October 8, 2020 • 35 mins
Do nice guys actually finish last? If so, how can a “nice guy” go from finishing last to finishing inside a consenting adult? On this episode of The Pleasure is Ours with Cody Ko, Cody sits down with comedian Tim Dillon who hypothesizes that the word “nice” is actually devoid of any real meaning in today’s lexicon, and as a result, has become a catch-all, failsafe descriptor we all abuse. Tim unflinchingly holds a mirror up to himself and gets candid about the ways in which being a little terrible and a little selfish have actually benefited him and his career. Plus, Tim divulges the one quality that’s ultimately way more important to him than niceness in a prospective partner. Speaking of “nice,” Tim wonders if anyone with locks as luscious as Cody is capable of caring about another human being, and honestly? We’re not sure.
Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
What's up, guys? Is Cody here and before we kick
off the show, I want to talk real quick about
our sponsor, Trojan brand condoms, the number one most trusted
condom brand. Can you believe this is true? Seventy of
men don't even know that different condoms shapes exist, So
it makes sense that those same guys have issues with
condoms because the wrong fit can make them super uncomfortable.
You ever try to put the wrong cap on a pen,
(00:22):
it doesn't work or you end up with ink everywhere.
That's where Trojan saves the day, with over thirty different
varieties of condoms to choose. From offering the right fit
for the right guy, Trojan also has a whole range
of pleasure enhancing products like lubes and vibes. That's what
they call vibrators. I just learned that that will unleash
your sexual confidence. But we can get to those later
in the meantime. Pick up a box of Trojan condoms
(00:45):
wherever you get your condoms, and of course, enjoy the show.
You don't have to have a condom on now to
listen to the show. By the way, just you know
if you have sex. Hey, what's up. I'm Cody co
and we'll come to the Pleasure is Ours, the podcast
in which we examine some of the worst advice people
hear their whole lives and try to make it better.
(01:07):
I guarantee you all of these pieces of advice have
been marketed to you over and over again as good.
But you have been lied to, my friend, and it
is my job to explain how and why am you
have a trouble with life? Won't let me give you
some advice? Nice guys? Finished last. I'm sure you've heard
(01:29):
that one before, But is there any truth to this
expression or are we at a point now as a
society where the world has been such a hail storm
of ship that a little kindness from a potential partner
actually won't be a huge turn off. Let's discuss the
problem with the phrase nice guys. Finished last, is that
there's just way too many definitions of nice guy. First,
there's dudes that are just nice. We'll call them the
(01:50):
bland nice guy. Then there's the dudes that are too nice. Nowadays,
we like to call these dudes simps. Right there, the
type to pay for acute twitch girls lacic procedure, even
though they've only just exchanged emojis with them on discord.
Then there's the reddit nice guy. If you're a woman
and you're listening to this right now and just go
to the r slash nice guys subreddit, I swear it
will make you want to delete your dating apps permanently.
(02:12):
So yes, I agree that all these dudes do indeed
finished last. But perhaps there's a fourth type, a group
of nice guys I consider myself to be a part of.
You may be thinking, Cody, you're not that nice, and
to that, I say, go, fuck yourself. I am nice.
And now you're thinking, but way, you totally just contradicted yourself,
And to that I would say, yes, I know I did,
because I'm I'm also a bad boy, and that's what
(02:33):
I want to talk to you about today, being a
nice bad boy. Here to help me dissect this theme
from top to bottom today is hilarious writer, stand up comedian,
and the host of the podcast The Tim Dylan Show,
The One and Only Tim Dylan. Tim, thanks so much
for joining me today. Thank you, Cody, I appreciate it.
I think you're a nice guy. From the limited amount
of interactions we've had, I I think you aren't nice guy.
(02:55):
What does that mean? What does that mean is that
are are you insulting me? Which is why I can
say no, it means nothing. So it's so easy to say.
It's like when you know, people talk about how do
we fix the country? You know, everyone says we just
got a fund education because it means nothing, and it's
just such a nice way to get out of the
So you just say someone's nice. It means nothing. You go,
(03:16):
they're nice. Next, it's a it's a it's a hollow.
It's it's pretty vapid in terms of a description of someone. Yeah,
they're nice. She's nice. She's nice. She's not interesting or
smart or hard working or you know, she's nice. It's
like saying she's a person exists. Yeah, she's definitely taking
(03:36):
up space. She's not gonna murder you. That's nice. You know. Yeah,
it's a very simplistic way to look at it. A
nice a nice person. And would you agree that you
know nice people? They finished last. I mean, if you
look at look at the people who run the world,
(03:57):
would any of them be considered nice? Would you just
describe any of our presidents is nice? Would you describe
any of the CEOs of fortunies. Nice? Would would nice
be one of the top fifty words you would describe? Uh?
Any of those people, uh athletes that are you know,
really accomplished in their fields? Would would you say nice
(04:18):
about them? I don't think so. Listen of of all
the politicians and billionaires that I'm personal close personal friends with, ye,
I would say all the ones that I know personally
are actually very nice. Jeff Bezos, for example, we go,
we play tennis every week. He's a great dude, nice,
super nice guy. Um No, I would say Obama is nice?
(04:39):
Um No, I mean and I don't and I don't know.
I mean, I know people that know him. Obama is
a brilliant, cerebral, contemplative, uh driven God. I mean to
say he's nice would be like this very uh I
mean strange, um way to kind of diminish all of
(05:02):
the other qualities that kind of make him this really
effective and um, you know, you know, notable human being. Yeah,
I totally see what you're saying. Nice guys are are
by definition maybe a little simple, right. I think nice.
I think simple. I think nice. I think simplistic. And
(05:23):
I wouldn't really describe successful people as simplistic. I would
describe them as layered, So they have layers. Yeah, what
about what about in the dating world? You know, do
you think people seek out people that have a little
bit of an edge? You know, That's what I'm kind
of talking about when i when I talk about the
bad boy line, right, I'm I'm like, I feel like
(05:43):
I'm nice, but I'm also you know, I'll i'll be mean,
you know, if you're into it. Well, I think I'm
not nice all the time. I think people want people
that are exciting. So I think there's gotta be some
level of excitement. And I think a lot of people
that excitement comes from the fact that they maybe are
(06:06):
a little edgy or that especially you know, women with men,
there's the whole troupe. But they want the bad boy.
I think they just want excitement. I think it just
comes down to being exciting, right. So, like if a
guy was perfectly nice, it wasn't really a bad boy,
but was taking on and off private jets and yachts
and you could you could do all of the that, Like,
I don't think they would be like, well, I wish
he was more of a dick. I think it's the excitement, right,
(06:29):
So It's like if if you if you're going to
Applebee's with a guy, it's a little exciting maybe that
he smokes a joint in his car on the way there,
but maybe you don't need that level of excitement if
the person's you know, if if they can bring other
things to the table. But I think nobody wants to nobody,
And I don't know, I don't mean nobody, but I
think far less, far fewer people want someone who's boring, right,
(06:51):
nobody wants boring. Yeah. See, like I you know, I
have friends who are nice, but they will never they
you know, they would never smoke a joint in their car.
They would very take someone on a private jet because
it's like risky and it's too much money. You know
what I'm saying. Yeah, I mean you could, you could.
You can see the way people live. I know a
lot of people that are much you know, probably more
responsible with their money than me or you know, but
(07:13):
who care? I mean the point, what is the point?
You know? The point? What you know? That's the whole thing,
Like this conservative type of well, I'm never going to
spend a dollar and I live modestly and I'm proud
of that. And it's like that falls into the nice
guy thing of like, yeah, who cares, it's kind of boring,
you know. Yeah, so that's what Maybe that's what being
you know, being a bad boy is not owning a
(07:34):
leather jacket and driving a heartily you know, possibly that's
what it did. Yeah, yeah, right right, And I mean
I would argue actually probably still that's that's pretty badass,
right right. I wish I could pull that ship off.
