#496 Nikki Glaser NYT Comedian of the Year, Hollywood Events & Expectations

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Nikki Glaser Podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:07):
Glaser, Hello here, I am welcome to the show. It's
Nicky Laser Podcast. I am in Los Angeles once again.
I'm gonna be here for a little bit because I'm
hosting the Golden Globe January fifth. Check it out on
CBS Live and then it'll be streaming on Paramount Plus
after that. But you better watch it live. I'm coming
in hot, I'm coming in I know it really did.

(00:28):
I did a promo shoot day. I will say, oh, wait,
by the way, Brian Frandi's here, Sean O'Connor's here, and
Andrew Collin is here. We did a promo shoot day.
We did a promo shoot on early November. I want
to say, was that I don't even know. But it's
like so weird because those days you just like we

(00:50):
wrote like Brian me and Sean wrote like an n
JP wrote a bunch of jokes for it, and then
it like then you get there and Sean, you were
like somewhere you couldn't be on set.

Speaker 1 (01:02):
Yeah, I was in Utah.

Speaker 3 (01:04):
Yeah, yeah, you're a cliff hanging.

Speaker 1 (01:05):
I was cliff hanging in Utah with Ali and her parents,
which is really fun. Wait, you literally Cliff no, no, no,
I scrambled, but I don't cliffhang. I think it's crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:13):
To scrambled is the funniest thing to picture someone doing.

Speaker 1 (01:16):
It's just like.

Speaker 2 (01:19):
It doesn't look it doesn't look like you're falling. It
just being like you're just skittish and you're running from something.
Have you ever seen that lizard being chased or a
lizard chasing a No, a lizard is being chased by
komodo dragon.

Speaker 1 (01:28):
Have you ever seen that? Oh no, it's like an epic.

Speaker 2 (01:31):
Saga that someone captured, like a David Attenborough. But it's
like a lizard running from like I think, a Komodo dragon,
and you're like rooting for the lizard and then you're
rooting for the dragon and then it's like it's one
of the best chasing.

Speaker 1 (01:45):
On a cliff, right, isn't there a moment where they
got on a cliff?

Speaker 2 (01:47):
Then both possibly, but it looks it's cinematic shot cinematically
and it's just like this clip that was circulating. Well anyway,
they were scrambling everywhere. I'm glad both those guys are
dead and all of their families and we'll never know
anything about them, even though I just did listen to
a podcast or at least five minutes of it with
Sam Harris talking to a guy who's trying to bring
back the wooly mammoth because he wants biodiversity and it

(02:08):
could like save the world to bring back the wooly
mammoth until everyone starts shooting at all the trumps.

Speaker 1 (02:14):
You have to try to get the tusks.

Speaker 4 (02:16):
You got to put it in your interesting.

Speaker 1 (02:17):
Learning why that would save the planet.

Speaker 2 (02:19):
But I I wish I could tell you, but I
fell asleep.

Speaker 1 (02:23):
Sam Harris's dulcin tones.

Speaker 4 (02:26):
Were like really good at math.

Speaker 2 (02:28):
Oh, yeah, they'll literally save the planet by coming up
with the equation by I love that there's the easiest
way to save the planet is.

Speaker 3 (02:39):
To abolish the fossil fuel industry.

Speaker 5 (02:41):
And we're like, no, let's bring back the math and
see if that were just we can't get we can't
around who means my dad?

Speaker 2 (02:51):
Still I still get triggered because my dad, every single
time I would leave a light on in the house,
he was like, there is a big plant somewhere with
a smoke sack billowing out some and part of that
smoke is because you left on this light. Like a
bird is choking on smoke right now, the smoke your
light that you left on because you didn't even need
it while we're out to dinner and it's just in
your bedroom. Because those smoke sacks, Like when you're a kid,

(03:12):
at least when I was just was so sensitive to
like why are we ruining this beautiful planet? Like smoke sacks.

Speaker 6 (03:18):
Are just are so ominous looking.

Speaker 1 (03:20):
Yeah, I mean it's like instinctually you know this is
a bad thing when you're a little kid.

Speaker 4 (03:26):
Yes, I do love you turning your light off though,
and the plants like math, fuck gotta shut down. Yeah,
you did it this tonight.

Speaker 6 (03:34):
It is true.

Speaker 2 (03:35):
Like we all like think, well it's not true because
we I mean, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (03:38):
I it's no. Putting it on the individual consumer is
a failure.

Speaker 5 (03:43):
Yeah, it's a move from Exxon Exon created in nineteen seventy.

Speaker 2 (03:46):
Yeah, will you tell us about that?

Speaker 1 (03:47):
That's like opening so basically that.

Speaker 5 (03:49):
They've known about how like the industrial revolution is the
whole cause of the destruction of this planet since the
seventies at least, but in the seventies they put.

Speaker 3 (03:58):
It all on the consumer.

Speaker 5 (03:59):
And that's where like car footprint comes from, and like
recycling is all to put it on you so they
don't have to change a single.

Speaker 2 (04:06):
Thing, right, and it gives you a false sense of
control that you're.

Speaker 3 (04:11):
Doing something yeah, good for the planet.

Speaker 5 (04:13):
And then that's why, like any celebrity if you look
on their instagram, like anytime they go political, it's like,
but you fly a private jet and it's like, yet, honestly,
they could stop that for the rest of their lives
and if fossil fuel ended tomorrow, it were.

Speaker 1 (04:28):
Fine, Yeah, God, we didn't. Adam ruins everything on that
on that same thing, like the commercialization of your individual
responsibility for saving this planet and the Earth Day and
recycling in general, which is.

Speaker 5 (04:43):
A scam, like everything from the eighties and nineties that
were like about like raw raw rah, no litter, and
then all that stuff all to just make us feel
like we can have some control over.

Speaker 2 (04:54):
What would happen if they stopped doing the fossil fuel
industry stopped.

Speaker 1 (04:58):
Like, how would it affect our lives?

Speaker 5 (05:00):
I mean immediately it would be bad for us. I
think we have to we have to ease out of it.

Speaker 1 (05:06):
But right, but what if they if they turned off
the fossil fuel industry today, we wouldn't be able to
drive or turn on lights or.

Speaker 5 (05:14):
We need like we need like you know, like to
just start finding alternative fuel sources.

Speaker 2 (05:18):
But that's but that's why, like Trump is constantly making
fun of windmills because it's a threat to fossil fuel industry.
So we're trying to find we're trying to find alternative sources,
but they're just bullying them and like making fun of
them and saying they're gay.

Speaker 1 (05:33):
Yes, exactly, like a windmill sounds okay, is like.

Speaker 3 (05:38):
We're not Dutch, we're playing. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (05:42):
I saw Twisters recently, and man, the windmills really took
a beating in that movie. Oh yeah, it was like,
you know what, movies aren't good? Okay.

Speaker 5 (05:49):
Solar energy, I think is kind of probably the future.
Like there's something that solar farm as you're driving to
Vegas that's like so big that could like power Vegas
for a month every day, like it generates enough.

Speaker 1 (06:02):
I talked to the person who was an engineer on
that very solar farm, and I asked the question, if
you if you ever drove from La to Vegas, you're
gonna drive in through the desert, and you're gonna see
two towers that are glowing like the Eye of Sourn
in the in the distance, and you're like, what the
fuck is that? And then around it are all these
things that look like solar panels. And what I learned

(06:25):
is that the fuel source is not what's on the ground.
Those are not solar panels.

Speaker 3 (06:31):
The solar farm. Those aren't solar panels.

Speaker 1 (06:34):
They're mirrors, and the fuel source is the eye of Sourn.
The sun is going down onto the mirrors, and the
mirrors are all reflecting up to the eye, and that's
where the power is.

Speaker 3 (06:48):
That's awesome.

Speaker 6 (06:49):
Oh my god, it is right. Well, did that just
like drain you.

Speaker 2 (06:54):
You're not gonna be scrambling anytime soon after that sense.

Speaker 1 (06:58):
But let's get back to what you were talk about.
This the probos.

Speaker 2 (07:02):
Oh, some of them are so funny. They're like some
of them are just like missus. But some of them
I was watching yesterday are really funny, and I'm excited
because they're like really weird, like the Jeff Bridges one
was there's there was something I was like really proud of,
and then others I said, you have to kill that.

Speaker 1 (07:18):
That makes no sense.

Speaker 2 (07:19):
There's one where I'm like, like they wanted to have
us to do something about how like the Golden Globes
are like a party night and like it's off the
rails and people are drinking. But like this this is
a lesson in comedy. Everyone listening, Like so that's the premise, right,
Like we want a joke that talks about how everyone's partying.

Speaker 6 (07:36):
And it's like I think the line was like.

Speaker 2 (07:38):
It'll be a night, uh a little bit of night
you remember forever, except any of the celebrities in the
audience because they're gonna be blackout.

Speaker 1 (07:46):
Uh, because they'll be blackout.

Speaker 2 (07:48):
So but that doesn't work because I have to establish
that people are drinking first, like just coming out hot
to an audience at CBS who are watching like Matt Lock,
and then all of a sudden, I'm like, and everyone's
gonna be black out. They're gonna be like what is
I mean? I guess it'll get eyes on it, but
it doesn't make any sense contextually, Like it's yeah, like
I need to set up the fact that people are drinking,

(08:11):
and so I'm and the problem is I'm like writing
in like this needs a set up, and they're like, yeah,
why did you write.

