Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
The nick A Gliser Podcastiser.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Here's Nikky. Hello, here, I am welcome to the show.
It's any Glazer Podcast. Feeling anxious at the start of
the show all of a sudden and related to everything
that's happening in the world, but just a million things
that weren't election related just piled in during the theme
song and then on top of the election mountain. It
(00:30):
was like I built up a landfill of anxiety.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
But if you're listening to this right now, you may
know the outcome.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Oh yeah, but that you are in the future right now,
how is it going? There? Is is everything? Okay, let's
just talk to people in the future, like given both circumstances,
because because let's like give like like a message to
the future, because it's gonna be us too. We need it.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Okay. So one Jill Stein wins.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Everything's gonna be okay. Yeah, okay, So let's start. I
always when I choose best case scenary or worst case scenario,
or someone says I have bad news, I have good news.
You always want the bad news.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
First, right, Yeah, Well, whenever someone says I have bad
news and good news, I think that's horseship because the
bad news.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Yeah, and no, no, no, the bad news. Oh, you're right.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
They're always like I have good If they're gonna be
playful about the presentation, it's not gonna be like your
uncle has cancer. It's gonna be something.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
That's really funny. You need to write that down. That's
like a good bit. Yeah, playful about the presentation is
a really funny way to present that. Because I think
that's so that's so true. You know they're gonna say
you need to sit Are you sitting down?
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Are you sitting down?
Speaker 2 (01:46):
That's but that's because gen Z is ruined that because
now they're like seated and like, so now it's like
are you sitting down like I? And someone might said,
say your uncle is dead, and soone'll be like, why
is he like amazed at something? He like was so
happy about something. He died. No, he's actually dead. And
they're like, I don't believe you. He is so slagh No,
someone slayed him in a brutal killing last night. He's
(02:10):
dead period. Okay, worst case scenario, Trump is our is
going to be our president again.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
Trump's president and the hold on.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
I can't breathe. Julie, okay, Julia is not okay, right now.
Julie need like I might fly her to New York
tomorrow if the news goes that way, because she will
need like a Actually that wouldn't be good because she'd
be on a plane by herself. She needs to be
around loved ones. I gave her Goldie for the weekend.
(02:44):
Oh thanks Nick, thanks for that, is what she'd say.
Uh no, my mom is watching Goldie for the weekend.
But I need a comfort animal. Last night, I spent
the night at my parents' house because I just didn't
want to be alone on election Eve. And I literally
almost was like, can I pull out the gymnastics mat
under your bed and leap on the floor like I
used to in eighth grade?
Speaker 3 (03:01):
I know it's still there, mystical sounding.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Yeah, it's a lot. Well, it feels like I want
to be close to loved ones. Okay, so if he wants,
I don't. I can't. I honestly don't even want to
talk about it because it might manifest it, right what
about Okay?
Speaker 3 (03:17):
Okay, we don't want to manifest Okay, so let's just
get your people.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Sorry that you're on your own, kid, but like, no
one from the past has any wisdom for you. Of
how to handle this. It's just going to be one
foot in front of the other. Start meditating immediately. Zachary
Levi told me at that party to start meditating and
that it was urgent, and he was not wrong whether
it went one way than the other.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
I mean, Zachary.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Quinto sorry Levi. I wish Zachary Levi was trying to
get me to join scientology. He was trying to get
me to a stress test or whatever he's into. No,
I think he's a Christian, a hardcore Christian, which same difference.
You know.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
That it's all we're all part of a or another.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Exactly, I'm a swift.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
We just want to follow a narcissist. Is that so hard?
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Is it's always wrong to have a weak human brain
that is susceptible to brainwashing? Is that so bad? Because
I was listening to Mark Cuban on Sam Harris's podcast
and he's like, the way the algorithm is, they just
target you if they think you're susceptible to falling for this,
and and maybe I'm susceptible to it too. That's the
(04:30):
problem is like when your brainwashed, you don't really know
you're being brainwashed, right, Like otherwise you get out of it.
So I admit I could be brainwashed about things too,
but they just if they've proven, like we're mice, that
if you put information in front of people long enough,
in enough times, and they see it in different ways.
Presented in a comedy sketch, presented in a serious ted
(04:53):
talk like thing, presented like a guy in his car talking,
you know, to the camera, is presented in a song
like the message will get through.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
The first message always wins too. Really, Yeah, generally it's
much easier to give someone a new opinion than to
shake an already existing opinion. So basically it was like
a race to start.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Oh, because it's kind of like whatever your parents are,
you are. And I think of that too, Like I
just think about some of my family that's maybe voting
a different way than I am, and I go, man,
I just got born to the right sibling in that family,
like if I was born to it for me, or
at least I think that because I'm in it right,
Like I go, oh, my god, so lucky my mom. Yeah, yeah,
(05:39):
I mean they feel the same way. I was sitting
next to people at Starbucks today, this group of old
men who I'm sure were voting the other way. I'm
sure of it. I went away from them as soon
as I realized my airbuds weren't working, because I was
going to put in my AirPods and just blast white
noise so I didn't have to hear them hear their
white noise, and so because I was just like, I
(06:00):
just don't want to be mad at my fellow man today.
I want to come from a loving hoos. But then
my AirPods didn't work, so I just switched tables and
I didn't do it frantically. I didn't do it like
I don't want to hear about Trump, and you you know,
like I did it calmly, like I don't want them
to know which side I'm on. But then my computer
was on a grotesque picture of Trump with like an
article about him, So I did I did, like believe
(06:21):
my laptop open, like facing them as I moved. I
was like, okay, I'm just gonna I'm gonna backlash in
this way.
Speaker 3 (06:28):
But so you don't like Trump?
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Of course?
Speaker 3 (06:31):
Not are you endorsing Kama officially?
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Do I have to say that?
Speaker 3 (06:36):
Like?
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Why are people we know what side everyone's on? I
think it's so annoying when someone yes, of course I'm
endorsing Kamala, and I'm so embarrassed that it's after the yeah,
after the fact. But of course I mean, like, I
don't want to get so I I don't. I I'm
honestly scared to say how I feel about Trump because
(06:56):
of what the future might hold, you know, Like I
was reading about the dictator that took over in Bangladesh
and if you had any if there was any dissenting
opinion towards her during her campaign or like before like uh,
or if your dad said something or went to a march,
you were disappeared. You were taken and put in an
underground prison for many since twenty thirteen. And then when
(07:19):
she was taken, when she was released, they all they
all went or they took over and there was a coup.
I guess that's a word for it. They all undisappeared,
these people because they were all still around, because they
didn't kill them, because they tortured them to the point
where they almost died, and they would stay alive. It's
like the worst imaginable thing would happen to these people
that all they did was go to a march. Yeah,
so I'm a little scared.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
I mean, it probably won't come down to that, because
why couldn't it. I mean, I'm not saying it couldn't,
I'm saying it probably won't.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Don't you think if that person could have everyone that's
ever said anything mean about them put away, they would
That's always my question to people. Well, I think he would.
Speaker 3 (08:01):
No, he's he he's a very forgiving man.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Oh no, he's a very manipulated man and a.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
Very you could you if you just switch sides and say,
actually I was wrong, I love you. I will not
put you in jail.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
That's actually a good news, because I will flip so
fucking fast to save my head. I will.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
I'm not flipped. I'm in the middle anyway. I mean
I'm not obviously am not.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Uh you know, when I am being led to the
gallows and he's there, I'll be like, you're hot. Yeah,
you're fucking hot. I want you to know you're the
hottest man that's ever lived. That's what I'll say first. Okay,
this is my plan. I just want to say you're
so fucking hot. And but it won't matter if I'm
not young enough, and it already doesn't. I have like
three days where he would care what my opinion is
(08:44):
of him, because you have to say a hot woman, Yeah,
so what should you? What should we do as people?
