#504 When You Should Lie to Friends, A Gentle Vegan & Will Nikki Fix Her Pelvic Tilt Finally?

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Nicky Glaizer Podcastiser.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
Here's Nikki.

Speaker 1 (00:11):
Hello, here, I am welcome to the show. It's Nicky
Glazer Podcast. What's up everyone, Brian, Noah, how are you?

Speaker 3 (00:19):
Hello? We're doing fine. We're both doing fine. How are
you well?

Speaker 1 (00:23):
You don't speak for Noah, how dare you?

Speaker 4 (00:25):
I was drinking, Okay, I'm fine.

Speaker 2 (00:30):
Yeah, that's all I text Brian. I'm fine, I'm fine.

Speaker 1 (00:33):
Anyone said I'm fine, and it's been not like I'm fine.
It means not good.

Speaker 4 (00:38):
Oh yeah, yeah, it's fine. This is why English is
such a difficult language to learn, because people none of
the words mean what they actually mean.

Speaker 1 (00:46):
I'm fine, and it's it's tone obviously, or girl, you're fine,
Oh yeah, oh you're fine. Like fine is like oh,
don't worry about you're fine, or it's like you look fine.

Speaker 4 (00:59):
You say to something in hospice that they're fine. Yeah,
I don't fine, Yeah you'd be fine. Everything's going to
be fine.

Speaker 1 (01:05):
I really I use that tone a lot. I really
try to like make people feel better about things they're
worried about by being like, come, yeah, it's fine. It's different.
I love going it's fine. Who literally who cares?

Speaker 4 (01:20):
I think that's a great tone. Sometimes I'm looking for
that tone when I feel like I did something wrong
or there's something that's going to be a catastrophe.

Speaker 1 (01:26):
I know people are I am too, That's why I
give it. I try to give it as much as possible.
Oh my god, not a big deal at all. Oh,
come on, yeah, that's that's right.

Speaker 4 (01:36):
So the worst thing you can do is selectly you
go like, oh, man, do you think I messed up
that job interview?

Speaker 3 (01:41):
So what would you do if I said that? NICKI
do you think I messed up that job?

Speaker 1 (01:45):
What do I think you did?

Speaker 3 (01:46):
What do you think you should do? And then I'll
give you what you shouldn't.

Speaker 1 (01:48):
Well, I don't know if you did or not. I
want to be honest with you.

Speaker 4 (01:50):
Oh okay, okay, So yes, I definitely messed up the
job interview, although you know, not so bad.

Speaker 3 (01:56):
I didn't like go in there and take my dick out.

Speaker 1 (01:59):
Yeah you probably did, but like literally, who cares? Like
you don't even want that job anyway, It's it's gonna
lead to something else, And everything happens for a reason.
And the truth is, you might have messed up that
job interview, But what mistakes you made in there you
won't do in the next one that might be more important,
And that is the real lesson here. But yeah, you
sucked it up big time. No, no, I will. I

(02:22):
will give you a don't. If I really think it
is not a big deal, then.

Speaker 4 (02:26):
I'll go, oh god, okay, okay, okay. So how about
this maybe lower the stakes a little bit? And I go, oh, man,
do you think I was rude to that barista?

Speaker 1 (02:37):
What? No, they don't care.

Speaker 4 (02:41):
No, it sounds like you think I was horrible to
the barista.

Speaker 1 (02:47):
Oh it does? No? Oh no, but well I'm being honest.

Speaker 4 (02:51):
Yeah, No, they don't care.

Speaker 1 (02:54):
They deal with stuff all day long that you and
you weren't like is isn't that count for something? If
you didn't mean to be like? Can't we just all
if you if you don't mean to be rude and
someone thinks you're rude, can't you let yourself off the hook? I?
I can, But I can't let myself off the hook.
If someone thinks I suck at something I did, like

(03:18):
career wise, and I tried that, won't that will make
me feel better? Be like, well you tried your best, right,
That doesn't help but if some things I'm rude when
I really wasn't being rude, I'm like, oh, well that's
kind of their problem.

Speaker 4 (03:30):
Well that's a great corollaria because let's say I just
went up on stage and I didn't do well, and
then I come off stage and I go, did I
just bomb?

Speaker 2 (03:38):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (03:39):
How would you? What? Would you just go? Yeah, I
have a friend.

Speaker 4 (03:42):
I have a friend who they suck.

Speaker 3 (03:45):
Yeah, and then you go up there and annihilate. So
what's then? What do I think they suck?

Speaker 1 (03:50):
They just listen somebody I bomb all the time. That's
what I would say. I would say, Oh, I've had
a set like that. You were just off like yeah, yeah,
it's not always them, and it wasn't them this time
because I just killed. But yeah, you just had a
bad I'm not gonna judge you for it. I would
never look at that performance and be like that guy sucks.
Like you're allowed to have a shitty set. That's what

(04:12):
I would say.

Speaker 3 (04:13):
Okay, so what do you think about this?

Speaker 4 (04:14):
I have a friend who does the exact opposite tact,
and he just says like the worst possible thing you
can say in an effort to get you to just
come to terms with it immediately so you can move on.
It's like, for example, I had a girlfriend once and
she broke up with me, and I go, I go
to my friend, do you think she's like having sex

(04:36):
with other people right now? And he was like probably, yeah,
what do you think about that tactic?

Speaker 1 (04:42):
That honesty suck? Probably yeah, she's probably put's a tacked
and tactic. I think that, Yeah, I don't think that's Yeah,
sometimes you just do need to know the truth and yeah,
because sometimes people are like, my life sucks, and I'm like, yeah,
it kind of does, but like it's gonna to get better,
can't get worse. Like I think being lied to is

(05:03):
doesn't do anyone any favors. But yeah, then that happened.
Where someone is like, is just the pain of thinking
them hooking up with someone else? And I'm like, they
definitely are, and I've thought that. I just am like, yeah,
but it's like sad and empty and I'll miss you.
It'll make them miss you faster, So let them go

(05:23):
out there and do that stuff.

Speaker 3 (05:24):
That's interesting.

Speaker 4 (05:25):
Yeah, whenever someone goes through a bad breakup, I always
give them. My tact is always to give them false
hope because again. Yeah, slowly ribble it out of them
until they have no hope. But you can't just go
straight to yeah, they're fucking someone else and they love
them more than you, and then they are coming back.

Speaker 1 (05:39):
Oh no, I do. I never do the never coming back.
I always say, girl, I got back with my boyfriend
who I'm with now. So many times we broke up,
so many times I thought it was over forever. There
is never. You are never out of hope, And I
will never judge you if you reach out to that
person at a time of weakness, like like, just make
it do, be as messy as you want to be

(06:00):
part of it.

Speaker 4 (06:01):
Yeah, having that glimmer of hope. And then and then
on top of that, the person who you say that to,
that's exactly what they want to hear, whether it's true
or not. When you will go through a breakup, the
number one thing you want to hear is you're probably
going to get back together, even if that's not.

Speaker 3 (06:15):
Good for you.

Speaker 1 (06:16):
I always say that I know you're getting back together.

Speaker 2 (06:18):
And never I don't ever want to say that. That's
so interesting that that's what you say. My go to
is always like, which I don't know if it's a
good one. But it's always like you know, every relationship
has a purpose. That's you know, this one will mean
something in your life.

Speaker 1 (06:33):
Maybe you can't get sad about a relationship. I'm not
out of just based on this. Every relationship has a purpose. Okay,
when people are like you are starving to get back
into that and you're like, don't work, it's but but
just give them like what is it? Because sometimes you
just need the hope it's not gonna it's not going

(06:54):
to lead to more. They're already as upset as possible
right that.

Speaker 4 (06:57):
Raw, you're not ready to have a holistic, a big
picture approach to me, not at all.

Speaker 1 (07:03):
Just tell people they'll get back together, tell them that
they're gonna regret it, because ultimately they probably won't get
back together.

Speaker 2 (07:09):
A lot of times that does happen, so you won't
be wrong. I never trash the other person because of this.

