November 5, 2024 • 18 mins
Hello, Puzzlers! Puzzling with us today: comedian and radio personality John Fugelsang!
Join host A.J. Jacobs and his guests as they puzzle–and laugh–their way through new spins on old favorites, like anagrams and palindromes, as well as quirky originals such as “Ask Chat GPT” and audio rebuses.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Welcome to the Puzzler Podcast, the warming filter on your
puzzle iPhone camera. I am your host, Ajy Jacobs, and
I am here with our guest, the great John Fugel Sank,
who is a brilliant stand up comic, a writer and
(00:27):
a host of the show tell me everything on Sirius XM.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Welcome John, Thank you. It's great to be back in
spider popular demand. Hey Jack, thank you.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Well, Yes, we decide to sometimes go the opposite way.
Now you are, in addition to being a radio host
a brilliant stand up you have a one man show
that you did that everyone should see and that we'll
talk about next episode. But did you enjoy humor as
a kid? What was your favorite joke or riddle as
a kid?
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Oh lord, I mean it's hard to remember. When I
was about four or five, I saw The Marx Brothers
and Horse Feathers and that was the first funny live
action thing I ever saw. And I've been a huge
Marx Brothers fan ever since age four, and I still
think Horse Feathers is their their second funniest movie. And
then when I was maybe five or six, Don Rickles
(01:20):
had a sitcom called CPO sharky. Yeah, it was enough
to remember him insulting recruits in a military base. And
I Don Rickles made me laugh so hard when I
was eight years old. And then my mom let us
watch the beginning of the Andy Kalpman Network special what
he began it as the foreign guy and turned into
(01:40):
Elvish And it was the most just watching him do
his Archie Bunker impression as the foreign guy. My mother
didn't understand it. My brother and I were rolling on
the floor with laughter, like eight years old, ma, eight,
I was not older than eight.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
So I can say at a very at a very
early age before fourth grade, Don Rickles, Andy Kaupman, and
the Marx Brothers all had a big impact on me.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Excellent choice is and I will say I too love
the Marx Brothers. Although can you imagine if you were
in a comedy movie like a Family Brothers movie and
one of the stars started playing a harp solo for
ten minutes.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
It's hard to imagine today it's hard to imagine. But
I mean, but they're musical numbers. I mean back then,
you know, the studios made that you had to have
the musical number, and it breaks up the comedy. Chico's
piano playing is never not wonderful. I can watch Chiccko
Marx play piano all day, and some of them have.
I mean, the first time I ever watched a big
(02:38):
budget all African American musical number in a movie was
in A Day at the races. Like, the Marx Brothers
did a lot in terms of musical work, and you know,
some of it works better than others. But yeah, I
thought Harpo was part of his genius, that he could
be so so chaplain esque and irreverend and then just
sit down and show what an accomplished musician he was.
(02:58):
It still bursts my mind. Kids, little kids will slow
down and watch Harpo play the damn harp like. They'll laugh,
and then they'll watch it.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Yeah, look at this, people, we are getting comedy history.
This is not just a puzzle show. You also get in.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
I'm just stalling because I'm terrified of they.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
No more stalling this show. This episode is about humor
and kids humor. In particular. The puzzle is called Kids
Riddle Peril. Now peril is a synonym for Jeopardy, which
is a copyrighted term, so we can't use it. The
title of this puzzle, but it is called Kid's Riddle
peril wink wink, and it goes like this, I'm gonna
(03:35):
give you the punchline to a riddle and you are
gonna have to try to figure out the setup. And
it is no, no, you got it. They're all puns.
And I'll I will. If you're in the area, I
am gonna give you a thumbs up. You don't have
to get the exact word. But here's an example. If
the punchline is they go to the moves, then the
(03:58):
you would say, oh that, that's what do cows do
on a Saturday night or the weekend. So that's the
that's the framing. Okay, okay, are you ready?
Speaker 2 (04:09):
No, I should have brought my seventh grader with me.
