September 12, 2019 • 34 mins
Ron is joined by the Dodger’s Clayton Kershaw to talk baseball.
Credits:
Ron Burgundy: Host, Writer, Executive Producer
Carolina Barlow: Co-Host, Writer, and Producer.
Producers: Whitney Hodack, Jack O'Brien, Miles Gray, and Nick Stumpf
Executive Producer: Mike Farah
Consulting Producer: Andrew Steele
Coordinating Producer: Colin MacDougall
Associate Producers: Anna Hossnieh and Sophie Lichterman
Writer: Jake Fogelnest
Production Coordinator: Hannah Jacobson
This episode was Engineered, Mixed and Edited by: Nick Stumpf
Music Clearance by Suzanne Coffman
Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Non Berg and Ron Berg and Dan talking and say
anything Berg and wrong back and he's not playing any game.
Good morning, listeners, this is Ron Burgundy and I hope
everyone is having a great morning enjoying the great weather
(00:22):
with a little cup of Joe. Actually, I can't fake
it today. I don't know what to say. I well,
I just it just received some news before walking into
the studio today. I wish I could say it was
good news, but no, it's pretty dark, to be honest,
(00:46):
and not funny dark like Lenny Bruce or or when
a kid falls down. It's just it's just dark and
full of despair. What's going on? Okay, I'll just say it.
I got some results back from my doctor. Oh my god,
Ron and I have an announcement. I have a cavity?
(01:10):
What is wrong with you? And yes, of course I'm scared.
I mean, why me? If it if it had to
happen to anyone, why not Carolina? You know because I
brush my teeth. Excuse me, I brush my teeth. I'm
not an animal. Well you have to brush twice a day,
So do you brush twice a day? Okay, Carolina, A
nice try. I wasn't born, do you mean you weren't
(01:33):
born yesterday, because that's listen. I'm not trying to trick you.
If you have to brush twice a day, when do
you brush your teeth? When do I brush my teeth
when everyone else does on holidays? You only brush your
teeth on holidays, well, not all holidays, I mean Presents
Day isn't really a holiday, is it? So? So I
(01:56):
brushed during Christmas or New Year's I put on some
nice slacks, I brushed the mustache with my ivory comb,
and I brushed my choppers. It's the holiday, so you
want to do it up, and sometimes I forget. I'm
not perfect. Doesn't the smell of your breath bother you?
You mean the smell of rare steak and aged whiskey,
(02:17):
no Carolina, That doesn't bother me, just like the smell
of top ramen and cold brew coffee must not bother you.
Take it easy. Don't your teeth hurt? They felt fine,
like normal teeth, with the texture of wool, And then
out of nowhere, I felt a pain as sharp as
zoos thunderbolt. So I went to the doctor. You went
(02:40):
to your general doctor, yes, Then he referred me to
a specialist you mean a dentist. Oh no, Carolina, are you?
Are you a cabbage survivor as well? I wouldn't call
myself a survivor, but yeah, what wicked webs we weave?
I think we should move on. All right? What are
we doing today? If anything? Well, are definitely doing something today,
(03:01):
and that's that's why we're here in the studio where
you're actually interviewing Clayton Kershaw. Oh right, okay, today we
have Clayton Kersha, the famous Croatian circus cloud. No, no, wait,
I didn't how many Clayton Kershaws are there? And I'm
talking about the Dodgers picture. Well, Carolina, I specifically asked you,
and I think I asked you upwards of fifty thousand
(03:24):
times to get Clayton Kersha, the Croatian circus clown. He
travels through Croatia in a wagon led by mules. And
that's who you wanted to interview, the Croatian circus for
the millionth time. Yes, I mean, does a baseball pitcher
even know anything about Croatia? I'm not sure. I mean,
maybe we just let's stay off the topic of Croatia.
(03:47):
It might not make sense to ask about it. I know,
but I when I think of Clayton Kersha, I'm gonna
think of Croatia. Just keep thinking about baseball, baseball questions.
So he's a baseball player for who the last Angels Dodgers. Oh, yes,
Clayton Kershaw. That Clayton Kersha. Oh he's outstanding. You're very familiar,
very familiar. I can't wait to talk to him. In fact,
(04:08):
we will talk to him right after these messages. And
welcome back to the Ron Burgundy Podcast. We are very
excited to have here in the studio with us from
(04:28):
the Los Angeles Dodgers. Picture Clayton Kershaw. Clayton, welcome to
the podcast. Thanks for having me wrong appreciate it. Carolina.
Are you excited to meet Clayton Kershaw. I'm so excited.
I just learned about baseball and Ron walked me through
a game. Clayton, you're a lefty. I'm a lefty. Were
you always a lefty? Yes? The whole time, the whole time,
(04:49):
whole time. Never you never thought about switching to write.
I thought about it, but I just didn't work. It
didn't work, could not work. Does that give you an
upper hand? Um? You know there's less of us so
it's a little bit more unorthodox. So it definitely helps
a little bit. For sure. The the left hander is
very valuable in Major League Baseball. Yes, but there are
no left added third baseman or catchers. Are you a
(05:12):
lefty wrong? I'm a yeah, I right lefty. So you
didn't play third base? I did? You did? That's why
we lost every game that I couldn't make the throw
across the diamond. You also read while you're on third base?
I did. I would read. I'd have a paperback novel
my back because I got base. I mean, you have to.
It's it's kind of a boring game if you're if
you're not paying attention on the action, is you know,
(05:35):
intermittent at best? Yeah, you're right. I want to write that.
I'm glad I fit that word in intermitted. That was
I have a word a day. I tried to fit
into my language. You were saying ardently a lot. I
said ardently times. Whether it's fit or not, it was
very intermittent. Did you play last night? We did? Yeah,
(05:59):
we played? And who who did you guys? We played
the Mets, New York Mets, and we won. I think
the final school was eight to five. And were you
at home or were you in New York? We were
in l A. Ok, yes, we were home. And how
are the Mets this year? Um, honestly, I don't know
what the record is. I think they're okay because you
don't care, right, you just play your game, Just play
down there, and yeah, they're a good team. I think
(06:19):
they'll be all right. Right, Yeah, what how many innings
did you throw through? Six? Things? I didn't throw very well? Wrong,
I had a rough game. Really, Yeah, it wasn't super great.
Well talk about thanks for asking? Yeah, no, it was good.
We did win. The main point when you when you
don't have a game that you feel great about, how
were you able to just you just gotta forget about it? Right? Yeah,
(06:40):
it's tough, you know, but as a starting pitcher, you
play once every five days, so you got like four
days to think about it and get back at it
that fifth day. So what's your advice to players whatever age?
In high school, middle school, we have a rough day, exactly, Well,
it's gonna happen. I think you know, everybody's gonna have
their bad days in baseball, right, But I think more
(07:00):
than anything, it's just about how you go about it.
And then baseball is a lot about how you handle failure.
You know, there's a lot of failure in baseball, so
it's really important to be able to compartmentalize that. And
um go from there. And you have a son. So
when your son gets older, Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna be
super hard on him. I'm gonna keep the pressure, keep
turn up the heat, let him know. Yeah. Yeah, he's
(07:21):
got a lot to live up to. That's good. Yeah,
I like that. No, I just I just want to
have fun, you know. I just as long as he's
loving baseball, he can play as long as he wants.
But what if he's like dad, Sorry, I like Badminton.
I like leather bound books. What if he enjoys be great.
In fact, I have some leather band books around here somewhere.
I also have a loaf of bread. There it is.
(07:42):
That's my lucky loaf of sour dough. There the listeners,
there's a there's a giant loaf of sour dough bread.
