PHG REWIND: I Survived The Pulse Nightclub Shooting

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This episode contains sensitive topics. Listener discretion is a vice?
What's up professional Homegirls's shagirl ebine here? And I hope
Aull is cute. Now we're gonna throw it back to

(00:22):
one of the most unforgettable conversations I ever had with
a survivor of the Pulse Nightclub shooting on June twelfth,
twenty sixteen. A devastating act of violence forever changed the
lives of so many when forty nine people were killed
and dozens more would injure at Pulse Nightclub in Orlando.

(00:43):
It remains one of the most deadliest mass shootings in
the US history. With the anniversary of this approaching, I
felt it was very important to honor the lives, laws,
acknowledge the enduring impact on those affected, and also just
amplify the voice of a survivor who could tell he
used to embody, shrimp and resilience and shout out to her,

(01:03):
y'all because she is now a whole married woman. She's
been on a lot of different shows not only talking
about her being a savinry but just talking about her
amazing love story. And when I think about this episode,
because I'm you know, we a on a little hiatus
until season three come and I was just going through
my catalog and I was just like, you know, which
episode can come out for this week's conversation. And I

(01:24):
was saying, well, it makes sense for this to come
out because the anniversary is approaching.

Speaker 2 (01:27):
But also I was just like, wow, like I've.

Speaker 1 (01:29):
Been recording for a very long time, y'all, Like I've
been at this for seven years. And I recorded this
conversation in the middle of the pandemic in twenty twenty,
and I remember exactly where I was at. I was
at my homegirl's house in Tennessee, in Nashville, and you know,
that's when the tickets was like ten dollars child, and
I was just so excited about this conversation. You know,

(01:51):
I really wanted to show that I had ranged when
it came to storytelling and just covering different topics. And y'all,
I remember calling every body and day Mama asking for
feedback on my questions. So let me know what y'all
think about this week's episode, and let me know if
y'all see some growth, okay, because like I said, we've
been at this for almost seven years, so you gotta.

Speaker 2 (02:11):
See some growth. Somewhere child.

Speaker 1 (02:12):
This is when I was independent. I was hustling. I
was just like just getting interviews and just researching like crazy.
So get ready, y'all, because I survived the Pulse nightclub shooting.
Starts now.

Speaker 3 (02:26):
Thank you so much for sharing your story being a
survivor for one of the most daily shootings in the
United States history, the Pulse nightclub shooting at Kurring in Orlando, Florida,
on June eleventh.

Speaker 2 (02:36):
Twenty sixteen. Yeah, it's actually June twelve, Oh, June twelve, twelve.
The shooting happened at one pm, am, am im.

Speaker 3 (02:47):
Yeah, cause I was like it was from like two
o'clock in the morning, like, oh yeah, six o'clock.

Speaker 2 (02:51):
Yeah. Day. By the time they got us out of there,
it was like six am. Six am. Well, when I
looked at the clock, it was eight o'clock. But that
was when I finally got to the hospital and they
put me into an actual room because I was in
like this emergency set area because the hospital went on
like a lockdown. So like what happened was is like, okay,
that's down, uh huh. Let's start from the beginning.

Speaker 3 (03:13):
Yes, So so you're up in Philly, Yes, so what
made you your cousin and your best friend go to Florida.
So it was actually it was a vacation so like
my family does, like we haven't done one since, but
like my family does this like annual vacation thing every year,

(03:33):
And so what ended up happening was, like, you know,
my aunt was like, we're going to Orlando.

Speaker 2 (03:37):
It's an easy vacation. And my cousin was actually she
graduated from high school that same year, so and that
with all in that same breath, we were like, oh, yeah,
vacation is in the fourwal week because she graduated June third,
so we were like, oh yeah, we're going on a vacation
earlier this year. So we ended up booking you know,
a condo out there in a Kissimmi, and you know,

(03:59):
we just that was our trip because it was an
easy trip and it was cheaper to do that rather
us do our big like us doing our our regular
big trips like cruises and like going over to the likes
on the West Coast and things like that. Because she
was going away and they was just trying to forgive
her ready for college without you know, still having fun,
without saving it, you also saving a whole bunch of money.
So we just decided to go on do our regular

(04:20):
vacation and we went to We were going to go
to Orlando. We went a few years prior, but we
were so young we didn't get a chance to do it.
Y'all was like grown. So yeah, yeah, so now we're grown,
we're trying to turn up. Yeah. I was actually twenty
years old and my old friend she was twenty, and
my cousin had just thirt eighteen, so we were older now,
so we could actually do a little bit more so

(04:40):
and without any restrictions. So you know, we were really excited.
So I actually invited my old friend to come onto
the vacation with us because she's never been on a
family vacation. So we decided to take her because we
were like, you know, hey, like come experiences. We do
this every year. We talked about it, we showed her
pictures from previously, so she was just as excited as
we were year every year. So we decided to go.

Speaker 3 (05:03):
But I was gonna ask you, so this is I
understand if y'all want to have like a family get together,
because also she was your cousin was going away for college.
So this is probably the last one that y'all was
gonna be able to hang out with each other.

Speaker 4 (05:14):
Yep, before everybody go their separate ways.

Speaker 2 (05:16):
Yeah, yep. So did you hear.

Speaker 4 (05:18):
About Plus nightclub before or this was your first time going?

Speaker 2 (05:21):
It was our first time going. So what happened? We
were down there, we did our we got there. I
think we weren't there for we weren't even there for
forty eight hours. But I think when we got down there,
we were like, hey, let's it was like our first day,
like our first full day there. So that night we
were just like, yo, let's want something to do. My
cousin was like, let's want something to do. I said,

(05:42):
I really want to stay in the house. I worked
over time. I'm tired. So you know, she was like, no,
we gotta do something. We on vacation. This is Tiara, Sorry,
you know what, You're right. So we was my cousin
and her mom decided to go in google some places
to go, and what ended up happening was they end
up coming across the club. My cousin was like, you listen,

(06:02):
let's go to the club. And that no, at home,
we went to the clubs over at home, we always
go to the clubs here. So we were like, you know,
let's go to the club. So we found posts before
we got there. We didn't know that it was a
LGBTQ plus positive club. We didn't know that. So what
happened was we didn't care like that. But don't be
the best loves though they are the best clubs. I tried,

(06:23):
but I tell people that all the time because I
hate going the regular clubs and the girls being there
looking cute but just want to sit there. I'm not.
I didn't come and spend this money to get into
pay this cover charge. They come sit in the corner
and look cute. That's just not what it is for me. So,
you know, we like to dance all swept my hair around,
all kinds of stuff like that's that's just who we were.
So my cousin's like, oh, let's go here. They got

(06:44):
to get ratings on social media, I mean on on
like a Google search engine. They were like, they got
good ratings, let's go. I'm a r bet. So we
get there. We were able to get there. The cover
charges was like ten bucks or something like that. Yeah,
so it was like we ran in there, but they,
you know, to make sure because we weren't twenty one,
so we couldn't get no drinks. So what they did
was they like stamped our hands with these big stuff

(07:07):
in a minute, Oh my god, they like scamped our
hands with like these big, huge like markers, and it
was like exes, like big exes with permanent market and
they were like, I have no drinking for you. They
was like did y'all? They was like, you know, when
we got in the door to lay, the woman at
the door was just like, you guys are so pretty,
don't come in here starting no trouble. Y'all look like

(07:28):
y'allnew to the neighborhood and all kinds of stuff. But
we told them, we was like we actually are we
coming off a vacation. My old friend, she actually ended
up getting in with one of the young ladies. She
had like a plus one ticket from because it was
an event that night. We didn't know it was like
a Latin night or something. Yeah it was, yeah, it
was Latin night and she had like a plus one ticket.
So when she got the plus one ticket, we actually

(07:50):
went into the went into the club. She got in
for free, so she didn't actually have to pay her
cover charts. We foress that like so, but the girl
was like, I can't end up coming by myself. One
of our friends like you know, flaked on me, so
you know, I'm just gonna give it away. So that's
how we got there. We danced for her for a
little while and then like you know, she kind of

(08:10):
went her separatesse I think she ran into somebody in
the club, Like you know, that was just it for that.