Speaker 1 (08:15):
It that's enough? Oh my god, that's a good point.

Speaker 4 (08:21):
The same time you took writing thisney to set up.

Speaker 2 (08:24):
Yeah, well, I can't shoot it like it's not there's
nowhere in the edited footage that it's like exists.

Speaker 5 (08:31):
So there should be at least three pickup days for
all promo shoots, and we could.

Speaker 2 (08:36):
Figure promos are just a humiliating thing, like you. I
think when they first started coming in, I was like,
these are embarrassing, and then you guys all reminded me
like no one's ever looked cool in a promo ever.

Speaker 6 (08:46):
Yeah, ever, they're so they're awful.

Speaker 5 (08:48):
There's a reason why they stopped doing promos for like
that stretch where like they would do the lower third walk.

Speaker 2 (08:55):
On and go okay and point to the like Thursday
night at night, it's.

Speaker 5 (08:59):
Like this is it's just as embarrassing as having you
talk to camera. Yes, like yeah, Sheldon post.

Speaker 2 (09:06):
Leaning up against the CBS logo. Oh my god, you're
so right.

Speaker 1 (09:10):
But I've been enjoying watching CBS. Football games are on
CBS and then you pop up probably like two or
three times a day on when you're watching football, and
I haven't seen any of the quote unquote funny promos.
Yet it's always just like Nikki Glazer hosts the Golden
Globes on January fifth, then it's just you like going.

Speaker 2 (09:28):
All right, well, I'll take that over something confusing.

Speaker 5 (09:32):
I guess I just want the Nicole Kidman one to
air because I feel.

Speaker 3 (09:35):
Like that one is going to go down in history.

Speaker 4 (09:37):
What is that one?

Speaker 2 (09:38):
I wonder if they'll even air it and if someone is,
if someone sees it, will you please record it and
send it to us, because that's the thing, Like no
one I've said this before, when you have stuff that airs,
like no one in your life records it or tells
you about it because they like they know it's airing,
And I'm like, no, I don't. I don't know when
I'm on TV, record it for me, send it to
me on Instagram.

Speaker 3 (09:58):
Please tell us because if they don't air that, we
could use that in the show.

Speaker 4 (10:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (10:02):
Okay, So if you see the Nicole Kidman comment about
her at the Golden Globes, we're not gonna give it away.

Speaker 1 (10:10):
We can say that it's a seating one, right, is that?

Speaker 3 (10:13):
What was? Oh?

Speaker 2 (10:14):
Yeah, it's about like me talking about the seating arrangement.
I don't even think it made the cut.

Speaker 6 (10:19):
Do you remember?

Speaker 3 (10:20):
Did it?

Speaker 5 (10:20):
Just it was it was like that we saw like
after Okay, Black Friday, like.

Speaker 2 (10:27):
You know me, there was but I think I talked
about before there was one joke in there that would
have made me lose the show because we were so.

Speaker 3 (10:36):
Hard it is so it's like the most aggressive.

Speaker 6 (10:39):
Wait, can I just whisper to Andrew?

Speaker 2 (10:40):
Okay, it was like like it was me. It was
about me, like roasting. Am I going to roast? Or
am I going to toast? Like no, I should have
roast people. I'm gonna toast And it's like here's blah
blah blah, and then I would I would roast, you know,
but it sounds like I'm being nice.

Speaker 6 (10:54):
But it was like it's too harsh.

Speaker 2 (11:02):
There's a word in there that's but that would be
maybe good also to like there's a lot of jokes
we wrote for that were like, oh, I like that
on that.

Speaker 5 (11:10):
Joke's very funny, and I feel like that would work
in the show. But you know, like a promo that's
airing during like fb I Los Angeles.

Speaker 2 (11:18):
Yeah, well not even. But I think the problem is
is that it says it people would misconstrue it. And
I know this is annoying to the listener who's like, well,
we don't know what you're talking about. It implies it
has like a man who's dated famous women and then
it's talking about how he's kind of been not great
to these women. That's like the gist of the joke
is it's talking about that, and it sounds a little

(11:39):
bit like I'm throwing the women under the bus. But
if you're not listening closely, I'm absolutely not.

Speaker 1 (11:43):
It also empowers and empowers the man to have the
ability to defile something. Woman should have control over whether
or not she's been defiled. Right, But it's just a joke.
It's just a joke. It's a hilarious joke. Well, well
you know what you know? Yeah, no, sorry, go ahead,
you know what you should do. Go ahead, and you
know what you should do. Though, you should try it.

Speaker 4 (12:05):
I don't know if they were sold panel.

Speaker 1 (12:08):
You should try it on stage and see what happens, right,
because we don't know, we don't know what if it bombs.

Speaker 6 (12:15):
Well, none of those three people are going to be
in the audience.

Speaker 1 (12:18):
Oh yeah, I think still just try it on stage once. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I do like that hat a lot. It's a great
the great height. I want to get a cold set
that's like that.

Speaker 2 (12:29):
Maybe you can do it on Kimmel, like maybe talk
about like that might be a place for because if
I'm commenting on the fact that it's a crazy joke
and then I tell the joke, it's like I'm so
glad I've got this pulled from you know, or something
like that.

Speaker 1 (12:42):
It could be interesting because the people listening to this
will have seen Kimmel last.

Speaker 2 (12:45):
Night and so they know possibly, but I doubt I will.
I don't know, well it oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that's
the best one.

Speaker 3 (12:53):
He'll love it. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (12:54):
I'm doing Howard Stern the day after the Golden Globes
the morning after, so I.

Speaker 6 (12:57):
Will not have slept the night.

Speaker 4 (12:58):
We'll do it on here after.

Speaker 6 (13:00):
Oh yeah that I could do that.

Speaker 2 (13:01):
Also doing this podcast the day after as well. Those
are my own only two things that I'm doing.

Speaker 4 (13:07):
Remember me, there was a joke about James Cameron that
the same vein and everyone loved. Everyone was like, I mean,
it was a shocker.

Speaker 1 (13:17):
What's a word show? Do you remember? Wasn't it wasn't.

Speaker 4 (13:20):
Always about how the woman got away from him, like
was in a relationship for like three years and.

Speaker 3 (13:26):
Yeah, annoying.

Speaker 4 (13:27):
Yeah yeah, yeah, I.

Speaker 1 (13:29):
Recall this now now you say that.

Speaker 4 (13:31):
Yeah, it's a similar vein, And that joke was great.
I don't know, it got it did get up. But
I don't know if that's such a bad thing.

Speaker 5 (13:39):
I feel like with James Cameron that was on the show,
it wasn't a promo.

Speaker 3 (13:43):
She was there and he was there.

Speaker 4 (13:46):
I don't I don't know if he was.

Speaker 2 (13:47):
I haven't been following the controversy surrounding Zero Dark thirty,
But when it comes to torture, I trust the woman
who spent three years married to James Cameron. Sure that
was good, Yeah, yeah, right, yeah, I wrote Tina Amy. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (14:02):
But like James Cameron isn't like, you know, like struggling
with like mental health and addiction.

Speaker 3 (14:08):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (14:08):
That's the thing, is like the punchline of our joke
is a guy who's very publicly Yeah, but he James
Cameron is probably just a psychopath, you know, like he's
probably just has some kind of personality disorder.

Speaker 1 (14:20):
That we can have sympathy.

Speaker 5 (14:21):
Here spent six months of the year underwater, like tried
to find new OCTOPI.

Speaker 2 (14:27):
Like what people that are like. I was watching a
clip on Kimmel last night. It was Jeremy Strong was
on last night talking about, you know, how he thinks
takes things seriously, but he was, you know, kim Will
set him up to tell like a story, and then
he just started talking about, you know, someone who did
The granddaughter of Julius and Ethel Rosenberg, who were executed unfairly,

(14:50):
did a documentary about Roy Kohne, who he plays and
Roy Cohne was the guy who sent his grand her
grandparents to the electric chair, and she did a really
empathetic documentary about them, even though they obviously killed her grandparents,
but she was able to see him as a complex
character and hold him detest but also have empathy. And
he said, and it made me realize, you know what
I do. I take very seriously because the people there

(15:12):
are people on the other end of it, watching it
in theaters and watching it at home, and I take
them very seriously. And I've been accused of taking things
very seriously, but I do take them seriously. And he
just like stuck it like, I'm sorry, this is just
who I am. And I just love it. I can't
even make fun of it. I love it so much.
And so I commented, I take Jeremy Strong taking things seriously,
very seriously, because I do. And now I'm like, I'm
on board. And the still image that they used, you know,

(15:35):
like when you see a reel and it's like locked
on an image, it's of him kind of smirking, and
you watch the whole clip, and they it was a
millisecond that they found of his lip going up to
look like he was having a good time or like
you know, yeah, they found the only like it was
like a flash, you know how people have like flashes
of like emotions.

Speaker 6 (15:54):
They found the millisecond. It was really funny.

Speaker 5 (15:56):
I think people love making fun of him because they
themselves wish they could take what they do seriously. Yeah,
And like seeing somebody work really hard on something that
you find like frivolous is like you're like have some shame.

Speaker 1 (16:12):
Yes, that's how I feel when someone does a puzzle. Yeah,
what are you?

