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May 20, 2024 14 mins

Hello, Puzzlers! AJ has a new book out! You can order "The Year of Living Constitutionally" right now!.

Puzzling with us today: host of Chopped on the Food Network, Ted Allen!

Join host A.J. Jacobs and his guests as they puzzle–and laugh–their way through new spins on old favorites, like anagrams and palindromes, as well as quirky originals such as “Ask Chat GPT” and audio rebuses.

Subscribe to The Puzzler podcast wherever you get your podcasts! 

"The Puzzler with A.J. Jacobs" is distributed by iHeartPodcasts and is a co-production with Neuhaus Ideas. 

Our executive producers are Neely Lohmann and Adam Neuhaus of Neuhaus Ideas, and Lindsay Hoffman of iHeart Podcasts.

The show is produced by Jody Avirgan and Brittani Brown of Roulette Productions. 

Our Chief Puzzle Officer is Greg Pliska. Our associate producer is Andrea Schoenberg.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, it's AJ. Before today's puzzling puzzle, a quick announcement,
if you are in the New York area, come see
us live. The Puzzler is doing a night of puzzling
on Wednesday, May twenty ninth at the Midnight Theater in
New York. We did one of these shows a few
months ago and it was a blast. So if you come,
you'll get plenty of puzzles, jokes, jests, prizes, audience participation,

(00:23):
more puzzles. Chief Puzzle Officer Greg Pliskelbi. There special guest
Faith Sailing, So please go to the Puzzler dot com
to get tickets. We've also put a link in the
show notes and we hope to see there. Thanks. Hello, puzzlers,
Welcome to the Puzzler Podcast the Chocolate Puzzle Fountain in

(00:46):
your sweet sixteen celebration. I am your host, AJ Jacobs,
and today's guest is the great Ted Allen, host of
Chopped cookbook author, most importantly, my former colleague at Esquire Magazine.

Speaker 2 (01:07):
Welcome Ted, Thank you, Aj. It's great to be with you.

Speaker 1 (01:10):
We are delighted to have you. I honestly believe you
are the most famous Esquire Magazine alum since Ernest Hemingway, I.

Speaker 2 (01:21):
Hope that's not true. That can't possibly be true. It is.

Speaker 3 (01:25):
I'm I'm certainly not the best writer the magazine ever produced, boy,
but I cherished that time.

Speaker 2 (01:31):
Honestly, working in magazines.

Speaker 3 (01:34):
While not the most lucrative job I've ever had, although
it was at the time, certainly.

Speaker 2 (01:38):
When I got to Esquire, I couldn't believe it.

Speaker 3 (01:41):
Working for magazines was actually my favorite job that I
except for the times when I actually had to write
something and then I was miserable. Of course, you seem
to enjoy it, which is disgusting, but and it sells
when you write it.

Speaker 2 (01:55):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:57):
I absolutely disagree with that. I enjoy it. I okay,
As a writer, I absolutely despise writing. I like the research,
I like talking about it after it's done, but the
actual sitting in a room, I mean, it is just miserable.

Speaker 3 (02:11):
Yeah, the fun part is writing the lead. The rest
of it is like cleaning out the worst messy basement
in the world.

Speaker 1 (02:18):
That is a good point, I will tell you. I like.
My favorite thing to write is the letters TK, which
for those who aren't in journalism, means to come. It's
like when you don't know what to say. You just
say TK, So I usually write the first sentence, then
I say middle section TK and section TK and then
send it off. But you have since gone on to greatness,

(02:41):
and you have, among many other shows, you are the
host of Chopped on the Food Network, where the premise
is people are given a basket filled with mystery ingredients
and they have to work their magic and make an
edible meal out of that. Is that? Did I sum

(03:03):
it up? Semi crash?

Speaker 2 (03:04):
You did?

Speaker 3 (03:05):
You did well, and you just left out the fact
that many of the ingredients are truly horrible, horrible.

Speaker 1 (03:11):
What was the worst, most horrible one.

Speaker 3 (03:13):
We recently did a tournament in which I got to
spin a wheel. I was very excited about that, called
spin it to win it. And there was one ingredient,
a very valuable ingredient, the highest value ten thousand dollars
to that ingredient beef bile, actual bile.

Speaker 1 (03:29):
Bile like, so that's what was Then the liver, where's the.

Speaker 3 (03:33):
Bubble the bile duct isn't Then on the pancreas or something,
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (03:37):
And it's not tasty. I've never had bile. Maybe it's delicious,
very not tasty, very acidic, very smelly, smells horrible, smells chemical.

Speaker 3 (03:48):
In Filipino cooking, it's sometimes used to add a bitter
note to the stew right. I hope you were going
to ask me a question about that, and I just
blew it.

Speaker 2 (03:55):
Sorry, it was a.

Speaker 1 (03:57):
Little bit about the bial Yeah, that was our main
publish Well, no, I but thank you. That's news I
can use. I will stay away from Beef File, but
at least it's not I saw the Saturday Night Live
parody of Chopped where they had ingredients like cigarettes, live kittens,

(04:19):
and private parts of horses. What was it like being
portrayed on SNL.