Speaker 4 (08:15):
Right, So when y'all were there, I was having fun, Like.

Speaker 2 (08:18):
Yeah, we had a freaking blessed because I think I
saw pictures.

Speaker 4 (08:23):
It was like mad people there.

Speaker 2 (08:24):
Yeah, it was so that night was in the terms,
like you know, the younger terms licked. Okay. We had
so much fun. It was and it had like different
sections in the club. So like at one point we
were like watching like the drags, like the drags perform
on stage and do like the impersonations and stuff. I
think they had j Loo there that night. And yes,

(08:50):
we had so much fun. So they had like the
impersonator in that night. She was dancing. I mean it
was fabulous, Like we loved it that we were dancing
with all the like you know, like the gig guys
and everything. We had a ball. I actually still got
some I got their numbers to this day, Like we
had a ball. So then like that was one part
of the club. They played like Latino music. If you went
in the bank, they paid, like played like the Island

(09:12):
and Caribbean music on the patio area, and then if
you went into the other side, they had like like
regular music, like the normal stuff that you hear like
right now, like HARDI B and all that other stuff.
Like they had all of that playing. So it was
literally like a fabulous night, Like we had an awesome, awesome,
awesome time. We danced until our legs heard it and everything.

Speaker 3 (09:35):
So then two hours later y'all decided to leave and
you did the hoober what happened between or after that time?

Speaker 2 (09:42):
So what ended up happening was my old friend she
had came up to me and asked me, if you know,
how will we get home? I said, well, I was
just gonna pay for a ride share to go home.
So it was about thirty bucks. I wasn't complaining. We
were in a bar fromal house. It was like thirty minutes.
It was like thirty minutes, so we were going to
pay for a ryde Share to get us back over

(10:03):
to where we were, so the ryod Shares when we
ordered the uber the moment that I stepped to the
side to order the uber because that's how she is.
When she asked me to get home, you know, we
just hear like these popping noises and like we were
like what in the world. So at first nobody thought
nothing of it, but then they we figured out they

(10:23):
were gunshots. We from Philly, Like, you know, this wasn't
this wasn't nothing new for us, but we was like
what in the same name, Like what is going on?
So you know, we were actually like we hear the noises,
the gun noises and everything, and you hear the entire
like my like you hear everybody starts screaming, and like
my friend and my cousin like they like, you know,

(10:45):
they dropped to the ground and I'm like I'm looking
at them in like confusion because I'm like, what is
going on? Like I really did not understand what was
going on. I thought this is some something part of
a song. Because again, it was like three or four
DJs in the house, so it's like it was like
super loud till it was super loud, So when you
did hear the noises, but when you heard the people scream,

(11:06):
that was the confirmation. So my old friend and my
cousin they ended up running out. The crazy thing about
that is that they ended up running out of the
side exit door that we were standing right next to.
We were there the majority of them, like towards the
end of the night, which is pretty much the majority
of the night, and like, they ended up running out,

(11:27):
and I was still standing in confusion, like what is
going on? So I knew it got real when the
gunshots started to fly past me, because now I'm starting
to feel it and you see all running into our
areas and I'm like, oh my god. And my I
remember looking to my right and my cousin and my
old friend is yelling like tee, we gotta go, we

(11:47):
gotta go, and I'm like, oh my, Like everything was
like a slow notion for me.

Speaker 4 (11:54):
You probably had.

Speaker 2 (11:54):
An old body experience like what is going on? I did?
I definitely did. I definitely did. It was completely like
it just naturally yeah, And like you know, again, I
hate to say it, but I'm from Philly. This is
nothing new to me. We used to be saying when
we were hearing gunshots. It's so sad. But when you
hear the gunshots in Philly, the first thing, you sit

(12:15):
there and just shake your head. At first, you may
duck a little bit, but if you don't see it
coming your way, you just gonna stand there and you're
not gonna move. That's sat about it. Yeah, And that's
the sad part about it. So it was just like,
you know, I'm not really like confused, but when they
were like yelling in my face and I came back
to myself, I ended up turning around and running into

(12:35):
the bathroom stall and not running out the side exit door.
And it was like in such a frantic because it
caught me off guard, Like I didn't really expect us
to like end up in no bathroom stall. I'm I'm
this exit door has been sitting by us all night
and people have was going in and out of it
all night, like you know, the small cigarettes whatever, and

(12:56):
like I did not run out of that door. Like
that was one of the parts that stuck with me
for a very very very very Do you regret not
running out the door? I did? You regret? I do?
I still do, and I did, But it's no longer
a thing where it was. It's hurt. It hurts me
more like at one point I went through survivor's guilt
like that. That was a heavy burden to carry. I

(13:17):
got blamed for my cousin's.

Speaker 3 (13:18):
Death, so I know we're gonna I got some questions
about that too. Yes, but so you went into the bathroom,
your cousin and your best friend went outside.

Speaker 2 (13:27):
So when did they come back inside? When they came back, right,
So that's what I was saying. When they came back
and ran and yelling in my face like TV gotta go.
When I talked the red and ran into the bedroom stall,
they was behind me. So that that's how we ended
up in the bathroom stall. So I know the bathroom.

Speaker 3 (13:42):
I mean, if we all been to clubs, so the
bathroom is like regular sized bathrooms. And after watching several
of your interviews, you was like it was like fifteen
people packed in one bathroom.

Speaker 2 (13:51):
Yes, and it was then they called it the handed
cap store because that's the big stall the bathroom, right,
so you got move maneuver around. We were in that
particular stall, and it was a whole bunch of us,
like laying on top of each other, damn.

Speaker 3 (14:03):
And then at this point, you, your cousin, and your
best friend were shot. Where were y'all shot at? Because
I know you were shot in your stomach right again.

Speaker 2 (14:10):
My stomach and my arm, My stomach and my arm.
What ended up happening It was we were in the
wh we ran into the bathroom. You can hear it
was a guy that was holding the door, so like
it was a couple of It was a guy holding
the door, and we was all in the bathroom like
like trying to get everybody to be quiet because we
wasn't sure. My old friend she was texting at the time,

(14:34):
like you know, like she was snapchat. She was like,
this is not really happening right now, Like we did
not believe this is what she was like, they use
a fireworks to try to get us out the clubs.
We was already leading, were not like none of us
taking serious at all. We were saying like blissing, like
it's so much fun, like so we really didn't pay

(14:55):
no attention. So she was like, you know, I can't
believe that they're really doing this. But but then we
heard the gunshots getting so much closer. So then that's
when we were like trying to get people to like
be quiet. You heard everybody like saying so because he
were the last people in the stall, we were the
first people you saw. So it was all three of

(15:15):
us laying on top of other people. And then it
was the guy hold in the stall, and it was
a lady in the corner of it, and you could
hear the gunshots getting louder and louder and louder. They
started to sound like they were like right in the
bathroom at that moment, but they weren't. When they did
come into the bathroom, he kicked You hear him break
the locks off the door. So he kicks the stall doors.

