April 16, 2020 • 24 mins
Ron goes clear.
CREDITS:
Host, Writer, and Executive Producer: Ron Burgundy
Co-host, Writer and Producer: Carolina Barlow
Producer: Nick Stumpf
Talent Producer: Anna Hossnieh
Writers: Andrew Steele and Jake Fogelnest
Engineered, Mixed and Edited by Nick Stumpf
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Ron Burgundy Podcast. It's Fun podcast. Hello and welcome back
to another episode of the Run Burgundy Podcast. I'm Run
Burgundy with me as always is Carolina, and Uh, I
want to ask a favor to some of the listeners
(00:21):
on this show. Uh, some of you who have recently
been coming up to me in public. Run. Wait, you've
been out in public? No? No, no, no, no no, no.
Of course not Carolina. I'm I'm observing the quarantine the
unless you've been living under a rock, you of course
know about the Colonial nineteen virus. Of course, Colonial nineteen
(00:45):
the name. A lot of people don't know where the
name comes from coronavirus, because I think it came from
the original nineteen colonies the Eastern Seaboard. We are a
source for journalism. We have to be of integrity, and
that's why we're mentioning Colonial nine teen. Okay, is that
not correct? No, it's absolutely incorrect. But I then please
(01:08):
correct me, because I pray the fact that we educate
as well as inform. Okay, it's a coronavirus um nineteen.
That's a strain um. It doesn't come from the original
nineteen colonies. Nineteen colonies. It's come on it's thirteen colonies.
Third way, hold on, hold on, okay, Okay, so it's
(01:29):
COVID nineteen got you got me, But there were nineteen there. Okay,
let's go through them. Let's go through them. Here we go. Okay,
h New York, Rhode Island, Massachusetts, North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Virginia,
(01:51):
New Hampshire, something like that. New Jersey getting Iffy Pennsylvania.
Sure that sounds right. Um, we shouldn't even be talking
about it because it's Ohio. You know what they say.
(02:11):
You know, they always say you have to get the
original colonies if you're ever gonna win a presidential election.
Oh okay, I don't think they mean you need to
know them, um off the top of your head. I
mean colonies like Florida, Ohio, Michigan, Wisconsin. We're missing them.
That's what happened to Hilary. She didn't get the original colonies.
I think we'll have to go back to the board
with all of this. Well anyway, um, yes, back to
(02:35):
your original question, Caroline, I have not been out in public.
I'm on day two of my quarantine and as you
can see over the zoom, we're broadcasting on I'm at
my house in Florida, just finished up a little spring
break with the Governor round de Santis. Good dude, good dude.
We call ourselves the two Rounds, and we wear matching sunglasses.
(02:58):
It's very cool. You just started Andine listened that guy.
Don't worry. I'm taking two hydroxy cuts um as a preventative.
I think that's that's a diet pell that's something. Girls,
I've never looked better. I've lost pounds. Oh my god,
I see it in my face. You do look gone.
I got rid of my jewels. I don't know. You
(03:20):
look tired. Yeah, I pop a couple of those, and
me and Governor Ronnie the two Rounds. We we head
out on the town. But yeah, two days in, I've
been quarantine for five days? How you do? I am
so bored right now. This whole thing is a real
pain in the key stir, isn't it? I would say
(03:41):
that's a major understatement. I mean, quarantine probably doesn't change
much about your life, Carolina. I mean, let's let's be honest.
How many how many episodes of The Tiger Man Show
did you did you watch? In one sitting? While dropping
food on your shirt? Okay, because I can see the stains.
I think you mean Tiger King and I actually have
watched yet. I mean, I'm planning on it, but I've
(04:02):
mostly just been watching the news. It's hard to speaking
of the news. Yeah, I'd like to send a shout out,
a professional journalistic shout out to Fox News is Trish Reagan. Look, Trish,
if you're listening, and you probably are because you got fired,
I get it. I've said some really dumb stuff on
(04:22):
the air before, and I've been fired lots of times,
though nothing quite as dumb as what you said, Trish.
