April 13, 2022 • 28 mins
Welcoming Chris Garcia to The Pod Club! In this week’s episode, comedian and new dad Chris Garcia joins host Jo Piazza to discuss what it's been like to unravel the magical world of children’s musician Raffi in his new show, Finding Raffi. Like Beyonce and Madonna, Raffi is a one name wonder. And for those who do not recognize him by his single moniker, you will most certainly recognize him by his music: Baby Beluga or Banana Phone, anyone? Chris shares his experience diving back into Raffi’s music as a father and how it has connected him to his family, brought him comfort in uncertain times, and taught him just how complex and impactful something as simple as children’s music can really be. Jo and Chris also discuss his 2019 podcast, Scattered, and how making these shows have helped Chris reflect on pivotal moments in his life.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's uh black Buck and Bobby saying, it's a podcast
about podcasts about podcasts. Can you sing it backass backasts, Hi, guys, podcasts,
(00:21):
It's a podcast about podcast about podcast Welcome back to
the pod club. So Ever since I became a mom
about five years ago, I've really enjoyed listening to shows
that helped me connect with my kids as a parent,
but also shows that helped me figure out how to
(00:41):
do this weird parenting thing in the world. And it
is being a parent is strange and no one tells
you exactly how to do it. Now there's podcasts that
are four kids. One of those shows came out pretty recently,
and I've got to say, I freaking binge this thing
so hard. It's called Ending Raffie. It is all about
(01:02):
iconic children singer Rafie, the one named Wonder. It's about
Raphie's music, his life, and his philosophy about how adults
should connect with the little people in their world. The
show is hosted by comedian and relatively new dad Chris Carcia.
The two of us sat down to talk about what
it was like to get to chat with the one
and only Raffie and how podcasts have helped Chris understand
(01:26):
and connect with his own family. Hey Chris, Hey, how
are you welcome to the pod club? Thank you, thanks
for having me. So I have been listening to a
lot of Finding Raffie, and what I have to tell
our audience right off the bat is that listening to
this podcast is gonna make you real happy. It is
(01:51):
gonna make you smile. You say this in the show,
but I think it's because so many of us just
have such warm feelings and warm memories associated with Raffie
that it's impossible not to conjure all of those while
listening to your podcast. So I I was so just
I had this big smile on my face when I
(02:12):
was driving around listening to Finding Raffae today. Well, that's
so nice of you to say thank you. Um. Yeah,
I mean he's he's written some of the happiest songs ever,
you know, and they come from a very genuine place,
And in just talking to him and getting to know him,
it's almost you know, we're living in kind of dark times,
but it's almost been like a salve to my heart
(02:33):
and my life to be able to, you know, learn
about these songs and listen to him and share them
with my um now almost one year old daughter. It's
been such a cool experience getting to know him at
this time of my life. Yeah, yeah, I was gonna
I was gonna ask how old your daughter Sonny is,
because you you talk about her a lot in the show.
I want to start by asking you, do you have
(02:53):
a favorite Raffi song? Man, That's a really tough question. Um,
it kind of changes from time to time. Right now,
I like Thanks a Lot. I find it very soothing
and very reflective, but like Baby Bluga is just so powerful.
It's such a good catchy song. I wonder if I'm
(03:14):
growing was an early favorite because I've never heard a
song like that that was so vulnerable and pretty that
kind of sounded like it was for adults. Right now,
go with Thanks a Lot. Yeah, I feel like Baby
Beluga is an easy one to call a favorite. Yeah.
I love a Banana Phone. I have to say Banana Phone.
It's still slaps. It is an all time banger in
(03:34):
my book, from the very beginning that it's like this
is a anthem. The story behind its really interesting. We
covered in the podcast, but he kind of walked away
from children's music for a while. And that's the song
that came back with, and it's like, Wow, Ralf is back.
It's it's kind of such a catchy Rivers Cuomo of
(03:59):
Weeezler Walked Away and an Island in the Sun is
the song that he came back with, and you're like, there,
there's our guy right there. He's back. He's back. I
liked what you said in the first episode about how
it does feel like Raffie, and I feel like this
podcast Finding Raffie is exactly what we need right now
(04:20):
in this kind of dumpster fire of two years, because
his songs and his story are filled with hope and
togetherness and he really does you You hit the nail
right on the head when you said he slows I
think he slows down time, and I think that's something
that we all kind of need right now. I mean,
you're right, I've seen him slow down time. And like
(04:42):
my like Sonny will have like a fit or she'll um,
you know, become cranky or something, and I will put
on Banana Phone or Baby Bluega in the car and
she'll just like become completely silent. It's like this magical thing,
and I think it becomes it comes from such a
beautiful place in his heart and he's so genuine and
(05:03):
he really believes these things. And I think children understand that,
Like he's tapped into that. I mean, it's tapped into
me as an adult. It's just especially during these trying times,
to talk about respect and to gatherness and play and
silliness and like taking care of the environment and meaning well,
(05:26):
all these things that we have lost track of. He's
been you know, talking about since and and and consistently,
and um, it's just you're right, it's it's perfect for
right now, even listening to it myself, and I'm like,
I feel nice, Yeah, I just I just want some
niceness in the world is what I want right now.
