November 25, 2025 • 30 mins
What if Brandon wasn’t responsible for these deaths? What if the real reason was right under our noses the entire time? Though many victims’ advocates maintain that Brandon is guilty, many others don’t think so. In fact, his defenders point out, each of the suicide victims had previously attempted suicide before, and all of them had major relationship issues. Plus, they tended to be heavy alcohol and drug users, who were also taking powerful prescription medication. In this episode we investigate all possibilities and discuss our conclusions with experts.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
A warning.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
This episode discusses youth depression and suicide. These topics may
be distressing for some listeners.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
I do feel bad for Brion Grossheim. I mean, the
young man has been accused of a lot of things.
He's not been found guilty of anything, He's not been
found liable of anything. Yet his name is in every
major newspaper across America as a result of being tied
into this, and you know, he has suffered as a
result of these lawsities. You know, I understand that the
(00:33):
families have lost their children and they're upset, But I
do feel bad for Brandon.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
That's the lawyer for Brandon Grosheim, named Curtis Niwald. I
talked to him ahead of Brandon's civil trial, which is
scheduled for next year. Brandon is being sued by the
parents of two of the Kirksville suicide victims. They claim
that if not for Brandon's influence, their sons would still
(00:59):
be today.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Now.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Is it predictable that Brandon's lawyer would defend him, Yes,
of course, but he's not the only one. Many people
we interviewed for this story came to Brandon's defense, Even
people who are close friends with the victims. This includes
Ethan Trauer, a former Truman State student. Ethan's ex boyfriend
(01:26):
is Josh Thomas, the fourth suicide victim, who killed himself
in April of twenty seventeen at the Alpha Kappa Lambda House.
Ethan says he never met Brandon Grosheim. In fact, he
never even heard about Brandon until BuzzFeed News published an
article about him in twenty nineteen entitled a fraternity member
(01:48):
who had a fascination with death allegedly encouraged five people
to kill themselves. Suffice it to say, Ethan doesn't blame Brandon,
and no one else he knows does either.
Speaker 4 (02:02):
I know none of my friends who were friends with Josh,
they didn't blame him.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
I know that.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
We also talked to a young woman named Elena Bora, who,
during her time at Truman State, was close friends with
Josh Thomas.
Speaker 4 (02:17):
Yeah, Josh and I were very close. I saw him
every day. It's like how much I would see my
partner now.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
You know.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
In an earlier episode, Elena described how Josh was a
life of the party type famous for his twerking. At
Truman State, Josh became friends with Brandon Grosheim and they
worked together at Pollyey's Pizza, and then when Josh was
found hanging at the Alpha Kapa Lambda fraternity house, a
(02:44):
piece of paper with Brandon's email addresses was found next
to his body. Josh's friend Elena knows these stories. She
knows all the stories about Brandon, and yet she doesn't
blame him.
Speaker 4 (03:00):
I have a hard time with all of the emphasis
on Brandon because we failed Brandon too. Ran Did Bean
do things from us as a community that he did
not get? I think the worst thing that we can
accuse him of is I think it's possible that he
(03:20):
did not discourage Josh from dying by suicide. And I
think it's possible that they were spending time together and
looked up how to tie it is. But in no
way does that mean that Brandon killed him.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
This was kind of a record skip moment when I
heard her say this. Here we were talking about how
she didn't blame Brandon, when all of a sudden she said,
it's possible that together they looked up how to tie.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
In noops, what exactly was going on here?
Speaker 2 (03:58):
This podcast series tells the story of the most infamous
suicide cluster in American history. It's a production of iHeart
Podcasts and Cool Fire Studios. I'm your host Ben Westoff
along with Ryan Crawl.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
This is the Peacemaker.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Elena Bora went to Truman State but now lives back
in Kansas City, where she's from. At Truman, she was
close friends with the suicide victim Josh Thomas. When we
talked on the phone, she spoke a lot about Josh
and also about Brandon Grosheim, whom she also knew. I
was shocked to hear her say she thought it was
possible they looked up how to tie a news together,
(04:45):
and I asked her if she had any evidence of this.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
No, Josh ever talked to me about any of that.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Is that just are you just guessing that could have happened?
Speaker 4 (04:55):
This is just in my mind, workst case scenario, what
possibly we could pen on Brandon.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
She also said she hadn't heard anyone accuse Brandon of this,
but I had. Near the beginning of this series, you'll
recall a woman named Tristan Wiser said Brandon sent text
messages to the second suicide victim, Jake Hughes about how
to end it.
Speaker 5 (05:22):
I remember he had texted Jake things about how to
do it, and how to end it if he really
wanted to put himself out of it. I remember that
being said how to tie it. I believe it was
how to tie it, how to tie it ak not
that would need to be done.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Tristan also could not verify this claim. Hearing this type
of allegation twice certainly made my ears prick up. It's
not something that the police were aware of at all,
at least it's not in their public reports. I was surprised, though,
that this didn't really seem to concern Elena. She didn't
(05:59):
see brand as the boogeyman. Instead, she saw this situation
as a lot more complex, like Brandon is not.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
The reason Josh Dai Trueman is not the reason Josh
Day the person who caused this first trauma, and Josh
is not the reason Josh died. Josh died of a
preventable and fatal psychic wound that could have been healed
at any of those moments if we as a community
had those systems for healing.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Elena brings really good energy. She's extremely thoughtful and eloquent.
