November 11, 2021 • 23 mins
They say you should never judge a book by its cover—the same way you can't tell the size of a dude's junk just by the amount of big dick energy he gives off. With that said, sometimes the dude with the sketchy face tattoo is just that: straight-up sketch. And as Blake once learned: The Great Gatsby is, indeed, as boring as it looks.
In this week's Ders-less episode of The Pleasure Is Ours (our fourth co-host is big-timing us shooting a movie with Bobby DeNiro), the boys argue over the role that judgment plays in an overly saturated cultural landscape. On the one hand, it's efficient! After all, who has the time to consume everything out there? It's easier to assume that Ders' affection for American Psycho automatically makes him a serial killer. But on the other hand, you may never discover just how wild Velma from Scooby Doo can get once she takes her glasses off...
So quick! Grab your circa-2003 Gateway laptop and type in Boobs.com—it's time for some arthemedick.
Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
What's the show called The Pleasure is Ours? I think
I know how we're kicking it off. Do you already
know the pleasure the Pleasure is Ours? We're guys. Hold on,
(00:25):
I have to get specifically horny for these you do, because,
as you know, this is the Pleasure is I'd like
that he said, this is yeah, and this is a
very very very very very very special episode of The
Pleasure Is Ours? Tell him mine? Do we have a
(00:49):
special guess? What a very special guest? Yeah, no, wonders,
that's a special guest. I'm a special guest is who's
not here? Yeah? The special guest is I have one
of Yeah, we're steering the ship durs list. You know why.
It's because he's a big Yeah. I think he's big
(01:11):
time in US. You guys think he's a big time
in US. He's like a big time movie star. It's
a big time movie he's in movies with with Bobby
de Niro. Well that's what his friends call him, and
that's what Durse calls him now. And suddenly suddenly he's
too good to do the podcast because he has to work. Oh,
he has to be in a major movie motion picture.
(01:31):
It's a big time, hoy would actor, oh too good
for the podcast. We'll guess what durs. The pleasure is our. Yeah,
we'll pick up the slack and in today's episode, uh,
we're gonna be just breaking down the the old time
(01:51):
he's saying, and really configuring it into something brand. We're
gonna infiguring it. Yeah, we're gonna be infiguring Oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
we're reconfiguring it. Beautiful. Come on, man, we don't have
Dir's a smartass here to correct us. This is like
the babysitter's dead baby. Yeahs are done. They say, don't
(02:12):
tell mom, but I'm gonna tell her we killed the babysitter. Sorry, dad,
he's dead. Does So what are what are we dissecting today?
The pleasure ours? It's the saying you can't judge a
book by its cover, old saying oldest dirt, Yes, saying
old dirt. That's an old ass saying. People be saying that,
(02:34):
like what the Fox a book that was like as
soon as they created books, they were like, don't don't
judge that one by its cover. That's an ugly cover.
It's actually a really good book, but I didn't spend
the money on the cover. Um, I just finished the book.
It's kind of coverless, but don't judge it by that.
The first few books they were going just by the
strength of the words, and then some fucking genius was like,
(02:57):
you don't have to have a great product as long
as the cover stick. And admittedly that's how I buy books.
If i'm if I'm at a you know, usually I'm
at a Hudson News at an airport and I'm like, oh,
I need to maybe i'd buy a book, and then
I kind of look at covers. Then I usually don't
buy it and just buy gum. But yeah, you certainly
(03:17):
usually just buying eleven dollar water and some gum and
just sort of stare at the covers of books. But
that's sort of how I judge it. Absolutely is by
the cover. Well yeah, I mean if you even translate
past books because I don't read, I don't read anymore.
But even if you talk about a movie, I'm only
looking at cover. Well, that's the thing, guys, And anything
(03:38):
Dre's is old ass isn't here. Because I feel as
our generation, the young, the youth, millennials, Dre's is I
believe a boomer. I'm not sure big boomer energy. But
we're like millennials, you know, and we were kind of
the generation that was taught to judge everything by its cover.
(03:58):
We had to judge album, we had to judge movies,
we had to judge books. Because we can't just consume
all this ship. We would have been just you know,
in our rooms jerking off watching movies. Well that is
what we did. But yeah, what you know, you jerked
off while watching movies? Hold on, which what you're talking about? Porno?
What you didn't well, I mean no, not really. Usually
I would I I on my mom's gateway computer in
(04:22):
the basement. Sure, I typed in boobs dot com, which
was the first website. I actually went to the very
first field results and in about thirty minutes I was
able to look at boobs. It was a really exciting
day in my life. I don't know, I guess maybe
I I not really movies usually the show Silk Stockings
that was on us all night. Well, I don't know,
(04:46):
if you guys recall we had a really great resource.
Do you guys remember what was it called Mr Skin
where um it was like a website or it was
actually a book at first, wasn't it like Mr Skin's
movie reviews. It was a book, a coffee table book,
and it maybe well basically what it was was like
a encyclopedia. Yeah, and it told you what movies at
what time had nudity in them. So you could so
(05:09):
you could, you know, you could get your Mr Skin.
