October 21, 2021 • 19 mins
Is "Don't Quit Your Day Job" decent advice...or just a not-so-subtle way to tell someone you think they suck? Well, who better to debate the matter at hand than our Season 2 hosts, the dudes from Workaholics?! Join Adam "Boner Breaker" Devine, Anders "Nipple Play" Holm, Blake "Handjob Assassin" Anderson, and Kyle "Sneakin' In The Shadows" Newacheck as they find the subtle nuances to the phrase through a discussion of whether a "sexy" spinoff of Workaholics could succeed -- or if they should just stick to their day jobs of hosting podcasts.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
What's the show called The Pleasure Is Ours? I think
I know how we're taking it off. Do you already
know the pleasure? The Pleasure is Ours? We got a
(00:22):
new podcast, This is uh, this is our second We
love casting, look at us. The community demanded more and
we're giving it to him. We partnered with Trojan and
we've we're hosting season two of The Pleasure Is Ours.
And I know I'm excited. And the Pleasure is Ours?
Oh yeah, we're gonna roll this one down all the
way to the serial number. Huh. I know, I'm excited
with Blake All being nude in this little zoom frame.
(00:45):
I see. Yeah, you guys have your shirts off. Yes,
I think one rule about doing the Pleasure is Ours
is I'm gonna do it topless. Take the bottoms off.
I want to see some nets. Take the bottoms off.
Let's make it interesting. Come on first, feel free to
release the twin. And we were talking about your bush.
It is pretty serious right now. You were saying, yes, yes,
I haven't. I haven't trimmed in a while. It's been
a it's been a minute. Oh, I actually for the
(01:08):
Righteous Gemstones. Just last week I had to shave bear shave.
I shaved my pubes. I think that was the first
time I've ever done that in my life. Besides like
an accidental you left it like a razor. No, no, no, no, no,
I'm completely I even I even shave my butt hole
hair just because I was like, I was like, they
(01:31):
might They're shooting like from behind, and I think they
might see some like nutsack or something. I don't know, man,
I guess, I guess that's Weirdly what happened was in
game over, man, I was like butt naked, and now
they're like, all right, he'll show his butth hole and
it and absolutely everything. So you do it once, you'll
do it again. Yeah, you give you give a mouse
a cookie, you know what I mean, the nookie baby,
(01:54):
the pleasures it all. So the topic of this episode
is don't quit your day job? Hey what? And what
a better topic to kick it off with the workaholics?
Come on, come on now? And we did. We after
seven seasons, we did quit our day job. We did.
(02:16):
And look at your day job. Now they're having to
shave your butt hole, so don't and don't quit your
day job is basically saying like, don't pursue your dreams, right,
your dreams. Yeah, it's a bullshit. It's like, what you're
shitty to you? I remember, I remember. I mean, my
uncle's aren't like that shitty. But I remember when I
first moved to Hollywood and I was like, I'm going
to be an actor. I'm going to be a comedian,
and uh, you know, it's such an insane thing to
(02:40):
say to anyone outside of like l A were like
they know people in the entertainment industry. It's just seems insane.
So everyone in my life said this to me and
they're like, Okay, I don't quit your day job, and
I'm like, I don't have Well, that's it's It's also
the nicest way to tell someone you think they suck
at something, right. It's a It's definitely a burn. I
don't know if it is a true piece of advice.
(03:01):
I think it's always been a burn where it's like
you hear somebody singing and then you're like, hey, don't
quit your day job. I lam, since this is the
pleasure is ours. I kind of looped it back to
like I don't know if you've ever met someone who's
like super down on maybe thinking about joining in porno
and being a porno act. I don't have you, guys,
(03:22):
met anyone who's thinking about being super down into pornoc Like,
have you ever had a friend who was like truly
considering joining the sexual revolution and becoming a porn star.
I had a friend that you guys know who will
go well, I can say his name is Bernie Lomax
because it's not his real name. I know him. I
know that man. But so he, for a for a
(03:43):
true moment, was going to start producing porno. Well, so
what did you have to talk to your boy down
from the edge or well, here's what's crazy? Is he like?
