December 14, 2020 • 40 mins
On this episode of the (Re)Session Podcast, Jeezy sits down with actress and singer Demi Lovato. She discusses how she became an entertainer, collaborating with Jeezy on The Recession 2, the double-edged sword of fame, her struggles with mental health and sobriety, and becoming an anti-bullying advocate.
This episode is based off the song "My Reputation," one of the tracks on Jeezy's new album, The Recession 2.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Recessing Podcast with Yours Truly. Jeezy is a production
of Black Effect and Our Heart Radio. This is Jeezy,
Grammy nominated Urban philosopher, philanthropists and entrepreneur, and this is
my show, The Recessing Podcast. For years, I used my
(00:22):
music to highlight the struggles and issues facing this country
the economy, politics, protests, mental health and more. And now
strong voices are more important than ever before. On this show,
I will speak the powerful people from all walks of
life to have real conversations about change, perseverance and hope.
(00:43):
In each episode will feature a sample of a song
from my new album, The Recession Too. So without further ado,
let's begin the Recessing Podcast. Let's get it. Today's conversation
is about the double led sort of fame, the highs,
the lows and everything in between. My guest today is
(01:07):
no stranger to the Spotlight. She's a singer actress and
it's collaborated with me on my last album, The Recession.
Two Ladies and Gentlemen, none other than Demi Levado. Welcome
to the Recession Podcast. But before we get started, his
a sample of the song that inspired this conversation today,
and it's entitled my reputation. That's kiddy. You got people
(01:49):
in your hear say you're street. This is our first
time meeting face to face virtual the new the new norm. Um.
We we linked up a few months ago. Your team
reached out for me to get on the record, which
was phenomenal for for whatever project he was working on
(02:09):
at the time. And I heard your voice and I
was just like wow, like this is like she she
I gotta bring her to the cookout. So I reasedu
restout and asked her to join me and a little
duval on my reputation on my latest project, Recessing two,
and here she years. Ladies and gentlemen, Demmi Levado my assist,
(02:34):
thank you for coming to the Recessing podcast by Jeezy Um.
And that wasn't even your introduction. That's my introduction to you. Yeah,
that was like, you know, I had to give you
the the bro bro introduction, and I just you know,
it's it's crazy because when I when I when I
first um really started getting into um who you are
(02:56):
as a person, I was just like wow, like she's
deep and she's see's dope and you've been a star
for a long time. Yeah, very very low. You know
I've been I was a star at the Amico. That's
like the corner store where everybody hang out, and everybody
knew me like a little jay I was about I
was about ten too, just so you know, I was
(03:16):
about ten years old. I was shining a little bit.
But you've been a star since she was ten, Like
tell us about that. Well, first of all, thank you
for everything you just said. That was the best introduction.
You're so awesome. I'm so grateful that we got to
work together because yes, this, I feel like my reputation
(03:37):
is so fantastic as a song. But like also the
other song that you did that we did together, Yeah,
well I I don't know if I can even say yet,
but at that one, I feel like you just go
off and it was in honor having you on that record.
So um, so thank you first of all, and welcome,
(03:57):
You're welcome. And second yeah, I mean I started in
the industry at a really young age. I started on
Barney and Friends when I was seven years old, and
so I've been working on sets um since I was seven, seven,
eight years old, And it wasn't until I was about
fourteen that I booked my first Disney job. And then
(04:20):
but the second you book something with Disney Channel, I
mean that fan base, their fans, they know who you are.
You don't even have to like have filmed a project
as the second you book at the fans know. And
I was recognized before I had even shot anything. It
was wild. Wow, it's crazy because I think I was
(04:41):
watching Barney back then, so I might have been a
fan and didn't know it was you know, body was
a cool guy. Remember what what what I mean? What
was that? Like? So? So as you growing up, is
this something that you you want? Like you just naturally
the life of the party. Are you the one that
is doing all the routines at the at the Christmas Tree? Like?
(05:03):
How does this work? I started um in beauty pageants
actually because in the South, it's a very common thing
for UM for you know, people to get involved in
beauty pageants, and so I did. And from beauty pageants
is where I got hooked up with an acting coach
and then an agent and all of that, and so
(05:24):
it kind of got the ball rolling on that. And
but I had also been performing, like in the talent
show you know, at my school every year, and I
just I love performing, and I knew I wanted to
be a sinner, and I didn't know how I was
going to get to the top, but I knew I
wanted to make it, and so I just focused real
hard and worked at it. Well, you say the South?
(05:46):
What what? What the South part of I'm from Dallas, Texas? Really? Yeah?
Oh yeah, from What's Ruties Chicken and all that? Okay,
you know I never heard chicken. Well this next time
you go to Dallas, you're going with your take you
back home. We're going to Rudies. Were going to let's go,
(06:06):
We're gonna go to Rudy Chick. I love Dallas. Dallas
has his own um it's has his own personality, like
you know people when you see him from Dallas and
and their music scene is jumping right now, and that's dope.
So so you started off so young, So was this
something like, um, your parents pushed you to do as
far as like you know, because like even my dad,
you know, he thought I was cool. I mean I
(06:27):
couldn't sing, you know, definitely couldn't sing. I thought I
could dance, um, but you know he tried to push
me in other directions. But sometimes you know when you're
that young. It's just intrigued to me that you would
know exactly what you wanted, like, you know, you kind
of well, I think I didn't totally know obviously, because
(06:48):
when you're that young, you you don't know what you're
getting yourself in tail And I think my mom was
a country singer and uh, she she was really really
close to making it, and um, she opened for some
really really awesome country musicians George straight Raba McIntyre and um.
You know, so I think I was around her singing
(07:11):
all the time, so I knew that, like I knew
I loved music. And then when I started singing, Um,
I started performing and my talent shows at school, and
my mom was just really supportive of that, and she
really encouraged me to just follow my dreams. And um,
you know, I think the beauty pageants it was like
(07:31):
a way for me to get on stage and perform
without making it big time yet, and so it was
just like it was kind of convenient. We had family
members that had done the pageants for years, so we
got involved in that and um, and then it kind
of just evolved into a career. You know. I think
even if I was I don't know. As much as
(07:54):
I love music now, I don't know if I would
get into the game again if I could it all
over again, because it is such a it's a crazy industry,
and it's it's kind of like nobody's really supposed to
be idolized the way that that musicians are. Um, just
as humans, we're not supposed to be put on that pedestal.
(08:17):
So it's it's really interesting when you start to think
about it. And hell, no, I had no idea I
was getting myself into that at five. But for you,
for you to say you wouldn't do it all again,
because I know through it like the beginning, so so
vice versa for me. So I chose music because it
was a way out of poverty in my situation. I
(08:38):
was trying to die a lot of things that were
coming at me. And it's it's crazy because I think
about that too, like what I do it all again? Um,
because you know, I left one game and got into another,
and you're looking for a safe haveing there and it's
really a little more cut through because at least the
game I came from, you know, you know the rules
(08:59):
and you know the sequences. But this is a little
different because you got cricket lawyers, you've got creecket people,
you got you know, the industry's really cutthroat, nobody's really loyal,
is especially nowadays, it's so different. And and to hear
you say you don't know if you would do it again,
it's crazy because sometimes I think that to myself, like damn,
like is it really worth it? And it's crazy that
(09:21):
you say when you're idolized, because I had to realize
myself that it's not me because I'm not that great,
I'm not that greatest. It's it's my gift. You like,
you like my gift. You're like, you like what I'm
able to do when I put it together. And when
I when I started to come to realization with that,
it made it a little easier for me to cope
because it's almost like you in this position where people
(09:41):
look up to you, they look at you like you
can make no mistakes, you can do no wrong, and
you're going on like I'm I'm doing, you know, making
mistakes every day. I'm trying to figure out things. Every
day I'm fighting my own you know, situations, and my
own turmoil and my own problems, my family things, and
I'm dealing with that and I'm trying to keep it
away from what I do, and then when they see you,
they just idolize you so much, and it's just like,
(10:03):
you know, you love my gift. It's not me. I'm
not that great. You know you had to come to
grips with that. Um what would you say would be
like the gift and the curse in the game, Because
I feel like it has a lot of gifts and
it does have a lot of curses, and I think
you gotta kind of balance it out somewhere and take
the good with the bad, like my grandmother used to say.