And I'm not that much of a bad boy, but
a bad boy could just be like, you know, you're
you're taking risks, you're just living life, You're being excited. Now,
it's like if you're a bad boy, it's like, oh,
(07:56):
you know, I'm gonna go burn down the Federal Courthouse importantly,
and you know, like just yeah, like look at me.
I'm gonna you know, I'm gonna throw a molot Off
cocktail it. I don't know, Congress like look at me.
Go I'm a bad Yeah yeah, keep it fresh, keep
it exciting, keep it also, keep it keep it topical. Yeah,
keep it, keep it, keep it newsworthy. But that's that's
(08:20):
what I think of. What I think of a bad
boy is just like, you know, the the quintessential guy
that kind of doesn't give a fuck. Uh, that's what
a bad boy is. Now. I think I think that
can be fun up until the point where you know,
that pop boils over and then the woman or the
man or whoever is with that person is going like, hey,
this is not is fun anymore. How do we pay
the rent? Right? Right? Yeah, because you can't pay the rent. Yeah,
(08:43):
you want a bad boy. Do you want a bad dad? No? Right,
you don't want a bad dad, like you want a
bad girl, But you don't want a bad girl, mom, right,
Like you don't want to be like man, bad dad
kind of rolls off the tongue a little bit. That's
a that's a bad that's said bad dad. I know
so many women that I know and men that I
(09:05):
know and they're you know, so many people I know
are pregnant now, and you know, I just I always
want to just say, you know, this person is gonna
be a horrible father, you know, like so bad. But yeah,
I don't because I don't think it changes. You know,
people think it will change as soon as you pop
the kid out. It's like, oh, I have some revelation
where I have a child now and now I'm all
of a sudden good at not you know, doing fucking
(09:26):
ketamine on Tuesday. It's like, you're still that guy. You're
just still that guy. But yeah, I mean yeah, so
that that's the thing with the with with with with
the nice guy. The nice guy is just kind of
a boring guy. And if you're going maybe you're gorgeous
and you get away with that, what do you seek
out in a partner? Um? Are you looking for someone nice?
Are you looking for someone exciting? I want someone, in
(09:47):
all honesty, to just appreciate that I'm really funny and
kind of look at me like a It's very unhealthy dynamic.
I want someone that's impressed by what I do and
because I put so much work into it, I want
someone to really appreciate and understand, uh, that I'm really funny,
(10:09):
which is so unhealthy. Um, but that's what I want.
I want someone. I want it Like if I go
out with a guy who doesn't like comedy, I'm like,
this isn't gonna really work because I need someone to
really be, you know, hanging on my every word and
like they want I want someone impressed that I'm on
this show. I want someone like, oh you you did
(10:31):
a podcast with Cody co that's big. And I'm like who,
I'm like, you know, and they're like, he's massive. He's
got a trillion ga jillion followers on whatever app that
he's on, ding Dong TikTok, you know, whatever zips up
or whatever the kids are on. And he's massive, and
he's got this merch collection and it's smiley faces that
(10:53):
all wear sneakers and he's he's huge, and how do
you even know that guy? And I'm like, now you
get it, Now you get it. Don't ask me about
what I fear. Ask me how I know Cody co
or Joe Rogan. That is more important to me. So
I'm seeking a very vapid, kind of shallow, insecure, uh
sick person that finds it my small, tiny, insignificant amount
(11:19):
of fame is impressive enough to overlook my glaring, uh
you know, other personal issues. Okay, totally. Yeah, it's very honest.
It's as honest as I could be. About was extremely honest.
I mean, whether they're a bad boy or a bad
or good or nice or immaterial, Yeah, it doesn't matter.
(11:41):
You just want someone to laugh at literally everything you say.
Just yeah, and just constantly be like, I just I
just want someone to look at me, go, you've worked
so hard. I just want people to I want people
to just just during the day apropos of nothing, look
at me and go, You've worked so goddamn hard. No
one I appreciate you. No one understands how hard you've worked.
(12:03):
You've worked so hard. Of course, nobody works as hard
as you know, nobody works as hard. You work the hardest.
Fix your credit or or or have a valid driver's license.
You've worked so hard that of course you've you've let
these things go by the wayside, all right, fair enough?
Can I also just say I'm I'm like a huge fan.
(12:25):
I love you, I love your show man. See, this
is what I want, and the related this is exactly
what I want someone to say dinner exactly. I'm just
coming onto you right now. Yeah. No, I wish, I
wish we had met in uh in the dazz Jazzert.
But everybody who's COVID paranoid, I get it. Yeah, I
know we're in a house of people. I mean us
to like we've we've just been locked down. I mean
I have too op until recently. Now, I'm like kind
(12:46):
of starting to do shows again because I'm like, I mean,
I don't know, the rates are falling. I mean things
are you know, life seems to be kind of restarting.
I don't know. I mean, we'll see. It really does
seem to be. Yeah, i mean, how are those hour those?
How are the outdoor show? Like the outdoors? You're in
a tent. It's great. It feels like a comedy club
like my friends like Whitney or Spade, and these people
(13:08):
are starting to go on the road again. Um, you know,
so I'm like Rogan and these people are like kind
of putting their feet out there. So I'm like, I'm like,
all right, I guess I'll just put a couple of
shows on the books and see what happens. That's great, man,
you might as well working again. You know how has
being terrible benefited you? Yeah? Well, so can we say
(13:34):
where just going on? We're just going on about what
you want? What you wanted a partner? Right? And you know,
I would say, you know what you want is is
someone who appreciates you, And you know what do you
necessarily you have to appreciate them back or you just
want it to be a one side. Appreciate them too.
I'll do that. You know, Um, how is it being
(13:55):
terrible helped me? That's a great question. Being selfish has
helped me tremendously in the business that I am in. Um,
in the business that you are in, you have to
work very very hard on yourself and whatever you are doing,
and that and that this is why. And I said
it on you know, when I was talking to Rogan,
I said, like, this idea that celebrities are all now
(14:16):
activists when they've spent the entirety of their lives focusing
on themselves is kind of funny because I know many
of these people personally, and I know you know what
it takes to get good at this. And so I've
been very very selfish for a decade. I thought only
about myself and my career with margin. Like every now
(14:37):
and then I'll have another thought like, oh is does
my mom have cancer? Or oh is the world on fire?
H is there some war today? But the predominantly it's
me and my career and my ticket sales and everything
like that. Yeah, I agree. I I'm I find myself
fighting that constantly because it's not something that I want.
I don't want to be a selfish dude all the time.
(14:59):
Absolute but I just like, I just want to like
succeed so bad that I just I find myself in
this awful loop of just only caring about myself. You
have that head of hair where nobody sees the guy
with your head of hair and goes he's thinking about others,
you know what I mean. Nobody sees nobody sees you
with the grove having a drinking a lot to go,
(15:19):
and that guy is really concerned with others right now.
He's not a thought, not a thought about himself. Yeah. Meanwhile,
I'm on my computer writing my next activists plan because
I about climate change, because I do care about the world,
because I want I want, you know, I want my
kids to see how sick my hair is. You know,
(15:40):
I agree, and listen, I care about the world too,
I just don't care about the world. Do you see
the difference? Like I care about it, but I don't
care about it because I care about it, and like
I care, I have friends and I care about but
I'll never call. That's the way I feel about the world.
I care, but I don't call. You know what. I'm
laying in bed and I in my head on a pillow.
(16:00):
I go, God, I hope everything works out with Michael,
and I go to bed. But I'm never gonna call
and go how are you? You know what I mean? Yeah,
I'm never gonna call and go do you need anything?