I mean, wow, and this is Ron Burgundy talking here. Yeah,
that's saying a lot, Trish. Hang in there, Trish Reagan,
see you at the auto show. You'll you'll get some
industrial somewhere. You'll bounce back from this and no time.
(04:43):
Trust me, it might take a second, but um yeah,
maybe you can open a big cat zoo. You can
take over Joke Exotics operation. There's an option and move
to Oklahoma. Did you know they're up to ten thousand
wild big cats in the United States and there's only
four thousand tigers in the wild. It's crazy, astonishing, it's
(05:07):
so upsetting. It just makes you how many tigers, how
many big cats do you have? I was just going
to say, it makes you realize what a wonderful market
there is for them, and what in a wonderful investment opportunity.
I don't think that's why they released that statistic. I
think that they were saying that we shouldn't keep these
animals in captivity and there should be more of them
in the wild. Yeah, I can see that, you're really
(05:29):
they were over see I saw it as a great
amendment to people's four oh one k plans. Oh I
did not see it that way. And that's what's great
about these documentaries. People can debate over what the point
of it was. But I'll tell you this much. I
(05:50):
put my money down on Kevin Bacon being cast. Is
Joe exotic? He would kill it? Are you kidding me?
I don't know. Talked to Trishery again. She knows anyway.
As I was saying when I started my story, saying
about people who come up to me right before the
(06:10):
quarantine obviously, and you mean like three days ago for you,
three days ago exactly. But I'm always happy to say
hello and and sign your autograph books and take a selfie.
But I gotta be honest, folks, I'm getting a little
tired of the questions about Carolina, stuff like who the
hell is she? And why is she on the show,
and did you win a contest or something. I mean,
(06:32):
I don't have the answers. And honestly, yes, are you
serious people are coming up to you on the street
about the podcast and saying those things about me. Okay, okay,
I'll come clean, I'll come queen. It was one guy, Okay,
there you go, but he was very passionate about his
dislike for you. Um. Also, you know what they say,
(06:52):
the voice of one audience member speaks for like sixty
million silent ones listening. First, I think those fake yours
are a little inflated. Um. And second, I wouldn't take
the word of one man as a reason to begin
our show today with basically an insulting apology for my
very existence. I mean that that man just sounds rude.
(07:14):
Would you take the word for repeating it? Would you
take the word of one man if that one man
was Jesus Christ. Oh, that's a weird question. Um. I'm
just saying I wouldn't even know how to begin to
answer that that's a sidebar for another day and another millennium.
But so you're saying the man was rude, that's your point. Okay,
(07:36):
I'll give that to you. And the guy actually was
very rude, openly rude. Yes. In fact, Caroline, you'll get
a kick out of this. He had a T shirt
on that said rude dude with a crude attitude. Let
me tell you, a man who wears a shirt like
that is broadcasting that he's not someone to mess with,
you know. Okay, So this whole introduction is based on
(07:57):
a man who was wearing a novel t T shirt.
I don't know. I don't get a kick out of
that shirt. I met him at an all night diner.
I was home, dead asleep, woke up and had a
sudden craving for Reuben sandwich and it was just ravenous
for a Reuben. You don't you know what I mean?
You ever get that? No, but you've called me about
those before. Anyway, I showered, shaved, got fully dressed into
(08:18):
a three piece suit, and then I drove as fast
as I could to the all night dinner. And it
was late, so I was probably clock and eighty five. Okay, Um,
I'm sorry. Hold on, you put on a suit to
go to a dinner in the middle of the night. Yeah,
I really wanted a Ruben sandwich. What You've never gotten
a craving for a Reuben in the middle of the
(08:39):
night and drove thirty miles to the best diner in
San Marcos, California. I have done that for you. Um
actually the night of the Oscar with my family, and
I've always appreciated. Yeah, what can I tell you? Learned
to live a little bit, Carolina? I mean, come on, seriously, Okay,
even if I wanted a Reuben sandwich that bad, you
(09:00):
put on a three piece suit. Just wear sweatpants or something.