It's kind of like when a Laddin would bite into
a sour dough in the cartoon. I don't remember that, Okay, sorry,
scratch that, you know, Carolina, make it count Okay, we've
got Clayton Kershaw in here. I brought the future Hall
of Famer and you bring up a Laddin and the
(08:03):
bite into the bread and he's about to leave. You're
not gonna leave right now? Okay, Well we'll get back
to um. Let me ask you this question. What's the
worst city to play baseball in? What's the place you
hate the most? I don't know if I can answer that. Um, sure,
go ahead, let me let me. I'll throw some names
out and you can just either I'll not or Cleveland.
(08:24):
It's it's not my favorite. Yeah, it's okay, rock and
roll Hall of Fame. Yeah. Wait, you guys don't play
in Cleveland ever, do you? Very rarely? Milwaukee? I like
Milwaukee sleeper city, sleeper um Albany? Is there a professional
team in Albany? Never been all right? Ah, Miami, it's
(08:51):
it's a fun city, right The team's not great right now?
So the fan atmosphere lacks a little bit, like there's
no one there, not a lot what would you say,
like a thousand people in the stands. It feels like that,
it really does. Can you you guys can hear individual
fans It is way worse when there's less people, because
you can hear the youth sucks way more like way more.
(09:13):
That's what I've heard. I heard. I heard someone was
saying that professional ball players you can never acknowledge anything
that the fans say to you. You're right, but because
if you do, they'll know you can hear them. Yes,
but sometimes you can't help it. Some of it's so
funny though, wrong. What's the weird? Well, some of them
do their research, right, Like they know your wife's name,
(09:36):
your kids names. Yeah, I mean, they know where you're born.
You know, they know anything that Wikipedia has, they'll find
it and say it. And you've got to give them
a little credit. They've done their research. But you know,
I just appreciate a good old you know, you suck,
you know, I mean that's just yeah, it's good. You
can't can't fight that, Just say thank you and move on.
(09:56):
You appreciate the fact that they're as tough of fans
as you would want it. Dodger Stadium, exactly right, Yeah,
I hope we give it give it right, yeah, give
it back. You've you've won three Cy Young Awards? Is
that correct? Correct? Who is Cy Young? Does anyone know?
And then and and my research shows me. And so
(10:17):
in two thousand eleven, you won Baseball's pitching Triple Crown.
What what is that? Exactly? Wins, wins versus losses, E,
R A, and U, strikeouts, strikeouts. So you were the
league leader in all three of those. And then that
next year in did you just did you brag to everyone,
(10:39):
all the other opposing players like triple Crown winner last year?
Everybody I saw. I just kind of wrote it on
my forehead. I mean, you've been described throughout your career
as the best picture in baseball? Do you ever just
scream that at people? Like if you can't get into
you know, Chili's Friday Night, I'm sorry, Mr, Do you
(11:00):
just scream at the hostess, I'm the best pitcher in baseball?
Absolutely great. You can't borrow that for Chilies, by the way,
it's for Clayton. You can't just yell that. Well, I'm
now going to say I know the best pitcher in baseball.
You can see that, give me a booth. You know
what I like about Chilies, though, is they don't play favorites.
(11:21):
So you say that, well, yeah, and you're gonna wait
fifteen minutes. Everybody cannot fault chilies for that. That's right,
they don't they The only democracy laugh is chilies are Um.
Let me ask you this, what's it like to be
a Dodger with all that baseball history. It's awesome, It's
got to be. It's great. I love it. One of
(11:43):
these storied franchises in base not on baseball, but all
of sports. So cool when you put that uniform on,
do you do you sometimes wet your pants? I do? Yeah, Okay, yeah,
I mean it's so many cool people that have been
part of the Dodgers. It's really special. I can think
of all of them, Burt hooting Um, who else? Ah,
(12:07):
mostly Burt hooton all of them, Doug raw Um, I
haven't heard of Doug Doug rawl Burt hooting Um book
who wrong name? Sorry, No, I don't. Here's here's something
that always drives me crazy. I don't think Sandy Kofax
(12:30):
gets enough credit. Four no hitters, a perfect game, all
this while being the first and last Jewish woman ever
to pitch in the big leagues. Why is that overlooked?
It should not be. I mean, no one brings that up.
Nobody There's there hasn't been a female pitcher in baseball
before or since? And and this lady, have you ever
(12:53):
seen a picture of like? I can't. I can't say
that I have. You might want to just google that, Oh,
check that out? Okay, Yeah, anyway, I just don't know
why people don't make a bigger deal. I agree about
the fact that you know, Sandra ko Fax amazing player,
one of my favorites, even though I don't know what
(13:13):
she looks. I couldn't pick her out of a lineup
if I had to. If if they said to me,
Sandy Kofax is down the building, I'd be really nervous
and I'd say, where is she? What sort of dressing? Sandy?
Raise your hand? Now? Is it true that your your
great uncle discovered the planet Pluto? Is very true? Yes, Clyde, Tomball,
(13:38):
Clyde is he really was? He really pissed when they
said Pluto wasn't a planet. He the family was sure.
We've got a lot of you know, we have for
those listeners. Clayton's great uncle was I assume an astronomer
or astrophysicists or something. Yeah, he discovered Pluto would be
great if he's just an insurance silver and he just that. Yeah,
(14:00):
I'm gonna call it Pluto. But he discovered Pluto did
and then when they said it was not a planet,
devastating to the my mom's maiden name Tomba family went crazy. Yes,
I think it's mean to take it back. I think
it is too. I mean what, yeah, who who gets
the authority on planet naming or finding? You know, what's
(14:24):
the governing body that can take that away? I don't know.
So they think that Pluto is just a ball of
inert gas, don't laugh, run run you know where I
get a ball of inner gas. After after I eat
a chilies. I was waiting for that one. Good. Okay,
(14:45):
got that joke in. That was good. Um. I mean
when you retire, do you feel like you need to
discover a planet? I would love to. I don't know.
I feel like everything's I mean, when you're out of baseball,
what is Clayton Kershaw? I think he's gonna do? Can
I can I maybe help you out with the podcast? Wrong?
Oh my god, I would love it. I think all
positions are Oh they're final. I could be an intern,
(15:08):
non paid. You know what, worked your way up from
the bottom, right, I'll pay to learn the craft of
podcasting Roun constantly threads to replace me. So I'm just
really need I won't take your job. I won't do that.
I won't do that. I gotta ask you this. So, Carolina,
you may not know this, but the Dodgers are in
the National League, yes, and the pictures in the National
(15:30):
League have to hit with a sad sack American League.
They don't have to hit what's called a designated hitter.
What do you enjoy hitting as a picture? I love
taking batting practice. Okay, so that's fun because you get
to hit maybe a home run in batting practice and
it's really fun. But then when it comes to the game, Yeah,
that's more difficult. It takes you out of your rhythm. Well,
(15:53):
it's just it's hard and it's hard. Yeah. Hitting is
like really hard, like the hardest thing to do in
sports in my opinion. And I don't practice a lot
um and it's you're facing guys that throw really hard
and it's just hard. It's hard to do. The batting
practice is fun. They throw it right there for you,
right down Broadway, as they say, beautiful stadiums. You get
to be a kid again, no pressure. It's awesome. Do
(16:15):
you ever yelled at the opposing picture like, hey, just
come on, throw it. Throw easy and I'll throw easy
on you. No, because then I have to throw easy
to them, and that's no fun. I gave up a
hit to a picture yesterday. Oh jeez, you get you
get ribbed in the clubhouse for that. I told you
how to rough game yesterday. Note for our listeners, the
(16:36):
game reference by Clayton Kershaw took place in May, not
in the fall when this podcast is airing. Therefore, if
there's any confusion, that's what happened. The game happened earlier
in the season. Thank you for your patience. Good thank you.