She actually said she learned a lot of difficult but
important lessons from Josh's suicide. It helped inspire her, in fact,
to become a therapist.
Speaker 4 (06:45):
I think a lot of the reason I became a
therapist is because of what happened with Josh. Right, I
think I was looking to fix myself. I think I
thought I was broken, and I think I was looking
for a way to understand what happened, but from happening
to people closest to me.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Given all of her professional training, not to mention her
empathetic demeanor, Elena is exactly the kind of friend I'd
want if I were in the midst of a tragedy
like the Kirksville suicide cluster. To be honest, talking with
her made me wonder what would have happened if she
was the one who was close with all of those
(07:24):
kids who died, rather than Brandon. I suspect she would
have given them better advice. My main takeaway from my
(07:51):
conversation with Elena was that she's right. The reasons people
kill themselves can be complex. It's not just necess necessarily
one thing or one person. In fact, each of these
Kirksville suicide victims, every single one of them, had serious
problems long before their friendships with Brandon.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Take Josh Thomas.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
As I mentioned, he was the fourth suicide victim in
this cluster. He had just recently joined Alpha Kapa Lambda,
and he was pretty gung ho about it according to
his friends. But he was not what you would think
of as a typical fratbro. He was gay and he
was out of the closet, although that actually wasn't a
(08:38):
very big deal at AKL. What many people didn't know
is that Josh had a very dark past. He had
been raped when he was younger and had done sex work.
His time at Truman State was very difficult as well.
In early twenty seventeen, he faced a sexual harassment charge
from another male student following an incident at an AKL mixer.
(09:03):
This is AKL member Austin Kerwood talking to police.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
He was like hitting the guy.
Speaker 6 (09:10):
He didn't know this book the day wasn't gay, and
he made him uncomfortable and SOB filed a grievance against him.
Speaker 5 (09:15):
Josh.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
He said that the resolution was that he had to
go to like a like an alcoholic class or something.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
The other student mentioned in this dispute filed a Title
nine complaint. Apparently, Josh apologized and the student forgave him. Then,
in March, on a spring break trip, Josh attempted to
take his own life. He traveled to South Padre Island
in Texas with a bunch of friends and fraternity brothers.
(09:47):
At one point on that trip, he put a belt
around his neck, and at another point he threatened to
stab himself with a steak knife. It's hard to know
exactly what prompted this. According to a report that was
later commissioned by Truman State, Josh had been rejected by
a guy on a dating app. The guy in the
(10:10):
dating app apparently called Josh fat. Another friend of Josh's
believed he felt like he wasn't living up to the
expectations he had set for himself. Once he was back
in Kirksville following that tumultuous spring break, Josh told his
fraternity brothers he was going through a rough patch.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Still.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
He insisted he was now feeling better, but the truth
is he had other issues. He'd been taking antidepressants, but
a few months earlier had been told to stop because
they were no longer covered by his father's health insurance.
He saw a counselor and at some point went on
a different antidepressant, but his medication was supplemented with lots
(10:56):
of alcohol. According to many sources, he was drinking quite
heavily at this time. He also smoked weed. One of
Josh's ex boyfriends said Josh was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
Another of Josh's ex boyfriends, Ethan Trauer, believed that while
(11:16):
they were dating, Josh was cheating on him, and so
in response, Josh's boyfriend Ethan started cutting himself and said
he would commit suicide if Josh wasn't there, according to
a police report, Fortunately, Ethan never killed himself. I spoke
with him not long ago, and it sounds like he's
(11:39):
doing a lot better. But what jumps out at me
is just how much suicide was on everyone's minds during
this era. In the midst of the suicide cluster, all
sorts of Truman State students were thinking dark thoughts. In fact,
when Brandon Grosheim met with the guidance counselor, he gave
her a list of people he believed were fragile and
(12:01):
needed counseling. The list included six people. As we alluded
to before, Grossheim seemed to keep close track of everyone
he knew who was emotionally disturbed. Fortunately, no one on
this list ended up killing themselves. But something else that's
startling is how frequently people in our story would use
(12:23):
suicide threats as weapons. That is, they would threaten to
kill themselves in order to coax love from someone, or
intimacy or sex. You might remember the two women we
talked about earlier in the series who claimed Brandon Grossheim's
seduced them by implying he'd have nothing to live for
(12:44):
if they.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Didn't sleep with him.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
Then there was the third suicide victim, Alex Vote, who
said he'd kill himself if his girlfriend Madeline broke up
with him. She stayed together with him, but he killed
himself anyway. In the Kirksville suicide cluster, only one victim
left a suicide note, at least that we know about.
(13:08):
That was Josh Thomas, and it was actually something like
a manifesto.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
The night of his death began like this.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
On the evening of April fifth, twenty seventeen, he drove
to Saint Louis for a panic at the disco concert.
When he returned home that night, very late, he came
over to the fraternity. Now keep in mind that while
Josh was a member of AKL.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
He didn't live at the house.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
He lived in the dorms, but for some reason that
night after the concert, he came to the house and
apparently without talking to anyone, he entered a storage room
on the fraternity's second floor.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
It's not entirely clear what all.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
This room was used for beyond storing a bunch of
old chairs and other items, but it was somewhere Josh
could get some privacy, and he sat down at a
table and began typing on his laptop. He appears to
have been in a state of extreme agitation. One Corra
page he'd opened pose the question does it hurt to
(14:12):
die of a.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Sleeping pill overdose?