He remember him like telling his mom in front of
all of us, and she was like she was smart.
She was like okay, you know she didn't say don't
quit your jay job. She said go for it. And
he was like nah, like it kind of it made
(04:04):
him go, I'm this isn't fun anymore. Mom's actually supporting me.
She's supposed to be yelling him. Here's my head shot.
So if we were true to the say or don't
quit your day job, would you have like asked to
maybe see like some kind of audition tape and then
been like yo, bro, you just don't have the goods
to do it. Like maybe maybe don't quit your day job.
(04:25):
I don't think he wanted to be in the movies.
I think he just wanted to like produce him because
he was like, it's funny, but it's also porno, and
there's a ton of money on that. Well, sure sometime
you can get Yeah, I mean if you can get
a vein, Bro, if you hit a main vein, you're
getting paid all hitting the main vein, dog man man. Yeah,
(04:49):
there's definitely money in porno. What Yeah, there is money.
I bet somebody's making money. I just don't know if
our boy, Bernie Lomax is going to make a fortune
off this endeavor. To me, I'm like, don't quit your
day job. That's what I would say to him. He
didn't have and that would be a burn, and that
would be a burn like to me and when I
(05:11):
was because all these like topics kind of have to
relate back to like sex or dating or something like that, right, WI,
you know this is sponsible, right, but don't quit your
Imagine you have sex with someone and then they look
in your eyes after you're like during having sex or
maybe right after you climax and then they lock into
(05:34):
you and say, don't quit your day just what are you?
Are you saying no, just like he's just sex with
somebody and somebody burned you, like right after you made
your weird No, it's not, it's not if like you're
really how does that for you? How does that feel too?
(05:57):
It's that guy, that guy. I'm if you're asking for
positive reinforcement and then that's what she she offers you.
You can't just happen. Oh right, you have because the
whole thing is like you want to pursue your dream
job usually right, it's like you're not. You don't want
to be a singer. You want to be a singer
who's paid. Right, So that's why it don't quit your
(06:19):
day jobs. So if you're on a porno set, it's
your first day and then you're like, how'd I do?
And she goes, don't quit your day job out burn? Well,
I don't know, like, do any of you guys feel
like you have of some kind of all star move
that would make you a viable commodity for the porn industry,
Like a very very revealing question. Uh yeah, I've got
(06:43):
plenty of sort of trademark moves. I feel like I
would have to be in some kind of a very
weird niche market like Ron Jerry, like some people that
are into like hairsuits or something. Yeah, like funny, like
you know, like shouldn't be in porno kind of a guy.
I like that. I like that. I'm a real I'm
(07:03):
a real good soaker. I mean, I don't know if
it's my steed, but I just I've got a good feeling.
I gave a gray hand job. Dude, I feel like
I would sell ware. So you're talking about I thought
you were asking us what our moves were. Yeah, move, dude,
it's my move on myself and I have a hand job.
(07:25):
Yeah you're certain, are you? Guys saying because to me
or you can check off? Well, those are two things
I don't know, not if you come around from behind
the guy. Yeah. Man, I'm just saying. If I had
to go in the porn industry and I had to
bet on myself and be the best job, I think
(07:46):
I'd be like a killer, like hand job assassin. I've
seen you play video games. I've seen you with the
pepper grinder. Holy say and just say when? And that's
my whole thing, My whole catchphrases say when and there's
t shirts and my mom that's the one that she
(08:07):
wears to the gym's. It's too good, the peppercracker. Should
we like produce a spinoff Workhalics TV show? But it
is a porno absolutely? And are the characters keep finding
(08:27):
themselves on a hardcore pornographic situations? Should not quit our
day job, don't? I'm in man. I just would like
my character to be replaced with a female that has
a mustache, so you could get into really like cool s. Yeah,
female that has like a real mustache. She could it
(08:49):
could be like just glued on or whatever. But I
just think it would add a really funny dynamic to
our already hilarious relationship. I don't just a gree the
pleasure our I feel like I threw my info out
(09:19):
at that being you know, the best I'm at is
is giving hand jobs? Do you guys want to go
on record for what you think you're the best at?