That's the difference between you and me right there. I'd
actually like to see you not wear sweatpants once in
a while. I don't always wear sweatpants. You know. It's
funny they say that one of the symptoms of colonial
nineteen COVID night is that you lose taste, right, Caroline,
(09:26):
I think you. I think you haven't because I have
no taste. Okay, you've been shoving a DJ Max for
a long time, you really have. I'm like, well, Caroline
has had it for as long as I've known her
going on four years now. I were perfectly normal clothes. Look,
I'm a man of distinction, I really am. And I
can't just show up anywhere in sweatpants like you. You know,
(09:48):
maybe to the gym, but certainly not an all night
diner in San Marcos. What if someone recognized me, which
they did. This man came right up to me and
said Ron Burgundy. And I looked up and I saw
his T shirt, and I'll admit I was immediately very
intimidated because he had a shirt on that said rude,
rude dude with a crude attitude exactly. I mean, this
(10:11):
guy was just putting it all out there wearing that shirt.
So I said to him, look, buddy, I don't want
any trouble. And then I just tossed my wallet on
the table and I figured, let him take it. It's
not worth whatever is on the other side of what
his T shirt was broadcasting. You know, that's like an
old novel T shirt they used to sell a gift shops.
Right Well, I don't know where he got it. All
(10:32):
I know is that it was it was air brushed
and had an angry looking dog on it, and it
was very highly effective. It doesn't sound that scary to me.
It was the middle of the night woman. I was
just trying to enjoy a Reuben sandwich, not get murdered.
Calm down. I am calmed. Oh my god, particularly because
the situation quickly de escalated because it turned out it
(10:56):
wasn't a vagrant who wanted to take my money. He
was just a really big fan of mine. So a
special shout out today to Robbie B, a long haul
trucker and a big fan of the Ron Burgundy podcast.
Except for you. Yeah, I don't want to shout him out,
he said. When Carolina speaks, I actually honked the horn
on my rig and it still doesn't drown out her
terrible voice. That has to be an exaggeration because I
(11:18):
wrote it down. I'm reading it off the napkin that
I took from the diner. And if you could just
keep that in mind while we do today's show, Carolina,
I think Robbie B would appreciate it. And I also
think he speaks for a lot of our audience. Okay,
I'll I don't think that's very helpful, but thank you,
Robbie B. Constructive criticism, just trying to do the best
(11:38):
show weekend. Use your thirty miles in the middle of
the night to get a Reuben Sam and I made
a new friend in the process. My life is going great. Carolina. Hey,
let's take a break and we'll get into today's show
a topic I'm very excited to discuss with our audience, spirituality.
(12:09):
We are back on the Round Burgundy podcast with Carolina,
Who's going to do her very best to try and
talk a little less. I'm just going to do the
show as I normally. Today we're going to be discussing
something I'm very passionate about, spirituality. I have to say
I was a bit surprised and I was moved actually
that you wanted to dedicate an entire episode of spirituality
(12:33):
on here, Carolina. I am a deeply spiritual person. Does
that not come across to you? It's it's not the
first thing that jumps to mind when I think of you. Wow.
That well, that's interesting because I have been told I
radiate spirituality. I mean, I'm not I'm not comparing myself
to the Dalai Lama or anything, but I think a
(12:54):
lot of people would agree that we have a similar,
you know, vibe in coming. Who told you that you
have a similar vibe to the Dalai Wama. Well, for start,
is my main man, Ronnie B from the dinner the
other night. Okay, the same guy wearing the rude dude
with a crude attitude T shirt who you thought was
trying to steal your wallet. Yeah, well we we actually
(13:14):
got pretty deep in that dinner. Okay, Well, however we
got here. I think it's a great topic for the
show today. I really do good good and I think
we should make it clear. Today's show is about the
broad spectrum of spirituality, whatever that means to you. We're
not here to discuss religion. That's a great point. This
is a nondenominational conversation exactly. We're not going to be
(13:36):
talking about demons because they are they are scary, and
it's non demon national So we're saying two different things.