(10:25):
But I think it just has both. I mean, could
you could you speak on um any like gifts you
felt like or any curses you felt like you had
to work through? Is just as far as famous concern, Yeah, definitely.
I mean I feel like the biggest gift has been
being able to help others and whatever capacity that is,
(10:45):
whether that's lending my music to someone on a lonely
Friday night and they're sad and they're going through a
breakup and they need someone to be there for them,
and they don't feel like they have anybody. That's been
the biggest gift is like being able to help people
and touch people's lives in a way that you know
you can't just do through Um I don't know, red
(11:07):
carpet pictures. You know, it's it's so much bigger than that.
But um, I think the tricky part about it is
the privacy and the fame. You know. I think if
I could do it all over again, I might go
and I might have gone into songwriting more than performing
because I love creating the music and I love writing
(11:31):
and I love but I but I sometimes envy people
like Sia who have the ability to you know, cover
their faces and and and and live life and person
kind of Um. I mean she deals with fame at
a at a crazy level. So that's a bad example,
but you know, it's it's things like that where it's
(11:53):
like maybe I would have picked, I would have selected
this industry but a different role in it so that
I could still create but live privately. M hm. So
I still want to you know, we elaborate on that,
but why are we speaking of mask? I do want
to actually what d J Marshi look like because I
didn't figure that ship out yet. Like I was like
(12:21):
if I saw the elevated, I'd be like, um, yeah, yeah,
it's funny. It's it's crazy too, because when I first
got in the music industry, I was I wanted to
be a CEO, Like I wanted to be this executive.
I wanted to be, um, you know, the boss, and
I was spending my money to put other people on
(12:42):
and it just didn't work out that way for me.
And when I was kind of forced into um, having
to be an artist, Um, it was. It was fun
at first, like I was you know, everybody knew me,
which they did already from the streets. But then it
got to a point where it was overwhelming. It was
like I didn't have anything. I couldn't find my peace
at times, you know what I'm saying. And then it's
(13:03):
truth be told like many people do. I'm really naturally
an introvert. Like seriously, I could be by myself, right,
I can be myself all day and better that way,
I'm better. I charge I charge more, you know, and
and and you know, getting to that point where I
just started open being open minded, like you know, read
more books and and and just you know, focusing on
(13:27):
like working on myself. That's that's when I feel the best,
and I felt like when I got into the industry
and and and the success hit, it was harder to
do that because, um, you know, you're getting pulled in,
you know, pushed from every direction, and it just like
sometime it get it get overbearing, and it's just like
you have to just stop and just naturally just find
(13:47):
yourself and go, Okay, this is where I'm at, and
I'm gonna do what's in my heart and what I
feel and not what somebody's telling me. Because once the
money started coming in, everybody's like if you should do this,
you should stand there. You said, how this? You should
drink that. It's like, yeah, I'm trying to stop drinking.
While you got home was a bottle a matter of fact,
bring me another way, you know what I'm saying. And
it was that, And it was crazy because I was like,
(14:10):
I was like, uh, I was watching TV one day
and I was like, um, I was like to sixty
the wait. You know what I'm saying, I'm naturally like
a slim guy. And it was because all I was
doing was partying and eating waffle House and drinking Chris
down and I'm just looking at myself and I'm like
on TV. I'm like, yeah, I gotta really do something.
So I went on the whole thing between my second
(14:32):
and third album. Well, I just started researching all these
books and um and just finding out about health, mental health, um,
you know, just you know, health, personal health, and I
just want to I realized I wasn't even drinking water,
Like it was crazy. I was like going like MutS
without water because I'm just like yo, drinking and having
(14:54):
a good time and long story show, I just started, Um,
I started to look better, to feel better, um, and
a lot sixty pounds on my own, you know, just
you know, working out, getting up doing my thing anymore.
I never feel better. And it just gave me a
such like just like piece because I did it on
my own, away from like the industry and all the noise.
(15:18):
You know. I think like we have to when we're
projected onto these pedestals and these screens, I mean literal screens,
millions of screens out of time, we have to figure
out how to come back within and we have to
send ourselves. We have to ground ourselves. And whether that's
through meditation or it sounds like to me like you
(15:39):
found it through exercise and and and reading like that's incredible.
And it's just like we have to take we have
to remind ourselves to take these times um or just
these breaks throughout our career, because we'll just run ourselves
to into the ground if we don't. You know, it
gets exhausting, and we have to. I was kind of
(16:00):
you know, I've had I've done a lot of self
reflecting this year. Um, because of quarantine, I've had so
much time at home to stop and think. And even
when I didn't want to, you know, I had no
other choice but to think and um, And so I've
done a lot of self reflecting and and learned a
lot about myself this last year. But it's because I
(16:21):
had I had that that time to stop. Yeah, And
it's so important that we allow ourselves as moments. You're
the words of a wise man. Either you're gonna get
better doing this pandemic or bitter. Yeah. Yeah, it's crazy
that you say that, because I think a lot of
people are really finding themselves, um in this pandemic, because
(16:43):
you have a lot of time to sit and be still,
because we're all on the same playing ground, and you know,
you get that quiet moment where you're just sitting there,
you go, you know what I should have done that
a matter of fact, I'm gonna do it. I'm trying
what brings us here. Like I wasn't a podcast, but
I want to talk to interested people, get get some insight.
(17:04):
They happened doing the quarantine, by the way, so I
would have done I wouldn't have done that on my own,
So talk to me about So. So now you you
went from being a towel store now you're a rock star,
so to speak. And I love the way you said
help people through a Saturday lonely night. Do you go
about writing music that way? Like? Do you know how
(17:28):
your words were, you know, transcend a connect with people
or how they would take them. So you're writing them
to to to help them, or you're writing them to
to release for yourself. Well, I think it started out
when I was making my first album. It started out
(17:49):
writing for other people and I would because I had this.
My management meant was like, all right, you have an
album to make and we have to release it by
the summer. Well this was March when um this happened,
and so I was like, all right, I gotta put
together an album. So I cranked out. You know. However,
many songs were on the first album and just and
(18:11):
wrote them, but with the idea that it was going
to be this album. Now, throughout my life, I've utilized
going into the studio as a therapeutic tool to help me.
And so when I if even if I'm just inspired,
you know, if I'm um, if I'm excited about a
(18:32):
certain style of music I'm listening to, and I'm like,
I would rather spend my Friday night in the studio
than out and about doing whatever, Like, that's what I'm
gonna choose, and It'll be therapeutic for me, and I'll
make it personal so that it's cathartic, but at the
same time people can relate to it and then it
helps other people. And so I've learned to kind of
(18:55):
uh change my priorities from making albums to help people too.
All right, let's just like do this for you and
then you share it with people and if it helps people, awesome,
And if they don't relate, then they don't listen to it,
and who cares. Now that's cool, that's cool. I mean
because because you know, as artists is um I've you know,
(19:16):
you have to be your truth is somebody else's truth.