Speaker 1 (07:14):
I go so hard I will find I there are
people that are currently with people that I have said
horrible things about their physicality because that's what I do.
When Schumer used to do that with me and my friends,
Like when we would be obsessing over a guy, she
would just like find like, you know, if I think

(07:37):
one guy looked like a like, she was like, he
looks like a marionette. And so we just were sending
each other pictures of marionettes and being like do you
really want this guy? And you just like write, you
write the most awful things possible about the person, so
that the person is almost tries to be disgusted by them,
and and it's fun. It's fun to just like really
bully someone with your group of friends in a cruel way.

(08:01):
But then they get back together and yeah, it's a
little bit weird, but like I stand by what I said.
He did look like a fetus. He does have fetus face,
but it's like a hot fetus, Like a lot of
guys have fetus face, and it's like a hot look.
I can't even go into it because I feel like
it will implicate my friend. But like, you know how

(08:25):
fetuses like look like like they're like their eyes are
almost quam.

Speaker 3 (08:30):
Like does does face?

Speaker 1 (08:33):
I say quam as in like clam like they're like clamshells,
Like they're like kind of like And I'm don't think
that I'm saying anything about an ethnicity here.

Speaker 4 (08:42):
This is like not one of your high school terms.

Speaker 1 (08:46):
Yeah, there was a who my friend was dating, and
this was while they were dating and very happy. But
we we called him. We can't really, I can't really
get into it, but we said he, uh, it's too
cruel because if anyone were to connect it, I can't
handle it. But his eyes were quam eyes, where the

(09:06):
skin on the top was the same as the skin
on the bottom, so they.

Speaker 4 (09:09):
Looked like clams, like clams like cartoon.

Speaker 1 (09:14):
He kind of talked like he had like he kind
of just like had a lockjaw, and so he would
have said it like quam. So we called him quam eyes.

Speaker 3 (09:24):
Yeah, I mean, this.

Speaker 1 (09:25):
Is insane, but yeah. So so I once called the
guy a fetus face, and I like put his picture
next to pictures of fetuses, like I download an app
so that I could like have the square next to
the like you know, pictures of fetuses and then him
and be like, fine, which one is him? Like you
can't tell, just so I could really drive it home
that he was not attractive, but he is attractive, and.

Speaker 3 (09:48):
The in the womb, it's a fetus as soon as.

Speaker 1 (09:52):
No newborn too, fetus newborn like you know, like new
like where their eyes are like like like like like
pokemon balls. Yeah, yeah, yeah, a little bit. It's it's rude.
And someone could call me horse face and they have.
I mean, there's a million things that I could be called.

(10:13):
I also, when you were.

Speaker 2 (10:14):
Saying this to your friend, did she laugh at it?

Speaker 1 (10:17):
Or she laughed? But she was also like stop, like
she told me to stop. So I stopped pretty quickly.
But I just wanted them to know. I just yeah,
I was trying to help, and yet it didn't because
they're they're together, and I'm sure she doesn't think about it,

(10:37):
and I don't really think about it because I now
I love this person. I could never see that in
them now it's like a hot look, but there and
and I even went so far as to prove that
this was a hot look by making a collage of
every Hollywood actor that has fetus space and there's tons
I can't because then we're gonna be able to connect

(10:59):
to who they make like and you're gonna be able
to decipher and I just cannot have that out there.
But it's not fetus. I was just trying to be
the meanest version of this, even though I was calling
a hot guy feature a bad thing. Yeah, that's just
what you do. You do do that? Noah, what to No.

Speaker 2 (11:14):
I I have to be honest to friends, and I
also am very cautious because a lot of my friends
have gotten back together with their exes. So I've learned
my lesson to not trash the ex because then it's like, wait,
you know what.

Speaker 1 (11:28):
But I'm a very forgiving person, and so I guess
I extend that to all of my friends. Where if
like I've.

Speaker 5 (11:35):
I've thought things about Chris that are not kind because
I've been broken up, or I've been in a fight,
and we all have about our partner where we've like
and if I can get back and like never see
those things again or like, have no problem with those things.
I expect my friends to be able to do the
same thing. But when they're in a place of hurt,
I think it's nice to pile on and I just

(11:58):
expect them to be able to lift it as as
they get back together.

Speaker 2 (12:01):
I guess I do, yeah, the opposite, where I just
kind of like pile on the compliments to my friend
and say why she was so great and or in
some cases it's a guy and why, like it's the
other person's loss and stuff like that.

Speaker 3 (12:15):
Yeah, but that's that's not gonna work.

Speaker 4 (12:17):
That's just like banging your head against the wall because
the person doesn't believe that in the moment, because they they.

Speaker 3 (12:24):
You feel like such a piece of shit. Oh.

Speaker 1 (12:26):
I always think of when Harry met Sally where she
goes but he didn't want me?

Speaker 6 (12:30):
She was like I said, he said he didn't want
to get married, but now he's engaged, So what's wrong
with me?

Speaker 1 (12:37):
And it's like, oh, man.

Speaker 4 (12:39):
Have it?

Speaker 1 (12:39):
We all felt that where they like the guy tries
to let you down softly by saying I don't want
to date anyone. I'm busy, and then you find out
he's dating someone else, and so you're like, it has
to be me, and it is you.

Speaker 2 (12:49):
Yeah, I have friend them. Maybe you guys can help me.
He is just constantly getting friend zoned, and I feel
so bad for him because he'll tap into the dating seat,
we'll get someone's attention and then he gets friend zoned
and how uh he's like five ten.

Speaker 3 (13:11):
Okay, so okay, so van so I says he.

Speaker 1 (13:14):
Attractive, it's average looking?

Speaker 4 (13:17):
Yeah, okay, okay, okay, So he shouldn't have a problem.
There isn't like some huge barrier to him.

Speaker 2 (13:23):
Well, I think he's a hopeless romantic, to be honest,
and he just g's the cart before the horse sometimes,
you know.

Speaker 1 (13:29):
Yeah, he piles on the gifts and things like that
too early.

Speaker 4 (13:33):
That's the mistake and all that. So every date, every
date he goes on, he has to treat it like
this is not going to go anywhere. This is just
for fun and we'll see where it goes. He's got
to apply that so cow vibe mentality. Whatever happens happens, man,
which is like the most frustrating thing to hear from
someone you actually like, but it's the only way to

(13:54):
lock someone in.

Speaker 3 (13:55):
Whatever happens happens. I'm just seeing where this goes.

Speaker 4 (13:58):
I don't know, maybe this is something, maybe it's not
for at least like a month.

Speaker 3 (14:02):
You got to do that, okay, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (14:05):
But or he just needs to be direct about what
he's into right away, and like that's exactly what I
told him yesterday. And not because I think he's probably
scared of the rejection that has happened so much that
he's like, if I I can at least keep her
around and go out with her, and hang out with
her a lot. If I just kind of keep it
nebulous of like whether or not I'm romantically interested and

(14:29):
not like lead either way, and so then by the
time he's like I can't take it anymore, it's too late. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (14:36):
I was talking about if you're going on dates with
people on on like an app or something like, it's
a clear date.

Speaker 3 (14:41):
Oh, this isn't.

Speaker 1 (14:42):
This isn't that.

Speaker 4 (14:43):
He's just hanging out with girls that are consider him
his friend, then yeah, he shouldn't be friends with them
if he wants to.

Speaker 1 (14:51):
I'm sorry, these girls fucking know, like I listen, we've
been there before. But I think you can know when
a guy has a crush on you and it's not
up to them to say something, because I think that
sometimes it's like I've had guys turn on me and
be like I like you, and I'm like, I just
want to be friends, and then they're like, don't want
to be friends anymore, and it hurts your feelings because
you're like, but I had there's a good friendship here.

(15:14):
But girls, you know when a guy is crushing on
you and that you're just trying to give them all
the signals without like saying it bluntly like no, you know,
but you don't, and then finally he gets the nerve
to do something a little romantic, and then it's just awkward.
It's like, just you need to talk about boys a

(15:36):
lot in front of these guys if you want a
guy friend, they got to be comfortable hearing about guys
or like, you know that you can't avoid those kind
of subjects to keep the guy happy or to keep
the guy your friend. And I think sometimes that happens.