(15:38):
You know, they had the lampch locks. He kicked the
stall door locked off, and he shot and killed people
in the first two stalls, because it was only three
stalls in that bathroom was the hed caps off and
in two small, like small regular ones. He kicked the
doors open and started to shoot those in the stalls,
and you could see the smoke in the bathroom, I

(15:59):
mean it was And then he got to the second
store and he did the same thing. But when he
got to the second store, before he could get to
our store, because it was somebody holding the door. You know,
he was trying to open the door. But all you
hear up me and say, is dad my guns jin.
So we was like, I look at my cousin, I
look at my friend. Were looking at each other. We're

(16:20):
staying back. I know she's seen me seeing her. So
because y'all thinking the same thing, because we thinking the
same thing when he said his gun was jimmed. The
first one was to jump them. That's bum brush them.
Let's un let's bum rushing. But when the guy the
door got the memo of what we were supposed to
be doing, he was like, well he opened the door,
I'm like, you know we gonna bum rushing. We won't

(16:42):
bum brush them. We did not know that man had
another gun, and that's how we got shot. But my girlfriend,
where she was laying, how she ended up with the
bullets to her legs is because her legs were under
the other stall and he was just randomly shooting shot.
She was shot.

Speaker 4 (17:01):
She was laying diagonal.

Speaker 2 (17:02):
Yeah, she was in a diagonal position. So that's how
she ended up getting shot in her legs. Picture right
in my head, Yes, it was. It was definitely a situation.
So it was just like it was unbelievable though, like
you do. This is not something that like an everyday
person would experience, like this is something you see in

(17:22):
the movies, like exactly. So you know, she was laying
a certain way. That is how she got shot in
her legs. When the guy opened our he got finally
got our star door open, he shot me and everybody
else that was laying in front of me. When he
got done shooting my cousin and myself, we jumped up

(17:44):
and close the Death from Star door. So like when
we went to slam the door shut. She I was like,
you know, I stood there and I remember standing straight
up and I stuck my nail, like my hand inside
of my bullet woud because I remember were feeling that
pressure because when I got hit, it was like a
I couldn't breathe. It hurt it, but it felt more

(18:06):
like pressure rather than pain. I had more pressure than pain.
It was like somebody dropped something extremely heavy on me.
So when I stood up, I stuck my hand and
the thing in it like in my womb, and I
ran to close the door. She's holding the door, she said,
please stop shooting your You're being weird. You're being weird,
please stop shooting. And we just closed the door and

(18:28):
he never he didn't try to budget move it, cook
it open, nothing, and got left back out.

Speaker 3 (18:43):
There was a point where you said, because you said
to them, he said why.

Speaker 2 (18:47):
He was doing this, like he was telling y'all, yeah
he did. So that was later on down the line,
after we'd have laid there for about maybe three hours,
because I know.

Speaker 3 (18:55):
She was negotiating with him, But you also said something
that y'all was kind of looking at to, like staring
at each other.

Speaker 2 (19:01):
Yeah, So what happened was at that moment, my cousin
and myself we were laying there for a while, we
were talking to each other and think that's where you
got that from. And she was like, we gotta get
out of here. I wish we never came here. She
was like kind of blaming herself for coming here, and
I'm mad, like you know and all that, and I said,
don't blame myself. We're getting out of here. So I'm like,
even if I got to get myself up to get

(19:22):
out of here, we getting out of here. Anybody who
know me like you mess with me in minds is
like we have a problem. So and it was like
it was really hard to know that it was nothing
that I could really do for her. So but like
in my mind, I was gonna get up and fight
this man like that. That's mentally what I was going through.
So what happened was we were laying there for a while.
He came in and he was like, you know, he

(19:44):
goes into this rant about how he doesn't have a
problem with black people. He knows what we've been through
with slavery, and how he is doing this for his
country and because they're killing people over in Iraq and
al Kaa. He starts speaking all his nonsense about that,
and you know, he was you know, he pledged for Islam,

(20:04):
and it was it was a it was a thing
like we were just you know, he asked us if
we knew about that shooting that had occurred in South Carolina,
and we were just like yeah. So we was just
not to piss him off, but like phones and stuff
was going like ringing and just kept ringing, and he
was like, who phone is that? But he's like, it's
something out there, so fast, that's out there. It was

(20:27):
out there, So we were trying not to make him mad.
At him what he was. But you can hear that
his gun, the gun that he originally came in with,
was completely jammed, so you hear him wrestling with it
trying to get it on Jam. I mean the gun
was completely broken at this point because he was really
fighting with it and he couldn't get it on Jam.
And it was it was a situation and like, you know,

(20:47):
being in there and like I'm I remember grabbing my
old friend's leg and like you know, trying to make
sure she was okay, and I think I grabbed too
hard and it was hurting, so she just put her
hand up like I'm okay. And I remember looking over
at a young man who I believe his name was Tevin.
He was like, you know, because the guy tried to
come through the stall, doing the craziest thing I could
have done was putting my hand up and slamming the

(21:09):
door shut. I don't know why or what made me
do that, but I just was tiring of him coming
in and out of that bathroom, so I just slammed
the bathroom door shut. And the guy remember him looking
at me and saying good job or whatever. And then
after that, you know, that was really it for everybody
in the store. We was in there for so long,
people fell asleep, they was snoring. What, yes, it was

(21:31):
it was real, like that's how long we were in there.
And he didn't do anything. He didn't do anything. He
just sat there in the bathroom. He was on the
phone with the police officers. They was trying to negotiate
with him. He didn't have him on speaker, but he
was telling, you know, you got to stop bothering my
country and Iraq and all this other stuff. And like
we were like, oh wow, like this man, should you
specifically come to a gate club to prove that point?

(21:53):
Like you know it like none of that you think
about it in hindsight, Like you came alway to a
gate club to do that. So it was we found
out later.

Speaker 3 (22:02):
Was yeah, because I heard during some research and he
was going to the club frequently.

Speaker 2 (22:08):
Yeah, he was a frequent visitor. We heard that too.
We don't know how true that is. We don't live there.
So yeah, so like when we heard that, I was like,
I'm not surprised because specifically he came on this name.
So but he's also but they said there's all people
some of the like the club goers would say, like,
you know, they they've seen him visit the club before.

(22:29):
This isn't his first rodeo there. Yes, too, Yeah, so
like you know, I again we don't know because we
don't live there. But we also as we was doing
research as like you know, we got better than didn't
like him, but the story, you know, we started to
look into like why, like what made him do this?
And he was you know, they were saying like his
family had a problem with other people. They were saying

(22:51):
that he was gay himself. It was under cover and
like a whole it was like a whole thing. But again,
we don't know that to be true. We don't know
this man. We was just there on a whim and
got hurt. Like that's what that was for us. We
just wanted trying to understand how did this occur. The
sad thing about this entire process is my cousin. Even

(23:13):
though she was a basketball like phenomenon, like she was amazing,
like you know, even though that was her thing, she
also was going to school for criminology and she wanted
to study while criminals do the things that they do,
and she god doing that like not being able to
do that, well, I want.

Speaker 3 (23:33):
To touch on this part because I noticed you said
that your cousin was on top of you and you
were saying, how like you felt her.

Speaker 2 (23:38):
Weight getting heavy? Yeah, so that was a wo So
what ended that happening was my cousin was saying her
back for her, she wanted to move. I told her now.
She wanted to get up, and I kept telling her now,
but she was like my back hood and I said,
if you move, you gotta be crazy quiet like you.