So if you're going in and you're pinning out, um
the way you feel, nine times out of tend, somebody
out there is gonna feel you and be like, Yo,
that's that's that's what's up. I mean. Even when I
was writing a lot of my first music, I was
I was not I was writing what I thought was
(19:37):
the way you write records because of what I've seen
and heard in the past. And the minute somebody submitted
somebody sat me down was like, why don't you talk
about the real things you do? And I was like, well, what,
I don't want to go to jail. But but when
I when I when I figured that part out, I
was like, you know what, I'm just gonna tell the
that's And that's around the time that my career, um
(19:59):
you know, started to to move forward. Is when I
started really being like truth, like every row, every word
that I wrote speaking of truth, Like you open up
to your fans about like just um, you know how
you feel about mental health and health period, let's let's
let's talk about that. Yeah. So I've been really open
about all of the struggles that I've had over the years.
(20:23):
Um My my life has been UM, you know, full
of ups and downs. I've had many highs, many loads,
and some of those loads. UM. It started out in
the beginning of my career. UM. I talked a lot
about bullying because I had been bullied in middle school
and it was like, you know, when social media was
(20:44):
just beginning, and so I dealt with the online bullying
and that was just a different experience and it was terrible.
I left school so that I was an advocate for
anti bullying, and then then I went to treatment for
an eating disorder and UM. Then I became an advocate
for you know, eating to sort of recovery and UM,
(21:07):
trying to raise the awareness about that. And then I
then I started to talk about my issues with sobriety
and UM and substance abuse and UM. And I've had
a very public struggle with substance abuse UM over the
past few years. And you know, I think the best
(21:30):
way to go about, UM helping others when talking about
mental illness is just like having conversations, letting people know
that they're not alone, because we all know somebody that
if we're not dealing with it ourselves, we all know
somebody that's dealing with a mental illness of some sort,
and um, we have to take the stigma and the
(21:52):
taboo away from it. We have to talk about it
and just um, once we start talking about it, we
can bring it into schools. We can get into you know,
conversations with younger audiences and so that they don't feel
isolated when they get into an age where they're starting
to deal with depression and things like that, they can
they can have the tools to be like, oh, I
(22:13):
learned about this in school. I am going to do
the tools they taught me and I'll be okay. You know,
it's like providing that awareness is so important, and this year,
more than ever, it's more important because so many of
so many people who have never had mental illness or
mental health issues, um their whole lives are dealing with
(22:35):
it this year because of the amount of stress and anxiety.
This year brought people uncertainty and and and and just
the undue stress of not knowing what the economy is
and what the world you're having kids as having to
sit home during the quarantine, this subject to abuse. Now
now they can't leave the abuses. Rum you got you know,
(22:57):
you've got women going through the same thing that they're
stuck in the house with abusive husbands and so on
and so forth. It's crazy because I mean, I just
want to talk to you, like you're such a like angel.
It's just like you and just like I'm like, Yo,
my sister been through some real ship out here. I
gotta call the line like yo, broadcast. I love I
(23:23):
love it. I love it. But it's crazy that you
say you became an evigable because I know your voice
reaches so far and even for me, like, you know,
even when I went through my little spills and things
like and I said this I think on another podcast
with Dr Jesse's and she's, um, she's a therapist and
a psychologist, and I was just like, yeah, I was
(23:43):
going through these spells and I didn't even know I
was depressed because we don't talk about it, so there
was no awareness when I was coming up and being bullied. Um,
you know, I don't even know what that's like. Because
when when you think about it, you know, if you
are on social medi to you, which you know most
of us are, you know, is how do you prevent
(24:05):
your kids or your loved ones from being bullied? You know,
because it's there, but we're not discussing it, so it
might hit them a different way because for us it
was in a classroom or a p or or at lunch.
But now it's you know, social and their and their
their own social media and I and I commend you
(24:28):
for bringing awareness to it, because bullying is something that
wouldn't come off the top of my head when you
think about what's going on in the world, but it
really happens. Yeah, definitely, an online bullying. I feel it
can be really insidious, especially with kids, because you know,
it's it's it can be something as little as a subtweet,
(24:48):
you know, or uh, it can be it starts off
that way. It starts off as a subtweet, It starts
off as something, you know, not that big of a deal,
but then it can get really brutal and people, kids
can be ruthless because there's not really consequences, I think
at that age legally, you know, for people, they don't
(25:08):
understand the the repercussions of their words until someone does something.
And I was close to to to doing that, and um,
you know, I was dealing with depression on a on
astronomical level at that age because I was getting no
support from my peers at that time, and um, but yeah,
(25:32):
it's just some it's something that's it's really it's it's new,
and it's a concept that I think adults didn't really
know how to process or like um, talk to their
kids about. And so I was like, hey, this is
what I dealt with right before I got with Disney Channel.
I'm going to talk about it. And because other people
(25:53):
need to know that it you know, it'll be okay,
um that I don't know, there are consequences. I don't know.
Their laws need to change so that harassment online is
taken as seriously as physical harassment in my opinion, right,
And I think because it's it's so um, it's so
(26:17):
you know, because you can people have ghost accounts and
you know, it's just so it's so tricky, you know
what I mean. But it's just like the one thing
that you would arm somebody with because social I don't know,
if you watch a Social Dilemma, which is a documentary
on Netflix, and when I watched that, I was just overwhelmed,
like by just like the damns because it's like these
(26:39):
people designed these um apps to to um to basically
control human beings to to to make us the product
to have people um you know hurd it like you
know sheep and put in certain places so that you
can advertise and then to see that you know, turning
(27:00):
is something that people can almost use as a weapon
because you've got kids out here that you know, commit
suicide just because of you know, UM d M s uh.
It makes it easier for like sexual predators to to UM,
you know, to contact kids. So I mean, I really
commend you on that. UM. You said, you said you
went through some things UM at a time where you know,
(27:22):
with substance abuse, was that like something you like understood
why you was going through it that you had to
just because my mom and and people before me went
through it. But my mom and she came out of it,
you know, and and she came out strong and stronger
and and and I you know, I applauded it every sense.
And I just know that's like a space because I
(27:42):
had my thing where you know, I came from my
family and it was more so like you know, my
my mom and my dad they drink, so you know,
like like I was drinking like a fish and didn't
really realize that, you know, it was a lot, and
I had to really fight it myself. So I'm just
excellent on your in Like, what was that for you? Yeah?
(28:03):
Mine was more drugs. Um. I was never really a
big drinker because, um, my eating disorder didn't really allow
me to uh consume that many calories without that much guilt.
So I was more Yeah, to me, it was like alcohol,
it takes too long and there's too many calories. So
I'm just gonna go straight. Too much work. I'm just
(28:28):
gonna go for what I actually wanted. And I did,
and I read my life into the ground, and um,
I think there was it was a culmulation of so
many things. It was childhood, um and and other traumas
that had manifested that I never took the time to
really dig deep and look into. I think because scheduling,
(28:52):
I didn't have time. And two I wasn't ready. I
wasn't ready until this year. I done and did a
lot of work this year actually, um, And I don't
know if I would have had the had the time,
you know, I don't know. I just I was finally ready,
(29:12):
and so I'm I'm in a great place now and
I have a documentary coming out next year that you
know is it tells it goes into detail about what
substances I, um, you know, was abusing and and all
of that. So the details are kind of saved for
(29:36):
all of that. Um. But but yeah, it's just like
in two thousand eighteen, I um, I had a very
public drug overdose and um and and almost didn't make it.
And I'm and when I did, it really woke me
up and I had to really take a look at
my life and be like, all right, I shouldn't be
(29:57):
here today from a doctor's standpoint. What makes me unhappy?