Jacob deGrom didn't he used to beautiful flowing locks of hair.
(16:59):
He did, he can, and he cut it all off.
I don't know why. I trust me. If you've got
a luscious mane of hair, don't don't get rid of it,
because once it's gone, there's a good chance it's never
coming back. Sometimes it grows. I never cut my hair,
and it never grows. It's the same link all the time.
(17:22):
It's a genetic imperfection. Oh my god, I was born
with this head of hair. Yes, as a baby. Yes,
that's so insane and the doctor was like, this is
one gorgeous kid. Um. How many Dodger dogs have you
had in one sitting? I've wanted to join the hot
(17:45):
dog eating contest. I think I would do well, but
I think two is probably the most I've had in
one sitting. Did you ever want to meet Kobe Ashi,
the professional hot dog eater? That's amazing. He's what did
he eat sixty or something like that? Yes, amazing, Caroline.
How many hot dogs have you eaten today? In general?
I've eaten three or four hot dogs. There's nothing. I
(18:09):
don't know what it is about a dodge or dog.
If you eat it fast enough, your body can't tell
you your fault. And that's their slogan. You really do. Um.
You know what. Sometimes I'll go to and all you
can eat sushi and just sit there for six hours.
I can't kick you out. I put a do not
disturb side at my table and they get pissed at me.
(18:33):
It's pretty crazy, and I'll just point to their sign
all it says all you can eat, not even a
time limit. You know what, don't call yourself all you
can eat. They've taken you out and you've been literally
punching in the air, just dragged out by L A. P. D.
But gosh, darnett if I didn't eat two th dollars
(18:56):
with the sushi. Yeah, not great sushi, not great sushi,
but you can't resist deal. And a lot of times
I'll go to the places with the be Health Code rating. Yeah,
I don't know why, because they're happy to have me.
They'll let me stay as long as they want. Um.
The minor leagues. How many years were you in the
minor leagues? Clayton too, Just two years. Yeah, that's pretty quick. Yeah,
(19:20):
it was a little quick, Yeah, but it was. It
was a good experience. I had fun. But the minor leagues,
I mean it's it's you know, you're riding busses. Yeah,
you're it's not glamorous and not glamorous. No, not good.
But you get to see some places you never see.
Like have you ever been to Burlington, Iowa? I love it? Okay,
well most people I say that I've got I've got
a summer place there right on the lake. Burlington has
(19:44):
a lake, doesn't Well, maybe it's a reservoir, the man
made lakes. Maybe it's somewhere completely different, could be, could
be but it's it's a good time. You get to
hang out. And Burlington, I what were some of the
other cities, Clinton, A lot of places in Iowa. Shockingly, um, Appleton, Wisconsin.
This is the Midwest League. And would this have been
(20:04):
uh single A double this was? This was single A
and and then the other league was called the Southern League.
And so I went to places like Jackson, Mississippi, Sebulon,
North Carolina. Um, yeah, just and just You're staying in
motels and yeah, you get what with a roommate, you
(20:24):
share a room forty bucks a day for meal money,
for meal money. They might it might have pushed up,
but it was twenty. So you're in a lot of
subway sandwiches and yeah subway actually, yes, all the time. Wow,
anytime during that stent, we're like this blows. Yeah, for sure,
(20:46):
for sure a lot. But that's why you try to
go fast get out of there. Did you ever set
a timetable? In other words, if if it's five years
and I'm still a double A, forget it, hang it up,
I'll go. Well, so I don't go to be a
substitute school teacher? Yeah, I see, I would have need
school for that, which would have been a problem because
I didn't. I didn't. You went straight out of high school.
(21:06):
I didn't go to college, so that was kind of
my Hey, I've got four years. I would have been
in college. So I got four years and then I
would have had to think about some things probably, but
thank god it worked out. It did work out. Scouted,
how old were you when you started getting scouted? High school? Yeah,
but you were like a senior, junior, senior, and you
get a choice. We probably were being offered college scholarships.
(21:30):
I didn't have some. I could have gone to college.
I was actually gonna go to Texas A and M University,
and then you just decided, let's just go for it. Yeah.
I decided, Yeah, why not. I want to play baseball.
I didn't want to go to school. Yeah, I just
did it the whole time. Though. You were still going
to night school, right, yeah, still doing that. But to
to study to become a dermatologist, you don't have to
go to college for that. I don't think so. No,
(21:52):
I think it's the one medical fieldlogist. My dermatologist never
went to school. I know he In fact, he a
double a baseball. Yeah. He was a catcher and you
have a huge mole. Yeah, I have. I have a
mole on the back of my neck. I think he
referred to it as a home run. I also have
(22:13):
a cavity. We have to let that one go. It's
not as bad as you and and my dentist was
also a former minor league ball player, so life is
funny that way. Do you have a good dermatologist? Do
you need one? You should see My guy sounds good
oddly enough. You know what his name is, Sandy. He's
(22:35):
a guy though, he's a guy. Okay, okay, which is
a weird name for a guy. Um, do you ever
get jocketch. I'm just gonna cut to the chase. I've learned.
I've learned my lesson. Yeah, um, yeah, you have the
baby powder is a must. I once got jocketch right,
and then I made the mistake of scratching my eyes
(22:57):
and I had jocketch all in my eyes. Oh my god,
chockic in my eyeballs. Never heard of that. But then
I went to eat all you can eat sushi. It
was a hell of a weekend, Oh my god. In fact,
that was one of the places that had an A rating.
And they're like, thanks to you, Mr Burgundy, we've gotta
be rating. We've got jockeys all in our sushi. But
(23:20):
you've heard that phrase, I got jockey itch all up
in my sushi. I don't think I think that's a
bad situation. I feel like I heard it in a
hip hop song. That's something that's new in baseball. Everyone
has a play on like, so when you go to
the plate, a walk up. So what are your thoughts?
What are your thoughts? I'm more of a purist. I
just like a little organ music, maybe a little organ
(23:43):
Casey in the Sunshine band, Dent d d d Dan
Dan Dan Dan Dan Dan. That's the way I like it. Uh,
take me out to the ball game. And that's about it.
But now there's all everyone's got a song. It's a
it's a it's a bit of a thing. Do you
guys change their song if they're slump? Okay, it's a
it's a whole ordeal. Yeah yeah. Do you have any
(24:05):
good luck? Ritual it's a very ritualistic game. Yes, you
probably have a hole. You don't want to share them? Well,
you don't have to talk about it, Okay, I've worn
the same glove for a long time. Yeah, that's no
big deal. Like ten years it's yeah, not a big deal.
Like do I wear like my same underwear like all
that stuff? Oh? You do? I do? I mean I
wash them. But I've warned the same ones for a
(24:26):
while when I pitched you do that, I war the
same underwear washed. I only have three pair of underwear
we got for your birthday and they're not lucky yet.
What's the craziest superstition you've heard of? Any of your teammates?
You don't have to say who? Let me think here?
(24:48):
Um well, actually you know the craziest guy. I can
say a name here because they're okay with it. Yes,
he's retired, Um no more. Yeah, I played with No Maar.
And the amount of stuff that he did with his
batting gloves and his bad and he had that it
was a whole thing. I mean, how do you remember
all that? It's amazing. He probably just naturally does it.
(25:10):
Just twitched all the time. Yeah, I mean it was.