(05:48):
And you you say this too. And obviously the podcast
does a lot more than just talk about the joy
and the hope that Raffie brings to the world. But
you say, there's so much more to Raffie than we
might think. What is that and what are some of
the things that you dive into in this podcast. Well,
just like anybody, Um, he's a regular person that's complicated
(06:10):
and comes from complicated and you know, oftentimes trying like
roots and so one thing that I um felt right
away from him is like me. He's like the child
of immigrants that fled Um. Like my parents fled Cuba
in the sixties Um and his parents they fled Turkish
occupied Cairo. There Armenian and he, like me, lives between
(06:36):
worlds like a lot of us do. Like he's he's
Armenian live grew up in Canada, and I'm Cuban American
growing up in Los Angeles, And so he knows what
it's like to feel others or feel like you never
quite belong, like you have one foot in one world
and one foot in the other, and like any of us,
(06:56):
just searching for self and a lot of this come
from kind of a dark place or trauma, and he's
just trying to process it and you could kind of
feel it in his music. Um, And just like me,
it's so crazy how much I didn't expect to relate
to him so much, but like, you know, after college
(07:17):
and me, like, he's kind of this hippie guy applying
his wares, like his hair grows out so long, he's
got a huge beard, and his parents are like, who's
this weird beard? Oh? That we raised in this traditional
Armenian household. I was the same way where I was like,
I've got long here, I'm in a band, and like
it's something that a lot of us, um you know,
people like first generation, second generation children of immigrants have
(07:42):
or anybody. Actually it's like the struggle of finding your
own person based on where you come from and where
your family comes from. And I thought that was really
interesting and like really relatable. That's just like one of
them anyways that I feel like, well, I had no
idea because this these songs are so happy. They feel
like they come from a happy machine, or like there's
(08:02):
some sort of algorithm that just created this, and like, no,
this is a thoughtful person processing the difficulties of his
life and sharing what he's learned with others and hoping
that they feel better about themselves too. Well. And you
you got to interview him, and I thought it was
so powerful when he said, you know, he didn't always
(08:23):
have the easiest childhood. You know, there were times when
he was as a child, and how what he desperately
wanted as a kid was to be respected, and that
that is what so many kids want. They want to
feel respected, they want to feel like a person in
the world. And his songs try to convey at very
(08:46):
early on, actually, I sort of steep myself in an
informal education of what is childhood? Who are these impressionable
young beings who happened to be fun and spontaneous and
at times more than we can handle? Who are these beings?
And what do they need? And so on? You know,
(09:07):
And I think I gained a sense of my own
self as a child. You know, what did I feel
when I was younger? And so on? And it was
not all rosie for me in my childhood? Mocked and
humiliated at times, and I was hit and I couldn't
square that with the fact that I knew I was loved,
(09:29):
So why didn't I feel respected for who I felt
I was? Respect This is a word that kept coming
up over and over again in my conversations with Raffie.
It's a word he studied, dissected, even meditated on. It's
not enough to say we need love, as the Beatles
(09:50):
song said, all you need is love, which is true?
What kind of love do we need? And the word
respectful came up. It's so powerful to even look back
at our own lives and be like, was I really respected?
Like when I when we you know, we're talking about respect.
(10:10):
I had no idea if I was respected as a
child or not. I had to ask my mom about it,
because you don't really know, like you really think of
respect is like you respect your elders and not as
a two way street, you know. And the fact that he,
you know, grew up feeling disrespected and um now is
a complete champion of it. I mean, that's pretty much
(10:32):
the theme of the entire podcast. I feel like it's
really unifying, and I feel like everyone could use a
little more respect, you know, like we can even show respects.
Sometimes I find myself unintentionally disrespecting my own daughter in
a way that's like even the smallest things like I'll
just like pick up and grab her and change her,
sort of being like hey, I'm gonna pick you up
(10:55):
and then I'm going to change you because um, I
think you need to be changed. And and but and still,
like I've just been thinking more of like how I
would want to be handled. Kids are just entering this
world and they're being yanked around and thrown on a
table and having their diapers changed. It's caused me like
to slow down and thinking about every intention that I
have when when you know, I'm with my daughter and
(11:18):
other people now too. Not that I'm like, I'm straight
up not a disrespectful person, but I've thought of ways
where like, oh, I could actually be more respectful in
these ways. And it's it just it feels really nice,
you know, and kids pick up on it. They really
kids are born so smart and they absorbed so much
(11:38):
that I just want to nurture my daughter and you know,
raise her in a respectful way, um, and then in
turn she would respect other people. It's really nice, exactly exactly. Yeah,
I love and I love that, you know, doing this
deep dive un Raffie helped you reflect on that and
helped you reflect on what kind of father you wanted
(11:59):
to be in order to raise the kind of kid
that you want to raise. I feel so blessed for this.