You can print out the sheet on your home computer,
your mom's home printer, bring it to Blockbuster Video and
you get the VHS. You put it in and you
fast forward to the proper time code and you jump
in sets and then you start ripping your joy bro
(05:30):
and then you're in your room with your own personal VCR.
Mom shouldn't have gave you that because you're gonna you're
gonna rent under siege and you're gonna pose it when
the girl comes out of the cake with the taties
and you're gonna start ripping your joint. Uh yeah, No,
I do think, uh that we did judge a lot
(05:53):
of things by their covers. And then also I feel
like our generation, the coolest generation, best still best, We
judged even ourselves by the by our covers. Like you
identified with the type of music that you liked, you
would dress like that, like I'm so mo like, I
(06:13):
think when people look at me, they're like, oh my god,
he's back again. He's obviously a backstree. He's obviously a
backstreet boy. Yeah, he's a he's in a boy band.
He's a clean cut guy. I think when people look
at me, they're like, get that man a blanket and
a hot meal. Someone just buys you a hot plate. Yeah,
I mean there was a time when judging a book
(06:34):
by its cover. It's kind of like parental advice, Like, yeah,
a person like Kyle, you're gonna want your children to
judge him because he does look like a molester. He's not.
We know him to be like a very friendly, nice guy,
very good guy. But you don't want your kids walking
up to somebody like Hole who looks similar to what
you would. That goes for anybody with like what we
call a pervert stash. Okay, just right, exactly what did
(06:59):
the how did a mustache even get? Like? You know
that place you have a perfect mustache. You do have
a perfect must I think it's more of a porn stash.
But also feel like if you were a child, you
also might be afraid of Blake's look as well. Blake's
look is very overwhelming, lots of hair going on a
(07:21):
pervert stash, and he says things like rip your joint. Well,
but I say it amongst my elder statesman, My older
colleagues are not saying that around children at the playground. Okay,
I'm saying that with my So you're saying that, you're
you're saying that that's an okay thing to say around
your colleagues. Well, okay, Well, touche touche depends on the
(07:45):
business and our business, yes, it is okay. If we're
rolling something sound or video, you can say it. You
can say that absolutely absolutely, Okay. Well, I don't know,
I feel like, yeah, now like these these eight generation,
it's not our, it's not our, Like the six nineties
millennials were kind of going counter like your look like,
(08:06):
you look like one thing, but then you present a
totally different entity. So so okay, So for my look,
I look like a clean cut, all American guy, but
really I'm a scum bag. Yeah you're You're a heroine
at it, dude, Yeah, you're freak. I'm a bad boy
bank robber. You're a bank robber. Dog the Outlaws coming
(08:27):
to Netflix. It's in the process. But like, I think
we discussed this once. We're like back in our days.
You know, you looked at a man or a woman
with a face tattoo, and you said, this person is
a serial killer. But at this point in our junction
of society, that person could be a librarian, babysitter, an
(08:49):
ice cream man, you know, police officer. The face tattoo
basically just says now that you have, at some point
in your life you were committed to art so much
that you threw it on your friends. Yes, I really
loved art. Yes, and and and hopefully you know what
you write on your face is your mission statement, you know,
Like I know post Malone has always tired or whatever,
(09:11):
which to me is like it shows his work ethic. Yeah,
to me, that was a poor choice. I feel like
that one you could go ahead, and yeah, I wouldn't.
I would judge that cover. I also heard nothing but
great things about the guy. I've heard he starts super nice,
really good guy. But I mean sometimes he's not he
(09:33):
can't be tired. I'm tired. I'm tired a lot. Like
if you work a lot, you know you're tired quite
a bit. But you're right, even if they're out of
one out of like a week or two, there's gonna
be one or two days that where you're like, I'm
feeling good at Chipper. Yeah, yeah, you're gonna you Maybe
you did get enough sleep, you know. I think sometimes
it's okay to judge a book by its cover. It is,
I mean, it's helpful sometimes it's help right. You don't
(09:56):
want to because you know, obviously you look at Kyle
and you're like, oh, that guy, for sure, for sure
smells you know, maybe maybe he hasn't a blade on him,
and I don't You might walk to the other side
of the street or something. If he's sitting down and
like on some cardboard. You're like, You're like, you know,
like that might be his house. I don't want to
get too close. Uh, I don't want to like walk
(10:18):
through his living room. He's running now, he's running, but
he might but then actually you could snow crown. He's
just sitting. He's just he's taking a break. He's sitting,
you know, he's he's he's sitting on a curb. He
brought he brought his cardboard, a little seat out and
he's just chilling on the side of the road. He
got done eating some pizza and he said, you know what,
(10:39):
this cement is cold. I'm just gonna sit on this
on this box, right, But that could be helpful, like
the people knowing that people judge me and think that
about me can be helpful for when I'm saying out
at late at night walking and I'm like, okay, I
know that I look a little scary and smell. Nobody's
gonna want to come up and rob me because they'll
probably hit him with a lot of stink. You know
(11:01):
what defense mechanism. That's absolutely too I yeah, maybe I should.