I'll be in the area. No. I just think fondly
of them and hope things work out, which is other
you hope that other people are taking care of them. Yes,
(16:21):
that's the way I feel about the world. Concerned, not
enough to pick up the phone, because the other thing
is it's like, you know, you pick up the phone
in their static, you can't hear the person on the
other halfway through you go, why did I call? So
that's that's what I feel. Getting actively involved is great
if you really want to be on the phone all
(16:42):
day every day. I think my value to society is
making people laugh. I've keyed in on what that value is,
and I don't think that value is telling people endlessly
about climate change. I don't know what that will do. Yes,
it seems to be an issue, but again, things are
burning and no one really cares. I don't really care,
and I live in l A. Like I watched the
(17:05):
earth burn and I don't really care that much because
we're just programmed as human beings. It's just gonna end,
and however it ends, it ends. But it's like you
drive around, you look at the fire, and I know,
is this a bad boy thing to do? I don't know.
I look at the fire, go U and I keep going.
I don't go we need a plan of action. I
just go, yeah, this is burning. It's it's gonna burn, right,
(17:27):
That's what we're here to do. We're here to kind
of burn it all down in one way or the other. Yeah, yes, yeah,
bad boys are realists about I think that's what it is.
Bad boys are realists. We have to. We gotta. It's
our job to talk about the stuff that really matters,
Like the TikTok houses in the you know, burning man
zoom calls. I mean it's those kids are not phazed.
(17:48):
When the TikTok kids are upset, I'll be upset. The
high pass is still dancing around on the terrace. So
if they're upset, I'll get If they're fine, then why
should I be upsets? We are they're younger than me,
They've got longer to live on the planet than I do.
And when they have, they have more to lose to.
They're like on the fucking the top of the world
(18:09):
right now. I followed no Boo on they're eating in
the deck, and it's usually it's like, hey, the minute
I see them panic. When I go to the Demilio's
page and I see just fires of more door and
they're screaming and running around, I'll go, oh, this has
gotten bad. Yeah, now I'll now, I'll give a show.
I'll care. Okay, we're gonna take a quick break. But
(18:32):
when we come back, Tim and I are going to
fix this problematic piece of advice in real time. When
you think of Trojan brand condoms, what do you think,
what's the first thing that pops into your head? Well,
hopefully you're thinking about condoms because it's in the name,
but also because Trojan has a wide variety of condoms
(18:53):
to satisfy every fit and feel. But Trojan it's all
about pleasure. So you should also think about ubes and vibrators. Now,
I know those are cheeky words to say, right you're
probably grinning right now, you're probably snickering in your car.
Say again what you just said, vibrator, But listen that
I'm serious. Trojan has vibes for her like Ultra touch
and divine that makes solo play or four play more exciting,
(19:15):
and vibrating rings for him and her like tandem and
two in one that can make well, everything more exciting.
But now you're thinking, how can I make this process
a little bit more frictionless? Well, Trojan has silicone based
lube with their Arouses and releases line and water based
loop with their H two O line. And I mean
you already know Trojan has thirty plus varieties of condoms,
(19:35):
so there's a lot to explore there too to find
the right fit for you. So the next time you're
in the condom mile and grabbing a box of Trojan condoms,
make sure to check out Trojan's collection of lubes and
vibes to make the pleasure yours. So then how do
we fix nice guys finished last? What do we I
would just what we do to that? Yeah? I would
(19:56):
amend it and just say nice guys finish right? They
just finished. I mean, whether it's last or not, they
feel like they're gonna get it done. I don't know
how great it's gonna be. I mean it almost sounds worse.
Nice guys, finish like they finish. They don't win. They
don't win. They finished. You finished the marathon. You you
did it. You didn't die of heat stroke during the marathon.
(20:20):
You finished it, You get a medal. There's a picture
on a refrigerator. Oh yeah, that's when my dad ran
the marathon. You know, you talk about it more than
anyone else. You bring it up, you try to inject
it into dinner conferenceation. You remember when I ran the marathon. Yeah, yeah,
John ran the marathon. But yeah, nice guys finished. They're finishers.
They're not winners. They don't they're not place holders. They finish.
It's also like, yeah, it's like you could you could
(20:41):
fun that guy. He's gonna finish for sure. Yeah, he'll
get there. You might not. There's also this idea in
a relationship that you want a relationship with somebody who
might leave right You want you want to feel like
you've gotten something. Everybody wants they feel like they got
a deal. So the idea that you're just with this
nice guy, you can't go anywhere else, can't funk anyone else,
(21:02):
can't find anything else. I think people want to know that.
Like there's excitement and the part of The excitement is
that you know this thing, could you go off the rails,
you know, like you've secured something that other people want.
It's exclusivity. It's what you know. It's the best restaurants,
the best private schools, the best you know clubs, the
(21:24):
best you know these lists that everybody wants to get on.
It's all about there's a finite amount of space and
it's exclusivity, and you're scared of losing it. You're scared
of losing something. I think when you're not scared of
actively losing your partner, maybe you don't value them as much.
You start to devalue them. Yeah that's fair. Okay, Nice guys, finish, Nice,
(21:46):
nice guys, finish. Right, all right, Tim, This is the
part of the show called Worst Advice. UM, I want
to ask you a question. What's the worst advice you've
ever received in your life? Follow your dreams? Really worst advice.
It's the worst advice of my generation. God, um, because
it doesn't mean anything. Advice is is that's very vague
(22:10):
or general is worse than no advice at all. So
when you tell a group of people to follow their dreams,
you're you're making uh, you're you're saying that number one,
that that person or group of people have dreams. Okay, Um,
you're saying that those You're you're giving the people the
benefit of the doubt that they have dreams that they're
(22:31):
um aware of of the full the totality of what
that means to follow a dream. I mean it's linguistically,
it's in the actual wording of what you're telling people
to do. You're saying follow a dream. It would almost
be like telling people, Hey, why don't you follow a ghost?
You know, if you said go and follow a spirit,
(22:54):
people would go, that's insane. I'm not doing that. But instead,
follow your dreams is like a celebrated thing that we
tell children follow your dreams. Um and and and for
most people, a dream is a dream and it should
stay a dream and for the for the people to
choose to make a dream of reality. Um, it is
never a linear path to get there. And I tend
(23:16):
to think none of the people that end up pursuing
what they want to pursue in life need to be
told to do it, and that people will disagree with
me there. And I know people go to the Academy
Awards and these speeches and go. I just want to
thank my fifth grade teacher who told me that I
was really good in the school production of Annie. And
that's why I'm here. That's why I'm here because Mrs
(23:38):
Miller and fifth grade said You're a star. And I
always remember that. That's none of that, is it true.
None of that is true. None of that kept you
going through the pitfalls of what this business is. Um.
And I think what what follow your dreams does for
a lot of people is it makes them, uh have
irrational expect nations, and they start making demands of the
(24:02):
world and uh they a lot of times become bitter,
angry and resentful, uh for no reason. And um. You
know so, I think that as a piece of advice,
not only to me, but given more broadly to my
entire generation, that all the fulfillment in life you have
to get is to be is work. You know, be
(24:23):
a boss, be a girl boss, like be a boss
and own your own thing and Gary vs. Telling everyone
to hustle and grind and be your own boss. You know,
all of this advice, all this kind of horseshit be
an entrepreneur is truly truly bad advice. The people that
are gonna do that don't really need that advice. But
the guys giving that advice to make a lot of
money off people that are, you know, completely incapable of
(24:48):
being their own boss, have none of those skills. But
think if they listen to a tape or read a
book that changes, it does not change. It should be
something like follow your hobbies, like follow your interests, or
just should be what did the The conversation is what
do you want out of life? And if you go
I want to be happy? Then the first thing is
when you get out of the follow your dreams line
(25:08):
right like that, there should be two lines, and it goes,
I want to follow my dreams. Great, I want to
be happy. Let's take the happy people. Let's move them
into this section, um who they just want to be happy?
And let's take the follow your dreams people and then
ask them do you mind if your dreams destroy your life?
And if they go yeah, I kind of mind not,
then go well, you know, follow them at your own
(25:30):
risk because I know many people whose dreams have completely
destroyed their life. What about people who have achieved their dreams?
