November 4, 2021 • 23 mins
Obviously, practicing is the only way to get good at something, but can it really make you perfect? ...And is perfection something we should be striving for anyway? Perhaps sometimes...it's better to just give up. In this episode of The Pleasure is Ours, we enumerate the many skills the boys have failed to hone over the years: cup stacking, hacky-sacking, skateboarding, and video games. But all is not lost: while Kyle swears he's perfected "the JO," Anders indeed promises that, with enough practice, anyone can strap a ball-gag on their face with one hand. Also, does Adam jizz to his own jokes? Press play and find out.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
What's the show called The Pleasure is Ours? I think
I know how we're kicking it off. Do you already
know the pleasure? The Pleasure is Ours? Oh so we
(00:25):
are here, we are The Pleasure is Ours? Brought to
you by Trojan, America's number one condom brand, Trusted for
one hundred years. That's a long time. That is a
long time to put your trust into something. I wonder
like when they first like brought condoms out, when that
like a hundred years ago, were they like whoa, like
(00:48):
this is that that's just like blew the lid off
of it? Or people like I gotta say, I bet
everyone loved it. People were I bet as soon as
like because you're in those these like little you know, towns,
villages and and all the everyone is itchy. I don't know,
I'm not good with history, but a hundred years ago,
everyone's in caves, like you're, people bathe and boiling water
(01:13):
and usually die. Yeah, you're you're in your clay hut.
You're in your hut, or you're like you know, you're
in a maybe you're in a castle and you are
it's medieval times and you are in your armor and stuff.
And then they finally get your chastity belt off, and
you're like squa, oh my god. Guess what When I
(01:34):
go to battle, I wear my armor a battle in
the bedroom, I strap on a condom and they goes, well,
we call them Trojan trojan, which is which is like,
you know, Trojan horse. It had to come from the
Trojan horse. Bro It had to. It just happened to
(01:55):
it had to. Okay, So what is the day's saying?
What are we queuing up here today? It's on one.
It is a good it is a goodie. We're not
talking about game time. We're talking about practice. We're talking
about practice. We're talking about practice. You've heard the saying
you know what it is, practice makes perfect, and you
(02:19):
were talking about practice. We're talking about practice. Practice makes perfect,
which I can tell you straight up and down is bullshit.
Really okay, I grew up to that, but go ahead
tell me. Yeah. I think of one thing, because I
haven't practiced more and anything than like skateboarding, and I
have practiced so much. That is not even close to
(02:44):
true that you haven't you've never practiced anything more than skateboard.
Put more hours into directing and editing skateboard and playing guitar. Yeah,
jerking off, you jerked off all the time. But I
am perfect. I am perfect at the jail. Yeah, that's
that's one where it works. Practice does make perfect. When okay,
(03:08):
you got you walked me all the way around at
a circle and here I am. I'll spend you right around. Hey,
did you guys want to talk a little bit about
cup stacking, about how much we practiced that. Yeah, when
I first not really first met you, but when I
was befriending you guys early on cup cup stacking, and
(03:29):
the pleasure was ours. Yeah, can you explain for the
audience because probably nobody knows what cup stacking is. What
the hell it's still it's still around. It's not people.
People stay stacking. I saw a video the other day.
Cup stacking is where you have let's see, eleven cups
or twelve cups. Possibly there's no way to tell a
(03:52):
ton of cups there in two stacks, and you have
to go. You have to do two pyramids of three
to one and then one pyramid of like five for
it's the dorkiest ship in the world that is totally
totally pointless, like it's in the world real world there's no.
It doesn't like translate at least everything else that you do.
That's pretty dumb. It translates to something else, like it's
(04:14):
you're at least it's at least at like or you're
like like I hacky sacked a ton hours and hours
I practice hackey packing and I did get great, but
like it was a little workout. I would get a
little sweat going and Adam, great isn't perfect perfect, but
it's better. I feel like he's trying to, Yeah, let's
get back the cup stacking sack to that, so I'm
(04:36):
not just like a cup stacker. Don't be ashamed of
your cup stacking words. Hey, why are we putting on me?
You guys are the ones that bought the cup stacking ship.
I wasn't the one with yea. We must have spent
days on this ship trying to do these fucking formulas
of stacking these cups. Weeks weeks, months, and also none
of us even got remotely good, Like you see the
(04:59):
the kids on the internet that I could do it
in like literally under a second. Yeah, I think it's
under under three or four seconds is what they were doing. Okay, Yeah,
and we we got not even called you guys we
got under ten. I think you guys got under ten.
You guys got intense about it. It was that's what. Yeah.
We used to get in on that ship like late
night too, because we just stack ups like we've never stage.