Speaker 2 (14:15):
He was also writing a personal essay, one that ultimately
doubled as his suicide note, and then at some point
after four am, he hung himself in the room with
a dog leash. Josh was found soon after. A fraternity
member's girlfriend found a napkin that Josh had slipped under
(14:36):
the door before he killed himself. On the napkin was written,
smoke a ball in my memory, Stay perfect, guys, Josh.
The napkin had forty eight dollars cash inside of it.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
But that wasn't all.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
It turns out, Josh had left another napkin which was
draped over his laptop, which said read me, reference to
the essay he'd written still sitting there open on his laptop.
This essay, the Manifesto, was Josh's suicide note. It described
Josh's trauma following being raped at age fifteen. The essay
(15:18):
was called T Virus Takedown, with T standing for trauma
and the virus a metaphor for his unrelenting psychological distress
from the rape. I tried fighting off the virus, he
concluded in the essay, it just became too strong. No
(15:39):
matter how much treatment I got or how many people
I surrounded myself with, I just couldn't win. I'm so sorry.
I just can't do it anymore. I love you all,
but I lost.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
Now.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
As for the piece of paper with Brandon's email addresses
that was found near Josh's body, it's not clear where
that came from. It may have fallen out of Josh's pocket.
Why he would have had it is also unclear. According
to the civil lawsuit filed against Brandon, at one point
Josh told Brandon he was the person he trusted more
(16:18):
than anyone else. But Brandon told The New Yorker that
at the time of Josh's death, Brandon's phone was broken
and that they hadn't spoken for a bit. Whatever the case,
Josh's suicide manifesto made one thing very clear. He drew
a direct line from being raped to committing suicide. There
(16:42):
was nothing about Brandon in the essay, and so for
that reason, it seems difficult to blame Brandon for his death. Listen,
I'm not trying to let Brandon off the hook, and
I'm not saying it's entirely clear cut. If Brandon helped
Josh look up suone side techniques, for example, that's inexcusable.
(17:04):
But Josh undoubtedly had strong demons. There was his trauma
from the rape, not to mention self loathing for some
of his own actions. His substance abuse may have been
a contributing factor, too, not to mention his on again,
off again use of antidepressants. There was clearly a lot
(17:26):
more at play here than just the influence of Brandon Grossheim.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Like We've said over.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
And over, it's a disturbing pattern how close Brandon was
to all of these guys who killed themselves, But there
were other patterns as well, like previous suicide attempts, recent
bad breakups with lovers, and major substance abuse issues. These
patterns make one wonder what if Brandon Grossheim wasn't to
(17:57):
blame for these deaths. What if instead the problem was trauma, sex,
and drugs. As shocking as the Kirksville suicide cluster was,
(18:27):
clusters in particular aren't anything new.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
In the US.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
This phenomenon came on too many people's radars in the
nineteen eighties. Early in this series, we talked about a
famous suicide cluster from nineteen eighty seven in Bergenfield, New Jersey.
Two young men had a pair of sisters entered into
a suicide pact and then died after sitting in a
running car in a closed garage. The case was highly
(18:56):
publicized and inspired as many as thirty five image, all
of whom killed themselves in similar ways. After the Bergenfield deaths,
the New York Times published a story with the headline
youth suicide a common pattern. The story quoted a professor
of child psychiatry at Columbia University named doctor David Schaeffer,
(19:20):
who said that suicide packs like this one were actually
very uncommon, but he added in a high proportion of
youth suicides, particularly among older teenagers, drugs.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
Or alcohol are involved.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
In another story from nineteen eighty seven, the Bergen County
Record wrote, most authorities attribute the suicide epidemic to the
soaring incidents of drug and alcohol abuse in the last decades.
The story also quoted an expert who said substance abuse
was implicated in more than sixty percent of teenage suicides.
(19:57):
For the Kirksville suicide cluster victims, drugs and alcohol were
simply part.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Of the landscape. According to everyone we talked to.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
Booze was an integral part of the Truman State University experience,
and drug use was rampant at the two locations where
the deaths took place, the Alpha Kappa Lambdahouse and the
Journal Building apartment complex. I think that's a highly overlooked
aspect of this story. Alex Mullins, the first suicide victim,
(20:29):
had been drinking the night of his death and sent
a message to his fraternity brothers, reading, if anyone has
drugs in Kirksville that is here, please hit me up.
I don't care the price, not having a good night.
Just need to forget. Jake Hughes, the second victim, dealt drugs.
(20:49):
He did LSD, and, according to one of his fraternity brothers,
suffered from substance abuse, though the member didn't specify which substance.
Hughes had also been drinking the night of his death.
Alex Vote, the third victim, also took LSD, and, like
the first two victims, had been drinking the night of
(21:12):
his death. Josh Thomas, the fourth victim, was in AA
according to one of his friends, and was likely high
the night of his death, according to one of his
fraternity brothers. Glenna HoTT, who died of a ruptured liver,
had been recently told by a doctor that if she
didn't stop drinking.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
She would die.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
According to her autopsy, severe acute alcohol intoxication may have contributed.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
To her death.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
The fact that many, if not all, of the victims
had been drinking or using drugs the knights of their
deaths may be significant, according to a counselor we.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
Talked to named Fix Schwartz.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Vick Schwartz was brought to Truman in the wake of
the deaths to speak to students on camp.