And what do I want to live for what? And
and so I really started taking a look at my life,
and um, I just started living. I realized that my
food stuff was a main catalyst behind that I needed
to heal my eating disorder before I could consider myself
(30:21):
recovered from substances. But yeah, it's a it's a journey
and and I'm still learning about myself every day and
I don't ever want to stop. To be honest, I
get off on learning more about myself. I can see
it in your eye. It's yeah, I COMMUNI though, because
(30:43):
when I when I when I started speaking with you,
I'm like Yo, she's such a gee. Though. I can
see where you where you went through you know, you
went through things, and you just seem like a fighter
to me, Like it just seemed, Um, it's like somebody
is strong mentally and it takes these you know, these
small um, you know, knockdowns for you to get up
even you know, stronger and even to eating this sort
(31:05):
of thing because I don't really I'm not really um,
but where you know, I've heard about it, but like
you look great, like you know what I mean, like
like like we like here like this, you know what
I mean, Like you know I want you to and
and it's even that like just three things you just
named me. Um, sometimes you're mission in life is bigger
than your gift because you are artist, you are um,
(31:27):
an actor. You you have been successful, but it seems
like me your mission is even larger. And speaking of that, Um,
even with the songs you sent me, Um, I just
feel like you was taking a real stance for the people.
And I'm like, I gotta take her the Rudies Chicken
in Dallas because she gotta see what she's working with.
I gotta go take her the Dallas and with the
(31:49):
Homies like y'all, y'all remember a little babie from around
in the corner. Yeah, she's back, but but it just
you know, and I check you out on the Graham
and it's just like I just see you, like you
just standing for a lot. And I've been watching what
she was doing when when all the the the racial
tension was going on and and and and you know,
getting ready for this last election. You know, how you
(32:12):
was pushing going into this, um, this Georgia Senate race.
How you pushing with the Senate race? How you pushing? Um?
What is Where does that come from? Like? Where is
that passion for politics and the people and to let
your voice be heard? Like where does that? Where does
that come from? So I think at the beginning of
this year, I wouldn't have seen myself doing all of this.
(32:33):
I think that there was because there was a couple
of factors that came into play. Because I did work
on myself, I was able to look outside of myself.
You know, it was no longer about my struggles and
my this and my story and blah blah blah. Was
like I'm so done talking about that, you know, Like
(32:54):
I want to fight for other people now. And I
and I, and I there was I don't know. I
know that you had to have had this feeling too,
but I definitely had this feeling of like I was
pacing in my house during the lockdown and watching the
news and thinking, what the fund can I do? What
can I do? What can I do? And and I
(33:16):
would stay up crying because I would watch these videos
of these men getting shot or strangled for doing nothing,
and that infuriated me. And and here I am looking
at a house in a roof that I have over
my head, and I credit that to the black woman
that I grew up singing to, Witney Houston, Aretha Franklin,
(33:39):
and then even the white women that I grew up
singing to, they were influenced by the black women. So
it's like, when I did a dissection of Okay, where
did this roof over my head come from? I was like,
I don't feel good about just sitting here and not
speaking for people that have majorly influenced my life and
(34:00):
given me so much and and affected me and inspired me. Like,
I don't feel good about just sitting here and not
doing anything or posting selfies on my social media account. Um,
I have to do more. And so that's when you
know I brought that track to you. I started posting
more on my social media accounts, less about, uh, what
(34:22):
what I was doing in quarantine and more about like
what the funk was going on in the world. And
I realized as we were getting closer to the election,
I just the more the more anxiety I had, the
more I wanted to post and the more I wanted
to get it out. And so that's how I kind
of coped with my stress and anxiety was like, I
(34:45):
I want to help so bad, I don't know how.
So I'm just gonna do as much as I can
and and I don't want to stop, and I want
to keep going. And and it's been so stimulating for me,
um spiritually, intellectually, emotionally, like I feel stimulated almost sometimes
more than I do just from getting on stage and
(35:05):
and singing to adoring fans, you know, Like, as as
amazing and incredible as that is, um I, I there
was something about being able to actually help people and
make a difference, UM that that really kind of shifted
my thinking into, all right, what is the trajectory of
your life going to look like now? Because you're taking
(35:28):
on more of an activist role and is that what
you want your future to look like? And and I
think it is. I want to take on a more
activist role and I want to fight for people, and um,
it's just you know, it's so much bigger than me
and I and that's the story I want to tell.
I told my story for so long and it's bigger
(35:48):
than me. Now. That's that. That's that, that's that, that
that that mission. Because a lot of the things that
you you've been through to me, they they made you
who you are today and this new person that you're becoming.
And and the reason why I say I had to
work on myself a lot as well, because I I
(36:10):
brought a lot of uh, you know, just bad things
in with me and I had to just work my
way through that. But a lot of people see me
today and go, now you you like how you evolve,
You change so much, and it's like, nah, I just
started putting people first. And that's a that's like the
first step to healing, you know. It's it's to start
to have a bigger cause than yourself and to put
(36:33):
energy into helping other people. And that's how you're right.
You you you become fulfilled yourself, because if you make
it all about you and you're not doing well mentally
because you have things going on, that means the whole
ship is stopped, you know what I'm saying. But if you,
if you, if you're looking out for people, you're you're
you're you're doing things outside of yourself, and that's a
(36:55):
great part of healing, you know. And I've been through
that ship myself, so I feel you on that. But
it's crazy because it looks good on you, look like
you like you're ready for the world, like you like
with Quarantine. If I'm popping out, you know, I'm so
ready for this for should be got to Quarantine being over? Um,
(37:20):
what are your plans? Do you do? You have new
music coming after the Quarantine? Like? What are you thinking?
Can we can we talk about it? Can we get
some exclusive be it? I mean, you know, I'm going
to give you the T and then if they don't
want me to say it, then they'll take it out.
But because the T is, I am releasing an album
and a documentary next year and I just couldn't be
(37:45):
more excited. I've been working on this album since two
thousand eighteen and Um, you know my life has just
taken so many twists and turns um since then and
changed the direction, the sound, the stories, and then you know,
you know how it is when you're making an album.
(38:06):
One song trump's another one because what it's about has
more meaning now than your last relationship, you know. So
it's like it's it's just things like that. So, UM,
I'm I'm really excited to release all of this new music.
But the documentary I'm excited about two. It's a docuseries
and UM, it'll it'll be on YouTube, and UM, I'm
(38:29):
gonna tell my story and just where I'm not, where
I've been, what I've been up to this year, and
where I'm going. Yeah, it looks like you go wherever
you go and just send me just drop a pin drop.
I'm a pull up. I'm a pull up. See what's
going on out there? So so so so for for
(38:51):
those who um out there in in in podcasts, were listening,
you know this. This is a great friend of mine. UM,
great so great person. UM, straight g from She's from
the Triple D. If you don't know, and it's just
crazy to see you made your way from you know
a place like Dallas to l A and find yourself
(39:12):
so comfortable there and and it's just like you're working
on yourself every day and I can see that just
being you know, just a friend. And I commend you
for everything you're doing, for using your voice and your
influence to to help and to to to reach and
to teach people. And I thank you so much for
(39:33):
stopping by the podcast, in the Recessing podcast. And if
you need anything ever, big brother is here, you know,
just let me know and I'll pull right up. And uh,
and I can't wait to the quarantine is over so
we can hang out. And you know what I'm can take.
I can take you to that cookout I'm telling you about.
Thank you so much, ladies and gentlemen. Demmi Levado, she
(39:57):
got some things in they're making. Thank you so much,
Sis safe by. Thanks for listening to the Recession Podcast
by Jeez, a production of Black Effect and Our Heart Radio.