Do you think they're happy? Yeah? I don't think so,
because it's just you know, it's a moving goalpost. It's
like none of them that I've met, uh there, I mean,
happy is a weird word, right, They're kind of happy,
(25:51):
there's a happiness, they're they're fulfilled momentarily. Um. I think
this idea of choice is this we fetishize the idea
of choice. Everybody's got a choice. I choose, you choose
what do you want? Um. A lot of times I
don't know that you're gonna choose the person you're gonna be.
If you're a highly driven human being that is just
(26:12):
going to be fulfilled in the arena of work, that
is who you're gonna be. But there are other Like
my friend did not choose to be a volunteer fireman
who works occasionally and sits in his backyard and drinks
beer and just loves that life. I don't know if
he chose that that's who he's wired to be. I'm
wired to be the type of person that I am,
And I think there's certain choices you can make. But
this idea that you can just wholesale design yourself is
(26:37):
this very American, very modern idea that I'm just dyning
myself and I'm gonna pick out certain things, and and
and and to an extent, you can do that a
little bit, but we're wired to be certain things. There's
great deal makers, there's great lovers. There's performers, there's businessmen,
there are spies, there are people, there's there's bad boy,
(27:00):
there's nice baby, there's nice guy. So I think that's
what a lot of it is. Yet it's funny, Like
funny you watch a YouTube entrepreneur tutorial or you're watching
a podcast and the first piece of advice they give
you is wake up at five thirty am every day.
Like that's not gonna change ship for eighty percent of
people who are not even wired to wake up that early.
(27:22):
This idea that you can like this being an Olympic
athlete is like a choice. It's like there's choices you
make along the way. But I'm pretty sure that you've
displayed some talent at a very early age towards athletics.
It's very rare that someone who's I don't know, seventeen
and it's never done anything athletic will then go, I'm
gonna be in the Olympics. It's like, no, there's athletes
(27:44):
who can see these little freak kids with you know,
eight packs when they're like six and they're just little
monsters and they get really really good at a sport. Yeah, yeah,
I think I agree with that. So for what would
you what would you? What would you revise it to
follow follow you away from me? If I had to
get kids advice, if I was the principal of a school,
(28:05):
I'd go, okay, get away from me. I think that's
so much of a better line of advice and follow
you dreams. I just go, just get away from me,
and in the way they're gonna find out what they
should be doing. Get out of here, just go try,
just do. Just staring at a guidance counsel poster worse
(28:26):
an eagle and it says, sore, what is that? Just
go get away, get off these school grounds, go live alife.
I'd love to see someone quote they are like named
that as their motivation and their best actor's speech. Yeah,
it was the poster, it was. The speeches were honest.
They would get up and they would go I've never
(28:47):
felt like a human being, and thank god I'm not
one now. My only goal in life has to be
has been to funk as much as I can. And
I've never felt like a human being, and thank god
I have this big house in Malibu and all these
guards and gay it's in money, and thank god I
don't feel like one. Now here's to not being human
and everybody collapsed, and that's the speech. And also get
(29:08):
away from me and get away from me? Right? Perfect?
All right? Tim, lightning around. I'm gonna name two people
of note, and you have to tell me who you'd
rather take advice from. Uh in this in the scenario,
you have to take advice from one of them and
explain to me why you're choosing one or the other. Okay, alright?
(29:29):
Six nine or Betty White? Betty White? Why not a pedophile? Okay,
that's easy. Kanye West or Cardi b Kanye West more talent? Okay,
the cast of the Office or the cast of Breaking Bad,
cast of Breaking Bad better show Bill Gates are one
of the stars of teen Mom, one of the stars
of Team Mom. Why um, they're not going to vaccinate
(29:52):
me against my will? Lauren Gray or Neil Degrass, Tyson
nel de Grass Tyson. I don't know. Lauren Grays pretty
good at dancing on Techno, She's very good, But I
just I'm curious about space. I don't know much about it.
I feel like I would have more more questions for him.
All right, Perfect? And finally, Gary Busey or a mentally
(30:14):
ill child that stabbed their friend to appease the slender Man,
it would be the same advice. So it's either or okay. Perfect.
Before we wrap up today, we like to ask our
guests one final question. We've already talked about the worst
advice you've received, But what is the worst advice you've
ever given? Um? The worst advice I've ever given. That's very,
(30:40):
very interesting because, as you can imagine, so many I
mean to ask me for advice is that's you're already crazy?
But um, I mentioned the person being like, hey, what
do you think? I need a pep talk? What do
you think? But I would say the worst advice I've
ever given, UM is you know when other comedians say
(31:02):
to me like, well how do I do it? And
I just go just be funny, which is not the case.
I'm just be funny, and the real advice is like
just be They're the real advice is like, just be
uncompromising in your pursuit of of of of of of
getting your name out there and and and succeeding at this,
and and and being funny is a huge part of that.
(31:24):
But just being funny and waiting or hoping that someone's
gonna notice or care is is not at all what
the game is. The game is, you know, to just
be really devoted to making people care that you're funny
or making people care that whatever talent you bring to
the I think that the worst advice that I've given,
(31:45):
and we just give it because it's easy, right, it's easy.
Just just be funny, man, Just be funny. You just
go that. But that's not really what That's not really
the advice. The advice is like, you know, just be
unwilling to fucking lose in that arena, Like be unwilling
to not you know, put yourself out there constantly all
the time. And that's the advice you don't want to
(32:08):
give two people because we all want to just believe
that the talent rules to day are that being funny
is the most important thing. There's a there's a nice
um you know, kind of comforting thought there, but it's
not accurate, it's not realistic. So, you know, the worst advice,
I'm the same as follow your dreams. Yeah, just just
(32:30):
be funny, just follow your dreams, out of your out
of your ship. But like just just you know, the
better advice is like blackmail the CEO of Fox. Yeah, exactly,
Like set up honey pot operation and get a few executives.
I mean, I don't know, funny a lot of everything
you can. I've told so many of my friends have
(32:52):
become prostitutes, and I believe it's a good thing to do. Truly, truly,
I truly believe it's a great Like if I was
a young man or woman with a great body, I
would be in in a state in bel air right now.
Baar ass? Why not? That's my studying abroad. Okay, yeah,
I mean that might be the worst advice, but it is.
(33:14):
It's probably not. It's that it's not good advice When
I give it to people at dinner in front of
their significant others, it's it's a little awkward. You know.
I want to thank you Tim Dylan for joining us.
I appreciate it. Um. I think you know, I made
a pretty compelling case for why bad boys are completely underrated.
(33:37):
But honestly, you know, it sounds like being a total
piece of ship is working out great for you. So yes,
you know, I don't really know what to think anymore,
you know. Yes, well, I I think neither one of
us made that case or even the case against it.
But I think that if people leave this, they'll they'll
understand that there's there's good and bad. There's good and
being bad. That's what it's all about. Yeah, Yes, there's
(33:59):
good and being bad. That's what we've learned today. Yes,
do you want to plug anything? Yeah? I mean Tim
Dillon Show on all the podcast platforms and on YouTube
and whatever, and Tim J. Dillon on all the social media.
I appreciate it, man, Thank you, thank this was awesome.
Oh please anytime, Thanks so much. All right, guys, thanks
(34:20):
for listening. Man, you have a trouble with life, Well
let me give you some of fun. The Pleasure Is
Ours is a production of I Heeart Radio and Trojan Brand,
hosted by me Cody co. The podcast is executive produced
by Ethan Fixel, produced and written by Jonathan Grimm, written
by David Doot, and engineered, edited and mixed by Matt Stillo.
(34:43):
Our theme song was composed by me CODYK with additional
music by Brad Kemp at Second Bedroom Studio. If you
haven't already subscribed, rated, or reviewed The Pleasure is Ours,
please do so on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast,
or wherever you get your podcast. Baby, thanks again for
tuning into the Pleasure as Ours, presented by Trojan brand Condoms.