Speaker 7 (22:01):
Most drugs impair people's sense of judgment and their ability
to evaluate things clearly. Certainly, when people are intoxicated, they're
you know, we talk about people being disinhibited, So people
who are intoxicated or high on drugs will you know,
(22:22):
almost we take for branded that they will do things
they might not in other circumstances be willing to do.
Many people who die by suicide have alcohol in their
system at the time of their death. The alcohol may
have disinhipited them sufficiently.
Speaker 8 (22:41):
To you know, sort of give them the quote but
I hate using the chum courage, but give them the
ability to take actions that they otherwise wouldn't be able
to do, because you know, they'd have the ability to
evaluate the consequences of what they're doing.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
Now.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
Of course, lots of young people, lots of college students,
drink too much, smoke weed, do psychedelics, you name it,
and then they just go on with their lives. But
I think there's an important distinction here because most of
the Kirksville victims had extensive mental health issues. All four
(23:19):
suicide victims had tried killing themselves before, and they weren't
just abusing alcohol and illegal drugs. They were also on
highly potent pharmaceutical drug cocktails. All four suicide victims and
Glenna HoTT took prescription medications ranging from antidepressants and antipsychotics
(23:43):
to benzodiazepines and amphetamines. These were prescribed by doctors, yes,
but make no mistake, they are extremely powerful drugs, and
many explicitly worn against combining with alcohol. Even anti de
pressints have been connected to suicide. In two thousand and four,
(24:04):
the FDA began requiring all antidepressants to carry a warning
saying that they may increase the risk of suicidal ideation
and behavior in children and adolescents. A twenty ten paper
in the scientific journal CNS Neuroscience and Therapeutics said antidepressants
(24:26):
can increase the risk of suicidal thoughts and behavior in
certain patients under certain conditions. When it comes to the
Kirksville deaths, it's impossible to sort out if and how
all of these substances, pharmaceutical and otherwise.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
Affected the victims.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
And it's also difficult to untangle Brandon Grossheim from all
of this. After all, Brandon was dropping acid and smoking
weed and drinking with many members of this group. It
may have been irresponsible of him to do so, but
he certainly wasn't the only one. One thing we can't
(25:06):
blame Brandon for was the victim's romantic troubles, and that
was another major factor in these deaths because right down
the line, every single one of the victims, the two Alex's, Jake,
Josh and Glenna, had suffered recent heartbreak. Alex Mullen's girlfriend
(25:26):
had broken up with him the night before he died.
It's kind of a devastating story. According to a police report,
they'd been drifting apart when he saw her at a
Kirksville bar that night, and they hugged. A bit later,
he sent her a message from across the bar asking
if they were still together, and then she basically broke
(25:47):
up with him over text. Jake Hughes, meanwhile, was in
a big fight with his girlfriend the night of his death.
He remained really upset about Alex Mullins's death three weeks earlier,
and he didn't think his girlfriend was doing enough to
support him in his time of mourning. When alex Votes
(26:08):
girlfriends said she wanted to break up with him, he
threatened suicide. She ended up staying with him, but he
still killed himself. Then there was the case of Josh Thomas.
As noted, Josh had been raped at age fifteen, and
he'd more recently had all sorts of relationship issues. He
(26:29):
felt guilty for having cheated on a boyfriend, and then
a different boyfriend had also suspected him of cheating. Finally,
there was Glenna Hawk, who also had major relationship drama.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
She just had a huge fight with her.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
Boyfriend over her drinking, and then, after leaving their home,
appears to have drank herself to death. Remember the Sorrows
of Young Worther, the eighteenth century novel by German writer
Johann Wolfgang von Gerte that depicts the suicide of a
heartbroken young man. The themes of this book reverberate in
(27:09):
many ways with the stories of the Kirksville suicide cluster.
You can almost imagine that some of these young people's
interior monologues were like those of young Werther, who falls
in love with a woman named Charlotte. The problem is
that Charlotte is promised to another man and can never
be his. Here's producer Ryan reading from the book as
(27:33):
Werther talks to himself.
Speaker 6 (27:37):
I have so much and my feeling for her devours
everything I have so much, and without her everything is nothing.
I have no prayer anymore but her, no shape or form,
but hers appears in my imagination and everything in the
world all around me. I see only her in relation
(27:57):
to ade. I see no into this misery but the grave.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
All of this to say that while there's certainly a
strong case to be made for Brandon Grosheim's culpability in
these deaths, there's also a strong case against it. There's
a lot of nuance to these stories, and it takes
time to sort through them all. You wouldn't know it, though,
from some of the headlines. In the case death obsessed
(28:26):
Fratbrough pushed five people to kill themselves read the New
York Post headline read CNN. A fraternity member gave step
by step directions to five people who then killed themselves
a lawsuit alleges. In our next and final episode, we'll
talk about how the media not only got the story wrong,
(28:49):
but may have brainwashed people against Brandon. We'll sort through
everything that actually happened with Brandon and try to give
a final assessment of his role in the Kirksville suit
side cluster.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
We'll also explore the.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
Surprising reverberations this story has had on its victims, the
fraternity and school, and the entire.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
City of Kirksville. That's next time on the Peacemaker.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
The Peacemaker is a production of Cool Fire Studios.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
And iHeart Podcasts.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
It's hosted by me Ben Westoff and Ryan Krawl. Our
executive producers are Jeff Keene, David Johnson, and Steve Lubert.