I should grow out like a porn mustache or creepo
mustache or do something grow up my hair, because I'm
super right, you are right, look like a mark for sure.
I walk in the streets. I'm just like with my
stubby little legs, just tuting about town. People are like,
(11:24):
let's just guy. Yeah, he he deserves to have everything
in his lifestyle from it. But if you turned around
and you had a chin strap tattoo that said I
have a gun and it's loaded, I'm not messing with you,
that's a good idea, you know. Or you just have
Jesus tattooed across your forehead. I'm like, Okay, this guy
would kill me, and you know, this guy has a
higher power. I don't want to mess with the number one,
(11:48):
number one disciple. I remember when I met uh Honders
for the first time. I was like, this guy seems
like a normal, cool, funny guy. And then you get
to know him and you're like, is is he a
serial killer? Yeah? I think Anders is by far the
most uh like. He reinforces the fact that you shouldn't
(12:09):
judge a book by its cover the most because he does.
He looks like the all American regular guy guy next door,
but he is by far our most American Psycho friends.
He is Patrick Bateman. He even suggests to us to
watch the movie and read the books so much that
I was like, what are you trying to tell us?
I remember when I first met Jersey, he gave me
(12:29):
a copy of American Psycho, the book from pressed Eastern Ellis.
Uh gave me a copy of the book and a
DVD of Jamie Fox Live from the Foxhole and goes, uh,
this is who I am comedically, and I'm knows himself.
He knows himself. You're not going to get that from
judging the way he looks. Alright, alright, you wouldn't You
(12:52):
wouldn't get that that he's the biggest Jamie Fox fan
of all time and also might be a serial killer. Yeah,
he's he's He's the Ted Bundy of our friend from
The Pleasure Ours. There are times, yeah, when you judge
(13:18):
the book by the cover and the book sucks. Like
I mean, going back to like grade school, The Great
Cats be terrible cover, actually terrible book? Right, the books
up to us? Right, can we agree? What's the cover
of the Great Never read that one? I feel like,
I like, read the cliff notes on that one. Oh,
it sucks, It's terrible. I hated The Great Guts. I
(13:40):
love the movie. I thought the movie was fantastic. Well,
you can by their covers. You can judge movies by
their covers. You usually know because you see the actors
you like and they knock it out of the park.
But with books, you're you have to invest so much
time to read a freaking book. It's gonna take you
up to half a year to finish your damn book
(14:00):
for real. At the beginning of COVID Times, when we
were in lockdown, I was like, I'm going to read
a book a week. This is what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna see in my backyard and just crank a book.
I read three books. Wow, congratulations, I'm yeah, I'm actually
pumped for you, bro, good job. Actually pumped for you. Yeah,
thank you. It was a little little little under my goal.
(14:20):
But you didn't know you No, no, no, let's reframe that.
Or you did that. You did a book a week
for three weeks, right, so you did it. You did. Yeah,
I'm just gonna reframe it a little bit, you know
what I mean, make it work. Um, since you know
I do get like extra freaking horny for this pod
because there's I do because I am a trojan man,
(14:43):
you know me. Um, So bring this is the pleasure
is ours? You know if we bring this into sexual terms,
don't judge a book by its cover. Isn't this kind
of one of the greatest fantasies where you get a
nerd dude or a nerd dude that you take their
glasses off, you get them back home, and then they're
(15:05):
just total freak shows. You thought you were dating a
computer nerd and then you get them in the sack
and they're just animals. Keep going on the floor. Is
you like it? Well? Yeah, you know, there's there's the
there's the nerd fantasy. You know the girl you get
she's the nerd at school, you know she she you
(15:27):
take the glasses off, she's put the like like I
like this fantasy of I guess yeah, yeah, yeah, Hey
I'm not the only one. Come on, look at Thelma
from Scooby Doo. Do you remember her with the glass
You mean Willma? You mean Wilma. I think I thought Thelma.
I think it's a will I don't know. I thought
(15:49):
it was Wilma. Wilma's from the flint Stones. That's uh yeah,
you're right, you right, I'm talking Filma. Dude. It's not Elma.
It's that's a sexy ass name, by the way, Velma.
And you know, I thought I was the only kid
with a crush on Velma. But then I freaking like
(16:09):
Google like sexy Velma photos. Oh my god, dude, Oh
my god, I think it might be my number one.
It turns out there are other dudes in their mid
thirties that crush on Velma. Still the Velma cosplay game,
Oh my gosh. So what would you what would a
good renaming of because you can't judge a book. You
(16:31):
Sometimes you can judge by its cover, and then other
times it's a bad idea. Maybe there maybe this should
saying should be let's stop reading books watch watch movies instead. Well,
I think that's what it is. It's archaic. It's like,
just judge a movie by the cover. Yeah, and and
also there's no really covers anymore because you're not really
(16:52):
buying DVDs the way you used to. You also there's
infinite covers. Well, Netflix changes the cover out every week
every month, there change raging the cover, so we don't
even have the opportunity to judge it by a single cover.