Speaker 6 (16:17):
Oh, puzzle confound me?

Speaker 3 (16:19):
Yeah, I'm not a puzzle person. I'm not.

Speaker 2 (16:21):
It seems like a real Like I'm like, was that
earning you anything? In this world? Like and puzzles don't
to me mean and I'm a three, so they don't
like prove your intelligence and any.

Speaker 1 (16:33):
You glued it together and framed it and then put
it up on the wall.

Speaker 2 (16:36):
Then I'm guessing COVID had it just happened again or
something like what? Why would I ever do it? Like
sometimes I'm with people that want to do puzzles and
it's it's it. I have anxiety over it because it's
so boring.

Speaker 5 (16:48):
Yes, I don't like self satisfaction. I like external validation.
So like a puzzle, like if you did a puzzle
and like waiting for somebody say, great job, you did
it right, Like, that's not gonna happen. It's not gonna
feel totally like I need. I need to create something
that people are like, that's really great.

Speaker 3 (17:07):
Well I'm a.

Speaker 6 (17:07):
Perfect example of this.

Speaker 2 (17:09):
There's a thing on the New York Times Crossword app
that's like a mini daily crossword and it's just like,
you know, it's a mini one it it could take
under a minute, and it could take under fifteen seconds
if you're super good at it. And I used to
I never was interested in doing it, because why would
you do it just so you can be like I'm fast,
but like then they created this thing called leaderboard and
you can invite your friends and then you compete every

(17:29):
day against your friends. I am so competitive. I like
before I even pull it up, I like take a
deep breath because you can't have one typo like yes, yeah,
I'm against Anya's sister is like changed our game because
I am against my sister, Emily, Anya, Chris.

Speaker 6 (17:47):
I forget who else is on it, but like, send
me a request.

Speaker 2 (17:50):
If you want to compete with me on it, even
though I don't think you can because you have my number.
But but Anya's sister is so good that I'm like
almost like she cheating, like how could this be? But
she's just like so fast, and it's like it's it's
changed my life, like it's made me so I'm so
into it every day.

Speaker 6 (18:07):
I wouldn't care at all unless it was competitive at all.

Speaker 3 (18:09):
I got twenty seven seconds on Tuesday.

Speaker 1 (18:12):
You're on Oh my god, I know Sean, And.

Speaker 5 (18:14):
I like brought it up to my wife when I
got home last night and like, did you do the many?

Speaker 3 (18:19):
I got it in twenty seconds?

Speaker 2 (18:21):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, come on, I want to look up
my time.

Speaker 6 (18:26):
I'm already competitive with you.

Speaker 1 (18:28):
I have a complaint I about this. I had the
New York Times Crossword games app and I was paying
for it, and I was like, oh, I love this,
And then New York Times advertised to me that you
can buy the New York Times app, which includes the
newspaper end games right.

Speaker 2 (18:43):
Oh and then sorry, it just opened the crossword and
the time start. Oh no, no, no no, I can't.

Speaker 3 (18:51):
I can't just burn.

Speaker 1 (18:52):
I'm never gonna catch up. That was so scary, sister.

Speaker 6 (18:55):
Now, oh, Tuesday, I bombed. You had twenty seven seconds
on Tuesday.

Speaker 3 (18:59):
As soon as I there was a lot of exit.

Speaker 2 (19:01):
You beat you beat the girl Maya's you beat Maya
Anya sister who has four I'm beaming right now. I
got one minute and thirty eight seconds. Chris got two
twenty one and he's really fast. That's amazing, Sean.

Speaker 5 (19:16):
Yeah, but I struggle every other day for some reason,
Like I was like, lock is.

Speaker 1 (19:20):
It's so fun.

Speaker 2 (19:21):
I really recommend people get at the mini. But and
it's free. I think, wait, so you got this app.

Speaker 1 (19:26):
And so now they advertised me the New York Times app,
which is a separate app. Yeah, you can buy. And
then you get like the newspaper, you get access to
the newspaper.

Speaker 6 (19:34):
Sure I have that one too, yeah, right.

Speaker 1 (19:36):
So but it also said you get access to the
games and the crossword puzzles. And so I was canceled
my crossword Puzzle New York Times app and I just
kept this one, like why would I have both? And
then and then I see that in the New York
Times app you can only play the crossword from that day,
so if you miss it, you can't go back to

(19:56):
like Mondays where you can actually finish it. And so
I was like, this is so now I'm going to
cancel my New York Times app just so you know,
if you're going to download that and pay for you're
not getting the full catalog of crossword puzzle.

Speaker 2 (20:09):
No, you need the catalog. I have never done September
eleventh one or September twelfth. Like sometimes I go back
to two thousand and one and I'm like, or big
days of news things, and I'm like someone like did
the crossword the day after September eleventh? Yea, and like
are there any clues that have anything in it? It
was it's really fun to go at in time.

Speaker 4 (20:25):
Wow.

Speaker 5 (20:26):
I mean there was probably somebody like sitting at their
desk doing that exactly.

Speaker 1 (20:29):
There was no computers either, one hundred percent. I would
think at.

Speaker 5 (20:33):
Least nineteenth po like I don't my brain doesn't turn
on till ten.

Speaker 2 (20:36):
Yeah, and they didn't have phone smartphones back then that
all they had was crossword puzzles.

Speaker 3 (20:40):
Yeah, like pen in their mouths, like thing.

Speaker 6 (20:43):
Oh no, what was that?

Speaker 3 (20:45):
What's that?

Speaker 6 (20:46):
What's that thing coming at?

Speaker 1 (20:48):
Oh?

Speaker 6 (20:49):
That's flying low?

Speaker 4 (20:50):
Oh god, I.

Speaker 1 (20:50):
Get a five letter word for about to die, a
thing that's about to kill us? Play yeah, plane, it's.

Speaker 4 (20:59):
Got to be a I know, with the Jeremy Strong
guy to sit there like all day in the in
the trailer and for because you're only acting for an
hour to.

Speaker 6 (21:09):
Roy Cone inside trailer.

Speaker 4 (21:12):
Oh, and you're like sitting next to him and you're like,
so how about the you know, the Jets today or whatever?

Speaker 1 (21:17):
And he's just like and I have so much fun
with it. I'd be like like, yeah, but I can
see why.

Speaker 4 (21:23):
Brian Brian Cox was the one that got annoyed, right,
because he's been acting for one hundred years and he's like, Okay,
it's not that series.

Speaker 5 (21:30):
People like they go to school and they're like, will
you act and it's a job, and like here, like
a method acting is such an American thing where it's
like if you have to like live the part, and
it's so foreign to them, being like you just go
and do it and then you leave and go home
and have like.

Speaker 3 (21:47):
A nice cottage.

Speaker 5 (21:48):
Yeah, Jeremy Strong is like, no, I'm living as a
gay lawyer in nineteen seventy three.

Speaker 1 (21:54):
Yeah, that's why method actors go nuts. That's why Daniel
day Lewis retired, even though he's the greatest actor of
all time. Yeah, he was method, and he just like,
I can't do this. I can't just do this every
day of my life. It's become someone else.

Speaker 5 (22:06):
It's so weird too, because like when you watch like
Robert de Niro on a talk show, he's like just
a husk of a person because like he you know,
like he puts everything into the character. But then he
has like nothing to talk about because he has not
lived a life.

Speaker 1 (22:19):
He has strong opinions about Kamala.

Speaker 3 (22:21):
He loves Trump.

Speaker 5 (22:23):
He hates Trump so much so much turns everything to do
with Trump.

Speaker 3 (22:27):
Like, yeah, he really At the beginning.

Speaker 5 (22:28):
Of Megapolis, there was a like a talk about what
this movie is, and Robert de Niro's one quote is
Donald Trump could never make Meg.

Speaker 4 (22:39):
Something must have happened in New York City with them too,
at like.

Speaker 1 (22:42):
A bar, at a fishing restaurant.

Speaker 4 (22:44):
Yeah, yeah, and Big timed him or his wife or something.
I don't know today.

Speaker 3 (22:49):
Donald Trump could absolutely make Megalappel.

Speaker 1 (22:55):
You saw it, right?

Speaker 2 (22:56):
Wait, I watched Amelia.

Speaker 1 (22:57):
We would probably have to go to break right, Oh
my god, I stopped saying attention.

Speaker 6 (23:01):
Yeah, let's do, we'll go to break.

Speaker 1 (23:03):
I'll tell you what I watched last night, after break.

Speaker 6 (23:05):
Yeah, seven minutes ago.

Speaker 1 (23:06):
Okay, we'll be back after that.

Speaker 2 (23:11):
Last night I watched half of Amelia Perez so so
two hours? No no, I yeah, it was so long.

Speaker 1 (23:21):
It's it's a musical, so there are allowed to be
a little longer.

Speaker 2 (23:24):
I guess I cannot believe this movie. And I'm guessing
ninety nine percent of our listeners have no idea what
I'm talking about.

Speaker 1 (23:31):
Have you heard of it?

Speaker 4 (23:32):
I tried, I started it. I can't read that much
and it's all Spanish. There's no English.

Speaker 6 (23:39):
No, there's somethingland it gets it.

Speaker 2 (23:40):
Oh yeah, it gets yeah, that's awlish. Campaign it gets
in English for people struggling.

Speaker 5 (23:48):
Let me know.