He doesn't want to fuck when we're heading.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
To people, he doesn't want to fuck we say, I mean,
he's we were wrong. He was. He's so everything he
said was right. He's he he's the best president that
ever lived. He's better than Lincoln. He's so smart and
such a great business man. And I am support him.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Okay, Do I like that he's wait because he's not
really forgiving, Like he's not like liking he's not liking
you more or like seeing that you have humanity where
you aired and now you're learning the like he's not
having empathy towards your position. He's just that isn't forgiveness right,
what he's doing.
Speaker 3 (09:27):
I mean, it's a well in the true sense of
the word truth. Well, I mean in the true sense
more like deep down inside, if there was the capability.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Between like hearing someone out and going like, wow, I
was really angry at you, and like I see where
you're coming from, and I understand that you have changed
your mind, and I want to like, I want to
forgive you and I. It's like a selfless thing almost.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
It's outcome based forgiveness. I think it's it's like I
I want this outcome, and it's almost like I don't
care what you do. It's almost like ultimate forgiveness because
you don't care what the person did at all, as
long as they get to the spot where you want
them to be and you're there.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
That would be true that I wouldn't have to lie.
I could say, you're funny.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
He's very funny the president.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
You did it, you did it.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
I don't. The other thing about him is he's only
angry when he loses and doesn't get his way. When
he wins and he's on top and he's not being.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Sounds like Forest, my nephew. It's literally is that you
give him what he wants and he likes you, and
if you don't, he'll cry and scream right away. Yes, yes,
but you can easily get him back by giving him
back the candy.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
He will stop crying on a time, that's right.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
So that's why I don't think he's gonna send you
to the gulags. If he wins and he's in charge
and he gets to do whatever he wants. He's gonna
be God. As long as we're going to be building
new Trump towers, he's going to be making deals with international.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Oh you don't think he will have vengeance? Okay, that's interesting.
Speaker 3 (11:00):
I think a little bit better. He'll have vengeance against
a few people. Maybe maybe he'll have vengeance against just
a couple of high profile people who betrayed him specifically.
But I don't think he's going to throw people in
the gulags.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
I don't think he's My life won't change that much.
I don't think not in Missouri, no matter what happens
to me.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
What do you mean, Well, it's already a red state.
You're already have you know I'm not.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Needing an abortion. I mean me personally, Yeah, okay, you
me personally. I don't like I don't like going hiking,
so I don't really care that nature keeps going. I'm
literally only worried about other people and animals and the
planet and the future.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
Like I'll be Okay, Well that's a big problem because
what you personally, I guess it doesn't they be Most
conservatives on the extreme don't believe in climate change, and
if you listen to Trump's Joe Rogan interview, where he
did come across as a very likable man if you
actually listen to what he was saying. A lot of
what he was saying is that he wants to remove
(12:06):
the EPA so that corporations can build buildings without any regulations. Right,
That's what he was saying.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
So I surprise anyone, and people go, he won't do
that about deportation, everything he says, because it's so wild,
they go, he won't do it. He said he was
gonna hand RFK Junior Health, like, uh what he gave
a list of things. It was. It was a ton
of stuff he's going to hand over him. Consider vaccines,
yeah to RFK and inegs and everything. But I I'm
(12:37):
gonna be in charge of that liquid gold. That's what
he said. And everyone cheers. It's like, but don't you worry.
I'll stay in charge of the liquid gold. Like okay,
so you just want oil, Like what are you talking about?
Speaker 3 (12:48):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Anyway, I I just think that I really wish more
people weren't just looking out for themselves because if I was,
I wouldn't even care, you know, And I think that,
like it doesn't matter to me either, way, like I'm
not gonna get benefits from me like I feel personally,
but I'm looking up for other women and other animal
(13:12):
like for animals and just overall people.
Speaker 3 (13:15):
Well, you're gonna you would benefit in fact, as a
quote unquot rich. Sure a person, you're gonna get a
tax break.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
I in everybody should a little bit. Nos, I don't
give a fuck about that. I like paying taxes. I
don't care like I'm blessed to be even rich, and like,
yes they should.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
Capital gains tax. Nick, you're gonna be cr You're gonna
have so much.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Money, When no, that's only for people with one hundred
million and more. I heard I heard today.
Speaker 4 (13:44):
She doesn't really have any investments like a house or
anything for capital gains.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
But you have income, and your income tax is going
to go down because you are in that bracket. And
then you're also, by the way, you're also a corporation.
You are incorporated, are you not? You're not a person,
you're your company, and therefore you're gonna pay even less
taxes because of that.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
You're going I should be paying more than anyone. Well,
it really is true.
Speaker 4 (14:12):
If you're started trying to feel better, I feel like
we're making make you feel worse.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
No, no, no, I feel no, I feel I feel well.
Now I'm excited. If Trump wins, Okay, now I'm.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
Hot, and then she makes a million dollars.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
This is it. I'm gonna like if he wins, I'm
just gonna is it? Is it too much to just turn?
Speaker 3 (14:34):
Turn? No?
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Is it like for my If I'm really if we're
all looking out for number one, why wouldn't I just
turn and have a cozy life. But I can't because
I I can't. I'm just not there yet. I'm not
brain I'm not in brainwashed that way yet.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
You got to make enough money so that you can
start your own corporation that's respond environmentally responsible and hope
that the hope that the country wants to pay in
a capitalist way for environmentally responsible products.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
And you know they won't because I just heard Mark
Cubans say that we a lot of issues would be
solved if Americans would play pay a premium on USA
made things. But they don't and they never will, and
that is the problem. Everyone acts like USA made that
means something. If it meant something, he said, if people
cared that things were made in the USA, if Americans
cared about that, I would have so many companies here
(15:30):
making stuff. He was like, I'm interested in making money,
but they won't pay more, So you're.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
Just gonna look you to be honest. I'm going to
be totally honest. Shirts made in Bangladesh fit me better.
I don't know if I have when I'm at h
and M.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
I like my clothes to have a little struggle on them,
a little like resentment, and yeah, I just it makes
the well, you know what the truth is though everything
is made so shitty now. It's just everything. It's just
the quality of clothing is down, and there's no doubt
(16:09):
about it. Speaking of clothing, I am getting ready for
this trip that I have and I'm I'm like styling
myself for this Joan Rivers thing that Chris is producing
that I'm performing at at the Apollo on Thursday. And
I'm like, I'm just gonna style myself because I got
a cute dress that I really actually like and I'm like,
I'm just gonna do this, and then I fucking I
(16:31):
lost the dress, like I bought it three weeks ago,
or Brenna brought bought it for me. Actually, when she
went on a shopping spree to get me a bunch
of clothes when I don't know I travels, Yeah, in
my travels somewhere, So I'm frantically calling all the hotels
I was staying at just to get it back. Eventually,
I have to get a new I mean, I have
to just go buy a new dress for Thursday. But
that was a bummer and I was just But it's
(16:53):
also like in the scheme of things, who gives a shit?
It's fine, Like.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
It's nice to hear behind. That's so so important. Because
I left my laptop charger at Sofi Stadium and I
felt so stupid. I've never left my laptop charger anywhere.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
That's why. Okay, well, then you know what, you shouldn't
feel stupid because you were due and that's a normal
thing to happen, and it actually happens to people a
lot more than once. And like you've never had it,
so like, okay, it's like COVID. You lasted a really
long time. You're one of those people that never got it,
but it's gonna get you eventually.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
Yeah, you know, did you get your COVID vaccine this year?