But I think the audience understands what we're getting at. Look,
I don't care if you're a Christian or Jewish or
Harri Krishna, as long as you you don't bother me
at an airport, believe in the faith of your choosing
the airport comment is a bit of a stereotype about
(13:59):
those devote a hard Christia. Do you think, Oh, well,
don't elaborate on that thought. Okay. I think what you're
trying to say is that we are focusing on the
concept of spirituality how people use it in their day
to day lives, and there's no particular religion or higher
power that we're endorsing or advocating for. It's just a
discussion about faith and how it plays a role in
(14:21):
our lives. Exactly, spirituality. We are going to talk about
it because I don't care if you're the richest man
in the world or a woman who comes to work
and sweatpants every day, like Carolina. We're all basically looking
for the same thing to live our best lives. So Carolina,
what does spirituality mean to you? Okay? I think you
(14:43):
can find spirituality anywhere. It's sort of a calm we
find within ourselves, and it might involve a higher power.
It could just be the idea of acceptance and letting
go of resentment. You might find your spirituality in a church,
or you might find it in a flower. M I
mean that's where you've lost me. Spiritu reality in a flower. No, No,
that's nonsense. There is only one true path to enlightenment,
(15:06):
and that is through a book I recently read called Dianetics.
I'm sorry what diane Netics? Great book by Little Ronnie Hubbard.
L Ron Hubbard L is short for a little and
look I have a copy right here. It's got a
cool volcano on the cover. This is a very sensitive
subject you're getting into here, and I just let's tread lightly.
(15:29):
We're just talking about spirituality, Carolina. There's there's no right
or wrong way to talk about it. It's just I've
been doing a lot of reading recently and taking some
very interesting courses, and I thought I would use this
platform and discuss some interesting stuff I've learned. Did Ron
did you say you were taking courses? Yes? Yes, and
(15:49):
they're worth every penny. I'll tell you some of them
are not cheap, but I'm I'm getting a lot out
of it, and you should come with me. Sometimes they
have this this really cool thing at my rich where
you where you hold two metal rounds. Okay, I think
I know what you're talking about, and I want to
speak for myself, and I think on behalf of my
Heart Radio that we are just having a general conversation
(16:10):
about spirituality anything I or Ron says is a matter
of opinion in not facts. Carolina, you seem really nervous
all of a sudden. What is it with you? Why
does the subject of spirituality make you so nervous? Okay, Ron, again,
this is just an opinion. But I think the recent
path to spirituality you're on at the moment, you just
(16:30):
might want to do a little more Internet research. Oh no, no, no, no,
they specifically told me not to do that. Besides, Carolina,
you know the Internet is filled with all all kinds
of lies and fake news. Please don't invoke that phrase seriously, though.
I could put up a website right now that says
Carolina has ten boyfriends and there are actually some people
(16:52):
who might be dumb enough to believe it, could you imagine? No,
you have to be very very careful on the internet.
You also you also have to be very careful around spirituality.
And there's there's a lot of people out there selling
a bunch of mumbo jumbo and the next thing you know,
you're in some weird cult. Yes, yes, exactly, that is
(17:13):
true and a very good point, Roan. You should be
careful with spirituality. I'm talking specifically you. I'm looking at
you right now, and I'm looking at you too. Those
Spirituality is a good thing in people's lives. There's occasionally
some folks who might be a little lost. Yeah, maybe
they've recently gone through a breakup with an international pop star.
(17:37):
Perhaps there are a celebrity or someone kind of lost
in vulnerable, very vulnerable group. Yes again, I'm speaking in
general about spirituality, not about any particular church or group.
And that's sort of what I was trying to get to.
And I said, you could find spirituality and a flower,
which you definitely can't do. But I have found a
terrific path. I'm I'm currently O T three feeling terrific um.
(18:01):
So the letters O and T could stand for anything.
Just putting that out there on behalf of myself run
in the legal department of my heart radio. Thank you. Wow, Carolina,
you are very tense. I think what you are experiencing
right now is a lot of ingrams in your body.