So what if it's like, judge the movie by its
Netflix freeze frame. But if you want to see nudity first,
(17:13):
consult Mr Skin. Well, yeah, I feel like that doesn't
roll off the top. But I feel like that's not
the best like slogan because it is a little long. Yeah. True,
I don't know really how to truncate that. Judge the
Netflix movie by the original thumbnail. Is that what we're
(17:34):
talking about right now? Thumbnails, let's get back the thumbnail.
Judge the podcast by the thumbnail in the title Okay, okay,
don't do that. Actually, actually, don't do that. Listen to it,
because it might be different. I'm kind of like, maybe
the same should be. If you see the nerdy girl
that the glasses on, and you get those glasses off
(17:55):
the freak show, Yeah, you know, you'd think like if
you see like a buff guy and and you're a
girl or a gay person, and you're like, you're like, oh,
that guy probably is throws it down. He's probably really
good at sex. He might not be. He might be
really bad. And because you can't judge his book by
the start, maybe he maybe he's done too many steroids
(18:18):
and his dick fell off, you know, and then sure,
yeah he's too muscular and he you know, and he
breaks the bed. And now now you're like, that's like
many of mice and men. It's a good book, good book,
bad cover, bad cover, good books exactly. But you might yeah,
you might get one of those guys and he's and
(18:39):
he's treating your sexual encounter like it's a freaking w
W E mash and he's taking the mad hell hard dude,
you know what I mean. But then on the other hand,
you got the nerd at school with the glasses. Yeah,
she takes her hair down and he and the girl.
I'm saying, what about the nerd boy with the glasses on,
and then you get his little you get his little
shorts off, and then it's a grown man. It is
(19:03):
very interesting I'm thinking about I'm thinking about grown muscleman
with glasses on, and when you put the glasses on,
they do look smaller muscularly than when they take the
glasses off. Something. Yeah, I'm just saying, like as far
as perception, as far as like penile size goes, like, sure,
(19:24):
you're you're expecting shock to have a shack size cock.
But sometimes, you know, there's those really skinny dudes in
the pornos with the huge, huge, huge, huge long ones
like Pete David Sin. You know, I've heard a lot
of rumors about that. You know, skinny guy really larged on.
You've heard rumors about his penis. You haven't heard any
rumors about It's big dick energy. It's big dick energy.
(19:46):
That's it. It's the energy. So hey, what about that?
What if it's um judge a book by its energy
something along that. Can you judge the dick size by
the big dick energy? You cannot. Yeah, you're saying, Adam,
you're saying that doesn't correlate. You can have big dick
energy and have a tiny pecker. Yeah, for sure, I
(20:07):
think so, Because I think I give off really big
dick energy. People are like, oh, this guy probably is
a fucking massive one. And then I don't you know,
you've you've seen game over man, and it's not it's
compared to mine. It's thank you. It appears heavier than mine.
It does appear heavy, definitely has weight too. Yeah, it's
it's healthy. It does have some weight to it. I
(20:28):
don't even know if it's true. It's just the way
that it sits. It looks like it's SIT's heavy. I
actually think that would be really cool if we all
got like a little, you know, one of those scales,
one of those scales that you measure like ingredients out on.
If we all measured our packages and see who has
the heaviest, see that might be Genitalia. Yeah, I feel
(20:48):
like we save that for this is important because that's
a very important topic. Um and on the next episode.
I do think it's like the what you weigh like
food on? Right, Yeah, exactly, food scale or a drug
scale of sorts or drug and so we uh, we
all buy them and then we place no balls, no balls.
(21:10):
Let's do two numbers, two numbers. Okay, we'll do with
balls without balls. Yeah, because I have a feeling Kyle
of balls are very heavy. You know this guy has
the heaviest nuts in the game. Yeah, this is a
scale breaker. And I know I'm judging you by your cover,
but you look like a dude with super heavy balls. Well,
once you have those two numbers, you can find out
(21:31):
how much just the balls solo ways. Okay, Yeah, with
a little arithmetic, you're gonna figure out the arithmetic. And again,
this is something that we're supposed to be talking about
with colleagues at work. And the pleasure is our job.
(21:51):
I love my job. That'll be fun to pitch dirs
when he is finally done being a goddamn movie star
already Jesus, and he did. This is a big time move.
He's sitting there in his robe and his fucking hotel
ordering room service, saying he's working. I know he's big time.
(22:12):
He's being a fat cat, you know he is. So
I'm excited to tell him that we all have to
buy kitchen scales to measure our dicks to find, and
we have to do it on the podcast. It doesn't
we don't have to frame just because I don't want
I don't want any scope numbers. I want to know
that you're not chubbed. Well, how are you going to
(22:32):
prove that? Because you can't get chubbed, because I don't
think the sound of any of our voices gets each
other chubbed. Well, you're judging a book by its cover.
We've been talking together for twenty years, you know, and
I'm hard as hell the whole time, baby, And that's
why I'm around you guys. You guys make me so horny.