Speaker 4 (15:49):
Yeah, don't avoid the subjects. And also, yes, I think
it's on both people. I think it's on if the
girl knows that the guy's crushing on him and there's
no chance, then she's being selfish because she doesn't want
to be mean and say like no, we can't be
friends if you if this is the way it's gonna be,
because that seems mean. And also it's selfish because it's like, well,
I kind of like having this guy fawn over me,

(16:09):
especially if I'm going through a bad situation with a guy. Actually,
like it's so nice to have some guy who would
like take a bullet for me fawning over me for
as long as I want, doing whatever I want. Yeah,
it's hard to let go of something like that. For
the guy, it's like, if you want to get down
with a chick, then you can't. You gotta you can't

(16:29):
let that happen. You just gotta walk away. I mean,
you can't be in that situation. It's just so right.
It's just so I don't want to be mean to
this guy, but it's just so pathetic. If you go on,
if you go on like man Internet like stuff like
the Joe Rogan's Fear, they'll say this phrase, don't put
the pussy on a pedestal, And you know, obviously that's

(16:52):
a crazy phrase and he says pussy and whatever, but
it's so true. And when I was dating it actually
helped me to think like that. It's like, you can't
just because they're a hot girl. You can't just say
that they are above you and like they're the queen
and you're this peasant. You have to put everyone at
your level.

Speaker 1 (17:10):
Yeah, yeah, that easier said, but yes, especially if she's
so hot and you guys are just craving sticking your
dick in something so badly, you like can't help it.
It's like it's that you can't have mind over matter,
like you just your body wants it and you'll just
fall over yourselves to get it. I mean, yeah, even

(17:31):
hot hot girls intimidate me and make me want to
act differently around them, and I have to not put
the pussy on the pedestal and just be like, just
because she's hot does mean she's better than me, or
doesn't mean I yeah, doesn't mean she's better than me,
or that I am somehow beneath her. But I tend
to feel that way a lot of times.

Speaker 3 (17:52):
You know what Neil Strauss said, the Game or the palle.

Speaker 1 (17:55):
That's what these guys need to read. Yeah, the Pelican.

Speaker 3 (18:01):
Peacock, mystery peacock guy.

Speaker 4 (18:03):
He said, yeah, that girl's hot, like you're hot and all,
but hotness is common. He would say, there's so many
hot girls out there.

Speaker 1 (18:13):
It's like just TikTok and Instagram, and you're like, there's
so many hot girls.

Speaker 4 (18:18):
Yeah, and maybe none of them will fuck you, fine,
but there's there's do you just move on to the
next one if they don't like you. There's plenty of
one of them that one of them will fuck you eventually,
if they're in the right state of mind, if they're
just like depressed, they want to rebound. Yeah, Or if
they've just been through a relationship where the person was
hot and a piece of shit, they're gonna be open

(18:39):
for a nice guy who's maybe not as hot, but
but is ready for like a relationship that's loved.

Speaker 3 (18:45):
You just got to meet the person where they are.

Speaker 1 (18:47):
You'll find I'm really glad to have to be in
a relationship because I can have guy friends because I'm
in a secure relationship where my boyfriend doesn't care if
I have guy friends that are like my friends that
I've known forever and we have our own relationships and
he doesn't need to monitor it because he's secure in
our relationship. If he wasn't, he would be like, what
are you hanging out with new guys? And then also

(19:10):
the guy friends I have, No, I'm in a relationship
that's secure and so there's no weirdness there either. And
it's like, I think it's a place I've never been
in my entire life where I feel secure on both sides. Yeah,
And I didn't think that I would ever have that
of being able to have guy friends that are separate
than my friendship with Chris or like you know, from
they don't need to be our friends. I mean most

(19:30):
of them are, because why not. I love Chris and
he's my friends, so why wouldn't I. I always want to
combine all my friends. But I'm able I would be
able to have male friends because and I don't think
Chris and I have always been in that secure where
I would have been okay with that or him having
girlfriends or h me having guy friends. And now I
feel like, oh, this makes sense because we just both
know we ain't going nowhere.

Speaker 4 (19:50):
Do you have guy friends that are not in the industry.

Speaker 1 (19:56):
No, because that's how I don't have friends that are
not I mean old friends, you know, from high school.
But other than that, I mean Sara Alina is my
only friend that I've made that's new that's not in
the industry, but she is in the industry now. So
everyone I know I've met through through work.

Speaker 4 (20:14):
Well that makes so that makes more sense to me,
even outside of comedy, like because these are like coworkers
that have become your friends in a way, yes, and
even if you just started out doing open mics with them,
and it doesn't feel like a workplace, in a way,
it is a workplace. And so like if Ali just
had some guy friend that was like, I don't know,

(20:35):
she met at a bar, or that was in a
pilates class, that would be that.

Speaker 3 (20:40):
Would be intriguing.

Speaker 4 (20:42):
But if there's a bunch of guys that she like
is friends with because she worked with them for four years, different,
that to me is no threat at all.

Speaker 1 (20:51):
Yeah, I agree, I agree. I think it is different
if I just like walked in one day was like,
I'm gonna go start hanging out with Tom, who I
met my plate's class, who's a straight man who just
wants to hang First of all, he knows that I'm
not like hard up for new friends. And unless this
person was hilarious, Like that's the thing is I get
to be friends with like really hilarious people, and so

(21:11):
it justifies it where I'm like, Okay, I'm sorry, I'm
gonna be friends with David Spade. That's a that's anyone
would you know? And you don't get you don't have
to question that because it's like, Okay, that's a pre
premium friend. Okay, we gotta go break and I want
to when we get back, I'm having this laser thing
that we talked about yesterday done to my face in

(21:32):
a couple hours, and I want to ask Noah, like,
what it's going to be like, because I'm a little scared.
I'll be back back after this, all right, So after this,
I'm going to get the Moxi BBL Brazilian butt lift?
Is that is always the BBL? Yeah? BBL. Don't know
what it stands for, don't care either. What made you

(21:52):
get it, Noah? Was it just recommended to you by
your estetish?

Speaker 2 (21:56):
So my hairdresser, oh recommended it because I like her
skin is beautiful. She's maybe two years younger than me,
and she just looks great. So and she's very forthcoming
with all the things she does, which is what I
really appreciate about her, because she shares it. And she
was the one who told me about it, and she
had sent me to the girl who does it for

(22:17):
me now and it's great.

Speaker 1 (22:19):
How many times have you done it? I've done it
three times? Oh wow? How often?

Speaker 2 (22:26):
I So I told the girl, I was like, this
is my push present to myself, Yeah, which is a
present that you get after you push out a baby.
And I was like, for the first year, I just
want to be like on top of it, aggressive and
just like, you know, give myself a little bit.

Speaker 1 (22:44):
Of a rejuvenation.

Speaker 2 (22:48):
So I did it. I think I did it every
like two months, and then this year I'll do it
once a quarter.

Speaker 1 (22:56):
Like okay, Tex, And have you already seen results?

Speaker 4 (23:00):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (23:00):
Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 2 (23:01):
It definitely improves the surface of my skin. The one
thing I wanted to warn you about that freaked me
out at first. So basically, what will happen is like
your skin, like all these like brown spots happen from
like burning it, and then all this stuff comes out
and you'll see kind of like varicos veins on your nose.

Speaker 1 (23:23):
You might see those. Oh I've seen that before on
like micro needling and stuff.

Speaker 2 (23:26):
Yeah, and I was like, oh my god, am I
gonna have an old man's nose from now?

Speaker 1 (23:30):
And this is like my grandfather's nose right right? It
looks like an alcoholic sun beaten, right, shipwrecked nose? Yeah exactly.

Speaker 2 (23:40):
But it does go away, okay, in time.

Speaker 1 (23:43):
It's like five days, right, and then you can probably
put makeup on it after like the second day.

