The Psychology of your 20s

This is a question I have been asking myself a lot recently as someone who is VERY invested in the self-help space. Have we reached a point where we are too aware of our problems, faults, thoughts, actions and behaviours? Self awareness can free us from so many mental restrictions, it allows us to make better decisions, be a better friend, a better person, invest in our dreams and values. But at some point, we can reach a stage whe...

Many of us battle with a deep-rooted fear and anxiety that those we love will leave us. Maybe we have been hurt in a past relationship, or witnessed a messy divorce or the passing of ones we love and we have unconsciously learned to associated vulnerability, intimacy and love with pain and disappointment. This fear of abandonment can cause us to sabotage otherwise perfectly healthy relationships or to push people away out of an irr...

The new reality of dating in your 20s is that the majority of us who are single are on the dating apps. Tinder, Hinge and Bumble have completely changed how we approach dating by expanding our options, making dating convenient and accessible and are increasingly becoming the way many of us meet our partners. A study conducted by the Pew Research Centre found that almost half of us between 18 and 29 have used a dating app. Yet, this...

A lot of us in our 20s feel the urge to upend everything and move to a new city - maybe for work, for a partner or just for the pure adventure of a new experience and environment. So in this episode we're going to break down why our 20s are perhaps the best time to make this major life change, from the lack of external responsibilities to the psychological benefits it brings, including self reflection, promoting a growth mindset an...

It's been a while since my last life update so I thought we would take a bit of a breather and sit down for a nice chatty episode, just for you all the loyal podcast listeners, discussing all the recent changes and surprises that have been transpiring in my life as of late. From discovering what a healthy relationship looks like after years of tragic dating stories, the end of my single era, to moving to NYC and writing a book (!!!...

Increasingly, those of us in our 20s are facing an exceeding pressure to be exceptional and have a million accomplishments and accolades under our belt. If we are not successful, what are we worth? Examples like the Forbes 30 under 30, the wunderkind phenomena and young success stories all make us feel like we're not achieving enough or are falling behind. Today we're going to break down exactly why we feel this way, using theories...

Each of us deals with feelings of embarrassment, awkwardness and feeling social self conscious every now and then. But social anxiety can cause us a level of emotional, mental and physical discomfort that disrupts out ability to build authentic connection and can hold us back. In this episode we break down the psychology of social anxiety, particularly deconstructing the belief that everyone is judging us or that the opinions of ot...

In this week's episode we discuss the psychology of your ego and what its trying to tell us! Ego can feel nasty and entitled but it comes from a place of deep insecurity that we need to unpack before we can truly understand ourselves. We look at the 6 signs your ego is in control, where ego comes from and how to replace it with self esteem and humility. We also discuss why ego and self confidence are different things even though th...

Love, dating and friendships can feel like a black box in our 20s when we're trying to make the most out of our formative years. None of us have the answers or a guide to some of our biggest questions - how do I actually make new friends, how many friends should I have, should I be settling down this early or exploring my options? In part two of this series we breakdown how to make the most out of our personal relationships during ...

How do we actually make the most of our 20s? Career anxiety, feeling stuck, taking risks and managing our money (do we spend or save) are all big concerns we have in this period. So how do we manage these dilemmas and choices to create our dream life in our 20s, and what does that dream life even look like? In part one of our mini series, we examine the major decisions we make during this decade around our future and how we can app...

Trauma seems like a bit of a black box at times, something that we all experience as part of our life journey as humans but surrounded by a lot of misinformation. In this episode, we are joined by our guest, Dr MC McDonald, author of The Trauma Response Is Never Wrong to break down all of the science and psychology behind why we react to trauma the way we do, suppressed memories, what actually counts as 'traumatic' and the impact o...

Love and attachment feel very similar, and it's very easy to confuse the two especially in the early stages of dating when we are overwhelmed by infatuation and the novelty of a new relationship. However, they are very different. Whilst love is a deliberate choice, mutual, selflessness, and long lasting, attachment is unconscious, can be one-sided and based on what serves our needs. Confusing these two feelings can cause us to purs...

In this episode, I want to talk about depression. And not just from a psychological and scientific perspective but also from a personal perspective, sharing parts of my story. It's not something I've talked about much on the podcast but recently I've really come to terms with my own shame and stigma and I want to discuss where I'm at now, the journey I've been on and how its impacted the life I've created for myself in my 20s. We'r...

Everyone is talking about healing our inner child, but what about our inner teenager? We experience certain things in adolescence that we don't experience as children and these can manifest in different behaviours, defence mechanisms and emotional wounds that continue with us into adulthood. Whilst the inner child is seen as gentle and vulnerable, the inner teen may be angry, misunderstood and lonely. So in this episode we break so...

All of us are going to mess up. In our 20s and every decade thereafter. But its what we choose to do with those mistakes that's important. In this episode we explore why we often regret past decisions and actions, looking at the development of our brain and personality, we also explore the distinction between regret and guilt and why both emotions may actually be protecting us from future pain. Part of this is understanding the dif...

It’s something we all inevitably experience in our dating lives, the pain of a break-up, saying goodbye to someone we loved and then, one day, the realisation that your ex has moved on and is with someone new. It can be incredibly confronting and painful, so today we're going to explore exactly why it hurts, even if deep down, we know we were never going to work. We will dive into the psychological ideas and theories behind rosy re...

This week we're discussing the secret and the science behind the healing powers of nature. Our generation has become increasingly detached from the outdoors and our wild roots, with over 90% of our days spent indoors or on a screen, often at the expense of our mental wellbeing, sense of self, psychological and spiritual connection with the land and overall physical health. In this episode we explore ideas around nature deficit diso...

Independence is highly regarded as an admirable personality trait - we are obsessed with people who are self made, who solo travel, pay their own bills and don't seem to need anyone. However, our sense of independence can become problematic when we approach the point of hyper-independency. Hyper-independence refers to an excessive sense of self sufficiency and self reliance, in which we deny the help of others, prefer doing things ...

So often in life, we are our own worst enemies. The meanest and loudest voice in our head is our own. So why are we so hard on ourselves? In this episode we break down the psychological underpinnings behind our inner critic, from the proposed evolutionary role of negative self talk, to the influence of our upbringing including the distinction between conditional and unconditional positive regard, parental expectations and childhood...