He's very quick for this. But let's let's get a
shot exactly.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
You can call him. You can call him if needed. Uh,
all right, The punchline is because it was framed. Because
it was framed, what might be the setup to that?
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Hilarious? Why did the painting go to jail?
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Wow? Why did the picture go to prison? I'm torn
whether to give you credit, but I will nicely done.
Very look at that. See no need.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
To painting's going frames too. Paintings you know it works.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
Oh no, As the chief puzzle officer, I'm giving John
credit for that.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
I've had to cut lots of paintings to make them
fit frames, so I know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
By the way, that was Greg Plisko weighing in with
his Solomon like yes, judgment, Thank you Greg, Thank you Greg.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
For joining us.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
I'm on your side.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
John.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
We'll see, we'll see how this one goes. The punchline
is a monkey wrench? A monkey wrench?
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Well, what do you use to fix monkey bars?
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Nice? There you go, Okay, I like it. It is
in the area. It was more, but uh, I'll give it.
It was what did the zoo keeper use to unlock
the cage?
Speaker 2 (05:24):
But you got okay?
Speaker 1 (05:25):
It was monkey the animal and monkey wrench and I
was too lazy to look up why a monkey wrench is.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
I'm actually giving John credit and taking away your credit.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
I think so too. I'm inclined to agree. I don't
actually think you would let a monkey out of a
cage with the wrench.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
But they interesting.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
I know logic, it's very important to this show.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
What tool did the zoo keeper use to break into
the cage. Maybe god break but unlock it. He'd used
the monkey key.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Well, don't or listen, don't blame the messenger here. I
took it to directly from one hundred and one hilarious turning.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
And I'll be I'll be hosting this show by next year.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
I'll still take over, right all right, Well, I'm going
to try to redeem myself. It felt crummy. That's the punchline.
It felt crummy.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Uh why did the guy stop wearing cookies for clothing?
Speaker 1 (06:24):
I I nice, nice that edible clothing. I can see that.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Why why did the guys stop wearing Why did the
guy stop wearing his his suit made of cookies? That's
there's my there's my crummy you.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Got you got the key now, cookie.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
Bizarre imagination is what you've got.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
That's true. This is a much more visual yours is
a much more interesting visual than I think.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Maybe you know it all. Maybe I just take different
medications that you a j that's that, but thank you.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
I can. I was gonna I would have said. My
guess on behalf of John is why did the cookie
go to the doctor? Not Ah, that.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Happens to be the actual medication spurred that idea.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Why did why did the cookie think it was suffering
from clinical depression?
Speaker 1 (07:12):
I'll because it knew it was made to be killed,
like its whole purpose was to be ingested by another being.
So yeah, it's a bad existence.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
This gout very existentially.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
All right.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
I got a couple more for you. You're doing excellent. What
about this? Because they can't elope? They can't elope, And
I could say it in a different way that would
clue it more.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Please just say it in a different way theould clue it.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Okay, they can't elope, they can't elope.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Oh this is good because I got it. I got it.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Why did the orange marry the melon in a church?
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Ooh? Nice?
Speaker 2 (08:05):
I like that.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
You're endorsing inter fruit marriage.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Well, you know, as long as we're blaspheming.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
Well this says why did the melons choose not to
get married? Here we go, But but I prefer yours,
because yeah, I think fruits should be. Isn't there a
fruit combinations? Like what are they now?
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Tangello and jellos? Yes?
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Yeah? Or the other ones cranapple, thank you?
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Other things they pump full of sugar to sell the
children because parents think it sounds healthy.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
Yes, any fruit should be able to marry any other fruit.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Yes, lovely, lovely sentiment, Thank you Greg. All right, one more,
and that is I can't decide both. Neither of these
is stellar, all right, but I'm gonna do it anyway.
(09:04):
All right, A buck and ear, A buck and ear.