What are we talking about? Like the best at? Like
what I don't because I've never given a hand job
or a blow job or anything. But are we talking
about just gay stuff? Like what we think we would
be this is what this is like in a world
where you have to have a porno move said his
(09:42):
was hand jobs. Um mine is dropping in from the
top rope. Thank you. Yeah, I feel like I'll swing
in swing breaker. Yeah, you broke my boner? No, I never,
I mean, yeah, well yes I have. I've had to
stop and then like that really hurt. But no, I
(10:02):
never had to go to the hospital and get it.
You've bent it out of shape or whatever, been like
we gotta pause. Yeah for absolutely, Wait what do you
mean you bent it like he folded it in half
a rock trying to get it on. Yeah. Yeah, but
it's like it was like dislocated or what's have you
ever had it where like your finger, like the knuckle
kind of pops out and then you just got to
like kind of pop the knuckle back in. Yeah, dick located.
(10:25):
That's what I was imagining. Okay, I like that, And
there's what's yours? What would you have if you had
to have a secret move? Man? Um you know it'd
be nipple play. The pleasure is you know, you know
those those you'll watch something and you're like, this is
(10:47):
like a lot of time on the nipples here, move on,
who is doing this? There's no way it feels that good.
You gotta tap in bro nips, rock nips, rock the rock.
They've fine. Well, some people have super the way Kyle
(11:08):
is looking at me, he has super super duper sensitive nipples,
which is weird. I've grabbed them for like twenty years.
I'm always like grabbing. You're not trying to make me
feel good when you do that. But now on, accidently
I'm making the pleasure Jans. If you put a little
bit more effort in it, something might happen. His last words,
(11:33):
and then he died dirt. Since you're claiming um nipple
play as your special move, is that like do you
like turn people out? Like? Is it like I will
make I will make you love and nothing? I'm fully closed.
I'm dressed like a scientist. Yes, you're doing research, right,
I'm doing research on the area. Does the nipple play
(11:57):
include like toys? Do you use props as their feathers?
I think it's got to like right, I mean you know,
and I'm sure it was like the years go on,
there's like piercings, magnets, how do they work? Kind of thing? Yeah,
what are the magnets about hold on, what's the magnet's about? Mr?
Dr Nipple like, because if they have like the piercing
you hold like the magnet above it and you can
(12:19):
make the boob kind of follow it. You don't connect them,
don't care, just have it kind of like I was
doing all kinds of weird experiments over there. All right,
So we got we got for the pleasure. We got
the circus performer over here that's dropping from the top row.
We got Blake who is just giving hand jobs, evidently
(12:42):
just crushing hand jobs. He's cracking pepper. Yeah, he's cracking pepper.
He's dressed like a waiter, he's got a fucking like
fancy smock on. And Carl is just like very like
you said, it was like very kinky. What did like?
It's probably like mostly shadows. I don't know what it is.
(13:04):
I don't really want it's mostly shadows. It's I play
in what you don't see. I'm the kind of like
I'll give you a butt cheek in the light and
then go back in house film. She says, is it
in yet or or it's what are those what's those
pornos where you just see the face you know what
I mean, you don't see as I feel like I
(13:25):
would crush that beautiful you're You're like a fill in
the blank guy. Let your imagination. I do enjoy. You're
like a cool nineties Cinemax movie. His poor no name
is Phil in the blanks. And I think, uh, I
think if anyone saw us as a professional porn stars
with these cool new nicknames, they might say, don't quit
(13:47):
your day job. Don't quit your day job. Yeah, don't
quit your day job. I mean, have you guys ever
had anyone like say that to you? Because I've had
someone legit say that to me before. I'm sorry, and
(14:08):
I'm sorry. I take it back. You blew me away.
