57:54):
the biggest thing I'll ever His band was on the
Tonight Show in two thousand and eight, I think, And
now he's comedian and the band you know, plays a
little here and there, but that was like their big shot.
He's like, that's the biggest thing I ever did.

Speaker 2 (58:05):
And they like.

Speaker 1 (58:06):
Fucked up a chord, like they played a different version
of the song. It was like a thing, And I'm like,
was was that discouraging? He's like, yeah, we kind of
fumbled on the biggest thing we'll ever do.

Speaker 2 (58:14):
But it's like it's.

Speaker 1 (58:15):
Still the biggest, Like it's still the Tonight show. You
can no one's talking about the before. You can't take
that away. That person can always say I did a
Netflix special and in twenty years no one will know
what the quality of that was.

Speaker 4 (58:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (58:27):
Yeah, So it's just being able to say it and
you can put it on your tombstone.

Speaker 4 (58:31):
Yeah, in two hundred years, were dead, and then in
two thousand years, no one will know any individual person
that existed.

Speaker 2 (58:37):
No one cares.

Speaker 1 (58:38):
Yes, you walk down the Hollywood Walk of Fame, you
like every third star, you have no fucking clue who
that woman is.

Speaker 4 (58:48):
Yeah, yeah, and then you try to Google it and
it's like not even on Google.

Speaker 2 (58:52):
No, Google doesn't even know. Yeah, no one knows.

Speaker 1 (58:56):
And she was she was Angeline Jolie at some point,
she was the biggest star of her time. Your grandmother,
like you know, was obsessed with her and knew all
about who she was dating.

Speaker 2 (59:07):
Like, but we don't care at all. And this is
like this.

Speaker 1 (59:10):
Happens within twenty years. Yeah, so it all doesn't really matter,
but then it all matters.

Speaker 4 (59:14):
So I think about like ancient Egypt, and they're like
people who are really popular in ancient Egypt that everybody knew.

Speaker 2 (59:21):
Well, we're still we're still talking about Cleopatra and King tut.

Speaker 4 (59:24):
Yeah, all you know about are kings. That's all you
do really know about is kings important politicians is what
we know about throughout history.

Speaker 1 (59:32):
Yeah, it's like I don't know, I'm just I always
get to this point where I'm just like, you get
so jealous of someone's success or you get so discouraged
about your own or whatever. And then there's the other,
the other side of the coin, which is like we'll
all be forgotten and none of this matters, and their
life probably isn't as good as what you think.

Speaker 2 (59:49):
Like, I don't which is it. I really can't decide which.

Speaker 3 (59:52):
Everything was so fucking awesome the last few years. And
it's like true, truly, nobody can never know unless they
are really going log style on their life and showing
you like crying from.

Speaker 1 (01:00:03):
Your I mean, and then and then no one really
wants to see that, and they like like one post
about it and they're like, you're so vulnerable, thank you,
And then it becomes too much, and then you become
kind of crazy, and yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:00:15):
I think there's only so much suffering someone can witness
before they're like, I'm sick of this.

Speaker 3 (01:00:20):
Yeah, it's it's such a it's impossible to make it
about it.

Speaker 1 (01:00:26):
But well, I hope you have good shows in Tacoma
this weekend. I'm gonna have a great set with Tim.
It's I can't believe my life tonight. I'm manifesting it.

Speaker 2 (01:00:35):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:00:36):
By the time this airs, I had one of the
greatest thots of my life. And I got so many
new fans, and I made new friends with people who
uh Tim dillonheads and and yeah, and I, uh, Steven
Tyler is wants me to be uh the godparent?

Speaker 4 (01:00:50):
Who is That's pretty crazy. Yeah, it's crazy to me.

Speaker 3 (01:00:54):
Tomorrow.

Speaker 1 (01:00:55):
Yeah, I'm thinking Steven Tyler has to have an infant
child out there, so I'm not righting swaddled in his scarves.
So I'll meet that kid at the party. Kelsey, thank
you so much for coming on and it was so
good to catch up with you. And I just feel
like this is such a I just feel so good
about it because I, uh, it's been way too long girl,

(01:01:15):
So thank you for being here and everyone you. If
you don't know about Kelsey Cook, obviously you do now,
but follow her on everything.

Speaker 2 (01:01:22):
She's so funny.

Speaker 1 (01:01:23):
She's gonna have this new special out pretty soon April
sixth again Madison, Wisconsin. And yeah, check out her special
now that's on YouTube, The Hustler and her multiple podcasts.

Speaker 2 (01:01:33):
Thanks so much, Kelsey, you're the boss.

Speaker 3 (01:01:35):
Guys, it's so nice to catch you up.

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Nikki Glaser

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}#414 A Circle of Friends w/ Kelsey Cook!