That's the punchline. A buck the U C K and
ear E A R. So what is the setup? And
again I could say this in a way that would
clue it more easily for you.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
No, no, we got it.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
Oh it is a buck and ear a buck and ear?
What does a pirate cannibal charge for body parts?
Speaker 1 (09:35):
Wow? You know?
Speaker 3 (09:37):
And you're twisted. Imagine it's so close.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
I'm so low now. My favorite joke as a kid
was a little guy. A little guy goes so on
Halloween is a pirate and the lady says, oh, a pirate,
where are your buccaneers? And the kid says, under my
bucking hat. That's my favorite joke as a kid.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
That's okay, that is, but.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
I don't know, if I don't know, if I slid
under the wire enough with my answer.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Aging, well, this is I will give you for the
cannibal I prefer I prefer this one is a Yes,
this is the cannibal.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
You were gonna say, what does a pirate pay for corn?
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Went for corn? I said, I'm sorry, I was wrong.
Ear sorry uh.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
And by the way, when my son and I'm gonna
have to get permissions for him because he may not
want me to tell this, but when he was a kid,
he he had his favorite joke was a cannibal themed joke,
but he said cannon ball instead of cannibal, So it
was very abstract and sort of data absurdist because it's like,
cannon balls don't eat each other.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
But who joke is this? You can say his name?
Speaker 1 (10:41):
I give your permission, Zane Jacobs. Who is? Who is
who helps out in the puzzler? By the way, now
he knows, and now he probably would write a puzzle
based on that.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Well, yeah, now we will know why he never watched
The Cannonball rud He thought it was a totally different movie.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
Exactly all right, So we have I wanted to, since
you are one of my favorite comedians, tell me what
was I don't think I know this, even though I
know a good amount about you. What was your first
stand up routine? Where was it and what did you
talk about?
Speaker 2 (11:15):
My first stand up routine I ever did was an
open mic at the Old Boston Comedy Club in Greenwis Village,
New York City, and it was a long night. I
was so scared to do an open mic, so I
finally invited everybody I knew so I couldn't back out
of it. That was a mistake because I was the
only guy to do an open mic with like twenty
five people in the audience. And when the club realizes
(11:38):
that one of the open micers has twenty five people
in the audience on a Monday night, the club's going
to make that guy go last. Oh no, So they
kept bumping me. And I saw every comic who became
a great comic in the nineties, went on to Havan
Chappelle and Jeff Bross when he was still Liftsheltz and
tell so many Wally Collins. I followed so many great
(12:00):
that I know and became friends with. I had to follow.
And I did a routine about the first ever Shakespearean
gangster rap play, which was called The Taming of the Hoe,
and it featured all kinds of great hip hop. So
dost thou diss me, nay, I dis thee not you know,
went on like that for about four hours.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
So that's kind of puzzly. That is like we take
titles and we try.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
But was the funny thing was when I finally got
on stage to do it and I got the light
at six minutes, I was like, no, screw you guys.
You've been selling drinks to my people all night and
I did twenty minutes at my first open night. I
was already a belligerent diva for my first I already
like it was like I cracked the code, and I'm like, no, no, no, no,
you made you bumped me all night to make my
(12:46):
people keep on buying drinks. I'm doing as much time
as I want. And they invited me back to do
a set after that.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
That is remarkable. That is I mean, you had twenty
minutes as the first time or that.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
I always think I was in suffer believe, and then.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Now one of the reasons I never pursued stand up
comedy aside from the lack of talent, was I'm so
afraid of bombing and heckling. But everyone does it. They're
all like, yeah, Dave Chappelle, I bombed So what is
it like, assuming you are one of the everybody, what
does that feel like? Like do you have a memorable occasion?