(35:06):
That's a wrap for our episode, and also you should
be wrapping it up in the bedroom. I'm talking, of course,
about your painis You know, when you're out there doing
your thing, you've got to be safe and you've gotta
get a condom that works for you. If you ever
hear a guy complaining about condoms, it's likely because he's
been uncomfortable using the wrong fit. He probably doesn't even
know that Trojan has over thirty different size and shape
(35:27):
varieties to solve all condom fit issues. So pick up
a box of Trojan Condoms wherever you get your condoms,
and maybe even a second box that you've been wanting
to try out. Look at you, you fucking sex lord.
Go for it, buddy, See you next time.
What's up, guys? Is Cody here and before we kick
off the show, I want to talk real quick about
our sponsor, Trojan brand condoms, the number one most trusted
condom brand. Can you believe this is true? Seventy of
men don't even know that different condoms shapes exist, So
it makes sense that those same guys have issues with
condoms because the wrong fit can make them super uncomfortable.
You ever try to put the wrong cap on a pen,
(00:22):
it doesn't work or you end up with ink everywhere.
That's where Trojan saves the day, with over thirty different
varieties of condoms to choose. From offering the right fit
for the right guy, Trojan also has a whole range
of pleasure enhancing products like lubes and vibes. That's what
they call vibrators. I just learned that that will unleash
your sexual confidence. But we can get to those later
in the meantime. Pick up a box of Trojan condoms
(00:45):
wherever you get your condoms, and of course, enjoy the show.
You don't have to have a condom on now to
listen to the show. By the way, just you know
if you have sex. Hey, what's up. I'm Cody co
and we'll come to the Pleasure is Ours, the podcast
in which we examine some of the worst advice people
hear their whole lives and try to make it better.
(01:07):
I guarantee you all of these pieces of advice have
been marketed to you over and over again as good.
But you have been lied to, my friend, and it
is my job to explain how and why am you
have a trouble with life? Won't let me give you
some advice? Nice guys? Finished last. I'm sure you've heard
(01:29):
that one before, But is there any truth to this
expression or are we at a point now as a
society where the world has been such a hail storm
of ship that a little kindness from a potential partner
actually won't be a huge turn off. Let's discuss the
problem with the phrase nice guys. Finished last, is that
there's just way too many definitions of nice guy. First,
there's dudes that are just nice. We'll call them the
(01:50):
bland nice guy. Then there's the dudes that are too nice. Nowadays,
we like to call these dudes simps. Right there, the
type to pay for acute twitch girls lacic procedure, even
though they've only just exchanged emojis with them on discord.
Then there's the reddit nice guy. If you're a woman
and you're listening to this right now and just go
to the r slash nice guys subreddit, I swear it
will make you want to delete your dating apps permanently.
(02:12):
So yes, I agree that all these dudes do indeed
finished last. But perhaps there's a fourth type, a group
of nice guys I consider myself to be a part of.
You may be thinking, Cody, you're not that nice, and
to that, I say, go, fuck yourself. I am nice.
And now you're thinking, but way, you totally just contradicted yourself,
And to that I would say, yes, I know I did,
because I'm I'm also a bad boy, and that's what
(02:33):
I want to talk to you about today, being a
nice bad boy. Here to help me dissect this theme
from top to bottom today is hilarious writer, stand up comedian,
and the host of the podcast The Tim Dylan Show,
The One and Only Tim Dylan. Tim, thanks so much
for joining me today. Thank you, Cody, I appreciate it.
I think you're a nice guy. From the limited amount
of interactions we've had, I I think you aren't nice guy.
(02:55):
What does that mean? What does that mean is that
are are you insulting me? Which is why I can
say no, it means nothing. So it's so easy to say.
It's like when you know, people talk about how do
we fix the country? You know, everyone says we just
got a fund education because it means nothing, and it's
just such a nice way to get out of the
So you just say someone's nice. It means nothing. You go,
(03:16):
they're nice. Next, it's a it's a it's a hollow.
It's it's pretty vapid in terms of a description of someone. Yeah,
they're nice. She's nice. She's nice. She's not interesting or
smart or hard working or you know, she's nice. It's
like saying she's a person exists. Yeah, she's definitely taking
(03:36):
up space. She's not gonna murder you. That's nice. You know. Yeah,
it's a very simplistic way to look at it. A
nice a nice person. And would you agree that you
know nice people? They finished last. I mean, if you
look at look at the people who run the world,
(03:57):
would any of them be considered nice? Would you just
describe any of our presidents is nice? Would you describe
any of the CEOs of fortunies. Nice? Would would nice
be one of the top fifty words you would describe? Uh?
Any of those people, uh athletes that are you know,
really accomplished in their fields? Would would you say nice
(04:18):
about them? I don't think so. Listen of of all
the politicians and billionaires that I'm personal close personal friends with, ye,
I would say all the ones that I know personally
are actually very nice. Jeff Bezos, for example, we go,
we play tennis every week. He's a great dude, nice,
super nice guy. Um No, I would say Obama is nice?
(04:39):
Um No, I mean and I don't and I don't know.
I mean, I know people that know him. Obama is
a brilliant, cerebral, contemplative, uh driven God. I mean to
say he's nice would be like this very uh I
mean strange, um way to kind of diminish all of
(05:02):
the other qualities that kind of make him this really
effective and um, you know, you know, notable human being. Yeah,
I totally see what you're saying. Nice guys are are
by definition maybe a little simple, right. I think nice.
I think simple. I think nice. I think simplistic. And
(05:23):
I wouldn't really describe successful people as simplistic. I would
describe them as layered, So they have layers. Yeah, what
about what about in the dating world? You know, do
you think people seek out people that have a little
bit of an edge? You know, That's what I'm kind
of talking about when i when I talk about the
bad boy line, right, I'm I'm like, I feel like
(05:43):
I'm nice, but I'm also you know, I'll i'll be mean,
you know, if you're into it. Well, I think I'm
not nice all the time. I think people want people
that are exciting. So I think there's gotta be some
level of excitement. And I think a lot of people
that excitement comes from the fact that they maybe are
(06:06):
a little edgy or that especially you know, women with men,
there's the whole troupe. But they want the bad boy.
I think they just want excitement. I think it just
comes down to being exciting, right. So, like if a
guy was perfectly nice, it wasn't really a bad boy,
but was taking on and off private jets and yachts
and you could you could do all of the that, Like,
I don't think they would be like, well, I wish
he was more of a dick. I think it's the excitement, right,
(06:29):
So It's like if if you if you're going to
Applebee's with a guy, it's a little exciting maybe that
he smokes a joint in his car on the way there,
but maybe you don't need that level of excitement if
the person's you know, if if they can bring other
things to the table. But I think nobody wants to nobody,
And I don't know, I don't mean nobody, but I
think far less, far fewer people want someone who's boring, right,
(06:51):
nobody wants boring. Yeah. See, like I you know, I
have friends who are nice, but they will never they
you know, they would never smoke a joint in their car.
They would very take someone on a private jet because
it's like risky and it's too much money. You know
what I'm saying. Yeah, I mean you could, you could.
You can see the way people live. I know a
lot of people that are much you know, probably more
responsible with their money than me or you know, but
(07:13):
who care? I mean the point, what is the point?
You know? The point? What you know? That's the whole thing,
Like this conservative type of well, I'm never going to
spend a dollar and I live modestly and I'm proud
of that. And it's like that falls into the nice
guy thing of like, yeah, who cares, it's kind of boring,
you know. Yeah, so that's what Maybe that's what being
you know, being a bad boy is not owning a
(07:34):
leather jacket and driving a heartily you know, possibly that's
what it did. Yeah, yeah, right right, And I mean
I would argue actually probably still that's that's pretty badass,
right right. I wish I could pull that ship off.
And I'm not that much of a bad boy, but
a bad boy could just be like, you know, you're
you're taking risks, you're just living life, You're being excited. Now,
it's like if you're a bad boy, it's like, oh,
(07:56):
you know, I'm gonna go burn down the Federal Courthouse importantly,
and you know, like just yeah, like look at me.
I'm gonna you know, I'm gonna throw a molot Off
cocktail it. I don't know, Congress like look at me.