(24:01):
It's gotta be you gotta I don't even want to
hear you. You gotta be crazy quiet. We was laying
by this point, we was laying in like a blood everywhere.
The bathroom was completely black and red, and I abagine
y'all body hurting because y'all was in the bathroom for
a couple of hours. Believe it or not, we didn't
feel anything at this point. If he just came and
shot us again, like you know, for me, if he

(24:21):
came and shot me again, I wouldn't have felt it.
That's how That's how long we've been sitting there. So
what ended up occurring at that point, so my cousin
she got on my back. I let her get switched
positions on my back and she laying on top of me,
so I told her to be really quiet. I remember
reaching back and grabbing her and she kept tapping me like,
you know, I'm all right, I'm good. So like my

(24:42):
hand stayed back there most of the time to hold
her because I just wanted to make sure she was
sitting where she was at. So and I'm just like,
you know, not being able to move because we done
stayed in this one position and there was actually and
part of the reason why my lads fell asleep was
that there was a lady that was behind me who
was on my legs, and that was part of me
a while they were sleep on top of the fact

(25:04):
that the bullet then probably paralyzed me for that moment. So,
but there's somebody else that was laying on top of me,
and I remember reaching back and grabbing my cousin and
just kept taking her with you. She was okay, yeah,
So then I remember because now at this point it's
just me laying in front of the stall. So you
know how like when you go into some most coetheric bathrooms,
like they had the stall, you could just see people's feet.

(25:25):
You could see him pacing back and forth in the bathroom,
just pacing trying to get the gun on jam. Then
he would stop doing that for a minute, then he
would do it again, and it was just a bunch
of weird stuff. So uh and when asked he was
doing that, he I remember him looking down and he
just looked under the stall and he laughed, like you know,

(25:47):
he kind of chuckled a little bit and he was like,
oh yeah, like as if this was something that he
was used to doing. So that's scary. Yeah. So like
him looking didn't me dead in my face, mom My.
My reaction was to sit there and play dead like
I died with my eyes open like that. I just
didn't move at it. Blank. I didn't even breathe because

(26:10):
like the fear was he was gonna shoot me in
my face, like yeah, you know, I just had to
sit there, and you know he just was like oh yeah,
And it just it's definitely a situation that again, like
I said, na, shit, everyday person, this is something you
were seeing a movie, like a scary movie or like
something like that. This this was never something to.

Speaker 3 (26:31):
But I couldn't even imagine, like you even you're telling
the story and just thinking about when I was in
my research, I was thinking about when it actually happened.
And when I first heard about it, I was like, yo, like.

Speaker 2 (26:40):
This was fucking buck.

Speaker 4 (26:41):
I was like, this is scary.

Speaker 2 (26:43):
Yeah, and so like I never thought I would ever
like so it's crazy they save your history repeats itself.
My father was shot at twenty twenty one, twenty twenty
twenty one in his stomach, and you were shutting your
stomach and I was shoting my stomach at twenty So
they were saying, you know, my dad was like this
crazy hout history and teach itself and like you know,

(27:03):
you always think, like you know, this would never happened
to me. I would never have to be a person
telling this story and you know, having to share my
story and just understand my clip, like you know, understand
that this is something that's a part of my life
and it doesn't make my life right. So it was
either sit in one space or don't or do or
you sitting on fava doll and I chose not to because,

(27:25):
like I went through, it was a whirl winning after
that situation, it wasn't just post itself. So it ended
up being a situation where I was being blamed for
my cousin's dad.

Speaker 3 (27:36):
I know, yeah, that was that was kind of messed up.
But before we go, I don want to ask you
one more question about the standoff because I know that
the shooter and the police were standing off for like
three three hours and then eventually they killed them.

Speaker 2 (27:49):
Yes, so it wasn't three hours. It was a few minutes,
like yeah, three out three because that's how how long
it was, Yeah, before the police came in. So what
happened was we as we're laying there, it's like crazy quiet,
like you can hear pen mice, everything, anything that would

(28:09):
hit that floor, you can hear it and it would
vibrate through the whole floor because that's how quiet it was.
So what happened was we hear these bombs go off.
Now you hear these like explosions, so you're like whoa,
Like at this point, you hear people like, oh my god,
Like you hear the heavy breathing. Now you hear it
like it's a lot. So you hear this explosion and

(28:34):
then you hear a second one and it gets much closer.
So now we are extremely scared because we don't know
where is this coming from. Right now, this man was
definitely in the bathroom when he was on the phone
with the police officers talking about how he had enough
explosives to light a city block. So we were thinking
he detonated these bombs, but were I quickly realized it

(28:56):
wasn't him because he started to run around like he
was in frantic inside of the bathroom. So what happened
was he before they let off that third explosion. You
hear them say after the second one, you know, anybody
who can hear this or hear us, please get close
to the wall. And anybody who could hear move, see,

(29:19):
breathe anything you heard him move, get it because close
to the walls you possibly can, because that's how they
were coming into the building. Well, that third explosion just
so happened to be our bathrooms though, and the third explosion.
When that third explosion came, you see him run straight
into the bathroom with us. What he ran straight into

(29:42):
the bathroom with us, And what happened was he I
don't like this part. This part is where it gets
really touchy, because it's like, you know, I was in
disbelief for a long time. So somebody must have moved
in the store, and you heard him say hey you
and he shoot three more times. This is the part

(30:05):
where you're asking me about my cousin's body getting heavy.
That was that moment. So in my mind, he didn't
shoot her. I think she passed out, but I know
he shot three more times, but my mind is done
doing something else. He didn't shoot her, like she was
alive with me the whole time. When after he shot

(30:25):
and killed her, that explosion happened and he came running
out of the store with him and the cops started
getting it, engaging into the fire like the whole like
you know, back and forth, And at that moment, it
was just like wow, you know what I mean, because

(30:46):
now it's bullets ricocheton off of places and you're getting
burn We're right there, I'm saying, burnt up. The bullets
is flying, skinting my skin and it hurt, like you know,
I'm trying to hide my arms and stuff, trying to
from getting burnt because I'm feeling that they're hot. So
after that, after you hear her that, you hear him

(31:08):
yell like he's down, he's bangs down. They come and
they start pulling people out the stall. I remember hearing
my old friends screaming to the top of her lungs
because they had to snatch her up, and because obviously
she can't walk, she just no longer has a knee,
so you know, they snatched her right up and they
put her they pulled her out of the stall. I pulled.

(31:29):
I pulled myself off the floor because they wanted us
to put her hands up. I pulled myself off the floor,
and I flipped my cousin around because I just kept saying, God,
you're gonna give me the strength to get off this floor.
And I got up and I pulled my cousin up
because now the bathroom the pipe bust and so now
the floor is feeling up. So I flipped her up
and picked her head up, and I'm shaking there, like care,

(31:50):
please get up, get up, get up there here, we
can leave, we can leave it. Get up. And she's
breathing still. And the guy that was sitting in front
of me, who is who's name is uh Richard Athen
He he was like, calmed down, calm down. He was
so calm it was freaky crazy. But he's been in
that stall the whole time with us, and he was

(32:12):
never shot. So he was like calm down, Calm down.
He was like, she's still breathing. It's okay, she's still breathing.
So in my mind, I'm the happiest person because I'm like, oh,
she's breathing. But I need you her to respond to me, right,
So I'm pulling her and I said, you know. They
were like, can you get up? And I'm like no,
but can you take them? Please take my sister, because
that's what I kept saying that night, Please take my sister.
Please take my sister. Thinking in my mind, if I