(05:23):
And that's when I knew I'm a ride with these
guys is a group of I also think that was
a similar time in our life when we were practicing
a lot of like Guitar Hero, and I feel like
if we put in as much time as we did
on Guitar Hero and rock Band, we might have actually
been able to play the real decent band. On rock Band.
(05:45):
I remember thinking, like, we've just spent forty eight hours
playing fucking all these songs. We could remember how much
I played we bowling. I played hours and hours and
eights even did you ever get a perfect game? I
did at Beanery one time and they were having like
(06:07):
a wee bowling tournament at Barney's Beanery, which is like
a bar in l A. And I was like, Okay,
I'll do this. I play we bowling, bowled to three hundred.
I'm elated. It's like, oh my god, I have a
three D. That's a perfect game you can't do better,
and they go congratulations, they give me one pint of beer.
It was like, hey, that's that's cool. That means nothing
(06:28):
to anyone, and then give me one pint of beer.
And I was like, oh but wait, but we just
skipped over it. You got a perfect game. It's bowling.
Bowling is the one time when you practice can make
perfect bowling, is it? Yeah? That's it? Darts, darts? How
do you get perfect darts? Bull's eyes all the time?
Is that it? Yes? Okay, so has anyone ever done that?
(06:51):
Is anyone ever know? But like you could know, there's
no you. You don't win a game just by throwing
bull's eyes and darts. That's what I'm saying. Bowling is
the one the bowling is it? That's it. You can
get a perfect ten in like diving or gymnastics, you
can pitch a perfect exactly. Gymnastics the most brutally physical
(07:15):
sport known to balance. Beam's Yeah, but that's also judges discretion.
Do you think you are? I am. There's many variables
that pins don't lie, Thank you, thank you. No, he's
not wrong. I will tell you that it might be
the perfect example of where practice makes perafect. It's bowling dog.
(07:36):
That's it. That's it. As a dad, they've got they've
they've changed things for this new generation. And my kid
came home saying practice makes better. And I was like,
everybody gets Sportsman Participation Award. Okay, I'm not gonna lie, dude.
(08:00):
I like that, but it doesn't sound good. And these
things have to sound good just because of the alliteration
pp yeah, yeah, no, I hear that. I do hear that,
And I think you should live your life by alliteration.
Someone had a different one that it was it was better.
It was the same sentiment as better, but it was
like practice makes I'll come, I'll circle back. Potential winners. Yes,
(08:23):
practice okay, we'll put that on the board. That has potential,
that has potential as a winner. But obviously it's not.
It doesn't mean you're gonna get perfect. It means, like you,
your practice is striving for perfection. You're marching towards it.
So I guess when you're practicing at a young age,
we we practice a lot, right. If we're saying practices
(08:45):
is jerking off? Is that what it means is that
what we're saying, we're saying practice means jerking off, because
practice you could practice anything. I think if you're saying
practice means jerking off, then you're just like, I gotta
go practice. Well okay, well that brings up a point. Okay,
So it's because like I guess, like, when you're having
sex with someone, is that a scrimmage? Is that a practice?
(09:07):
If it's not your wife? Like are you practicing? Like
what are we practicing to get to? I see what
you're saying, Blake. The jail is the practice, and the
game is the sex. I think that's the scrimmage. And
then when you're finally having sex with your wife, that
is the game. Like once you get married on your
wedding night, that's game that you've been training your whole
(09:29):
life to have sex with your eternal partner as well
as you can. You just pleasure them. I mean, the
more you the more you practice on one other person,
the best's gonna get. I feel like there there are
we're very close. We're very close. There are partners that
you have at some point in your life where you
(09:51):
know neither you know that you're not gonna this isn't
going much for your booty call, right You know it's
not gonna go much farther than that. And you both know, Hey,
I'm practicing on you, you're practicing on me. We're both
getting better at this, at this thing called it's always
that cool relationship where like you guys are just like, yo,
(10:13):
let's just check some stuff off the list, Like, let's
do some things together that maybe we haven't done before.
Maybe is it legal some places? Not here? Not here?
Not in this state? What state are we A? Yeah? No,
But I think like when you get those things out
(10:34):
of the way that way, when you're finally with a
person who you really love or you want to impress
your you don't look like some weird rookie fumbling around
with um handcuffs or a gift mask or whatever. What wait,
what are you at, blake? If for one moment you
look like you've never either put a gift mask on
someone or war on yourself, you're immediately laughing. I know
(10:57):
how to strap a ball gag on because I've done
it before. You can strap a ball gag on with
one hand. People know this guy can fuck and maybe
make you disappear. I don't know, I don't know. This
isn't exactly where I thought this was going to go practice.