Is there a mental image or a traumatic event from
your past you would like to tell me about right
(18:23):
now in detail. I'd like to discuss it with you
over and over again for several hours, and trust me,
it can help a lot. I don't think that's a
good idea of run really well, another good spiritual activity
is to do a purification rundown and I can probably
set that up for you if you'd like. I'm not
sure I know what a purification rundown is, and I'm
(18:44):
not sure. We need to discuss that sp SP coming
down the pike? True? What's an sp? Get all about
the your suppressive person. I'm here the words of a
suppressive person. Okay, I mean you have to know your
body is filled with toxins and radioactive particles and the
purification run. Okay, run, we are I think we should
(19:09):
just take a commercial break. But we're just getting into
the nitty gritty of spirituality. Hold on, let's just um.
I want you do you see those two little metal
sticks there? Can you grab ahold of that? I want
to see what your eye meter reading is? Can you
just grab those? Just just try it? Just grab Okay?
(19:29):
What does the meter say? Uh? Two? Three? Oh? Golly?
SP If I've ever seen one? I don't, I mean,
this seems so arbitrary. Well, it won't be arbitrary when
you sign a contract for a billion years. Oh, I
don't think I would never do that. Ron, did you
(19:49):
sign something I may have, Ron, this is, I may
have signed it for how long? I just signed this?
It's a standard contract. I don't know how standard that is.
You are a passenger on a spaceship, and that spaceship
is called Earth, except it's called so you might as
(20:13):
well sign the contract for a billion years. I don't
want I don't want to. I don't even understand what
this is. Is there a man in the room with
you right now wearing a light blue shirt and dark
pants with great little amulets on his shoulders. Oh no,
Todd Craig, another bearded man named Stacy. Are they there yet?
(20:34):
Are they coming to my coming to bring you the paperwork? Ron,
whoever you're involved with, I would just say, cut great people,
change your number. Please just can you just sign the paperwork?
And just you're making this so much more awkward and
we'll just begin very simple, this purification rundown and it's
(20:55):
so not a big deal. The Ron Burgundy podcast will
be back after this prerecorded message off his Mike place. Hello,
and welcome back to the Run Burgundy podcast. And yes
(21:17):
we we took a long break. It it wasn't long
for you, the listener, but it was it was long
here in the studio, Carolina boy, thank you for sharing
with me some some reading materials. I have come out
a little more educated than I was at the start
of the show. However, I don't know how to get
(21:40):
out of this billion year contract I signed. I I
don't know what you're gonna do about it. I'm gonna
be honest with you. That's terrifying. I mean, I can
only hope that in some way it's not binding. Yeah,
I mean I think you just got a lay a
lot a while. Okay, so I can do that. That's right.
Now quarantine comes into Effectum, great, great, Yes, duly noted. Yeah.
(22:09):
And also to Ronnie b if you're listening to the
guy met in the diner in San Marcos, California, you
can shut up about Carolina. I'm not sure about the
volcano book you gave me. Oh man, now I'm I'm
feeling stressed out. Oh you know what, I actually have
something that can help you with that. I like to
use these essential oils here. You can just dab a
(22:30):
little bit behind your ears. Essential oils. Carolina, you idiot,
You're involved with a classic pyramid scheme. Oils. Wow, the
oldest trick in the book What's Next, You're gonna sell
me some headache tonic, because I have all that I
need in my house and it's called Scotch. I am
not involved with the pyramid scheme anyway. To sum up spirituality,
(22:54):
it's a part of our lives. You can find it anywhere, yes,
even in a flat hour. But just be careful with
that stuff and don't, whatever you do, under any circumstance,
sell your soul to the devil. I have a couple
of buddies who did that, and it's a real hassle.
(23:15):
Thanks for listening, Ron Burgundy Podcast. Until next time, Watch Out.
The Ron Burgundy Podcast is a production of I Heart Radio.