It was amazing. I don't sleep well at night, partly
because I get up every fifteen minutes, circle three times
and go back to the bed every fifteen minutes. That's
my ritual. That's tough. To help me have a good
night's sleep, but it really backfires. Yeah. Yeah, baseball is
(25:32):
a lot of guys do weird stuff, Yes, no doubt.
Does Ellen your wife ever say okay Clayton cut it out? Yeah,
yeah she does. Yeah. I mean I think since I've
had kids, I've probably toned down my because when I
used to pitch, like when I on my start days,
I used to not be like a very pleasant person
to be around, just kind of like super serious. Now
(25:54):
with kids, they don't let that happen. So it's been
it's been better, but still a little bit. So. Yeah,
you let the kids know daddy's got to work. Yeah,
they know. I mean, yeah, I try to be better,
but they know, get your hands off my pitcha glove.
I'm your father, Clayton Kershaw. You know I haven't said
(26:15):
that to him yet. Okay, Yeah, Well to their own, Yeah,
to teach their own. Before you go in to deliver
the news, what do you tell Walter, Well, I tell
everyone on the news team, don't forget I'm Ron Burgundy
and you're not have a great show. That's yeah, it's
(26:36):
not really wishing them well, but no, but it just
sets the tone. Do you ever say to your your
do you ever gather up the team before and and say, guys,
if you make an air, I'm gonna punch you in
the nutsack um. I haven't tried that method before. I
don't know if fear is the best thing for guys
playing behind you. Do you say that to your news team?
(26:57):
Like if they mess up? If they mess uh, they don't,
I say, guys, don't mess up, you know you'll be
in the dog ours with me. And if I mess up,
I don't want to hear about it. That seems wildly unfair. Well,
I've got the I've got the juice. You know they
don't yea, So now they don't really like me that
(27:18):
much they want to hang around with me. But I
think we deliver a great product. I would agree. What
is behind the superstition of when a picture is throwing
a no hitter, the team will not talk to that picture.
And when is that determination made? Right around the fifth inning?
Sixth inning? Yeah, I would say fifth or sixth inning.
It's probably fair at that point. And then I don't
(27:40):
know when that started, like you just kind of let
them have their own space and the dugout. I don't
know when that starts. It's it's a little bit freaky
because you see the guy just sitting there. You don't
you don't want to mess with him. If I was
on your team, I would be like, Clayton, how are
you doing? Do you need? Do you want like a
hot dog? Hot dog, old towel or anything? Can I
(28:01):
give you a shoulder rub? You'd probably punched me. Yeah,
I mean, intentions are good there, but I think if
you're the guy that talked to him and then he
gave up a hit, you're that guy. It's not his fault,
it's your fault. Wow. Yeah, I have to cut two.
I love you and your wife have been together since
you were Yeah, that's a beautiful thing. That's a beautiful thing.
(28:24):
So did you go to prom together? We went to
prom together? Yeah? She went to college though. What was
the hit song at prom? Do you remember? I don't
really might have been Backstreet? Yeah maybe yeah, maybe, or
like Christina Aguilera possibly something in there. Yeah. And how
did you ask her out? When you're fifteen? Passing period?
(28:45):
Like after one class, so that way you only have
five minutes so you don't have to like talk around
with small talk after Hey, you want to go out. Okay, cool,
I gotta go to class. And then did you say, Hi,
I'm Clayton Kershaw. I'm one day going to be a
dominant pitcher in Major League Ill would you like to
go on a date? I didn't know that at the time. Okay,
that would have been a very That's true. That's true,
(29:09):
and the rest is history. That's it. She stuck around.
Maybe I'll go back to high school. It's never too late.
I mean. Well, on that note, Clayton Kershaw, we cannot
thank you enough for such a pleasure for joining us
here in the studio. We wish you the best of
luck for the rest of the season. And boy, I
(29:32):
just can't wait to come to a Dodger game and
heckle you this information. I have so much information now
to specifically ask you about. I can't wait. I can't wait.
Thanks so much. Remember when you were in Burlington, Iowa. Yeah,
that'll be one of the heckles. It won't be It'll
just be questions. It will just be a lot of questions. Yeah, yeah, right,
(29:53):
it will be impolite. Okay, Clayton Kershaw, thanks again, We
really appreciate it. Right back on the Ron Burgundy podcast,
And we are back here on the Ron Burgundy Podcast.
(30:14):
What a light Clayton Kershaw turned out to be? And
dare I say a Wonka Wonka come again? Hubba hubbay
goga Google. Handsome baby, that's a little much. I mean,
gave me a sweet tooth, if you know what I mean?
Kind of right? I mean, Carolina, he's handsome, he's he's
(30:35):
a Yeah, he's a handsome human. We gotta take it easy, No,
I'm saying for you. Yeah, I mean he's very happily married.
His wife is lovely. Allen, still right, you gotta layoff this.
I'm just saying. Who it was hard for me to
(30:57):
not get lost in those dreamy eyes. Is you had
dried up drool on the corner of your mouth? Did
I interview? That's embarrassing. You got to give me a
signal next time. Well, kept on refreshing. Did I get
those little white spit corners that Donald Trump develops after
he's snorted too much? Adderall? Yeah, exactly? Okay, Well, okay,
(31:23):
what's wrong? What are you thinking about? No, I'm just
starting to think about my cavity again. Should I tell
my friends? I mean, I don't want people to worry.
I promised you nobody will worry. I'll need you to
pick me up from the surgery, of course, and bring crutches.
It's not like that. I don't know what information you
have is. It's not like I need the crutches necessarily
to walk. I just need people to know, Oh, he's
(31:45):
had surgery. Stay away from me. Creates like a force
field around here. You'll be completely fine. How will my
sight be after the procedure? Is there a chance I
will lose my sight? No, you will have the same
exact Well, that's a relief in fact in some instances.
(32:06):
I wonder if when you get cavity surgery does your
does your vision get better? I've never heard of this,
like when you hit your head and you've all of
a sudden learned a foreign language. Again, never heard of
that happening. I might vision perhaps well, oh Ron, before
I forget. Yes, we spoke multiple times about Clayton's game
(32:28):
last night with the Mets. Right. This podcast will be
airing in the fall, So maybe we just I'm so stupid.
Not that's not necessary. Maybe we just you can seamlessly
stupid and the stupidest man on planet Earth. I hate
when I do that, so I'll fix it. Yeah, I
(32:52):
know exactly what to do. Are you sure you don't
want me to? I know a seamless way to fix it. Okay, Well,
no offense to the Dodge's picture. But next week in
the studio we will have Croatian clown Clayton Kersha. It's
going to scare all the little children into brushing my teeth.
You're gonna have a little army of children that brush
(33:13):
your teeth. Yes, well, you said I needed to brush
my teeth more. Is that easier than brushing your own teeth?
It's just something I won't have to child labor. It's
not child labor. Just some children coming over your house
in morning and at night on a regular cycle to
brush my teeth because they want to do it, because
they know the ramifications of the Croatian clown showing up
(33:36):
in their closet while they sleep. If they don't perform
their task, terrible, terrible myth to spread to children. Is
it more terrible to have a mouth rotting with tooth
the cay? No, your honor, I rest my case, Thank you, No,
that was law and order. We'll see you next time
(33:59):
on the Ron Burgundy Podcast. The Ron Burgundy Podcast is
a production of I Heart Radio and Funnier Die. I'm
Ron Burgundy. The host, writer and executive producer, Carolina Barlow
is my co host, writer and producer. Our producers are
(34:22):
Jack O'Brien, Nick Stump, Miles Gray, and Whitney Hode. Our
executive producer is Mike Ferret. Our exulting producer is Andrew Steele.