If you practice, I guarantee you could get a ball
(11:18):
gag on your on your face with one hand. Yeah,
I bet, And that's perfect practice that well. I mean, dude,
oh that made me think of that. Remember that really
cool like YouTube video of that girl who was like
really awesome at that sucking dick. She was like what
the girl was like YouTube video about it? Yeah, and
(11:40):
then they spoofed it in Girls Trip kind of that
just ye's going to work on what she she was
sucking on something. I think it was Tiffany Hattish in
that movie. Yeah, yeah, they just did that, remember what
it was. But that's the other thing. There's techniques that
require some practice. Yeah, some time to really you know,
you gotta learn. Definitely in the bedroom you do need practice.
(12:02):
This does make a lot of sense because no one
rolled up to their first time having sex and was like,
I'm perfect at that. I don't know these these kids,
these days, these TikTok generation, no, because the sensation is
unlike anything that you could practice. I don't know. I mean,
I'm just speaking for myself. I was so bad the
(12:23):
pleasure our let's talk about our first times having sex
seven years old. Sure, it started off bro was I
(12:45):
was seventeen, I want to say, and and uh and
so she and we were it was immediately following a
Blink one eight two concert and were moving at a hotel.
So yeah, So then I put on just totally not
even in thinking, I put on all the small things, sure,
because we just like went to the concert. And then
(13:07):
as I'm having sex for the very first time, I
realized that it's all the small things. And you're a
young dude, so you're you don't even know like is
my big is it's is it's small. I I don't
really know where I'm landing. And then so I'm I
go more like all the media things right like as
I'm inserting and she's she goes, what you said that
joke right and you were losing your virginia. And then
(13:29):
she's like what and I'm like because the song and
she goes okay, and then and then I already kept
come and then I had already come. You came to
your own joke. It was. It was in the midst
of fall flat more like all the medium Adams stand
(13:49):
up used to climax every time at open mic, everybody
and That's why I had to keep doing stand up
because practice makes it perfect. Boom. Now I findly don't
jiz during the set, Thank goodness, dude. It was getting
really disturbing ruined a lot of Lucky brand jeans early
on in my career. Well that's the thing though, But
(14:09):
were you like trying to prep yourself before you actually
lost your virginity? Like, were you jerking off with a
purpose and intention that like you wanted to last long
or like, did you guys ever do it to where
you would kind of bring yourself to the edge and
then like that down again as a as a teenager
and shirt That wasn't before losing my virginity. That was
(14:32):
after I found out I needed some of this trojan
delay spray. All right. Yeah, but yeah, you've been trying, uh,
you know whatever stop yourself, which is like, what the
funk is that? What is that? Like? I built it
up a lot in my head and I'm like, I
want my first time out the gate, I want to
be like pretty good, but it just never nothing like
(14:54):
the real thing. Yeah, I feel like it's you're gonna
fumble the ball no matter what first time, or or
you're too nervous that you can't come. And then and
then that the girls like are you do you hate me?
An animal? I love you? Right? No, I mean that
doesn't happen, right, everyone just comes too soon. Yeah, that's
(15:15):
not that's not even in my thought process at that time.
But the cool thing about like, all right, so let's
say you meet this girl and then you're dating. You
get in that zone where it's like, oh, we're doing
this all the time. We can practice together as opposed
to like new partner, new new thing that they're into,
a new way they feel. So that's the good way
(15:37):
to practice is to just be like we're in this together.
That's what I'm saying. The more you practice with one person,
the better it does get That is right, practice makes better. Yeah,
and that that was my move. Especially Also, I remember thinking,
like the first time I had sex and then she
allowed me to have sex with her again, Like how
(15:59):
mind blowing that was that It was like, oh, now
I'm just going to be a person that has sex
now right like now it will continue to happen. I'm
just picturing you walking through the halls of school like
I'm fucking now, what's up, dude? Me I'm just fucking
from time to time, do do do? What was I
(16:20):
doing this weekend? I'm sucking now, guys, Hey, next weekend,
I'm gonna be fucking. I think you make me come
the official sound. Meanwhile, she's she's walking down the halls
like this, don't tell anyone I had sex. Please don't
tell me. Please tell it's over. It's over if you
(16:40):
say anything. Yeah. No, I definitely walked down in my
friend's basement after it had happened, like the next day
or whatever, and we got back home, went to my
friend's house. Every everyone's hanging out in his basement shooting
pool or whatever. And I go downstairs and everyone looked
at me and they could tell. They were like, what's up, dude?