Speaker 2 (23:47):
I'm guessing it just depends how much of it starts
to fall off. Like for me, it started to flake
off from the center to the to like where my
ears are, so I could kind of put the foundation
over the front.

Speaker 3 (24:00):
But what is this doing?

Speaker 1 (24:02):
Like it gives you good skin texture.

Speaker 4 (24:05):
It like burns by burning off the top layer of
skin and then you just have like fresh skin underneath.

Speaker 2 (24:10):
I think it's much more like it's so much boush
your collagen. I barely have any makeup on and it
gives me. It gives me like a you know, like
low like red not red cheeks, but just kind of
like healthy looking cheeks, you know. And how much was it?
I mean, this is not cheap shit. It also depends
like where you live and stuff.

Speaker 1 (24:31):
Yeah, that's true. Cheaper here tu soon you can just
go lay out in the sun.

Speaker 2 (24:36):
Well, the sun year is really bad. I mean I
used to never put sunscreen on my face, but I
have to now.

Speaker 1 (24:42):
You never put sunscreen on before.

Speaker 2 (24:45):
Unfortunately, just like the way that I was raised, my
parents were always putting us out in the sun and
lathering us up with baby oil.

Speaker 1 (24:53):
So yeah, baby in the name, put it on your
babies exactly. We would spend the whole day at the beach.

Speaker 3 (24:59):
Just wait, baby oil not for babies.

Speaker 1 (25:02):
I think it is for babies, but I don't think
it's for like babies on the sun.

Speaker 3 (25:06):
No. Yeah, some more information on the bbl's.

Speaker 1 (25:11):
Okay, let us know what it does.

Speaker 3 (25:12):
Now.

Speaker 4 (25:12):
I'm subscribed like seven OnlyFans accounts, but I have MOXY
and BBL is actually two different things. Yes, and you're
getting a bundle probably with where you get both at once.

Speaker 1 (25:24):
Yes, exactly. I'm so glad you look at those up.
I I just blindly go into these things. Okay, so
I don't care, just make me look good.

Speaker 4 (25:32):
BBL is a intense pulse light that stands for a
broad band light.

Speaker 3 (25:39):
And I thought moxie they say, is a non ablative
fractional laser energy.

Speaker 1 (25:48):
Now that means, okay, doesn't hurt. I heard it doesn't hurt.

Speaker 2 (25:54):
Moxie feels like you're getting warm kisses on your face.

Speaker 4 (25:57):
Great.

Speaker 2 (25:58):
BBL feels like you're getting little nails dug into your skin,
but they usually numb you before. But still feel sick
a little bit, but you'll you'll be able to handle it.

Speaker 4 (26:07):
Here's also what you need to know. Moxie is more expensive,
almost twice as expensive as BBL. Oh that's right, So
maybe Moxie is like the more advanced one that like
doesn't hurt as much.

Speaker 1 (26:19):
Isn't fair to people who can't afford it. I just
want to just reiterate that if you can't afford this shit,
just please know that. It's like when you look at
someone's nice car and your car is not nice, Like
you can't compare it. You're just like, oh, that person
has a nice car and I but it's it's not
fair because people aren't just put slapping moxibbl brand sticker

(26:39):
on their foreheads, so you know that's what they've done.
They just seem to be better than you for some reason,
or they eat cleaner or something, which is a part
of it too.

Speaker 6 (26:48):
Well.

Speaker 4 (26:48):
That's why people love making fun of someone when they
get bad work done, because it's like, Aha, you spend
all your fucking money and now you look like this.

Speaker 1 (26:55):
When their Palisades house burns down, Like I'm jealous you
have money and I want it to backfire on you. Yeah,
And you know it's a natural reaction to feel that way.
I almost went off. I you know how sometimes I'll
just like write out a comment and I'll be like
car and I want to send it, and then I don't.
I did that today with them. There's something about Taylor

(27:16):
Swift's jet and it was like all of the shortest
trips Taylor Swift ever took on her jet, the shortest
trip she ever took was four miles, which is walking distance.
It's like, okay, you want Taylor supposed to walk four
miles in Paris or like in in in the outside
in the Paris countries or French Southern French French countries side.

Speaker 3 (27:37):
Jet four.

Speaker 1 (27:38):
I don't know. I don't know. But they're like it
was to save money. I'm like, I doubt that. I
think it was probably for security, and like it's not
the problem again, like this is the oil companies are
the problem with climate change, not celebrities taking private fucking jets.
It's what the oil companies did was they made a
bunch of propaganda and that is part of it, is
just to blame it on celebrities and you and your

(28:00):
carbon footprint, when really they could do even a little thing,
and it would be immensely more than you could ever
do in a thousand lifetimes of recycling and not taking
jets and taking the bus and riding your bike. It
doesn't put a fucking dent in anything. Compared to what
they could do just a fraction of So stop blaming
Taylor Swift. And by the way, Taylor Swift, if you

(28:21):
were her, you'd be taking these people who are like,
I can't bull she could have walked that bitch. You
would have taken a private jet a mile. Like all
these people who are judging, they would kill for that
kind of money to be able to not fly southwest.
They all would do it. Unless you are like the
head of PETA or the an ambassador of Greenpeace. I

(28:42):
don't think you can put your money where your mouth is.
And when you when you judge these people for spending
all this money, I think you would do the same
thing if you had.

Speaker 4 (28:49):
Believe the ambassadors of green Peace do it. The people
who are in charge of these charities, once they get
a little bit of money, they start doing all this
shit then and then it comes out five years later
where it's like corrupt CEO of Green Piece actually spent
a seven million dollars on a house in the Turks
and Kkos, Yeah, well.

Speaker 1 (29:08):
I read some. There was some on the vegan subreddit.
There was an article about me being a vegan or whatever,
and they got into a huge there was all these
like bickering inside the subreddit of and I don't usually
read this stuff, but I'm like, vegans are nice. I
would like to see what they're saying about me, and
maybe they appreciate what I'm doing. I'm one of very

(29:31):
few celebrity vegans at this point, because they're always like,
I'm not vegan. I used to be vegan and then
they get louder than ever about it because it didn't
work with my body and my lifestyle. Shut up, you
just wanted to lose weight and you love your tone keto. Yeah,
I'm just like, shut up, if you if you stop
being vegan, shut the fuck up. Just shut up. You

(29:52):
know you were vegan once, so you know it was
the right thing, right, but now you're feeling guilty, right
so you have to be extra loud about why it
did work for you. Just don't be vegan and shut
the fuck up. You don't need to. You don't need
to blast us everywhere. Everyone's already not vegan. You don't
need to like retell us why you're not because you
need to justify it. You know what you're doing isn't right.
You know you're probably doing it to lose weight or

(30:13):
to do something for some selfish reason that isn't about
the animals. And by the way, I've done it too.
We all justify these behaviors, but just shut the fuck up.
We don't need more people telling us not to be vegan.
We really don't. And to everyone who is annoyed with
vegans being loud, it's like four of us, so you
can shut the fuck up too. Honestly, we're never gonna

(30:34):
win if we went over three people and you have
thirty less cows killed a year, So be it. Let
us talk and then just flip past it. You don't
have to listen. But anyway, in this vegan subreddit, they
were getting so mad or a couple of people defended me.
This one person shout out to whoever that was who
was like cause they were. They were getting in an
argument about how I'm not loud enough and how I'm

(30:56):
too gentle when I go on certain people's podcasts where
I don't overdo it, and I kind to say, I
don't care what you do. I'm not gonna preach it you.
I just know what I do. I'm I'm right for
what I do and you're wrong, and that's fine with me,
and you have to live with that. And I really
I'm not judging you for it. I did it for years.
I'm gentle about it when it comes to judgmental and
like shaming people, even though I just said fuck you

(31:17):
a million times to both vegans and non vegans, but.

Speaker 4 (31:21):
Well, you're saying fuck you specifically to the person who
quits veganism and then goes and loudly exclaimed yes because
it's shut up.