Speaker 1 (23:49):
It's interesting because when they go to China, the Chinese
doctor speaks at English.

Speaker 2 (23:54):
Oh right, yeah, I just here's my thing is that I,
Chris and I were confounded because we're like, is this
the way musicals are in Mexico, Like, because none of
the songs really sound like songs. They're just talking like this,
and then they took like this it says like doesn't
ever break into like a chorus, or it just seems
to all be versus.

Speaker 1 (24:15):
This movie has nothing to do with Mexico. In fact,
Mexicans hate French. Yeah, it's a French movie.

Speaker 6 (24:21):
Oh that explains ever.

Speaker 5 (24:22):
That is how French musicals are, Like, there's like it
explains everything, like them umbrellas of Schomberg and like a Girl,
the young girls of Rochefort like, which are amazing.

Speaker 2 (24:35):
It's even giving Omily, even though Omily is not a musical.

Speaker 5 (24:38):
Yeah, French, Like French movies always feel very French, Like
the substance feels French.

Speaker 2 (24:44):
That's as soon as you said that, I go, oh,
that's the thing Chris and I could not put our
finger on last night, was it's it's French. Yeah, because
it's it's okay, it's so if you don't know what
it is. It's about a drug cartel mob boss, got
guy in Mexico who hires a lawyer. Why I don't know,

(25:04):
because he wants to hire a lawyer. Zoey's al Donna
to find he wants to become a woman and he's
transgendered and he's desired. He's like this really gruff, terrifying
cartel leader and he kidnaps her and he's like, ye,
I want you to find me a doctor to perform
a sex change or you know, everything operation so I

(25:25):
can be a woman and then and then ever ever
you know, and then it happens, and then we see
their lives like play out after that. And it's a
musical also, and they break into song all every single
time they break into song, I forget it's a musical. Yeah,
there's never It's always jarring to me because they'll be
talking like this, and.

Speaker 6 (25:42):
Then they'll go but then this this, and then they'll start.

Speaker 2 (25:45):
And I go, what is why are they talking like that?
And I'm like, it's a musical.

Speaker 1 (25:48):
Like when they're in when Zoe Saldana is interviewing one
of the doctors that is so mad he starts singing singer. Yeah,
I just I always wanted Zoe to be like, why
are you talking like that?

Speaker 2 (25:59):
Yes? Yes, because what is this thing about?

Speaker 6 (26:02):
Like let's just put your lady like.

Speaker 2 (26:05):
Actually, I really ended up liking the doctor because it
seemed like a choice that he's not.

Speaker 6 (26:08):
A good singer.

Speaker 2 (26:10):
But why does every woman in a musical have to
be a good singer but every man can just be
shit wicked?

Speaker 3 (26:17):
Did that?

Speaker 5 (26:17):
Dude?

Speaker 1 (26:18):
That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (26:18):
I'm like, I'm kind of tired of this, Like the
women have to be these operatic superstars and then the
men can literally be bad singer.

Speaker 1 (26:26):
You're just thankful that the men agreed to be in
a musical.

Speaker 5 (26:28):
But no, I mean like even like La La Land,
like Ryan Gosling is bad and Emma Stone is like
she's got like the voice of an angel.

Speaker 6 (26:36):
Yeah, I don't get it.

Speaker 2 (26:37):
And also, when are we going to see Marie Collis
Angela Jolie singing opera? I'm dying to see this. Why
and why is everyone a good singer? How is everyone?
I'm serious, singing is really hard, Like we need to
give credit to actors who are suddenly good singers and
we didn't know about it because that shit's fucking hard
and acting.

Speaker 1 (26:57):
Growing up also took singing.

Speaker 6 (26:59):
Yes, makes sense to me.

Speaker 1 (27:01):
Do you ever know you might become either an actor
a serious actor, you might become a musical person.

Speaker 6 (27:05):
Ye kind of Okay, that makes sense.

Speaker 1 (27:07):
That's so I can't explain why I was a lawyer
that he chose because he needed an executor for the
estate because he was going to provide a trust to
his children after he disappeared.

Speaker 6 (27:16):
Okay, well, then riddle me this.

Speaker 2 (27:19):
Why why Sorry to everyone listening that hasn't seen this,
but you will also be confused by this. Why did
Selena Gomez straight up move in with this ant when
she has no idea? Like how did that happen? Where
he's always held on is just like you're moving in
with the ant and like Chelena Gomas just has.

Speaker 1 (27:33):
To I didn't get that far, so I don't know.

Speaker 6 (27:35):
Oh damn.

Speaker 5 (27:40):
Finish.

Speaker 2 (27:40):
Didn't you try watching it in your car when you
were driving and almost die?

Speaker 1 (27:44):
I was like, I started watching it in my car
to save time because I had a thirty minute drive
and not that I'm gonna be like paying attention to it,
but yeah, I didn't realize there was a subtitles movie.
I was like, I can't even watch this all.

Speaker 4 (27:54):
Watching that movie while driving impossible.

Speaker 6 (27:57):
Yeah, but even in a hands free car, it's possible.

Speaker 5 (28:01):
If you got into a car accident, the cop was
pick up your phone and like he killed himself.

Speaker 2 (28:09):
I just can't believe this got made and like anyone
signed on for it.

Speaker 1 (28:14):
It's just like it is.

Speaker 2 (28:16):
I'm compelled by it. I like it, but I'm I'm
just confused how things get made?

Speaker 1 (28:21):
Well, you know, I mean never mind.

Speaker 5 (28:23):
Definitely, it does feel like you're gonna say, now everything's
coming from like, uh, international funding, so you got that,
and like fr France is like, whatever is the most artistic,
let's do it.

Speaker 2 (28:36):
And then like it does feel like the opening ceremony
of movies. Yeah, like the Paris opening ceremony. Everyone's just like,
what's happening? Why are there jugglers on a quoat in
the sun with Sele?

Speaker 1 (28:48):
Yeah there was.

Speaker 5 (28:49):
But also it feels like for a movie to stand
out now, it has to be fucking batshit insane, right
to like, like I mean like this people stand out
like yeah, like for like a small movie that like
based on reading the premise, you're like, I'm never going
to watch.

Speaker 2 (29:05):
That, right, Like, but the conclave, they're picking a new pope.
That's very simple and that good luck getting through that movie.
And it's it's a great movie. I loved it, but
it you will fall asleep because it's so it's you're
in a Catholic church the whole time, and it's dark.
You're in you're sequestered with a bunch of popes, and
it's low tones, really dark. I kind of like, I'm

(29:26):
like into the Catholic Church now because of this movie.
Like I think it's good propaganda for them, because I like,
I like love.

Speaker 3 (29:31):
Rape Fine is the greatest actor.

Speaker 2 (29:34):
Like, he's just so amazing. And by the way, if
you're confused, maybe he ends up being evil in it.
I don't know because I haven't seen the last fifteen minutes.
But so if you're like, why do you love them?

Speaker 1 (29:43):
Watch so many movies, It's like, okay, I'll time to
finish them.

Speaker 6 (29:45):
I can't finish anything. I mean, yeah, but I did Challengers.

Speaker 1 (29:49):
I loved Yeah. Challengers was good.

Speaker 6 (29:51):
It was a fun romp.

Speaker 1 (29:53):
It was it going is uh remember the movie Whiplash? Yeah,
Challenges is Whiplash for women.

Speaker 5 (30:00):
You know, I saw Whiplash, but I know that I loved,
loved Whiblash. I love Challengers as well, but Whipblash JK.

Speaker 1 (30:08):
Simmons one of my favorite movies.

Speaker 3 (30:10):
JK. Simmons and Miles Teller and a drum Kit and
a drum Kid.

Speaker 1 (30:15):
Similar ending, Oh, the ending of Whiplash in fact similar
overall overall plot.

Speaker 5 (30:22):
No, it truly feels like the feeling I got from that.
I got goosebumps, but it felt like you come, like
and it just feels like you come.

Speaker 2 (30:31):
I love that. You know what I love in a
movie more than anything that I was realizing when I
was reading about I guess I think it was reading
Anthony jessel Nicks like some kind of piece on him
because he likes dark stuff and I've always and I'm like, yeah,
like I think I like that kind of stuff too.
But it was I love movies that don't have happy endings.
I the first time it started happening in my childhood

(30:52):
that I'm seeing movies that didn't have like Titanic. Titanic
was blue my mind that they don't get to be
together spoiler alert. It was like I loved it because
it felt so real and it felt like they It
just stuck with me. I love a movie that doesn't
resolve the way you wanted to. I hate going to movies.
That's why I loved Wicked because I was like looking

(31:13):
at my like I wasn't really looking at my watch
a little time because I didn't I don't want to
watch who does?

Speaker 6 (31:16):
But I wasn't checking the time that much.

Speaker 1 (31:18):
But I liked it.

Speaker 2 (31:20):
It was there's a part two coming because all the
things that seemed unresolved, I wasn't like, Okay, so they
got to make up again, and then we got to
see them fight.

Speaker 6 (31:27):
Like anytime a rom com, you're like, okay, they're happy.

Speaker 2 (31:30):
Wait, so I got to see them fight and then
I'm gonna see them make up, Like let's just get like,
let's just skip. I don't nothing interesting ever happens. It's
always the same formula. I hate when you like know
what you have to get through to get to the end.