There's a reason we keep coming back. Okay, coming, how
(22:54):
do you spell that? Coming? The pleasure? The pleasure is on. Yeah,
I think I think the same should be. Don't judge
a book by its cover, judge it by its penis size. Brilliant.
I love that. Yeah, that sums everything up. But now
we're talking judging. Penises have covers. Books have penises. I
(23:18):
mean books have penises. What do you mean? Yeah? You
you cover you covered up with judging? Oh I like that,
like that. I'm in baby,
What's the show called The Pleasure is Ours? I think
I know how we're kicking it off. Do you already
know the pleasure the Pleasure is Ours? We're guys. Hold on,
(00:25):
I have to get specifically horny for these you do, because,
as you know, this is the Pleasure is I'd like
that he said, this is yeah, and this is a
very very very very very very special episode of The
Pleasure Is Ours? Tell him mine? Do we have a
(00:49):
special guess? What a very special guest? Yeah, no, wonders,
that's a special guest. I'm a special guest is who's
not here? Yeah? The special guest is I have one
of Yeah, we're steering the ship durs list. You know why.
It's because he's a big Yeah. I think he's big
(01:11):
time in US. You guys think he's a big time
in US. He's like a big time movie star. It's
a big time movie he's in movies with with Bobby
de Niro. Well that's what his friends call him, and
that's what Durse calls him now. And suddenly suddenly he's
too good to do the podcast because he has to work. Oh,
he has to be in a major movie motion picture.
(01:31):
It's a big time, hoy would actor, oh too good
for the podcast. We'll guess what durs. The pleasure is our. Yeah,
we'll pick up the slack and in today's episode, uh,
we're gonna be just breaking down the the old time
(01:51):
he's saying, and really configuring it into something brand. We're
gonna infiguring it. Yeah, we're gonna be infiguring Oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
we're reconfiguring it. Beautiful. Come on, man, we don't have
Dir's a smartass here to correct us. This is like
the babysitter's dead baby. Yeahs are done. They say, don't
(02:12):
tell mom, but I'm gonna tell her we killed the babysitter. Sorry, dad,
he's dead. Does So what are what are we dissecting today?
The pleasure ours? It's the saying you can't judge a
book by its cover, old saying oldest dirt, Yes, saying
old dirt. That's an old ass saying. People be saying that,
(02:34):
like what the Fox a book that was like as
soon as they created books, they were like, don't don't
judge that one by its cover. That's an ugly cover.
It's actually a really good book, but I didn't spend
the money on the cover. Um, I just finished the book.
It's kind of coverless, but don't judge it by that.
The first few books they were going just by the
strength of the words, and then some fucking genius was like,
(02:57):
you don't have to have a great product as long
as the cover stick. And admittedly that's how I buy books.
If i'm if I'm at a you know, usually I'm
at a Hudson News at an airport and I'm like, oh,
I need to maybe i'd buy a book, and then
I kind of look at covers. Then I usually don't
buy it and just buy gum. But yeah, you certainly
(03:17):
usually just buying eleven dollar water and some gum and
just sort of stare at the covers of books. But
that's sort of how I judge it. Absolutely is by
the cover. Well yeah, I mean if you even translate
past books because I don't read, I don't read anymore.
But even if you talk about a movie, I'm only
looking at cover. Well, that's the thing, guys, And anything
(03:38):
Dre's is old ass isn't here. Because I feel as
our generation, the young, the youth, millennials, Dre's is I
believe a boomer. I'm not sure big boomer energy. But
we're like millennials, you know, and we were kind of
the generation that was taught to judge everything by its cover.
(03:58):
We had to judge album, we had to judge movies,
we had to judge books. Because we can't just consume
all this ship. We would have been just you know,
in our rooms jerking off watching movies. Well that is
what we did. But yeah, what you know, you jerked
off while watching movies? Hold on, which what you're talking about? Porno?
What you didn't well, I mean no, not really. Usually
I would I I on my mom's gateway computer in
(04:22):
the basement. Sure, I typed in boobs dot com, which
was the first website. I actually went to the very
first field results and in about thirty minutes I was
able to look at boobs. It was a really exciting
day in my life. I don't know, I guess maybe
I I not really movies usually the show Silk Stockings
that was on us all night. Well, I don't know,
(04:46):
if you guys recall we had a really great resource.
Do you guys remember what was it called Mr Skin
where um it was like a website or it was
actually a book at first, wasn't it like Mr Skin's
movie reviews. It was a book, a coffee table book,
and it maybe well basically what it was was like
a encyclopedia. Yeah, and it told you what movies at
what time had nudity in them. So you could so
(05:09):
you could, you know, you could get your Mr Skin.
You can print out the sheet on your home computer,
your mom's home printer, bring it to Blockbuster Video and
you get the VHS. You put it in and you
fast forward to the proper time code and you jump
in sets and then you start ripping your joy bro
(05:30):
and then you're in your room with your own personal VCR.