Go I'm a bad Yeah yeah, keep it fresh, keep
it exciting, keep it also, keep it keep it topical. Yeah,
keep it, keep it, keep it newsworthy. But that's that's
(08:20):
what I think of. What I think of a bad
boy is just like, you know, the the quintessential guy
that kind of doesn't give a fuck. Uh, that's what
a bad boy is. Now. I think I think that
can be fun up until the point where you know,
that pop boils over and then the woman or the
man or whoever is with that person is going like, hey,
this is not is fun anymore. How do we pay
the rent? Right? Right? Yeah, because you can't pay the rent. Yeah,
(08:43):
you want a bad boy. Do you want a bad dad? No? Right,
you don't want a bad dad, like you want a
bad girl, But you don't want a bad girl, mom, right,
Like you don't want to be like man, bad dad
kind of rolls off the tongue a little bit. That's
a that's a bad that's said bad dad. I know
so many women that I know and men that I
(09:05):
know and they're you know, so many people I know
are pregnant now, and you know, I just I always
want to just say, you know, this person is gonna
be a horrible father, you know, like so bad. But yeah,
I don't because I don't think it changes. You know,
people think it will change as soon as you pop
the kid out. It's like, oh, I have some revelation
where I have a child now and now I'm all
of a sudden good at not you know, doing fucking
(09:26):
ketamine on Tuesday. It's like, you're still that guy. You're
just still that guy. But yeah, I mean yeah, so
that that's the thing with the with with with with
the nice guy. The nice guy is just kind of
a boring guy. And if you're going maybe you're gorgeous
and you get away with that, what do you seek
out in a partner? Um? Are you looking for someone nice?
Are you looking for someone exciting? I want someone, in
(09:47):
all honesty, to just appreciate that I'm really funny and
kind of look at me like a It's very unhealthy dynamic.
I want someone that's impressed by what I do and
because I put so much work into it, I want
someone to really appreciate and understand, uh, that I'm really funny,
(10:09):
which is so unhealthy. Um, but that's what I want.
I want someone. I want it Like if I go
out with a guy who doesn't like comedy, I'm like,
this isn't gonna really work because I need someone to
really be, you know, hanging on my every word and
like they want I want someone impressed that I'm on
this show. I want someone like, oh you you did
(10:31):
a podcast with Cody co that's big. And I'm like who,
I'm like, you know, and they're like, he's massive. He's
got a trillion ga jillion followers on whatever app that
he's on, ding Dong TikTok, you know, whatever zips up
or whatever the kids are on. And he's massive, and
he's got this merch collection and it's smiley faces that
(10:53):
all wear sneakers and he's he's huge, and how do
you even know that guy? And I'm like, now you
get it, Now you get it. Don't ask me about
what I fear. Ask me how I know Cody co
or Joe Rogan. That is more important to me. So
I'm seeking a very vapid, kind of shallow, insecure, uh
sick person that finds it my small, tiny, insignificant amount
(11:19):
of fame is impressive enough to overlook my glaring, uh
you know, other personal issues. Okay, totally. Yeah, it's very honest.
It's as honest as I could be. About was extremely honest.
I mean, whether they're a bad boy or a bad
or good or nice or immaterial, Yeah, it doesn't matter.
(11:41):
You just want someone to laugh at literally everything you say.
Just yeah, and just constantly be like, I just I
just want someone to look at me, go, you've worked
so hard. I just want people to I want people
to just just during the day apropos of nothing, look
at me and go, You've worked so goddamn hard. No
one I appreciate you. No one understands how hard you've worked.
(12:03):
You've worked so hard. Of course, nobody works as hard
as you know, nobody works as hard. You work the hardest.
Fix your credit or or or have a valid driver's license.
You've worked so hard that of course you've you've let
these things go by the wayside, all right, fair enough?
Can I also just say I'm I'm like a huge fan.
(12:25):
I love you, I love your show man. See, this
is what I want, and the related this is exactly
what I want someone to say dinner exactly. I'm just
coming onto you right now. Yeah. No, I wish, I
wish we had met in uh in the dazz Jazzert.
But everybody who's COVID paranoid, I get it. Yeah, I
know we're in a house of people. I mean us
to like we've we've just been locked down. I mean
I have too op until recently. Now, I'm like kind
(12:46):
of starting to do shows again because I'm like, I mean,
I don't know, the rates are falling. I mean things
are you know, life seems to be kind of restarting.
I don't know. I mean, we'll see. It really does
seem to be. Yeah, i mean, how are those hour those?
How are the outdoor show? Like the outdoors? You're in
a tent. It's great. It feels like a comedy club
like my friends like Whitney or Spade, and these people
(13:08):
are starting to go on the road again. Um, you know,
so I'm like Rogan and these people are like kind
of putting their feet out there. So I'm like, I'm like,
all right, I guess I'll just put a couple of
shows on the books and see what happens. That's great, man,
you might as well working again. You know how has
being terrible benefited you? Yeah? Well, so can we say
(13:34):
where just going on? We're just going on about what
you want? What you wanted a partner? Right? And you know,
I would say, you know what you want is is
someone who appreciates you, And you know what do you
necessarily you have to appreciate them back or you just
want it to be a one side. Appreciate them too.
I'll do that. You know, Um, how is it being
(13:55):
terrible helped me? That's a great question. Being selfish has
helped me tremendously in the business that I am in. Um,
in the business that you are in, you have to
work very very hard on yourself and whatever you are doing,
and that and that this is why. And I said
it on you know, when I was talking to Rogan,
I said, like, this idea that celebrities are all now
(14:16):
activists when they've spent the entirety of their lives focusing
on themselves is kind of funny because I know many
of these people personally, and I know you know what
it takes to get good at this. And so I've
been very very selfish for a decade. I thought only
about myself and my career with margin. Like every now
(14:37):
and then I'll have another thought like, oh is does
my mom have cancer? Or oh is the world on fire?
H is there some war today? But the predominantly it's
me and my career and my ticket sales and everything
like that. Yeah, I agree. I I'm I find myself
fighting that constantly because it's not something that I want.
I don't want to be a selfish dude all the time.
(14:59):
Absolute but I just like, I just want to like
succeed so bad that I just I find myself in
this awful loop of just only caring about myself. You
have that head of hair where nobody sees the guy
with your head of hair and goes he's thinking about others,
you know what I mean. Nobody sees nobody sees you
with the grove having a drinking a lot to go,
(15:19):
and that guy is really concerned with others right now.
He's not a thought, not a thought about himself. Yeah. Meanwhile,
I'm on my computer writing my next activists plan because
I about climate change, because I do care about the world,
because I want I want, you know, I want my
kids to see how sick my hair is. You know,
(15:40):
I agree, and listen, I care about the world too,
I just don't care about the world. Do you see
the difference? Like I care about it, but I don't
care about it because I care about it, and like
I care, I have friends and I care about but
I'll never call. That's the way I feel about the world.
I care, but I don't call. You know what. I'm
laying in bed and I in my head on a pillow.
(16:00):
I go, God, I hope everything works out with Michael,
and I go to bed. But I'm never gonna call
and go how are you? You know what I mean? Yeah,
I'm never gonna call and go do you need anything?
I'll be in the area. No. I just think fondly
of them and hope things work out, which is other
you hope that other people are taking care of them. Yes,
(16:21):
that's the way I feel about the world. Concerned, not
enough to pick up the phone, because the other thing
is it's like, you know, you pick up the phone
in their static, you can't hear the person on the
other halfway through you go, why did I call? So
that's that's what I feel. Getting actively involved is great
if you really want to be on the phone all
(16:42):
day every day. I think my value to society is
making people laugh. I've keyed in on what that value is,
and I don't think that value is telling people endlessly
about climate change. I don't know what that will do. Yes,
it seems to be an issue, but again, things are
burning and no one really cares. I don't really care,
and I live in l A. Like I watched the
(17:05):
earth burn and I don't really care that much because
we're just programmed as human beings. It's just gonna end,
and however it ends, it ends. But it's like you
drive around, you look at the fire, and I know,
is this a bad boy thing to do? I don't know.
