#467 Nikki's Tirade, 'I'm Seated' & The Pup Has A Name!

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Nicki Gliser podcastisers.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
Here's Nikki.

Speaker 3 (00:11):
Hello here, I am welcome to the show. It's nick
Glazer Podcast. How's everyone doing today? It's an extra episode
this week. We've covered it all.

Speaker 1 (00:18):
But we're gonna keep going. Brian and Noah are here.

Speaker 4 (00:22):
Comedy today is a bunch of leftover bullshit.

Speaker 3 (00:26):
That we Yeah, sorry guys, Yeah, this is the scraps.
Brian are getting a lot of feedback on bone Appetite.

Speaker 4 (00:33):
Yeah, a good amount of feedback. Yeah, people are excited.
There was one person in particular who was very important
to me who I don't want to call out, but
I texted them the article without comment, you know, just like,
here's the article I texted to a bunch of important
people and then they really.

Speaker 1 (00:52):
Importing people in your life or people that.

Speaker 4 (00:54):
Like, yeah, like important people in my life.

Speaker 3 (00:57):
And you didn't say like, hey, check, like I'm in
the you just like scent it contory.

Speaker 1 (01:03):
I mean, I guess it is.

Speaker 4 (01:05):
Everybody who received it was like, oh my god, it's amazing. Whoa,
it's so good, It's so well written. And this one
person wrote back three hours later cool with no with no,
that's it just cool?

Speaker 2 (01:20):
Is it a sibling No, No, someone that is in
the business.

Speaker 4 (01:25):
No, No, this person should be much more effusive to
something like this. I don't want to say who it
is because I don't want to like call them out,
but I just feel like, did you it's a little
bit it?

Speaker 1 (01:37):
Or did you just write okay with a period?

Speaker 4 (01:40):
Back?

Speaker 3 (01:40):
Like?

Speaker 4 (01:40):
What is now? I just did nothing? I just did
nothing cool?

Speaker 3 (01:44):
Like did they write cool with a period or cool
exclamation mark?

Speaker 4 (01:47):
Just cool? No situation? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:51):
Like do they heart it too?

Speaker 4 (01:54):
No? No, just cool? And I was like, what the
fuck I mean to take it?

Speaker 3 (02:00):
Is this someone who's who you? What would you have
expected out of this person? Cool with an exclamation mark?

Speaker 4 (02:07):
I'm so proud of you parents.

Speaker 1 (02:12):
Oh no way, did your mom write cool?

Speaker 4 (02:15):
No? I'm not saying.

Speaker 2 (02:18):
Male or female based on this reaction.

Speaker 3 (02:22):
I don't even think this person's listening to this podcast
because they don't have an investment in the things you do.
Oh my god, I'm sorry. People can be so disappointing.
That's it's it's you know, she could have been he
or she could have been distracted at the time, but
it is so much more than cool. If someone that
you are a blood relative of, and I'm not talking
like if you are a cousin can write cool, a

(02:44):
sister can't write cool.

Speaker 1 (02:46):
You gotta have more than that.

Speaker 3 (02:48):
Can we all just step it up with celebrating things
in other people's lives a little bit more like it's
like just and it doesn't matter what's what it is,
like if it's cool to them, like excited for people
and also if someone's sending you something and I'm just like,

(03:08):
I gotta say I've been to like I'm just like
so disappointed in people lately for other people, Like you're
not even asking me to be disappointed at this person
for you. I mean, it's kind of you brought it
up in a way of like it's a little bit
of like what but I'm fucking annoyed at people lately.

Speaker 1 (03:24):
I didn't even want to go off on a tirade about.

Speaker 4 (03:25):
It, but not a trade.

Speaker 1 (03:28):
Here's a tirade. We love a tirade. It's about money.

Speaker 3 (03:32):
If you are rich and someone in your family who
you love isn't and they are struggling at all with money,
and you do not loan them amount of money that
you do not need, and you will not think about
or even notice is missing, You're a bad person, And
I just need to reiterate that, Like I'm talking to

(03:54):
you person who's listening to this, who has someone in
their life, And I think I've said it before, but
it needs to be repeated. If they're not if they
are not suffering with a psychosis, if they are popularly medicated,
even if they have like a bipolar tendencies and they
maybe were crazy before, and like you wouldn't have loaned
the money if they have been stable for over two years,
you give them money, You're not like you got you

(04:14):
gotta do this? Stop being stingy? What do you You're
not gonna notice that money. So many people in my
life are.

Speaker 1 (04:19):
Like, I'm you know, I'm struggling.

Speaker 3 (04:21):
I lost sleep last night because we just don't know
if we're gonna be able to afford this trip. And
and and it's like or like this this we want
to move, but we have to stay in this place
we don't want because or we have to downsize to
this place we don't want. And I'm like, your brother
has one hundred million dollars, What is happening?

Speaker 1 (04:40):
What's going on? Your brother who you're not estrange from,
what's going on?

Speaker 3 (04:43):
How could that brother know, like know that their brother
is moving to a small place and not go here's
ten grand. It's literally does not matter to me because
I have a hundred million dollars. I just got mad
at my mom last night because gee, we went out
to dinner and and I've really had to talk with
her recently about like, you got to stop this whole
thing of like when I get things for you, when

(05:04):
I pay for things, this whole muck we have to
trudge through of like no it's too much, And I'm like,
you have to know that if I'm buying it and
I say I'm going to, I don't need to do
this little dance with you of you saying it's too
much and I go, no, it's not, and then we
and then it always ends with me buying it. It's
never not going to. I wouldn't offer it if I
couldn't afford it. I'm not someone who's bad with money.

(05:26):
I have people that helped me not be bad with money,
trust me. But last so I just had to talk
with her about it literally two days ago.

Speaker 2 (05:33):
And then what did she say? She said, what does
she say when you brought that up?

Speaker 1 (05:39):
Well, first she goes, you spend too much money.

Speaker 3 (05:43):
You're spending too much because she found out some money
I've blent someone who needed it. You spend too much money, Nikki,
I'm more worried about that, like literally that kind of
tone out of nowhere. And then I was like, I
need you to know that I have people and looking
after me who trust very much to know that I
don't I literally don't spend a lot of money compared

(06:04):
to the other clients.

Speaker 1 (06:05):
Like I'm okay, And I said, Mom, this is the
amount I have.

Speaker 3 (06:10):
You need to google this amount of money and see
what people can do with that amount of money. Like
I literally was like, I just this is what I
needed to do, Like when you you don't know because
you're still living from a place of like I'm just
scraping by. So she's thinking I'm always scraping by and
that because I'm spending all this stuff on people's hotels
and flights or whatever it is, that I'm just like

(06:31):
hemorrhaging money constantly. And I was just like, you need
to look at what the spending habits of someone with
this amount can do, and you need to like relax
and just trust me. And she said, I will say
I sleep at night a little bit better because I
know that you know, no matter what, like because you
have been so generous that and I.

Speaker 1 (06:50):
Go, you should sleep all night.

Speaker 3 (06:51):
If you ever were in financial straits, I would bail
you out, like I have the ability to do that.
I am a single person with a big income, and
I I would take care of you.

Speaker 1 (07:00):
There's no question about it. You I want.

Speaker 3 (07:02):
That's the greatest gift. It's the reason I do this
is that I want you to live longer. So you're
so you get good sleep and you're not like my
mom's stress about money is like ruins her body, you
know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (07:15):
And it ruins everyone's body.

Speaker 3 (07:16):
So if you are putting your family through this when
you could bail them out, and you're making your sister
and brother in law or whatever it is, or your
or your best friend, and you have ten thousand dollars
laying around that you literally would not do anything. With
a good investment, you can even say pay me back
when you're able to get on your feet. But if
the person is not an addict or has psychosis, you're
a bad, bad family member. If you're not lending the money,

(07:39):
you literally suck. And I don't like you.

Speaker 4 (07:42):
There's I think there's some twisted backwards honor and being like,
well I earn this money and people it didn't all that. Yeah, cool,
think about that.

Speaker 1 (07:49):
They didn't.

Speaker 4 (07:50):
The salaries that people get for their jobs are random
and don't.

Speaker 1 (07:54):
Make it, thank you, Brian. They are random. It don't
make sense.

Speaker 4 (07:57):
An EMT who saves people's lives on the day gets
fifteen dollars an hour, and then the CEO of a
tech company that delivers you a Nestley Quick drink in
three minutes gets like seven hundred million dollars.

Speaker 1 (08:14):
And then I had fifty million dollar bonus.

Speaker 4 (08:16):
Yeah, and so like teachers are getting paid fifty thousand dollars.
If you have a cousin who is a teacher and
they don't have enough money and they're putting money out
of their pocket to buy their kids school supplies, and
you work at I don't know, a fucking oil company
for doing marketing for Sonoco from.