Our coordinating producer is Colin McDougall. Our associate producers are
Hannah Hosnier and Sophie Lichterman. Our writer is Jake Vogelness.
Our production coordinator is Hannah Jacobson. This episode was engineered, mixed,
(34:45):
and edited by Nick Stop. Until next time, this is
Ron Burgundy.
Non Berg and Ron Berg and Dan talking and say
anything Berg and wrong back and he's not playing any game.
Good morning, listeners, this is Ron Burgundy and I hope
everyone is having a great morning enjoying the great weather
(00:22):
with a little cup of Joe. Actually, I can't fake
it today. I don't know what to say. I well,
I just it just received some news before walking into
the studio today. I wish I could say it was
good news, but no, it's pretty dark, to be honest,
(00:46):
and not funny dark like Lenny Bruce or or when
a kid falls down. It's just it's just dark and
full of despair. What's going on? Okay, I'll just say it.
I got some results back from my doctor. Oh my god,
Ron and I have an announcement. I have a cavity?
(01:10):
What is wrong with you? And yes, of course I'm scared.
I mean, why me? If it if it had to
happen to anyone, why not Carolina? You know because I
brush my teeth. Excuse me, I brush my teeth. I'm
not an animal. Well you have to brush twice a day,
So do you brush twice a day? Okay, Carolina, A
nice try. I wasn't born, do you mean you weren't
(01:33):
born yesterday, because that's listen. I'm not trying to trick you.
If you have to brush twice a day, when do
you brush your teeth? When do I brush my teeth
when everyone else does on holidays? You only brush your
teeth on holidays, well, not all holidays, I mean Presents
Day isn't really a holiday, is it? So? So I
(01:56):
brushed during Christmas or New Year's I put on some
nice slacks, I brushed the mustache with my ivory comb,
and I brushed my choppers. It's the holiday, so you
want to do it up, and sometimes I forget. I'm
not perfect. Doesn't the smell of your breath bother you?
You mean the smell of rare steak and aged whiskey,
(02:17):
no Carolina, That doesn't bother me, just like the smell
of top ramen and cold brew coffee must not bother you.
Take it easy. Don't your teeth hurt? They felt fine,
like normal teeth, with the texture of wool, And then
out of nowhere, I felt a pain as sharp as
zoos thunderbolt. So I went to the doctor. You went
(02:40):
to your general doctor, yes, Then he referred me to
a specialist you mean a dentist. Oh no, Carolina, are you?
Are you a cabbage survivor as well? I wouldn't call
myself a survivor, but yeah, what wicked webs we weave?
I think we should move on. All right? What are
we doing today? If anything? Well, are definitely doing something today,
(03:01):
and that's that's why we're here in the studio where
you're actually interviewing Clayton Kershaw. Oh right, okay, today we
have Clayton Kersha, the famous Croatian circus cloud. No, no, wait,
I didn't how many Clayton Kershaws are there? And I'm
talking about the Dodgers picture. Well, Carolina, I specifically asked you,
and I think I asked you upwards of fifty thousand
(03:24):
times to get Clayton Kersha, the Croatian circus clown. He
travels through Croatia in a wagon led by mules. And
that's who you wanted to interview, the Croatian circus for
the millionth time. Yes, I mean, does a baseball pitcher
even know anything about Croatia? I'm not sure. I mean,
maybe we just let's stay off the topic of Croatia.
(03:47):
It might not make sense to ask about it. I know,
but I when I think of Clayton Kersha, I'm gonna
think of Croatia. Just keep thinking about baseball, baseball questions.
So he's a baseball player for who the last Angels Dodgers. Oh, yes,
Clayton Kershaw. That Clayton Kersha. Oh he's outstanding. You're very familiar,
very familiar. I can't wait to talk to him. In fact,
(04:08):
we will talk to him right after these messages. And
welcome back to the Ron Burgundy Podcast. We are very
excited to have here in the studio with us from
(04:28):
the Los Angeles Dodgers. Picture Clayton Kershaw. Clayton, welcome to
the podcast. Thanks for having me wrong appreciate it. Carolina.
Are you excited to meet Clayton Kershaw. I'm so excited.
I just learned about baseball and Ron walked me through
a game. Clayton, you're a lefty. I'm a lefty. Were
you always a lefty? Yes? The whole time, the whole time,
(04:49):
whole time. Never you never thought about switching to write.
I thought about it, but I just didn't work. It
didn't work, could not work. Does that give you an
upper hand? Um? You know there's less of us so
it's a little bit more unorthodox. So it definitely helps
a little bit. For sure. The the left hander is
very valuable in Major League Baseball. Yes, but there are
no left added third baseman or catchers. Are you a
(05:12):
lefty wrong? I'm a yeah, I right lefty. So you
didn't play third base? I did? You did? That's why
we lost every game that I couldn't make the throw
across the diamond. You also read while you're on third base?
I did. I would read. I'd have a paperback novel
my back because I got base. I mean, you have to.
It's it's kind of a boring game if you're if
you're not paying attention on the action, is you know,
(05:35):
intermittent at best? Yeah, you're right. I want to write that.
I'm glad I fit that word in intermitted. That was
I have a word a day. I tried to fit
into my language. You were saying ardently a lot. I
said ardently times. Whether it's fit or not, it was
very intermittent. Did you play last night? We did? Yeah,
(05:59):
we played? And who who did you guys? We played
the Mets, New York Mets, and we won. I think
the final school was eight to five. And were you
at home or were you in New York? We were
in l A. Ok, yes, we were home. And how
are the Mets this year? Um, honestly, I don't know
what the record is. I think they're okay because you
don't care, right, you just play your game, Just play
down there, and yeah, they're a good team. I think
(06:19):
they'll be all right. Right, Yeah, what how many innings
did you throw through? Six? Things? I didn't throw very well? Wrong,
I had a rough game. Really, Yeah, it wasn't super great.
Well talk about thanks for asking? Yeah, no, it was good.
We did win. The main point when you when you
don't have a game that you feel great about, how
were you able to just you just gotta forget about it? Right? Yeah,
(06:40):
it's tough, you know, but as a starting pitcher, you
play once every five days, so you got like four
days to think about it and get back at it
that fifth day. So what's your advice to players whatever age?
In high school, middle school, we have a rough day, exactly, Well,
it's gonna happen. I think you know, everybody's gonna have
their bad days in baseball, right, But I think more
(07:00):
than anything, it's just about how you go about it.
And then baseball is a lot about how you handle failure.
You know, there's a lot of failure in baseball, so
it's really important to be able to compartmentalize that. And
um go from there. And you have a son. So
when your son gets older, Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna be
super hard on him. I'm gonna keep the pressure, keep
turn up the heat, let him know. Yeah. Yeah, he's
(07:21):
got a lot to live up to. That's good. Yeah,
I like that. No, I just I just want to
have fun, you know. I just as long as he's
loving baseball, he can play as long as he wants.
But what if he's like dad, Sorry, I like Badminton.
I like leather bound books. What if he enjoys be great.
In fact, I have some leather band books around here somewhere.
I also have a loaf of bread. There it is.
(07:42):
That's my lucky loaf of sour dough. There the listeners,
there's a there's a giant loaf of sour dough bread.
It's kind of like when a Laddin would bite into
a sour dough in the cartoon. I don't remember that, Okay, sorry,
scratch that, you know, Carolina, make it count Okay, we've
got Clayton Kershaw in here. I brought the future Hall
of Famer and you bring up a Laddin and the
(08:03):
bite into the bread and he's about to leave. You're
not gonna leave right now? Okay, Well we'll get back
to um. Let me ask you this question. What's the
worst city to play baseball in? What's the place you
hate the most? I don't know if I can answer that. Um, sure,
go ahead, let me let me. I'll throw some names
out and you can just either I'll not or Cleveland.