(32:33):
tell him that this is my sibling, they move quicker,
even though it's it's still my blood relative, Like you know,
if I figure if I say that like as much,
they will understand. So I'm trying to get them to
respond to me, like, you know, please take my sister,
like we're gonna get her. And I'm pulling her because
I'm not letting her go. So they had to like
try me off of her in order for me to
come off the wall. So they pulled me out of

(32:54):
the wall. I remember them having to lift my legs
because I physically couldn't move them. I remember them pulling
me out of the wall, lifting my legs and what
happened was that thing. After they pulled my legs out
of the wall, I kept telling them my phone dropped
out of my bra because I had my phone, my ID,
everything in my bro said please get my phone, get

(33:15):
my phone, and it felt it was like we'll get it,
we'll get it. And I turned I said, please get
my sister. I kept trying to turn around, and then
I remember them pulling my arms like they were kind
of dragging me a bit because I couldn't walk, and
I said I'm going to pass out. I said I'm
going to pass out. They were like, oh no, no,
you can't pass out on the Please don't pass out
on it. And I remember just closing my eyes for

(33:37):
that quick moment and falling out and like they were
carrying me. They had to sling me. So now they
slung me onto a pickup truck. And when they did that,
it was like I instantly like jumped back out of
it and I'm just like get my sister. And I
tried to climb over the truck as it was moving.
They're like, no, you can't do that, and like you
got people in the back trying to grab me, and

(33:59):
I'm like get off me, get my system, so and
like I'm trying to like climb off the truck. So
then the truck gets gets us to wherever we ended
up at. I don't even remember where we were going
to the club now. I still couldn't tell you what
street they turned down to put us where. I don't
know where I was at. I just remember them pulling

(34:19):
this out, and I remember seeing camera people outside. They
cut all my clothes off outside because they were trying
to figure out where all my bleeding was coming from.
So like they cut pants. I saw white pants and
I was like, my god, yeah, they were pristine white,
like a pure white hair pants. They were no longer
white that moment. So they cut all my clothes off outside,

(34:42):
and I remember seeing the camera people and I said,
tell them to stop the cording. This is not a
recording moment, like, and they were like, you know, you
can see the police run over there and try to
get them like enough wasn't enoughing. You know, they were newspeople,
so you can see them trying to stop them from
recording the chaos. And I remember them pulling me into
the thing and I I just kept saying, please give
my sister. Please get my sister, Please get my sister.

(35:03):
That's all I kept saying, like this it that's all
I can say. Please get my sister. I was like,
I hear one of my sisters, she's screaming, which they had.
She was on the other side, and I remember that
I never saw her, but I knew who it was.
They had my old friend at the time. I knew
who it was because I'm like, that's one of them.
Where's the other one. I need the other one. I
need the other one. They're like, we're gonna get her.

(35:24):
They're gonna get her, and you could just see like
the hurt and like the ant's faces because it was
just like them looking at me, and I'm just like please,
and I'm like I'm grabbing them like please, like I can't.
I don't know what to do.

Speaker 4 (35:36):
And do you think at that moment that you knew
that she didn't make it?

Speaker 2 (35:39):
No, Nope. You know what what secured that for me
was when they called and said they found her and
she was the corner's office or the the more Yeah,
the corners off. Yeah, that that's when I figured her.
They figured that out. But that's but I still didn't

(36:00):
believe it then because it was like, we can't find her.
And I told them people in the hospital that if
y'all didn't find her, I was gonna get up and
do it myself because I felt like they didn't know
what they were doing. So I went to try to
get up. You had to see how they bun mushed
into this room to stop me from getting out of
his bed. So and I'm just like, y'all not moving
fast enough for me, Like y'all telling me that the

(36:21):
girl's dead. This is fool, this is cool. So this
whole process was just you know, I get in there,
and then after sitting in this this this room for hours, hours,
I mean hours on end, I had to lay flat.
They didn't allow me to stand up. They didn't allow

(36:44):
me to do anything. They didn't want me to sit straight,
like to sit up on an angle. I had to
stay flat. So I've been laying there for hours, looking
at the ceiling and like and I remember being poked
a bunch of needles. They sent me through the MRI machine.

(37:05):
That was the first time I ever been in them.
That was the first time I ever been in one
of those. And they they they kept sticking me with
these needles. I remember my there was this needle they
stick you at before they stick you inside of the MRI.
They were just they just needed to see where the
boom where the bullet wound went, because they knew it

(37:27):
was there. They just needed to see where they were.
And so that's at least that's what they explained to
me later that in the hospital, like then a line
in the hospital. So after that, I just I finally
got to see my mom and she just sat on
the bed and I said, all I could ask was
where was they at? There was nothing else to talk about, Like,
I just wanted to know where they were. I could
care less. I was fine. I just wanted to know

(37:49):
where my cousin was and where my old friend at
the time was. I just wanted to know whe they were.
I said, they bought her here, but I don't know
where she is. And my mom was like, I think
they transferred her to a different hospital. They still hanging
found Care. It was like there or two A day
went by and then that's when we found out Care
didn't make it.

Speaker 3 (38:08):
I watched a lot of your interviews, and I mean
this this story. If I touched on your cousin was
really heartbreaking and I felt like you thought you were
responsible for her death?

Speaker 2 (38:19):
I did. Why?

Speaker 4 (38:20):
Why is that?

Speaker 2 (38:22):
Well, that's what survivor's givet is right. So what it
was is that I'm like, I shouldn't have let her move.
I should have been I felt like I should have
did a lot more. Again, I'm from Philly and like
you mess with me in minds, we have a problem.
M hm. So anybody who knew me knew I was
a firecracker, So like you can't there were certain things,
there were certain limits that you couldn't cross with me

(38:42):
without me blowing up. So it's just like me not
being able to do anything at that moment was a
lot on me. That was a lot of pressure on me,
and it was something I couldn't sleep and I didn't eat,
I didn't do anything, I didn't go anywhere, Like it
was really there was a lot of pressure on me
and I had I took that and I guess, you know,

(39:05):
her family was just needed someone to blame. But yeah,
you know, so it didn't make it no better when
they were blaming me for.

Speaker 4 (39:12):
Because they stopped talking to you.

Speaker 2 (39:14):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, what's the whole story? About that.
But I'm an digress on that. They didn't just stop
speaking to me. But that was a whole nother process.

Speaker 4 (39:23):
Oh wow, that type of process.

Speaker 2 (39:26):
It was a whole nother process. They ain't just stopped
freaking to me. Somebody just to give you a piece
of it. Somebody, I guess later down a line, somebody
bangalized her car, spring painted in red, bust out the window.
And the instant thing was to blame us. But the
night that that happened, I wasn't even in Philadelphia. Mmm.

(39:46):
So it was a process. But that's just a piece
of it. That's not all of it. I went through
a World winner thing, and you.

Speaker 3 (39:55):
Know, so funny when do I want of interviews and
I don't want touch on your family business because this
is you know, the pri a situation. But I know
I was watching one of the interviews and I can
see how her mom was looking at you, and I
can tell that she felt a way.

Speaker 2 (40:07):
Yeah, everybody said, everybody said that crazy. And she was
telling one of her aunts that I don't understand how
she was bitter and she didn't do anything. And then
one of the aunts was around her again from Philly.
There's a lot more than I know that a lot
of people don't think I would know. But she was
going around telling people around here that she should have

(40:30):
pulled her out of the wall with her and all
this other stuff.

Speaker 5 (40:33):
Yeah, but I think people need to also understand and realize,
like when you're in these type of situations, you don't
know what you're gonna do.

Speaker 2 (40:50):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (40:51):
I need that it's easier for people to be like, well,
I you should you should have did that, but like
when you're.