Speaker 3 (08:35):
Your dad, yeah, you didn't earn it, and I'm guessing
he and if he got it from his grandfather, neither
did he.

Speaker 1 (08:43):
So a lot.

Speaker 3 (08:44):
I have a friend whose parents are like hoarding a
bunch of money until they die.

Speaker 1 (08:48):
Then then they'll get the money.

Speaker 3 (08:50):
And my friend is like, well, you know, my dad
really believes in hard work and earning.

Speaker 1 (08:55):
And I go, he didn't earn it. He got it
from his dad.

Speaker 3 (08:58):
And she was like, whoa, oh, she didn't even, she
didn't even, she haven't even thought of it.

Speaker 1 (09:03):
I go, he's hoarding it until he dies.

Speaker 3 (09:05):
So he wants you to get this when you're seventy
because he's gonna live to ninety three, So he wants
you to get this money and he's not even. So
if you're someone who's like, I'm not gonna get my
kids money until I die, you don't want to see
them have fun with that money and like live a
better life because of it. You want to wait till
they're in their sixties or seventies. Purpose of it is?
What is the exactly what is the purpose of it?

(09:26):
And you're so right, Brian, like people people think. People
always say this to me, Nikki, you work so hard. Yes,
I do, but I do work as hard as other
people I see who don't earn as much as me. Okay,
I really see that all the time, and so I
don't I'll say, yes, I work hard, I'll let that in.
But the amount of money I make based on how
I work does not make sense based on other people's

(09:47):
incomes and how much they work. Let's talk about my
sister who has three kids and was working a full
time job until she quit teaching because it didn't bang enough.

Speaker 1 (09:54):
For how much she was working.

Speaker 3 (09:56):
Let's talk about that, like she moms are working so hard,
they're not getting paid literally anything, even by the government,
who should be paying them to have kids, because we
don't have people having kids anymore unless they you know, like, it's.

Speaker 4 (10:09):
That's Kamala Joe Biden and Kamala are trying to do that.
FYI either trying to increase the child tax credit.

Speaker 3 (10:15):
It's it's it's just like I just if you have
money and you don't like because my mom the other
day was like, Nikki, what you did for so and so,
you were just so generous And I wasn't trying to
be hero, but I was like, you have to stop
saying this because I don't. I know that it's technically
generous compared to other people, but I really believe everyone

(10:36):
should be doing exactly what I did in the circumstance.
If you had amount of money I had, and you
had a person in your life who you loved very much,
who needed money. It should not be generous to share
that money. I just and I wasn't trying to. It
sounded like I was being a martyr because I was like,
I really need you to stop using the word generous.

Speaker 1 (10:55):
I'm not generous.

Speaker 3 (10:55):
But I was like, no, this isn't coming from a
place of being like I'm just I'm just a kind person.

Speaker 1 (11:01):
It's just in me.

Speaker 3 (11:02):
I literally don't think it's I'm not I'm kind. In
many ways, this is not a kindness. This is literally
like I just you just do it because you are safe?
Can I so?

Speaker 2 (11:15):
I as a person who was on the receiving end
of it. A friend of mine when I was in college,
I was so broke. I was so stressed over money.
I couldn't pay my credit card bill. It was just
like mounting and mounting with interest charge. And my friend
just helped me pay it off and he never asked
for that money back. I did eventually pay him back,
but just to say, here, take that pay off your

(11:39):
bills so you can just breathe a little bit and
then just like not have to, oh like feel like
I owe my friend anything. Yeah, like, just like selfless
giving was what a relief.

Speaker 1 (11:50):
I can't even tell you. I remember when you're selfish
to me. I told my mom.

Speaker 3 (11:54):
I was like, honestly, I get off on it. Not
because I'm like I'm such a good person. I just
like that whoever can breathe easier when they're looking for
a new job, which they were scrambling to find one
and getting desperate and being like do I pay for.

Speaker 1 (12:11):
You know LinkedIn?

Speaker 3 (12:12):
Plus I don't really an't really afford it because I
can't I'm looking for a job. But like, I'm like,
how about you take this money that I don't even
care about and that I could spend on some lavish
vacation and you sleep at night. What a great gift
to give someone. And it doesn't make me feel I
just don't. I don't think it should be about general.
It's not like I should be. My Mom's just like

(12:34):
not a lot of people would do that, and I'm like, well,
that's what's wrong with the world.

Speaker 1 (12:38):
Maybe I'm just lead.

Speaker 3 (12:39):
I just feel like, I just think if you tried
it out people out there who have a lot of money,
and you just gave a little bit to people who
don't ask you know, I'm not If people are begging
you for money over and over, that gets annoying. And
I do have some people on my dms that listen
to the podcast that beg for money, and I get it,
and I probably would do the same thing. I can't
help out strangers. It does have a limit, and sometimes

(13:01):
I do. Sometimes it's like it you give to charities, yes,
I give a lot, but I'm just talking about people
in your close life, who you care about, whose happiness
honestly impacts your own life. Why wouldn't you make their
life easier? They're more fun to be around. So last night,
I'll tell you what happened last night at dinner because
I just couldn't.

Speaker 1 (13:19):
I like, I talked to Chris and I was like,
we need to have.

Speaker 3 (13:21):
A talk with my mom at dinner because of what
she just texted me before this.

Speaker 1 (13:24):
Dinner and had money. We'll be back up for this.

Speaker 3 (13:28):
So, like an hour before dinner, my mom was like
texting me, Nikki, I'm looking at this menu. She suggested
the restaurant right because I said I had been there before,
like weeks ago or something, and she was like what
She was like, let's celebrate Golden Globe. So it's her
idea to go out and celebrate, and I go, yeah,
let's go to dinner.

Speaker 1 (13:45):
Why don't we go.

Speaker 3 (13:46):
To this Louis place, which I love, This place called
Louis in Saint Louis.

Speaker 1 (13:49):
Louis and Demunt and.

Speaker 3 (13:52):
Chris and I had been there like a week ago
with h his brother, and I was like, Yes, I
can't wait to eat there again. They're so nice and
it's like so delicious. It's a little out, not even
a little I mean, I honestly think the decibel range
in that place is on the verge of like the
waiters and waite staff and the people who work at Louis.
It is the best food I've had in Saint Louis,
the best service, so delicious, so much care. Honestly the

(14:15):
best meal you'll have in Saint Louis that I've found.
But the loudness, I'm worried for everyone's ear drums in
that place.

Speaker 1 (14:21):
It is so loud. I don't know how you guys
are gonna fix it. I love you so much, Louis.

Speaker 3 (14:26):
There's music in the background that's like a you can
hear like a bass, but it's just like people are
screaming in there, scream.

Speaker 4 (14:33):
Took people out of the restaurant and put them in
your living room, it would be insane.

Speaker 1 (14:37):
Yeah, you'd go, what is going on?

Speaker 3 (14:38):
Are all these people deaf? Because they're all just screaming
at each other? You really have to scream. And so
because I don't know what, I really can't find the
source of it. But if you work at Louis, I'd
love to like help you. I'm not gonna help, but
i'd love.

Speaker 4 (14:51):
To want to give them money.

Speaker 3 (14:53):
Takes territory to get them like foam for the walls
so I can have a better dining experience. I will,
But I have a funny thing about Louis too, by
the way that I want to say, I think I
want to say, I'm kind of embarrassed by it. But anyway,
going back, So my mom goes, this is an hour
before dinner, Nikki, I'm looking at this menu.

Speaker 1 (15:12):
What can you even eat here? And I go, Mom,
I've been there before.

Speaker 3 (15:15):
I get a pizza with no cheese, and I just
ask them to dump every vegetable they have besides olives
on the pizza, extra red sauce, and then I eat
like probably one piece of pizza minus the crust, because
I'm not huge on carbs because I grew up in
the early two thousands, and it just gives me anxiety.

Speaker 1 (15:32):
And then I eat all of the toppings off the pizza.
This is who I am. That's what you're gonna see
from me.

Speaker 3 (15:37):
Sometimes I'll stack the loose pizzas so it doesn't look
like just an empty pizza.

Speaker 1 (15:41):
But they don't judge me for it. There they just
collect the plates. They don't go, whoa, what is this?

Speaker 3 (15:45):
They don't like make me feel bad about my weird
eating habits.

Speaker 4 (15:47):
I also get the broccolan.

Speaker 3 (15:51):
I literally could like mock me to my face screaming
and I wouldn't hear.

Speaker 1 (15:54):
I almost. I usually bring my.