Speaker 2 (17:31):
No?
Speaker 3 (17:32):
Are you not going to do it.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
I didn't even think too and I know I should,
but I'm too busy to get vaccinated.
Speaker 3 (17:39):
What about flu shot?
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Now?
Speaker 3 (17:43):
The last time you were you had.
Speaker 2 (17:44):
COVID December twenty twenty two.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
Oh wow, okay, so it's been a lot. I mean,
I don't know. I got mine. I got mine left
and right. I was knocked out for a day, I hope.
I mean with the vaccine, I'm now getting it just
every year with my flu shot. Is that wrong?
Speaker 2 (18:06):
No? No, I don't think it's wrong at all. No.
I think that's the right thing to do. I think
I should do that, but I just haven't because I
just am. I'm gonna say busy.
Speaker 3 (18:14):
But I like you traveling the world. You can be
getting every year.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
I thought I was getting sick yesterday in a class
or where was I somewhere where my throat. I was
just like, uh oh, it's catching up to me. And
I just fucking meditated that shit away.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Dude.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
I see I have a strong immune system. I I
just talked to it. I was like, you just hold on, girl,
you can come through. You can be my sickness can
come through on next Monday for a day. You'll get
twelve hours and then you can be sick, but you
I can't be sick right now. There's just it ain't
gonna it can't happen. It won't happen. And so I
(18:51):
just like talked to my throat feeling and was like,
we're gonna take care of you. We're gonna drink lots
of water, we're gonna get some good sleep tonight, and
then you need to like cool out and cool your
jets and be okay, and then it's gonna go. And
it hasn't bothered me today.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
Well, this might not be true, but isn't it true
that most symptoms you have are just there. It's not
like the disease gives you the symptoms. It's your body's
immune system fighting the disease that creates the symptoms. So
like a sore throat is not like is that true
or not? I don't know, no, I like that is
it the virus that's given you a sore throat or
(19:27):
is that your body is creating this sore throat to
fight off the virus. Like when you get a fever,
that's actually your immune system making the fever.
Speaker 2 (19:33):
That's not so awful, sneezing and coughing and congestion and
mucus is all caught. Those are responses to because mucus
is built as like a defense.
Speaker 3 (19:42):
Yeah. So if you could just tell your body, like,
don't bother fighting this virus, Yeah, then you won't get
the mucus. You'll die, but you won't get the mucus.
You won't get the coughing. Like what, why bother with
all of these symptoms.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
I'm telling you, it fucking has worked for me, and
I mind over matter with it. It just I just
trust that it works because it has before and so
now it just does. We gotta take a break, but
we'll be back after this. I like that Brian says
the mucus instead of mucus. I like that too.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
Yeah, I always say the mucus. It's like the Ohio.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
University musin ex commercials where you really saw it personified
those guys.
Speaker 3 (20:19):
I mean, guy, I love that guy, have his own show.
I tried to make a show kind of with a
guy like that as the star. He's a great guy.
He's like Fred Flintstone in a way.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
Or the guy from Dinosaurs, the dad from Dinosaur.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
Oh yeah, that short lived. I mean everyone loved Dinosaurs.
They got rid of it too soon, just like the
actual Dinosaurs that that show was really fucking sad at
the end show.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Yes, I thought a lot because I watched on Reddit.
It pops up probably like once a year about like
one of the most sad endings ever of a show
was Dinosaurs.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
And the Okay, so if you don't know dinosaurs, is
this like Jim Henson puppet life size, live action dinosaur
show that started a dinosaur family in prehistoric times. It
was kind of like the Flintstones, except instead of people,
it was dinosaurs being dinosaurs and the end of the
(21:14):
show the most comedy.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
It was a comedy and it followed family Matters.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
It where every episode.
Speaker 2 (21:23):
Was a fullhouse family matters Dinosaurs Dinosaurs.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
Ye.
Speaker 3 (21:27):
You might remember the baby who would say not the
mama and then hit the dad at the club.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
Yeah, it was cute. Wait what did you say? Wasn't it?
I'm the baby God to love me? That was another catchphrase.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
Yeah, he had. I used to have the baby as
a stuff down all and he would say those.
Speaker 2 (21:45):
Things I'm the baby, got to love me, yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:48):
Which is so true. Words I've never been said. So
the last episode of Dinosaurs a meteor is coming towards Earth,
and there's some sort of I don't know if it's
a meteor, but an environmental calamity is occurring that is
going to destroy the planet and wipe out all the
dinosaurs and the family, the sitcom family is just sitting
(22:08):
in their living room going like, so, we're all gonna die,
and even the kids are like, I'm not going to
get to grow up and enjoy my life. And they're like, yeah,
this sucks. We're all dead. And then it just fades
to black and it makes it even sadder.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
Dinosaurs are Okay.
Speaker 3 (22:29):
What makes it even sadder is that the reason why
the world is ending is something the dad did.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
Oh wait, I forgot this part of it.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
Like the dad supported some anti environmental company that wound
up like blowing volcanic ash into the sky which blocked
out the sun. It was his fault, and they're all
going to die. His whole family is going to die.
And they're just sitting there like in the Titanic when
the water's rising and the couple's in the bed. They're
just sitting there waiting for the world to end. And
(23:01):
that's the end of a sitcom.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
Well, that's how it's going to end for some group
of people that are on Earth together. There is a
massive section it will like just because you know, I'm
not even gonna say what I was gonna say because
it just gets me into rough territory. But like, but
it won't be us.
Speaker 3 (23:18):
We're not that special. That's that's we're not special.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
Enough to be the last I think we might be.
I mean, I think, I think, I think there's it's
I think it'll be a generation or two.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
This this podcast has been very we're very close and
very depressed. And imagine that people, But imagine if the
people listening to it are like Kamala one is talking about, oh.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
My god, Okay, hi guys, sorry, what a fucking like,
oh my god, she swept it. This is so exciting,
like everything that we maybe imagine has come true. I
just why can't I picture it at all? I can't.
I can't picture myself Like, but I think, I man,
(24:04):
it would be so it. You know what, Man, I'll
be so fucking happy. I didn't even think about like
how much it will make my life fucking great and
my mood and my like depression, Like it will actually
improve my life so much.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
Oh god, you know what's getting swept under the rug too.
This is this is really wild. If Kamala wins, she
would be the first woman president. And I feel like
about it.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
No, no, no, it's not that they don't give a
shit about it. It is not what she's been running with
because she knows much like on Veep I'll quote Selena
Meyer on VIEP where she they go, man, we think
you should put out a statement. There's some you know,
thing happens. And they said, we think as a woman.
She goes, No, not as a woman. I can't identify
as a woman. They can't know that men hate women
(24:57):
and women hate women, hate women, don't you think? And
most women do hate women? And she was and she goes,
and women who hate women hate women or something like that.
And then she asked to Amy. She's like, and most
women do hate women, don't you think? And Amy's like yeah,
and he was like, but I love it. She goes,
I can't. I they can't know that it's but that's true,
like Kamali. Well yeah, he was like or running. He said,
(25:25):
she needs to not get into this like first woman stuff.
It's gonna turn people off. And she fucking did it
at all. It's not talked about at all.
Speaker 3 (25:32):
Right now, she succeeded. I don't what.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
I don't think that she it's awesome.
Speaker 3 (25:39):
I don't think that she should lead with being the women,
being the first woman president. But the fact that, like
our society is not even really it's not even clocking
in my mind that she's a woman, that she could
be the first woman president. And that's that's how weird
the election is. When it was Hillary, I feel like
that was like no. Number one or two.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
This is designed to be this way.