Look at your great success. I remember when I was
nineteen years old and I you guys remember we were
friends at this point. Uh Minuster's because we hadn't met
him yet. But uh, I was nineteen friend at that
camera store in Orange County and I was selling tripods.
Didn't know anything about tripods. All I knew is they
(14:28):
had three legs. Uh, and uh I got fired. Basically
I got fired because I drank too much water. And
then and then they got because I was like always
leaving my area to like go get more water. And
then the guy was like, hey, I'm firing you, and
I'm like, okay, all right, And then his daughters, his
daughters on water actually, and then the his daughters who
(14:55):
helped him run the business. We're like, don't fire out him.
He's a good kid. He just drinks too much water.
You stay. It's very high draded. And so he calls
me up and he's like, hey, I'm I'm not going
to fire you. I just need you to stay at
your station more and some more tripods. And then I go,
I'm sorry. I think it was a good thing that
you let me go because I have to concentrate on
my comedy. I told him that at like nineteen and
(15:17):
he was like, oh god, don't quit your day job.
And he said that to me, and I remember thinking,
I was just fired from my day job. You fucking idiot.
You just fired me from my day job. I can't
quit it now. Yeah, I remember it being like I
remember being like I I didn't catch it until after
the fact. I'm like, yeah, well I know, I but
(15:38):
I gotta give comedy a shot. And then I hung
up and then I'm like, tell him our our friend
Austin about that, and and then I was like, I said,
don't quit your day job. And then I was like,
but he just fired me, and UH laughed. We're pretty stoned.
But I think we find this fucking guy and we
(15:58):
have we have blake fucking jack them off while I
worked the nipples. And then you fly in from the
top rope, and just when he thinks it's over, Kyle
creeps in from the shadows. Don't quit your day job,
and you go, don't quit your day job, don't quit job,
but hey, hey, don't quit how about how about you
(16:19):
don't quit your day jobs? Said? That's always That's always
fun when someone uh says something to you and then
your retort is the exact same thing that they said.
Don't quit your day job. You don't quit your day job.
My job's fine, you don't quit yours. It's cool when
it works, too, when the person's like, oh you want
me to and you're like, wow, worked, yeah, right right.
(16:42):
Have you guys ever been fired? Yeah? I got fired
from the cost on Rodeo Drive. That was pretty epic.
I just went It was like the holiday season and
I went home for a week instead of the three
days I told him I'd be gone. Sorry about it? Yeah,
fucking where's the wiggle broom? Sorry? Oh that's it. Don't
quit your day job, get fired from it, get fired
from your days, getting fired get like So, yeah, that's
(17:05):
pretty and that is actually good advice. So what do
we what what's a better phrase than don't quit your
day job? Because I mean that is it is a slam.
Don't you porno? Well, when someone starts singing, just go, hey,
don't do porno. What if it's like, don't quit your
day job, but you can film porno at night in
(17:27):
your room on like a like an only fans or
something as a side hust better? Yeah, a little long, Yeah,
that seems right. Don't quit drop has legs. Yeah, quit
your dream job. Okay, how about don't be nice for
(17:48):
the kids who are getting trophies for just participating these days? Well,
I mean it's not a horrible like don't quit your
day job, because some people like should not quit your
day job, Like if they are going after something and
they like if you're you want to be a pro
baseball player and you're giving it, you're all, but like
(18:10):
you can't throw a baseball, and you're like I'm giving
it all to my dream. I'm gonna quit my day
job and learn to throw this baseball. And the guy's
thirty seven. You're like, buddy, you're not You're not going
to be a pro baseball player. Don't quit your day job.
That's good advice. I think that also kind of ties
in with the way I spun. It is like you
can have your day job and then at night throw
(18:31):
the ball against the wall a little bit. You know,
you can have your day job and some sort of
play on that. There we go. You can have your
day job and eat it too. You can have a
day job and have a side hustle to get you
some money to eat, to possibly eat and have a
day job and eat your side hustle like a mash
(18:53):
up to two of two Saints. You're gonna have a
job and eat it too, and eat it. Yeah. Yeah,
did we just change the world? Oh my god? It
was my horribleasure. It was pleasure as ours pleasures. Have
we talked about how to end these episodes, yet I
think we just did it.