And I'm not one of those people that uses the
word blessed all the time. I don't really throw that
word around, but for this podcast to recur during my
first year of fatherhood has just been incredible, Like it
has been an incredible experience to talk to Raffie and
(12:20):
reflect on the true meaning of his music and his
life and his legacy, but also to talk to all
the experts that are kind of have analyzed his music
or know him or his causes and stuff. Um, I
feel like it's changed the trajectory of my parenting, which
is just it's been really wonderful and I've been reflecting
a lot about it because it's Sunny's first birthday on Sunday,
(12:43):
and I feel like I've been given a gift by
being around Raffy's presence and just like going on this
journey with him. You know, I feel like I've been
very fortunate for that because when you're a parent, I
don't know if you have kids, but that first year,
I don't know. Yeah, oh yeah, I mean like you're
a mess. You're like you have no idea what's going
(13:04):
on your brain. You're not really thinking that much. You're
just kind of reacting to fires that are happening all
the time. And this has given me an opportunity to
just kind of step back for a second. Just that's
all you really need, is like a brief second to
you know, ponder all these things. Uh. And it's been
really wonderful. Yeah, here we are awesome. Well, it's so
(13:32):
nice to see you and um talk to you Ralphie,
thank you so much for making the time. Let me
first ask you, what is your daughter's name. Oh, my
daughter's name is Sunny Sonny, Yeah, beautiful. We named her
after the song by Bobby heb We named her after
that song. Well, let's dedicate this whole podcast series too
(13:55):
Sunny and her bright future, because that's what we all
want for that old Did you have a favorite part
of this podcast, I'd have to say my two favorite
moments so far are when he dedicated the podcast to
(14:16):
my daughter. Like I almost wept, because not that he's
a deity or anything, but like, who would even even
think of doing something like that? You know, is still
like I almost wept, Chris. I was in my car
going to the post office and I had to pull
over because I got really cheery. When he dedicated the
(14:36):
podcast to your daughter. I couldn't believe it. I was like,
oh my gosh. And then he met like he met
Sonny via zoom and we brought Sonny into this studio,
and like the way their faces lit up and the
way like it's like it's almost like he transformed in
a weird way, Like it's like he became like the
(14:57):
the singer on stage and they just shared this really
beautiful moment that I just I think I'll never forget. Um,
like how often it was. It's like meeting Big Bird
or Permit the Frog or something like that when you're
a little kid. And um, you know, I'm not sure
she'll remember it, or even he'll remember it, because I'm
sure he meets kids all the time, but I feel
like you would. But seeing that in that connection, um,
(15:22):
it was. It's it was so palpable for me, just
them looking at each other through a screen, which is
so impersonal, but I was like, there's a connection here.
You know, these we carry these things our whole lives,
these powerful moments, um. And yeah, then you get to
be the person that did that. That's just that's just
(15:43):
so magical, it really is. You know, sometimes they say like,
don't meet your heroes, but this was a cool like
like I got to meet a hero like that was
a hero, you know, and it was this is the
right hero. Yeah, totally cool at this crazy time in
my life. And I'm glad that people are enjoying it
(16:04):
and people are kind of coming out of the woodwork,
being like I haven't thought of rapping in such a
long time. Now that I'm thinking about him, Wow, what
impact he's on my life? And get to learn this
all this behind the scenes stuff that's just so interesting
because you just think, like Kermit the Frog is just
a frog that's sitting there and just says all this
amazing stuff. But so much like love and heart and
(16:25):
thought goes into everything, and especially with him, he's such
an intentional person um and so specific about everything he does.
It's been very inspired. Well, I want to switch gears
(17:05):
for a quick second and talk about your other podcast
that I also recently started listening to, Scattered, that you
did in nineteen with w n y C. Can you
tell our audience a little bit about that. Yeah, So
I'm a I'm a comedian and my parents their refugees
from Cuba, and UM, a lot of my acts centered
(17:27):
around my dad, my relationship with my dad, and funny
stories about my dad. And then in about two thousand seven,
he got Alzheimer's disease, from which he died from ten
years later. In and I found out. I was just
recording a random set for w n y C for
their show Two Dope Queens, and it was a day
(17:49):
I found out my dad only had a couple of
days to live, and I almost canceled the performance, but
I just I just did the show and it like
I just poured my heart out. And w and Y
You was really moved by the performance, and a week
later asked if, like, would you be interested in doing
a podcast or anything like that, and um, my dad
had died just a couple of days prior to that.
(18:11):
I was like, I am, I'm in no head space
to make a podcast right now because my father had
just died. And they said, um, anytime. You know, we're
big fans, so starting to hear about your dad. If
you ever go on the road or want to record anything, like,
we'll come to you and we'll record. And I was like, oh,
that's really nice. Yeah. So six months later, I'm on
(18:34):
the road and I'm in Miami. Um my mom happens
to be there, um, dealing with her her parents had
also just passed, and she was like taking care of
their house and getting it ready to sell and stuff.
And I called w and Y C and I was like, Hey,
I don't know what, but like, what's happening, but my
mom's at the house my parents immigrated to. Do you
want to record me and my mom, and so they
(18:56):
flew to to Miami and we spoke to my mom
for like seven hours, and it was this incredible conversation.
And within that conversation, UM, my mom revealed that my
dad's dying wish was to be scattered off the coast
of Cuba, and she had she did not want to
do it. She was like, I am not ever going
back to Cuba. I don't know my dad who wanted this.
(19:19):
In our conversation, I pushed back and I was like,
if that's dad's dying wish, we have to do it.
So this the podcast grew pretty much from that moment,
and it's it's a deep dive into my my dad's
past and my parents beautiful relationship. They're married for fifty
three years, and I UM, since my dad had gotten
(19:39):
Alzheimer's and I didn't really get to know him that much.
I have those conversations that you have while you're an
adult with your parents. Because he had Alzheimer's, I didn't
know everything about him. And in this podcast, we go
and I learned everything about my dad's life and um,
eventually my mom and I go back to Cuba to
scatter his ashes and we recorded the whole thing, and um,
(20:02):
I'll probably never be prouder of anything in my whole life,
and then being able to share my mom and dad's
life and their story together. It's been two and a
half years since the day I bombed the eulogy at
my dad's funeral. I've rewritten that moment in my head
so many times. A single dignified tear rolls down my cheek.