(17:02):
You had a glow? I think I was glowing, like
floated down the stairs. How did you? Guys know? Hey,
can I tell you something? You think you we had
this air about yourself. They all had cups up to
the door and we're listening to the entire because that's
high school, and you're like, what do you sit there? Yeah?
They're like, bro, that was so funny. You said all
the medium things. Google, un we're playing pool down here.
(17:26):
What were you doing? Well, they weren't even those guys
weren't even at the concerted so not not true. But
you also said you were at the hotel, right which
I was at a hotel. Yeah, you got a hotel
when you were seventeen, dude, I have an older friend
with a credit card hotel. So she was like encouraging this. Yeah,
(17:48):
that's pretty cool of her. Yeah, man's the no big deal.
We also got in trouble because we tried to grill
using a charcoal grill in the parking lot and they're
like at the hotel and they're like what then you
can't do this right here? And you tailgated tailgate My
(18:13):
We're just in the parking lot, drink of beers and
then yeah, I'm just gonna go. Man, well, hey, guys,
I told my story outcome. There's no that no one
is throwing up their story. I'm the only one with
the cool story here, I don't think so. Yeah, pretty much.
I mean I gave enough of an insight into mine
(18:33):
that I was not more than thirty seconds. It was
not even with the condom on. It was like, oh
and I'm done. I will say it was a trojan Yeah, there.
I'll say that mine was too, and I remember mine
was like a thin I don't know whatever it was,
like whatever thin version they had in the like the
(18:55):
bear skin or whatever. Yeah, whatever it was. And uh,
they've been around for a hundred years since the beginning
of civilization. I remember thinking, I'm going to have to
recalibrate what kind of condoms I have because I thought
I bought like a ton of condoms before. I was like, okay,
I need to have the right condom. And then I
brought like a variety pack. It was like bear skin,
(19:17):
yet still feel them so I know what it feels like.
And then immediately was like, I need a tarp. I
need a thick tarp that I could strap around my
dick so I don't feel anything so I can continue.
But now they got this delays brace. It would have
been good to go mus I feel like when I
lost my virginity, I recalled music as well. I had
(19:39):
one of those you know those CD players that had
like fifty CDs that could interchange like it had the
rotating CD A carousel, I believe is what it's called. Yeah,
I definitely put that on random, like, oh, I've got
fifty CDs in here we got all Night or something.
(20:00):
Just Dare to be Stupid came on and then that's
when I busted. Oh you have similar stories. It's the
laugh come the laugh. Yes, big yeah, big joke. And
that's why we're still in comedy to this day. It's
it's in our blood. I was hooked. So what I
(20:24):
guess when you're talking about sex and where you're striving
towards perfection, what is perfection as far as a male
having sex. I think it has to be you both orgasm,
which by the way, does take uh decades of practice.
That is true. This is true. You can crack that nut,
(20:46):
and when you do it, is it is good? Yeah? Yeah,
maybe I don't know. Sometimes I'm like I don't even
have to come, you know what I mean. I'm like, tonight,
it's not my night, Okay? Is that he's a game? No? No,
I wish it wasn't. I mean, did you even know
perfection when you're in it? Or is it something that
(21:10):
you look back at the end of your life and
you're like the one that sticks out You're like, that
was that was it? Yeah? I think like while you're
in it, you're you're thinking, like Wow, we're both doing
a great job here. But then cut to ten years
later and you're like, you think back on it and
the one that you have in your spank bank that
rises to the top, You're like, that was perfection. I
(21:31):
had no idea I was even in perfection. I'll never
forget that guy. Yeah, that was my Michael Jordan's flu game.
That was eight one. Yeah, you just see this guy
funk on the flu. So you so in that version,
you were really you were really really sick. And I
thought through it and I still gave a hell of
(21:52):
a show. That that's the one he remembers ten years later.
I guess you're having like fever dreams. Yeah, I just
think it's cool when for me, sexual perfection is when
you defy all the odds, you never give up, and
you still get there. You know what I mean. It's
like the odds not get to you. Yeah. Well, also
(22:12):
also sometimes you gotta gotta give up. You gotta give up.
Sometimes you gotta know when to when to just let
everybody go to bed, leave them a lot. We've been
at this for this ain't happen. Is that we're not working.
I'm gonna sleep out there. Yeah, we'll try to get
in the morning. Okay, I'm gonna go in the room
(22:33):
and uh and practice real quick, and I promise I'll
come back for a better we're talking to the next game.
We're talking practice, practice makes perfect. So what I mean
is it just the practice makes better? Is your is
your son's elementary school teacher? Right? Because what we're talking
about is like, what are we talking about reaching perfection
(22:57):
or getting better at something? Like? What's what's even being?