What's the show called The Pleasure Is Ours? I think
I know how we're taking it off. Do you already
know the pleasure? The Pleasure is Ours? We got a
(00:22):
new podcast, This is uh, this is our second We
love casting, look at us. The community demanded more and
we're giving it to him. We partnered with Trojan and
we've we're hosting season two of The Pleasure Is Ours.
And I know I'm excited. And the Pleasure is Ours?
Oh yeah, we're gonna roll this one down all the
way to the serial number. Huh. I know, I'm excited
with Blake All being nude in this little zoom frame.
(00:45):
I see. Yeah, you guys have your shirts off. Yes,
I think one rule about doing the Pleasure is Ours
is I'm gonna do it topless. Take the bottoms off.
I want to see some nets. Take the bottoms off.
Let's make it interesting. Come on first, feel free to
release the twin. And we were talking about your bush.
It is pretty serious right now. You were saying, yes, yes,
I haven't. I haven't trimmed in a while. It's been
a it's been a minute. Oh, I actually for the
(01:08):
Righteous Gemstones. Just last week I had to shave bear shave.
I shaved my pubes. I think that was the first
time I've ever done that in my life. Besides like
an accidental you left it like a razor. No, no, no, no, no,
I'm completely I even I even shave my butt hole
hair just because I was like, I was like, they
(01:31):
might They're shooting like from behind, and I think they
might see some like nutsack or something. I don't know, man,
I guess, I guess that's Weirdly what happened was in
game over, man, I was like butt naked, and now
they're like, all right, he'll show his butth hole and
it and absolutely everything. So you do it once, you'll
do it again. Yeah, you give you give a mouse
a cookie, you know what I mean, the nookie baby,
(01:54):
the pleasures it all. So the topic of this episode
is don't quit your day job? Hey what? And what
a better topic to kick it off with the workaholics?
Come on, come on now? And we did. We after
seven seasons, we did quit our day job. We did.
(02:16):
And look at your day job. Now they're having to
shave your butt hole, so don't and don't quit your
day job is basically saying like, don't pursue your dreams, right,
your dreams. Yeah, it's a bullshit. It's like, what you're
shitty to you? I remember, I remember. I mean, my
uncle's aren't like that shitty. But I remember when I
first moved to Hollywood and I was like, I'm going
to be an actor. I'm going to be a comedian,
and uh, you know, it's such an insane thing to
(02:40):
say to anyone outside of like l A were like
they know people in the entertainment industry. It's just seems insane.
So everyone in my life said this to me and
they're like, Okay, I don't quit your day job, and
I'm like, I don't have Well, that's it's It's also
the nicest way to tell someone you think they suck
at something, right. It's a It's definitely a burn. I
don't know if it is a true piece of advice.
(03:01):
I think it's always been a burn where it's like
you hear somebody singing and then you're like, hey, don't
quit your day job. I lam, since this is the
pleasure is ours. I kind of looped it back to
like I don't know if you've ever met someone who's
like super down on maybe thinking about joining in porno
and being a porno act. I don't have you, guys,
(03:22):
met anyone who's thinking about being super down into pornoc Like,
have you ever had a friend who was like truly
considering joining the sexual revolution and becoming a porn star.
I had a friend that you guys know who will
go well, I can say his name is Bernie Lomax
because it's not his real name. I know him. I
know that man. But so he, for a for a
(03:43):
true moment, was going to start producing porno. Well, so
what did you have to talk to your boy down
from the edge or well, here's what's crazy? Is he like?
He remember him like telling his mom in front of
all of us, and she was like she was smart.
She was like okay, you know she didn't say don't
quit your jay job. She said go for it. And
he was like nah, like it kind of it made
(04:04):
him go, I'm this isn't fun anymore. Mom's actually supporting me.