Speaker 3 (31:41):
Yes, I want.

Speaker 5 (31:42):
I kind of want either no resolution or just like
a misdounter ending lost in translation.

Speaker 3 (31:48):
Yeah, Like I love.

Speaker 5 (31:50):
My favorite feeling after a movie is having to go
outside to like smoke a cigarette and like process what.

Speaker 1 (31:55):
I just say yes like that.

Speaker 4 (31:58):
I want to feel.

Speaker 3 (31:59):
I want movies to make me feel bad.

Speaker 1 (32:00):
That's how I felt after a Birdman. Yes, like what
the fuck?

Speaker 4 (32:07):
I mean like Bronx Tale, I felt that this Field Juliet.

Speaker 1 (32:12):
Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (32:14):
Oh because I was too young to have known like
what really happened in that play at the time. But
when she fucking when they when she shoots herself, Oh
my god, it's so good.

Speaker 3 (32:24):
I love the Leo Claire Dance.

Speaker 2 (32:26):
I think it's one of the best movies. Like maybe
I was so young and naive, but it was so good.
The way she sobs when she he's dead. He is
one of the best ever.

Speaker 3 (32:38):
It's like looks awesome.

Speaker 5 (32:40):
It just like looks like you're in like this heat
wave like in Florida. Yes, everything's yellow.

Speaker 3 (32:45):
T Jamie Kennedy's cool in It's amazing.

Speaker 1 (32:50):
What the hell man The Little Mermaid when Ursula loses,
it's so sad.

Speaker 6 (32:55):
Oh yeah, yeah, I'm just.

Speaker 1 (32:57):
Like a movie. I gotta recommend it. You must have
seen this movie is Cicario? Have you ever seen that?
I bet you Chris loves Cecario. I guarantee you go
to Chris and say, what do you think it's Ccario, Yes,
right now. So Cicario is a great movie that kind
of I don't want to say what happens at all,
but it's the verse expectations and that's why it's a
brilliant movie. And Thatscario. Two Day of the Soul of

(33:17):
DoD does the exact opposite, and it is not a
good movie.

Speaker 3 (33:20):
Yeah. I really did not like that one. I loved Caio, Emily.

Speaker 1 (33:23):
Emily Blunts the lead, and Benicio del Toro.

Speaker 3 (33:27):
Okay, but I loved and Noora really made me feel
like it was like a punch in the guy.

Speaker 5 (33:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (33:33):
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 (33:34):
In theater it was great. Yeah, so good.

Speaker 3 (33:37):
And it's really funny too.

Speaker 4 (33:39):
The bad guys when they would get hurt and they
felt human, Oh yeah, made it so fucking comical and
you're not expecting the comedy.

Speaker 3 (33:47):
Got some of the subtitle of.

Speaker 5 (33:49):
It when they're speaking our meeting, where it's like, God,
America sucks, I want to move back to our media.

Speaker 3 (33:54):
Yeah, I love it.

Speaker 1 (33:56):
I can't wait to see that. I'm glad I live
in I've lived in La because I really related to
the Armenians. I never knew any Armenians in New York.
When I moved to LA every single doctor or dentist
that I have is Armenian. And then when I was
in Glendale, everybody that went to the gym was Armenian.
I just feel like I intimately know Armenians.

Speaker 2 (34:17):
Now, yes, I love I'm That's why it's important to
be multicultural, to like, you have empathy when you're around people,
even if you think, oh, I would empathize even if
I don't know them.

Speaker 6 (34:28):
When you know people, no, it makes it easier to.

Speaker 5 (34:31):
For some people from my small town in New Jersey
do not empathize with anyone that isn't like white working class. Yeah,
and like I think, like yeah, like I'm like, uh,
I'm like a many United Nations.

Speaker 3 (34:45):
In my phone book.

Speaker 2 (34:47):
Oh I just got a call from rosean'ce podcast booker.
So that's happening.

Speaker 1 (34:51):
Yeah, oh wait, she called you. I thought it was
you contacting her.

Speaker 2 (34:57):
I think it was supposed to be I told or
don't don't expect me to respond until after the cour.

Speaker 1 (35:03):
Right because you're really busy. Right now, you said she
wanted to get into this morning Roseanne.

Speaker 6 (35:09):
Yeah, Roseanne, Yeah was Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (35:12):
During my set, it was the first time I ever
met Roseanne and she comes up to me from behind
and sees like the detail on my jacket and goes,
I want this.

Speaker 1 (35:21):
I want to do this.

Speaker 6 (35:22):
Did you do this?

Speaker 2 (35:23):
And I'm like, no, I am not crafty. She goes,
I want and she said to her friend, she goes,
I want this, and I was like, oh, you should
do it. It would look awesome when you're jacket and
Roseanne looks good.

Speaker 3 (35:32):
She looks good like and I like, it was very
interesting to see Roseanne in She's.

Speaker 6 (35:38):
An icon no matter what's going on with her today,
she's like.

Speaker 1 (35:43):
One of just the She's really nice, happy. Yeah. She
introduced herself to me and she had no reason to nice.
You said, are you going up?

Speaker 6 (35:50):
And I said no, Oh she's so cute.

Speaker 2 (35:53):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (35:54):
No, Roseanne was cool.

Speaker 5 (35:55):
She was. I saw her like smoking a bone outside
a cigarette yeah, and like she was smoking like she
had the vibe of somebody who like owns a casino floor.

Speaker 4 (36:06):
Yeah, but it's falling apart, yeah, like this rocks.

Speaker 2 (36:11):
And I heard her laughing during my set very loudly,
like distractingly loud.

Speaker 3 (36:15):
I think people in Glendale heard her.

Speaker 1 (36:20):
She's having a good time. I it must be interesting
being Roseanne. Like being Roseanne is like being like Shack
or something. We're just everywhere you go, every single person
is like, is that you're constantly being pointed at? Probably? Yeah,
it's like a different level than like than like Nikki.
It's like, yeah, we walk into a room and every
single person is like, oh my god, that's blah blah blah,

(36:40):
and there's like they're not even a person anymore.

Speaker 2 (36:42):
I always think that I was watching Jennifer Lawrence through
the curtain at that women's event I did last week,
like because I was backstage waiting for everyone to sit down,
which they would not fucking sit down, like all.

Speaker 6 (36:51):
These women at this luncheon.

Speaker 2 (36:52):
I had to like go out and open the show,
and they keep saying telling them, please take your seats.
It will be beginning soon. It's an half hour after's
supposed to start. No one's hearing the voice, and then
the boy starts getting like please please take your seats,
and then they just start playing the music and going
Nicky Glazer everyone and I walk out and I'm like, no, no,
I'm not looking out. It's first of all, they didn't
dim the lights and everyone's still standing. Yeah, like literally

(37:14):
and right, Nicole Kidman, Jennifer Lawrence, and uh Ani Kendrick
are all taking pictures right in front of the podium,
standing up and having a conversation when I'm supposed to
stay my opening.

Speaker 6 (37:23):
Yeah, yes, because it said welcome Nicki Glazer.

Speaker 1 (37:27):
I was like, oh God, you should watch. John mulaney
had to do the same thing. I forgot what the awards.
Was it the DGA or something, Yeah it was, I
remember it was last week. Came out and he had
to tell people to sit down for like a good
three minutes and that's all on tape.

Speaker 6 (37:41):
Hilarious.

Speaker 1 (37:42):
He did do it in a funny way.

Speaker 3 (37:44):
I forgot it.

Speaker 6 (37:44):
I just can't be funny when I'm angry.

Speaker 1 (37:47):
We haven't talked about this on the podcast. You have
maybe not? Yeah, what did you do?

Speaker 2 (37:51):
It was called the Hollywood Reporters Power one hundred Women's
Breakfast Luncheon, Breakfast Sure Breakfast Gala, the Search for Curly's
Gold part.

Speaker 1 (38:03):
That was my joke.

Speaker 6 (38:04):
It was like the longest thing and it was at
eight am.

Speaker 1 (38:06):
God, that's the biggest crime.

Speaker 2 (38:08):
I'm not even kidding you. I think I would have
turned it down, I know. And that was the time like,
you just would you agree to a gala? And he
says breakfast. You assume maybe eleven or something like it
was being there at eight and then openings. Then they asked,
so they tell you you're a Women's Hunt, You're a
part of the one of the hundred. Yes, that's the
first thing I got, and I go, oh, very cool. Great,

(38:28):
that'll be a cool event to go do there, Like
it's a big press event every lots of famous people.

Speaker 6 (38:32):
Great, I'm so honored.

Speaker 2 (38:33):
Then a week before because they definitely asked, Chris Conby,
who produces things, uh you know, confirmed that they definitely
went out to other people when they got turned down.
So then they finally went to you and asked if
you would do the opening remarks. Chelsea Handler had done it,
Will Ferrell had done it for some reason. Who else
had done it? Yeah, it was Molly Shannon did it.

Speaker 1 (38:55):
Instead.

Speaker 2 (38:55):
They sent me all yeah, so they sent me all
their monologues. They go, you need to do ten minute
or two minutes. And I looked and everyone's done like
eight to eleven minutes. Yeah, And I'm like, oh god.

Speaker 1 (39:05):
And then so then I.

