The Psychology of your 20s

Survival mode is, at its core, a stress response. When our minds and our bodies are put under extreme stress or believe we are in danger, we can enter a state where all we care about is getting through the next day. This can turn us into a person we're not and make us lose the enjoyment and love for life, but also feel overwhelmed by constant panic and anxiety. In today's episode, we discuss how to break free of survival mode, the ...

We all want long lasting, passionate, meaningful love and in our 20s it can hard to figure out exactly how to find that. With so many 'rules' around what to do, pacing, when to become exclusive, when to say 'I love you', when to move in together, it seems the secret is to go slow and build emotional intimacy. In other words, embrace the power of the slow burn, the 'slowmance' and low pressure beginnings. 

In this episode we are joi...

Is the secret to a happier, less stressful, more connected life actually play? A lot of the research is telling us so! As we get older sometimes we lose a bit of our joy, awe and wonder, and the time we have for our friendships becomes more restricted by work, obligations, distance, commitment and seriousness. In today's episode, let's talk about why the solution to that may be to bring back adult playdates, including: 

• The ps...

Our self doubts are what is keeping us in our own way. It is the foundation for our inner critic to tell us: you're not good enough, you're not talented enough, intelligent beautiful, hardworking to have the life and success you want. When we let our self doubts take control, it often means that we end up self handicapping or sabotaging before we get to the start line. In today's episode we are going to talk about the psychology of...

Today on the podcast we are talking about toxic positivity and the problem with always being positive and putting a fluffy, warm, positive spin on things. Often our unrealistic optimism comes from a good place and our desire to be happy all the time but any person knows that isn't always possible. We break down: 

• The reason we gravitate towards toxic positivity
• What toxic positivity looks like
• The impact of wellness and self h...

We all know what red flags are, they tend to be universal at any age, but there are some redflags that are specific to our 20s, certain features of a relationship during this decade to look out for even if they don't look concerning at first. On today's episode we talk about the five biggest red flags for relationships in our 20s, including: 

1. Relationships that stop you from having experiences
2. Relationships that cause emotiona...

The period after graduation can be really difficult, filled with emotions like grief, anxiety, worry about the future, loneliness and nostalgia as we leave the structure and comfort of college and university for the big, confusing real world. In today's episode we break down the psychology of the post-graduation blues, including: 

• What defines this experience
• How long does it last? 
• The loss of friends as well as security and ...

Very few of us ever receive an education on coping. We are taught bad things happen, we are taught pointless math equations, we are taught to grin and bear it, but not effective psychological ways of integrating stressful, painful, frustrating experiences. In this episode, we break down the psychology of coping mechanisms, including: 

• Problem focused vs. emotion focused coping
• Maladaptive vs. adaptive coping 
• Our most common d...

Conversations seem like they should be the easiest thing in the world, but we all know that sometimes that is not the case! Mental distractions, running out of things to talk about, feeling a bit off, all some of the roadblocks we face. In today's episode we break down FIVE tips to have better conversations: 

1. The 2:1 question ratio
2. The fast friends protocol 
3. Story topping and bright siding 
4. The 5 minute urge 
5. The liking gap 
<...

Love bombing has been a hot topic as of recent, but what does it ACTUALLY mean or entail? In today's episode we are breaking down all of the psychology of love bombing, including: 

• The cultish origin of love bombing
• The three stages of love bombing 
• Why people love bomb?
• The interaction between narcissism and love bombing 
• Intensity addiction and love bombing 
• The five questions for determining: is it love or lovebombing? 

Since the beginning of this show I've been super open about my mental health so I thought I'd share an update (the bad, the good and the really good). Let's normalise talking openly and honestly about what we're going through even when its not pretty  or aesthetic. Thank you for all the support!

Mental Health support in your area: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/ 

Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg

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The thought of having children in our 20s feels like an incredibly adult decision, and is one a lot of us probably don't consider. We want to protect our youth and our freedom a little bit longer, or perhaps have decided we probably will never want children.

But whether you want to have children or not, having a clear understanding of your future intentions or choices, your reproductive health, the kind of person who might make a g...

Struggling with our self worth can often impact how deserving we feel of love. This sense that we may be 'unloveable' causes us to miss out on healthy, fulfilling relationships, self sabotage and stay with people who don't deserve us. In today's episode, we discuss: 

• The origins of why we feel unworthy of love
• Childhood wounds 
• Early romantic scripts and teen romance 
• Repeated rejection and shame
• The consequences of feeling un...

All of us have insecurities when it comes to our appearance, but what happens when these become obsessive and a point of fixation? In today's episode we break down the psychology and pathology of body dysmorphia, including: 

• The origins in childhood experiences
• Family history and influence 
• The differences in expression between men and women
• The relationship between body dysmorphia and cosmetic surgery 
• The influence of toxic ...

We all want to be happier, but are probably sick of hearing about 'exercising more, eating better, sleeping 8 hours'. In today's episode we break down FIVE evidence based tips that are simple, accessible, actionable and inexpensive for becoming a happier person and the research that proves it: 

1. Focus on platonic love over romantic love
2. Small acts of kindness + how we are spending our money wrong and why its making us less happ...

Going 'no contact' after a breakup or relationship breakdown is promoted as one of the best ways to move on from an ex. But why is that the case, and what is the psychology? Is it always that easy?

In today's episode we break down the psychology of going 'no contact': why it works, the science, when it's necessary and how to stay committed, even when it feels impossible. Listen now!

Our notebooks are OUT NOW: https://the-psychology...

You're not imagining it! The job market is getting harder, especially for 20-somethings who are entering the job market for the first time and trying to find their path. In today's episode we break down the psychological toll that the job hunt takes on us, the constant rejections, unrewarded effort, resentment and frustration. We also discuss why our generation has it tougher and it's not just a you problem but also how to improve ...

Our mother wounds represent the unprocessed trauma and insecurities we pick up from the dynamic we each have with the women who raise us and shape us. In today's episode we break down the psychology of our mother wounds including their origin, their impact and their manifestation, from our body confidence to our competition with other women, our ability to trust and connect, our fear of disapproval and chronic people pleasing. 

We ...

We often think the secret to not being passive in our lives is to fill up our days, set countless goals, always be striving for progress and productivity. What if we told you the secret was slowing down? In today's episode I am joined by Caroline and Ann Catherine from Girls with Goals as we discuss: 

• What it beens to be passive vs. active vs. intentional
• How to create momentum 
• Why big, long term goals aren't the secret to su...