For more podcasts, visit the I Heart Radio, Apple Apple Podcast,
(40:22):
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows
The Recessing Podcast with Yours Truly. Jeezy is a production
of Black Effect and Our Heart Radio. This is Jeezy,
Grammy nominated Urban philosopher, philanthropists and entrepreneur, and this is
my show, The Recessing Podcast. For years, I used my
(00:22):
music to highlight the struggles and issues facing this country
the economy, politics, protests, mental health and more. And now
strong voices are more important than ever before. On this show,
I will speak the powerful people from all walks of
life to have real conversations about change, perseverance and hope.
(00:43):
In each episode will feature a sample of a song
from my new album, The Recession Too. So without further ado,
let's begin the Recessing Podcast. Let's get it. Today's conversation
is about the double led sort of fame, the highs,
the lows and everything in between. My guest today is
(01:07):
no stranger to the Spotlight. She's a singer actress and
it's collaborated with me on my last album, The Recession.
Two Ladies and Gentlemen, none other than Demi Levado. Welcome
to the Recession Podcast. But before we get started, his
a sample of the song that inspired this conversation today,
and it's entitled my reputation. That's kiddy. You got people
(01:49):
in your hear say you're street. This is our first
time meeting face to face virtual the new the new norm. Um.
We we linked up a few months ago. Your team
reached out for me to get on the record, which
was phenomenal for for whatever project he was working on
(02:09):
at the time. And I heard your voice and I
was just like wow, like this is like she she
I gotta bring her to the cookout. So I reasedu
restout and asked her to join me and a little
duval on my reputation on my latest project, Recessing two,
and here she years. Ladies and gentlemen, Demmi Levado my assist,
(02:34):
thank you for coming to the Recessing podcast by Jeezy Um.
And that wasn't even your introduction. That's my introduction to you. Yeah,
that was like, you know, I had to give you
the the bro bro introduction, and I just you know,
it's it's crazy because when I when I when I
first um really started getting into um who you are
(02:56):
as a person, I was just like wow, like she's
deep and she's see's dope and you've been a star
for a long time. Yeah, very very low. You know
I've been I was a star at the Amico. That's
like the corner store where everybody hang out, and everybody
knew me like a little jay I was about I
was about ten too, just so you know, I was
(03:16):
about ten years old. I was shining a little bit.
But you've been a star since she was ten, Like
tell us about that. Well, first of all, thank you
for everything you just said. That was the best introduction.
You're so awesome. I'm so grateful that we got to
work together because yes, this, I feel like my reputation
(03:37):
is so fantastic as a song. But like also the
other song that you did that we did together, Yeah,
well I I don't know if I can even say yet,
but at that one, I feel like you just go
off and it was in honor having you on that record.
So um, so thank you first of all, and welcome,
(03:57):
You're welcome. And second yeah, I mean I started in
the industry at a really young age. I started on
Barney and Friends when I was seven years old, and
so I've been working on sets um since I was seven, seven,
eight years old, And it wasn't until I was about
fourteen that I booked my first Disney job. And then
(04:20):
but the second you book something with Disney Channel, I
mean that fan base, their fans, they know who you are.
You don't even have to like have filmed a project
as the second you book at the fans know. And
I was recognized before I had even shot anything. It
was wild. Wow, it's crazy because I think I was
(04:41):
watching Barney back then, so I might have been a
fan and didn't know it was you know, body was
a cool guy. Remember what what what I mean? What
was that? Like? So? So as you growing up, is
this something that you you want? Like you just naturally
the life of the party. Are you the one that
is doing all the routines at the at the Christmas Tree? Like?
(05:03):
How does this work? I started um in beauty pageants
actually because in the South, it's a very common thing
for UM for you know, people to get involved in
beauty pageants, and so I did. And from beauty pageants
is where I got hooked up with an acting coach
and then an agent and all of that, and so
(05:24):
it kind of got the ball rolling on that. And
but I had also been performing, like in the talent
show you know, at my school every year, and I
just I love performing, and I knew I wanted to
be a sinner, and I didn't know how I was
going to get to the top, but I knew I
wanted to make it, and so I just focused real
hard and worked at it. Well, you say the South?
(05:46):
What what? What the South part of I'm from Dallas, Texas? Really? Yeah?
Oh yeah, from What's Ruties Chicken and all that? Okay,
you know I never heard chicken. Well this next time
you go to Dallas, you're going with your take you
back home. We're going to Rudies. Were going to let's go,
(06:06):
We're gonna go to Rudy Chick. I love Dallas. Dallas
has his own um it's has his own personality, like
you know people when you see him from Dallas and
and their music scene is jumping right now, and that's dope.
So so you started off so young, So was this
something like, um, your parents pushed you to do as
far as like you know, because like even my dad,
you know, he thought I was cool. I mean I
(06:27):
couldn't sing, you know, definitely couldn't sing. I thought I
could dance, um, but you know he tried to push
me in other directions. But sometimes you know when you're
that young. It's just intrigued to me that you would
know exactly what you wanted, like, you know, you kind
of well, I think I didn't totally know obviously, because
(06:48):
when you're that young, you you don't know what you're
getting yourself in tail And I think my mom was
a country singer and uh, she she was really really
close to making it, and um, she opened for some
really really awesome country musicians George straight Raba McIntyre and um.
You know, so I think I was around her singing
(07:11):
all the time, so I knew that, like I knew
I loved music. And then when I started singing, Um,
I started performing and my talent shows at school, and
my mom was just really supportive of that, and she
really encouraged me to just follow my dreams. And um,
you know, I think the beauty pageants it was like
(07:31):
a way for me to get on stage and perform
without making it big time yet, and so it was
just like it was kind of convenient. We had family
members that had done the pageants for years, so we
got involved in that and um, and then it kind
of just evolved into a career. You know. I think
even if I was I don't know. As much as
(07:54):
I love music now, I don't know if I would
get into the game again if I could it all
over again, because it is such a it's a crazy industry,
and it's it's kind of like nobody's really supposed to
be idolized the way that that musicians are. Um, just
as humans, we're not supposed to be put on that pedestal.
(08:17):
So it's it's really interesting when you start to think
about it. And hell, no, I had no idea I
was getting myself into that at five. But for you,
for you to say you wouldn't do it all again,
because I know through it like the beginning, so so
vice versa for me. So I chose music because it
was a way out of poverty in my situation. I
(08:38):
was trying to die a lot of things that were
coming at me. And it's it's crazy because I think
about that too, like what I do it all again? Um,
because you know, I left one game and got into another,
and you're looking for a safe haveing there and it's
really a little more cut through because at least the
game I came from, you know, you know the rules
(08:59):
and you know the sequences. But this is a little
different because you got cricket lawyers, you've got creecket people,
you got you know, the industry's really cutthroat, nobody's really loyal,
is especially nowadays, it's so different. And and to hear
you say you don't know if you would do it again,
it's crazy because sometimes I think that to myself, like damn,
like is it really worth it? And it's crazy that
(09:21):
you say when you're idolized, because I had to realize
myself that it's not me because I'm not that great,
I'm not that greatest. It's it's my gift. You like,
you like my gift. You're like, you like what I'm
able to do when I put it together. And when
I when I started to come to realization with that,
it made it a little easier for me to cope
because it's almost like you in this position where people
(09:41):
look up to you, they look at you like you
can make no mistakes, you can do no wrong, and
you're going on like I'm I'm doing, you know, making
mistakes every day. I'm trying to figure out things. Every
day I'm fighting my own you know, situations, and my
own turmoil and my own problems, my family things, and
I'm dealing with that and I'm trying to keep it
away from what I do, and then when they see you,
they just idolize you so much, and it's just like,
(10:03):
you know, you love my gift. It's not me. I'm
not that great. You know you had to come to
grips with that. Um what would you say would be
like the gift and the curse in the game, Because
I feel like it has a lot of gifts and
it does have a lot of curses, and I think
you gotta kind of balance it out somewhere and take
the good with the bad, like my grandmother used to say.