(08:24):
It's it's not my favorite. Yeah, it's okay, rock and
roll Hall of Fame. Yeah. Wait, you guys don't play
in Cleveland ever, do you? Very rarely? Milwaukee? I like
Milwaukee sleeper city, sleeper um Albany? Is there a professional
team in Albany? Never been all right? Ah, Miami, it's
(08:51):
it's a fun city, right The team's not great right now?
So the fan atmosphere lacks a little bit, like there's
no one there, not a lot what would you say,
like a thousand people in the stands. It feels like that,
it really does. Can you you guys can hear individual
fans It is way worse when there's less people, because
you can hear the youth sucks way more like way more.
(09:13):
That's what I've heard. I heard. I heard someone was
saying that professional ball players you can never acknowledge anything
that the fans say to you. You're right, but because
if you do, they'll know you can hear them. Yes,
but sometimes you can't help it. Some of it's so
funny though, wrong. What's the weird? Well, some of them
do their research, right, Like they know your wife's name,
(09:36):
your kids names. Yeah, I mean, they know where you're born.
You know, they know anything that Wikipedia has, they'll find
it and say it. And you've got to give them
a little credit. They've done their research. But you know,
I just appreciate a good old you know, you suck,
you know, I mean that's just yeah, it's good. You
can't can't fight that, Just say thank you and move on.
(09:56):
You appreciate the fact that they're as tough of fans
as you would want it. Dodger Stadium, exactly right, Yeah,
I hope we give it give it right, yeah, give
it back. You've you've won three Cy Young Awards? Is
that correct? Correct? Who is Cy Young? Does anyone know?
And then and and my research shows me. And so
(10:17):
in two thousand eleven, you won Baseball's pitching Triple Crown.
What what is that? Exactly? Wins, wins versus losses, E,
R A, and U, strikeouts, strikeouts. So you were the
league leader in all three of those. And then that
next year in did you just did you brag to everyone,
(10:39):
all the other opposing players like triple Crown winner last year?
Everybody I saw. I just kind of wrote it on
my forehead. I mean, you've been described throughout your career
as the best picture in baseball? Do you ever just
scream that at people? Like if you can't get into
you know, Chili's Friday Night, I'm sorry, Mr, Do you
(11:00):
just scream at the hostess, I'm the best pitcher in baseball?
Absolutely great. You can't borrow that for Chilies, by the way,
it's for Clayton. You can't just yell that. Well, I'm
now going to say I know the best pitcher in baseball.
You can see that, give me a booth. You know
what I like about Chilies, though, is they don't play favorites.
(11:21):
So you say that, well, yeah, and you're gonna wait
fifteen minutes. Everybody cannot fault chilies for that. That's right,
they don't they The only democracy laugh is chilies are Um.
Let me ask you this, what's it like to be
a Dodger with all that baseball history. It's awesome, It's
got to be. It's great. I love it. One of
(11:43):
these storied franchises in base not on baseball, but all
of sports. So cool when you put that uniform on,
do you do you sometimes wet your pants? I do? Yeah, Okay, yeah,
I mean it's so many cool people that have been
part of the Dodgers. It's really special. I can think
of all of them, Burt hooting Um, who else? Ah,
(12:07):
mostly Burt hooton all of them, Doug raw Um, I
haven't heard of Doug Doug rawl Burt hooting Um book
who wrong name? Sorry, No, I don't. Here's here's something
that always drives me crazy. I don't think Sandy Kofax
(12:30):
gets enough credit. Four no hitters, a perfect game, all
this while being the first and last Jewish woman ever
to pitch in the big leagues. Why is that overlooked?
It should not be. I mean, no one brings that up.
Nobody There's there hasn't been a female pitcher in baseball
before or since? And and this lady, have you ever
(12:53):
seen a picture of like? I can't. I can't say
that I have. You might want to just google that, Oh,
check that out? Okay, Yeah, anyway, I just don't know
why people don't make a bigger deal. I agree about
the fact that you know, Sandra ko Fax amazing player,
one of my favorites, even though I don't know what
(13:13):
she looks. I couldn't pick her out of a lineup
if I had to. If if they said to me,
Sandy Kofax is down the building, I'd be really nervous
and I'd say, where is she? What sort of dressing? Sandy?
Raise your hand? Now? Is it true that your your
great uncle discovered the planet Pluto? Is very true? Yes, Clyde, Tomball,
(13:38):
Clyde is he really was? He really pissed when they
said Pluto wasn't a planet. He the family was sure.
We've got a lot of you know, we have for
those listeners. Clayton's great uncle was I assume an astronomer
or astrophysicists or something. Yeah, he discovered Pluto would be
great if he's just an insurance silver and he just that. Yeah,
(14:00):
I'm gonna call it Pluto. But he discovered Pluto did
and then when they said it was not a planet,
devastating to the my mom's maiden name Tomba family went crazy. Yes,
I think it's mean to take it back. I think
it is too. I mean what, yeah, who who gets
the authority on planet naming or finding? You know, what's
(14:24):
the governing body that can take that away? I don't know.
So they think that Pluto is just a ball of
inert gas, don't laugh, run run you know where I
get a ball of inner gas. After after I eat
a chilies. I was waiting for that one. Good. Okay,
(14:45):
got that joke in. That was good. Um. I mean
when you retire, do you feel like you need to
discover a planet? I would love to. I don't know.
I feel like everything's I mean, when you're out of baseball,
what is Clayton Kershaw? I think he's gonna do? Can
I can I maybe help you out with the podcast? Wrong?
Oh my god, I would love it. I think all
positions are Oh they're final. I could be an intern,
(15:08):
non paid. You know what, worked your way up from
the bottom, right, I'll pay to learn the craft of
podcasting Roun constantly threads to replace me. So I'm just
really need I won't take your job. I won't do that.
I won't do that. I gotta ask you this. So, Carolina,
you may not know this, but the Dodgers are in
the National League, yes, and the pictures in the National
(15:30):
League have to hit with a sad sack American League.
They don't have to hit what's called a designated hitter.
What do you enjoy hitting as a picture? I love
taking batting practice. Okay, so that's fun because you get
to hit maybe a home run in batting practice and
it's really fun. But then when it comes to the game, Yeah,
that's more difficult. It takes you out of your rhythm. Well,
(15:53):
it's just it's hard and it's hard. Yeah. Hitting is
like really hard, like the hardest thing to do in
sports in my opinion. And I don't practice a lot
um and it's you're facing guys that throw really hard
and it's just hard. It's hard to do. The batting
practice is fun. They throw it right there for you,
right down Broadway, as they say, beautiful stadiums. You get
to be a kid again, no pressure. It's awesome. Do
(16:15):
you ever yelled at the opposing picture like, hey, just
come on, throw it. Throw easy and I'll throw easy
on you. No, because then I have to throw easy
to them, and that's no fun. I gave up a
hit to a picture yesterday. Oh jeez, you get you
get ribbed in the clubhouse for that. I told you
how to rough game yesterday. Note for our listeners, the
(16:36):
game reference by Clayton Kershaw took place in May, not
in the fall when this podcast is airing. Therefore, if
there's any confusion, that's what happened. The game happened earlier
in the season. Thank you for your patience. Good thank you.
Jacob deGrom didn't he used to beautiful flowing locks of hair.
(16:59):
He did, he can, and he cut it all off.