Speaker 3 (15:58):
My uh you know, tailor swift ear things, which, by
the way, in Europe they gave you free ones. At
I think it was Zurich, they handed up free ear
plugs and it was such a nice thing to do.
If you're going to concerts and not using your plugs,
you're you're fucking insane or Louis so I So that's

(16:19):
what I got, And so my mom was just.

Speaker 1 (16:20):
Like, what are you gonna eat?

Speaker 3 (16:22):
We all know my mom, love my mom, and I go, Mom,
I got it. I get vegan stuff there all the time.
They know me, and they'll they'll they'll take care of me.
They like adapt things. There's sows, and there's tons of
stuff on the menu, tons of budgies, and so she goes, Oh,
and I'm looking at these prices, NICKI.

Speaker 1 (16:38):
I what did I say? I can't. I want to
read this to you, guys.

Speaker 4 (16:41):
I want to know what the prices are too, because
my perception of prices. Go ahead, you tell me.

Speaker 1 (16:48):
What you think the prices are that my mom said.
She goes, she goes Nikki.

Speaker 3 (16:56):
I only suggested that place because he's yeah, because you
said that the food was so good. I've never been there,
but I feel bad that it's so expensive.

Speaker 1 (17:07):
What do you what do you think of entre?

Speaker 3 (17:09):
Is there?

Speaker 4 (17:10):
Like it's a fish entree. I would say it's probably
like forty six dollars.

Speaker 1 (17:15):
I'm guessing it's around that.

Speaker 2 (17:17):
I was gonna guess, like, maybe, well not fish, but
let's say like an entre that Julia would would be
like eighteen dollars.

Speaker 3 (17:24):
Yeah, honestly, I think it's let's look at it, because
I really want.

Speaker 4 (17:29):
To for her to be a gas, so a pizza.

Speaker 3 (17:32):
Is twenty around twenty three dollars. A main entre is
the beef tender loins forty five. But we're really in
the range from twenty three to.

Speaker 2 (17:39):
What about pasta? Do they have a pasta dish?

Speaker 1 (17:41):
Yeah, a pasta is going to be twenty three dollars.

Speaker 4 (17:44):
That'say. A hamburger at McDonald's in la is twenty three dollars.

Speaker 3 (17:48):
Yeah, exactly. But my mom is used to like my mom,
doesn't my mom is? She goes, don't you call me cheap?
I'm frugal, and I go I hate that. I don't
like that word either, Like that word's almost worse.

Speaker 1 (18:00):
I go, you archie, So she goes, So she goes,
I go, I go.

Speaker 4 (18:07):
She goes.

Speaker 3 (18:07):
I've never been there, but I feel so bad that
it's so expensive. I said, you should feel really bad.
She goes, I know you don't care about that, and
I go, no, I'm serious. This is the first time
I've ever been mad about something like this. But I'm
really pissed off that you suggested a restaurant.

Speaker 1 (18:20):
I go to a lot.

Speaker 3 (18:21):
You and Dad can split a water in an app.
But that's it. I'm gonna have to talk to my
financial guy and move some stuff around if you also
want to split an entre, but we can maybe make
it happen.

Speaker 2 (18:29):
And she wait, wait, hold on, she is her reaction like,
finally Nikki gets it.

Speaker 3 (18:35):
At first, I was like, maybe she's gonna take me
seriously when I go you should be mad.

Speaker 1 (18:39):
But the thing is, she knows We've been through this
a million times.

Speaker 3 (18:42):
I'm almost I've told Chris it's at the point where
I feel like it's just something. She feels like she
knows that it's not too much for me, because she
also just told me I should buy a two point
five million dollar house. She was like encouraging that, So
why would you encourage that and then go this place
for a twenty three dollars pasta?

Speaker 1 (18:59):
Is too much?

Speaker 3 (19:00):
Like, so it doesn't fit with what she's It doesn't
align with what she's.

Speaker 4 (19:04):
Already telling in the core of her being. Yes, like
ingrained in her since childhood that those prices look, especially
restaurant prices for some reason, specifically going out to eat
is such an extravagance for boomers.

Speaker 1 (19:17):
Yeah, yes, it totally is.

Speaker 3 (19:18):
And and Chris even noted something at dinner because I
go Mom, I need to talk to you about something
like we we can't do this these theatrics before I
spent something anymore, Like if I say I'm gonna spend something,
I don't want any kind of pushback on it. I
think the best way to acknowledge that it's a lot
of money and that you can't believe it's so much
money is to just thank me afterwards and say, wow,

(19:39):
that was such a good meal. Thank you so much.
It's so cool we get to experience things like this
because we have a daughter who takes us out like
that makes me feel.

Speaker 1 (19:47):
Better than going nicky.

Speaker 3 (19:49):
No, you can't, because what that says to me is
that I'm I'm doing something bad with my money, that
I'm being stupid, that I'm a putts, that I'm a
that you are tricking me somehow, and just like that,
I'm That doesn't feel good to always feel like you
are spending beyond your means.

Speaker 1 (20:08):
And then you have to love.

Speaker 4 (20:08):
The word theatrics. Have to watch a little play every
time you want to every time.

Speaker 3 (20:13):
No, Nikki, you can't for that, I'm not I'll just
drink from the tap.

Speaker 1 (20:19):
I'm not doing that. That for a water.

Speaker 3 (20:21):
No, And I'm just like I can't. Yes, and it's
just and it's Chris made a point. He's like, you, Julie,
you felt it was tacky for you to suggest a
place that is what you didn't know was so expensive,
and you wanted Nikki to know that it was not you,
like you didn't know it was these prides, like you
would never tell Nikki to buy something that was expensive, Chris,

(20:42):
And so it was really nice that he like advocated
for her position in that. And she was like, yes,
that's exactly how I felt.

Speaker 1 (20:47):
And I understand that.

Speaker 3 (20:48):
And I also am my, my, you know, mother's daughter,
and I get upset about you know, uber canceling and
charging me ten dollars or whatever, and I'll.

Speaker 1 (20:58):
Go why did they do that?

Speaker 3 (21:00):
Like that's ten dollars I just wasted, And Chris will
be like, what is going on? Why are you freaking
out about this? Because it's it's money. Is just makes
people crazy. So I understand it.

Speaker 4 (21:08):
But there's a boomer thing that every I think every
boomer does. I went on a road trip with my
dad who's a boomer, and for for hours, for days,
every single time we passed a gas station sign, he
would go that's a dollar cheaper. Here, that's two dollars
more expensive. Here, Oh, look at that. We should pull

(21:30):
if we have a full tank of gas, you'd be like,
we should pull over. That's fifty cents cheaper. And it's like,
we don't need to point out every single gas station
price that every we.

Speaker 3 (21:38):
Grew up with parents who were in the Great Depression?
Is that what happened? And that's how it trickled down
to them being obsessive.

Speaker 4 (21:45):
About No, the grandparents were in the Great.

Speaker 1 (21:47):
Depression, right, their grandparents?

Speaker 4 (21:50):
No, maybe it was their parents.

Speaker 3 (21:51):
I think it's their parents were like at these kids
during the depression.

Speaker 1 (21:54):
Yeah, and so it trickled down.

Speaker 4 (21:56):
But they were born in the fifties. Their parents parents
were born in yeah, the twenties. So yeah.

Speaker 3 (22:03):
I will say though that the other day Emily, my
social media girl, who is just teaching me honestly, everyone
needs to get young friends because I am so much younger.

Speaker 1 (22:13):
Because first of all, I listen to last culture resas it's.

Speaker 3 (22:15):
Making me feel younger because they're younger, and Emily is
twenty five, I think okay, and she is just she's
so smart and well, like I can I can hang
with her because she is mature for her age, you know,
like I have some young friends who are just like
seem like they'd be in their late thirties because of
how smart they are and stuff. But she still is
like a youthfulness to her that makes me feel hip

(22:38):
because she like teaches me things. Like even yesterday, like
Least culture ysays, you know, they asked me to be
on there to present on their show because I begged
them to, And then I wrote back screaming, and I
sent it to Emily to be like, look I used
to screaming because she will always say like screaming, oh
my god, uh hyperventilating, like she'll just say it but.

Speaker 1 (22:58):
Like with a period, you know.

Speaker 3 (23:00):
And another one I learned the other day is I'm
sitting like someone if someone's like expecting like I want,
like I'm like, oh my god, I'm about to tell
you this good news, like this big news. People go
I'm sitting, I'm seated.

Speaker 1 (23:12):
I'm seated. Sorry I'm seated.

Speaker 3 (23:14):
To anyone who was like I'm sitting, I'm seated, and
I go, what does I'm because I sent Emily a
screenshot that someone had said I'm seated that we were
on a text group chain and I go and he's
a younger guy, Jonah from my PR team. I go, Emily,
what does I'm seated mean? And she was like, oh,
it means, like I go, is that a gen Z term?