Speaker 1 (31:31):
Yeah, just shut the fuck up. And but anyway, this
person was like, well, she has to be delicate because
these people. If she wants to get the word out
at all on these podcasts and get keep getting invited
on this podcasts, she can't go fucking nuts. And that
person saw it. I felt seen good. You can't overdo it.
You and I do have to be understanding. And I
wish that a lot of I wish PETA and a

(31:52):
lot of these different organizations would kind of come from
my perspective of like a gentle approach to getting people
to quit meat, because I know that's how I quit
smoking cigarettes. I know that's how I quit alcohol. It's
not being putitive to yourself, it's not feeling guilty. It's
not feeling. It's not shaming you about me, it's shaming
people about cigarettes. Showing them a picture of a dirty

(32:13):
lung doesn't get them to stop smoking. It makes them
smoke more because they're stressed out about the fact that
they're smoking, and the only thing they have to do
to calm that stress is to smoke more. So you
yelling at people about being vegan or not being vegan
is gonna make them dig their heels in more because
they're gonna feel distressed about it. And what makes you
feel good when you're distressed food that.

Speaker 3 (32:31):
You like spaking.

Speaker 4 (32:32):
It's basic persuasion, Like you can't just yell someone into
agreeing with you, just can't dig in more. It's with politics,
like if you like, just think about this in any situation,
like if you have an uncle or something who disagrees
with you politically, if you just go over to his
house and you start telling him he's a bad person
and stuff, he's he's just gonna believe his thing more

(32:53):
and then he's gonna plant the flag on the back
of his pickup truck because you did that.

Speaker 1 (32:58):
And guess what, calling him weird doesn't work either. We
thought that worked for a second.

Speaker 3 (33:03):
Yeah, man, funny that.

Speaker 7 (33:05):
Yeah, it was so funny when we were all like,
it's working weird really pisses them and they don't like
call them weird.

Speaker 3 (33:14):
We never thought about that to call.

Speaker 1 (33:16):
Them weird weird, and we solved.

Speaker 4 (33:19):
It all of a sudden. The flags came down so funny, You're.

Speaker 3 (33:26):
Like, wait a second, am I weird?

Speaker 1 (33:27):
Yeah? I just like do a gentle approach. Once in
a while, I see a post because I'm in a
certain mood. I'll be in like a depressed mood and
I see a picture of a chicken that looks dirty
and sad, and I'll just post it because it's just
a gentle reminder. It's not it is a little in
your face, but it's not me being like you're a
bad person. I just say, hey, your you know your

(33:49):
favorite breakfast food enjoys warm baths. Just think about that.
It's just like a nice, little, kind of sneaky way
to do it, because over the top, it's just you
want to do over the top. Of course, I want
to scream and yeah, oh god, yeah, And I want
to every time I see a post of Haley Baber

(34:10):
wearing some you know, long fox coat, I want to
write this is disgusting or whatever. It's like that doesn't
that's only going to make people be like what a bitch?
What does she stand for? Any No, it's just like
it's just not right. It's not the right approach. But anyway,

(34:31):
it's like it's hard not to get not to see
your name and get drawn into what could they be
saying about me?

Speaker 4 (34:37):
Well, it's just irrational for them to say, like you
got to go on to like the Tiger Belly podcast
and start like vehemently yelling about veganism. It's just not
going to convince anybody, and it's going to ruin your career.

Speaker 1 (34:48):
Yeah, and and and they wonder why there's no celebrities
that are vegan. It's just like it's it makes it,
it turns people off.

Speaker 4 (34:56):
And also you're a comedian, it's like it's not your
I get you have a platf. But it's not your
job to convince anybody of anything. Your job is to
make people laugh. And like that's the whole problem with
with the joke, the great joke during the Golden Globes
where it's like you can do anything except tell people
how to vote. It's like, stay in your Lane, like,
you don't need the public should not expect celebrities to

(35:18):
fix the world. That's not why they're celebrities. That's not
why they were chosen to be celebrities. If you want
people to fix the world, you should be looking to
activists and politicians. Of course, celebrity can become an activist,
but like, you can't expect like uh, Nicole Kidman and
Tom Cruise to fix climate change.

Speaker 3 (35:38):
It's it's insane.

Speaker 1 (35:40):
Yeah, but it just seems like they should be able
to because we have them, we have their pussies on
such pedestals. Yeah, yeah, right, Like it does make sense
that we go, like, why can't you speak up more? Like,
you know, Taylor Swift endorse and Kamala felt like that
was gonna do it.

Speaker 4 (35:54):
Yeah, and it'd be calling them weird. I mean, what
the fuck? How could that combination not have worked?

Speaker 1 (36:03):
It's so funny. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (36:06):
Well, uh and to say then their whole strategy was,
I mean, we decided to call them weird and yet
Taylor Swift to endorse them and it didn't work. And
their whole strategy was just what to like convince the
majority of Americans to vote for them?

Speaker 3 (36:20):
I mean, how did that.

Speaker 1 (36:21):
Work by running incessant ad campaigns that instilled fear where
there's shouldn't be. I mean, it's not like they didn't
do anything. They weren't. Just like Brian, you can't just
say they were just running a honest, sincere, no noble
campaign by any stretch of the imagination.

Speaker 3 (36:40):
No, no, no, certainly not.

Speaker 1 (36:42):
And isn't it we it is? Have you guys? The
TikTok band was insane. I think it's so funny that,
like there's so many people working on like sketches about it,
and by the time they like shot their sketch that
was gonna be like so viral on reels about the
TikTok van, it was already lifted. That was so fun
I did you.

Speaker 4 (37:02):
See that A bunch of there was a people are crying.
People on TikToker decided to come clean about their accounts
before the did you see this?

Speaker 1 (37:10):
You're gonna miss this.

Speaker 6 (37:12):
I'm gonna miss this community where I got six thousand
dollars a week from posting a video.

Speaker 1 (37:18):
Of my tits. Wait what wait? I saw one guy
coming clean was like, I'm just gonna say it. I
don't like black people. It's just like, wait, what what
this isn't? What this is?

Speaker 7 (37:28):
This isn't like you're on the gallows and you get
just say you're like last final statements?

Speaker 1 (37:33):
Are you talking about that guy? There was one guy
that was like, I want to talk about who I
don't like, and he said that he didn't like black
people at the gym because black people are already physically superior,
So why are they at the gym when he he
should be at the gym trying to keep up with
whatever they are naturally. I mean, it was insane.

Speaker 4 (37:50):
First of all, lead with that, don't end with it.
It's like the ship's going down. That's such a weird
impulse anymore, if you're in the Titanic going down, your
last thing to do is to guess what I hate
black people? That's so crazy to think that it was.

Speaker 1 (38:04):
It was nuts. So I saw that, Wait what did
you see?

Speaker 3 (38:06):
So shit you should care about? The account?

Speaker 4 (38:08):
Shit you should care about is leading the journalism on this,
and they found that there was a bunch of accounts
on take popular accounts where the influencers came clean as
to why their accounts were frauds. Like, for example, there
was one fitness influencer who says I posted those workouts,
I never did any of those workouts like stuff.

Speaker 1 (38:25):
Like that, what oh my god.

Speaker 3 (38:27):
I or like a cooking channel and they were like, they.

Speaker 1 (38:30):
Know there are other platforms that they can go.

Speaker 4 (38:32):
Yeah, that's the thing about TikTok. That's that the TikTokers.
That's insane.

Speaker 3 (38:36):
Is it?

Speaker 4 (38:36):
Like they're acting like TikTok is the only social media
platform TikTok. They can't have any other access to social media.

Speaker 1 (38:45):
That's really interesting. I never even considered that people that
are telling me what workouts to do might not be
doing them.

Speaker 3 (38:51):
They're not doing that.

Speaker 1 (38:52):
I'm like, how do their bodies look like that?

Speaker 2 (38:54):
Then?

Speaker 1 (38:54):
But it's like, oh, they could just be like naturally
fit in that way.

Speaker 4 (38:58):
Or they're doing like less like half of them, or
eating well and doing sculp. But like you every day
of a workout. Cool sculpting cool.