Speaker 2 (13:23):
I mean you have to do it, you know, and
it's kind of great in a way because you got
to pay the comedy gods, you know what I mean,
Like like if you keep getting up and you know,
like I'll do touring dates on the weekends and I'll
play like nice thousand seater two thousand seater theaters with
this tour I do, and then and then you got
to go work out the material on the weeknights and
you know, the Sundays, and if you are always falling
(13:46):
back on the material, you know, kills because you want
every audience to like you, You're never going to grow
and you're going to have the same twenty minutes your
whole life. So I view it as paying the comedy gods.
When you bomb, it is awful, but you really it
has to be done. You have to go through that,
and it's sort of a beautiful yin Yang period. That
has made me handle disappointment and failure and pain a
(14:09):
bit better in life because I've sort of learned bad
experiences mean good stories. So when something hellacious happens to
me with a flight problem or whatever. Like, I'm always like, oh,
I hope it gets really bad so I can turn
it into a bit. And it's sort of a great
way to manage life to remember that all the more
awful something is, the better a story you'll get. And
(14:29):
that story will either make people laugh or if it's
a really bad story, it'll make people feel less alone
when bad things happen to them. So comedy sort of
sort of taught me the yin yang.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
That is great, and I love that concept too. I
actually wrote about it, because you know, not as a
stand up but as a writer. Yeah, I want bad
things to happen to be too. I call it self
shot in Freuda or auto shot in Freud of the
joy nice you get when you are seeing, like something
really horrible as ama.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
I love that. I take, I take a satisfaction. I
enjoy the suffering of people who don't know what schadenfreuder means.
So that really works.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
Excellent. Yes, I wonder what that is called. There must
be a German word for people.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
Who enjoy the suffering of others.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
Yeah, exactly, all right, best piece of comedy advice you
ever got? Who or maybe you never got advice.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
No, I got tons of advice, But what was the
best piece I ever got?
Speaker 1 (15:31):
Worst? We always were equal opportunity.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
When I was fifteen years old, it's not stand up
or say. But when I was fifteen years old, I
was in a production of Pirates of Penzance in regional theater.
I was getting paid a bunch of grown ups and
I was six feet tall, so I was cast as
a pirate. And I'm not a good dancer aj And
every time I made a mistake, I would like, h
like indicate damn it. I screwed it up with my
(15:56):
face in the middle of rehearsal. And after rehearsal one night,
the director who worked with my dad as a teacher
took me aside and said, if you ever make a
face when you mess up again on stage, I will
physically beat you. Wow And ever since then, and I
(16:16):
never forgot he said I will. I am not joking,
he said, I will physically beat you if you ever
make a face when you make a mistake again.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
So that was yes.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
I knew, he's go and it's yeah. And it taught
me at age fifteen, when you screw up, you plow
through it and keep on going. And God bless Donald
Trump for showing me you can do that for decades
without any kind of growth. It's a beautiful way to
go through life.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
That is good advice. I'm not sure I love the
physical threatening, but listen, if it worked, it worked, I'm
not gonna mark you. I probably won't adopt that with
my kids.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
I saw that guy a few months ago. He's in
his eighties now, and I thanked him for it.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Well, now, he probably can't do much harm if he
tries to beat you up.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
Thanked him, thanked him. Then you slapped him.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
Across the face. Well, thank you, John. I've got a
quick extra credit for the folks at home before we
wrap up, which is I'm the Wiener. I'm the wiener.
That is the punchline. So what is the setup? And
(17:23):
while you're thinking about it, please check out the puzzler
Instagram feed. We put new puzzles off all the time.
It's very fun in my opinion. It's at Hello puzzlers,
Hello puzzlers, and we will meet you here tomorrow for
more puzzling puzzles that will puzzle you puzzlingly.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
Hello puzzlers.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
It's Greg Plisko, your chief puzzle officer, here with the
extra credit answer from our previous episode, we played a
game with John fugel Sang that we called politically Incorrect,
where we imagined what someone who didn't know anything about
American politics would interpret certain common political or government related
phrases as so, the misunderstood definition for this is this
(18:08):
is a receptionist or assistant who deals with things inside
the home, and that of course would be the Secretary
of the Interior.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
Very nicely done. John was a great guest. Then we
hope you will come back for more puzzling puzzles that
puzzle you puzzlingly
Welcome to the Puzzler Podcast, the warming filter on your
puzzle iPhone camera. I am your host, Ajy Jacobs, and
I am here with our guest, the great John Fugel Sank,
who is a brilliant stand up comic, a writer and
(00:27):
a host of the show tell me everything on Sirius XM.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Welcome John, Thank you. It's great to be back in
spider popular demand. Hey Jack, thank you.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Well, Yes, we decide to sometimes go the opposite way.