Speaker 1 (23:33):
Have you heard that? She was.

Speaker 3 (23:34):
I was like, maybe he just made it up, because
that can happen too, and she said, no, that it
means like, Okay, I'm ready, like I'm sitting here with popcorn,
I'm ready for the show to begin. Tell me what's happening,
like I'm seated, which is a great phrase. Let's all
use it, like, let's not mock gen Z for the phrases.

Speaker 1 (23:48):
It's honestly so much fun.

Speaker 3 (23:50):
And then I go, maybe though I'm seated is in
reference to when before you tell someone something crazy, you
go are you sitting down? And someone go, I'm seated.
So we were like, it's maybe a mixture of those.

Speaker 2 (24:02):
But Emily, wait, hold on, I think I know the
appeal of that because it gets ahead of it. So
instead of like you telling them to sit down there
getting ahead of it, it's forward to dating.

Speaker 3 (24:12):
And again, like I said, with these gen Z terms,
it like gives you more, It allows for more, more
thoughtful context of the conversation is fun.

Speaker 4 (24:23):
I'm not I love seated. I'm just I'm just not
confused by this term at all. I don't understand even why.

Speaker 3 (24:29):
Okay, if you were in a conversation with someone where
it was like, okay, you guys, you got to see
this picture. You guys, I'm about to send you this picture,
you're gonna freak out, and someone just goes, I'm seated
in all caps. Wouldn't you be a little bit like,
what is that? You would totally not think that's a
weird thing to say, or something like you would just
know that that.

Speaker 4 (24:47):
I mean, there's plenty of terms where I would have this.

Speaker 3 (24:50):
Well, it wasn't like I was confused. I just wondered
if he made it up, like I understood what it meant.
He's waiting for the thing. I didn't know if it
was something that other people were saying. And I like
that it is because I'm gonna start using it.

Speaker 4 (25:01):
I do have to say, I I am. I do
appreciate gen Z speak. I think I love it. They're
pretty cool. After watching a bunch of like youtubeer gen
z YouTubers who just have their like monologue videos out there,
which is like the most popular YouTube videos. Now, yeah,
I'm like, these guys are funny and they are cool.

Speaker 1 (25:19):
It's they're so cool.

Speaker 3 (25:21):
They are so cool and I don't know, they're just
like more emotionally advanced. So they've got that going for them,
which we really didn't even though they still have immaturities
about them because they are had less life. But Emily
the other day was I was complaining about some cost
of something.

Speaker 1 (25:38):
What was it?

Speaker 3 (25:39):
Oh, she videotaped me and Target, like getting new makeup
because last weekend I totally forgot my makeup bag. So
we went to Target and I was like making like
an emergency makeup bag, even though like all my makeup
is like Elf products and Wet and Wild and like,
in fact, I left my I accidently was using Emily's
makeup bag and I had my Wet and Wild foundation,

(26:01):
which Wet and Wild is like the cheapest brand, Brian.
It's literally like for a foundation, it's five dollars, and
foundations that like that I should be using as a
celebrity are probably like ninety dollars.

Speaker 1 (26:10):
Like that's how it's less than McDonald's.

Speaker 3 (26:13):
If that's even a possibility of like what makeup would
be yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, So it's a costco uh Glizzy,
So I aren't they a dollar?

Speaker 1 (26:26):
So I left it and she.

Speaker 3 (26:28):
Goes, nicky, I'm dead or so whatever. She sent me
a picture of her Wet and Wild that I left
in her makeup bag once she got home, and I
was like, it's good it Actually, I go, Bethany Frankel
likes it too, because I saw Bethany Frankel doing drug
store makeup reviews and I was like, she's on the
Wet and Wild train too. It's like it has like
a shine in it, and I just like it. And
I feel like all makeup is like trash for your
face anyway. None of it's regulated by the FDA, like

(26:50):
it's it's literally they don't they don't test it, like
they don'ticulous. It's I don't even know what they're testing
on animals if they're not checking to make sure it
doesn't like kill us and dump things into our the
biggest organ in our body, which is our skin.

Speaker 1 (27:04):
It's insane.

Speaker 3 (27:05):
But she was like, I'm dead, you're using this and
I go, it's honestly so good and then she put it.

Speaker 1 (27:10):
I go try it and she was like, I'm well,
she said, you know.

Speaker 4 (27:14):
She was just like, just give me who is this person?
How did you meet them?

Speaker 3 (27:18):
She is my social media yeah, and she's just like
blown up my TikTok. She just like helps me feel
She is like she's like my cheerleader. She like noticed
one day I was down and she sent me these
voice memos about.

Speaker 4 (27:33):
Like, I just want to let you know that.

Speaker 3 (27:35):
And I realized recently that you like voice memos maybe
more than text. But I just need you to know
that the reason like you, She was like, I had
a goal when I first started working that I wanted
to work with Nicky Glazer, and I am now working
for Nicky Glazer, and it is it is a dream job.
Not only is it so much fun, but I am
getting to grow so much, I'm learning so much. I'm

(27:57):
having the best time. Like it was so and she
was like, and you are a queen. You don't realize it.
I don't think you understand your worth. But she was
like talk because she was staring a hotel, like we
were at the same hotel and she was like the
wall next to me and Chris, and she sent it
over and I.

Speaker 1 (28:12):
Go, Chris, I just got it. I left.

Speaker 3 (28:14):
She was like maybe like leaving the job because she
said a really long voice memo and I was like,
what's this gonna be?

Speaker 1 (28:19):
And Chris and I are just listening into a bed
and she's just like talking like this. She's like, seriously, you.

Speaker 3 (28:23):
It's it was the nicest thing I've ever gotten. And
I'm like, this girl loves me so much. I love
her so much. She believes in me. I like trust
her because I think she's really cool, and like if
she thinks I'm cool, it just is very validating when
like a young person thinks you're so cool.

Speaker 4 (28:36):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 3 (28:36):
But she goes Nikki Nicole Glazer Wet and Wild Foundation.
I said, I like it. Bethany Frankel does too. She goes, okay,
maybe I'll try it. I said, do it. She goes okay, period,
but I think she accidentally sent period, you know, like
she was talking, and she goes okay. So I tried
it and look stunning. And then I go, it's good.
It's probably full of bad shit, but what is it?
And she goes one hundred pee. That's the new thing too.

(28:58):
People say a hundred pe. They don't say one hundred
percent or saying one hundred.

Speaker 4 (29:01):
Pece sign does already the percent sign?

Speaker 1 (29:04):
No, no percent sign, just one hundred pe o.

Speaker 4 (29:06):
It's not cool anymore.

Speaker 1 (29:07):
No, well, I think that's just it just works to
say one.

Speaker 4 (29:10):
Hundred p And when she said stunning, she was question
mark yes.

Speaker 1 (29:14):
She's like I look stunning. Like she's like, you know,
so she's cool.

Speaker 3 (29:18):
But she was like, so she fills me for this
target run and I see a nine dollars lip gloss
and I'm like, fuck that. And I like threw back
and I'm like that's bullshit, and I was like, she
sent me the clip of it. She was like, I'm dying.
This is so funny that you like got so mad
at this nine dollars because I was gonna get it
and I go nine dollars, fuck that, and they were
like kids around and I was kind I'm like, oh,
I'm sorry, and I was like, oh, that's my mom

(29:38):
coming out of me for sure, Like I'm not being
nine dollars for fucking lip gloss. And she was like, Nikki,
you get Starbucks twice a day and each nine dollars.

Speaker 1 (29:45):
And she was like, and you.

Speaker 3 (29:46):
Demolish it within one minute. I'm like, you're so right
that lip gloss was worth it. So it's all perspective,
like does.

Speaker 4 (29:53):
She talk like this in real life or is it
just overtext.

Speaker 1 (29:58):
A little bit? Both?

Speaker 3 (29:59):
Like she it's it's she definitely does talk like a
gen z or, but it doesn't make her seem less
intelligent or like trying to be cool.

Speaker 1 (30:09):
It's just like one hundred oh yeah, it's like, yeah,
we'll get it done.

Speaker 4 (30:17):
What did you do today?

Speaker 1 (30:19):
Okay, you know, like we'll get it done.

Speaker 3 (30:21):
I mean like yeah, she talks like like I go to.

Speaker 4 (30:24):
The I go up to you. You're her, and I go,
what do you think of this shirt? What do you
think of this shirt? I'm thinking about buying?

Speaker 1 (30:30):
I mean it's cute. I mean, I mean I think
that one's better.

Speaker 3 (30:35):
Like she would she was She's honest with me, but
she's like she'd be like, okay, it's like giving tortured
poets like she she would use its giving. I mean
like and then she would reference something like a like
some kind of person like someone who's She's like, oh yeah,
like so and so aware stuff like that, who's so

(30:56):
that I'd have to google the person and find out.