She's supposed to be yelling him. Here's my head shot.
So if we were true to the say or don't
quit your day job, would you have like asked to
maybe see like some kind of audition tape and then
been like yo, bro, you just don't have the goods
to do it. Like maybe maybe don't quit your day job.
(04:25):
I don't think he wanted to be in the movies.
I think he just wanted to like produce him because
he was like, it's funny, but it's also porno, and
there's a ton of money on that. Well, sure sometime
you can get Yeah, I mean if you can get
a vein, Bro, if you hit a main vein, you're
getting paid all hitting the main vein, dog man man. Yeah,
(04:49):
there's definitely money in porno. What Yeah, there is money.
I bet somebody's making money. I just don't know if
our boy, Bernie Lomax is going to make a fortune
off this endeavor. To me, I'm like, don't quit your
day job. That's what I would say to him. He
didn't have and that would be a burn, and that
would be a burn like to me and when I
(05:11):
was because all these like topics kind of have to
relate back to like sex or dating or something like that, right, WI,
you know this is sponsible, right, but don't quit your
Imagine you have sex with someone and then they look
in your eyes after you're like during having sex or
maybe right after you climax and then they lock into
(05:34):
you and say, don't quit your day just what are you?
Are you saying no, just like he's just sex with
somebody and somebody burned you, like right after you made
your weird No, it's not, it's not if like you're
really how does that for you? How does that feel too?
(05:57):
It's that guy, that guy. I'm if you're asking for
positive reinforcement and then that's what she she offers you.
You can't just happen. Oh right, you have because the
whole thing is like you want to pursue your dream
job usually right, it's like you're not. You don't want
to be a singer. You want to be a singer
who's paid. Right, So that's why it don't quit your
(06:19):
day jobs. So if you're on a porno set, it's
your first day and then you're like, how'd I do?
And she goes, don't quit your day job out burn? Well,
I don't know, like, do any of you guys feel
like you have of some kind of all star move
that would make you a viable commodity for the porn industry,
Like a very very revealing question. Uh yeah, I've got
(06:43):
plenty of sort of trademark moves. I feel like I
would have to be in some kind of a very
weird niche market like Ron Jerry, like some people that
are into like hairsuits or something. Yeah, like funny, like
you know, like shouldn't be in porno kind of a guy.
I like that. I like that. I'm a real I'm
(07:03):
a real good soaker. I mean, I don't know if
it's my steed, but I just I've got a good feeling.
I gave a gray hand job. Dude, I feel like
I would sell ware. So you're talking about I thought
you were asking us what our moves were. Yeah, move, dude,
it's my move on myself and I have a hand job.
(07:25):
Yeah you're certain, are you? Guys saying because to me
or you can check off? Well, those are two things
I don't know, not if you come around from behind
the guy. Yeah. Man, I'm just saying. If I had
to go in the porn industry and I had to
bet on myself and be the best job, I think
(07:46):
I'd be like a killer, like hand job assassin. I've
seen you play video games. I've seen you with the
pepper grinder. Holy say and just say when? And that's
my whole thing, My whole catchphrases say when and there's
t shirts and my mom that's the one that she
(08:07):
wears to the gym's. It's too good, the peppercracker. Should
we like produce a spinoff Workhalics TV show? But it
is a porno absolutely? And are the characters keep finding
(08:27):
themselves on a hardcore pornographic situations? Should not quit our
day job, don't? I'm in man. I just would like
my character to be replaced with a female that has
a mustache, so you could get into really like cool s. Yeah,
female that has like a real mustache. She could it
(08:49):
could be like just glued on or whatever. But I
just think it would add a really funny dynamic to
our already hilarious relationship. I don't just a gree the
pleasure our I feel like I threw my info out
(09:19):
at that being you know, the best I'm at is
is giving hand jobs? Do you guys want to go
on record for what you think you're the best at?