Now you are, in addition to being a radio host
a brilliant stand up you have a one man show
that you did that everyone should see and that we'll
talk about next episode. But did you enjoy humor as
a kid? What was your favorite joke or riddle as
a kid?
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Oh lord, I mean it's hard to remember. When I
was about four or five, I saw The Marx Brothers
and Horse Feathers and that was the first funny live
action thing I ever saw. And I've been a huge
Marx Brothers fan ever since age four, and I still
think Horse Feathers is their their second funniest movie. And
then when I was maybe five or six, Don Rickles
(01:20):
had a sitcom called CPO sharky. Yeah, it was enough
to remember him insulting recruits in a military base. And
I Don Rickles made me laugh so hard when I
was eight years old. And then my mom let us
watch the beginning of the Andy Kalpman Network special what
he began it as the foreign guy and turned into
(01:40):
Elvish And it was the most just watching him do
his Archie Bunker impression as the foreign guy. My mother
didn't understand it. My brother and I were rolling on
the floor with laughter, like eight years old, ma, eight,
I was not older than eight.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
So I can say at a very at a very
early age before fourth grade, Don Rickles, Andy Kaupman, and
the Marx Brothers all had a big impact on me.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Excellent choice is and I will say I too love
the Marx Brothers. Although can you imagine if you were
in a comedy movie like a Family Brothers movie and
one of the stars started playing a harp solo for
ten minutes.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
It's hard to imagine today it's hard to imagine. But
I mean, but they're musical numbers. I mean back then,
you know, the studios made that you had to have
the musical number, and it breaks up the comedy. Chico's
piano playing is never not wonderful. I can watch Chiccko
Marx play piano all day, and some of them have.
I mean, the first time I ever watched a big
(02:38):
budget all African American musical number in a movie was
in A Day at the races. Like, the Marx Brothers
did a lot in terms of musical work, and you know,
some of it works better than others. But yeah, I
thought Harpo was part of his genius, that he could
be so so chaplain esque and irreverend and then just
sit down and show what an accomplished musician he was.
(02:58):
It still bursts my mind. Kids, little kids will slow
down and watch Harpo play the damn harp like. They'll laugh,
and then they'll watch it.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Yeah, look at this, people, we are getting comedy history.
This is not just a puzzle show. You also get in.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
I'm just stalling because I'm terrified of they.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
No more stalling this show. This episode is about humor
and kids humor. In particular. The puzzle is called Kids
Riddle Peril. Now peril is a synonym for Jeopardy, which
is a copyrighted term, so we can't use it. The
title of this puzzle, but it is called Kid's Riddle
peril wink wink, and it goes like this, I'm gonna
(03:35):
give you the punchline to a riddle and you are
gonna have to try to figure out the setup. And
it is no, no, you got it. They're all puns.
And I'll I will. If you're in the area, I
am gonna give you a thumbs up. You don't have
to get the exact word. But here's an example. If
the punchline is they go to the moves, then the
(03:58):
you would say, oh that, that's what do cows do
on a Saturday night or the weekend. So that's the
that's the framing. Okay, okay, are you ready?
Speaker 2 (04:09):
No, I should have brought my seventh grader with me.
He's very quick for this. But let's let's get a
shot exactly.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
You can call him. You can call him if needed. Uh,
all right, The punchline is because it was framed. Because
it was framed, what might be the setup to that?