Mom shouldn't have gave you that because you're gonna you're
gonna rent under siege and you're gonna pose it when
the girl comes out of the cake with the taties
and you're gonna start ripping your joint. Uh yeah, No,
I do think, uh that we did judge a lot
(05:53):
of things by their covers. And then also I feel
like our generation, the coolest generation, best still best, We
judged even ourselves by the by our covers. Like you
identified with the type of music that you liked, you
would dress like that, like I'm so mo like, I
(06:13):
think when people look at me, they're like, oh my god,
he's back again. He's obviously a backstree. He's obviously a
backstreet boy. Yeah, he's a he's in a boy band.
He's a clean cut guy. I think when people look
at me, they're like, get that man a blanket and
a hot meal. Someone just buys you a hot plate. Yeah,
I mean there was a time when judging a book
(06:34):
by its cover. It's kind of like parental advice, Like, yeah,
a person like Kyle, you're gonna want your children to
judge him because he does look like a molester. He's not.
We know him to be like a very friendly, nice guy,
very good guy. But you don't want your kids walking
up to somebody like Hole who looks similar to what
you would. That goes for anybody with like what we
call a pervert stash. Okay, just right, exactly what did
(06:59):
the how did a mustache even get? Like? You know
that place you have a perfect mustache. You do have
a perfect must I think it's more of a porn stash.
But also feel like if you were a child, you
also might be afraid of Blake's look as well. Blake's
look is very overwhelming, lots of hair going on a
(07:21):
pervert stash, and he says things like rip your joint. Well,
but I say it amongst my elder statesman, My older
colleagues are not saying that around children at the playground. Okay,
I'm saying that with my So you're saying that, you're
you're saying that that's an okay thing to say around
your colleagues. Well, okay, Well, touche touche depends on the
(07:45):
business and our business, yes, it is okay. If we're
rolling something sound or video, you can say it. You
can say that absolutely absolutely, Okay. Well, I don't know,
I feel like, yeah, now like these these eight generation,
it's not our, it's not our, Like the six nineties
millennials were kind of going counter like your look like,
(08:06):
you look like one thing, but then you present a
totally different entity. So so okay, So for my look,
I look like a clean cut, all American guy, but
really I'm a scum bag. Yeah you're You're a heroine
at it, dude, Yeah, you're freak. I'm a bad boy
bank robber. You're a bank robber. Dog the Outlaws coming
(08:27):
to Netflix. It's in the process. But like, I think
we discussed this once. We're like back in our days.
You know, you looked at a man or a woman
with a face tattoo, and you said, this person is
a serial killer. But at this point in our junction
of society, that person could be a librarian, babysitter, an
(08:49):
ice cream man, you know, police officer. The face tattoo
basically just says now that you have, at some point
in your life you were committed to art so much
that you threw it on your friends. Yes, I really
loved art. Yes, and and and hopefully you know what
you write on your face is your mission statement, you know,
Like I know post Malone has always tired or whatever,
(09:11):
which to me is like it shows his work ethic. Yeah,
to me, that was a poor choice. I feel like
that one you could go ahead, and yeah, I wouldn't.
I would judge that cover. I also heard nothing but
great things about the guy. I've heard he starts super nice,
really good guy. But I mean sometimes he's not he
(09:33):
can't be tired. I'm tired. I'm tired a lot. Like
if you work a lot, you know you're tired quite
a bit. But you're right, even if they're out of
one out of like a week or two, there's gonna
be one or two days that where you're like, I'm
feeling good at Chipper. Yeah, yeah, you're gonna you Maybe
you did get enough sleep, you know. I think sometimes
it's okay to judge a book by its cover. It is,
I mean, it's helpful sometimes it's help right. You don't
(09:56):
want to because you know, obviously you look at Kyle
and you're like, oh, that guy, for sure, for sure
smells you know, maybe maybe he hasn't a blade on him,
and I don't You might walk to the other side
of the street or something. If he's sitting down and
like on some cardboard. You're like, You're like, you know,
like that might be his house. I don't want to
get too close. Uh, I don't want to like walk
(10:18):
through his living room. He's running now, he's running, but
he might but then actually you could snow crown. He's
just sitting. He's just he's taking a break. He's sitting,
you know, he's he's he's sitting on a curb. He
brought he brought his cardboard, a little seat out and
he's just chilling on the side of the road. He
got done eating some pizza and he said, you know what,
(10:39):
this cement is cold. I'm just gonna sit on this
on this box, right, But that could be helpful, like
the people knowing that people judge me and think that
about me can be helpful for when I'm saying out
at late at night walking and I'm like, okay, I
know that I look a little scary and smell. Nobody's
gonna want to come up and rob me because they'll
probably hit him with a lot of stink. You know
(11:01):
what defense mechanism. That's absolutely too I yeah, maybe I should.
I should grow out like a porn mustache or creepo
mustache or do something grow up my hair, because I'm
super right, you are right, look like a mark for sure.