Speaker 3 (25:59):
Yeah, it is.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
Hillary leaned into woman and it didn't fucking work. People
women were not that excited and they worked. I mean
some women were a lot of women were not everyone,
So they did they pivoted. It was a choice to
not lean into that. Why wouldn't you lean into that?
I mean it's the most obvious thing. Yeah, it's insane.
Then she's young and vibrant and gorgeous, like they didn't
(26:23):
lean into any like femininity, I don't think at all.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
Well, as soon as she announced or as soon as
she was selected as the nominee, the first attack from
the Trump campaign was DEI higher, So I think in
a way they helped because they had to thward off
that attack by pretending like that she's a clear uh
like silhouette Microsoft outlook without your profile picture inserted candidate.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
Wait, wait, what's DEEI?
Speaker 3 (26:53):
I always here this diversity, equity and inclusion, which is like
when companies have these policies that bring in people of
different diversity, diverse ethnic groups and stuff and hire them,
and then a lot of people say, well, those people
didn't deserve the jobs because they're less qualified, and they
just got them because of some DEI policy.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
And so when affirmative action we got rid of, they
changed the.
Speaker 3 (27:18):
DEI because people were Affirmative action became so such a
hot button phrase that a lot of the companies changed
to DEI okay.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
So you could have just said affirmative they okay, so
they re roll.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
It was a slight difference. I guess you could say,
like DEI is like a policy, and affirmative action is
like sometimes the government stepping in and filling up those quotas,
and sometimes it's the company with DEI is just like
a policy the company has where like it would be
nice if we created some situations where we would allow
(27:50):
diverse candidates to flourish, whereas affirmative action is like we're
going to put a black person here and force you
to have this person here, kind of like.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
It's a suggestion. Sh Diaz suggested.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
It was a little bit of a softer push that
had the same outcome, which is more diverse people. And
so but then obviously Fox News and stuff was like
DEI is evil and we hate it, and so when
Kamala was the nominee, they were like, she's a de
I higher. She doesn't deserve it, she's not qualified. The
reason because she's a woman and she's black.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Yeah, it didn't work. It didn't stick.
Speaker 3 (28:25):
I mean, it worked, it.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
Just tired out.
Speaker 3 (28:29):
She's still no. I mean, I think that's still part.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
Of some of the diaton, and I've never once looked
into it, so I'm sure that's what I was reading
and just not knowing what it was.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
She's not a DEI higher. I mean, she's pre eminently qualified.
She's you know, obviously been the vice president.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
Which is so fucking bubbly and acute and happy and
energetic and thriving. Like it's so cool to see someone
who's just showing up and like looks like they want
to be there. It's giving Obama first run, like like
just endless energy, the right energy. It just feels so good,
Like I just like her so much, and but it's
(29:10):
it doesn't even matter because it could be anyone to me.
Speaker 3 (29:13):
Right, but I've so much that it's her, Harris quote
you posted this morning, because I kind of feel that way.
I mean, I'm not like, if I could vote in
a primary and pick my ideal candidate, it would not
have been Kamala. I'm not like super excited specifically by Kamala.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
The positive hair case. The positive case for Harris is simple.
She will be a normal president, surrounded by normal experts
seeking normal political ends. The scientists she consults will be
real scientists, The doctors real doctors. Her administration will not
be a four chand thread come to life. Her foreign
policy will not be made in consultation with podcasters who
hawk goold Ivermectin, and Mrese. The notion of banning someone
(29:54):
someone some vaccines will not be will not receive serious consideration.
Grifters and lunatics like Alex she Owns, Tucker, Carlson, and
Kandas owns won't be shortlisted for weekends in the Lincoln bedroom.
The final stage of her campaign wasn't organized and funded
by an increasingly erratic billionaire who hallucinates about the strategic
replacement of white America, and she will owe him no
debt of gratitude. The positive case for Harris is easy
(30:16):
to make. She is a sane public servant who will
be committed to the rule of law and the betterment
of our society.
Speaker 3 (30:21):
Boom, Yeah, I like that because it's not saying like
Kamala is the ideal choice, as she is the best.
She's normal, right, She's just normal versus crazy and chaos.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
Yeah. So you know when I voted last week and
I met that woman who saved my life in that
line with this angel that just appeared behind me, and
just theras burred something affirmative to me. Yeah, the therapist. Okay,
So last night I went over to my parents' house
for emotional support and we were sitting at the dinner
(30:54):
table and my dad was talking and my mom got
a text and like interrupted him, and that turned into
a kind of a fight because she interrupts him all
the time. And I said, I go, Dad, and he goes.
She does it over time, and I go either get
used to it or get out. I go, it's not
going to change. We know she does it. It's like,
I just that's what I say to my parents so much.
I'm just like, stop with the same complaints. Either accept
(31:15):
it or divorce and they're not going to do divorce,
or just accept it that she just doesn't. She's gonna
interrupt you. Chris accepts it about me. I interrupt him
all that. You guys accept it about me. I'm an interrupter,
and I know it's rude, and I do want to
work on it. And but if I had to hear
that back to me all my life, I would just
I couldn't. What did you say?
Speaker 3 (31:36):
I said?
Speaker 2 (31:36):
I like that you're the interrupter. It's a cool little
title there, the interrupt It's like, it's such a rude
thing to be, but I do it a lot.
Speaker 3 (31:45):
Well. It helps with writing because frequently you're like a
couple of steps ahead, and so like if I throw
out like a premise or something, and I'm like, yo,
what if then you just let you interrupt me and
hit hit us with the punchline in the TA and
we don't have to think of any punchline in tag
because you just do it.
Speaker 2 (32:03):
Really nice of you. That really just built my self
esteem more than you know. Okay, let's thank you, Brian.
Clip it for my own personal collection. Don't even post
it on this I just need to hear that to
make myself feel good about myself. The other day, I
was feeling really down about like I am not a
good writer and I can't write or whatever, and Emily
was like, I'm going to edit together footage of you
(32:25):
writing because I've witnessed so much and she was like backstage.
Speaker 3 (32:29):
No.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
She was like I'm in the middle of it. And
I was like, you don't need to thank you. This
was nice yere. She was like, I have enough to
make a very compelling video and I was like, I
know you do. I trust you. This really did make
me feel better. I just need someone I trust who's
not going to bullshit me to like tell me that
I am and then I'm like, I'm cool. Just tell
me I'm hot and you won't go to the gallows. Okay,
so my mom, see my mom interrupts my dad with
(32:55):
a message from her friend. Her friend saw something on
Facebook and this was what she saw. Please share it,
she said, please share this with Niki. One of my
dear friends posted this on her Facebook page, and this
woman is just like a friend of a friend of
my mom. I don't even know, but this is the
post that this woman saw on her Facebook feed. Yesterday
was the most memorable day of voting for me, and
(33:15):
only partly because it was Halloween. I talked for the
full hour long wait with the woman in front of me.
She was smart, genuine and open, and we talked about
our work. She's a comedian and lots about our journeys
delving into self compassion and personal growth in general. We
also talked about Kirkwood and realized that her sister has
been this woman's daughter Spanish teacher. When we said goodbye,
(33:35):
we told each other our names, and it wasn't until
I talked to my husband later. She says his name
later and told him what she does for a living
and what her name is, Nicki. I didn't ask her
last name that he informed me I had spent the
hour talking with famous stand up comedian Nicki Glazer and
then untagged Wow, but my mom didn't send me the
(33:55):
rest of it. There was more to it.
Speaker 3 (33:56):
Come on, mom, ah man, Hey, Mom, can you send me.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
The rest of that text from your friend, you only
sent me the first part period. Thanks. Uh.