(20:25):
The crowd is hushed, utterly transfixed. I opened with a
story about my dad, like how he secretly did my
science projects for me, so I was the only seventh
grader with a workable solution for preventing another Exxon Valdi's
oil spill. The crowd laughs. Then I switched gears. I
talked about what my dad sacrificed for our family, what
(20:48):
he meant to us. People start to cry, but then
I close on a joke so everyone could have a
final laugh through their tears. Afterwards, everyone lines up to
tell me how much better my speech was than my sisters,
um w and my ces. Amazing and it was just
(21:10):
such a It's like this, I don't know how these happened.
These things happened at just particular big, huge, moments of
my life that I get to capture them. But the
fact that I I was grieving, but I got to
express myself um and show all the love I had
for my dad um in this podcast was just a
really it was really a special thing. And that's how
I feel about finding Rafy too, Like the big my
(21:34):
dad died and it just happened to be captured on
podcasts and then, you know, my my daughter was born
four years later on the day after my dad died,
and so like, and it's it was so insane, um.
And then to be able to kind of go through
this another crazy stage of my life and kind of
(21:56):
record you know, have it recorded and documented, and to
do a new podcast has been I don't know. It
feels weird, like how are these things happening? It's like
nothing else happens for a while. I don't know if
my heart can take another podcast, and maybe I'll wait
a couple of years. Maybe, but yeah, so I don't know.
(22:17):
I'm I'm a comedian and stuff, and I'm funny for
sure because it's what I do for a living. But
buried down in here somewhere, there's a big heart and
it happens that comes it comes through in the podcast format.
What I what I do want to tell our audience
is that I think Scattered and Finding Raffie are beautiful
(22:38):
bookends to each other too, because it's Scattered, you're on
this journey as a son to discover your dad and
who he was, and with Finding Raffie, you're really on
a journey as a father. So I don't think that
there's enough podcasts out there for dads to really come
(23:00):
to terms with what what fatherhood means and how they
how they got there, how they found their identity as
a dad. There's a lot out there for moms, and
so I just recommended both of your podcast to my
husband and he's going to start listening to them. But
I can't recommend them enough for for anyone that wants
to go through that journey and see see what it's
like to rebuild your identity over and over again, because
(23:23):
that is what happens when you become a parent. You're
rebuilding your identity. You become a completely different person. Well,
thank you for saying that. You've got me tearing up now,
but um, it's really um. You do rebuild yourself and
in the moment you become a father or a mother,
or you think of your parents like immediately and you
(23:45):
think of everything about your whole relationship, what you have
done to them, what they've done to you, and in
a way, becoming a father, I get to love my
dad all over again, which is it's really wheat and
I get to love I get to love her for
both of us, and um, and it's really kind of
(24:07):
and I get you know, it's so funny because my
dad and I look like a lot alike and sunny
and I look a lot alike, so she it's crazy.
I don't know what it is, but a lot of
thick eyebrows in this world. And but I just staring
into um, my daughter's eyes and just looking at her.
(24:28):
I get to give her all the love that maybe
my dad didn't have as a kid. Or I get
to like repair things from the past of whoever along
my family line had had a tough life. I get
to um, I get to put all that love, all
that missing love. I get to give it to her.
And I think that's just really beautiful. And um, I mean,
(24:51):
life is crazy. But but to come from something so
sad as the death of my dad and experience the
joy of fatherhood. Um, it's just been it's just been
a beautiful Um, it's been a beautiful journey and I'm glad.
You know, I was nervous about becoming a dad, but
as soon as I saw her, I knew, Um, I
(25:12):
knew I was gonna love it and that I would
never feel so much love in my life. And it's
been really cool. Yeah, it's pretty cool. I like it.
I like it. I thought I would like I do.
It's wow. It's hard. It's hard. It's a living nightmare.
A lot of the time. It's just completely I'm not
gonna lie, it's nuts, not far from a miserable experience,
(25:38):
but it's also uh yeah, but it's also so so
wonderful and you'll never feel them I'm out of love
at least personally. I know it's not for everybody, but
for me, it's just been such a lovely experience. Thank you,
thank you, Thank you for being on the pod Club, Chris,
and thank you for making this wonder well podcasts that
(26:00):
I want everyone to listen to right now. Well, thank
you so much for talking to me about it and
um and scattered and everything. But yeah, everyone, please listen
to finding Raffie. Um, I think it will make your
day a little better. So water, little rest make you.
(26:26):
And what she tered, She's fighting the duck and the
fox so bad. She ate the bog and she said,
k he's kid. Yes, that's it for the pod Club today.
(26:48):
Emotions got high at the end because Chris's show really
does evoke so many messy but also pretty beautiful and
vulnerable feelings about parenthood and family. Finding Raffie has got
something for everyone, not just parents, but for anyone who
listened to Raffie growing up, and anyone who wishes they'd
listen to Raffie growing up. It's not too late. You
(27:09):
can listen to Raffie right now. But after you do that,
go and listen to Finding Raffie. All of the episodes
are out now and you can just fly right through them.
You will, you will, And if you want to get
even more emotional afterwards, definitely listen to Chris's other show, Scattered.