(10:25):
But I think it just has both. I mean, could
you could you speak on um any like gifts you
felt like or any curses you felt like you had
to work through? Is just as far as famous concern, Yeah, definitely.
I mean I feel like the biggest gift has been
being able to help others and whatever capacity that is,
(10:45):
whether that's lending my music to someone on a lonely
Friday night and they're sad and they're going through a
breakup and they need someone to be there for them,
and they don't feel like they have anybody. That's been
the biggest gift is like being able to help people
and touch people's lives in a way that you know
you can't just do through Um I don't know, red
(11:07):
carpet pictures. You know, it's it's so much bigger than that.
But um, I think the tricky part about it is
the privacy and the fame. You know. I think if
I could do it all over again, I might go
and I might have gone into songwriting more than performing
because I love creating the music and I love writing
(11:31):
and I love but I but I sometimes envy people
like Sia who have the ability to you know, cover
their faces and and and and live life and person
kind of Um. I mean she deals with fame at
a at a crazy level. So that's a bad example,
but you know, it's it's things like that where it's
(11:53):
like maybe I would have picked, I would have selected
this industry but a different role in it so that
I could still create but live privately. M hm. So
I still want to you know, we elaborate on that,
but why are we speaking of mask? I do want
to actually what d J Marshi look like because I
didn't figure that ship out yet. Like I was like
(12:21):
if I saw the elevated, I'd be like, um, yeah, yeah,
it's funny. It's it's crazy too, because when I first
got in the music industry, I was I wanted to
be a CEO, Like I wanted to be this executive.
I wanted to be, um, you know, the boss, and
I was spending my money to put other people on
(12:42):
and it just didn't work out that way for me.
And when I was kind of forced into um, having
to be an artist, Um, it was. It was fun
at first, like I was you know, everybody knew me,
which they did already from the streets. But then it
got to a point where it was overwhelming. It was
like I didn't have anything. I couldn't find my peace
at times, you know what I'm saying. And then it's
(13:03):
truth be told like many people do. I'm really naturally
an introvert. Like seriously, I could be by myself, right,
I can be myself all day and better that way,
I'm better. I charge I charge more, you know, and
and and you know, getting to that point where I
just started open being open minded, like you know, read
more books and and and just you know, focusing on
(13:27):
like working on myself. That's that's when I feel the best,
and I felt like when I got into the industry
and and and the success hit, it was harder to
do that because, um, you know, you're getting pulled in,
you know, pushed from every direction, and it just like
sometime it get it get overbearing, and it's just like
you have to just stop and just naturally just find
(13:47):
yourself and go, Okay, this is where I'm at, and
I'm gonna do what's in my heart and what I
feel and not what somebody's telling me. Because once the
money started coming in, everybody's like if you should do this,
you should stand there. You said, how this? You should
drink that. It's like, yeah, I'm trying to stop drinking.
While you got home was a bottle a matter of fact,
bring me another way, you know what I'm saying. And
it was that, And it was crazy because I was like,
(14:10):
I was like, uh, I was watching TV one day
and I was like, um, I was like to sixty
the wait. You know what I'm saying, I'm naturally like
a slim guy. And it was because all I was
doing was partying and eating waffle House and drinking Chris
down and I'm just looking at myself and I'm like
on TV. I'm like, yeah, I gotta really do something.
So I went on the whole thing between my second
(14:32):
and third album. Well, I just started researching all these
books and um and just finding out about health, mental health, um,
you know, just you know, health, personal health, and I
just want to I realized I wasn't even drinking water,
Like it was crazy. I was like going like MutS
without water because I'm just like yo, drinking and having
(14:54):
a good time and long story show, I just started, Um,
I started to look better, to feel better, um, and
a lot sixty pounds on my own, you know, just
you know, working out, getting up doing my thing anymore.
I never feel better. And it just gave me a
such like just like piece because I did it on
my own, away from like the industry and all the noise.
(15:18):
You know. I think like we have to when we're
projected onto these pedestals and these screens, I mean literal screens,
millions of screens out of time, we have to figure
out how to come back within and we have to
send ourselves. We have to ground ourselves. And whether that's
through meditation or it sounds like to me like you
(15:39):
found it through exercise and and and reading like that's incredible.
And it's just like we have to take we have
to remind ourselves to take these times um or just
these breaks throughout our career, because we'll just run ourselves
to into the ground if we don't. You know, it
gets exhausting, and we have to. I was kind of
(16:00):
you know, I've had I've done a lot of self
reflecting this year. Um, because of quarantine, I've had so
much time at home to stop and think. And even
when I didn't want to, you know, I had no
other choice but to think and um, And so I've
done a lot of self reflecting and and learned a
lot about myself this last year. But it's because I
(16:21):
had I had that that time to stop. Yeah, And
it's so important that we allow ourselves as moments. You're
the words of a wise man. Either you're gonna get
better doing this pandemic or bitter. Yeah. Yeah, it's crazy
that you say that, because I think a lot of
people are really finding themselves, um in this pandemic, because
(16:43):
you have a lot of time to sit and be still,
because we're all on the same playing ground, and you know,
you get that quiet moment where you're just sitting there,
you go, you know what I should have done that
a matter of fact, I'm gonna do it. I'm trying
what brings us here. Like I wasn't a podcast, but
I want to talk to interested people, get get some insight.
(17:04):
They happened doing the quarantine, by the way, so I
would have done I wouldn't have done that on my own,
So talk to me about So. So now you you
went from being a towel store now you're a rock star,
so to speak. And I love the way you said
help people through a Saturday lonely night. Do you go
about writing music that way? Like? Do you know how
(17:28):
your words were, you know, transcend a connect with people
or how they would take them. So you're writing them
to to to help them, or you're writing them to
to release for yourself. Well, I think it started out
when I was making my first album. It started out
(17:49):
writing for other people and I would because I had this.
My management meant was like, all right, you have an
album to make and we have to release it by
the summer. Well this was March when um this happened,
and so I was like, all right, I gotta put
together an album. So I cranked out. You know. However,
many songs were on the first album and just and
(18:11):
wrote them, but with the idea that it was going
to be this album. Now, throughout my life, I've utilized
going into the studio as a therapeutic tool to help me.
And so when I if even if I'm just inspired,
you know, if I'm um, if I'm excited about a
(18:32):
certain style of music I'm listening to, and I'm like,
I would rather spend my Friday night in the studio
than out and about doing whatever, Like, that's what I'm
gonna choose, and It'll be therapeutic for me, and I'll
make it personal so that it's cathartic, but at the
same time people can relate to it and then it
helps other people. And so I've learned to kind of
(18:55):
uh change my priorities from making albums to help people too.
All right, let's just like do this for you and
then you share it with people and if it helps people, awesome,
And if they don't relate, then they don't listen to it,
and who cares. Now that's cool, that's cool. I mean
because because you know, as artists is um I've you know,
(19:16):
you have to be your truth is somebody else's truth.