Speaker 3 (34:06):
So she posted this somewhere yeah on Instagram.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
Nice yeah on Facebook, and let because I was kind
of like bye, Like we kind of like floated away
from each other because you go to go to vote
and then it's like very you have to like just
uh you go to your like little separate booth and
I'm just like a bye, I just go what's your
last name?
Speaker 3 (34:27):
You know?
Speaker 2 (34:27):
Like I was just like I wanted to like connect,
because friends.
Speaker 3 (34:31):
With when I see you, when I talk to a
girl at a thing or whatever, and then yeah, and
I'm like, there's a chance. Then we separate. I don't
know her her name, yeah, and then you got to
like do all this slew thing to figure out what
their name is. You can find them on Facebook, and
then at the time it was just Facebook, and then.
Speaker 2 (34:49):
Well I got her last name and then so I
could And I did it under the guise of like
wanting to ask my sister about her daughter, but I
really was like I want to be friends with this
woman and find her maybe, but also the other thing.
But no, I I honestly did want to.
Speaker 3 (35:01):
Tell me we don't know the conclusion of this post.
Speaker 2 (35:04):
We don't know the conclusion all well, it sounds like
she had a great time with me, like I got
a good game standing next to me and Lie and
she did not know I was comedian. There was no
reason for her to like have that. That made me
feel so good.
Speaker 3 (35:18):
So what if that had yet a YELP page for
your interactions? There's pictures of like the interior, that's where
we're headed. Oh yeah, that was a black Mirror episode.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
But isn't that wouldn't I get like a lot of
points for that?
Speaker 3 (35:30):
Yeah, you would get in that episode it's five stars. Yeah. Wait,
oh my god, we don't know the conclusion could be.
And then I found out it was comedian Nikki Glazier.
She is the worst person. You don't know what's after
that ellipses, Oh.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
My god, wait, there was a woman. When I was
in Kansas City, I was this is so crazy. I
didn't talk about this on the podcat My sister and
Kirsten and me and Chris were all at dinner and
I went to go to the bathroom and as I
was walking back, I passed this table and Chris and
Lauren and Kirsten like kind of saw me talking to
(36:06):
the table, but they stopped me. And the guy was like,
oh my god, I'm such a huge fan. What are
you doing in town and talk to me? And he
goes huge fan. And then this other was like, oh
my god, you're so funny. And then the girl sitting
with them goes, I don't like you. What god, and
she goes she goes, they're fans, I'm not something like that.
It was that cutting. I'm not joking. You let me.
I wish I could remember you said.
Speaker 3 (36:26):
She's on the internet. She doesn't realize she's in real
life right now and she's actually talking.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
I respected it. She was like, and I don't like
you and I'm not a fan. It was something very
like matter of fact and like being like like I
had said something that really upset her or something, and
I was disarmed. I just was like, oh, all right,
well we all are entitled to our own opinion. I
said something like that and was like okay, and then
I just immediately went back to the table was like,
(36:51):
you won't believe what the girl behind me just said
to me. And they were like, oh what and they
were like, oh my god. And then Lauren and Kirsten
were furious. Chris was like, I don't know that she
said that, and they were out for blood. They couldn't
stop watching her because they were facing her, and they
were like, she's not even looking over here. She like, wait,
she really said that to you? I'm gonna say something.
(37:13):
And I was like, maybe she was joking. Maybe she's
being sarcastic, Maybe she really didn't know who I.
Speaker 3 (37:17):
Was, or people are not good at comedy, that's the thing,
and she that might have been.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
Her sarcasm does take me by sometimes. I am kind
of autistic with it and take it as pace value,
and so I and I even said that. I was
like I could be and they were like, no, that
is not a joke, and they but they didn't really
hear it. But it didn't I. If I were a
betting woman, I would say this woman did not like
me and knew exactly who that was. Weird. Was Kirsten pumping?
(37:44):
Was Kirsten pumping?
Speaker 4 (37:45):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (37:45):
Was she pumping at this time? Oh? She was? Blood
was pumping through her veins in her neck because she
was so mad on my she could have pumped some
neck blood. No, she wasn't pumping up the table. She
she she was thinking about pumping. Though, if I know Kirsten,
she's not pumping. She's thinking about pumping. And she was
talking about pumping because pumping's life, man, pumping is life.
(38:06):
I need to get you guys a pumping shirt that
the boom flaps come down and it says pumping amazing.
It would be amazing pumping wardrobe. Every time I hear
Kirsten's girl's chat, it's in the background of pumping, always pumping,
always pumping. Yeah, So that was really like, it made
(38:28):
me feel so good. I was like, Dad, mom is
allowed to interrupt you with this one because it was
important because then he wasn't listening. I go, do you
just hear what she said? And he was like I'm not,
what do you mean? And I go. The woman that
was in line, she sent a message in a bottle
out to me on Facebook. I just felt like she
made it like, I feel like we're gonna be friends.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
Now.
Speaker 3 (38:47):
How old is she?
Speaker 2 (38:49):
I think she's probably well, she has a daughter in
my sister's class, so probably.
Speaker 3 (38:54):
In her fifties.
Speaker 2 (38:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (38:58):
Yeah, I mean I feel like that's appropriate.
Speaker 4 (39:00):
Yeah, it's great to have older friends. I just want
to say, oh my god, it's the best. Make older
friends and younger friends.
Speaker 2 (39:07):
And younger friends. Well, have we had younger older friends
make me as a friend?
Speaker 3 (39:11):
For Nikki and I at least we need to make
older friends in the hopes that when we're old we
can make younger friends.
Speaker 2 (39:17):
Yeah, and they'll take care of us.
Speaker 3 (39:18):
Yeah, it's like pay it forward.
Speaker 2 (39:21):
I'll feel so I feel so cool when young people
do want to be friends with me. But that will
mean a lot to me when if I'm like in
my sixties and like a thirty year old wants to
hang out with me, that'll be fucking cool. Yeah, Because
it's like it is, does bum me out that I
won't be able to have kids that are like old
adults that would be my friends, because I like my
relationship with my parents now so much, like that's been
(39:42):
maybe the best part of it all, and that kind
of bums me out. I wouldn't have that. So maybe
I'll adopt one when I get to my sixties, adopted child.
Speaker 3 (39:52):
You have to be when you're If you're real cool
when you're in your nineties, you've got some forty year
old friends.
Speaker 2 (39:59):
That's hard to maintain coolness. That late. You have to
be like a you have to be like posting on
Instagram and stuff as a ninety year old. And you
don't have to be cool prompts.
Speaker 3 (40:08):
You don't have to be cool. You just have to
be a good friend. Like I'm friends with a ninety
year old woman who's my downstairs neighbor. Yeah, Irene, that's
so sweet. And she I wouldn't say she's cool. She
is pretty cool, but she's not like on Instagram or something.
She's not like keeping up with the trends, but she's
very active and she uh.
Speaker 2 (40:30):
Saying I need to like make fans though to take
care of me.
Speaker 3 (40:34):
You need, you need like a you need like that.
Speaker 2 (40:36):
I'm not gonna be as lucky as Irene and just
like have like a neighbor boy who's like nice to me.
Like you can't guarantee that, no, no, you can't.
Speaker 3 (40:44):
But she makes an effort. She makes an effort to
try to make friends. That's what it is, is that
she goes out with her dog. She walks around the
neighborhood and she talks to everybody who has a dog
or not.
Speaker 2 (40:54):
You have to make an effort to make friends. It's
so shitty. Part of it. Do you do you ever
follow that Grandma Warmack or something? I forgot her name,
drasniac Oh. Here she is drawniac Grandma drawniac on Instagram.