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Hilarious? Why did the painting go to jail?
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Wow? Why did the picture go to prison? I'm torn
whether to give you credit, but I will nicely done.
Very look at that. See no need.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
To painting's going frames too. Paintings you know it works.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
Oh no, As the chief puzzle officer, I'm giving John
credit for that.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
I've had to cut lots of paintings to make them
fit frames, so I know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
By the way, that was Greg Plisko weighing in with
his Solomon like yes, judgment, Thank you Greg, Thank you Greg.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
For joining us.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
I'm on your side.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
John.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
We'll see, we'll see how this one goes. The punchline
is a monkey wrench? A monkey wrench?
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Well, what do you use to fix monkey bars?
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Nice? There you go, Okay, I like it. It is
in the area. It was more, but uh, I'll give it.
It was what did the zoo keeper use to unlock
the cage?
Speaker 2 (05:24):
But you got okay?
Speaker 1 (05:25):
It was monkey the animal and monkey wrench and I
was too lazy to look up why a monkey wrench is.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
I'm actually giving John credit and taking away your credit.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
I think so too. I'm inclined to agree. I don't
actually think you would let a monkey out of a
cage with the wrench.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
But they interesting.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
I know logic, it's very important to this show.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
What tool did the zoo keeper use to break into
the cage. Maybe god break but unlock it. He'd used
the monkey key.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Well, don't or listen, don't blame the messenger here. I
took it to directly from one hundred and one hilarious turning.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
And I'll be I'll be hosting this show by next year.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
I'll still take over, right all right, Well, I'm going
to try to redeem myself. It felt crummy. That's the punchline.
It felt crummy.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
Uh why did the guy stop wearing cookies for clothing?
Speaker 1 (06:24):
I I nice, nice that edible clothing. I can see that.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Why why did the guys stop wearing Why did the
guy stop wearing his his suit made of cookies? That's
there's my there's my crummy you.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Got you got the key now, cookie.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
Bizarre imagination is what you've got.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
That's true. This is a much more visual yours is
a much more interesting visual than I think.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Maybe you know it all. Maybe I just take different
medications that you a j that's that, but thank you.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
I can. I was gonna I would have said. My
guess on behalf of John is why did the cookie
go to the doctor? Not Ah, that.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Happens to be the actual medication spurred that idea.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Why did why did the cookie think it was suffering
from clinical depression?
Speaker 1 (07:12):
I'll because it knew it was made to be killed,
like its whole purpose was to be ingested by another being.
So yeah, it's a bad existence.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
This gout very existentially.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
All right.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
I got a couple more for you. You're doing excellent. What
about this? Because they can't elope? They can't elope, And
I could say it in a different way that would
clue it more.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Please just say it in a different way theould clue it.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Okay, they can't elope, they can't elope.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Oh this is good because I got it. I got it.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Why did the orange marry the melon in a church?
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Ooh? Nice?
Speaker 2 (08:05):
I like that.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
You're endorsing inter fruit marriage.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Well, you know, as long as we're blaspheming.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
Well this says why did the melons choose not to
get married? Here we go, But but I prefer yours,
because yeah, I think fruits should be. Isn't there a
fruit combinations? Like what are they now?
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Tangello and jellos? Yes?
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Yeah? Or the other ones cranapple, thank you?
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Other things they pump full of sugar to sell the
children because parents think it sounds healthy.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
Yes, any fruit should be able to marry any other fruit.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Yes, lovely, lovely sentiment, Thank you Greg. All right, one more,
and that is I can't decide both. Neither of these
is stellar, all right, but I'm gonna do it anyway.
(09:04):
All right, A buck and ear, A buck and ear.
That's the punchline. A buck the U C K and
ear E A R. So what is the setup? And
again I could say this in a way that would
clue it more easily for you.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
No, no, we got it.
Speaker 2 (09:24):
Oh it is a buck and ear a buck and ear?
What does a pirate cannibal charge for body parts?