I'm Ron Burgundy. The host, writer and executive producer. Carolina
Barlow is my co host, writer and producer. Our producer
(23:38):
is Nick Stop. Our talent coordinator is Anna Hosnyan writers
are Andrew Steele and Jake Boboss. This episode was engineered, mixed,
and edited by Nick Stop. Until next Time, This is
Ron Burgundy.
Ron Burgundy Podcast. It's Fun podcast. Hello and welcome back
to another episode of the Run Burgundy Podcast. I'm Run
Burgundy with me as always is Carolina, and Uh, I
want to ask a favor to some of the listeners
(00:21):
on this show. Uh, some of you who have recently
been coming up to me in public. Run. Wait, you've
been out in public? No? No, no, no, no no, no.
Of course not Carolina. I'm I'm observing the quarantine the
unless you've been living under a rock, you of course
know about the Colonial nineteen virus. Of course, Colonial nineteen
(00:45):
the name. A lot of people don't know where the
name comes from coronavirus, because I think it came from
the original nineteen colonies the Eastern Seaboard. We are a
source for journalism. We have to be of integrity, and
that's why we're mentioning Colonial nine teen. Okay, is that
not correct? No, it's absolutely incorrect. But I then please
(01:08):
correct me, because I pray the fact that we educate
as well as inform. Okay, it's a coronavirus um nineteen.
That's a strain um. It doesn't come from the original
nineteen colonies. Nineteen colonies. It's come on it's thirteen colonies.
Third way, hold on, hold on, okay, Okay, so it's
(01:29):
COVID nineteen got you got me, But there were nineteen there. Okay,
let's go through them. Let's go through them. Here we go. Okay,
h New York, Rhode Island, Massachusetts, North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Virginia,
(01:51):
New Hampshire, something like that. New Jersey getting Iffy Pennsylvania.
Sure that sounds right. Um, we shouldn't even be talking
about it because it's Ohio. You know what they say.
(02:11):
You know, they always say you have to get the
original colonies if you're ever gonna win a presidential election.
Oh okay, I don't think they mean you need to
know them, um off the top of your head. I
mean colonies like Florida, Ohio, Michigan, Wisconsin. We're missing them.
That's what happened to Hilary. She didn't get the original colonies.
I think we'll have to go back to the board
with all of this. Well anyway, um, yes, back to
(02:35):
your original question, Caroline, I have not been out in public.
I'm on day two of my quarantine and as you
can see over the zoom, we're broadcasting on I'm at
my house in Florida, just finished up a little spring
break with the Governor round de Santis. Good dude, good dude.
We call ourselves the two Rounds, and we wear matching sunglasses.
(02:58):
It's very cool. You just started Andine listened that guy.
Don't worry. I'm taking two hydroxy cuts um as a preventative.
I think that's that's a diet pell that's something. Girls,
I've never looked better. I've lost pounds. Oh my god,
I see it in my face. You do look gone.
I got rid of my jewels. I don't know. You
(03:20):
look tired. Yeah, I pop a couple of those, and
me and Governor Ronnie the two Rounds. We we head
out on the town. But yeah, two days in, I've
been quarantine for five days? How you do? I am
so bored right now. This whole thing is a real
pain in the key stir, isn't it? I would say
(03:41):
that's a major understatement. I mean, quarantine probably doesn't change
much about your life, Carolina. I mean, let's let's be honest.
How many how many episodes of The Tiger Man Show
did you did you watch? In one sitting? While dropping
food on your shirt? Okay, because I can see the stains.
I think you mean Tiger King and I actually have
watched yet. I mean, I'm planning on it, but I've
(04:02):
mostly just been watching the news. It's hard to speaking
of the news. Yeah, I'd like to send a shout out,
a professional journalistic shout out to Fox News is Trish Reagan. Look, Trish,
if you're listening, and you probably are because you got fired,
I get it. I've said some really dumb stuff on
(04:22):
the air before, and I've been fired lots of times,
though nothing quite as dumb as what you said, Trish.