If you aren't following her, I'm talking to every single
person right now, take out your phone and go follow
(41:15):
Grandma underschool score drawniac d r O n I AK.
You will not be disappointed. She is a hilarious grandma
who sets up her camera and talks about how she's
gonna slay from the grave and how she's getting ready.
She goes to pick up guys at at funerals. She
has a boyfriend she just dumped. She is a thriving,
(41:36):
probably ninety year old woman who is like always wearing
cute earrings. And let me just play you an example
of something she said. Okay, here we go.
Speaker 1 (41:46):
Get ready with me to go on first day. This
is the first one since I dropped my boyfriend. It's
been a month, so it's time. Just fellows been wanting
to go out with me since I've been living here.
I'm feeling flirty. Why not because I am single and
he has all his feet so.
Speaker 2 (42:06):
I couldn't say no. And if it works out, he's
only a few doors down.
Speaker 1 (42:11):
I always see him eating bananas, so I got banana's earrings.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
I never kiss on a first date, but this is
for me. I feel pretty.
Speaker 1 (42:24):
Let me show you my outfit. This is my gate outfit.
If he doesn't like it, forget about him. We're going
to dinner. How original. He's gonna be here any minute.
I just came back from dinner and it didn't go well.
He tried to kiss me, but I didn't.
Speaker 3 (42:42):
Try to kiss.
Speaker 1 (42:43):
To throw a banana at him, but I couldn't dare
that wouldn't be lady like whatever, onto the next I
love you.
Speaker 2 (42:53):
She is out there trying to get it at a
nursing home and she's going to say And the great
part is we can talk blatantly about these guys because
they're not online social media, so she can tell you
all about her date, like I couldn't do that kind
of thing. It's like she's so cute. I like, and
I've seen her kind of you know, she's like fell
(43:14):
I've been following for for a couple of years, and
like she was she was living on her own when
I first started following her, and now she's in a home.
But she's like having a good time and she's so cute.
And her nephew or maybe her grandson, is this other
kid who he travels. He takes day trips to like
Tokyo and shows you how to do one day in
Tokyo and like by yourself, and he's really cool and
(43:35):
I forget his name, But I relate to that the city, yes,
but I don't relate to making the most of it.
I relate to driving to the air from airport, hotel
to venue to hotel, fourteen Starbucks in between we gotta
(43:59):
go to We'll be back after this, Okay. So one
more thing I wanted to hit is that I became
I trended on TikTok nicktock. Yes, I made a video
last weekend to the Gracy Abrams song That's So True
that I love. And I've been waiting for a Gracie
(44:23):
song to like be a thing on TikTok and Emily
has been like patrolling it and she was like, oh
my god, Nikki, Gracie's That's So True is like a
thing on TikTok and I was like, I don't know
that song. It was like one that just came out
last week. I'm like I haven't learned it yet do
one that I know. So I just quickly learned it.
I had to like memorize it, and it took a
minute because it's fast. But I learned the second verse
(44:45):
that it wasn't It was just on Instagram, like I
guess people were like putting in the background of their
videos and stuff like it was just a song that
was appradic. Yes, yes, but no one was doing anything
with it that I know of that was like a
trend yet. So I just say the song, lip synced it,
and it's like it's I was in a dressing room,
so I was like, let's start in the mirror and
(45:06):
then I'll turn to the camera and then it's something
about taking down your hair, So I'll take down my hair,
and then it's taken off your shirt. I'll take off
my shirt. I did that once twice and then I
was like and then you go oh, And I like
asked Andrew to stand on the side so I would
I would like be like oh to him and he
would be like what and then so it was just
like a fun like series of things that we timed
out and I didn't cut. But at first Emily and
(45:27):
I were cutting it so I could memorize each little
part because I can't remember the whole thing. And then
we were like, no, let's just try to do it
in one take. And I did it finally, and then
I think in Gracie posted it, which was so cool,
and then commented on and commented on it and said like,
this is my like dream music video, and it was
like Emily. Emily was like crazy, commented like an hour
(45:50):
after we posted it was so nice. And then uh.
And then a couple of days later, like she Emily's like,
not you like starting a TikTok trend. That's how I'm like,
you know, like, oh my god, not you starting a
TikTok trend. And then she would send me all these
videos of people doing it where they start looking in
the mirror and then they turn they take down their hair,
(46:12):
and then they take off their shirt and then they
go once twice and then the rest of it. I
didn't do many funny things or whatever, but and people
are doing this and recreating it was so touching and
it was just like a bunch of random people. And
then today I woke up to Emily saying, let me
go back for on the feed because I've been like,
(46:35):
I lost my dress and she's like, don't panic, We're
gonna figure it out, Okay, She wrote six twenty six
am waking up to see see Hamilton doing your trend.
PLS please, And then she sends me it's so funny.
I love the way she texts. I love the way
she talks. She sent me a video on Instagram of
(46:55):
someone's like tour video, like a tour recap, speaking of
how she talks, and she and I have joked about
her leaving me for this person someday because I'm like,
that's just how it works, Like, if you ever get
offered to work for this megastar, you should go, you know, like,
and she really is a fan of this megastar. So
(47:16):
she sent me the megastars a reel that they had
posted of like a recap of their tour, and she goes, wait,
why are our tour recaps one hundred times better than this?
PLS capitalized please tbt tbt to when you said you'll
leave me one day to work for blank like and
(47:36):
then all caps naw girl, please, PLS please The word
written out in all caps please, as in never, and
then that's in like stars and I go, oh my god,
you should totally leave me. This girl needs help. I
wouldn't blame you. And she was like, and then she
freaked out because she thought that I was really she
was really she thought that I thought she was saying
(47:58):
she was leaving me for this girl or something, or
that she would and I was like, first of all,
I didn't think that, like why would you say that
to me? And you should if you ever get the opportunity,
I would be like very happy for you. But then
she like, then I went into a plates class and
she was like, wait, Nikki, you know I'm joking, right,
And I was like, I was in this class. And
so she said she spiraled in her therapy session about it,
(48:20):
and that made me so sad, and I'm like, she goes,
that's just the way I talk. You know that I
wasn't actually saying that. I was saying like like please,
like oh my god, like I wasn't saying please let
it happen. And I was like, no, girl, I know
how you talk. Now you She is very sweet. But
Hamilton did my trend.
Speaker 3 (48:39):
That's amazing. And I like the cast of Hamilton.
Speaker 2 (48:43):
I mean I didn't watch it yet because I'm too
nervous because it's just like too much for me. But yeah,
the dude, I'm watching it now. Yeah they did. They
started in the mirror.
Speaker 3 (48:55):
I like her.
Speaker 2 (48:55):
She's so fun. Wait I think I hate her. I'm not.
Oh my god, So it's one person from Hamilton. Yes,
not my business, but I had to, Okay, I hope
we don't get like a strike. This song music so much,
(49:19):
it goes on and on. It's she did it good.
I can't see it really. Oh she did a cool
wall thing that I should have done. I mean it.
Speaker 1 (49:35):
So.
Speaker 3 (49:35):
Is that Hamilton video on TikTok yes? Is that like
reposted with Nicki's original sound or is that no?
Speaker 4 (49:43):
I think it's so on YouTube. I played it while
Nicky was talking about it. So if anyone wants to
see a Plea YouTube channel, if you don't want to go.
Speaker 2 (49:50):
On reposted with my sound, I think it's just reposted
with No, it's it's reposted with her music. So they
you do it to her music.
Speaker 3 (49:58):
But you created choreography, Yes, I can.