I look at the fire, go U and I keep going.
I don't go we need a plan of action. I
just go, yeah, this is burning. It's it's gonna burn, right,
(17:27):
That's what we're here to do. We're here to kind
of burn it all down in one way or the other. Yeah, yes, yeah,
bad boys are realists about I think that's what it is.
Bad boys are realists. We have to. We gotta. It's
our job to talk about the stuff that really matters,
Like the TikTok houses in the you know, burning man
zoom calls. I mean it's those kids are not phazed.
(17:48):
When the TikTok kids are upset, I'll be upset. The
high pass is still dancing around on the terrace. So
if they're upset, I'll get If they're fine, then why
should I be upsets? We are they're younger than me,
They've got longer to live on the planet than I do.
And when they have, they have more to lose to.
They're like on the fucking the top of the world
(18:09):
right now. I followed no Boo on they're eating in
the deck, and it's usually it's like, hey, the minute
I see them panic. When I go to the Demilio's
page and I see just fires of more door and
they're screaming and running around, I'll go, oh, this has
gotten bad. Yeah, now I'll now, I'll give a show.
I'll care. Okay, we're gonna take a quick break. But
(18:32):
when we come back, Tim and I are going to
fix this problematic piece of advice in real time. When
you think of Trojan brand condoms, what do you think,
what's the first thing that pops into your head? Well,
hopefully you're thinking about condoms because it's in the name,
but also because Trojan has a wide variety of condoms
(18:53):
to satisfy every fit and feel. But Trojan it's all
about pleasure. So you should also think about ubes and vibrators. Now,
I know those are cheeky words to say, right you're
probably grinning right now, you're probably snickering in your car.
Say again what you just said, vibrator, But listen that
I'm serious. Trojan has vibes for her like Ultra touch
and divine that makes solo play or four play more exciting,
(19:15):
and vibrating rings for him and her like tandem and
two in one that can make well, everything more exciting.
But now you're thinking, how can I make this process
a little bit more frictionless? Well, Trojan has silicone based
lube with their Arouses and releases line and water based
loop with their H two O line. And I mean
you already know Trojan has thirty plus varieties of condoms,
(19:35):
so there's a lot to explore there too to find
the right fit for you. So the next time you're
in the condom mile and grabbing a box of Trojan condoms,
make sure to check out Trojan's collection of lubes and
vibes to make the pleasure yours. So then how do
we fix nice guys finished last? What do we I
would just what we do to that? Yeah? I would
(19:56):
amend it and just say nice guys finish right? They
just finished. I mean, whether it's last or not, they
feel like they're gonna get it done. I don't know
how great it's gonna be. I mean it almost sounds worse.
Nice guys, finish like they finish. They don't win. They
don't win. They finished. You finished the marathon. You you
did it. You didn't die of heat stroke during the marathon.
(20:20):
You finished it, You get a medal. There's a picture
on a refrigerator. Oh yeah, that's when my dad ran
the marathon. You know, you talk about it more than
anyone else. You bring it up, you try to inject
it into dinner conferenceation. You remember when I ran the marathon. Yeah, yeah,
John ran the marathon. But yeah, nice guys finished. They're finishers.
They're not winners. They don't they're not place holders. They finish.
It's also like, yeah, it's like you could you could
(20:41):
fun that guy. He's gonna finish for sure. Yeah, he'll
get there. You might not. There's also this idea in
a relationship that you want a relationship with somebody who
might leave right You want you want to feel like
you've gotten something. Everybody wants they feel like they got
a deal. So the idea that you're just with this
nice guy, you can't go anywhere else, can't funk anyone else,
(21:02):
can't find anything else. I think people want to know that.
Like there's excitement and the part of The excitement is
that you know this thing, could you go off the rails,
you know, like you've secured something that other people want.
It's exclusivity. It's what you know. It's the best restaurants,
the best private schools, the best you know clubs, the
(21:24):
best you know these lists that everybody wants to get on.
It's all about there's a finite amount of space and
it's exclusivity, and you're scared of losing it. You're scared
of losing something. I think when you're not scared of
actively losing your partner, maybe you don't value them as much.
You start to devalue them. Yeah that's fair. Okay, Nice guys, finish, Nice,
(21:46):
nice guys, finish. Right, all right, Tim, This is the
part of the show called Worst Advice. UM, I want
to ask you a question. What's the worst advice you've
ever received in your life? Follow your dreams? Really worst advice.
It's the worst advice of my generation. God, um, because
it doesn't mean anything. Advice is is that's very vague
(22:10):
or general is worse than no advice at all. So
when you tell a group of people to follow their dreams,
you're you're making uh, you're you're saying that number one,
that that person or group of people have dreams. Okay, Um,
you're saying that those You're you're giving the people the
benefit of the doubt that they have dreams that they're
(22:31):
um aware of of the full the totality of what
that means to follow a dream. I mean it's linguistically,
it's in the actual wording of what you're telling people
to do. You're saying follow a dream. It would almost
be like telling people, Hey, why don't you follow a ghost?
You know, if you said go and follow a spirit,
(22:54):
people would go, that's insane. I'm not doing that. But instead,
follow your dreams is like a celebrated thing that we
tell children follow your dreams. Um and and and for
most people, a dream is a dream and it should
stay a dream and for the for the people to
choose to make a dream of reality. Um, it is
never a linear path to get there. And I tend
(23:16):
to think none of the people that end up pursuing
what they want to pursue in life need to be
told to do it, and that people will disagree with
me there. And I know people go to the Academy
Awards and these speeches and go. I just want to
thank my fifth grade teacher who told me that I
was really good in the school production of Annie. And
that's why I'm here. That's why I'm here because Mrs
(23:38):
Miller and fifth grade said You're a star. And I
always remember that. That's none of that, is it true.
None of that is true. None of that kept you
going through the pitfalls of what this business is. Um.
And I think what what follow your dreams does for
a lot of people is it makes them, uh have
irrational expect nations, and they start making demands of the
(24:02):
world and uh they a lot of times become bitter,
angry and resentful, uh for no reason. And um. You
know so, I think that as a piece of advice,
not only to me, but given more broadly to my
entire generation, that all the fulfillment in life you have
to get is to be is work. You know, be
(24:23):
a boss, be a girl boss, like be a boss
and own your own thing and Gary vs. Telling everyone
to hustle and grind and be your own boss. You know,
all of this advice, all this kind of horseshit be
an entrepreneur is truly truly bad advice. The people that
are gonna do that don't really need that advice. But
the guys giving that advice to make a lot of
money off people that are, you know, completely incapable of
(24:48):
being their own boss, have none of those skills. But
think if they listen to a tape or read a
book that changes, it does not change. It should be
something like follow your hobbies, like follow your interests, or
just should be what did the The conversation is what
do you want out of life? And if you go
I want to be happy? Then the first thing is
when you get out of the follow your dreams line
(25:08):
right like that, there should be two lines, and it goes,
I want to follow my dreams. Great, I want to
be happy. Let's take the happy people. Let's move them
into this section, um who they just want to be happy?
And let's take the follow your dreams people and then
ask them do you mind if your dreams destroy your life?
And if they go yeah, I kind of mind not,
then go well, you know, follow them at your own
(25:30):
risk because I know many people whose dreams have completely
destroyed their life. What about people who have achieved their dreams?
Do you think they're happy? Yeah? I don't think so,
because it's just you know, it's a moving goalpost. It's
like none of them that I've met, uh there, I mean,
happy is a weird word, right, They're kind of happy,
(25:51):
there's a happiness, they're they're fulfilled momentarily. Um. I think
this idea of choice is this we fetishize the idea
of choice. Everybody's got a choice. I choose, you choose
what do you want? Um. A lot of times I
don't know that you're gonna choose the person you're gonna be.