Speaker 1 (39:07):
That I would not do because I've seen too many
horrors of cool sculpting. But I will say I would
love to go through my phone and see how many
different squat workouts that I have saved that I've never
once done ever ever of like the right positioning. I
I have this one girl who's Irish who screams at
me about your ladies during your fucking squats. You you

(39:29):
fucking need to do it the right way. She just
scratched her. Thing is that she cusses at you. She's
really cool. I like, I forget her name. Fuck, I
wish I could remember it. She pops up all the
time for me. And then I have Yeah, but I
have so many different I just if I'm doing a
squat the wrong way, it's because there's there's no excuse

(39:50):
for me to do a squat. So is that's all
I have? Show me the wrong way in the right way?
What is that?

Speaker 2 (39:54):
What you're saving on Instagram?

Speaker 1 (39:56):
Mostly workout videos? Yeah, workout videos and like every more
I get up and I do this with my hands
guasho where it's like draining your face a puff or
it's yeah, it's all those where I'm just saving different
workouts that I never do. And I did do some
gym workouts when I was in Hawaii from our vacation,

(40:17):
and I just did ones. I never went to the
ones on Instagram that I saved. I just went to
like gym workout twenty minutes and did those and those
are really fun.

Speaker 3 (40:26):
Yeah, that's what I used to do all the time.

Speaker 4 (40:28):
I mean before I went back to Equinox, I would
do the I would do Pop Sugar.

Speaker 1 (40:34):
Oh in your house.

Speaker 3 (40:35):
I would do Pop Sugar.

Speaker 4 (40:36):
I would do TV twelve as we all know, but
I would do Pop Sugar also, yeah in my house. Yeah.
You just type in twenty minute workout on YouTube Pop
Sugar and they have a lot of great ones.

Speaker 3 (40:45):
They have Apple Fitness now.

Speaker 4 (40:47):
Which is also good, but yeah, that's uh, there's no
replacement for in my opinion, weightli things. So when you
do squats, are you using like a bar you're talking
about like body weight squats.

Speaker 1 (40:58):
No, what I'm doing, like you know what I'm doing, uh,
like with dumbbells you're saying. Yeah, sometimes like sometimes I'll
do a bar and do like you know, uh deadlifts.

Speaker 3 (41:08):
Uh huh yeah that.

Speaker 1 (41:09):
Kind of like just the positioning. I know all the
positions for the different uh squats variations you can do
because I've just watched the videos a million times, and
I also watched like videos about you know, pelvic tilt constantly,
and there is literally no one I can find who
is fixed with evidence their posterior pelvic tilt. There's a

(41:31):
million videos about doing it, but it it must be
something that takes literal years to do. I got this
this special chiropractic thing that you're not even supposed to
be able to buy unless you're like an you know.
And the guy that was talking about it, he was
on the YouTube video, he was like, it's a traction
tool and it had it's like a foam kind of

(41:53):
block and at the top it has like a thinner line,
so it's like really digs in, you know, and it's
like a five inch block and you lay your back
on it because I'm just trying to open up my
lower lumbar back and get some lord nosis back in
that bitch, and you just lay on it. But he
said you should only do this. Hold for one minute.
Hold bitch, yeah, lordos. This is when your spine kind

(42:17):
of goes in, and in order to have an ass
you gotta have that little like curve of the spine in.
So you're asking, is whoop and mine does not. It
just goes straight down. And if I had the curve,
my already flat ass would get it, would give it
something else. So I'm trying to bend my back in
by laying on this fucking block that the guy said
you should never you should not do this without a professional,

(42:39):
And I'm just laying on it all day while I'm
gonna I'm gonna fuck up my back so bad. I
can just feel it already. But it's stretching out my back.
I think, I hope it's It seems like a medieval
torture device.

Speaker 4 (42:51):
I have a I want to say something about just
like exercise in general, because I did something yesterday that
I've never done before, which is I got a dex
of scan.

Speaker 3 (43:00):
Have you ever done one of those?

Speaker 4 (43:01):
No?

Speaker 3 (43:02):
What a body spec it's one.

Speaker 4 (43:04):
It's a it's a full body scan that measures your
body fat and your muscle and your bones and stuff
like that.

Speaker 1 (43:10):
Do you have to like breathe while you're like with
a mask on while you're running on a treadmill? I
did that.

Speaker 4 (43:16):
No, No, it's just laying down. It was really easy.
It took like less than ten minutes. I just you
just lay down and you this thing slowly scans you.

Speaker 3 (43:24):
And they say, so weird.

Speaker 4 (43:27):
They say, in the fact, the FAQ, it's a lot
of radiation to do these decks of scans. And they
say it's about the same amount of radiation as eating
for bananas. Did you know that you get radiation from bananas? No,
well I currently.

Speaker 1 (43:42):
You can give your number to a guy through a banana.
But yeah, that's nuts. Okay, So I'm.

Speaker 3 (43:48):
Doing this DEXA scan.

Speaker 4 (43:49):
It's cheap comparison, sixty dollars for there. Yeah, facilities all
over at least so cal.

Speaker 1 (43:56):
So you just got some numbers. You got your body
fat percentage, you got.

Speaker 4 (44:00):
What a break down, your bone density, your body fat,
your visceral fat, like all these little categories. And it's
really easy and quick. And so I wanted to find
out if I was a fat piece of shit or
not because you're not well, I.

Speaker 1 (44:15):
Went told you by looking at you.

Speaker 4 (44:17):
That's what I went to a gastro doctor and I said,
am I a fat piece of shit? And he said, no,
you look like you're in great shape. You're doing better
than me. And I said, oh great. And then I
went to my primary care physician and I said, am
I a fat piece of shit? And he said, well,
you know, you got a lot of fat around your belly,
so you could lose weight. So I wanted to get
a DEXA scan to see which person was right.

Speaker 3 (44:37):
Am I fat or not? Turns out I'm fat?

Speaker 1 (44:40):
You are?

Speaker 3 (44:41):
Yeah, I'm fat?

Speaker 1 (44:42):
What do you let me guess your percentage? Can I guess?

Speaker 3 (44:45):
Yeah? My body fat percentage?

Speaker 6 (44:46):
Yeah? No?

Speaker 1 (44:47):
What you want to get on on this? Because I
believe men are supposed to be around like six percent
or something. I think women are like one hundred and
fifteen percent fat? Like, are fat? Is like crazy compared
to men's. Yeah, but I think are under ten? So
I'm gonna guess you're like nine.

Speaker 3 (45:03):
No, under ten would be like eleven? Yeah, nine.

Speaker 4 (45:07):
You have to be between nine and eleven in order.

Speaker 3 (45:10):
To is it?

Speaker 1 (45:11):
Am I so off? What is?

Speaker 3 (45:13):
If you're under ten?

Speaker 4 (45:14):
You are like a ripped god professional athlete. I think
if you're under twenty, you're you're in good shape.

Speaker 1 (45:23):
You're not under fifty.

Speaker 3 (45:25):
But if you're if you're what.

Speaker 1 (45:27):
Are you under fifty?

Speaker 4 (45:28):
He's I don't even think it's humanly possible. Is it
possible to be over half fat?

Speaker 1 (45:33):
You know what? I don't even know what?

Speaker 3 (45:37):
You can be.

Speaker 1 (45:39):
An old archaic tool.

Speaker 4 (45:45):
Thirty thirty body fat. But what's what's interesting is that
it's all around my stomach, like my arms and legs
are mostly muscle.

Speaker 1 (45:57):
And which for you, as you've aged, it's definitely.

Speaker 4 (46:01):
Been getting bigger. It's because I stopped weightlifting. Oh what
now I've started again. I'm getting my muscle back and
I was doing TV twelve and pop sugar only. I'm
telling you it doesn't work. It just doesn't work. Gotta
lift weights.

Speaker 1 (46:16):
God damn it. I know you gotta lift weights. It's
not enough.

Speaker 4 (46:20):
But here's the weirdest thing that I but I discovered.
So I have my I don't have an unhealthy amount
of fat. The fat's actually pretty good, but it's like
just superficial fat that I can get rid of. But
what's really interesting is my bone density.