Speaker 3 (04:24):
Well, it was really a thrill, except for the fact that,
just as so often when we were portrayed in other
places like on South Park, my character didn't get any lines,
which is kind of a pretty accurate reflection of the
way things went down on Queer Eye.

Speaker 2 (04:40):
You know, I'm not saying it's inaccurate.

Speaker 1 (04:43):
Well, we want to hear you talk on this show.
And by the way, for those who didn't catch that,
of course, you probably know Ted Allen before he was
on Chopped, was one of the original cast members of
Queer Eye. For the straight Guy, which was how he
first vaulted from magazines into television.

Speaker 3 (05:02):
I'll never forget when I told our editor that that's
why I was leaving.

Speaker 2 (05:05):
He thought I was insane. And the next time I
saw him was on the red carpet at the MTV
Music Awards and he said, well, I guess you made
the red call.

Speaker 1 (05:18):
I think you did. Even though Esquire still publishes, so
knock on what it keeps going for a little more.

Speaker 2 (05:25):
And I still subscribe out of all.

Speaker 1 (05:28):
Right, well we are this show. This puzzle is in
honor of your show, Chopped, your current show, and it's
a puzzle where we chopped foods. We figure, why should
you be the only one? So we took foods and
we chopped them into parts, and I'm going to give
you clues to the different parts. They're two different parts,
and then you put them together and we'll have a

(05:49):
delicious food. And by the way, my son Zaye, who
loves to cook, he's our chef. He helped me write this.
So here is thank you saying, here's an example to
give you a taste, no pun intended.

Speaker 2 (06:03):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (06:03):
The first part when I chopped this fruit up. The
first part is something you might download on your iPhone.
Plus the opposite of push, So the first part is
an app you might download on your iPhone, an app.
The opposite of push is pull app pull. You put
them together and you get Oh, I see you Apple,

(06:26):
Apple exactly. All right, Okay, you're in, you buy it?

Speaker 2 (06:31):
I might be ready.

Speaker 1 (06:31):
Now you seem skeptical.

Speaker 2 (06:34):
I seem puzzled, frankly.

Speaker 1 (06:36):
All right, well that's good. We want you to be
a little puzzled. All right, this is a vegetable, and
when you chop it up, the first part is blank.
The bottle a game at teen party, plus what a
mosquito bite makes you do? So put them together, unchop them.

Speaker 2 (06:52):
For I've got it. I think this is a leaf. Yes,
it is very healthy, packed with vitamins and nutrients. Shall
I go ahead and say it?

Speaker 4 (07:03):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (07:04):
I think is a kale? Is that where you're going towards?

Speaker 2 (07:06):
I'm sensing spinach?

Speaker 1 (07:07):
Spinach? Exactly spin itch.

Speaker 2 (07:11):
So there kale.

Speaker 3 (07:13):
The restaurants want to want to serve you as kale
because it lasts forever.

Speaker 1 (07:17):
Interesting. I didn't know that was the secret. So they're
just trying to save money.

Speaker 2 (07:22):
Absolutely all right?

Speaker 1 (07:23):
You ready for another chopped food. Let's go all right,
this is kind of a chopped dip. It's what I'm
doing here plus a twenty nineteen horror film by director
Jordan Peel. Uh uh, we'll break it down.

Speaker 2 (07:44):
Wait, what was the first part?

Speaker 1 (07:45):
What I am doing here? How when I'm demonstrating here?

Speaker 2 (07:48):
Hmmmmmm oh oh oh, okay. What was the second part?

Speaker 1 (07:56):
A twenty nineteen horror film by director Jordan Peel about
scarypic gangers. Yes, it was one after get Out.

Speaker 2 (08:04):
I don't remember what that was called.

Speaker 1 (08:06):
Well, it's also alternate clue for the second part. Well,
first of all, tell us, tell us what's the first part?
Do you know the first part?

Speaker 2 (08:14):
Is it? Hum?

Speaker 1 (08:15):
Hum? That's right? So the second part is also a
it was a weekly or is a weekly entertainment magazine?
Not people, but the other one.

Speaker 2 (08:25):
Uh a weekly entertainment magazine.

Speaker 1 (08:29):
Weekly, celebrity magazine, blank weekly.

Speaker 2 (08:33):
Oh hummus, hummus.

Speaker 1 (08:37):
Exactly. You nailed this. I doubt that was way back
when though, that was like ages ago. All right, you ready,
how about you chop up this. This is a breakfast food,
you chop it up. The first part is where you
might spend some time sitting on the dock, according to
otis redding. Yes, louss the opposite of pro. So break

(09:01):
it down. What's the first.

Speaker 2 (09:02):
Part where you might be sitting on a dog?

Speaker 1 (09:06):
Well, bye, you might? Yeah, you just said it.

Speaker 2 (09:09):
Okay, all right, So by the dock of the blank?
Got it?