I don't know why. I trust me. If you've got
a luscious mane of hair, don't don't get rid of it,
because once it's gone, there's a good chance it's never
coming back. Sometimes it grows. I never cut my hair,
and it never grows. It's the same link all the time.
(17:22):
It's a genetic imperfection. Oh my god, I was born
with this head of hair. Yes, as a baby. Yes,
that's so insane and the doctor was like, this is
one gorgeous kid. Um. How many Dodger dogs have you
had in one sitting? I've wanted to join the hot
(17:45):
dog eating contest. I think I would do well, but
I think two is probably the most I've had in
one sitting. Did you ever want to meet Kobe Ashi,
the professional hot dog eater? That's amazing. He's what did
he eat sixty or something like that? Yes, amazing, Caroline.
How many hot dogs have you eaten today? In general?
I've eaten three or four hot dogs. There's nothing. I
(18:09):
don't know what it is about a dodge or dog.
If you eat it fast enough, your body can't tell
you your fault. And that's their slogan. You really do. Um.
You know what. Sometimes I'll go to and all you
can eat sushi and just sit there for six hours.
I can't kick you out. I put a do not
disturb side at my table and they get pissed at me.
(18:33):
It's pretty crazy, and I'll just point to their sign
all it says all you can eat, not even a
time limit. You know what, don't call yourself all you
can eat. They've taken you out and you've been literally
punching in the air, just dragged out by L A. P. D.
But gosh, darnett if I didn't eat two th dollars
(18:56):
with the sushi. Yeah, not great sushi, not great sushi,
but you can't resist deal. And a lot of times
I'll go to the places with the be Health Code rating. Yeah,
I don't know why, because they're happy to have me.
They'll let me stay as long as they want. Um.
The minor leagues. How many years were you in the
minor leagues? Clayton too, Just two years. Yeah, that's pretty quick. Yeah,
(19:20):
it was a little quick, Yeah, but it was. It
was a good experience. I had fun. But the minor leagues,
I mean it's it's you know, you're riding busses. Yeah,
you're it's not glamorous and not glamorous. No, not good.
But you get to see some places you never see.
Like have you ever been to Burlington, Iowa? I love it? Okay,
well most people I say that I've got I've got
a summer place there right on the lake. Burlington has
(19:44):
a lake, doesn't Well, maybe it's a reservoir, the man
made lakes. Maybe it's somewhere completely different, could be, could
be but it's it's a good time. You get to
hang out. And Burlington, I what were some of the
other cities, Clinton, A lot of places in Iowa. Shockingly, um, Appleton, Wisconsin.
This is the Midwest League. And would this have been
(20:04):
uh single A double this was? This was single A
and and then the other league was called the Southern League.
And so I went to places like Jackson, Mississippi, Sebulon,
North Carolina. Um, yeah, just and just You're staying in
motels and yeah, you get what with a roommate, you
(20:24):
share a room forty bucks a day for meal money,
for meal money. They might it might have pushed up,
but it was twenty. So you're in a lot of
subway sandwiches and yeah subway actually, yes, all the time. Wow,
anytime during that stent, we're like this blows. Yeah, for sure,
(20:46):
for sure a lot. But that's why you try to
go fast get out of there. Did you ever set
a timetable? In other words, if if it's five years
and I'm still a double A, forget it, hang it up,
I'll go. Well, so I don't go to be a
substitute school teacher? Yeah, I see, I would have need
school for that, which would have been a problem because
I didn't. I didn't. You went straight out of high school.
(21:06):
I didn't go to college, so that was kind of
my Hey, I've got four years. I would have been
in college. So I got four years and then I
would have had to think about some things probably, but
thank god it worked out. It did work out. Scouted,
how old were you when you started getting scouted? High school? Yeah,
but you were like a senior, junior, senior, and you
get a choice. We probably were being offered college scholarships.
(21:30):
I didn't have some. I could have gone to college.
I was actually gonna go to Texas A and M University,
and then you just decided, let's just go for it. Yeah.
I decided, Yeah, why not. I want to play baseball.
I didn't want to go to school. Yeah, I just
did it the whole time. Though. You were still going
to night school, right, yeah, still doing that. But to
to study to become a dermatologist, you don't have to
go to college for that. I don't think so. No,
(21:52):
I think it's the one medical fieldlogist. My dermatologist never
went to school. I know he In fact, he a
double a baseball. Yeah. He was a catcher and you
have a huge mole. Yeah, I have. I have a
mole on the back of my neck. I think he
referred to it as a home run. I also have
(22:13):
a cavity. We have to let that one go. It's
not as bad as you and and my dentist was
also a former minor league ball player, so life is
funny that way. Do you have a good dermatologist? Do
you need one? You should see My guy sounds good
oddly enough. You know what his name is, Sandy. He's
(22:35):
a guy though, he's a guy. Okay, okay, which is
a weird name for a guy. Um, do you ever
get jocketch. I'm just gonna cut to the chase. I've learned.
I've learned my lesson. Yeah, um, yeah, you have the
baby powder is a must. I once got jocketch right,
and then I made the mistake of scratching my eyes
(22:57):
and I had jocketch all in my eyes. Oh my god,
chockic in my eyeballs. Never heard of that. But then
I went to eat all you can eat sushi. It
was a hell of a weekend, Oh my god. In fact,
that was one of the places that had an A rating.
And they're like, thanks to you, Mr Burgundy, we've gotta
be rating. We've got jockeys all in our sushi. But
(23:20):
you've heard that phrase, I got jockey itch all up
in my sushi. I don't think I think that's a
bad situation. I feel like I heard it in a
hip hop song. That's something that's new in baseball. Everyone
has a play on like, so when you go to
the plate, a walk up. So what are your thoughts?
What are your thoughts? I'm more of a purist. I
just like a little organ music, maybe a little organ
(23:43):
Casey in the Sunshine band, Dent d d d Dan
Dan Dan Dan Dan Dan. That's the way I like it. Uh,
take me out to the ball game. And that's about it.
But now there's all everyone's got a song. It's a
it's a it's a bit of a thing. Do you
guys change their song if they're slump? Okay, it's a
it's a whole ordeal. Yeah yeah. Do you have any
(24:05):
good luck? Ritual it's a very ritualistic game. Yes, you
probably have a hole. You don't want to share them? Well,
you don't have to talk about it, Okay, I've worn
the same glove for a long time. Yeah, that's no
big deal. Like ten years it's yeah, not a big deal.
Like do I wear like my same underwear like all
that stuff? Oh? You do? I do? I mean I
wash them. But I've warned the same ones for a
(24:26):
while when I pitched you do that, I war the
same underwear washed. I only have three pair of underwear
we got for your birthday and they're not lucky yet.
What's the craziest superstition you've heard of? Any of your teammates?
You don't have to say who? Let me think here?
(24:48):
Um well, actually you know the craziest guy. I can
say a name here because they're okay with it. Yes,
he's retired, Um no more. Yeah, I played with No Maar.
And the amount of stuff that he did with his
batting gloves and his bad and he had that it
was a whole thing. I mean, how do you remember
all that? It's amazing. He probably just naturally does it.
(25:10):
Just twitched all the time. Yeah, I mean it was.
It was amazing. I don't sleep well at night, partly
because I get up every fifteen minutes, circle three times
and go back to the bed every fifteen minutes. That's
my ritual. That's tough. To help me have a good
night's sleep, but it really backfires. Yeah. Yeah, baseball is
(25:32):
a lot of guys do weird stuff, Yes, no doubt.