You're not going to regret it. The Pod Club is
hosted by me Joe Piazza. Our executive producers are Me
(27:34):
Again and Emily Maronoff. Our producers are Mary Do and
Darby Masters. Our associate producer is Lauren Philip. Our theme
and additional music was composed by Aaron Kaufman. Aaron Kaufman
is also our consulting producer and special thanks to Nikki Tour.
He was just a wonderful human being who I like
to think at the end of episodes the certainly instant
(28:08):
stain the b
It's uh black Buck and Bobby saying, it's a podcast
about podcasts about podcasts. Can you sing it backass backasts, Hi, guys, podcasts,
(00:21):
It's a podcast about podcast about podcast Welcome back to
the pod club. So Ever since I became a mom
about five years ago, I've really enjoyed listening to shows
that helped me connect with my kids as a parent,
but also shows that helped me figure out how to
(00:41):
do this weird parenting thing in the world. And it
is being a parent is strange and no one tells
you exactly how to do it. Now there's podcasts that
are four kids. One of those shows came out pretty recently,
and I've got to say, I freaking binge this thing
so hard. It's called Ending Raffie. It is all about
(01:02):
iconic children singer Rafie, the one named Wonder. It's about
Raphie's music, his life, and his philosophy about how adults
should connect with the little people in their world. The
show is hosted by comedian and relatively new dad Chris Carcia.
The two of us sat down to talk about what
it was like to get to chat with the one
and only Raffie and how podcasts have helped Chris understand
(01:26):
and connect with his own family. Hey Chris, Hey, how
are you welcome to the pod club? Thank you, thanks
for having me. So I have been listening to a
lot of Finding Raffie, and what I have to tell
our audience right off the bat is that listening to
this podcast is gonna make you real happy. It is
(01:51):
gonna make you smile. You say this in the show,
but I think it's because so many of us just
have such warm feelings and warm memories associated with Raffie
that it's impossible not to conjure all of those while
listening to your podcast. So I I was so just
I had this big smile on my face when I
(02:12):
was driving around listening to Finding Raffae today. Well, that's
so nice of you to say thank you. Um. Yeah,
I mean he's he's written some of the happiest songs ever,
you know, and they come from a very genuine place,
And in just talking to him and getting to know him,
it's almost you know, we're living in kind of dark times,
but it's almost been like a salve to my heart
(02:33):
and my life to be able to, you know, learn
about these songs and listen to him and share them
with my um now almost one year old daughter. It's
been such a cool experience getting to know him at
this time of my life. Yeah, yeah, I was gonna
I was gonna ask how old your daughter Sonny is,
because you you talk about her a lot in the show.
I want to start by asking you, do you have
(02:53):
a favorite Raffi song? Man, That's a really tough question. Um,
it kind of changes from time to time. Right now,
I like Thanks a Lot. I find it very soothing
and very reflective, but like Baby Bluga is just so powerful.
It's such a good catchy song. I wonder if I'm
(03:14):
growing was an early favorite because I've never heard a
song like that that was so vulnerable and pretty that
kind of sounded like it was for adults. Right now,
go with Thanks a Lot. Yeah, I feel like Baby
Beluga is an easy one to call a favorite. Yeah.
I love a Banana Phone. I have to say Banana Phone.
It's still slaps. It is an all time banger in
(03:34):
my book, from the very beginning that it's like this
is a anthem. The story behind its really interesting. We
covered in the podcast, but he kind of walked away
from children's music for a while. And that's the song
that came back with, and it's like, Wow, Ralf is back.
It's it's kind of such a catchy Rivers Cuomo of
(03:59):
Weeezler Walked Away and an Island in the Sun is
the song that he came back with, and you're like, there,
there's our guy right there. He's back. He's back. I
liked what you said in the first episode about how
it does feel like Raffie, and I feel like this
podcast Finding Raffie is exactly what we need right now
(04:20):
in this kind of dumpster fire of two years, because
his songs and his story are filled with hope and
togetherness and he really does you You hit the nail
right on the head when you said he slows I
think he slows down time, and I think that's something
that we all kind of need right now. I mean,
you're right, I've seen him slow down time. And like
(04:42):
my like Sonny will have like a fit or she'll um,
you know, become cranky or something, and I will put
on Banana Phone or Baby Bluega in the car and
she'll just like become completely silent. It's like this magical thing,
and I think it becomes it comes from such a
beautiful place in his heart and he's so genuine and
(05:03):
he really believes these things. And I think children understand that,
Like he's tapped into that. I mean, it's tapped into
me as an adult. It's just especially during these trying times,
to talk about respect and to gatherness and play and
silliness and like taking care of the environment and meaning well,
(05:26):
all these things that we have lost track of. He's
been you know, talking about since and and and consistently,
and um, it's just you're right, it's it's perfect for
right now, even listening to it myself, and I'm like,
I feel nice, Yeah, I just I just want some
niceness in the world is what I want right now.