Speaker 2 (31:00):
As like a motivational coach that you're carrying around with you.

Speaker 3 (31:03):
This is also positive all the time. I love having
her around and she's like, yeah, girl, we'll get it.
Like she's just like and she won't accept extra money
for coming out on the road with me. She's like, oh,
I already get paid to work for you, like you pay.
I pay a company that like employs her. And she's
like and I'm like, okay, I need to pay you extra,
like you're giving me your weekend, you know, I pay
for a flight and hotel. But She's like, the day

(31:25):
that I ever accept a Venmo from you is the day,
like we are not working together anymore. And I'm like,
I don't even know what that means, but okay.

Speaker 1 (31:33):
But I'm gonna. But she's just like she's this weekends.

Speaker 3 (31:37):
Yeah she's request but she's just so sweet and she's
so positive and like, yeah, she just everyone. I think
everyone could really use an Emily in their life. I
didn't know I needed one so desperately until she came
into it. Of just like a young person that kind
of looks up to you and things. I didn't even
know she was like a fan of mine, Like I
was just on a call with someone who she was

(31:58):
on a zoom call, you know. I found out about
this the company she works for, up High, through my
management company. They have another probably client who works with them,
and so they were like, let's set up a meeting
for you to talk to them about what they can
do for your social media and what you need from them.

Speaker 1 (32:14):
And she was just on that.

Speaker 3 (32:15):
She was just a girl on a box and a
zoom call, and I was like, Oh, she's really nice.
But I didn't know that she had written down when
she first started working for up High. They asked her, like,
with your dream client, and she wrote Nikki Glazer, like
I didn't know like.

Speaker 1 (32:28):
That is, and that I didn't know any of that.

Speaker 3 (32:31):
So it was really cute that she's like kind of
revealed it quietly along the way of like what I
mean to her. It kind of feels like how I'd
probably do a Taylor Swift thing, even though Taylor Swift
is well aware at this if she isn't she's not
paying attention like that. I'm a huge fan, But if
I was to be in her orbit, I would probably
just do what she needed to do help her in
the way she needed and not like inject any of

(32:52):
my fandom until it was time to be like in
all seriousness, like you mean a lot, you know what
I mean, Like she did a.

Speaker 4 (32:58):
Try, what job do you think you could realistically be
hired for it? And if you're worry, banter.

Speaker 3 (33:05):
Banter, Yeah, for her to go on talk shows punching
up stories she tells or you know, she doesn't need
the help by any means, but like even like you know,
things she says in between songs, like I thought of
a funny thing for Taylor to say after Like there's
a part in at the aristour when everyone's holding up

(33:26):
their phones and doing like, you know, the lights, like
we don't have lighters anymore, which, by the way, that
would have back in the seventies when everyone did that
with lighters and nineties and early two thousands, wouldn't your
fingers start like burning and melting off? Like that would
be really hard to hold for a whole song. So
I like that we use like her flashlights, so we
all do that during Marjorie. We're all like this with
our flashlights. Yeah, it's the new firework, right, drones, And

(33:50):
so we're doing this the whole song, and then afterwards.

Speaker 1 (33:52):
She's like, you guys, are so sweet.

Speaker 3 (33:55):
You all held up your phones and like, I just
think it would be a funny thing to be, like,
you risked wasting your battery life for me, for me
to have that a special moment with a song, because
we're really doing it for her because it looks so
pretty for her to look out and she's singing about
her grandmother, who were all kind of like paying homage
to in this beautiful song about her grandmother who's passed away,
and her grandmother's voice is singing throughout because it's in

(34:17):
the song and so it's like echoing through it, and
she gets teary ed sometimes. Swifties at one point all
came together to hold a picture of her up for
Taylor to like look at because we're like they were
like trying to get her to cry, and I think
Taylor appreciated it even that, Like she's really sweet. But
I just was like, oh, I could punch up some stuff.
I mean, honestly, I could just offer her sincere like,

(34:40):
oh my god, you look so fucking good right now,
Like this is the greatest look you've ever had. Holy shit,
you just killed that performance. Like she doesn't need any
more of that in her life. But a sincere person
to do exactly what Emily does for me, which is
like that was exceptional what you just did, or you
look so good in that, or like, you know, I've
had famous friends before where they're constantly hearing all the compliments,

(35:04):
and you try to give them a compliment that really
means something. And I've always said this, like people think
that famous people are always getting complimented, so sometimes they
never get complimented because everyone's like, oh, they've already heard
how great they were on this thing. But I would,
you know, when I used to be friends with Jaylaw,
I would like text her like, oh my god, you
killed it on fallin that was so funny when you
said blah blah blah, Like I would give her a

(35:25):
list kind of of things she.

Speaker 1 (35:26):
Said because I was just like she might people just.

Speaker 3 (35:29):
Might assume she already knows how great she is, because
why wouldn't she She's Jaylaw. But like I would just
try to find a way to yeah, just like because
I know that I always still like to hear great
show when I do have a great show, you know,
not when it's just like cursory. I mean, I still
want to hear it because when I don't hear it.
I'm like, it must have been the worst thing ever.
But like I know my team when I've had a

(35:50):
really good show afterwards, they'll be like, holy shit, that
was great, like and it means something to me to
hear that every single time. And I always tell the
story when I talk about this of Chris Rock at
the Comedy Cellar. He had just gotten off stage and
I was in the stairwell and he was walking by
and he had just murdered right, like did so well

(36:11):
And this was probably twenty seventeen or something, and uh,
he gets off, he's walking up the stairs, and I'm like,
I should say good job, because that was really good,
but like he doesn't need to fucking hear it from me.
And then I just was like, wait a second, Nikki,
when have you Will you ever reach a point where
you don't want to hear a good job after set,
especially from a comic who's like judging you from the stairwell,

(36:32):
And so I just go that was a killer set,
and he just goes thanks, And he looked at me
almost like who knows I'm projecting onto it, But it
seemed to me that he appreciated it, and was kind
of like, I'm gonna walk by this person. They're not
gonna just say what acknowledge what just happened, because it's
kind of like when you walk out of the comedy
cellar room, it's like wow, and then you walk in

(36:53):
the hallway and everyone no one's clapping in the hallway
because we're all just comics like waiting, and it's kind.

Speaker 1 (36:57):
Of like awkward to like clasp.

Speaker 3 (36:58):
So it just seems like weird to walk out of
that and then walk by someone who's just like says nothing.
I mean, Brian, We've been comedians who like have walked
off stage and people don't say good.

Speaker 1 (37:08):
Job, And when you haven't done a good job, it.

Speaker 3 (37:11):
Really feels hard when no one can when people go
how were they? That's the classic, like every comedian knows
you bombed. If a comedian watched your you know they
at least saw the last minute of your set, which
was rough, because you didn't.

Speaker 4 (37:27):
Now they're just worried about their set because they saw
how terrible the end of your set.

Speaker 3 (37:30):
Oh, I think that's interesting. I think they just want
to be like, did you think that went well? Like
they need to say something because they can't say nothing,
so they go out.

Speaker 1 (37:38):
Did you like them?

Speaker 4 (37:39):
I'd rather someone go rough night because it really night
acknowledges that, like, I know you're the atmosphere. Yeah, I
know you're a good comedian. I know that you're funny.
That was just I'm not going to particuld, Like if
someone's tiptoeing around maybe upsetting you because they said that
that was a bad set, and that means they really
think you. You're bad enough that that it's something that

(38:01):
would bother you.

Speaker 1 (38:02):
See.

Speaker 3 (38:02):
I just think we're all fragile enough, no matter how
good we are, to never want to acknowledge a bad set.

Speaker 1 (38:06):
But I've I've had some, you know, bad sets.

Speaker 3 (38:09):
Like if it was you coming off stage and you
had a bad set, I would literally know it was
because the audience sucked, like I think we we've I've
had some openers that have just had not good sets
because the audience is too drunk. They don't respect the
opener because they're there to see me. They don't understand
how a comedy show runs. They just talk through their
whole set. They're drunk, they're getting drinks, and the person

(38:32):
just can't get the plane off the ground because no
one's listening, So how.

Speaker 1 (38:36):
The fuck are you supposed to get a laugh? So
it's just the whole time, it's a struggle.

Speaker 3 (38:39):
And I've had some you know, openers walk off like
a little shell shocked, and I always just say to them,
I fucking hate them, like it that's that's just like
I fucking hated them, Like it's because it's.

Speaker 1 (38:50):
Not about you. It's very nice, but it's true.