Speaker 1 (09:35):
Wow? You know?
Speaker 3 (09:37):
And you're twisted. Imagine it's so close.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
I'm so low now. My favorite joke as a kid
was a little guy. A little guy goes so on
Halloween is a pirate and the lady says, oh, a pirate,
where are your buccaneers? And the kid says, under my
bucking hat. That's my favorite joke as a kid.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
That's okay, that is, but.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
I don't know, if I don't know, if I slid
under the wire enough with my answer.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Aging, well, this is I will give you for the
cannibal I prefer I prefer this one is a Yes,
this is the cannibal.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
You were gonna say, what does a pirate pay for corn?
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Went for corn? I said, I'm sorry, I was wrong.
Ear sorry uh.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
And by the way, when my son and I'm gonna
have to get permissions for him because he may not
want me to tell this, but when he was a kid,
he he had his favorite joke was a cannibal themed joke,
but he said cannon ball instead of cannibal, So it
was very abstract and sort of data absurdist because it's like,
cannon balls don't eat each other.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
But who joke is this? You can say his name?
Speaker 1 (10:41):
I give your permission, Zane Jacobs. Who is? Who is
who helps out in the puzzler? By the way, now
he knows, and now he probably would write a puzzle
based on that.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
Well, yeah, now we will know why he never watched
The Cannonball rud He thought it was a totally different movie.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
Exactly all right, So we have I wanted to, since
you are one of my favorite comedians, tell me what
was I don't think I know this, even though I
know a good amount about you. What was your first
stand up routine? Where was it and what did you
talk about?
Speaker 2 (11:15):
My first stand up routine I ever did was an
open mic at the Old Boston Comedy Club in Greenwis Village,
New York City, and it was a long night. I
was so scared to do an open mic, so I
finally invited everybody I knew so I couldn't back out
of it. That was a mistake because I was the
only guy to do an open mic with like twenty
five people in the audience. And when the club realizes
(11:38):
that one of the open micers has twenty five people
in the audience on a Monday night, the club's going
to make that guy go last. Oh no, So they
kept bumping me. And I saw every comic who became
a great comic in the nineties, went on to Havan
Chappelle and Jeff Bross when he was still Liftsheltz and
tell so many Wally Collins. I followed so many great
(12:00):
that I know and became friends with. I had to follow.
And I did a routine about the first ever Shakespearean
gangster rap play, which was called The Taming of the Hoe,
and it featured all kinds of great hip hop. So
dost thou diss me, nay, I dis thee not you know,
went on like that for about four hours.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
So that's kind of puzzly. That is like we take
titles and we try.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
But was the funny thing was when I finally got
on stage to do it and I got the light
at six minutes, I was like, no, screw you guys.
You've been selling drinks to my people all night and
I did twenty minutes at my first open night. I
was already a belligerent diva for my first I already
like it was like I cracked the code, and I'm like, no, no, no, no,
you made you bumped me all night to make my
(12:46):
people keep on buying drinks. I'm doing as much time
as I want. And they invited me back to do
a set after that.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
That is remarkable. That is I mean, you had twenty
minutes as the first time or that.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
I always think I was in suffer believe, and then.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Now one of the reasons I never pursued stand up
comedy aside from the lack of talent, was I'm so
afraid of bombing and heckling. But everyone does it. They're
all like, yeah, Dave Chappelle, I bombed So what is
it like, assuming you are one of the everybody, what
does that feel like? Like do you have a memorable occasion?
Speaker 2 (13:23):
I mean you have to do it, you know, and
it's kind of great in a way because you got
to pay the comedy gods, you know what I mean,
Like like if you keep getting up and you know,
like I'll do touring dates on the weekends and I'll
play like nice thousand seater two thousand seater theaters with
this tour I do, and then and then you got
to go work out the material on the weeknights and
you know, the Sundays, and if you are always falling
(13:46):
back on the material, you know, kills because you want
every audience to like you, You're never going to grow
and you're going to have the same twenty minutes your
whole life. So I view it as paying the comedy gods.