I mean, wow, and this is Ron Burgundy talking here. Yeah,
that's saying a lot, Trish. Hang in there, Trish Reagan,
see you at the auto show. You'll you'll get some
industrial somewhere. You'll bounce back from this and no time.
(04:43):
Trust me, it might take a second, but um yeah,
maybe you can open a big cat zoo. You can
take over Joke Exotics operation. There's an option and move
to Oklahoma. Did you know they're up to ten thousand
wild big cats in the United States and there's only
four thousand tigers in the wild. It's crazy, astonishing, it's
(05:07):
so upsetting. It just makes you how many tigers, how
many big cats do you have? I was just going
to say, it makes you realize what a wonderful market
there is for them, and what in a wonderful investment opportunity.
I don't think that's why they released that statistic. I
think that they were saying that we shouldn't keep these
animals in captivity and there should be more of them
in the wild. Yeah, I can see that, you're really
(05:29):
they were over see I saw it as a great
amendment to people's four oh one k plans. Oh I
did not see it that way. And that's what's great
about these documentaries. People can debate over what the point
of it was. But I'll tell you this much. I
(05:50):
put my money down on Kevin Bacon being cast. Is
Joe exotic? He would kill it? Are you kidding me?
I don't know. Talked to Trishery again. She knows anyway.
As I was saying when I started my story, saying
about people who come up to me right before the
(06:10):
quarantine obviously, and you mean like three days ago for you,
three days ago exactly. But I'm always happy to say
hello and and sign your autograph books and take a selfie.
But I gotta be honest, folks, I'm getting a little
tired of the questions about Carolina, stuff like who the
hell is she? And why is she on the show,
and did you win a contest or something. I mean,
(06:32):
I don't have the answers. And honestly, yes, are you
serious people are coming up to you on the street
about the podcast and saying those things about me. Okay, okay,
I'll come clean, I'll come queen. It was one guy, Okay,
there you go, but he was very passionate about his
dislike for you. Um. Also, you know what they say,
(06:52):
the voice of one audience member speaks for like sixty
million silent ones listening. First, I think those fake yours
are a little inflated. Um. And second, I wouldn't take
the word of one man as a reason to begin
our show today with basically an insulting apology for my
very existence. I mean that that man just sounds rude.
(07:14):
Would you take the word for repeating it? Would you
take the word of one man if that one man
was Jesus Christ. Oh, that's a weird question. Um. I'm
just saying I wouldn't even know how to begin to
answer that that's a sidebar for another day and another millennium.
But so you're saying the man was rude, that's your point. Okay,
(07:36):
I'll give that to you. And the guy actually was
very rude, openly rude. Yes. In fact, Caroline, you'll get
a kick out of this. He had a T shirt
on that said rude dude with a crude attitude. Let
me tell you, a man who wears a shirt like
that is broadcasting that he's not someone to mess with,
you know. Okay, So this whole introduction is based on
(07:57):
a man who was wearing a novel t T shirt.
I don't know. I don't get a kick out of
that shirt. I met him at an all night diner.
I was home, dead asleep, woke up and had a
sudden craving for Reuben sandwich and it was just ravenous
for a Reuben. You don't you know what I mean?
You ever get that? No, but you've called me about
those before. Anyway, I showered, shaved, got fully dressed into
(08:18):
a three piece suit, and then I drove as fast
as I could to the all night dinner. And it
was late, so I was probably clock and eighty five. Okay, Um,
I'm sorry. Hold on, you put on a suit to
go to a dinner in the middle of the night. Yeah,
I really wanted a Ruben sandwich. What You've never gotten
a craving for a Reuben in the middle of the
(08:39):
night and drove thirty miles to the best diner in
San Marcos, California. I have done that for you. Um
actually the night of the Oscar with my family, and
I've always appreciated. Yeah, what can I tell you? Learned
to live a little bit, Carolina? I mean, come on, seriously, Okay,
even if I wanted a Reuben sandwich that bad, you
(09:00):
put on a three piece suit. Just wear sweatpants or something.