What's or is it just like, well, I don't think
that as far as having sex goes, if that's if
that's what we're talking about, which I think it is. Uh,
there's no such thing as perfection, like I think there is.
There is perfection, There is perfection, but every person has
(23:20):
their own bar. So here it is practice is pointless? Yeah,
I always being genuine. What are you talking about? Pract
does is pointless? Get a real sex doll
What's the show called The Pleasure is Ours? I think
I know how we're kicking it off. Do you already
know the pleasure? The Pleasure is Ours? Oh so we
(00:25):
are here, we are The Pleasure is Ours? Brought to
you by Trojan, America's number one condom brand, Trusted for
one hundred years. That's a long time. That is a
long time to put your trust into something. I wonder
like when they first like brought condoms out, when that
like a hundred years ago, were they like whoa, like
(00:48):
this is that that's just like blew the lid off
of it? Or people like I gotta say, I bet
everyone loved it. People were I bet as soon as
like because you're in those these like little you know, towns,
villages and and all the everyone is itchy. I don't know,
I'm not good with history, but a hundred years ago,
everyone's in caves, like you're, people bathe and boiling water
(01:13):
and usually die. Yeah, you're you're in your clay hut.
You're in your hut, or you're like you know, you're
in a maybe you're in a castle and you are
it's medieval times and you are in your armor and stuff.
And then they finally get your chastity belt off, and
you're like squa, oh my god. Guess what When I
(01:34):
go to battle, I wear my armor a battle in
the bedroom, I strap on a condom and they goes, well,
we call them Trojan trojan, which is which is like,
you know, Trojan horse. It had to come from the
Trojan horse. Bro It had to. It just happened to
(01:55):
it had to. Okay, So what is the day's saying?
What are we queuing up here today? It's on one.
It is a good it is a goodie. We're not
talking about game time. We're talking about practice. We're talking
about practice. We're talking about practice. You've heard the saying
you know what it is, practice makes perfect, and you
(02:19):
were talking about practice. We're talking about practice. Practice makes perfect,
which I can tell you straight up and down is bullshit.
Really okay, I grew up to that, but go ahead
tell me. Yeah. I think of one thing, because I
haven't practiced more and anything than like skateboarding, and I
have practiced so much. That is not even close to
(02:44):
true that you haven't you've never practiced anything more than skateboard.
Put more hours into directing and editing skateboard and playing guitar. Yeah,
jerking off, you jerked off all the time. But I
am perfect. I am perfect at the jail. Yeah, that's
that's one where it works. Practice does make perfect. When okay,
(03:08):
you got you walked me all the way around at
a circle and here I am. I'll spend you right around. Hey,
did you guys want to talk a little bit about
cup stacking, about how much we practiced that. Yeah, when
I first not really first met you, but when I
was befriending you guys early on cup cup stacking, and
(03:29):
the pleasure was ours. Yeah, can you explain for the
audience because probably nobody knows what cup stacking is. What
the hell it's still it's still around. It's not people.
People stay stacking. I saw a video the other day.
Cup stacking is where you have let's see, eleven cups
or twelve cups. Possibly there's no way to tell a
(03:52):
ton of cups there in two stacks, and you have
to go. You have to do two pyramids of three
to one and then one pyramid of like five for
it's the dorkiest ship in the world that is totally
totally pointless, like it's in the world real world there's no.
It doesn't like translate at least everything else that you do.
That's pretty dumb. It translates to something else, like it's
(04:14):
you're at least it's at least at like or you're
like like I hacky sacked a ton hours and hours
I practice hackey packing and I did get great, but
like it was a little workout. I would get a
little sweat going and Adam, great isn't perfect perfect, but
it's better. I feel like he's trying to, Yeah, let's
get back the cup stacking sack to that, so I'm
(04:36):
not just like a cup stacker. Don't be ashamed of
your cup stacking words. Hey, why are we putting on me?
You guys are the ones that bought the cup stacking ship.
I wasn't the one with yea. We must have spent
days on this ship trying to do these fucking formulas
of stacking these cups. Weeks weeks, months, and also none
of us even got remotely good, Like you see the
(04:59):
the kids on the internet that I could do it
in like literally under a second. Yeah, I think it's
under under three or four seconds is what they were doing. Okay, Yeah,
and we we got not even called you guys we
got under ten. I think you guys got under ten.
You guys got intense about it. It was that's what. Yeah.
We used to get in on that ship like late
night too, because we just stack ups like we've never stage.
(05:23):
And that's when I knew I'm a ride with these
guys is a group of I also think that was
a similar time in our life when we were practicing
a lot of like Guitar Hero, and I feel like
if we put in as much time as we did
on Guitar Hero and rock Band, we might have actually
been able to play the real decent band. On rock Band.