When you bomb, it is awful, but you really it
has to be done. You have to go through that,
and it's sort of a beautiful yin Yang period. That
has made me handle disappointment and failure and pain a
(14:09):
bit better in life because I've sort of learned bad
experiences mean good stories. So when something hellacious happens to
me with a flight problem or whatever. Like, I'm always like, oh,
I hope it gets really bad so I can turn
it into a bit. And it's sort of a great
way to manage life to remember that all the more
awful something is, the better a story you'll get. And
(14:29):
that story will either make people laugh or if it's
a really bad story, it'll make people feel less alone
when bad things happen to them. So comedy sort of
sort of taught me the yin yang.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
That is great, and I love that concept too. I
actually wrote about it, because you know, not as a
stand up but as a writer. Yeah, I want bad
things to happen to be too. I call it self
shot in Freuda or auto shot in Freud of the
joy nice you get when you are seeing, like something
really horrible as ama.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
I love that. I take, I take a satisfaction. I
enjoy the suffering of people who don't know what schadenfreuder means.
So that really works.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
Excellent. Yes, I wonder what that is called. There must
be a German word for people.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
Who enjoy the suffering of others.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
Yeah, exactly, all right, best piece of comedy advice you
ever got? Who or maybe you never got advice.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
No, I got tons of advice, But what was the
best piece I ever got?
Speaker 1 (15:31):
Worst? We always were equal opportunity.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
When I was fifteen years old, it's not stand up
or say. But when I was fifteen years old, I
was in a production of Pirates of Penzance in regional theater.
I was getting paid a bunch of grown ups and
I was six feet tall, so I was cast as
a pirate. And I'm not a good dancer aj And
every time I made a mistake, I would like, h
like indicate damn it. I screwed it up with my
(15:56):
face in the middle of rehearsal. And after rehearsal one night,
the director who worked with my dad as a teacher
took me aside and said, if you ever make a
face when you mess up again on stage, I will
physically beat you. Wow And ever since then, and I
(16:16):
never forgot he said I will. I am not joking,
he said, I will physically beat you if you ever
make a face when you make a mistake again.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
So that was yes.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
I knew, he's go and it's yeah. And it taught
me at age fifteen, when you screw up, you plow
through it and keep on going. And God bless Donald
Trump for showing me you can do that for decades
without any kind of growth. It's a beautiful way to
go through life.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
That is good advice. I'm not sure I love the
physical threatening, but listen, if it worked, it worked, I'm
not gonna mark you. I probably won't adopt that with
my kids.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
I saw that guy a few months ago. He's in
his eighties now, and I thanked him for it.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Well, now, he probably can't do much harm if he
tries to beat you up.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
Thanked him, thanked him. Then you slapped him.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
Across the face. Well, thank you, John. I've got a
quick extra credit for the folks at home before we
wrap up, which is I'm the Wiener. I'm the wiener.
That is the punchline. So what is the setup? And
(17:23):
while you're thinking about it, please check out the puzzler
Instagram feed. We put new puzzles off all the time.
It's very fun in my opinion. It's at Hello puzzlers,
Hello puzzlers, and we will meet you here tomorrow for
more puzzling puzzles that will puzzle you puzzlingly.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
Hello puzzlers.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
It's Greg Plisko, your chief puzzle officer, here with the
extra credit answer from our previous episode, we played a
game with John fugel Sang that we called politically Incorrect,
where we imagined what someone who didn't know anything about
American politics would interpret certain common political or government related
phrases as so, the misunderstood definition for this is this
(18:08):
is a receptionist or assistant who deals with things inside
the home, and that of course would be the Secretary
of the Interior.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
Very nicely done. John was a great guest. Then we
hope you will come back for more puzzling puzzles that
puzzle you puzzlingly
Hosts And Creators
Greg Pliska
A.J. Jacobs
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