I walk in the streets. I'm just like with my
stubby little legs, just tuting about town. People are like,
(11:24):
let's just guy. Yeah, he he deserves to have everything
in his lifestyle from it. But if you turned around
and you had a chin strap tattoo that said I
have a gun and it's loaded, I'm not messing with you,
that's a good idea, you know. Or you just have
Jesus tattooed across your forehead. I'm like, Okay, this guy
would kill me, and you know, this guy has a
higher power. I don't want to mess with the number one,
(11:48):
number one disciple. I remember when I met uh Honders
for the first time. I was like, this guy seems
like a normal, cool, funny guy. And then you get
to know him and you're like, is is he a
serial killer? Yeah? I think Anders is by far the
most uh like. He reinforces the fact that you shouldn't
(12:09):
judge a book by its cover the most because he does.
He looks like the all American regular guy guy next door,
but he is by far our most American Psycho friends.
He is Patrick Bateman. He even suggests to us to
watch the movie and read the books so much that
I was like, what are you trying to tell us?
I remember when I first met Jersey, he gave me
(12:29):
a copy of American Psycho, the book from pressed Eastern Ellis.
Uh gave me a copy of the book and a
DVD of Jamie Fox Live from the Foxhole and goes, uh,
this is who I am comedically, and I'm knows himself.
He knows himself. You're not going to get that from
judging the way he looks. Alright, alright, you wouldn't You
(12:52):
wouldn't get that that he's the biggest Jamie Fox fan
of all time and also might be a serial killer. Yeah,
he's he's He's the Ted Bundy of our friend from
The Pleasure Ours. There are times, yeah, when you judge
(13:18):
the book by the cover and the book sucks. Like
I mean, going back to like grade school, The Great
Cats be terrible cover, actually terrible book? Right, the books
up to us? Right, can we agree? What's the cover
of the Great Never read that one? I feel like,
I like, read the cliff notes on that one. Oh,
it sucks, It's terrible. I hated The Great Guts. I
(13:40):
love the movie. I thought the movie was fantastic. Well,
you can by their covers. You can judge movies by
their covers. You usually know because you see the actors
you like and they knock it out of the park.
But with books, you're you have to invest so much
time to read a freaking book. It's gonna take you
up to half a year to finish your damn book
(14:00):
for real. At the beginning of COVID Times, when we
were in lockdown, I was like, I'm going to read
a book a week. This is what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna see in my backyard and just crank a book.
I read three books. Wow, congratulations, I'm yeah, I'm actually
pumped for you, bro, good job. Actually pumped for you. Yeah,
thank you. It was a little little little under my goal.
(14:20):
But you didn't know you No, no, no, let's reframe that.
Or you did that. You did a book a week
for three weeks, right, so you did it. You did. Yeah,
I'm just gonna reframe it a little bit, you know
what I mean, make it work. Um, since you know
I do get like extra freaking horny for this pod
because there's I do because I am a trojan man,
(14:43):
you know me. Um, So bring this is the pleasure
is ours? You know if we bring this into sexual terms,
don't judge a book by its cover. Isn't this kind
of one of the greatest fantasies where you get a
nerd dude or a nerd dude that you take their
glasses off, you get them back home, and then they're
(15:05):
just total freak shows. You thought you were dating a
computer nerd and then you get them in the sack
and they're just animals. Keep going on the floor. Is
you like it? Well? Yeah, you know, there's there's the
there's the nerd fantasy. You know the girl you get
she's the nerd at school, you know she she you
(15:27):
take the glasses off, she's put the like like I
like this fantasy of I guess yeah, yeah, yeah, Hey
I'm not the only one. Come on, look at Thelma
from Scooby Doo. Do you remember her with the glass
You mean Willma? You mean Wilma. I think I thought Thelma.
I think it's a will I don't know. I thought
(15:49):
it was Wilma. Wilma's from the flint Stones. That's uh yeah,
you're right, you right, I'm talking Filma. Dude. It's not Elma.
It's that's a sexy ass name, by the way, Velma.
And you know, I thought I was the only kid
with a crush on Velma. But then I freaking like
(16:09):
Google like sexy Velma photos. Oh my god, dude, Oh
my god, I think it might be my number one.
It turns out there are other dudes in their mid
thirties that crush on Velma. Still the Velma cosplay game,
Oh my gosh. So what would you what would a
good renaming of because you can't judge a book. You
(16:31):
Sometimes you can judge by its cover, and then other
times it's a bad idea. Maybe there maybe this should
saying should be let's stop reading books watch watch movies instead. Well,
I think that's what it is. It's archaic. It's like,
just judge a movie by the cover. Yeah, and and
also there's no really covers anymore because you're not really
(16:52):
buying DVDs the way you used to. You also there's
infinite covers. Well, Netflix changes the cover out every week
every month, there change raging the cover, so we don't
even have the opportunity to judge it by a single cover.
So what if it's like, judge the movie by its
Netflix freeze frame. But if you want to see nudity first,
(17:13):
consult Mr Skin. Well, yeah, I feel like that doesn't
roll off the top. But I feel like that's not
the best like slogan because it is a little long. Yeah. True,
I don't know really how to truncate that. Judge the
Netflix movie by the original thumbnail. Is that what we're
(17:34):
talking about right now? Thumbnails, let's get back the thumbnail.