(05:45):
I remember thinking, like, we've just spent forty eight hours
playing fucking all these songs. We could remember how much
I played we bowling. I played hours and hours and
eights even did you ever get a perfect game? I
did at Beanery one time and they were having like
(06:07):
a wee bowling tournament at Barney's Beanery, which is like
a bar in l A. And I was like, Okay,
I'll do this. I play we bowling, bowled to three hundred.
I'm elated. It's like, oh my god, I have a
three D. That's a perfect game you can't do better,
and they go congratulations, they give me one pint of beer.
It was like, hey, that's that's cool. That means nothing
(06:28):
to anyone, and then give me one pint of beer.
And I was like, oh but wait, but we just
skipped over it. You got a perfect game. It's bowling.
Bowling is the one time when you practice can make
perfect bowling, is it? Yeah? That's it? Darts, darts? How
do you get perfect darts? Bull's eyes all the time?
Is that it? Yes? Okay, so has anyone ever done that?
(06:51):
Is anyone ever know? But like you could know, there's
no you. You don't win a game just by throwing
bull's eyes and darts. That's what I'm saying. Bowling is
the one the bowling is it? That's it. You can
get a perfect ten in like diving or gymnastics, you
can pitch a perfect exactly. Gymnastics the most brutally physical
(07:15):
sport known to balance. Beam's Yeah, but that's also judges discretion.
Do you think you are? I am. There's many variables
that pins don't lie, Thank you, thank you. No, he's
not wrong. I will tell you that it might be
the perfect example of where practice makes perafect. It's bowling dog.
(07:36):
That's it. That's it. As a dad, they've got they've
they've changed things for this new generation. And my kid
came home saying practice makes better. And I was like,
everybody gets Sportsman Participation Award. Okay, I'm not gonna lie, dude.
(08:00):
I like that, but it doesn't sound good. And these
things have to sound good just because of the alliteration
pp yeah, yeah, no, I hear that. I do hear that,
And I think you should live your life by alliteration.
Someone had a different one that it was it was better.
It was the same sentiment as better, but it was
like practice makes I'll come, I'll circle back. Potential winners. Yes,
(08:23):
practice okay, we'll put that on the board. That has potential,
that has potential as a winner. But obviously it's not.
It doesn't mean you're gonna get perfect. It means, like you,
your practice is striving for perfection. You're marching towards it.
So I guess when you're practicing at a young age,
we we practice a lot, right. If we're saying practices
(08:45):
is jerking off? Is that what it means is that
what we're saying, we're saying practice means jerking off, because
practice you could practice anything. I think if you're saying
practice means jerking off, then you're just like, I gotta
go practice. Well okay, well that brings up a point. Okay,
So it's because like I guess, like, when you're having
sex with someone, is that a scrimmage? Is that a practice?
(09:07):
If it's not your wife? Like are you practicing? Like
what are we practicing to get to? I see what
you're saying, Blake. The jail is the practice, and the
game is the sex. I think that's the scrimmage. And
then when you're finally having sex with your wife, that
is the game. Like once you get married on your
wedding night, that's game that you've been training your whole
(09:29):
life to have sex with your eternal partner as well
as you can. You just pleasure them. I mean, the
more you the more you practice on one other person,
the best's gonna get. I feel like there there are
we're very close. We're very close. There are partners that
you have at some point in your life where you
(09:51):
know neither you know that you're not gonna this isn't
going much for your booty call, right You know it's
not gonna go much farther than that. And you both know, Hey,
I'm practicing on you, you're practicing on me. We're both
getting better at this, at this thing called it's always
that cool relationship where like you guys are just like, yo,
(10:13):
let's just check some stuff off the list, Like, let's
do some things together that maybe we haven't done before.
Maybe is it legal some places? Not here? Not here?
Not in this state? What state are we A? Yeah? No,
But I think like when you get those things out
(10:34):
of the way that way, when you're finally with a
person who you really love or you want to impress
your you don't look like some weird rookie fumbling around
with um handcuffs or a gift mask or whatever. What wait,
what are you at, blake? If for one moment you
look like you've never either put a gift mask on
someone or war on yourself, you're immediately laughing. I know
(10:57):
how to strap a ball gag on because I've done
it before. You can strap a ball gag on with
one hand. People know this guy can fuck and maybe
make you disappear. I don't know, I don't know. This
isn't exactly where I thought this was going to go practice.