Speaker 2 (39:06):
Wait till you know, Bob, Bob and Sean helped me
write it, and it's you know, we're bogged down with
golden globe stuff and like everything else, and so it
was just waited until the last night to really start
working on it. And it was like eight o'clock at night,
and then I also had to do four s.

Speaker 1 (39:24):
That's doing golden globe stuff. You helped as well. Yeah,
you didn't help with that, but no, you.

Speaker 6 (39:28):
Were weighing in on it.

Speaker 1 (39:28):
I was around, we were doing golden globe stuff, and then.

Speaker 6 (39:31):
I was also like, guys, I gotta work on this speech.

Speaker 2 (39:34):
I have to give in four hours and then you
because I have to read the prompter at seven.

Speaker 6 (39:39):
I had to be there at the Beverly Hills Hotel.

Speaker 2 (39:42):
Is that where I was at seven to run prompter,
which means I have to be in here and make
up at four thirty. And I went to bed I
think at three after staying up after the sets all
night to like work on the monologue. And then I'm
in hair makeup with my laptop working on it. And
it ended up being good, but it was just like
you get there. At my table was Pam Anderson, Julia Fox,

(40:04):
Anna Kendrick, Kathy Bates, Kathy Bates was I didn't and
Emily was my plus one. Gen ZM cool and she
told me afterwards that and gen ZM got killed by
one of the waiters at seven. Why he was just
like he was like a very friendly guy and he
wasn't bad looking.

Speaker 6 (40:22):
She was like, that waiter just ask for my number.

Speaker 1 (40:24):
I was like no, she was like not no.

Speaker 2 (40:27):
But then I realized he was just his energy was weird.

Speaker 3 (40:33):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (40:34):
I gave the opening remarks.

Speaker 2 (40:36):
It went well, but it felt to me like a
C minus because it just felt like I stumbled over
some of the lines. I just even though I rehearsed
a million times, and like, you know, instead of getting
a picture with Jennifer Lawrence, I'm back reading the prompter
like I could have mingled, Like I didn't get I
didn't get any like pictures with famous people, and like
because I did opening remarks, I didn't get to have
any of like the the glitz and glamour of it.

(40:56):
I mean, I did the red carpet, but I was
like I missed out on some stuff. But anyway, and
then after I give the speech, I was like, it's
this weird thing when you have to like open something
and then you have to hang out. Like I love.
If I'm doing meet and greets, I like to do
them before the show in case I bomb. I don't
have to like see anyone. I don't want to like
sit down after I do something and have people have
to like tell me good job when I didn't do
a good job. And so I felt like I bombed.

(41:17):
But Anna Kendrick was next to me and was like,
how does it feel to have just killed in this room?
And I was like, really, like, she's just being nice.
And then and I'm sitting there just like wanting to
shove all the avocado toast at the table down my
throat because I'm just like nervous and like anxious, and
I'm like I want to binge.

Speaker 6 (41:31):
And no one's eating their avocado toast.

Speaker 1 (41:33):
It's crazy.

Speaker 6 (41:34):
No one's touching at any of it.

Speaker 2 (41:36):
It's the biggest ways of avocado toast in the history
of of avocados.

Speaker 1 (41:41):
It was crazy. Even avocado toast, you think that would
be something.

Speaker 6 (41:44):
It's just an awkward thing to eat because you have
to pick up the whole thing.

Speaker 2 (41:47):
I love a phone to cut it with a knife,
and then you're like the woman cutting avocado toast with knife.

Speaker 1 (41:54):
Everyone's taking pictures of you. You gotta be careful.

Speaker 2 (41:56):
Avoca, and people are crying about women leadership and wrapper
and ethnicity and in film, and you're like like it,
like it's not the everyone's quiet and then there's applause,
but when it's applause, you have to stand up and applaud.
You can't be eating the toast, so anytime there's a
loud moment, you can't even eat. So anyway, but I'm
like kind of like ough, I kind of just bombed,

(42:16):
like not bombed, but I just like it wasn't what
I wanted it to be. And and I'm not really
paying attention. I'm kind of just like trying to text
on my phone to Chris, like that was really awkward.
I just want to get out of here, like I
feel so embarrassed. And the woman that's like runs the
event or is like she kind of looks at me
and smiles, and I'm like, oh, does she like me?
Like I was trying not to make eye contact with her.
She was like an older woman that I'm like, she

(42:37):
probably like is disgusted that I said anal bleaching like
at her lunch, her cruncheon, and she kind of like
smiled at me, and I'm like, oh, maybe she doesn't
hate me, like or maybe that was a sympathy. But
then first of all, Julia Fox at her table, I
did see this. She is filming everyone that gets up
to speak like a proud mom, like holding the phone
like I'm like suming in and like so excited and

(42:57):
just like perfect, you know, and just cheering everyone on.

Speaker 1 (43:01):
It was really really cute.

Speaker 2 (43:02):
She was adorable and I got to meet her beforehand
and got to tell her how much she means to me.

Speaker 1 (43:07):
I think I love her.

Speaker 2 (43:08):
She's I think very inspiring to someone who's just like
being She's very very Jeremy strong.

Speaker 5 (43:12):
The world needs Julia Fox's yes, like you need somebody
please who were like it's like she kind of has
her hand in every little pot, but like she doesn't
have like a thing.

Speaker 3 (43:23):
She's just Julia Fox.

Speaker 2 (43:25):
Yes, And she's just like I feel like she's she's
there's there's a lot of effort going in in terms
of fashion and like, uh, her her appearance, and I guess,
but it's like it also is like she's doing it
for her, Like she even said she bleached her eyebrows
because she realized it was the one thing men like
are disgusted by when they see a woman without eyebrows.
So she did it on purpose to have men be

(43:45):
like repulse byra. And I kind of loved that, yeah,
because she's just been you know, hurt too many times or.

Speaker 6 (43:50):
Whatever it was.

Speaker 2 (43:51):
But she was like, I just make and then she
realized like being skinny is something that men desire. She
she's like, I wanted to get fat because I just want,
like I mean, obviously you know this probably trauma response,
but I just kind of liked that whole She's just
like badass. Anyway, Emily was sitting between me and Kathy
Bates and she who Bates was no, she said that
woman that ranting up, Yeah, she was.

Speaker 6 (44:17):
In misery at the stable to she couldn't believe it.

Speaker 1 (44:20):
What was the result of this?

Speaker 2 (44:22):
So then I got up front. So then the event
ends after Nicole Kidman speaks to Selena Gomez speaks, Jennifer
Lawrence speaks, and I got up and it so many
people come up to me and was like that was incredible,
like in a way that I couldn't deny that it
was good.

Speaker 6 (44:36):
So it was felt I felt good that because I
was like, I.

Speaker 2 (44:39):
Want to be Lyne out of here. I don't want
to talk to anyone, like I'm so embarrassed. Like it
wasn't that I didn't want to talk to anyone. I
didn't want anyone to feel like.

Speaker 6 (44:44):
They had to be nice to me.

Speaker 2 (44:46):
So I was kind of like walking with my head
down like Emily just follow behind quickly, and then people
were stopping, like Molly Simms came up to me and
was like, that was insane. I'm obsessed with you. There
were so many like I'm obsessed with you moments like
that was amazing.

Speaker 6 (44:57):
You had me dying.

Speaker 2 (44:58):
And apparently I made Nicole I had been laughed really hard,
and oh, I made a joke that you know, I'm
in the Hollywood one hundred and I said, oh, what
ranking are mine? They're like, that's it's not a ranking.
You guys are all equal, and I go, oh, in
that case, can I said in Nicole Covin's table, And
that's when the correspondence ended. It was something and she

(45:19):
really loved it, even though I was right next to
her table and I got to I think she did
eat her avocado toast, which I.

Speaker 1 (45:24):
Thought was fucking bad ass, this is an amazing honor.
And also it's really good because now you're gonna have
some really solid good will at the Golden Globes in
the right move.

Speaker 2 (45:35):
Even though I like wish I wouldn't have said yes
to it because I was I didn't sleep for like
three days and I felt insane, and that meant I
cried in a photo shoot later that day because I
just like couldn't handle it anymore. I was just like
I can't, Like I was just weakened, you know, when
you like haven't slept her, just insane. But but in
the end it was good because now at the Golden
Globes there will be smattering of people know.

Speaker 6 (45:59):
What I'm capable of, are rooting for me and or
yeah it'll be.

Speaker 1 (46:02):
Yeah Nicole Kivin may laugh again.

Speaker 2 (46:04):
And like that.

Speaker 4 (46:06):
And you only had two minutes, so you didn't have time.

Speaker 6 (46:09):
To and I did like seven yeah, yeah, yeah, because
you end up doing.

Speaker 3 (46:13):
More the videos online you crushed.

Speaker 1 (46:14):
Like that's so nice, but yeah, where can you find
the video?

Speaker 2 (46:17):
You just like googled Nicky Glazer speech Hollywood Women's one hundred.

Speaker 1 (46:21):
Oh, google all that and it comes up.

Speaker 2 (46:23):
Yeah, thhr is a good Yeah, nicky speech.

Speaker 3 (46:28):
H slash.

Speaker 6 (46:29):
Yeah you can find it if you really want it,
you can find it.

Speaker 5 (46:32):
But it's great, Like you did such a great job
and thank you. I'm not just saying this because you said.

Speaker 1 (46:37):
Thank you for your help on it.