Music and audio engineering by Brent Johnson. Executive producers for
iHeart Podcasts are Katrina Norvell and Nicki Etour. If you
are someone you know is having suicidal thoughts, there are
(29:51):
resources available to you. Please call the Suicide and Crisis
Lifeline nine eight eight
A warning.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
This episode discusses youth depression and suicide. These topics may
be distressing for some listeners.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
I do feel bad for Brion Grossheim. I mean, the
young man has been accused of a lot of things.
He's not been found guilty of anything, He's not been
found liable of anything. Yet his name is in every
major newspaper across America as a result of being tied
into this, and you know, he has suffered as a
result of these lawsities. You know, I understand that the
(00:33):
families have lost their children and they're upset, But I
do feel bad for Brandon.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
That's the lawyer for Brandon Grosheim, named Curtis Niwald. I
talked to him ahead of Brandon's civil trial, which is
scheduled for next year. Brandon is being sued by the
parents of two of the Kirksville suicide victims. They claim
that if not for Brandon's influence, their sons would still
(00:59):
be today.
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Now.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Is it predictable that Brandon's lawyer would defend him, Yes,
of course, but he's not the only one. Many people
we interviewed for this story came to Brandon's defense, Even
people who are close friends with the victims. This includes
Ethan Trauer, a former Truman State student. Ethan's ex boyfriend
(01:26):
is Josh Thomas, the fourth suicide victim, who killed himself
in April of twenty seventeen at the Alpha Kappa Lambda House.
Ethan says he never met Brandon Grosheim. In fact, he
never even heard about Brandon until BuzzFeed News published an
article about him in twenty nineteen entitled a fraternity member
(01:48):
who had a fascination with death allegedly encouraged five people
to kill themselves. Suffice it to say, Ethan doesn't blame Brandon,
and no one else he knows does either.
Speaker 4 (02:02):
I know none of my friends who were friends with Josh,
they didn't blame him.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
I know that.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
We also talked to a young woman named Elena Bora, who,
during her time at Truman State, was close friends with
Josh Thomas.
Speaker 4 (02:17):
Yeah, Josh and I were very close. I saw him
every day. It's like how much I would see my
partner now.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
You know.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
In an earlier episode, Elena described how Josh was a
life of the party type famous for his twerking. At
Truman State, Josh became friends with Brandon Grosheim and they
worked together at Pollyey's Pizza, and then when Josh was
found hanging at the Alpha Kapa Lambda fraternity house, a
(02:44):
piece of paper with Brandon's email addresses was found next
to his body. Josh's friend Elena knows these stories. She
knows all the stories about Brandon, and yet she doesn't
blame him.
Speaker 4 (03:00):
I have a hard time with all of the emphasis
on Brandon because we failed Brandon too. Ran Did Bean
do things from us as a community that he did
not get? I think the worst thing that we can
accuse him of is I think it's possible that he
(03:20):
did not discourage Josh from dying by suicide. And I
think it's possible that they were spending time together and
looked up how to tie it is. But in no
way does that mean that Brandon killed him.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
This was kind of a record skip moment when I
heard her say this. Here we were talking about how
she didn't blame Brandon, when all of a sudden she said,
it's possible that together they looked up how to tie.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
In noops, what exactly was going on here?
Speaker 2 (03:58):
This podcast series tells the story of the most infamous
suicide cluster in American history. It's a production of iHeart
Podcasts and Cool Fire Studios. I'm your host Ben Westoff
along with Ryan Crawl.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
This is the Peacemaker.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Elena Bora went to Truman State but now lives back
in Kansas City, where she's from. At Truman, she was
close friends with the suicide victim Josh Thomas. When we
talked on the phone, she spoke a lot about Josh
and also about Brandon Grosheim, whom she also knew. I
was shocked to hear her say she thought it was
possible they looked up how to tie a news together,
(04:45):
and I asked her if she had any evidence of this.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
No, Josh ever talked to me about any of that.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Is that just are you just guessing that could have happened?
Speaker 4 (04:55):
This is just in my mind, workst case scenario, what
possibly we could pen on Brandon.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
She also said she hadn't heard anyone accuse Brandon of this,
but I had. Near the beginning of this series, you'll
recall a woman named Tristan Wiser said Brandon sent text
messages to the second suicide victim, Jake Hughes about how
to end it.
Speaker 5 (05:22):
I remember he had texted Jake things about how to
do it, and how to end it if he really
wanted to put himself out of it. I remember that
being said how to tie it. I believe it was
how to tie it, how to tie it ak not
that would need to be done.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Tristan also could not verify this claim. Hearing this type
of allegation twice certainly made my ears prick up. It's
not something that the police were aware of at all,
at least it's not in their public reports. I was surprised, though,
that this didn't really seem to concern Elena. She didn't
(05:59):
see brand as the boogeyman. Instead, she saw this situation
as a lot more complex, like Brandon is not.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
The reason Josh Dai Trueman is not the reason Josh
Day the person who caused this first trauma, and Josh
is not the reason Josh died. Josh died of a
preventable and fatal psychic wound that could have been healed
at any of those moments if we as a community
had those systems for healing.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Elena brings really good energy. She's extremely thoughtful and eloquent.
She actually said she learned a lot of difficult but
important lessons from Josh's suicide. It helped inspire her, in fact,
to become a therapist.