Speaker 1 (09:14):
And then the opposite opposite of pro. If you have
a list of pros and bacon, bacon, bacon exactly, that's it.
You get it. You seem so you're not sure, you
say the BayCon and then you get it.

Speaker 2 (09:29):
All right.

Speaker 1 (09:29):
This one I'm interested in because I want to ask
you about this food. This is the fourteenth letter of
the alphabet. You might. I hope you don't have to count,
you might.

Speaker 2 (09:42):
I would have to count. I started.

Speaker 3 (09:45):
Okay, I still sing the alphabet song whenever I have
to recite the alphabet.

Speaker 1 (09:49):
Which oh ABC that one?

Speaker 2 (09:51):
Okay, that's sad.

Speaker 1 (09:52):
I know, fourteenth letter of the alphabet plus what you
should never do in the shallow end of a pool.
Maybe he can work backwards. What's that second part.

Speaker 2 (10:04):
What you should never do in the shallow and? Oh?
I got it, I got it.

Speaker 1 (10:09):
I know the product will say it, we want it.

Speaker 3 (10:12):
Well, I'll never forget one time on Queer I Tom
Felicia mercilessly made fun of me because I pronounced and
dive on deve.

Speaker 2 (10:20):
And he said, did you just say on deve? What
is wrong with you? You're from Ohio and the lovely
bitter spears.

Speaker 1 (10:28):
Well, that's what I wanted to ask you. I mean,
is it on or and dive or is there a difference?

Speaker 2 (10:34):
That's what you were going to ask me. If your
friends it's on.

Speaker 1 (10:38):
De okay I am.

Speaker 3 (10:40):
Or if you're if you're incredibly pretentious from Ohio And
I don't know. I don't usually say, but I did
that time, and he really raked over the court.

Speaker 2 (10:52):
I deserved it.

Speaker 1 (10:54):
Well this time he said and dive, because that's what
I wanted you to say, all right. Last one as
what you what you might use to open a lock,
plus what you might say when you're going down a slide.
It's a fruit, what you might oh I oh, he
got Yes, it is a.

Speaker 2 (11:15):
Fuzzy, fuzzy fruit that's green on the inside with obnoxious seeds.

Speaker 1 (11:19):
The kiwi the kiwai egg exactly doesn't have obnoxious seeds.

Speaker 2 (11:24):
I didn't know that it's got little black seeds.

Speaker 1 (11:28):
Oh right, right, right, all right, Well that was fantastic.
See you did it, nozz, you warmed up. Yeah, you
told me earlier that you are not a puzzler, but
I think you proved yourself wrong.

Speaker 2 (11:40):
Oh good.

Speaker 1 (11:42):
Where can people see more of your non puzzling content.

Speaker 3 (11:46):
Well, part of this is for me to believe we
are in our i think our fifteenth year of shooting chopped,
which is something to be perhaps a little worried about,
but more than anything else, it's still suck.

Speaker 2 (12:00):
So we're just going to keep doing it.

Speaker 3 (12:02):
And we just finished actually a run of fifty two
of them, so I think I think the network is
sticking with us for the time being.

Speaker 1 (12:10):
That is a met Well that's why you have to
go to the bile. You're running out of ingredients.

Speaker 2 (12:17):
Yeah, makes sense. That's one thing. We're never going to
run out of disgusting ingredients.

Speaker 3 (12:21):
We have a really, really talented team of culinary people
who are quite good at finding the nasty for them.

Speaker 1 (12:28):
That's a fun job. Actually, yeah yeah, all right, Well
before we leave, we have an extra credit for the
folks at home. When you chop up this legume, you
might get the opposite of borrowed plus another word for
sick opposite of borrowed plus another word for sick. Tune

(12:52):
in next time to get the answer, and as always,
you can subscribe. It's very easy to subscribe to the
Puzzler podcast and almost as easy as just to keep
five stars. That's all and we will meet Thanks Ted,
I love thepup support. We'll meet you here tomorrow for
more puzzling puzzles that will puzzle you puzzlingly.

Speaker 4 (13:18):
Hi, Puzzler's Chief puzzle Officer Greg Blisk here with the
extra credit answer from our previous show where I mispronounced
eponyms as eponym's. We were playing with Eric oakrint and
the eponym I asked you to identify came with this clue.
It sounds like the portmanteau of a man's name and
a dragon like monster, and it is a political cartoon

(13:41):
that showed the South Essex Congressional District bearing an odd
shape as created by the Massachusetts governor, gave rise to
this term. I bet many of you got this one.
The answer was Jerry Mander. Jerry Mander was named for
the governor of Massachuset. It's Elbridge Gary.

Speaker 2 (14:02):
His name was.

Speaker 4 (14:02):
Actually pronounced Gary. Later was vice president to Madison, and he,
against his will, created a very odd shaped congressional district
that looked a little bit like a salamander, the old
kind of fire breathing dragon beast. And so that's where
we got the word glad to have you playing along
with us, and I hope to catch you again next time.
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Greg Pliska

Greg Pliska

A.J. Jacobs

A.J. Jacobs

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