Speaker 2 (46:40):
Oh my god, I like, I am so grateful too,
because I was when we were at the improv working
on it and I was about to go on stage
and do golden globes jokes, but like we're I was
just what did I didn't I say to you I
want to die?

Speaker 3 (46:51):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (46:52):
You said right before you went on stage, you said
either I want to die or want to kill myself.

Speaker 6 (46:56):
And I think I said I want to die. It
was more of like I wanted something else.

Speaker 1 (46:59):
I don't think you heard what I was like, don't
do it. Until January sixth.

Speaker 2 (47:05):
I was really so tired and I just saw the
amount like it's like it's like it honestly was like
do you ever have nightmares that papers are due or
tests are due or something like? It felt like a
nightmare of like I have to get this thing done
by the morning. I don't see how.

Speaker 6 (47:18):
I'm just not When I don't see sleep ahead of me.

Speaker 2 (47:20):
I start getting really angry and sad, but we got
it done and it's over, and and I can't wait
for Kimmel to be over because I'm feeling that same
thing of like, I have a lot of work ahead
of me today to figure out what I'm gonna do,
but it'll all be okay. And then tomorrow I get
to go to New Hampshire. Amazing And honestly, I told
Chris today, I was like, this weekend is like days off.

(47:42):
Even though I'm traveling and dorm shows, it feels like
completely like.

Speaker 6 (47:46):
I have shows on the I get to get out
of the.

Speaker 2 (47:51):
And every photo shoot and every glam sash.

Speaker 6 (47:53):
It's gonna be great. Okay, we'll take a break.

Speaker 2 (47:56):
We'll come back to this.

Speaker 6 (48:00):
Final thought. Did you guys see that I was New
York Times Comedian.

Speaker 1 (48:03):
Of the Year. Yes, Oh that's what that was of
the year. Yes, whoa thing?

Speaker 2 (48:09):
Because people keep saying I didn't. I don't read things
about me, so I just see the press. Emily's like
girl slay queen. Look what just came through?

Speaker 1 (48:16):
Wait a second at this And I posted blindly at
the store last night, one of the comedians said, how
does it feel to be Comedian of the year.

Speaker 6 (48:23):
Yes, that's a literal thing.

Speaker 1 (48:25):
I thought they were just saying that because you really
did like win the year. No, but they met literally New.

Speaker 6 (48:30):
York Times Comedian of the Year.

Speaker 2 (48:31):
And I go, because I said to Emily this morning,
I was like, I feel like we need to make
a post about this because it's like I want to
just it's not even to be like, look what I am.
I like the guy who wrote it like put a
lot of effort into it, and it's like it is
a big honor that I need to like acknowledge the
people that gave it to me. And I go, but
where does it say Comedian of the Year. And she's
like right below your name? And I'm like, why is

(48:52):
this even a I didn't even was this a thing.

Speaker 1 (48:54):
I'm gonna look it up. I want to see who
else was it must be No, in.

Speaker 6 (48:58):
The past, there's other people that are like kind of
talked about this year is that.

Speaker 1 (49:03):
I could have possibly been a Comedian of the Year.
But they make special yeah, special of the year.

Speaker 3 (49:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (49:09):
Like yeah, So since I have the New York Times
app that I pay for, I can see all the
history of New York.

Speaker 2 (49:15):
Oh my god, amazing because I don't recall this being
a thing that because I would have obviously been jealous
of whoever had been crowned it before, and.

Speaker 1 (49:22):
I will be. They have a December fifth, twenty twenty
three Best Comedy. It seems like maybe Jim Gaffigain was
Comedian of the Year in twenty three, but they just
list them as best special. They don't say Comedian of
the Year.

Speaker 6 (49:38):
Yeah, I think this is a new thing.

Speaker 3 (49:39):
Yeah, this is kind of the year. You're the first
comedian of the year.

Speaker 2 (49:43):
That's so nice, and it immediately I'm sad because I
can't be next year.

Speaker 5 (49:48):
Is that?

Speaker 6 (49:49):
Does that ever heard of it?

Speaker 4 (49:50):
Anyone?

Speaker 2 (49:50):
Like that? Like I can't like I hate the day
after my birthday. I hate the day after Christmas, Like
I hate that. It's like I don't like getting things
because it means I can't get them.

Speaker 3 (50:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (50:00):
No, my son just dealt with this, like for the
first time a choir class, he got star student and
then the next week I.

Speaker 3 (50:06):
Was like, he was like, I'm not going to be
a star student this week, and it's like it's.

Speaker 2 (50:13):
Three it works, like sorry, I can't stand it. Like,
and the thing is, I would never have dreamed of
being Comedian of the Year. Like in the years past,
if I would have seen that, I would have been like, man,
that just sucks that I'm just not talented enough to
ever even be considered. Like it wouldn't have even been
a thought of mine that I could have it, Like
I'm not like, man, I want that to be me.
It's just like, man, I wish I was born more
talented that even could be considered that. That's what my

(50:35):
thought would have been. There are some things that I
look at and I go, why did they get that?
I want that, I deserve that, But this title I
would have never thought.

Speaker 1 (50:42):
But it is.

Speaker 2 (50:43):
It's very nice, but it immediately I'm like, next year,
it's going to be someone else because it can't be
me again, And what's the point of keeping trying?

Speaker 5 (50:50):
And isn't this the beauty of just being alive? Is
getting like honored, bestowed this honor of being the comedian
of the Year, and like you can't truly enjoy it
because you're just looking ahead.

Speaker 2 (51:01):
But does it does other pep to other people feel
this way about like when you find let's say, like
you know, one big pursuit in life is finding your
forever person. So like after you get married, is there
a little bit of like I can't find my forever
person again, like I'll never get married again.

Speaker 6 (51:16):
I mean like you could.

Speaker 1 (51:17):
I mean I didn't feel that. I just felt relief.

Speaker 3 (51:20):
Yeah. Really that's.

Speaker 6 (51:24):
Interesting.

Speaker 2 (51:24):
I guess I do start now feel that way about Chris,
like and I think before I was a little bit
like scared of like I'll never have a crush on
anyone again or like you're not that crushes Yeah, but
I mean like not one that I can act on,
because that's like that's what causes you to feel excitement,
is like oh my god, our hands are touching weight?
Are we gonna kiss later? Like that's all the thing
that and you kind of just close that chapter. But like,
I don't know, there's I think that it's not just

(51:49):
me in this position of like this kind of a
ward feeling that I think I feel this all the time,
of like oh I can't get that again.

Speaker 1 (51:56):
Yeah, well you could. I mean you said top this year, No,
I have to go away.

Speaker 2 (52:01):
I have to be like canceled or something that when
I'm like seventy two, I can get that.

Speaker 3 (52:04):
Yeah, And then I just.

Speaker 1 (52:05):
Did some very basic research, but it does seem like
this was the first ever Comedian of the Year, which
means that you were the first one to get it.
And to quote Lebron James, who the Lakers last, You
know what I'm gonna say, No, you just heard Lebron James.
I love Lebron.

Speaker 3 (52:24):
Yes.

Speaker 1 (52:25):
So, last year in the NBA they did the first
ever in season tournament where they give out a trophy
and then a lot of the players get money that
don't normally get money, and even coaches, and the Lakers won.
Lebron James is on the Lakers and he said, records
can be broken. Any of my records can be broken.
There's only one thing that you can never break, and
that's being first. And they were the first ones to win,

(52:45):
and that will never be taken away from Oh, and
you're the first one to everyone.

Speaker 6 (52:49):
I really like that that no one will ever be
able to get that.

Speaker 1 (52:51):
No, you're the first.

Speaker 6 (52:52):
Oh that's good.

Speaker 2 (52:53):
I'm also the first solo woman to host the Golden Globes,
which is I think really funny. Yeah, first I do
get alone, like she'd be Okay, I'm gonna talk about
it on a Kimmel tonight.

Speaker 1 (53:03):
I think that's just so funny to be like, yeah.

Speaker 2 (53:06):
Why is that even accomplishment? Like it seems like something
in like the nineteen twenty eight so they first like
things alone? Yeah, well think about the first woman to
ever fly cross.

Speaker 6 (53:18):
Oh my god, I'm gonna be eating by coconut crabs.

Speaker 1 (53:21):
I think that's what happens to me.

Speaker 6 (53:23):
But yeah, I'm I'm trying to think of like things.

Speaker 1 (53:25):
Maybe you come out with a life preserver or like
I want to just.

Speaker 2 (53:28):
Come out with like my keys between my fingers, like
you know, like walking to your car alone, like as
a woman, like.

Speaker 4 (53:34):
Yeah, what what do you do with cardboard cutout? There's
something maybe you're holding another woman?

Speaker 2 (53:40):
And there are there are some times where I look
at Tina Namy's monologue and I'm like, man, it would
be nice to have another person because there's that that
it's just a fun device to who would.

Speaker 1 (53:49):
Be who is Nikky's amy to Tina? Mm, it would
be Rachel Feinstein.

Speaker 6 (53:55):
Yeah, that would be fun. That would be fun. I
trying to think. I mean, I would take anyone.

Speaker 2 (54:00):
Jennifer Lawrence would be a really fun one, I think
because she is already like looked at as like a
comedic figure.

Speaker 6 (54:06):
I think that would be so fun.

Speaker 4 (54:08):
Yes, I would feel like that would be harder to
write for a too.