Judge the podcast by the thumbnail in the title Okay, okay,
don't do that. Actually, actually, don't do that. Listen to it,
because it might be different. I'm kind of like, maybe
the same should be. If you see the nerdy girl
that the glasses on, and you get those glasses off
(17:55):
the freak show, Yeah, you know, you'd think like if
you see like a buff guy and and you're a
girl or a gay person, and you're like, you're like, oh,
that guy probably is throws it down. He's probably really
good at sex. He might not be. He might be
really bad. And because you can't judge his book by
the start, maybe he maybe he's done too many steroids
(18:18):
and his dick fell off, you know, and then sure,
yeah he's too muscular and he you know, and he
breaks the bed. And now now you're like, that's like
many of mice and men. It's a good book, good book,
bad cover, bad cover, good books exactly. But you might yeah,
you might get one of those guys and he's and
(18:39):
he's treating your sexual encounter like it's a freaking w
W E mash and he's taking the mad hell hard dude,
you know what I mean. But then on the other hand,
you got the nerd at school with the glasses. Yeah,
she takes her hair down and he and the girl.
I'm saying, what about the nerd boy with the glasses on,
and then you get his little you get his little
shorts off, and then it's a grown man. It is
(19:03):
very interesting I'm thinking about I'm thinking about grown muscleman
with glasses on, and when you put the glasses on,
they do look smaller muscularly than when they take the
glasses off. Something. Yeah, I'm just saying, like as far
as perception, as far as like penile size goes, like, sure,
(19:24):
you're you're expecting shock to have a shack size cock.
But sometimes, you know, there's those really skinny dudes in
the pornos with the huge, huge, huge, huge long ones
like Pete David Sin. You know, I've heard a lot
of rumors about that. You know, skinny guy really larged on.
You've heard rumors about his penis. You haven't heard any
rumors about It's big dick energy. It's big dick energy.
(19:46):
That's it. It's the energy. So hey, what about that?
What if it's um judge a book by its energy
something along that. Can you judge the dick size by
the big dick energy? You cannot. Yeah, you're saying, Adam,
you're saying that doesn't correlate. You can have big dick
energy and have a tiny pecker. Yeah, for sure, I
(20:07):
think so, Because I think I give off really big
dick energy. People are like, oh, this guy probably is
a fucking massive one. And then I don't you know,
you've you've seen game over man, and it's not it's
compared to mine. It's thank you. It appears heavier than mine.
It does appear heavy, definitely has weight too. Yeah, it's
it's healthy. It does have some weight to it. I
(20:28):
don't even know if it's true. It's just the way
that it sits. It looks like it's SIT's heavy. I
actually think that would be really cool if we all
got like a little, you know, one of those scales,
one of those scales that you measure like ingredients out on.
If we all measured our packages and see who has
the heaviest, see that might be Genitalia. Yeah, I feel
(20:48):
like we save that for this is important because that's
a very important topic. Um and on the next episode.
I do think it's like the what you weigh like
food on? Right, Yeah, exactly, food scale or a drug
scale of sorts or drug and so we uh, we
all buy them and then we place no balls, no balls.
(21:10):
Let's do two numbers, two numbers. Okay, we'll do with
balls without balls. Yeah, because I have a feeling Kyle
of balls are very heavy. You know this guy has
the heaviest nuts in the game. Yeah, this is a
scale breaker. And I know I'm judging you by your cover,
but you look like a dude with super heavy balls. Well,
once you have those two numbers, you can find out
(21:31):
how much just the balls solo ways. Okay, Yeah, with
a little arithmetic, you're gonna figure out the arithmetic. And again,
this is something that we're supposed to be talking about
with colleagues at work. And the pleasure is our job.
(21:51):
I love my job. That'll be fun to pitch dirs
when he is finally done being a goddamn movie star
already Jesus, and he did. This is a big time move.
He's sitting there in his robe and his fucking hotel
ordering room service, saying he's working. I know he's big time.
(22:12):
He's being a fat cat, you know he is. So
I'm excited to tell him that we all have to
buy kitchen scales to measure our dicks to find, and
we have to do it on the podcast. It doesn't
we don't have to frame just because I don't want
I don't want any scope numbers. I want to know
that you're not chubbed. Well, how are you going to
(22:32):
prove that? Because you can't get chubbed, because I don't
think the sound of any of our voices gets each
other chubbed. Well, you're judging a book by its cover.
We've been talking together for twenty years, you know, and
I'm hard as hell the whole time, baby, And that's
why I'm around you guys. You guys make me so horny.
There's a reason we keep coming back. Okay, coming, how
(22:54):
do you spell that? Coming? The pleasure? The pleasure is on. Yeah,
I think I think the same should be. Don't judge
a book by its cover, judge it by its penis size. Brilliant.
I love that. Yeah, that sums everything up. But now
we're talking judging. Penises have covers. Books have penises. I
(23:18):
mean books have penises. What do you mean? Yeah? You
you cover you covered up with judging? Oh I like that,
like that. I'm in baby,
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