So if you're going in and you're pinning out, um
the way you feel, nine times out of tend, somebody
out there is gonna feel you and be like, Yo,
that's that's that's what's up. I mean. Even when I
was writing a lot of my first music, I was
I was not I was writing what I thought was
(19:37):
the way you write records because of what I've seen
and heard in the past. And the minute somebody submitted
somebody sat me down was like, why don't you talk
about the real things you do? And I was like, well, what,
I don't want to go to jail. But but when
I when I when I figured that part out, I
was like, you know what, I'm just gonna tell the
that's And that's around the time that my career, um
(19:59):
you know, started to to move forward. Is when I
started really being like truth, like every row, every word
that I wrote speaking of truth, Like you open up
to your fans about like just um, you know how
you feel about mental health and health period, let's let's
let's talk about that. Yeah. So I've been really open
about all of the struggles that I've had over the years.
(20:23):
Um My my life has been UM, you know, full
of ups and downs. I've had many highs, many loads,
and some of those loads. UM. It started out in
the beginning of my career. UM. I talked a lot
about bullying because I had been bullied in middle school
and it was like, you know, when social media was
(20:44):
just beginning, and so I dealt with the online bullying
and that was just a different experience and it was terrible.
I left school so that I was an advocate for
anti bullying, and then then I went to treatment for
an eating disorder and UM. Then I became an advocate
for you know, eating to sort of recovery and UM,
(21:07):
trying to raise the awareness about that. And then I
then I started to talk about my issues with sobriety
and UM and substance abuse and UM. And I've had
a very public struggle with substance abuse UM over the
past few years. And you know, I think the best
(21:30):
way to go about, UM helping others when talking about
mental illness is just like having conversations, letting people know
that they're not alone, because we all know somebody that
if we're not dealing with it ourselves, we all know
somebody that's dealing with a mental illness of some sort,
and um, we have to take the stigma and the
(21:52):
taboo away from it. We have to talk about it
and just um, once we start talking about it, we
can bring it into schools. We can get into you know,
conversations with younger audiences and so that they don't feel
isolated when they get into an age where they're starting
to deal with depression and things like that, they can
they can have the tools to be like, oh, I
(22:13):
learned about this in school. I am going to do
the tools they taught me and I'll be okay. You know,
it's like providing that awareness is so important, and this year,
more than ever, it's more important because so many of
so many people who have never had mental illness or
mental health issues, um their whole lives are dealing with
(22:35):
it this year because of the amount of stress and anxiety.
This year brought people uncertainty and and and and just
the undue stress of not knowing what the economy is
and what the world you're having kids as having to
sit home during the quarantine, this subject to abuse. Now
now they can't leave the abuses. Rum you got you know,
(22:57):
you've got women going through the same thing that they're
stuck in the house with abusive husbands and so on
and so forth. It's crazy because I mean, I just
want to talk to you, like you're such a like angel.
It's just like you and just like I'm like, Yo,
my sister been through some real ship out here. I
gotta call the line like yo, broadcast. I love I
(23:23):
love it. I love it. But it's crazy that you
say you became an evigable because I know your voice
reaches so far and even for me, like, you know,
even when I went through my little spills and things
like and I said this I think on another podcast
with Dr Jesse's and she's, um, she's a therapist and
a psychologist, and I was just like, yeah, I was
(23:43):
going through these spells and I didn't even know I
was depressed because we don't talk about it, so there
was no awareness when I was coming up and being bullied. Um,
you know, I don't even know what that's like. Because
when when you think about it, you know, if you
are on social medi to you, which you know most
of us are, you know, is how do you prevent
(24:05):
your kids or your loved ones from being bullied? You know,
because it's there, but we're not discussing it, so it
might hit them a different way because for us it
was in a classroom or a p or or at lunch.
But now it's you know, social and their and their
their own social media and I and I commend you
(24:28):
for bringing awareness to it, because bullying is something that
wouldn't come off the top of my head when you
think about what's going on in the world, but it
really happens. Yeah, definitely, an online bullying. I feel it
can be really insidious, especially with kids, because you know,
it's it's it can be something as little as a subtweet,
(24:48):
you know, or uh, it can be it starts off
that way. It starts off as a subtweet, It starts
off as something, you know, not that big of a deal,
but then it can get really brutal and people, kids
can be ruthless because there's not really consequences, I think
at that age legally, you know, for people, they don't
(25:08):
understand the the repercussions of their words until someone does something.
And I was close to to to doing that, and um,
you know, I was dealing with depression on a on
astronomical level at that age because I was getting no
support from my peers at that time, and um, but yeah,
(25:32):
it's just some it's something that's it's really it's it's new,
and it's a concept that I think adults didn't really
know how to process or like um, talk to their
kids about. And so I was like, hey, this is
what I dealt with right before I got with Disney Channel.
I'm going to talk about it. And because other people
(25:53):
need to know that it you know, it'll be okay,
um that I don't know, there are consequences. I don't know.
Their laws need to change so that harassment online is
taken as seriously as physical harassment in my opinion, right,
And I think because it's it's so um, it's so
(26:17):
you know, because you can people have ghost accounts and
you know, it's just so it's so tricky, you know
what I mean. But it's just like the one thing
that you would arm somebody with because social I don't know,
if you watch a Social Dilemma, which is a documentary
on Netflix, and when I watched that, I was just overwhelmed,
like by just like the damns because it's like these
(26:39):
people designed these um apps to to um to basically
control human beings to to to make us the product
to have people um you know hurd it like you
know sheep and put in certain places so that you
can advertise and then to see that you know, turning
(27:00):
is something that people can almost use as a weapon
because you've got kids out here that you know, commit
suicide just because of you know, UM d M s uh.
It makes it easier for like sexual predators to to UM,
you know, to contact kids. So I mean, I really
commend you on that. UM. You said, you said you
went through some things UM at a time where you know,
(27:22):
with substance abuse, was that like something you like understood
why you was going through it that you had to
just because my mom and and people before me went
through it. But my mom and she came out of it,
you know, and and she came out strong and stronger
and and and I you know, I applauded it every sense.
And I just know that's like a space because I
(27:42):
had my thing where you know, I came from my
family and it was more so like you know, my
my mom and my dad they drink, so you know,
like like I was drinking like a fish and didn't
really realize that, you know, it was a lot, and
I had to really fight it myself. So I'm just
excellent on your in Like, what was that for you? Yeah?
(28:03):
Mine was more drugs. Um. I was never really a
big drinker because, um, my eating disorder didn't really allow
me to uh consume that many calories without that much guilt.
So I was more Yeah, to me, it was like alcohol,
it takes too long and there's too many calories. So
I'm just gonna go straight. Too much work. I'm just
(28:28):
gonna go for what I actually wanted. And I did,
and I read my life into the ground, and um,
I think there was it was a culmulation of so
many things. It was childhood, um and and other traumas
that had manifested that I never took the time to
really dig deep and look into. I think because scheduling,
(28:52):
I didn't have time. And two I wasn't ready. I
wasn't ready until this year. I done and did a
lot of work this year actually, um, And I don't
know if I would have had the had the time,
you know, I don't know. I just I was finally ready,
(29:12):
and so I'm I'm in a great place now and
I have a documentary coming out next year that you
know is it tells it goes into detail about what
substances I, um, you know, was abusing and and all
of that. So the details are kind of saved for
(29:36):
all of that. Um. But but yeah, it's just like
in two thousand eighteen, I um, I had a very
public drug overdose and um and and almost didn't make it.
And I'm and when I did, it really woke me
up and I had to really take a look at
my life and be like, all right, I shouldn't be
(29:57):
here today from a doctor's standpoint. What makes me unhappy?