If you're a highly driven human being that is just
(26:12):
going to be fulfilled in the arena of work, that
is who you're gonna be. But there are other Like
my friend did not choose to be a volunteer fireman
who works occasionally and sits in his backyard and drinks
beer and just loves that life. I don't know if
he chose that that's who he's wired to be. I'm
wired to be the type of person that I am,
And I think there's certain choices you can make. But
this idea that you can just wholesale design yourself is
(26:37):
this very American, very modern idea that I'm just dyning
myself and I'm gonna pick out certain things, and and
and and to an extent, you can do that a
little bit, but we're wired to be certain things. There's
great deal makers, there's great lovers. There's performers, there's businessmen,
there are spies, there are people, there's there's bad boy,
(27:00):
there's nice baby, there's nice guy. So I think that's
what a lot of it is. Yet it's funny, Like
funny you watch a YouTube entrepreneur tutorial or you're watching
a podcast and the first piece of advice they give
you is wake up at five thirty am every day.
Like that's not gonna change ship for eighty percent of
people who are not even wired to wake up that early.
(27:22):
This idea that you can like this being an Olympic
athlete is like a choice. It's like there's choices you
make along the way. But I'm pretty sure that you've
displayed some talent at a very early age towards athletics.
It's very rare that someone who's I don't know, seventeen
and it's never done anything athletic will then go, I'm
gonna be in the Olympics. It's like, no, there's athletes
(27:44):
who can see these little freak kids with you know,
eight packs when they're like six and they're just little
monsters and they get really really good at a sport. Yeah, yeah,
I think I agree with that. So for what would
you what would you? What would you revise it to
follow follow you away from me? If I had to
get kids advice, if I was the principal of a school,
(28:05):
I'd go, okay, get away from me. I think that's
so much of a better line of advice and follow
you dreams. I just go, just get away from me,
and in the way they're gonna find out what they
should be doing. Get out of here, just go try,
just do. Just staring at a guidance counsel poster worse
(28:26):
an eagle and it says, sore, what is that? Just
go get away, get off these school grounds, go live alife.
I'd love to see someone quote they are like named
that as their motivation and their best actor's speech. Yeah,
it was the poster, it was. The speeches were honest.
They would get up and they would go I've never
(28:47):
felt like a human being, and thank god I'm not
one now. My only goal in life has to be
has been to funk as much as I can. And
I've never felt like a human being, and thank god
I have this big house in Malibu and all these
guards and gay it's in money, and thank god I
don't feel like one. Now here's to not being human
and everybody collapsed, and that's the speech. And also get
(29:08):
away from me and get away from me? Right? Perfect?
All right? Tim, lightning around. I'm gonna name two people
of note, and you have to tell me who you'd
rather take advice from. Uh in this in the scenario,
you have to take advice from one of them and
explain to me why you're choosing one or the other. Okay, alright?
(29:29):
Six nine or Betty White? Betty White? Why not a pedophile? Okay,
that's easy. Kanye West or Cardi b Kanye West more talent? Okay,
the cast of the Office or the cast of Breaking Bad,
cast of Breaking Bad better show Bill Gates are one
of the stars of teen Mom, one of the stars
of Team Mom. Why um, they're not going to vaccinate
(29:52):
me against my will? Lauren Gray or Neil Degrass, Tyson
nel de Grass Tyson. I don't know. Lauren Grays pretty
good at dancing on Techno, She's very good, But I
just I'm curious about space. I don't know much about it.
I feel like I would have more more questions for him.
All right, Perfect? And finally, Gary Busey or a mentally
(30:14):
ill child that stabbed their friend to appease the slender Man,
it would be the same advice. So it's either or okay. Perfect.
Before we wrap up today, we like to ask our
guests one final question. We've already talked about the worst
advice you've received, But what is the worst advice you've
ever given? Um? The worst advice I've ever given. That's very,
(30:40):
very interesting because, as you can imagine, so many I
mean to ask me for advice is that's you're already crazy?
But um, I mentioned the person being like, hey, what
do you think? I need a pep talk? What do
you think? But I would say the worst advice I've
ever given, UM is you know when other comedians say
(31:02):
to me like, well how do I do it? And
I just go just be funny, which is not the case.
I'm just be funny, and the real advice is like
just be They're the real advice is like, just be
uncompromising in your pursuit of of of of of of
getting your name out there and and and succeeding at this,
and and and being funny is a huge part of that.
(31:24):
But just being funny and waiting or hoping that someone's
gonna notice or care is is not at all what
the game is. The game is, you know, to just
be really devoted to making people care that you're funny
or making people care that whatever talent you bring to
the I think that the worst advice that I've given,
(31:45):
and we just give it because it's easy, right, it's easy.
Just just be funny, man, Just be funny. You just
go that. But that's not really what That's not really
the advice. The advice is like, you know, just be
unwilling to fucking lose in that arena, Like be unwilling
to not you know, put yourself out there constantly all
the time. And that's the advice you don't want to
(32:08):
give two people because we all want to just believe
that the talent rules to day are that being funny
is the most important thing. There's a there's a nice
um you know, kind of comforting thought there, but it's
not accurate, it's not realistic. So, you know, the worst advice,
I'm the same as follow your dreams. Yeah, just just
(32:30):
be funny, just follow your dreams, out of your out
of your ship. But like just just you know, the
better advice is like blackmail the CEO of Fox. Yeah, exactly,
Like set up honey pot operation and get a few executives.
I mean, I don't know, funny a lot of everything
you can. I've told so many of my friends have
(32:52):
become prostitutes, and I believe it's a good thing to do. Truly, truly,
I truly believe it's a great Like if I was
a young man or woman with a great body, I
would be in in a state in bel air right now.
Baar ass? Why not? That's my studying abroad. Okay, yeah,
I mean that might be the worst advice, but it is.
(33:14):
It's probably not. It's that it's not good advice When
I give it to people at dinner in front of
their significant others, it's it's a little awkward. You know.
I want to thank you Tim Dylan for joining us.
I appreciate it. Um. I think you know, I made
a pretty compelling case for why bad boys are completely underrated.
(33:37):
But honestly, you know, it sounds like being a total
piece of ship is working out great for you. So yes,
you know, I don't really know what to think anymore,
you know. Yes, well, I I think neither one of
us made that case or even the case against it.
But I think that if people leave this, they'll they'll
understand that there's there's good and bad. There's good and
being bad. That's what it's all about. Yeah, Yes, there's
(33:59):
good and being bad. That's what we've learned today. Yes,
do you want to plug anything? Yeah? I mean Tim
Dillon Show on all the podcast platforms and on YouTube
and whatever, and Tim J. Dillon on all the social media.
I appreciate it, man, Thank you, thank this was awesome.
Oh please anytime, Thanks so much. All right, guys, thanks
(34:20):
for listening. Man, you have a trouble with life, Well
let me give you some of fun. The Pleasure Is
Ours is a production of I Heeart Radio and Trojan Brand,
hosted by me Cody co. The podcast is executive produced
by Ethan Fixel, produced and written by Jonathan Grimm, written
by David Doot, and engineered, edited and mixed by Matt Stillo.
(34:43):
Our theme song was composed by me CODYK with additional
music by Brad Kemp at Second Bedroom Studio. If you
haven't already subscribed, rated, or reviewed The Pleasure is Ours,
please do so on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast,
or wherever you get your podcast. Baby, thanks again for
tuning into the Pleasure as Ours, presented by Trojan brand Condoms.
(35:06):
That's a wrap for our episode, and also you should
be wrapping it up in the bedroom. I'm talking, of course,
about your painis You know, when you're out there doing
your thing, you've got to be safe and you've gotta
get a condom that works for you. If you ever
hear a guy complaining about condoms, it's likely because he's
been uncomfortable using the wrong fit. He probably doesn't even
know that Trojan has over thirty different size and shape
(35:27):
varieties to solve all condom fit issues. So pick up
a box of Trojan Condoms wherever you get your condoms,
and maybe even a second box that you've been wanting
to try out. Look at you, you fucking sex lord.
Go for it, buddy, See you next time.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!