Does Ellen your wife ever say okay Clayton cut it out? Yeah,
yeah she does. Yeah. I mean I think since I've
had kids, I've probably toned down my because when I
used to pitch, like when I on my start days,
I used to not be like a very pleasant person
to be around, just kind of like super serious. Now
(25:54):
with kids, they don't let that happen. So it's been
it's been better, but still a little bit. So. Yeah,
you let the kids know daddy's got to work. Yeah,
they know. I mean, yeah, I try to be better,
but they know, get your hands off my pitcha glove.
I'm your father, Clayton Kershaw. You know I haven't said
(26:15):
that to him yet. Okay, Yeah, Well to their own, Yeah,
to teach their own. Before you go in to deliver
the news, what do you tell Walter, Well, I tell
everyone on the news team, don't forget I'm Ron Burgundy
and you're not have a great show. That's yeah, it's
(26:36):
not really wishing them well, but no, but it just
sets the tone. Do you ever say to your your
do you ever gather up the team before and and say, guys,
if you make an air, I'm gonna punch you in
the nutsack um. I haven't tried that method before. I
don't know if fear is the best thing for guys
playing behind you. Do you say that to your news team?
(26:57):
Like if they mess up? If they mess uh, they don't,
I say, guys, don't mess up, you know you'll be
in the dog ours with me. And if I mess up,
I don't want to hear about it. That seems wildly unfair. Well,
I've got the I've got the juice. You know they
don't yea, So now they don't really like me that
(27:18):
much they want to hang around with me. But I
think we deliver a great product. I would agree. What
is behind the superstition of when a picture is throwing
a no hitter, the team will not talk to that picture.
And when is that determination made? Right around the fifth inning?
Sixth inning? Yeah, I would say fifth or sixth inning.
It's probably fair at that point. And then I don't
(27:40):
know when that started, like you just kind of let
them have their own space and the dugout. I don't
know when that starts. It's it's a little bit freaky
because you see the guy just sitting there. You don't
you don't want to mess with him. If I was
on your team, I would be like, Clayton, how are
you doing? Do you need? Do you want like a
hot dog? Hot dog, old towel or anything? Can I
(28:01):
give you a shoulder rub? You'd probably punched me. Yeah,
I mean, intentions are good there, but I think if
you're the guy that talked to him and then he
gave up a hit, you're that guy. It's not his fault,
it's your fault. Wow. Yeah, I have to cut two.
I love you and your wife have been together since
you were Yeah, that's a beautiful thing. That's a beautiful thing.
(28:24):
So did you go to prom together? We went to
prom together? Yeah? She went to college though. What was
the hit song at prom? Do you remember? I don't
really might have been Backstreet? Yeah maybe yeah, maybe, or
like Christina Aguilera possibly something in there. Yeah. And how
did you ask her out? When you're fifteen? Passing period?
(28:45):
Like after one class, so that way you only have
five minutes so you don't have to like talk around
with small talk after Hey, you want to go out. Okay, cool,
I gotta go to class. And then did you say, Hi,
I'm Clayton Kershaw. I'm one day going to be a
dominant pitcher in Major League Ill would you like to
go on a date? I didn't know that at the time. Okay,
that would have been a very That's true. That's true,
(29:09):
and the rest is history. That's it. She stuck around.
Maybe I'll go back to high school. It's never too late.
I mean. Well, on that note, Clayton Kershaw, we cannot
thank you enough for such a pleasure for joining us
here in the studio. We wish you the best of
luck for the rest of the season. And boy, I
(29:32):
just can't wait to come to a Dodger game and
heckle you this information. I have so much information now
to specifically ask you about. I can't wait. I can't wait.
Thanks so much. Remember when you were in Burlington, Iowa. Yeah,
that'll be one of the heckles. It won't be It'll
just be questions. It will just be a lot of questions. Yeah, yeah, right,
(29:53):
it will be impolite. Okay, Clayton Kershaw, thanks again, We
really appreciate it. Right back on the Ron Burgundy podcast,
And we are back here on the Ron Burgundy Podcast.
(30:14):
What a light Clayton Kershaw turned out to be? And
dare I say a Wonka Wonka come again? Hubba hubbay
goga Google. Handsome baby, that's a little much. I mean,
gave me a sweet tooth, if you know what I mean?
Kind of right? I mean, Carolina, he's handsome, he's he's
(30:35):
a Yeah, he's a handsome human. We gotta take it easy, No,
I'm saying for you. Yeah, I mean he's very happily married.
His wife is lovely. Allen, still right, you gotta layoff this.
I'm just saying. Who it was hard for me to
(30:57):
not get lost in those dreamy eyes. Is you had
dried up drool on the corner of your mouth? Did
I interview? That's embarrassing. You got to give me a
signal next time. Well, kept on refreshing. Did I get
those little white spit corners that Donald Trump develops after
he's snorted too much? Adderall? Yeah, exactly? Okay, Well, okay,
(31:23):
what's wrong? What are you thinking about? No, I'm just
starting to think about my cavity again. Should I tell
my friends? I mean, I don't want people to worry.
I promised you nobody will worry. I'll need you to
pick me up from the surgery, of course, and bring crutches.
It's not like that. I don't know what information you
have is. It's not like I need the crutches necessarily
to walk. I just need people to know, Oh, he's
(31:45):
had surgery. Stay away from me. Creates like a force
field around here. You'll be completely fine. How will my
sight be after the procedure? Is there a chance I
will lose my sight? No, you will have the same
exact Well, that's a relief in fact in some instances.
(32:06):
I wonder if when you get cavity surgery does your
does your vision get better? I've never heard of this,
like when you hit your head and you've all of
a sudden learned a foreign language. Again, never heard of
that happening. I might vision perhaps well, oh Ron, before
I forget. Yes, we spoke multiple times about Clayton's game
(32:28):
last night with the Mets. Right. This podcast will be
airing in the fall, So maybe we just I'm so stupid.
Not that's not necessary. Maybe we just you can seamlessly
stupid and the stupidest man on planet Earth. I hate
when I do that, so I'll fix it. Yeah, I
(32:52):
know exactly what to do. Are you sure you don't
want me to? I know a seamless way to fix it. Okay, Well,
no offense to the Dodge's picture. But next week in
the studio we will have Croatian clown Clayton Kersha. It's
going to scare all the little children into brushing my teeth.
You're gonna have a little army of children that brush
(33:13):
your teeth. Yes, well, you said I needed to brush
my teeth more. Is that easier than brushing your own teeth?
It's just something I won't have to child labor. It's
not child labor. Just some children coming over your house
in morning and at night on a regular cycle to
brush my teeth because they want to do it, because
they know the ramifications of the Croatian clown showing up
(33:36):
in their closet while they sleep. If they don't perform
their task, terrible, terrible myth to spread to children. Is
it more terrible to have a mouth rotting with tooth
the cay? No, your honor, I rest my case, Thank you, No,
that was law and order. We'll see you next time
(33:59):
on the Ron Burgundy Podcast. The Ron Burgundy Podcast is
a production of I Heart Radio and Funnier Die. I'm
Ron Burgundy. The host, writer and executive producer, Carolina Barlow
is my co host, writer and producer. Our producers are
(34:22):
Jack O'Brien, Nick Stump, Miles Gray, and Whitney Hode. Our
executive producer is Mike Ferret. Our exulting producer is Andrew Steele.
Our coordinating producer is Colin McDougall. Our associate producers are
Hannah Hosnier and Sophie Lichterman. Our writer is Jake Vogelness.
Our production coordinator is Hannah Jacobson. This episode was engineered, mixed,
(34:45):
and edited by Nick Stop. Until next time, this is
Ron Burgundy.
Host
Will Ferrell
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