Speaker 2 (50:04):
Which is the most ironic thing that's could ever be
said about anything that I've done. Is like a choreography.
But yes, I did I invented, and I want to
do more because I have to be honest with you.
This this is my talent. This is my biggest Like
I think that I am the probably capable of being
(50:24):
I think I need a lot of practice, but being
one of the best lip synkers to songs and then
doing things while I'm lip syncing that really sell the words.
Speaker 3 (50:36):
I mean, You're gonna be better than a lot of people.
I mean I see people like the hottest girls on
TikTok are the worst lip syncers, and they have the
most views like the wow aren't even moving Like it's
like they're not even trying to say the words. It's
like they're purposely a little bit late and not saying
like they say like half the word, Like if the
word is jacket, their mouth will just say like jack.
Speaker 2 (50:56):
It is confounding why these are it's just because they're hot,
and it's like it's really distracting. I can't stand when
the sound is off. In fact, Emily, like Emily has
grown up watching these videos of girls like with like
a half a second lag, and so it's normal to them.
It's like it isn't jarring to look at for me,
I'm like, do it right. So Emily has one time
(51:16):
posted one that was like a point zero zero one
second off, and literally only I would notice it because
I am obsessed about it being perfectly on, and I
was like, hey girl, you need to take that down.
And she was like she was horrified, and I was like,
you're allowed to make a mistake like this is and
you didn't notice. I wouldn't expect you to notice because
you're I I'm I'm weird about this. I would I'm
(51:38):
I'm as, you're not supposed to say, oh CD, this
is my Like, uh, I'm not okay with it being
a little bit off, but but I see it all
the time. Yeah, it's almost like rarely see one that's good.
The talking ones are very very difficult, that's the thing.
Talking ones are impossible. Singing ones not so hard because
you're on a beat, but talking finding the rhythm, there's
(52:01):
no rhyme or reason for it, so you just have
to like kind of either. So sometimes I've done a
thing where I'm like, keep a beat with my hand
and I count the seconds and I go, okay, before
between I say these sentences, it's going to be three
of these because otherwise you don't. You can't know it.
Speaker 3 (52:15):
Well, you know who they are, you know. I mean
like Sarah Cooper remember.
Speaker 2 (52:18):
Her from Oh she was great at it?
Speaker 3 (52:20):
I mean she still is. What's she doing now, Sarah Cooper?
Haven't heard from her in a while?
Speaker 2 (52:25):
She was everywhere?
Speaker 3 (52:27):
Yeah in twenty in the last election twenty twenty one. Yeah, no, no,
it was actually there was during COVID. Yes, it was
like before the election. I think was when it really
peaked twenty twenty, pre election, during COVID, while Trump was
still president, she was doing those lip sync videos. What
happened to her? I wonder what happened to her? Is
she writing for something? Maybe I haven't seen or heard
(52:51):
from her in a while.
Speaker 2 (52:52):
I know, I don't know the answer to this. Should
we file a missing person's report? I'm now realizing, oh
my god, I don't know where she is? Yeah, yeah,
final thought, Sarah Cooper, where are you? I'm sure you're
still working. The thing is, I will forget about people
all the time, as I'm sure people forget about me.
(53:12):
Like sometimes I'll be like, oh my god, I used
to be like really obsessed with this thing, or like,
oh I used to be you know, comparing myself to
this girl or this guy a lot, and I don't
see them anymore. Are they still doing stuff? And then
I go and they have a full career, They're still
charging a head as much as they were. It's like
the algorithm knew that I wasn't interested anymore or something
or like, and I've even talked about this, If you
(53:34):
mute someone, they go away forever, like you do not
see them anymore, Like you don't realize how muting a
person that is triggering to you truly makes them not
exist in your life within a week, like I would
say even sooner, because I have a joke in my
act about it right now that I'm trying to work on.
(53:55):
But it's like I muted a friend because during COVID
because her life was growing great, and it just I
just was tired of seeing it, you know, And I
was like, oh, I'll just unmute her when I'm more
mentally stable, because like it's all about me, right, And
then I didn't because I forgot because as soon as
I muted her, she disappeared from my thoughts. She wasn't
(54:17):
a person I ever even knew, so in that time,
like she got married and had a baby, and like
this was a friend of mine and like had like
really cool things happened in her career, and it's someone
if if I would have seen that happening, I would
have texted them to be like congratulations, are like been
a friend. But because they disappeared, I didn't know she
(54:39):
had a baby and she's like a friend of mine,
and and then I saw her. I ran into her
and she was like, yeah, I had a baby. I'm like, oh.
And you run into the person and you realize, oh
my god, I don't know anything about their life. Oh
my god, I think I muted them. Oh my god.
Do they know I muted them? Because I haven't liked anything,
Like that's a clear indication, and they don't.
Speaker 3 (54:56):
Fucking know noticed that someone's sting.
Speaker 2 (55:01):
I will say that a crazy person good. But this
person wasn't crazy though.
Speaker 3 (55:06):
But you just assume that you have so many followers
and that your your Instagram is probably so busy, and
probably and most of the people would assume that you're
not even looking at your Instagram anymore, that someone else
like gen ZM is in control of it, and so
there's so many excuses that you have for posts.
Speaker 4 (55:22):
I'm going to remind you of what you have always
told me that always sticks in front of my mind
and I constantly think about it. Is that like she's
not thinking about you. She's like, you know, it's it's
not your wedding, it's her wedding.
Speaker 2 (55:37):
Yes, yes, but I will say that if I I
guess when I I don't feel this way about this
person anymore because we aren't friends anymore, not like it's
like we had bad blood or something like we just
I would if she was pregnant. Now I wouldn't text her.
It's like we're not close anymore. But at this time
that we were close, And I just think I thought
at that time, if if the tables were turned, would
(55:59):
I've been like, why didn't she like reach out and
say congrats on your baby? I think I would have
thought that. So I think that's why I was like, oh, okay,
I maybe would have been that child of a person.
But you're right, Noah, like most of the time, no,
trust she I don't know how all consuming being a
mom is. She doesn't remember anything. Yeah, yeah, as you shouldn't.
There's a pregnant woman today in my pilates class. Shout out. Oh, like,
(56:23):
I can't believe you were doing that. I can't believe
you were doing that. And did you have to pay double?
Because we live in Missouri where a fetus is a person. Yeah,
did you have to pay double? I think you should?
I think you should.
Speaker 3 (56:37):
Can I just give a Sarah Cooper update.
Speaker 2 (56:40):
We're dying to know.
Speaker 3 (56:41):
Yes, she's working a lot, Okay. Sarah Cooper released a
memoir in twenty twenty three called Foolish that's got four
point four out of five stars on Amazon right now.
Very good, very good. She was in Unfrosted the Jerry Side.
Speaker 2 (56:57):
I knew that. I saw on that. She was good.
Speaker 3 (56:59):
Yeah, she uh, she was doing something.
Speaker 2 (57:06):
And then but she touring?
Speaker 1 (57:08):
Is she is?
Speaker 3 (57:09):
She? Like?
Speaker 2 (57:09):
What's her Instagram?
Speaker 4 (57:10):
Like?
Speaker 3 (57:10):
Is she doing her Instagram doesn't have four days ago?
She posted a she's not really posting lip syncs anymore.
I don't think so. Maybe she's moved on from there,
but she's up. You know what happens. I'll girl, once
you once you reach a certain level, based like Scott Seis.
(57:31):
You know Scott Seiss. Yeah, so he kind of did
a similar thing where it's like nobody really wants to
be posting that frequently content to Instagram. So once you
reach a certain level and you're like, oh, i'm selling
tickets now I can move on to my other projects.