And what do I want to live for what? And
and so I really started taking a look at my life,
and um, I just started living. I realized that my
food stuff was a main catalyst behind that I needed
to heal my eating disorder before I could consider myself
(30:21):
recovered from substances. But yeah, it's a it's a journey
and and I'm still learning about myself every day and
I don't ever want to stop. To be honest, I
get off on learning more about myself. I can see
it in your eye. It's yeah, I COMMUNI though, because
(30:43):
when I when I when I started speaking with you,
I'm like Yo, she's such a gee. Though. I can
see where you where you went through you know, you
went through things, and you just seem like a fighter
to me, Like it just seemed, Um, it's like somebody
is strong mentally and it takes these you know, these
small um, you know, knockdowns for you to get up
even you know, stronger and even to eating this sort
(31:05):
of thing because I don't really I'm not really um,
but where you know, I've heard about it, but like
you look great, like you know what I mean, like
like like we like here like this, you know what
I mean, Like you know I want you to and
and it's even that like just three things you just
named me. Um, sometimes you're mission in life is bigger
than your gift because you are artist, you are um,
(31:27):
an actor. You you have been successful, but it seems
like me your mission is even larger. And speaking of that, Um,
even with the songs you sent me, Um, I just
feel like you was taking a real stance for the people.
And I'm like, I gotta take her the Rudies Chicken
in Dallas because she gotta see what she's working with.
I gotta go take her the Dallas and with the
(31:49):
Homies like y'all, y'all remember a little babie from around
in the corner. Yeah, she's back, but but it just
you know, and I check you out on the Graham
and it's just like I just see you, like you
just standing for a lot. And I've been watching what
she was doing when when all the the the racial
tension was going on and and and and you know,
getting ready for this last election. You know, how you
(32:12):
was pushing going into this, um, this Georgia Senate race.
How you pushing with the Senate race? How you pushing? Um?
What is Where does that come from? Like? Where is
that passion for politics and the people and to let
your voice be heard? Like where does that? Where does
that come from? So I think at the beginning of
this year, I wouldn't have seen myself doing all of this.
(32:33):
I think that there was because there was a couple
of factors that came into play. Because I did work
on myself, I was able to look outside of myself.
You know, it was no longer about my struggles and
my this and my story and blah blah blah. Was
like I'm so done talking about that, you know, Like
(32:54):
I want to fight for other people now. And I
and I, and I there was I don't know. I
know that you had to have had this feeling too,
but I definitely had this feeling of like I was
pacing in my house during the lockdown and watching the
news and thinking, what the fund can I do? What
can I do? What can I do? And and I
(33:16):
would stay up crying because I would watch these videos
of these men getting shot or strangled for doing nothing,
and that infuriated me. And and here I am looking
at a house in a roof that I have over
my head, and I credit that to the black woman
that I grew up singing to, Witney Houston, Aretha Franklin,
(33:39):
and then even the white women that I grew up
singing to, they were influenced by the black women. So
it's like, when I did a dissection of Okay, where
did this roof over my head come from? I was like,
I don't feel good about just sitting here and not
speaking for people that have majorly influenced my life and
(34:00):
given me so much and and affected me and inspired me. Like,
I don't feel good about just sitting here and not
doing anything or posting selfies on my social media account. Um,
I have to do more. And so that's when you
know I brought that track to you. I started posting
more on my social media accounts, less about, uh, what
(34:22):
what I was doing in quarantine and more about like
what the funk was going on in the world. And
I realized as we were getting closer to the election,
I just the more the more anxiety I had, the
more I wanted to post and the more I wanted
to get it out. And so that's how I kind
of coped with my stress and anxiety was like, I
(34:45):
I want to help so bad, I don't know how.
So I'm just gonna do as much as I can
and and I don't want to stop, and I want
to keep going. And and it's been so stimulating for me,
um spiritually, intellectually, emotionally, like I feel stimulated almost sometimes
more than I do just from getting on stage and
(35:05):
and singing to adoring fans, you know, Like, as as
amazing and incredible as that is, um I, I there
was something about being able to actually help people and
make a difference, UM that that really kind of shifted
my thinking into, all right, what is the trajectory of
your life going to look like now? Because you're taking
(35:28):
on more of an activist role and is that what
you want your future to look like? And and I
think it is. I want to take on a more
activist role and I want to fight for people, and um,
it's just you know, it's so much bigger than me
and I and that's the story I want to tell.
I told my story for so long and it's bigger
(35:48):
than me. Now. That's that. That's that, that's that, that
that that mission. Because a lot of the things that
you you've been through to me, they they made you
who you are today and this new person that you're becoming.
And and the reason why I say I had to
work on myself a lot as well, because I I
(36:10):
brought a lot of uh, you know, just bad things
in with me and I had to just work my
way through that. But a lot of people see me
today and go, now you you like how you evolve,
You change so much, and it's like, nah, I just
started putting people first. And that's a that's like the
first step to healing, you know. It's it's to start
to have a bigger cause than yourself and to put
(36:33):
energy into helping other people. And that's how you're right.
You you you become fulfilled yourself, because if you make
it all about you and you're not doing well mentally
because you have things going on, that means the whole
ship is stopped, you know what I'm saying. But if you,
if you, if you're looking out for people, you're you're
you're you're doing things outside of yourself, and that's a
(36:55):
great part of healing, you know. And I've been through
that ship myself, so I feel you on that. But
it's crazy because it looks good on you, look like
you like you're ready for the world, like you like
with Quarantine. If I'm popping out, you know, I'm so
ready for this for should be got to Quarantine being over? Um,
(37:20):
what are your plans? Do you do? You have new
music coming after the Quarantine? Like? What are you thinking?
Can we can we talk about it? Can we get
some exclusive be it? I mean, you know, I'm going
to give you the T and then if they don't
want me to say it, then they'll take it out.
But because the T is, I am releasing an album
and a documentary next year and I just couldn't be
(37:45):
more excited. I've been working on this album since two
thousand eighteen and Um, you know my life has just
taken so many twists and turns um since then and
changed the direction, the sound, the stories, and then you know,
you know how it is when you're making an album.
(38:06):
One song trump's another one because what it's about has
more meaning now than your last relationship, you know. So
it's like it's it's just things like that. So, UM,
I'm I'm really excited to release all of this new music.
But the documentary I'm excited about two. It's a docuseries
and UM, it'll it'll be on YouTube, and UM, I'm
(38:29):
gonna tell my story and just where I'm not, where
I've been, what I've been up to this year, and
where I'm going. Yeah, it looks like you go wherever
you go and just send me just drop a pin drop.
I'm a pull up. I'm a pull up. See what's
going on out there? So so so so for for
(38:51):
those who um out there in in in podcasts, were listening,
you know this. This is a great friend of mine. UM,
great so great person. UM, straight g from She's from
the Triple D. If you don't know, and it's just
crazy to see you made your way from you know
a place like Dallas to l A and find yourself
(39:12):
so comfortable there and and it's just like you're working
on yourself every day and I can see that just
being you know, just a friend. And I commend you
for everything you're doing, for using your voice and your
influence to to help and to to to reach and
to teach people. And I thank you so much for
(39:33):
stopping by the podcast, in the Recessing podcast. And if
you need anything ever, big brother is here, you know,
just let me know and I'll pull right up. And uh,
and I can't wait to the quarantine is over so
we can hang out. And you know what I'm can take.
I can take you to that cookout I'm telling you about.
Thank you so much, ladies and gentlemen. Demmi Levado, she
(39:57):
got some things in they're making. Thank you so much,
Sis safe by. Thanks for listening to the Recession Podcast
by Jeez, a production of Black Effect and Our Heart Radio.
For more podcasts, visit the I Heart Radio, Apple Apple Podcast,
(40:22):
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows
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