(05:48):
And you you say this too. And obviously the podcast
does a lot more than just talk about the joy
and the hope that Raffie brings to the world. But
you say, there's so much more to Raffie than we
might think. What is that and what are some of
the things that you dive into in this podcast. Well,
just like anybody, Um, he's a regular person that's complicated
(06:10):
and comes from complicated and you know, oftentimes trying like
roots and so one thing that I um felt right
away from him is like me. He's like the child
of immigrants that fled Um. Like my parents fled Cuba
in the sixties Um and his parents they fled Turkish
occupied Cairo. There Armenian and he, like me, lives between
(06:36):
worlds like a lot of us do. Like he's he's
Armenian live grew up in Canada, and I'm Cuban American
growing up in Los Angeles, And so he knows what
it's like to feel others or feel like you never
quite belong, like you have one foot in one world
and one foot in the other, and like any of us,
(06:56):
just searching for self and a lot of this come
from kind of a dark place or trauma, and he's
just trying to process it and you could kind of
feel it in his music. Um, And just like me,
it's so crazy how much I didn't expect to relate
to him so much, but like, you know, after college
(07:17):
and me, like, he's kind of this hippie guy applying
his wares, like his hair grows out so long, he's
got a huge beard, and his parents are like, who's
this weird beard? Oh? That we raised in this traditional
Armenian household. I was the same way where I was like,
I've got long here, I'm in a band, and like
it's something that a lot of us, um you know,
people like first generation, second generation children of immigrants have
(07:42):
or anybody. Actually it's like the struggle of finding your
own person based on where you come from and where
your family comes from. And I thought that was really
interesting and like really relatable. That's just like one of
them anyways that I feel like, well, I had no
idea because this these songs are so happy. They feel
like they come from a happy machine, or like there's
(08:02):
some sort of algorithm that just created this, and like, no,
this is a thoughtful person processing the difficulties of his
life and sharing what he's learned with others and hoping
that they feel better about themselves too. Well. And you
you got to interview him, and I thought it was
so powerful when he said, you know, he didn't always
(08:23):
have the easiest childhood. You know, there were times when
he was as a child, and how what he desperately
wanted as a kid was to be respected, and that
that is what so many kids want. They want to
feel respected, they want to feel like a person in
the world. And his songs try to convey at very
(08:46):
early on, actually, I sort of steep myself in an
informal education of what is childhood? Who are these impressionable
young beings who happened to be fun and spontaneous and
at times more than we can handle? Who are these beings?
And what do they need? And so on? You know,
(09:07):
And I think I gained a sense of my own
self as a child. You know, what did I feel
when I was younger? And so on? And it was
not all rosie for me in my childhood? Mocked and
humiliated at times, and I was hit and I couldn't
square that with the fact that I knew I was loved,
(09:29):
So why didn't I feel respected for who I felt
I was? Respect This is a word that kept coming
up over and over again in my conversations with Raffie.
It's a word he studied, dissected, even meditated on. It's
not enough to say we need love, as the Beatles
(09:50):
song said, all you need is love, which is true?
What kind of love do we need? And the word
respectful came up. It's so powerful to even look back
at our own lives and be like, was I really respected?
Like when I when we you know, we're talking about respect.
(10:10):
I had no idea if I was respected as a
child or not. I had to ask my mom about it,
because you don't really know, like you really think of
respect is like you respect your elders and not as
a two way street, you know. And the fact that he,
you know, grew up feeling disrespected and um now is
a complete champion of it. I mean, that's pretty much
(10:32):
the theme of the entire podcast. I feel like it's
really unifying, and I feel like everyone could use a
little more respect, you know, like we can even show respects.
Sometimes I find myself unintentionally disrespecting my own daughter in
a way that's like even the smallest things like I'll
just like pick up and grab her and change her,
sort of being like hey, I'm gonna pick you up
(10:55):
and then I'm going to change you because um, I
think you need to be changed. And and but and still,
like I've just been thinking more of like how I
would want to be handled. Kids are just entering this
world and they're being yanked around and thrown on a
table and having their diapers changed. It's caused me like
to slow down and thinking about every intention that I
have when when you know, I'm with my daughter and
(11:18):
other people now too. Not that I'm like, I'm straight
up not a disrespectful person, but I've thought of ways
where like, oh, I could actually be more respectful in
these ways. And it's it just it feels really nice,
you know, and kids pick up on it. They really
kids are born so smart and they absorbed so much
(11:38):
that I just want to nurture my daughter and you know,
raise her in a respectful way, um, and then in
turn she would respect other people. It's really nice, exactly exactly. Yeah,
I love and I love that, you know, doing this
deep dive un Raffie helped you reflect on that and
helped you reflect on what kind of father you wanted
(11:59):
to be in order to raise the kind of kid
that you want to raise. I feel so blessed for this.