Speaker 3 (38:52):
It's like, yes, sometimes I do think that it's kind
of always I always actually think it's on me, Like
even if the crowd is I mean, there's been some
crowds that are just insane that you're just like I
don't even want them to like me, but it kind
of is always on us to win them over. We're performers,
like that's part of the skill. Like you can't always
blame the audience. I am not a comedian who will
ever really lash out in an audience if they don't laugh,

(39:14):
Like that's one of my biggest pet peeves is like
when a comedian doesn't get a joke or like doesn't
get a laugh and they go like oh, or you offended,
Like they act like the crowd did it get it?
Or is offended by it, yeah, And then sometimes it
happens so often that they just add it to their
act to say that afterwards. And then sometimes it'll get

(39:37):
a laugh and they'll say, well do you offend it?
And you go, oh, this just started working for you
because it did it for months clearly.

Speaker 1 (39:44):
Because you have such a reaction.

Speaker 3 (39:45):
But like getting mad at a crowd for like not
getting you is it always to me is not a
good luck. And I'm someone who always will take blame
almost too much, I think, to a fault.

Speaker 1 (40:01):
But I do think it's that's part of our job.

Speaker 4 (40:03):
I think it's joke per joke. I mean, to me,
the opener's job is to make sure that they are
laughing by the time you get off stage. So if
you start off and they're and they're tight, yeah, as
long as they're ready to go for the headliner, Yeah,
then that's fine. You did your job, even if your
set was was torturous.

Speaker 1 (40:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (40:19):
But like that for me, so if they if the
audience just seems like tired or stoned or like not
paying attention, then I will be like, what's going on?
That's like, what's wrong with you? Like wake up? Like
I would I do that? Sometimes, Yes, just and kind
it kind of like sabotages my own set so that

(40:40):
they wake up a little bit for the next person.

Speaker 3 (40:42):
Well, that's really nice of you, because you're doing the
job of an opener. But I think that you're right
in calling it out sometimes because it sometimes they need
that like kind of substitute teacher energy of like the
substitute teacher just like stops talking because the class is
so rowdy, and then everyone gets quiet because they're like, oh,
she's mad at you know, like it's like the only
way to get inten and is to either snap and
be like what's going like to break the fourth wall

(41:05):
a little bit even though it's kind of already broken
when you have a live audience.

Speaker 4 (41:08):
But okay, oh sorry, really send it. No, I don't
even view it as like something I do as a
comedian or as an opener. I do it in real
life if if I if I say something and I
don't get the response I want, then I'll I will
do that in real life. I'll go, how did you
not think that this was? Like that's just my personality?

(41:28):
Also just like cool?

Speaker 1 (41:32):
Did you right back to it?

Speaker 4 (41:34):
No?

Speaker 3 (41:34):
No?

Speaker 4 (41:34):
I no, okay, so maybe it's not you but no,
in real life, it is not overtext.

Speaker 3 (41:40):
Right, all right, cool, all right, we'll be by for this.

Speaker 4 (41:49):
All right. So I have a twist for you in
the theft in airports saga that you talk about frequently
on this podcast.

Speaker 1 (41:58):
Yeah, I'm seated, let's hear it's okay.

Speaker 4 (42:01):
So there has been a rash. You're gonna be incredibly
disappointed by the end of this, but there was. There's
been a rash of thefts at an airline terminals over
the last year, and governments don't know what to do
about it. Cities don't know what.

Speaker 3 (42:15):
To do aboutside the air pertinal, past past tsa well
or at baggage all.

Speaker 4 (42:22):
The So I was looking at this article. It's like,
I can't wait to send this to Nikki because there's
all these thefts happening. They don't know what to do.
Everyone's bags are being stolen. And then I look it
up and it's like all of them even think they qualify,
and all the articles they're like, all of these thefts
are happening at baggage claim. Yes, I'm people, so.

Speaker 2 (42:38):
It doesn't happen even more often, Yes, it.

Speaker 4 (42:41):
Thinks about it like you're just you're not there.

Speaker 1 (42:43):
Yet it's almost like.

Speaker 4 (42:46):
In there, please steal me fit yes, and anyone.

Speaker 3 (42:50):
Can go in there, And it just feels like the
why criminals haven't figured out this sooner is like how
I feel about why we didn't figure out putting wheels
on luggage sooner?

Speaker 2 (42:59):
Like it's like it's right there, guys. Do they not
want to pay for parking? Maybe, but it's worth it.
There's treasures in every luggage.

Speaker 1 (43:07):
Every luggage there's treasures or medications or.

Speaker 3 (43:10):
Something you can get high on. And also we were
talking about wheels on luggage. Remember, you know, like there
were wheel and luggage until like the early nineties, I
think maybe late nineties that became ubiquitous, but then.

Speaker 1 (43:22):
Even even but.

Speaker 3 (43:24):
But we all go, how did we not think about
wheels on fucking luggage? Like we've been carrying around luggage
for decades now, like maybe almost centuries, just carrying this
like wooden handle that you've got. And then but wait
a second, but then also for two decades, we were
doing two wheels four wheels until like ten years ago,

(43:48):
and now every luggage is four wheels, and four wheels,
if you don't know, is so.

Speaker 4 (43:51):
Much better than two whey and it's been so much.

Speaker 3 (43:54):
Better, and so it's like, what it could be next
that we are not seeing that is right in front
of us.

Speaker 1 (44:00):
What's six wheels? What's that gonna mean? What were you
gonna say, Brian.

Speaker 4 (44:04):
Well, I just want to using wheels. I think about luggage.
I think about the people in the you know, fifties
and below who could afford to have luggage. We're rich
enough to have servants to carry the.

Speaker 1 (44:17):
Load them and they didn't care what the see.

Speaker 3 (44:20):
I would have been a rich person being like the
servants are going to break their back. Like I really
can't stand when I get a car service and it's
an old person. I'm like the Larry David episode when
it's like a woman and he's like, I don't want this.

Speaker 1 (44:31):
I really am like this is bullshit.

Speaker 3 (44:33):
I want like a big man who looks at my
seventy pound suitcase and is like this is nothing and
just hurls it in with one hand.

Speaker 1 (44:39):
And is not hurting his back like that. That's kind
of what I want.

Speaker 3 (44:42):
I'm sorry, I'm sexist, and I'm sizest again for an age.
I guess I am able ablest probably in terms of
like their bone density. I like I don't, But I
don't want to hold this thing either, Like I'm I'm
packing it this way knowing that it's going to get
a heavy tag and that people who are in the
back recesses of the airport or have back support scraps

(45:04):
on I hope.

Speaker 4 (45:06):
I don't.

Speaker 3 (45:07):
Don't even like it when the Southwest woman has to
hurl it onto that little thing. I'm like, you pull
these these people are beating up their bodies and they're
at the ticketing counter and they don't.

Speaker 4 (45:14):
Have any type of baies.

Speaker 3 (45:16):
Oh it's it's a shout out to you guys at
the ticket encounter on anyone who deals with baggage. It's
it's fucked. But you're so right about that, Brian, Like
no one gave a fuck.

Speaker 4 (45:23):
Back in the early twentieth century or the mid twentieth century,
they even had trunks instead of oh insane, like a
rich debutante would show up at the dock with a
bunch of trunks.

Speaker 3 (45:36):
And a briefcase. I mean, men were carrying around briefcases themselves.
Why not put a strap on it because it was gay?
Do you think it looked too much like a purse?

Speaker 1 (45:44):
Ye? Women did.

Speaker 3 (45:46):
But even women didn't have, like, you know, what's it
called crossbody bags?

Speaker 1 (45:50):
Like, yeah, you've just had our bosoms? Yeah? Yeah, we
either hurl those around, should put a wheel on them.

Speaker 4 (45:55):
When I was in college, I used to use a
messenger bag instead of a backpack. Remember the messenger bag.

Speaker 3 (46:01):
Yeah, yeah, that's interesting. I don't know. Yeah, I think
you can bring it back. Uh, fanny packs on the
new purse though. I see so many girls with my
same purse that every day.

Speaker 2 (46:18):
Yes, he's on the fanny pack train.

Speaker 1 (46:22):
Does he wear it around his waist or does he.

Speaker 2 (46:24):
Wear it right under his belly?

Speaker 3 (46:26):
God?

Speaker 2 (46:26):
This stuff and his cargo.

Speaker 1 (46:28):
Uh, it's so convenient, it's amazing.

Speaker 4 (46:31):
It's so much better than pockets.

Speaker 3 (46:33):
Proud of So, I wanted to talk about a thing
that I did for One of my favorite things to
read is the things like items I can't live without.
What is the name of the title? The title of it?
I'm sorry, Yes, it's by the Strategy. The Strategist is
one of my favorite websites. By the way, it's by

(46:54):
the New York magazine, and it's a it's for consumers,
people who buy a lot of ship It's like it's
for everyone because if you want the if you want
actual reviews of things that aren't paid, unless they kind
of sometimes you can tell when they're paid.