Speaker 2 (40:55):
In that extra moment, you don't know how your.

Speaker 3 (40:57):
Abody gonna respond to that ship Like that's a scary
ass situation, you.

Speaker 2 (41:00):
Know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (41:02):
And I think it was honorable that your cousin came
back to make sure you're good.

Speaker 2 (41:07):
Because that was something that we would that I would
have done, But see, there was exactly we would have.
I wasn't in the right state. That's why I went
through that process, that TAT virus guilt. That's why I
went through that because a lot of people didn't know
that I was in, like, you know, in their type
of state where I'm like, I was just completely confused.
I didn't know. It wasn't like I would have allowed

(41:27):
it to happen to her, And the fact that they
thought that I did showed me how they really felt.
And like I learned down the lot, let it down
the line that it took something like that for me
to understand who they truly were. It took them to
lose their daughter. And like we we don't beef now,
I just don't. We're just not.

Speaker 3 (41:47):
We just I don't want to negate the fact because
I understand they lost a daughter and I can't even
imagine because I haven't been in that experience. But I
just didn't like how everything went about. When they was
blaming you for what happened to her daughter.

Speaker 2 (41:58):
Everybody said that. Everybody said, oh, you had to see it.
When when I did the I'm sure you see me
think my life and yeah, so yeah, so when I
put that out there that I was blamed for her death, Yeah,
I mean that started a whole heap of trouble too.
You know.

Speaker 3 (42:18):
Auntie kept it real and I was like, yes, like,
it's not your fault, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (42:23):
Yeah, she said, for giving them for who they may
not know, for who they made, Yeah, they do and
for what they do, and that's what she told me.
There was a lot of stuff that I wish she
would have put out there on camera, but they had
to make sure they touched on everyone that was in
that series. So, but it was a lot more that
she told me too, as well as leave them where

(42:44):
they are, yeah, and leave them. And she told me
that and so ended up turning what turned out what
ended up happening, was that what that was. She also
she said to me, you just have to you got
you gotta keep you, gotta stay strong and just continue
to go. She said, your cousin loved you, and just

(43:04):
know that. And like I know that. I knew that.
There was no doubt in my mind that she didn't
love me. But it was getting so bad. I was
questioning her too, and she's dead and gone and that
and that's the part where a lot of people did
not understand. I was questioning her too, and she's dead
and going.

Speaker 3 (43:23):
Right, so and I mean I can only imagine question
of like why you were not me or why did you?
Like Yeah, like it's so good because I be watching
on certain stuff and like doing reaching stuff and like
survivans remorse is a real thing.

Speaker 2 (43:36):
It's a real thing. And when you experience something like that.
Until you experience it, you'll never understand it. It's a
real thing, but you'll never understand that process unless it's
something that you go through. And I'm definitely a product
of that, Like you never understand until it's you and.

Speaker 4 (43:50):
You really be mad that they no longer hear.

Speaker 2 (43:52):
Yeah, I was, Oh, I was hordly a set and
it was just like, you know, it was like and
why do I have to go through this? Like what
did I do so bad? But it was all a
part of my journey and I learned that later down
the line. So and but it's just it was just
something that I didn't expect to happen to me. And
I'm like, this is family, This was something that was
supposed to bring us closer to more than anything. That

(44:14):
is not what happened. That is not what happened. And
what with that whole process, it was still like, you know, we,
like I said, we don't speak today. Nor was me
and my old friend that was good?

Speaker 4 (44:27):
Oh I about to ask you that about you and
her still speaking?

Speaker 2 (44:31):
No, we no longer speak.

Speaker 4 (44:35):
Is it because of the situation or it's not.

Speaker 2 (44:38):
That situation post was a problem I looked at it
as people get hurt every day, right, it wasn't about
me being shot. It's the stuff that emotionally took place
after And so with me and her then we had
we already had her issues, but that's what happens, like,
you know, a girl lives with me, like of course
you had rocky rolls with everyone, But I said that

(44:58):
girl family, I would never go anywhere. There was the
stuff that she did after the fact that made me
no longer speak to her. We have gotten into a fight,
We went through a lot, and that's just a piece
of everything that I went through with her. She actually
ended up marrying my cousin, my cousin's brother, which was

(45:20):
weird because the whole city, how things took place, and
what they put me through just to be together. It
was weird. But they won't tell that story, and that's
the part that makes me want to strangle both of them.
But you know, it's it's just like, you know, I
have to move on from this entire situation. So I
moved forward. Good luck to them and whatever they decide

(45:43):
to do. They could milk this story and whatever they
want to do with it, but I moved on, I
see where you're going with that. You don't even have
to say much on that part.

Speaker 3 (45:51):
Yeah, so what would you like the listeners to know
about your cousin?

Speaker 2 (45:56):
She was amazing, right, she she definitely embodied a role model.

Speaker 4 (46:02):
That she was really smart.

Speaker 2 (46:04):
Yeah, she definitely. She was acceptionally start graduated. She was
at the She was number three on our class. She
pretty much got all a's and bees, very very rare
with the bees depending on the time, prame on what
it was about. She definitely got accepted in quite a
few schools. She had a couple of full rides. She

(46:25):
was definitely on her way to start up. When it
came to basketball, she was She scored a thousand points,
but she actually because it was some kind of limitation
of scoring a thousand points back then. I'm not sure
how that works. I don't play basketball, So it was
something about they couldn't record that she scored over a
thousand points. She was well over a thousand points, but
she was a thousand points score, and being a thousand

(46:48):
point score as a point guard, it was a lot.
So I don't I don't understand how that works, but
that was something that that was she was awarded the
w n b A recognized her. They gave her so much.
The school gave her a lot, a lot of recognition
and did articles, so many stories articles, and I can
only like, I can just that's only a piece of

(47:10):
what they've done for her. It was a lie. It
was a lot, and she was an amazing person. And
definitely it's not too many people who genuinely care about people.
And if you do have people that don't even care
about you, will love you for who you are, whether
they blow lated or not. Gold onto. Yeah, telling these niggas.

Speaker 3 (47:30):
Now, I'm serious, Like, I don't think people understand the
value of like relationships. Like when you find good people,
you gotta hold on to people because you don't know
when God's gonna pull that number.

Speaker 4 (47:40):
You don't know what can happen, Like, you really gotta
value people.

Speaker 2 (47:44):
Yeah, And even if y'all have to part race for
whatever reason, make sure you leave a glace, don't don't
leave with the whole Like, oh, we hadn't got into
a bad falling out. Ain't nothing that bad in the
wood that you can't resolve. Yeah, And depending on the
curtains and what it is, have a conversation and get

(48:04):
it right there. That's it. Don't gonna be forward, just
keep just move on if that's the case. But at
least cleaning the air sometimes it is a good thing.
And I had to do that with my old friend too,
like we had to clear the air. But we could
never be friends again. I want to see her eat,
just not at my table with me, especially not writing
no book about me. That's a bar. But yeah, I

(48:24):
saw she had a book out too, or she's working
on a book. Yeah, so you're right, yeah she should up.
So the whole thing was like her talking about me,
saying I would spread rumors about it, but not one
time did she reach out to me. I can show
you and prove it to you because I don't delete nothing.
I'm one of them. I would pull a receipt from

(48:45):
nineteen ninety three and I was born in ninety five,
Like that's just me, so and it was just she
when she did that, it was like, we can't we
can't hang the fact that you never came to me
and talk to me as an adult about what was
going on. We could never again. Like I just said, she,

(49:06):
I want to see your eat, just not at my table, right,
And that actually is a bar two pac setting, and
I choose not to, uh, I choose not to deal
with it in the light of being like angry, I'm
gonna move on. Like I definitely say that you already.