You just stop posting stuff, or you post something once
every few months maybe, and it's fine, your followers stay
(57:54):
the same. Now, there's also the other route, like what
you're doing, where you hire a team to help you
now keep with all the right But you know, for them,
I don't think it's like as as helpful for them
to do that, Like they're they have a different type
of career than you right now anyway.
Speaker 2 (58:11):
Yeah, yeah, And and that's not easy to do, by
the way, to find someone to do that. And also,
I mean I'm still struggling with it. Even though she's
like I will do anything for you, I'm like, I
don't know what to make. I don't know what to make,
Like me making that video that night, like I was
just in the right mood to do it. It was
a song that I'd been waiting, a song that I
knew and I was excited about. Like it's I just
(58:33):
have to be so to wake up every day and
have to feel like you would have to make content.
I really like that's a feel for these people.
Speaker 3 (58:39):
Well, that's why there's hot. And I think there's three
types of people. I think there's people like you who
are now like you're You're not a person anymore. You
are like an industry. You're you are Nikki Glazer the
concept and online that needs to be like a company,
like you're like Coca Cola release seeing like ads every
(59:01):
day for selling tickets to your comedy shows. Yeah, that's
the key to be right. And you're a commodity. That's
a better word than saying you're not a person. You're
a commodity. And then there's below that, there's two types
of people. There's people who make content for the purpose
of raising their profiles so that they can do something else,
and then there are people who are on the internet.
(59:23):
They are Internet personalities that will have to be making
content every day for the rest of their lives because
the second they stop, the money stops coming in.
Speaker 2 (59:34):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (59:35):
And both of them are equally as risky because you
might not get any money from doing jobs in this
hellish industry. Or if you stop running on the hamster wheel,
you'll stop getting money because you won't get that ad
revenue or that Patreon or whatever.
Speaker 2 (59:49):
Oh my god, it's all hard. I'm writing this Joan
Rivers thing speech that I'm giving on Thursday and going
through old jokes of hers about like aging and thinking
about like what it meant to me and what it
means to me that she was like so open about
it and and how like it was. It's like, you know,
(01:00:14):
she's passing down wisdom of like here's what's gonna happen
to your bodies, ladies. But here's like some really visceral
jokes about it, you know, Like one is like I
took off my bra the other day, or I took
off my swimsuit at the beach the other day and
clubbed a baby seal, and uh, there's just tons, there's
(01:00:36):
not I mean, I'm I'm mad that I can't remember
them all right now? What was? What was another one
that was? But anyway, so I'm like I'm like thinking,
I'm trying to, like animal the English major in me
is like writing a paper right now. I'm like I
have to say something about all of this, Like I
can't just be like here's Jones jokes and then here's
my jokes, Like I want to say something or like
(01:00:57):
continue the conversation that she started. But I'm like landing
on like I mean, I guess the thesis that I've
always landed on, which is being pretty rules and when
you're not, you develop other things to make people like
you just as much. And I and my whole thesis
is like, Joan wouldn't be funny if she thought she
was pretty and the and I have the receipts to
(01:01:20):
prove it. I'm like, cause I even wrote in the thing,
I'm like, who knows if it'll make the final one,
but I just wrote today I was like, Joan, let
I'm gonna say that I don't think Joan would have
been a comedian if she thought she was pretty. And
I and that's not just speculation, there's proof, here's all
the proof. And then here's this joke. Here's the joke.
You would not write these jokes if you thought you
(01:01:41):
were pretty. And and then also but then she has
this one joke where she's like says something and about
a front. She was like, I heard this woman did
this surgery for this and she was like, don't laugh.
It was me, And I'm like the realist part of
this joke is don't laugh, because like she she obviously
wants you to laugh because it's joke, but like she's
(01:02:02):
also like, don't laugh at this person that I'm describing
because she talks about a plastic surgeries too, which she
always got mocked for. Like I'm like she was a model,
she was, like she mocked a lot of people, obviously
on the red carpet and stuff, but she was made
fun of so much for her plastic surgery. Like she
was the punchline to like, if you need a person
that has had bad plastic surgery, you say Joan River's name. Yeah,
(01:02:23):
And all she was trying to do was stay beautiful.
All she wanted was to be pretty. That's all she
wanted and then said she got made fun of for
her efforts to do so, and it's just so sad.
And but in the in the speech, I'm gonna mention
doctor Diamond's name twice so that I get like I
save some money on because it's gonna be on NBC,
(01:02:44):
Like he's gonna get promotion from it. So I'm gonna
say his name and then I'm gonna say his name again.
Speaker 3 (01:02:49):
And this is like a thing that's pree detromant. Wait, yeah,
like he says, if you do this twice, you'll get it.
Speaker 2 (01:02:56):
But I can't imagine I won't like it. It's gonna
get the word out. I can't imagine he wouldn't like.
I mean, I'm not like I would still go to
him because he's the best, and I'm not doing that.
I'm not saying this would not be that would be. No,
it is not no, it is not an ad. I
found him through uh one of the prettiest people I've
ever met in my life. Aster where do you go?
(01:03:17):
And that's who she said she went to, So that's who.
Speaker 3 (01:03:19):
I go to.
Speaker 2 (01:03:20):
And Mineral yep, and that's his real name. I think
I don't care and I just trust him. He's amazing anyway,
So I'm gonna drop his name twice to get a discount,
which I think Joan would have approved of as well.
But I I also wanted to be like I want
to say some things that like maybe are a little offensive,
(01:03:41):
Like I don't cause I'm like I need to like
embody Joan's spirit and like say something fucking crazy, not crazy,
but just like whoa she went there? Like it's not
even like NICKI Glazer style, Like I think if I
were to be me in this kind of setting on
NBC like Primetime, like play by the Rules. But I'm like, no,
Joan wouldn't want that. At least I hope. I would
(01:04:03):
hope that if someone was memorializing me in this way
that they would try to like channel what I would do. Yeah,
I'm why are you going to try to do that?
Speaker 3 (01:04:13):
I think she would mention diamonds seven times just at
the end, stay it over and over, like doctor diamond
dot diamond.
Speaker 2 (01:04:24):
All right, Well we can go now I have to
go catch a plane.
Speaker 3 (01:04:29):
To I'm going to be planted on a couch all night.
I'm usually planted on a couch. But just Watchurly. Yeah, yeah,
I'm gonna be watching you know, uh, Property Brothers season seven.
Speaker 2 (01:04:43):
Anly she wants to just go out in the woods
for five days.
Speaker 3 (01:04:46):
She lives very close to the woods, so that's pretty
easy for her.
Speaker 2 (01:04:50):
I was like, but she's like, I'm just not gonna
pay attention to it. I'm like, aren't you living with
someone though? Like, don't both people? Because otherwise I would
just be like watching my partner look at their phone
and be like what trying to decipher their face and
like you can't avoid unless you live alone, right, and
don't pick up your phone?
Speaker 3 (01:05:06):
Where the.
Speaker 2 (01:05:10):
Okay, well, future listeners in the future. I hope everything's
good with you guys, and we'll be back next week
to talk about it and like you know, after it fallout, Yeah,
we'll talk about it then. I hope everyone's well. Meditate
today if you need it, and uh, don't be ka
and bye. The Nicki Glazer Podcast is a production by
Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeart Podcasts. Created and
(01:05:33):
hosted by me Nicki Glazer, co hosted by Brian Frangie,
Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Hans Sonny and Noah Avior
edited it engineered by Lean and Loaf, video production Mark Canton,
and music by Anya Marina. You can now watch full
episodes of the Nicky Glazer podcast on YouTube, follow at
Nikki Glazer pod and subscribe to our channel.