If you practice, I guarantee you could get a ball
(11:18):
gag on your on your face with one hand. Yeah,
I bet, And that's perfect practice that well. I mean, dude,
oh that made me think of that. Remember that really
cool like YouTube video of that girl who was like
really awesome at that sucking dick. She was like what
the girl was like YouTube video about it? Yeah, and
(11:40):
then they spoofed it in Girls Trip kind of that
just ye's going to work on what she she was
sucking on something. I think it was Tiffany Hattish in
that movie. Yeah, yeah, they just did that, remember what
it was. But that's the other thing. There's techniques that
require some practice. Yeah, some time to really you know,
you gotta learn. Definitely in the bedroom you do need practice.
(12:02):
This does make a lot of sense because no one
rolled up to their first time having sex and was like,
I'm perfect at that. I don't know these these kids,
these days, these TikTok generation, no, because the sensation is
unlike anything that you could practice. I don't know. I mean,
I'm just speaking for myself. I was so bad the
(12:23):
pleasure our let's talk about our first times having sex
seven years old. Sure, it started off bro was I
(12:45):
was seventeen, I want to say, and and uh and
so she and we were it was immediately following a
Blink one eight two concert and were moving at a hotel.
So yeah, So then I put on just totally not
even in thinking, I put on all the small things, sure,
because we just like went to the concert. And then
(13:07):
as I'm having sex for the very first time, I
realized that it's all the small things. And you're a
young dude, so you're you don't even know like is
my big is it's is it's small. I I don't
really know where I'm landing. And then so I'm I
go more like all the media things right like as
I'm inserting and she's she goes, what you said that
joke right and you were losing your virginia. And then
(13:29):
she's like what and I'm like because the song and
she goes okay, and then and then I already kept
come and then I had already come. You came to
your own joke. It was. It was in the midst
of fall flat more like all the medium Adams stand
(13:49):
up used to climax every time at open mic, everybody
and That's why I had to keep doing stand up
because practice makes it perfect. Boom. Now I findly don't
jiz during the set, Thank goodness, dude. It was getting
really disturbing ruined a lot of Lucky brand jeans early
on in my career. Well that's the thing though, But
(14:09):
were you like trying to prep yourself before you actually
lost your virginity? Like, were you jerking off with a
purpose and intention that like you wanted to last long
or like, did you guys ever do it to where
you would kind of bring yourself to the edge and
then like that down again as a as a teenager
and shirt That wasn't before losing my virginity. That was
(14:32):
after I found out I needed some of this trojan
delay spray. All right. Yeah, but yeah, you've been trying, uh,
you know whatever stop yourself, which is like, what the
funk is that? What is that? Like? I built it
up a lot in my head and I'm like, I
want my first time out the gate, I want to
be like pretty good, but it just never nothing like
(14:54):
the real thing. Yeah, I feel like it's you're gonna
fumble the ball no matter what first time, or or
you're too nervous that you can't come. And then and
then that the girls like are you do you hate me?
An animal? I love you? Right? No, I mean that
doesn't happen, right, everyone just comes too soon. Yeah, that's
(15:15):
not that's not even in my thought process at that time.
But the cool thing about like, all right, so let's
say you meet this girl and then you're dating. You
get in that zone where it's like, oh, we're doing
this all the time. We can practice together as opposed
to like new partner, new new thing that they're into,
a new way they feel. So that's the good way
(15:37):
to practice is to just be like we're in this together.
That's what I'm saying. The more you practice with one person,
the better it does get That is right, practice makes better. Yeah,
and that that was my move. Especially Also, I remember thinking,
like the first time I had sex and then she
allowed me to have sex with her again, Like how
(15:59):
mind blowing that was that It was like, oh, now
I'm just going to be a person that has sex
now right like now it will continue to happen. I'm
just picturing you walking through the halls of school like
I'm fucking now, what's up, dude? Me I'm just fucking
from time to time, do do do? What was I
(16:20):
doing this weekend? I'm sucking now, guys, Hey, next weekend,
I'm gonna be fucking. I think you make me come
the official sound. Meanwhile, she's she's walking down the halls
like this, don't tell anyone I had sex. Please don't
tell me. Please tell it's over. It's over if you
(16:40):
say anything. Yeah. No, I definitely walked down in my
friend's basement after it had happened, like the next day
or whatever, and we got back home, went to my
friend's house. Every everyone's hanging out in his basement shooting
pool or whatever. And I go downstairs and everyone looked
at me and they could tell. They were like, what's up, dude?
(17:02):
You had a glow? I think I was glowing, like
floated down the stairs. How did you? Guys know? Hey,
can I tell you something? You think you we had
this air about yourself. They all had cups up to
the door and we're listening to the entire because that's
high school, and you're like, what do you sit there? Yeah?
They're like, bro, that was so funny. You said all
the medium things. Google, un we're playing pool down here.