Speaker 3 (49:26):
You have to control your tongue when you're certain emotions,
especially when it comes to anger.

Speaker 2 (49:31):
Because then at one point, I'm like, I was so mad.
Everybody was about to catch these hands. Everybody they were
gonna catch more in these hands, and they kept playing
with me, and that's and that's and that's how I felt.
But it was like for what my mom taught me
very well, and she said to me, you can either
stay here you play this victim roll, or you can

(49:51):
get up and make something out of it. And that's
what I did. I can't just stay there.

Speaker 3 (49:57):
Have you been back to the well, I know the
answer to this, but have you been back to the
nightclub since the shot?

Speaker 2 (50:01):
Yes, yes, yep, I have. They actually flew me out
there to come back to the Glove so and we
when I took my god sister with me and she, uh,
that was her first time because it affected her a
lot because she was supposed to go on a vacation
with me. So like she couldn't make it because she
had already used her time for her honeymoon and all

(50:21):
this other stuff, and it was like everything was just
like all over the place. So she didn't go. But
it was it took a lot out of her, and
never realized how much it affected other people around me. True,
I never realized that until I spoke with her. She
explained it to me for the first time. So I
was just like, oh, like, I never would have known that,
because it was I was too focused on trying to
get myself together, like it, you know, which is fair

(50:42):
like when you had your own healing that you had
to go. But they were a part of the healing process.
So I understood what she meant. But I was just like, still, like,
you know, I never understood how much it affected me
until that moment. Is it hard for you to go
out to clubs? Now? No, Okay, I went. We actually
went to a bar, but now a few months after,

(51:06):
but no, it was like it was actually almost a
year later, because it was. It wasn't a few months after.
It was almost a year later.

Speaker 4 (51:14):
We went to a bar, But.

Speaker 2 (51:15):
That's because my cousin knew the area. She knew he
knew the people that worked there, he knew what is
what around that area. So and he said, if you
feel uncomfortable, we can go home. I will not be
mad at you if you want to go home. And
I said, that's fine. So but we stayed and it
was his third thing we gave him. Definitely wanted to

(51:35):
so he could have jine himself. But we definitely had
a good time.

Speaker 3 (51:39):
So after the shooting, the shooter's wife was acquitted on
her charges because she stated that she didn't know anything
about it.

Speaker 2 (51:47):
What are your thoughts on that? She's a liar? Ya,
I've been saying, how did these women not know? They
seeking with the devil? Yeah? She she claimed she did
not know what was going on. She claims she did,
but she's lying. She's lying. She's a liar. She's a liar,

(52:07):
a big time a liar. And she tried to pull it.
I've been abused all my life, victim car and I'm
just like, but you stayed with him for this long
and then now all of a sudden, he's and he's
a deep crap. Now you want to run? And I
felt like, you know, even if it was a domestic
violence case, there was no they didn't see any reports

(52:27):
of that, right, so, and that was the problem for me.
And they said, they call, they've seen her outside getting
from a run. She was at the club and she
caught like they said, they seen her getting into a
car and leaving. So she's dropped him off. That's what
we were feeling like. But you know, I'm a digress
on that situation because I don't know, but she's reaping

(52:50):
every part of this. I know she is. She's the
one to blame because she knew he was going to
do it. That's the problem. And like, you know, let's
be real, in the black community, you could charge for
going to the store the wrong way. So I'm letting
you know, you get killed for going to the sky

(53:10):
all about the Arizona iced tea. But we're gonna leave
that alone because nobody asked me. So it was just like,
you know, my whole thing is is that you know,
people who get up like you know, who are accomplished
of this and who knew this information and did not
share it to authorities get locked up for this or
for much much much smaller and get killed for much
much more smaller. And the fact that she just was

(53:31):
this was just dropped. And I think it had everything
to do with the fact that this club was a
gay club, and that was the part that did not
sit well with me and nobody nobody took the time
to try to see how or they didn't have the
right people in this case. They didn't had the right
people in this case, and I felt like nobody used
their brains when it came to charging this woman when

(53:53):
it when this went down. So do you feel like
justice was served? No? No, I don't feel like anything
was served, right, I feel like we are we we
got the butt end of the steak. I do I
feel like we got the bat end of the stake
Because there was no justice for posts. We had to

(54:15):
create our own justice. We didn't used That's what I
had to do, turn my pain into a game. As
my cousin would say, like you know she she used
to say that all the time. So I just had
to use it because it was like, we've got no
justice for what happened. So, which is how I got
tied into being a gun violence activist, because there are
people out here, not just myself, who don't receive justice

(54:39):
for the things that happened to them.

Speaker 3 (54:43):
What do you think is the message that is being
sent out to the world when I don't even want
to say that the killer's name because he I don't
want to. He doesn't exactly when his wife is free,
or when the nigga that got shot out the church
they took him to ask him if he wanted a burger,
Like what do you think they send it out there to.

Speaker 4 (55:01):
The world about gun violence.

Speaker 2 (55:03):
Privilege is key, right, Privilege is key. That's what they
send it into the world. Privilege is key you and
as long as you here or you know, and then
you can do things like this and get away with it.
And it's like, you know, it's as small as that,
Like you know, you can do things and get away
with it. But you know, there are reasons that this

(55:25):
is why I feel the way I feel when it
comes to fighting for justice for us, you know, for
gun violence and everything else, because this is the type
of stuff that happens. And like you know, they said,
the message that they send out to the world is
that you can do whatever you want, and especially in America,
anything goes as long as you, you know, don't look

(55:45):
like anybody who's about a few shapes darker than copper
or right, So, and that's and that's something that's what
it's sent out in, you know, especially you know they
p plan the gay community, so so you know, anybody
who it does identify with that realm of people, you

(56:07):
can do what you want.

Speaker 3 (56:09):
I also saw in one of your interviews that another
one of your cousins was killed due to dunbyas right
after the night club shet right yep.

Speaker 2 (56:16):
One month later. Yeah, yet at the end of July
he was shot and killed. He was shot seven times.

Speaker 4 (56:27):
Seventy seven Oh I mean still damn yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (56:31):
So he was shot seven times. It was nothing but
street beef. And it was really unfortunate because it's like
I had just saw him a few days before he
was killed, and I was fussing at him because he
was on a bike, a motorcycle and fell off the
darn motorcycle and scratched the spacet. So to see him
in the casket because he was Muslim, you know, they

(56:53):
don't do like the whole bombing process or anything like that.
So when it goes down, you see the gun means
as is we have one in this space. Yeah, the
few in his face and the rest was in this.

Speaker 3 (57:04):
Chess m yeah, So what are your thoughts on the NRA,
especially since you experienced gun violence and just being from
like we are, from neighborhoods, especially, a lot of my
listeners are from neighborhoods that a lot of people have guns.