Speaker 2 (54:11):
Prov It would be harder because I would have to
deal with her, like her team and what like. I
would just want to write it and be like, Jen,
will you just breathe?

Speaker 3 (54:20):
I don't want to.

Speaker 1 (54:21):
I don't want to work with you on this.

Speaker 2 (54:24):
No, she I would, but I think that would be
an interesting But now that I'm doing it, soul, I
don't want.

Speaker 1 (54:28):
What about you? And like James Franco, would you do that?

Speaker 2 (54:31):
I can't believe they did that one year.

Speaker 3 (54:34):
It was fun that they met for the first time
on stage.

Speaker 6 (54:41):
All right, five minutes? Anything else to discuss?

Speaker 1 (54:44):
Well you, uh, well, I'm I'm going to go to
hypnotherapy to mine. So that's good. Stay tune. This working.
I hope it works. My only hope for clenching a night.

Speaker 4 (54:59):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (54:59):
I ever, one who talks to me about hypnotizing myself
says that it worked for them or their friend or
their aunt.

Speaker 5 (55:05):
I've never heard somebody say hypnosis didn't work on them,
like yeah, but I guess yeah, Like so it's it
seems like it has one hundred percent success.

Speaker 2 (55:14):
Yeah, and that's what I have to believe work and
if it doesn't, just go to a different one.

Speaker 3 (55:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (55:19):
So my my hypno therapist. I am very hopeful, but
they have an accent that is I don't know if
it's like Austrian or something, but for whatever reason, I
feel like hypnot therapists should have like a soothing voice
that gets you like sleepy, like a Sam Harris type
or something, and this person's voice, it just like doesn't

(55:41):
soothe me to my core. And I'm a little worried
about that.

Speaker 6 (55:44):
When I got hypnotized and did that like did she
did that past life?

Speaker 1 (55:47):
Bullshit? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (55:48):
She literally had the spinning a wheel spinning that I
had to look at like, yeah, I just felt my
struggle was like giving in to that, like believing that
this is a thing, and like you're you feel the
struggle in your mind of like like buy into it
or like or be cynical of it. Yeah, And I
kept trying not to be cynical, but then I felt

(56:09):
stupid whenever I wouldn't be. But I think it was
because this woman was so wacky. Because I went in
being like I want this to work so bad, but
I just couldn't let go because she was just she's
she just seemed so she's digging through her purse.

Speaker 6 (56:22):
She like can't get things going.

Speaker 2 (56:24):
She puts the wheel right in front of me and
then she goes, that's too close, and then she's putting
she's propping it up on bull cooks like.

Speaker 1 (56:29):
It was just yeah, and so I just put it
like that subconscious.

Speaker 2 (56:32):
Yeah, and because I was like, I don't want to
be like, I don't want to be defenseless with this woman. Yeah,
you didn't feel like I don't feel comfortable.

Speaker 1 (56:39):
Yeah, I have to say I had a consultation with
this woman and she she was very comforting and I
do trust her. Just the voice. I'm like, I think
my subconscious is going to reject it because it's like, no,
I don't say that.

Speaker 3 (56:52):
Yeah, when in history has an Austrian person done.

Speaker 1 (56:57):
Yeah, you know she's Austrian.

Speaker 6 (57:03):
What time tomorrow are you doing this?

Speaker 1 (57:04):
Actually it's not tomorrow. What it is tomorrow if you're
listening to Friday, Yes, is on Friday. That's but yeah,
I mean her name is very strange. I don't want
to say it on on the podcast until she's not good,
but her name is very strange, and that to me,
makes me think that she might be good at this.

Speaker 6 (57:23):
Wait can I see her name?

Speaker 3 (57:24):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (57:24):
You don't even know. I'm going to show you my phone.
It has a bunch of words on it. You're not
even to know which of those words is her name?

Speaker 4 (57:31):
Is there like a Yelp kind of review?

Speaker 2 (57:33):
Like?

Speaker 4 (57:33):
Are there reviews that you can see for her?

Speaker 2 (57:36):
I'm looking at Okay, what that is a crazy name? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (57:39):
I have to alm.

Speaker 6 (57:41):
It sounds like a prostate medicine.

Speaker 4 (57:44):
Yeah, I like a sound that you would relax to.

Speaker 6 (57:49):
Sounds like a mon.

Speaker 4 (57:52):
Whatever works.

Speaker 1 (57:53):
I'm a very impressionable person.

Speaker 2 (57:54):
But this is the thing I learned last night that
perhaps because he gets really can I say that you
get depressed if you he wears a mouth guard because
he has to wear a mouthguard, and if he wears
a mouthguard to stop the grinding, which the grinding causes
insane pain for him, so he has to wear a mouthguard.
But if he wears a mouthguard, he wakes up insanely depressed.

(58:17):
Everyone knows why this would be. And he he thinks
that maybe grinding your teeth is a thing that we
do to release dopamine throughout the low and.

Speaker 6 (58:27):
To lower cortisols.

Speaker 2 (58:28):
So when he's not grinding, he is insanely like the
wildly depths of depressed, depressed.

Speaker 1 (58:34):
When he wakes up in it like in a man
almost manics, that's all day. Yeah, and yeah, it's all this.
I have all the symptoms of low dopamine.

Speaker 2 (58:41):
So he's either in extreme pain from grinding or he's
in extreme pain from low dopamine.

Speaker 6 (58:47):
So he's has to stop grinding.

Speaker 1 (58:49):
I have to stop. It's clenching. Really, it's not even
the grinding.

Speaker 2 (58:52):
So if anyone has any insight into that, yeah, because
that's crazy to like a mouthguard would cause depression.

Speaker 1 (58:58):
It makes sense, I mean, but it could also All
my psychosomatic tools that have worked for every single other
thing I've ever had, don't work for this, for this problem.

Speaker 6 (59:08):
I wonder if there's an Alan carrbook, if you.

Speaker 4 (59:10):
Tried using the mouthpieces, like maybe during the day, maybe
you get used to it so it's not.

Speaker 1 (59:14):
Just yeah a little bit. Yeah, No, I've I've tried.

Speaker 2 (59:16):
He's tried like seven different mouth guards, seven.

Speaker 1 (59:18):
Mouth guards, and I forced myself to you. And the
thing about it is the last mouthguard I had, especially,
is incredibly comfortable. It's like the most comfortable mouthguard I've
ever had. I can sleep in it, fine, I fall
right asleep. I liked it. But then I would wake
up and I would have all of these.

Speaker 6 (59:32):
Hard how the mattress going? Is that saga?

Speaker 1 (59:35):
The mattress was definitely a similar issue where I have
a psychosomatic obsession with.

Speaker 4 (59:41):
This agency every time.

Speaker 1 (59:43):
Yeah, but no, I just decided the way I solve
that problem was I just was like, I need to
buy the most normal mattress I can find. And then
to say, everybody is fine with this mattress.

Speaker 2 (59:52):
You can't, right, you can't complain about this because of
so many people being fired.

Speaker 1 (59:56):
Everyone is fine, this is in hotels, this is people
just this is fine. If you can't get used to this.

Speaker 6 (01:00:00):
Mattress, that's a really good device to do to normalize
for it.

Speaker 1 (01:00:04):
And then the second thing I did was I said,
and you're not buying another one, so this is it.
This is a good mattress.

Speaker 6 (01:00:10):
You're on the right path. Yeah, Brian, I feel like
this is gonna work.

Speaker 3 (01:00:13):
Yeah. Yeah, me too.

Speaker 6 (01:00:14):
Oh my god, it has to.

Speaker 1 (01:00:16):
It's going to do.

Speaker 2 (01:00:17):
Not get held up by her name and her accents.
Oh no, just trust no, no, I feel because I actually,
that's the name of a hypnotist. That's right, that's a
crazy name.

Speaker 5 (01:00:26):
That's right, that's she learns she went to university.

Speaker 2 (01:00:33):
That is the name of a professor. All Right, we
gotta go.

Speaker 6 (01:00:37):
Thank you guys so much for listening to the podcast.

Speaker 2 (01:00:39):
I'll see you in New Hampshire and Vermont this weekend
and then tour dates resume again. That will be my
last tour dates of twenty twenty four. It's been a
great tour. Thank you all the besties for coming out.
And then I'll see you again in twenty twenty five
on that epic tour that you need a magnifying glass
to like read any of the dates, so check that
out Nikki.

Speaker 1 (01:00:58):
Glazer dot com.

Speaker 2 (01:01:00):
Thank you, Brian, Sorry yik, Brian, Sean and Andrew. Thank
you for being here and we'll see you next time.

Speaker 6 (01:01:07):
We'll be to bye.

Speaker 2 (01:01:08):
The Nicki Glazer Podcast is a production by Will Ferrell's
Big Money Players and iHeart Podcasts. Created and hosted by
me Nicki Glazer, co hosted by Brian Frangie, Executive produced
by Will Ferrell, Hans Sonny and Noah Avior. Edited it
engineered by Lean and Loaf video production Mark Canton and
music by Anya Marina. You can now watch full episodes

(01:01:29):
of the Nicki Glazer podcast on YouTube, follow at Nicki
Glazer pod and subscribe to our channel

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Host

Nikki Glaser

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}#496 Nikki Glaser NYT Comedian of the Year, Hollywood Events & Expectations