Speaker 3 (46:33):
I am in.

Speaker 4 (46:35):
The lowest eight percent of bone density in the country
and my age group.

Speaker 1 (46:42):
That's horrible.

Speaker 4 (46:43):
I've got horrible and so and here's the thing. My
arms and legs bones are in like the eighty percent
tile So I have super good bones in my arms
and legs, but I have a really low bone in
my torso and head.

Speaker 1 (46:58):
I think you need to get a second duck. Such
a study. I really do exa scam.

Speaker 3 (47:03):
You think this is a mistake.

Speaker 1 (47:04):
This is crazy that you that your pelvis is like
four bananas in terms of the sturdiness, and then the
rest of you is still being Yeah, that's crazy.

Speaker 3 (47:15):
Okay, that really bad bone are supposed to do for that?

Speaker 1 (47:18):
What do you do for your bone density and your
torso well?

Speaker 4 (47:21):
So I don't know, like you can gain bone density
by taking supplements like vitamin D, magnesium and calcium, which
I'm already taking already.

Speaker 1 (47:31):
That your bones are like kind of brittle, Like can
you feel it?

Speaker 4 (47:34):
No, my bones feel great, but it is something over time.
You know, you can get osteoporosis as you get older,
they can break easily. But I the way you build
your bones is by exerting weight on them.

Speaker 3 (47:46):
So that is like we need more bone here.

Speaker 4 (47:49):
Yes, and that comes from weightlifting, which I need to
just get back to and I get my bones up,
But I just don't know how to make my headbone bigger,
Like how do you put weight on that?

Speaker 3 (47:58):
Like I.

Speaker 1 (48:00):
Have to wear it molment honestly. Yeah, that's okay. So
I'm glad you got this information. I don't know what
you're gonna do with it if it's gonna make you
better or worse. When we get back, I want to
ask you one more question. Okay, I have a question
for you guys. If you could have one thing in

(48:21):
your life just snap of the fingers and it's done.
Like whether it's a home project, a personal project, a
physical thing that you want done that is within the
realm of you could do it, Okay, Like it isn't
just it's not like you win the lottery kind of
thing and you have a yacht or something, but like
something that you're like, God, it's just like weighing you
down that you could do and you maybe aren't gonna

(48:42):
get around to you. What would that thing be like?

Speaker 4 (48:45):
Are you saying like a task or like a skill, a.

Speaker 1 (48:47):
Task, a task, not even task, but like it could
be like I want to get in good shape, and
I wish I could just stap my finger. I know
that would take months to do, but it could be that.
But what what is your guys's mine is?

Speaker 2 (49:03):
Although it would be the get in shape thing, but
the more practical one is to finally finish my wedding album.

Speaker 1 (49:11):
What no one's clamoring for that hunt.

Speaker 2 (49:15):
But we have already paid for this wedding album and
it's been almost a year and I have not finished
hard doing it.

Speaker 1 (49:24):
Then if you're paying for it, because.

Speaker 2 (49:26):
Every time I start doing it, I get distracted and
I'm like I don't want to go.

Speaker 1 (49:30):
I mean, like, why are they putting it together for you?

Speaker 2 (49:32):
Because we have to choose which photos we want in there? Okay,
and then they the company puts it together and so
it's like thousands of photos you have to choose like
one hundred. Yeah, I'm like three quarters of the way there,
but I just cannot finish.

Speaker 3 (49:48):
I feel like you could do this.

Speaker 1 (49:50):
Wait, why what is the hold up? Like why can't
you do it? Like? What when when you have like
a stillness and it's like I should do that? What
is keeping you from doing it? Like you don't want
to see pictures of yourself, You don't want to remember
a time where things were felt better and EASi here,
like what is it?

Speaker 2 (50:05):
So a part of it is option paralysis, which I
struggle with. And because I'm almost done, I know that
I'll have to go back and do a round two
to of all the folks, because you know, there's only
a certain amount that can go on the album. Yeah,
and I'm dreading the start of round two.

Speaker 1 (50:24):
Okay, why don't you give it to someone who would
like to do that, like a Kursten. That's a great idea.
I actually give it to someone who, like, you know,
throw it on the girls chat and be like, could
anyone help me by looking at these photos and pick
the ones you like? Anya? I think Like loves to
do that kind of stuff. She's really good at, like

(50:44):
helping make decisions when it comes to like. I felt
the same way about photoshoots, where I'm like, I have
to choose the ones they're gonna edit. I only get
tend to edit, Like I can't decide. I don't know
because ultimately, yeah, it should be like what you want,
but you won't notice if so.

Speaker 2 (51:00):
I honestly wouldn't care. I'm not good at asking for help.

Speaker 1 (51:02):
So thanks.

Speaker 2 (51:03):
That's actually a very good suggestion, because I.

Speaker 1 (51:05):
Think there are people that would like to do that,
like it wouldn't feel burdensome for them. But I understand
that the option paralysis is that like is but isn't
that with like isn't it with everything like picking out
furniture and picking out Yes.

Speaker 4 (51:22):
Yeah, I think one of the problems is there's too
many options, Like you need to limit, like you need
to just like take half the photos and throw them
in the garbage, so then you just have less to
choose from.

Speaker 2 (51:31):
But I still have to go through them, which is
what I'm not good at.

Speaker 4 (51:34):
Don't even go through them, just throw them out you
don't have them, and then you have half left and
then it's That's one of the they've done studies on
this about happiness in general, where if you have more
than like three to five options, it actually makes you
less happy because you're just thinking about all the different
ways that you could get the choice wrong, Whereas if
you just have like A or B or C, then

(51:56):
you just make that decision quickly and you're much happier,
even if the thing you ultimately wind up with is
not as good as if you had one hundred different
options and you could pick the number one best one, right, Well.

Speaker 2 (52:07):
That makes sense. I just be happy with the fact
that I got the task done.

Speaker 1 (52:10):
How many times have you been ordering makeup online and
there's too many colors to choose from, and so you
just don't choose any No, really every time, all the time.
For me, whether it's like a color of lipstick or
a color of foundation, I'm like, I know that it's
nice that they have many colors because there are many
different colors of people and lips and things like that.
But good god, I don't think we need that many. Yeah,

(52:33):
I'm I'm with you on that.

Speaker 4 (52:35):
Like with shoes, like I get these running shoes and
they have I get Brooks running shoes and like they
have like three choices of color variations.

Speaker 1 (52:43):
I love how certain shoe companies are just like, fuck you,
there's one page of results. Yeah, you're not even gonna
go to the When I go to like anthropology to
look at like new arrivals or like just tops, it's
like a thousand pages of things you can go through,
and I just can't.

Speaker 4 (53:02):
I can't give me the best ones, the ones that
are proven to be they are.

Speaker 1 (53:06):
The best sellers, and that's just that they could lie
to you. It's like when I used to work at
a restaurant and whenever they would do the special of
the week, it was just whatever leftover shit they had.
They would throw it in a stew and say this
is our special, and it would make it seem special,
but it wasn't special. It was just the leftover. So
I always feel like the best sellers or stuff they're

(53:26):
trying to like offload.

Speaker 4 (53:27):
There was someone saying this to me or something or
heard it on TV show where it's like, no matter
what you do when you go to a restaurant, don't
get like the fish stew or the buoya base or something,
because all that is is two day old fish put
in to a stew.

Speaker 1 (53:45):
So never I think there's ever a fish stew anywhere.
That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (53:50):
They say, they've been telling me for years, never get
the fish stew.

Speaker 1 (53:53):
I just think that specials are oftentimes not unless there's
a really nice restaurant where they're like, we just got
the certain amount of this fish. Like, I think specials
generally are things they're running out of and they just
want to like kind of shove them all the other
But I could be wrong.

Speaker 4 (54:06):
That's what are your restaurants too. If you go to
a restaurant, I mean, like if it's like cheesecake factory
and they have like every single food on the menu,
it's much harder to make a decision then if you
go to a place that just has like fifteen options
that we know are good.