(17:26):
What were you doing? Well, they weren't even those guys
weren't even at the concerted so not not true. But
you also said you were at the hotel, right which
I was at a hotel. Yeah, you got a hotel
when you were seventeen, dude, I have an older friend
with a credit card hotel. So she was like encouraging this. Yeah,
(17:48):
that's pretty cool of her. Yeah, man's the no big deal.
We also got in trouble because we tried to grill
using a charcoal grill in the parking lot and they're
like at the hotel and they're like what then you
can't do this right here? And you tailgated tailgate My
(18:13):
We're just in the parking lot, drink of beers and
then yeah, I'm just gonna go. Man, well, hey, guys,
I told my story outcome. There's no that no one
is throwing up their story. I'm the only one with
the cool story here, I don't think so. Yeah, pretty much.
I mean I gave enough of an insight into mine
(18:33):
that I was not more than thirty seconds. It was
not even with the condom on. It was like, oh
and I'm done. I will say it was a trojan Yeah, there.
I'll say that mine was too, and I remember mine
was like a thin I don't know whatever it was,
like whatever thin version they had in the like the
(18:55):
bear skin or whatever. Yeah, whatever it was. And uh,
they've been around for a hundred years since the beginning
of civilization. I remember thinking, I'm going to have to
recalibrate what kind of condoms I have because I thought
I bought like a ton of condoms before. I was like, okay,
I need to have the right condom. And then I
brought like a variety pack. It was like bear skin,
(19:17):
yet still feel them so I know what it feels like.
And then immediately was like, I need a tarp. I
need a thick tarp that I could strap around my
dick so I don't feel anything so I can continue.
But now they got this delays brace. It would have
been good to go mus I feel like when I
lost my virginity, I recalled music as well. I had
(19:39):
one of those you know those CD players that had
like fifty CDs that could interchange like it had the
rotating CD A carousel, I believe is what it's called. Yeah,
I definitely put that on random, like, oh, I've got
fifty CDs in here we got all Night or something.
(20:00):
Just Dare to be Stupid came on and then that's
when I busted. Oh you have similar stories. It's the
laugh come the laugh. Yes, big yeah, big joke. And
that's why we're still in comedy to this day. It's
it's in our blood. I was hooked. So what I
(20:24):
guess when you're talking about sex and where you're striving
towards perfection, what is perfection as far as a male
having sex. I think it has to be you both orgasm,
which by the way, does take uh decades of practice.
That is true. This is true. You can crack that nut,
(20:46):
and when you do it, is it is good? Yeah? Yeah,
maybe I don't know. Sometimes I'm like I don't even
have to come, you know what I mean. I'm like, tonight,
it's not my night, Okay? Is that he's a game? No? No,
I wish it wasn't. I mean, did you even know
perfection when you're in it? Or is it something that
(21:10):
you look back at the end of your life and
you're like the one that sticks out You're like, that
was that was it? Yeah? I think like while you're
in it, you're you're thinking, like Wow, we're both doing
a great job here. But then cut to ten years
later and you're like, you think back on it and
the one that you have in your spank bank that
rises to the top, You're like, that was perfection. I
(21:31):
had no idea I was even in perfection. I'll never
forget that guy. Yeah, that was my Michael Jordan's flu game.
That was eight one. Yeah, you just see this guy
funk on the flu. So you so in that version,
you were really you were really really sick. And I
thought through it and I still gave a hell of
(21:52):
a show. That that's the one he remembers ten years later.
I guess you're having like fever dreams. Yeah, I just
think it's cool when for me, sexual perfection is when
you defy all the odds, you never give up, and
you still get there. You know what I mean. It's
like the odds not get to you. Yeah. Well, also
(22:12):
also sometimes you gotta gotta give up. You gotta give up.
Sometimes you gotta know when to when to just let
everybody go to bed, leave them a lot. We've been
at this for this ain't happen. Is that we're not working.
I'm gonna sleep out there. Yeah, we'll try to get
in the morning. Okay, I'm gonna go in the room
(22:33):
and uh and practice real quick, and I promise I'll
come back for a better we're talking to the next game.
We're talking practice, practice makes perfect. So what I mean
is it just the practice makes better? Is your is
your son's elementary school teacher? Right? Because what we're talking
about is like, what are we talking about reaching perfection
(22:57):
or getting better at something? Like? What's what's even being?
What's or is it just like, well, I don't think
that as far as having sex goes, if that's if
that's what we're talking about, which I think it is. Uh,
there's no such thing as perfection, like I think there is.
There is perfection, There is perfection, but every person has
(23:20):
their own bar. So here it is practice is pointless? Yeah,
I always being genuine. What are you talking about? Pract
does is pointless? Get a real sex doll
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