Speaker 4 (06:45):
I think a lot of the reason I became a
therapist is because of what happened with Josh. Right, I
think I was looking to fix myself. I think I
thought I was broken, and I think I was looking
for a way to understand what happened, but from happening
to people closest to me.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Given all of her professional training, not to mention her
empathetic demeanor, Elena is exactly the kind of friend I'd
want if I were in the midst of a tragedy
like the Kirksville suicide cluster. To be honest, talking with
her made me wonder what would have happened if she
was the one who was close with all of those
(07:24):
kids who died, rather than Brandon. I suspect she would
have given them better advice. My main takeaway from my
(07:51):
conversation with Elena was that she's right. The reasons people
kill themselves can be complex. It's not just necess necessarily
one thing or one person. In fact, each of these
Kirksville suicide victims, every single one of them, had serious
problems long before their friendships with Brandon.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Take Josh Thomas.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
As I mentioned, he was the fourth suicide victim in
this cluster. He had just recently joined Alpha Kapa Lambda,
and he was pretty gung ho about it according to
his friends. But he was not what you would think
of as a typical fratbro. He was gay and he
was out of the closet, although that actually wasn't a
(08:38):
very big deal at AKL. What many people didn't know
is that Josh had a very dark past. He had
been raped when he was younger and had done sex work.
His time at Truman State was very difficult as well.
In early twenty seventeen, he faced a sexual harassment charge
from another male student following an incident at an AKL mixer.
(09:03):
This is AKL member Austin Kerwood talking to police.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
He was like hitting the guy.
Speaker 6 (09:10):
He didn't know this book the day wasn't gay, and
he made him uncomfortable and SOB filed a grievance against him.
Speaker 5 (09:15):
Josh.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
He said that the resolution was that he had to
go to like a like an alcoholic class or something.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
The other student mentioned in this dispute filed a Title
nine complaint. Apparently, Josh apologized and the student forgave him. Then,
in March, on a spring break trip, Josh attempted to
take his own life. He traveled to South Padre Island
in Texas with a bunch of friends and fraternity brothers.
(09:47):
At one point on that trip, he put a belt
around his neck, and at another point he threatened to
stab himself with a steak knife. It's hard to know
exactly what prompted this. According to a report that was
later commissioned by Truman State, Josh had been rejected by
a guy on a dating app. The guy in the
(10:10):
dating app apparently called Josh fat. Another friend of Josh's
believed he felt like he wasn't living up to the
expectations he had set for himself. Once he was back
in Kirksville following that tumultuous spring break, Josh told his
fraternity brothers he was going through a rough patch.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Still.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
He insisted he was now feeling better, but the truth
is he had other issues. He'd been taking antidepressants, but
a few months earlier had been told to stop because
they were no longer covered by his father's health insurance.
He saw a counselor and at some point went on
a different antidepressant, but his medication was supplemented with lots
(10:56):
of alcohol. According to many sources, he was drinking quite
heavily at this time. He also smoked weed. One of
Josh's ex boyfriends said Josh was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
Another of Josh's ex boyfriends, Ethan Trauer, believed that while
(11:16):
they were dating, Josh was cheating on him, and so
in response, Josh's boyfriend Ethan started cutting himself and said
he would commit suicide if Josh wasn't there, according to
a police report, Fortunately, Ethan never killed himself. I spoke
with him not long ago, and it sounds like he's
(11:39):
doing a lot better. But what jumps out at me
is just how much suicide was on everyone's minds during
this era. In the midst of the suicide cluster, all
sorts of Truman State students were thinking dark thoughts. In fact,
when Brandon Grosheim met with the guidance counselor, he gave
her a list of people he believed were fragile and
(12:01):
needed counseling. The list included six people. As we alluded
to before, Grossheim seemed to keep close track of everyone
he knew who was emotionally disturbed. Fortunately, no one on
this list ended up killing themselves. But something else that's
startling is how frequently people in our story would use
(12:23):
suicide threats as weapons. That is, they would threaten to
kill themselves in order to coax love from someone, or
intimacy or sex. You might remember the two women we
talked about earlier in the series who claimed Brandon Grossheim's
seduced them by implying he'd have nothing to live for
(12:44):
if they.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Didn't sleep with him.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
Then there was the third suicide victim, Alex Vote, who
said he'd kill himself if his girlfriend Madeline broke up
with him. She stayed together with him, but he killed
himself anyway. In the Kirksville suicide cluster, only one victim
left a suicide note, at least that we know about.
(13:08):
That was Josh Thomas, and it was actually something like
a manifesto.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
The night of his death began like this.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
On the evening of April fifth, twenty seventeen, he drove
to Saint Louis for a panic at the disco concert.
When he returned home that night, very late, he came
over to the fraternity. Now keep in mind that while
Josh was a member of AKL.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
He didn't live at the house.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
He lived in the dorms, but for some reason that
night after the concert, he came to the house and
apparently without talking to anyone, he entered a storage room
on the fraternity's second floor.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
It's not entirely clear what all.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
This room was used for beyond storing a bunch of
old chairs and other items, but it was somewhere Josh
could get some privacy, and he sat down at a
table and began typing on his laptop. He appears to
have been in a state of extreme agitation. One Corra
page he'd opened pose the question does it hurt to
(14:12):
die of a.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Sleeping pill overdose?
Speaker 2 (14:15):
He was also writing a personal essay, one that ultimately
doubled as his suicide note, and then at some point
after four am, he hung himself in the room with
a dog leash. Josh was found soon after. A fraternity
member's girlfriend found a napkin that Josh had slipped under
(14:36):
the door before he killed himself. On the napkin was written,
smoke a ball in my memory, Stay perfect, guys, Josh.