What are we talking about? Like the best at? Like
what I don't because I've never given a hand job
or a blow job or anything. But are we talking
about just gay stuff? Like what we think we would
be this is what this is like in a world
where you have to have a porno move said his
(09:42):
was hand jobs. Um mine is dropping in from the
top rope. Thank you. Yeah, I feel like I'll swing
in swing breaker. Yeah, you broke my boner? No, I never,
I mean, yeah, well yes I have. I've had to
stop and then like that really hurt. But no, I
(10:02):
never had to go to the hospital and get it.
You've bent it out of shape or whatever, been like
we gotta pause. Yeah for absolutely, Wait what do you
mean you bent it like he folded it in half
a rock trying to get it on. Yeah. Yeah, but
it's like it was like dislocated or what's have you
ever had it where like your finger, like the knuckle
kind of pops out and then you just got to
like kind of pop the knuckle back in. Yeah, dick located.
(10:25):
That's what I was imagining. Okay, I like that, And
there's what's yours? What would you have if you had
to have a secret move? Man? Um you know it'd
be nipple play. The pleasure is you know, you know
those those you'll watch something and you're like, this is
(10:47):
like a lot of time on the nipples here, move on,
who is doing this? There's no way it feels that good.
You gotta tap in bro nips, rock nips, rock the rock.
They've fine. Well, some people have super the way Kyle
(11:08):
is looking at me, he has super super duper sensitive nipples,
which is weird. I've grabbed them for like twenty years.
I'm always like grabbing. You're not trying to make me
feel good when you do that. But now on, accidently
I'm making the pleasure Jans. If you put a little
bit more effort in it, something might happen. His last words,
(11:33):
and then he died dirt. Since you're claiming um nipple
play as your special move, is that like do you
like turn people out? Like? Is it like I will
make I will make you love and nothing? I'm fully closed.
I'm dressed like a scientist. Yes, you're doing research, right,
I'm doing research on the area. Does the nipple play
(11:57):
include like toys? Do you use props as their feathers?
I think it's got to like right, I mean you know,
and I'm sure it was like the years go on,
there's like piercings, magnets, how do they work? Kind of thing? Yeah,
what are the magnets about hold on, what's the magnet's about? Mr?
Dr Nipple like, because if they have like the piercing
you hold like the magnet above it and you can
(12:19):
make the boob kind of follow it. You don't connect them,
don't care, just have it kind of like I was
doing all kinds of weird experiments over there. All right,
So we got we got for the pleasure. We got
the circus performer over here that's dropping from the top row.
We got Blake who is just giving hand jobs, evidently
(12:42):
just crushing hand jobs. He's cracking pepper. Yeah, he's cracking pepper.
He's dressed like a waiter, he's got a fucking like
fancy smock on. And Carl is just like very like
you said, it was like very kinky. What did like?
It's probably like mostly shadows. I don't know what it is.
(13:04):
I don't really want it's mostly shadows. It's I play
in what you don't see. I'm the kind of like
I'll give you a butt cheek in the light and
then go back in house film. She says, is it
in yet or or it's what are those what's those
pornos where you just see the face you know what
I mean, you don't see as I feel like I
(13:25):
would crush that beautiful you're You're like a fill in
the blank guy. Let your imagination. I do enjoy. You're
like a cool nineties Cinemax movie. His poor no name
is Phil in the blanks. And I think, uh, I
think if anyone saw us as a professional porn stars
with these cool new nicknames, they might say, don't quit
(13:47):
your day job. Don't quit your day job. Yeah, don't
quit your day job. I mean, have you guys ever
had anyone like say that to you? Because I've had
someone legit say that to me before. I'm sorry, and
(14:08):
I'm sorry. I take it back. You blew me away.
Look at your great success. I remember when I was
nineteen years old and I you guys remember we were
friends at this point. Uh Minuster's because we hadn't met
him yet. But uh, I was nineteen friend at that
camera store in Orange County and I was selling tripods.