Speaker 1 (47:07):
I think they even have to say they're paid.

Speaker 3 (47:09):
But generally these are just people who are hired that
have great taste in literally everything, and they get people
to review different things and try out every kind of
Queason art or every kind of yoga matt like. If
you are looking for a product type in the go
to the Strategist website and they will have like a
listicle of like which ones are the best, with links

(47:29):
and everything, and so final thought, one of my favorite
things that the Strategist does. This website, offshoot of New
York Magazine, is called Celebrity Shopping, and it's what blah
blah blah can't live without. And they do a different
celebrity every week, and honestly, I have bought probably thousands
of dollars worth of stuff from this, and I'm rarely

(47:50):
disappointed because I do feel like they the people who
interview you for this, do a really good job of
getting you to pick products.

Speaker 1 (47:56):
You can tell when celebrities.

Speaker 3 (47:57):
Have phoned it in, and it's like the whole thing
they talk about is just like whatever lotion company their
best friend started and it's like eight hundred dollars a jar,
or it's like they're trying. They're like, uh, they do
like a meditation book that they read one they're trying
to seem smart. A lot of them talk about journals
and pens they like and like quill pens, and you're like,

(48:17):
you're trying, You're trying to get laid through this list. Y.
So my list I always want to share because I
put a gigantic amount of thought into it, because I
am a fan of this thing.

Speaker 1 (48:30):
And so when I got interviewed.

Speaker 3 (48:32):
By by Jordan McMahon McMahon Mayhon McMahon, he was like, wow,
I He even noted, like I haven't seen someone, I
haven't interviewed someone to put this much thought into it.
I was like, because I'm a staying and it's like
I picked things that I needed.

Speaker 1 (48:53):
I didn't want to.

Speaker 3 (48:54):
I made it sure that I didn't want anyone to
think I looked cool, Like none of these products were
picked so that you would think I was something that
I wasn't. And by the way, my list was way
longer the first one I gave, and I took things
off that I did.

Speaker 1 (49:06):
I checked my ego and.

Speaker 3 (49:07):
I'm like, you're putting this on to seem like cool
because you're worried who might see it. But these are
just things I think everyone should have, not everyone, but
most people. First of all, My Halo's sleep iyemask, by
the way, they gave the wrong link at first, and
there was a picture of one that looked like a
Migraine helmet, and I was like, people are buying the
wrong mask because of me. It's the first thing on
my list. Switch out that photo right away. So it's
my favorite sleep mask by far. My Halo's sleep by Mask.

(49:31):
It's ten dollars on Amazon. I literally buy probably twenty
of them a year because I lose them on planes
and stuff. They are the best imask. I recommend them.
They are cooling. I don't know how they do it.
They have a cool Is that the one I turn around? Yep, No,
that's pretty close to it. I think that's probably yeah, yeah,

(49:51):
that's yeah. Yeah, that's when I met.

Speaker 4 (49:53):
Every day and now I can't sleep without it. God
damn it.

Speaker 3 (49:55):
It truly like you said yesterday, it makes you a
little bit like, it makes you like I can't sweep
without my face mask, okay. And then the thing I've
always talked about on the show before, in case you're
new to it, it's the Ordinary.

Speaker 1 (50:09):
It's by the ordinary. It's ten dollars.

Speaker 3 (50:11):
It is my favorite serum that I use on my
face every single day. I've used can't believe you put
that out there ten years. I know, I was like
keeping it for a while.

Speaker 1 (50:18):
You know what I have.

Speaker 3 (50:19):
I have other ways to get this stuff because it's
just one hundred percent plant squalling. And by the way,
everyone's putting it in their shit now, squaling is like
the new thing that people put in their skincare lines.
It's so cheap, you guys, just get one hundred percent
plant drives squaling the ordinary ten dollars. I use it
on everything. It's just moisturizing without being oily. But it
goes on like an oil. It's slick, it absorbs great.

(50:41):
You can put it on the morning and your moisturized
the rest of the day. I'm not kidding you girls.
You if you if you say moisturized all day off
of whatever serum you're using, because I use I've used
every fucking serum in the book, tell me what that is.
Because hyaluronic guesses. It's not going to keep you moisturized.
No creams keep you moisturized all day, all.

Speaker 1 (51:01):
Through the night.

Speaker 3 (51:02):
They always you always, they absorb quickly and then you
gotta put something else on.

Speaker 1 (51:06):
This keeps you moisturized all day.

Speaker 3 (51:07):
Can't literally would that's my number one product I can't
live without, and I would put it above Starbucks. And
I didn't put Starbucks on this list because you know
everyone already knows. Then there is a eyeliner that I
found when I was traveling in Europe for my tour.

Speaker 1 (51:23):
So the only eyeliner you use. It's a pen.

Speaker 3 (51:24):
It's like if you want to do a perfect wing,
it just gives you the blackest line. It's five dollars.
I mean, I'm not even meaning to be give you
bargains here. It's by Caligraph C A L L I
g R A pH pro Precise twenty four hour waterproof
matt liner. Holy shit, it's so good. It's five dollars
on Amazon or no at Katrese. Well, you can find

(51:46):
it anywhere, but it takes a little while to ship
to you sometimes because it's back order and it's from Europe.
The next thing I can't say enough good things about this.
The Boan Oak karaoke microphone. Okay it is I got.
It's a karaoke microphone sent to me because years ago,
because I was doing some kind of thing for I
think Glamour magazine where I got products that were like

(52:09):
really high end products, and then they gave me the
low end version, like the ripoff one, and I had
to see which one I thought was better, and maybe
I liked the cheaper one for a karaoke mike, absolutely not.
You got to go with the Bow and Oak. It's
one hundred and twenty dollars bo na Oka karaoke microphone.
It has a built in speaker like a Bose Mini
speaker that you would like use in your house, but

(52:30):
it's on the microphone and so when you sing into it,
you have amazing acoustic like amazing sound. It is like
your own little amplifier next to your microphone. And so
if you are someone who likes singing or likes karaoke,
they are essential. If you have kids that like performing,
it just it's it's just a it's an AMP system

(52:51):
in your hand and it's awesome and it does effects
on your voice so you can sound way better, and
I've talked about it on the podcast before. It used
to be one of our singers where I go careke mode.
But it's amazing. Skipping ahead, the NEWLYXI dual folding cell phone.

Speaker 2 (53:06):
Stand, Okay that I'm I'm buying that.

Speaker 3 (53:09):
Dude, Noah, buy three of them because you'll lose they
They are so compact they fold up. It's just a
little phone stand, so like when you're needing or something,
you just like it stays sturdy, it's got great movement.
It's just a well engineered phone stand. It is the
one of the best thing engineered things I've ever seen.

Speaker 1 (53:26):
It's so simplid. Sometimes I'm like.

Speaker 3 (53:30):
Eating oatmeal and I want to like be on my
phone and I want to read something or look at something,
but I don't want to hold my phone.

Speaker 1 (53:36):
I want my.

Speaker 3 (53:36):
Phone perched up so that it's reading and I can
just scroll with one hand. We're watching, or if I'm
doing an Instagram live, I can purchase it and then
talk or filming something hands free.

Speaker 4 (53:45):
I get that. Or if you're watching a YouTube video
making a smoothie or something.

Speaker 1 (53:49):
Absolutely, oh my god, Brian, you will die. It's so
they're so.

Speaker 4 (53:53):
One hundred P one hundred pet dead, I'm.

Speaker 3 (53:54):
Dead, one hundred pe You're seated, you're screaming.

Speaker 2 (54:00):
I love because there are so many of them that
I got overwhelmed trying to figure out which fucking iPhone
stands a by. So thank you Nikki Glazer for putting
that on your list. So right, Noah, it is.

Speaker 3 (54:11):
So.

Speaker 1 (54:12):
This is also like dogbeds.

Speaker 3 (54:13):
If anyone has a great little dog dog bed to recommend,
I am overwhelmed at the options, and I have it, like.

Speaker 4 (54:19):
I mean, everyone has it. We already know what it is.
Let me look it up. I just literally bought another
one for my dog because my old one was like
looking a little ratty. So I was like, let's get
you a new one. Every dog loves this bed. They
cannot get enough of it. I'll get up right now.

Speaker 1 (54:36):
I'll keep going.

Speaker 3 (54:37):
So, by the way, that phone stand was called the
New LIXI n U l A x Y. It's on
Amazon fifteen dollars. I put in a guitar, a baby
tailor guitar, because it's four hundred fifty dollars. That's a
little bit of a price point. But if you're buying
a guitar and you want to learn. It's small. You
can figure out how to learn. I was just trying
to encourage people to pick up guitar later in life
and you could travel with it.