And I'm not one of those people that uses the
word blessed all the time. I don't really throw that
word around, but for this podcast to recur during my
first year of fatherhood has just been incredible, Like it
has been an incredible experience to talk to Raffie and
(12:20):
reflect on the true meaning of his music and his
life and his legacy, but also to talk to all
the experts that are kind of have analyzed his music
or know him or his causes and stuff. Um, I
feel like it's changed the trajectory of my parenting, which
is just it's been really wonderful and I've been reflecting
a lot about it because it's Sunny's first birthday on Sunday,
(12:43):
and I feel like I've been given a gift by
being around Raffy's presence and just like going on this
journey with him. You know, I feel like I've been
very fortunate for that because when you're a parent, I
don't know if you have kids, but that first year,
I don't know. Yeah, oh yeah, I mean like you're
a mess. You're like you have no idea what's going
(13:04):
on your brain. You're not really thinking that much. You're
just kind of reacting to fires that are happening all
the time. And this has given me an opportunity to
just kind of step back for a second. Just that's
all you really need, is like a brief second to
you know, ponder all these things. Uh. And it's been
really wonderful. Yeah, here we are awesome. Well, it's so
(13:32):
nice to see you and um talk to you Ralphie,
thank you so much for making the time. Let me
first ask you, what is your daughter's name. Oh, my
daughter's name is Sunny Sonny, Yeah, beautiful. We named her
after the song by Bobby heb We named her after
that song. Well, let's dedicate this whole podcast series too
(13:55):
Sunny and her bright future, because that's what we all
want for that old Did you have a favorite part
of this podcast, I'd have to say my two favorite
moments so far are when he dedicated the podcast to
(14:16):
my daughter. Like I almost wept, because not that he's
a deity or anything, but like, who would even even
think of doing something like that? You know, is still
like I almost wept, Chris. I was in my car
going to the post office and I had to pull
over because I got really cheery. When he dedicated the
(14:36):
podcast to your daughter. I couldn't believe it. I was like,
oh my gosh. And then he met like he met
Sonny via zoom and we brought Sonny into this studio,
and like the way their faces lit up and the
way like it's like it's almost like he transformed in
a weird way, Like it's like he became like the
(14:57):
the singer on stage and they just shared this really
beautiful moment that I just I think I'll never forget. Um,
like how often it was. It's like meeting Big Bird
or Permit the Frog or something like that when you're
a little kid. And um, you know, I'm not sure
she'll remember it, or even he'll remember it, because I'm
sure he meets kids all the time, but I feel
like you would. But seeing that in that connection, um,
(15:22):
it was. It's it was so palpable for me, just
them looking at each other through a screen, which is
so impersonal, but I was like, there's a connection here.
You know, these we carry these things our whole lives,
these powerful moments, um. And yeah, then you get to
be the person that did that. That's just that's just
(15:43):
so magical, it really is. You know, sometimes they say like,
don't meet your heroes, but this was a cool like
like I got to meet a hero like that was
a hero, you know, and it was this is the
right hero. Yeah, totally cool at this crazy time in
my life. And I'm glad that people are enjoying it
(16:04):
and people are kind of coming out of the woodwork,
being like I haven't thought of rapping in such a
long time. Now that I'm thinking about him, Wow, what
impact he's on my life? And get to learn this
all this behind the scenes stuff that's just so interesting
because you just think, like Kermit the Frog is just
a frog that's sitting there and just says all this
amazing stuff. But so much like love and heart and
(16:25):
thought goes into everything, and especially with him, he's such
an intentional person um and so specific about everything he does.
It's been very inspired. Well, I want to switch gears
(17:05):
for a quick second and talk about your other podcast
that I also recently started listening to, Scattered, that you
did in nineteen with w n y C. Can you
tell our audience a little bit about that. Yeah, So
I'm a I'm a comedian and my parents their refugees
from Cuba, and UM, a lot of my acts centered
(17:27):
around my dad, my relationship with my dad, and funny
stories about my dad. And then in about two thousand seven,
he got Alzheimer's disease, from which he died from ten
years later. In and I found out. I was just
recording a random set for w n y C for
their show Two Dope Queens, and it was a day
(17:49):
I found out my dad only had a couple of
days to live, and I almost canceled the performance, but
I just I just did the show and it like
I just poured my heart out. And w and Y
You was really moved by the performance, and a week
later asked if, like, would you be interested in doing
a podcast or anything like that, and um, my dad
had died just a couple of days prior to that.
(18:11):
I was like, I am, I'm in no head space
to make a podcast right now because my father had
just died. And they said, um, anytime. You know, we're
big fans, so starting to hear about your dad. If
you ever go on the road or want to record anything, like,
we'll come to you and we'll record. And I was like, oh,
that's really nice. Yeah. So six months later, I'm on
(18:34):
the road and I'm in Miami. Um my mom happens
to be there, um, dealing with her her parents had
also just passed, and she was like taking care of
their house and getting it ready to sell and stuff.
And I called w and Y C and I was like, Hey,
I don't know what, but like, what's happening, but my
mom's at the house my parents immigrated to. Do you
want to record me and my mom, and so they
(18:56):
flew to to Miami and we spoke to my mom
for like seven hours, and it was this incredible conversation.
And within that conversation, UM, my mom revealed that my
dad's dying wish was to be scattered off the coast
of Cuba, and she had she did not want to
do it. She was like, I am not ever going
back to Cuba. I don't know my dad who wanted this.
(19:19):
In our conversation, I pushed back and I was like,
if that's dad's dying wish, we have to do it.
So this the podcast grew pretty much from that moment,
and it's it's a deep dive into my my dad's
past and my parents beautiful relationship. They're married for fifty
three years, and I UM, since my dad had gotten
(19:39):
Alzheimer's and I didn't really get to know him that much.
I have those conversations that you have while you're an
adult with your parents. Because he had Alzheimer's, I didn't
know everything about him. And in this podcast, we go
and I learned everything about my dad's life and um,
eventually my mom and I go back to Cuba to
scatter his ashes and we recorded the whole thing, and um,
(20:02):
I'll probably never be prouder of anything in my whole life,
and then being able to share my mom and dad's
life and their story together. It's been two and a
half years since the day I bombed the eulogy at
my dad's funeral. I've rewritten that moment in my head
so many times. A single dignified tear rolls down my cheek.