The napkin had forty eight dollars cash inside of it.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
But that wasn't all.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
It turns out, Josh had left another napkin which was
draped over his laptop, which said read me, reference to
the essay he'd written still sitting there open on his laptop.
This essay, the Manifesto, was Josh's suicide note. It described
Josh's trauma following being raped at age fifteen. The essay
(15:18):
was called T Virus Takedown, with T standing for trauma
and the virus a metaphor for his unrelenting psychological distress
from the rape. I tried fighting off the virus, he
concluded in the essay, it just became too strong. No
(15:39):
matter how much treatment I got or how many people
I surrounded myself with, I just couldn't win. I'm so sorry.
I just can't do it anymore. I love you all,
but I lost.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
Now.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
As for the piece of paper with Brandon's email addresses
that was found near Josh's body, it's not clear where
that came from. It may have fallen out of Josh's pocket.
Why he would have had it is also unclear. According
to the civil lawsuit filed against Brandon, at one point
Josh told Brandon he was the person he trusted more
(16:18):
than anyone else. But Brandon told The New Yorker that
at the time of Josh's death, Brandon's phone was broken
and that they hadn't spoken for a bit. Whatever the case,
Josh's suicide manifesto made one thing very clear. He drew
a direct line from being raped to committing suicide. There
(16:42):
was nothing about Brandon in the essay, and so for
that reason, it seems difficult to blame Brandon for his death. Listen,
I'm not trying to let Brandon off the hook, and
I'm not saying it's entirely clear cut. If Brandon helped
Josh look up suone side techniques, for example, that's inexcusable.
(17:04):
But Josh undoubtedly had strong demons. There was his trauma
from the rape, not to mention self loathing for some
of his own actions. His substance abuse may have been
a contributing factor, too, not to mention his on again,
off again use of antidepressants. There was clearly a lot
(17:26):
more at play here than just the influence of Brandon Grossheim.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Like We've said over.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
And over, it's a disturbing pattern how close Brandon was
to all of these guys who killed themselves, But there
were other patterns as well, like previous suicide attempts, recent
bad breakups with lovers, and major substance abuse issues. These
patterns make one wonder what if Brandon Grossheim wasn't to
(17:57):
blame for these deaths. What if instead the problem was trauma, sex,
and drugs. As shocking as the Kirksville suicide cluster was,
(18:27):
clusters in particular aren't anything new.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
In the US.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
This phenomenon came on too many people's radars in the
nineteen eighties. Early in this series, we talked about a
famous suicide cluster from nineteen eighty seven in Bergenfield, New Jersey.
Two young men had a pair of sisters entered into
a suicide pact and then died after sitting in a
running car in a closed garage. The case was highly
(18:56):
publicized and inspired as many as thirty five image, all
of whom killed themselves in similar ways. After the Bergenfield deaths,
the New York Times published a story with the headline
youth suicide a common pattern. The story quoted a professor
of child psychiatry at Columbia University named doctor David Schaeffer,
(19:20):
who said that suicide packs like this one were actually
very uncommon, but he added in a high proportion of
youth suicides, particularly among older teenagers, drugs.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
Or alcohol are involved.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
In another story from nineteen eighty seven, the Bergen County
Record wrote, most authorities attribute the suicide epidemic to the
soaring incidents of drug and alcohol abuse in the last decades.
The story also quoted an expert who said substance abuse
was implicated in more than sixty percent of teenage suicides.
(19:57):
For the Kirksville suicide cluster victims, drugs and alcohol were
simply part.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Of the landscape. According to everyone we talked to.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
Booze was an integral part of the Truman State University experience,
and drug use was rampant at the two locations where
the deaths took place, the Alpha Kappa Lambdahouse and the
Journal Building apartment complex. I think that's a highly overlooked
aspect of this story. Alex Mullins, the first suicide victim,
(20:29):
had been drinking the night of his death and sent
a message to his fraternity brothers, reading, if anyone has
drugs in Kirksville that is here, please hit me up.
I don't care the price, not having a good night.
Just need to forget. Jake Hughes, the second victim, dealt drugs.
(20:49):
He did LSD, and, according to one of his fraternity brothers,
suffered from substance abuse, though the member didn't specify which substance.
Hughes had also been drinking the night of his death.
Alex Vote, the third victim, also took LSD, and, like
the first two victims, had been drinking the night of
(21:12):
his death. Josh Thomas, the fourth victim, was in AA
according to one of his friends, and was likely high
the night of his death, according to one of his
fraternity brothers. Glenna HoTT, who died of a ruptured liver,
had been recently told by a doctor that if she
didn't stop drinking.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
She would die.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
According to her autopsy, severe acute alcohol intoxication may have contributed.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
To her death.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
The fact that many, if not all, of the victims
had been drinking or using drugs the knights of their
deaths may be significant, according to a counselor we.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
Talked to named Fix Schwartz.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Vick Schwartz was brought to Truman in the wake of
the deaths to speak to students on camp.
Speaker 7 (22:01):
Most drugs impair people's sense of judgment and their ability
to evaluate things clearly. Certainly, when people are intoxicated, they're
you know, we talk about people being disinhibited, So people
who are intoxicated or high on drugs will you know,
(22:22):
almost we take for branded that they will do things
they might not in other circumstances be willing to do.