Speaker 2 (57:18):
So what are your thoughts about that. I'm not I'm not.
I'm still programming, because I do believe at the moment
that America decided that they wanted to bay the guns,
let's say that what the thing was really not but
let's say it with the thing, if America decided that
they wanted to be and doune or anything like that,
that we America would be in turmoil because of the
the stuff that our leaders have bought up. I think

(57:42):
it's it is definitely a protection because there are some
some severely crazy people out there, and sometimes, you know,
the gun is your only option in some cases. I've
seen people who have been like, you know, tritaising people
and they still came charging at them with weapons, and
it's you know, trying not that you don't want to
kill someone, but you want to stop them in their tracks,

(58:02):
and you know, just learning to shoot but not to kill.
You know, you want to if you're gonna shoot the kill.
That's that's all the behavior that's not that's not street
behavior here. So it's just like it's it's so weird.
It's a weird situation. I am pro gun. However, I
do believe that the NRA has very They have so
many like mixing crany is what I'm gonna call them,

(58:27):
a lot of loopholes, and I feel like it only
applies to those with money or those who look like
the inside of your palms. So it's just like I
feel like that when it comes down to the NRA
and some of their rules they're protect they're not there.
They don't protect the people. At the same time as

(58:47):
well as it just protects their guns. Friends, they can
have their guns, and that's like you know, and they
they haven't been able to purchase assault rifles that are
used in war. It's beyond a mess to me. Yeah,
that's beyond my comprehension. Yeah, And you know, being and
being a part of a board advisor for an organization

(59:10):
in DC have had fun where they endorse candidates to
who fight for our people, especially when it comes to
gun violence and how they're going to address the NRA.
And we also we fight to get the right white
people in office for who deserves the seats to sit in.
So it's just like, you know, being a part of
that process and talking to the senators and sharing that

(59:30):
story with them and understanding like, you know, this man
killed forty nine people with an assault rife and fifty
three people with handguns and whatever else you may have had.
So it's just like there has got to be some limitations.
There need to be strict background checks, There need to

(59:50):
be psychological checks. These people need to see therapists before
they're able to purchase a gun of any kind. I
don't care if it's a small peace shooter, like you know,
this is something that that that's not talked about often
at all. Right, So and that and that's one of
our biggest issues, like the psychological evaluations. Like some example,

(01:00:12):
to shoot it for posts, he has some mental issues
that they knew he had mental issues that they allowed
him to purchase these guns. He used to work in
security as an armed security guard. I read that, and
this man still was able to purchase How him being
able to purchase an assault record as using war It's
completely insane to me.

Speaker 3 (01:00:31):
Yeah, that's that's that's beyond so that don't even make sense, Like, no,
it doesn't, but this is a thing.

Speaker 2 (01:00:38):
This is this is a thing. So the goal is
to let's fight for common sence gun reform because obviously
we all realize that common sense just ain't that kind.
Oh absolutely not child and I learned that too. So,
you know, being knowing this information and trying to apply
it to every little thing that you do, comment sence
isn't really common but also knowing that you know this

(01:00:59):
is this common sense need to be applied to some
of the most uh big some of the most biggest
situations that we had faced in our country.

Speaker 4 (01:01:07):
Now mm hmm, that's not least. What are some steps
that you took towards your healing.

Speaker 2 (01:01:13):
I had a village. Yeah, I spent a lot of
time hitting to reevaluate my subject who I was, because
I quickly forgot who I was and what I what
I fought for all my life, listen to not being
underdog and to not not put myself in situations where

(01:01:36):
I feel like I'm gonna be less than or anything
like that. So I had to remember who I was
for a second and all, and I've ever done so.
My whole thing was let me fight to get myself
out of this. I had the car on that dark
place and craw out of it. But I got here,
and it took a village. It took my godsister, her husband,

(01:01:56):
her family. It took other extended friends and family that
I had. It took my family and business well that
I actually like to help me, right, that's a fact,
like to get me through this fascess. So it was
a lot. But I you know, I remember that makeup
artistry was my thing. Like I never knew how much

(01:02:19):
I loved it until I got right back to And
I got right back to it. In September of that
same year, I went up in my I did a
fashion show, and I never knew how much I loved
my crash until that moment. It's like what I'm in it,
Like when I'm doing makeup, I have tunnel vision. There's
no I don't see nothing else but that. And I
seen your word. You can be the face, thank you,

(01:02:39):
thank you. And I've been doing it since I was
actually a makeup artist long before the shooting. I was
actually started doing makeup September twenty fifteen. Mm hmm, So
those few years later as years Gova I got. I
had opportunities work on the amazing projects and things like that.
And since then I realized as my healing process was
going on, sharing my story was a big part of

(01:03:02):
that and getting in my system. I heard me getting
out of my system. You know. I sometimes you trying
something so much, you're just like Jesus Christ, right and then,
but that helped, It helped, and that it doesn't justify
an him, but it held the whole lot. So sharing
my story and that's how the Global Ethience Awards was

(01:03:22):
birth I was sitting here in my at my god
sister's house and we were having a conversation at like
two o'clock at night, and I was like, you know,
I want to do something that's really rememberable. And it
started out as me talking about my birthday, and I
want to think about having a birthday on the Spirit
of Philadelphia. Not sure if you're heard yet, but it's
a boat here in philadeph culship here in Philadelphia that's
on the period of Pennsilanda. And and I was thinking

(01:03:46):
about having a big all white party. I said, no,
let's cliche. Everybody does that. Right then I was like,
you know, I want to hold okay, So I was like,
you know what, how about I do One thing I
do want to do is host the gallas. She said, okay,
what do you want to host a galla? Poor? I said,
what would the gallap before? And I said, well, I

(01:04:07):
want to honor people at this stuff. She said, okay
for what I said, you know what, I'm want to
honor after this because a lot of times they often
are unseen and are noticed. So what happens is, you know,
or they're seeing is problem people. Those people you see
protesting outside of them buildings or outside of the white
like the White House or on the steps of the
Senator's office or something like that, Like you know, they

(01:04:28):
get and they're not not noticed all the time, or
they're been considered like annoying or pet or pests and
things like that. But that's not what it is. These
people have sense, they're trying to tell you something. It's
crazy that they paid activists more attention now more than
ever since the entire Black Lives movement matter kind of
illuminated since the killing of George Floyd, even though this
has been going on for decades since Lavery, yes, since

(01:04:51):
long long before that, and it's just like you know,
since this has been a thing and it's been illuminated,
now they're paying more attention to it up. Our goal
is to make sure that they get the proper recognition
for what they're for. So next year, in June twenty fifth,
twenty twenty one, I could officially say that we're hosting
a galla to honor those and we already have hot

(01:05:13):
people who are in live for the awards. Because the
awards Schtar was actually supposed to take you this takes
place this year May third, two thousand and twenty. But yeah,
but Keny.

Speaker 3 (01:05:25):
Posted because I will love to attend absolutely, Yeah, ken
posted for sure. Well, I am super proud of you,
like when I'm in Philly because I love going to Philly.
Oh yeah, so when I'm in Philly, I'm gonna definitely
hit you up so we can meet in person. But like,
I know your story is going to like encourage or
inspire so many people to keep going.

Speaker 2 (01:05:47):
Like, yeah, I think you're doing amazing things.

Speaker 4 (01:05:50):
I know your cousin is proud of you, and I'm
just super proud of you.

Speaker 2 (01:05:54):
Like, thank you so much. I really appreciate that absolutely,
Like you have.

Speaker 4 (01:05:59):
People a cheer for you don't even know it, so
like just keep going.

Speaker 2 (01:06:02):
Thank you to my listeners.

Speaker 3 (01:06:05):
If y'all have any questions, comments, or y'all just want
to say hey girl. Have you want to know more
about my guests, please email me at hello at the
pgpodcast dot com And until next time, everyone Later, Lada.
The Professional Homegirl Podcast is a production of the Black

(01:06:26):
Effect Podcast Network. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the
iHeartRadio app, app a podcasts, or wherever you listen to
your favorite shows. Don't forget to subscribe and rate the show,
and you can connect with me on social media at
the PG Podcast

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Eboné Almon

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}PHG REWIND: I Survived The Pulse Nightclub Shooting