(20:25):
The crowd is hushed, utterly transfixed. I opened with a
story about my dad, like how he secretly did my
science projects for me, so I was the only seventh
grader with a workable solution for preventing another Exxon Valdi's
oil spill. The crowd laughs. Then I switched gears. I
talked about what my dad sacrificed for our family, what
(20:48):
he meant to us. People start to cry, but then
I close on a joke so everyone could have a
final laugh through their tears. Afterwards, everyone lines up to
tell me how much better my speech was than my sisters,
um w and my ces. Amazing and it was just
(21:10):
such a It's like this, I don't know how these happened.
These things happened at just particular big, huge, moments of
my life that I get to capture them. But the
fact that I I was grieving, but I got to
express myself um and show all the love I had
for my dad um in this podcast was just a
really it was really a special thing. And that's how
I feel about finding Rafy too, Like the big my
(21:34):
dad died and it just happened to be captured on
podcasts and then, you know, my my daughter was born
four years later on the day after my dad died,
and so like, and it's it was so insane, um.
And then to be able to kind of go through
this another crazy stage of my life and kind of
(21:56):
record you know, have it recorded and documented, and to
do a new podcast has been I don't know. It
feels weird, like how are these things happening? It's like
nothing else happens for a while. I don't know if
my heart can take another podcast, and maybe I'll wait
a couple of years. Maybe, but yeah, so I don't know.
(22:17):
I'm I'm a comedian and stuff, and I'm funny for
sure because it's what I do for a living. But
buried down in here somewhere, there's a big heart and
it happens that comes it comes through in the podcast format.
What I what I do want to tell our audience
is that I think Scattered and Finding Raffie are beautiful
(22:38):
bookends to each other too, because it's Scattered, you're on
this journey as a son to discover your dad and
who he was, and with Finding Raffie, you're really on
a journey as a father. So I don't think that
there's enough podcasts out there for dads to really come
(23:00):
to terms with what what fatherhood means and how they
how they got there, how they found their identity as
a dad. There's a lot out there for moms, and
so I just recommended both of your podcast to my
husband and he's going to start listening to them. But
I can't recommend them enough for for anyone that wants
to go through that journey and see see what it's
like to rebuild your identity over and over again, because
(23:23):
that is what happens when you become a parent. You're
rebuilding your identity. You become a completely different person. Well,
thank you for saying that. You've got me tearing up now,
but um, it's really um. You do rebuild yourself and
in the moment you become a father or a mother,
or you think of your parents like immediately and you
(23:45):
think of everything about your whole relationship, what you have
done to them, what they've done to you, and in
a way, becoming a father, I get to love my
dad all over again, which is it's really wheat and
I get to love I get to love her for
both of us, and um, and it's really kind of
(24:07):
and I get you know, it's so funny because my
dad and I look like a lot alike and sunny
and I look a lot alike, so she it's crazy.
I don't know what it is, but a lot of
thick eyebrows in this world. And but I just staring
into um, my daughter's eyes and just looking at her.
(24:28):
I get to give her all the love that maybe
my dad didn't have as a kid. Or I get
to like repair things from the past of whoever along
my family line had had a tough life. I get
to um, I get to put all that love, all
that missing love. I get to give it to her.
And I think that's just really beautiful. And um, I mean,
(24:51):
life is crazy. But but to come from something so
sad as the death of my dad and experience the
joy of fatherhood. Um, it's just been it's just been
a beautiful Um, it's been a beautiful journey and I'm glad.
You know, I was nervous about becoming a dad, but
as soon as I saw her, I knew, Um, I
(25:12):
knew I was gonna love it and that I would
never feel so much love in my life. And it's
been really cool. Yeah, it's pretty cool. I like it.
I like it. I thought I would like I do.
It's wow. It's hard. It's hard. It's a living nightmare.
A lot of the time. It's just completely I'm not
gonna lie, it's nuts, not far from a miserable experience,
(25:38):
but it's also uh yeah, but it's also so so
wonderful and you'll never feel them I'm out of love
at least personally. I know it's not for everybody, but
for me, it's just been such a lovely experience. Thank you,
thank you, Thank you for being on the pod Club, Chris,
and thank you for making this wonder well podcasts that
(26:00):
I want everyone to listen to right now. Well, thank
you so much for talking to me about it and
um and scattered and everything. But yeah, everyone, please listen
to finding Raffie. Um, I think it will make your
day a little better. So water, little rest make you.
(26:26):
And what she tered, She's fighting the duck and the
fox so bad. She ate the bog and she said,
k he's kid. Yes, that's it for the pod Club today.
(26:48):
Emotions got high at the end because Chris's show really
does evoke so many messy but also pretty beautiful and
vulnerable feelings about parenthood and family. Finding Raffie has got
something for everyone, not just parents, but for anyone who
listened to Raffie growing up, and anyone who wishes they'd
listen to Raffie growing up. It's not too late. You
(27:09):
can listen to Raffie right now. But after you do that,
go and listen to Finding Raffie. All of the episodes
are out now and you can just fly right through them.
You will, you will, And if you want to get
even more emotional afterwards, definitely listen to Chris's other show, Scattered.
You're not going to regret it. The Pod Club is
hosted by me Joe Piazza. Our executive producers are Me
(27:34):
Again and Emily Maronoff. Our producers are Mary Do and
Darby Masters. Our associate producer is Lauren Philip. Our theme
and additional music was composed by Aaron Kaufman. Aaron Kaufman
is also our consulting producer and special thanks to Nikki Tour.
He was just a wonderful human being who I like
to think at the end of episodes the certainly instant
(28:08):
stain the b
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