Many people who die by suicide have alcohol in their
system at the time of their death. The alcohol may
have disinhipited them sufficiently.
Speaker 8 (22:41):
To you know, sort of give them the quote but
I hate using the chum courage, but give them the
ability to take actions that they otherwise wouldn't be able
to do, because you know, they'd have the ability to
evaluate the consequences of what they're doing.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
Now.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
Of course, lots of young people, lots of college students,
drink too much, smoke weed, do psychedelics, you name it,
and then they just go on with their lives. But
I think there's an important distinction here because most of
the Kirksville victims had extensive mental health issues. All four
(23:19):
suicide victims had tried killing themselves before, and they weren't
just abusing alcohol and illegal drugs. They were also on
highly potent pharmaceutical drug cocktails. All four suicide victims and
Glenna HoTT took prescription medications ranging from antidepressants and antipsychotics
(23:43):
to benzodiazepines and amphetamines. These were prescribed by doctors, yes,
but make no mistake, they are extremely powerful drugs, and
many explicitly worn against combining with alcohol. Even anti de
pressints have been connected to suicide. In two thousand and four,
(24:04):
the FDA began requiring all antidepressants to carry a warning
saying that they may increase the risk of suicidal ideation
and behavior in children and adolescents. A twenty ten paper
in the scientific journal CNS Neuroscience and Therapeutics said antidepressants
(24:26):
can increase the risk of suicidal thoughts and behavior in
certain patients under certain conditions. When it comes to the
Kirksville deaths, it's impossible to sort out if and how
all of these substances, pharmaceutical and otherwise.
Speaker 1 (24:43):
Affected the victims.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
And it's also difficult to untangle Brandon Grossheim from all
of this. After all, Brandon was dropping acid and smoking
weed and drinking with many members of this group. It
may have been irresponsible of him to do so, but
he certainly wasn't the only one. One thing we can't
(25:06):
blame Brandon for was the victim's romantic troubles, and that
was another major factor in these deaths because right down
the line, every single one of the victims, the two Alex's, Jake,
Josh and Glenna, had suffered recent heartbreak. Alex Mullen's girlfriend
(25:26):
had broken up with him the night before he died.
It's kind of a devastating story. According to a police report,
they'd been drifting apart when he saw her at a
Kirksville bar that night, and they hugged. A bit later,
he sent her a message from across the bar asking
if they were still together, and then she basically broke
(25:47):
up with him over text. Jake Hughes, meanwhile, was in
a big fight with his girlfriend the night of his death.
He remained really upset about Alex Mullins's death three weeks earlier,
and he didn't think his girlfriend was doing enough to
support him in his time of mourning. When alex Votes
(26:08):
girlfriends said she wanted to break up with him, he
threatened suicide. She ended up staying with him, but he
still killed himself. Then there was the case of Josh Thomas.
As noted, Josh had been raped at age fifteen, and
he'd more recently had all sorts of relationship issues. He
(26:29):
felt guilty for having cheated on a boyfriend, and then
a different boyfriend had also suspected him of cheating. Finally,
there was Glenna Hawk, who also had major relationship drama.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
She just had a huge fight with her.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
Boyfriend over her drinking, and then, after leaving their home,
appears to have drank herself to death. Remember the Sorrows
of Young Worther, the eighteenth century novel by German writer
Johann Wolfgang von Gerte that depicts the suicide of a
heartbroken young man. The themes of this book reverberate in
(27:09):
many ways with the stories of the Kirksville suicide cluster.
You can almost imagine that some of these young people's
interior monologues were like those of young Werther, who falls
in love with a woman named Charlotte. The problem is
that Charlotte is promised to another man and can never
be his. Here's producer Ryan reading from the book as
(27:33):
Werther talks to himself.
Speaker 6 (27:37):
I have so much and my feeling for her devours
everything I have so much, and without her everything is nothing.
I have no prayer anymore but her, no shape or form,
but hers appears in my imagination and everything in the
world all around me. I see only her in relation
(27:57):
to ade. I see no into this misery but the grave.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
All of this to say that while there's certainly a
strong case to be made for Brandon Grosheim's culpability in
these deaths, there's also a strong case against it. There's
a lot of nuance to these stories, and it takes
time to sort through them all. You wouldn't know it, though,
from some of the headlines. In the case death obsessed
(28:26):
Fratbrough pushed five people to kill themselves read the New
York Post headline read CNN. A fraternity member gave step
by step directions to five people who then killed themselves
a lawsuit alleges. In our next and final episode, we'll
talk about how the media not only got the story wrong,
(28:49):
but may have brainwashed people against Brandon. We'll sort through
everything that actually happened with Brandon and try to give
a final assessment of his role in the Kirksville suit
side cluster.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
We'll also explore the.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
Surprising reverberations this story has had on its victims, the
fraternity and school, and the entire.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
City of Kirksville. That's next time on the Peacemaker.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
The Peacemaker is a production of Cool Fire Studios.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
And iHeart Podcasts.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
It's hosted by me Ben Westoff and Ryan Krawl. Our
executive producers are Jeff Keene, David Johnson, and Steve Lubert.
Music and audio engineering by Brent Johnson. Executive producers for
iHeart Podcasts are Katrina Norvell and Nicki Etour. If you
are someone you know is having suicidal thoughts, there are
(29:51):
resources available to you. Please call the Suicide and Crisis
Lifeline nine eight eight
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