Speaker 1 (54:22):
Yeah. I mean, my thing that I would want done
if I snap my fingers is getting rid of crap
and like little cords and little like buttons and shit
like all the drawers, all the things that I have
that I don't want, Like it's been really hard for
me to I just went through my I did a
purge the other day and got rid of like five

(54:45):
suitcases of clothing. Wo and I finally got rid of
underwear that I don't want that I've been like having
for five years, you know, like just this, and I
just don't wear that underwear. I only wear thongs now,
like I just don't really unless I'm going I sleep
in underwear that are like on my you know what,
bikini style, but like, I only wear thong. I've trained

(55:06):
my ass to be chapped and calloused enough that I
don't feel it. It's like flossing. Wearing thongs is like flossing.
If you do it every once in a while, it's
highly annoying and you're like bleeding. You're bleeding. Your ass
is bleeding. And everyone knows that you don't wear thongs
a lot because you're like ugh. But then if you
wear them every day, you just get used to them.
It truly is so uncomfortable when you first wear thongs.

(55:26):
I couldn't even believe that anyone ever did it. And
now I hate wearing them to bed because I want to,
but I only kept some underwear to wear to bed,
and then I got rid of and you can't donate underwear, right,
so it's just like putting all this underwear in a
bag and like just you're throwing it into a landfill,
like it's not going anywhere. There's no recycling going on,

(55:47):
and that really stresses me out. And I got rid
of all my socks that don't aren't ankle socks. All
of my socks that go below my ankle gone. And
that was like, I'm not joking you. Seventy pairs of
socks that I just doing a bag, just ones that
go above my ankles, like high above or that Emily
told me to buy it. I'll show you.

Speaker 2 (56:07):
I was gonna say, is that an almost Yeah?

Speaker 1 (56:10):
They all the way up?

Speaker 3 (56:11):
Oh, they go all the way up.

Speaker 1 (56:13):
I just love them. They're like they're so comfortable to
put on. I like the fabric. They don't have that
like fuzzy feel like I like them to feel like.
I don't know that some socks when I can see
if your sock the sellow out of your sock, you
can see the fuzz. I want to die. I want
a hard like. I want to sock that doesn't have
like fuzz in wool. I don't like wool like no,

(56:33):
I don't like polyester because that makes me sweat. I
want to be cotton, but I want to be like
a hard cotton. I don't know what I'm saying, but
like the gray toed Haynes ones with the white and
the gray.

Speaker 3 (56:43):
Toe, that'szzr. So the the I can't believe.

Speaker 4 (56:48):
In the early two thousands, we were convinced to wear
socks that go.

Speaker 3 (56:52):
Below the ankle.

Speaker 1 (56:53):
Final thought.

Speaker 4 (56:54):
I look back at those and I'm like, especially guys,
I'm like why, Like the the, I can't think of
anything less flattering than wearing a sock that like you.

Speaker 1 (57:03):
Basically, I still think it looks good, but I can't
wear it because it makes you look old. I you know,
it's like the middle part thing. I just won't do it.
It make I feel like it just I would wear
because I have long legs, and I feel like it
makes your legs look longer to wear no sock.

Speaker 3 (57:18):
Oh, you have more.

Speaker 4 (57:19):
Angle legs if you have long legs, especially skinny long legs,
especially if you're a guy, you have to wear long socks.

Speaker 3 (57:25):
I mean, there's just no, there's no way around it.

Speaker 1 (57:27):
Why because you don't want your legs to look long
and skinny?

Speaker 4 (57:30):
Yeah, yeah, of course, Oh yeah, okay, do thick trunks.

Speaker 1 (57:34):
I have long, muscular legs, and so I don't like
the ankle sock look because I feel like it makes
me look stubby and muscular. And I wanted that extra
ankle length, but I don't get it anymore, you know,
Like I do think it looks better to have your
angle exposed. But that's just not what the trend is.

Speaker 3 (57:49):
That's not it no more.

Speaker 4 (57:50):
It'll be that in twenty years and twenty years, they'll
be disgusting to wear high socks and you'll have to
wear what ankle socks again? It the I do kind
of like how everything's trending back towards the eighties now.
Like if you go to like at the gym or something,
everyone's wearing like like the same type tank tops. Oh
my god, yeah, baggy tank tops. Some people are just

(58:10):
wearing like full fledged like baggy sweatshirts. But also like
the socks are eighties socks, they're just like workout video
what are those call those ankle socks? Yeah, like an
so you're like ankle warmers going into leggings. That's just
the eighties, amazing. No one they didn't think of this,
gen z did not think of this.

Speaker 1 (58:29):
No we thought of it. I don't. I can't even
wear like, I don't even know what to wear for
leggings anymore. I don't think leggings are in. And if
you do wear a legging, I saw a thing about this,
you have to wear a sweatshirt that covers your butt.
Like it is not cool anymore to wear a sweatshirt
above your buttah, and with yoga pants. Girls, did you
know this? I didn't know this, But it makes you

(58:51):
look like a soccer mom. And so you have to
wear a really long sweatshirt that covers your butt, which
I think is a better look. It's like more modest.
And I'm not one for being like cover yourselves up, ladies,
But like with me, with my flat ass, that can
actually have four quadrants sometimes, like I feel like I
have four butt cheeks. Sometimes I like to have more

(59:11):
coverage on my butt. Girls, you should be showing off
your butts all the time. I would be flashing my
ass non stop. If I sit in.

Speaker 2 (59:19):
Style anymore, you just said we have to cover it.

Speaker 1 (59:23):
Well no, no, I mean your bare ass. I would
be I would be getting little idy bikinis. Girls are
always complaining about, like why are there no butt coverage?
If you have a full, big ass, don't cover it up.
You don't need butt coverage. You have a big butt
that has like a nice shape to it, even if
it's big. It's like if yours has like all these

(59:44):
different divots in it, I understand why wanting to cover
it up. Mine has divots.

Speaker 3 (59:48):
So that always been I mean, I try, I.

Speaker 1 (59:53):
Try, I could try anything. I could probably get a
BBL in the right place it's the front of my
face in an hour to fix it. But it's just
like I always a flat ass.

Speaker 4 (01:00:02):
That's not like something that's happened over time. That's it's
always been like that you're saying, I no.

Speaker 1 (01:00:08):
I think it's like with age. It's like with kind
of the sagging nature of skin. But it's also with
when I used to be really skinny, like that's the
first place, like I'd already don't have fat there anyway,
and then when I'm really skinny, it's like there's it's
just a little hanging skin in the skin, you skin.

Speaker 3 (01:00:26):
You need more fat bearing on my ass.

Speaker 1 (01:00:28):
Yeah, that's what the Kardashians do. They literally get their
fat put on their ass.

Speaker 4 (01:00:32):
And they take it from other places. If you get
the fat put in your ass as that just for
a stomach, I mean, I would love to donate some
if that was possible, I would.

Speaker 1 (01:00:40):
I would love to have your stomach on my ass.
I wonder if it's.

Speaker 4 (01:00:45):
Looks like an ass, to be honest with you, really, yeah,
like the way that it's hanging out now, it really
like if you just like took out of context the
picture of my button and remove the belly button and
it would look like an ass.

Speaker 1 (01:00:56):
Yeah all right, I'll take your word for it. We
got to go. Thank you for the podcast this week.
Happy birthday, Kirsten. You guys, we'll see you next week.
Tickets are on sale. They're all selling a lot, so
I really appreciate you all coming out to see me.
There are some tickets available on certain markets. Nickyglazer dot com.

(01:01:18):
People listening to podcast, We'll see you next week, don't
be good bye. The Nicki Glazer podcast is a production
by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeart podcasts created
and hosted by me Nicki Glazer, co hosted by Brian Frangie,
Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Hans Sonny and Noah Avior.
Edited it engineered by Lean and Loaf, video production Mark Canton,

(01:01:39):
and music by Anya Marina. You can now watch full
episodes of the Nicki Glazer podcast on YouTube, follow at
Nicki Glazer Pod and subscribe to our channel

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