Speaker 1 (54:58):
And if it gets like beat.

Speaker 3 (54:59):
Up on the plane and they make you check it,
like it's not the biggest, Like it's not like a
you know, two thousand dollars guitar that you're like, it's
the neck broke. It's four and fifty dollars. It sounds
great and you can travel everywhere with it.

Speaker 1 (55:10):
I just thought was good.

Speaker 3 (55:12):
This one I've kind of backed away from, but I
do believe when I do use it, it's amazing. Red
light therapy apparently, is like it takes years to actually
start showing, Like the red light therapy mask you wear,
like whatever the LED masks, the thing they're doing to
your face won't show up for a year. Like so
whatever college in their building has to take a year
to build. So you'll never see direct results from this

(55:33):
stuff right away.

Speaker 1 (55:35):
And that makes me discouraged.

Speaker 3 (55:36):
To use it because I've bought I spent thousands of
dollars on red light masks and different things, and I
just don't use them. But the solo wave four and
one Red Light Therapy Starter Kit. It's like this little
wand and it vibrates and it has a red light
on it, which is like whatever, who cares. But the
vibration and just the gliding on your face. You could
do it with the squalane. It's so relaxing. It definitely
d puffs because the slight vibration and it feels so

(56:00):
good and you feel like you're Haley Bieber. After you
use it, you're just like glowing and you feel like
you just did something good for yourself.

Speaker 1 (56:04):
It's mindful.

Speaker 3 (56:05):
You can just sit there with your new phone on
your new Lexei stand and just do it gently across
your face.

Speaker 1 (56:10):
And it's two hundred and sixty two dollars.

Speaker 3 (56:12):
But I really do think it's awesome and works really
well and I like it. And then there's a charcoal
deodorant that makes you smell like nothing, and I think
I've talked about it on the podcast before, but it's
called Purely Great Charcoal Deodorant. You stir it up and
if you literally don't want to smell for like a day,
swab this stuff on your pits.

Speaker 1 (56:30):
It's natural, it's charcoal.

Speaker 3 (56:32):
You do have to stir it up, and it does
come with a little stick like the stick you know
that you get to in those cheese crackers, the red stick.

Speaker 1 (56:39):
It's literally exactly.

Speaker 3 (56:40):
That stick, but it's white and you stir it up
and it's almost like that same cheese consistency, but it's
like chalk and water that you got to stir and.

Speaker 1 (56:47):
Then you get it too, that cheese consistency.

Speaker 3 (56:48):
You put it in your pit, you close your pit,
and you just like get take the little stick out
and you just like kind of and then you just
mush your pits together like this and you will not
smell for days if you don't want to, literally zero cent.
It's wild, Chris, and I can't stop talking about it.
I don't use it every day because it's kind of
the pain in the ass with the ladle and stuff

(57:09):
and you got to stir it and sometimes in a rush.

Speaker 1 (57:11):
But it's called purely great.

Speaker 3 (57:12):
And if you want a natural deodorant that honestly does
not make you stink, And if you've heard intrusive thoughts episodes,
I have problems with natural deodorant and sticking stinking. I've
had that in my past, and so I had to
go back to like the aluminum kind. But this has
made it so I can when I want to have
a natural geodorant and not smell at all. We don't

(57:32):
even understand how it works, because Chris has tried every
natural geodorant. We all know they don't work like they
work kind of, but this one actually does works. It's
purely great. It's thirteen dollars on Amazon. Okay, what is
the dogbed?

Speaker 4 (57:44):
The dogbed is twenty four dollars and thirty cents on Amazon.

Speaker 1 (57:49):
Okay, I'm getting it right now.

Speaker 4 (57:51):
Best Friends by Sherry, the original, the original calming donut,
and it comes in many different colors. And I'm telling you,
my dog can get enough of this thing. This.

Speaker 1 (58:02):
I tried to order this last night, Brian, but it's
back ordered.

Speaker 4 (58:06):
I mean, everybody knows it's the best bed. I mean
I see other people when I go. Sometimes I'm on
Instagram and I see someone else's dog in that bed,
and I'm like, you know, you know that that's the
best bet.

Speaker 3 (58:15):
Okay, I'm getting the Tope shag oh okay, fifteen ninety nine.
Actually yeah, it's I needed this bed this week and
it was back ordered till Tuesday's September third. But I'm
getting it anyway, because you know what, she should have
two beds, and it's the best one, and we'll see
which one she chooses.

Speaker 4 (58:29):
I also have a good harness recommendation if anyone's looking
for her. If your dog slips out of its harness,
gets out.

Speaker 3 (58:34):
Of it, will if I put a harness on it,
she freezes and won't move.

Speaker 1 (58:38):
She literally can't like.

Speaker 3 (58:40):
And then I'll pull her and she'll slap market, but
then she'll freeze again. She can't understand that her body
my cat does battle.

Speaker 4 (58:47):
This will fix that. But this harness is you cannot
get out of this harness. I tried like ten different
harnesses with Jack when I first got him, and he
slipped out of all of them except for this one.

Speaker 3 (58:56):
Slip out of a harness that goes around your legs
like pants.

Speaker 4 (59:00):
He pulled it backwards. He's so small, and he pulls
backwards and then it slips his neck out going in,
and you're like, and sometimes you're pulling to like come
with me. And he pulled the other way and then
he lifts his leg and gets out. He's got called
the new harness is called well, this is the harness
I've had for him for now like six years. It's
called Roughware. Are you f f W E a feeling? Okay, yeah,

(59:23):
do you know the rough wear?

Speaker 1 (59:24):
No I just had. When you said rough I was like, oh,
oh yeah.

Speaker 4 (59:27):
No, they're going to do that now on Amazon it
says currently unavailable.

Speaker 3 (59:31):
See that's what I'm saying this the ship sells out.
I'm a little I'm worried about chewe I've I've always
had a great They're so amazing, customer service is great.
Oh the dog has a name, by the way, named
Hepially yesterday next week seated.

Speaker 4 (59:48):
Okay, it's seated, is going to go?

Speaker 1 (59:51):
Are you guys? Seated? For the name? Everyone seed seated,
get seated.

Speaker 2 (59:55):
Cromation point Goldie and it's golden globes.

Speaker 3 (59:59):
Didn't hurt this name, but it was like, oh, that's
a sign we should go for that, because it's kind
of like funny that that happened in my life around
the time I got her.

Speaker 1 (01:00:08):
And it sounds like girly, which.

Speaker 3 (01:00:10):
Which is what we've been calling her, but we weren't
like sure of that, and she is golden and our
pet sitter told us she's just a golden dog, like
she's a gold she is, like she's just got golden energy.
And she said that like a month ago, and we
were like.

Speaker 1 (01:00:24):
Oh, that's kind of funny. Maybe we should call her Goldie.

Speaker 3 (01:00:26):
So we were flirting with it, and then the Golden
Globes and then and then yeah, Matt Green, my brother
in law, yesterday texted our group chat like congrats on
Goldie and I was like, oh, wait, I go, this
is her name. I go, that's what we're naming the dog.
And so Chris agreed last night, so it's official Goldie.

Speaker 4 (01:00:43):
Yeah, yeah, Goldie.

Speaker 1 (01:00:45):
Yes, such a cute night, like she's a golden girl.
We love her.

Speaker 3 (01:00:49):
Thank you guys for listening to the podcast this week.
I hope you enjoyed the extra episode.

Speaker 1 (01:00:53):
We'll be back next week. I am in North Dakota
this week.

Speaker 3 (01:00:55):
If you are near there's there's people up there. I
think I'm there on Saturday at a casino, but check
my website. I don't know exactly the new Town North
Dakota's where I'm going Newtown, North Dakota.

Speaker 1 (01:01:08):
Hope you to see some of you there.

Speaker 3 (01:01:10):
I don't know who's going to be there. I've never
been to North Dakota. I've never performed in North Dakota.
We'll see how it goes.

Speaker 1 (01:01:15):
I can't wait.

Speaker 3 (01:01:16):
Lots stordades available Nicki Glazer dot com. Love you guys,
K bye. The Nicki Glazer Podcast is a production by
Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeart Podcasts. Created and
hosted by me Nicki Glazer, co hosted by Brian Frangie,
Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Hans Sonny and Noah Avior
edited it engineered by Lean and Loaf, video production Mark Canton,

(01:01:39):
and music by Anya Marina. You can now watch full
episodes of the Nicki Glazer Podcast on YouTube, follow at
Nicki Glazer Pod and subscribe to our channel

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}#467 Nikki's Tirade, 'I'm Seated' & The Pup Has A Name!