Didn't know anything about tripods. All I knew is they
(14:28):
had three legs. Uh, and uh I got fired. Basically
I got fired because I drank too much water. And
then and then they got because I was like always
leaving my area to like go get more water. And
then the guy was like, hey, I'm firing you, and
I'm like, okay, all right, And then his daughters, his
daughters on water actually, and then the his daughters who
(14:55):
helped him run the business. We're like, don't fire out him.
He's a good kid. He just drinks too much water.
You stay. It's very high draded. And so he calls
me up and he's like, hey, I'm I'm not going
to fire you. I just need you to stay at
your station more and some more tripods. And then I go,
I'm sorry. I think it was a good thing that
you let me go because I have to concentrate on
my comedy. I told him that at like nineteen and
(15:17):
he was like, oh god, don't quit your day job.
And he said that to me, and I remember thinking,
I was just fired from my day job. You fucking idiot.
You just fired me from my day job. I can't
quit it now. Yeah, I remember it being like I
remember being like I I didn't catch it until after
the fact. I'm like, yeah, well I know, I but
(15:38):
I gotta give comedy a shot. And then I hung
up and then I'm like, tell him our our friend
Austin about that, and and then I was like, I said,
don't quit your day job. And then I was like,
but he just fired me, and UH laughed. We're pretty stoned.
But I think we find this fucking guy and we
(15:58):
have we have blake fucking jack them off while I
worked the nipples. And then you fly in from the
top rope, and just when he thinks it's over, Kyle
creeps in from the shadows. Don't quit your day job,
and you go, don't quit your day job, don't quit job,
but hey, hey, don't quit how about how about you
(16:19):
don't quit your day jobs? Said? That's always That's always
fun when someone uh says something to you and then
your retort is the exact same thing that they said.
Don't quit your day job. You don't quit your day job.
My job's fine, you don't quit yours. It's cool when
it works, too, when the person's like, oh you want
me to and you're like, wow, worked, yeah, right right.
(16:42):
Have you guys ever been fired? Yeah? I got fired
from the cost on Rodeo Drive. That was pretty epic.
I just went It was like the holiday season and
I went home for a week instead of the three
days I told him I'd be gone. Sorry about it? Yeah,
fucking where's the wiggle broom? Sorry? Oh that's it. Don't
quit your day job, get fired from it, get fired
from your days, getting fired get like So, yeah, that's
(17:05):
pretty and that is actually good advice. So what do
we what what's a better phrase than don't quit your
day job? Because I mean that is it is a slam.
Don't you porno? Well, when someone starts singing, just go, hey,
don't do porno. What if it's like, don't quit your
day job, but you can film porno at night in
(17:27):
your room on like a like an only fans or
something as a side hust better? Yeah, a little long, Yeah,
that seems right. Don't quit drop has legs. Yeah, quit
your dream job. Okay, how about don't be nice for
(17:48):
the kids who are getting trophies for just participating these days? Well,
I mean it's not a horrible like don't quit your
day job, because some people like should not quit your
day job, Like if they are going after something and
they like if you're you want to be a pro
baseball player and you're giving it, you're all, but like
(18:10):
you can't throw a baseball, and you're like I'm giving
it all to my dream. I'm gonna quit my day
job and learn to throw this baseball. And the guy's
thirty seven. You're like, buddy, you're not You're not going
to be a pro baseball player. Don't quit your day job.
That's good advice. I think that also kind of ties
in with the way I spun. It is like you
can have your day job and then at night throw
(18:31):
the ball against the wall a little bit. You know,
you can have your day job and some sort of
play on that. There we go. You can have your
day job and eat it too. You can have a
day job and have a side hustle to get you
some money to eat, to possibly eat and have a
day job and eat your side hustle like a mash
(18:53):
up to two of two Saints. You're gonna have a
job and eat it too, and eat it. Yeah. Yeah,
did we just change the world? Oh my god? It
was my horribleasure. It was pleasure as ours pleasures. Have
we talked about how to end these episodes, yet I
think we just did it.
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