That's the difference between you and me right there. I'd
actually like to see you not wear sweatpants once in
a while. I don't always wear sweatpants. You know. It's
funny they say that one of the symptoms of colonial
nineteen COVID night is that you lose taste, right, Caroline,
(09:26):
I think you. I think you haven't because I have
no taste. Okay, you've been shoving a DJ Max for
a long time, you really have. I'm like, well, Caroline
has had it for as long as I've known her
going on four years now. I were perfectly normal clothes. Look,
I'm a man of distinction, I really am. And I
can't just show up anywhere in sweatpants like you. You know,
(09:48):
maybe to the gym, but certainly not an all night
diner in San Marcos. What if someone recognized me, which
they did. This man came right up to me and
said Ron Burgundy. And I looked up and I saw
his T shirt, and I'll admit I was immediately very
intimidated because he had a shirt on that said rude,
rude dude with a crude attitude exactly. I mean, this
(10:11):
guy was just putting it all out there wearing that shirt.
So I said to him, look, buddy, I don't want
any trouble. And then I just tossed my wallet on
the table and I figured, let him take it. It's
not worth whatever is on the other side of what
his T shirt was broadcasting. You know, that's like an
old novel T shirt they used to sell a gift shops.
Right Well, I don't know where he got it. All
(10:32):
I know is that it was it was air brushed
and had an angry looking dog on it, and it
was very highly effective. It doesn't sound that scary to me.
It was the middle of the night woman. I was
just trying to enjoy a Reuben sandwich, not get murdered.
Calm down. I am calmed. Oh my god, particularly because
the situation quickly de escalated because it turned out it
(10:56):
wasn't a vagrant who wanted to take my money. He
was just a really big fan of mine. So a
special shout out today to Robbie B, a long haul
trucker and a big fan of the Ron Burgundy podcast.
Except for you. Yeah, I don't want to shout him out,
he said. When Carolina speaks, I actually honked the horn
on my rig and it still doesn't drown out her
terrible voice. That has to be an exaggeration because I
(11:18):
wrote it down. I'm reading it off the napkin that
I took from the diner. And if you could just
keep that in mind while we do today's show, Carolina,
I think Robbie B would appreciate it. And I also
think he speaks for a lot of our audience. Okay,
I'll I don't think that's very helpful, but thank you,
Robbie B. Constructive criticism, just trying to do the best
(11:38):
show weekend. Use your thirty miles in the middle of
the night to get a Reuben Sam and I made
a new friend in the process. My life is going great. Carolina. Hey,
let's take a break and we'll get into today's show
a topic I'm very excited to discuss with our audience, spirituality.
(12:09):
We are back on the Round Burgundy podcast with Carolina,
Who's going to do her very best to try and
talk a little less. I'm just going to do the
show as I normally. Today we're going to be discussing
something I'm very passionate about, spirituality. I have to say
I was a bit surprised and I was moved actually
that you wanted to dedicate an entire episode of spirituality
(12:33):
on here, Carolina. I am a deeply spiritual person. Does
that not come across to you? It's it's not the
first thing that jumps to mind when I think of you. Wow.
That well, that's interesting because I have been told I
radiate spirituality. I mean, I'm not I'm not comparing myself
to the Dalai Lama or anything, but I think a
(12:54):
lot of people would agree that we have a similar,
you know, vibe in coming. Who told you that you
have a similar vibe to the Dalai Wama. Well, for start,
is my main man, Ronnie B from the dinner the
other night. Okay, the same guy wearing the rude dude
with a crude attitude T shirt who you thought was
trying to steal your wallet. Yeah, well we we actually
(13:14):
got pretty deep in that dinner. Okay, Well, however we
got here. I think it's a great topic for the
show today. I really do good good and I think
we should make it clear. Today's show is about the
broad spectrum of spirituality, whatever that means to you. We're
not here to discuss religion. That's a great point. This
is a nondenominational conversation exactly. We're not going to be
(13:36):
talking about demons because they are they are scary, and
it's non demon national So we're saying two different things.
But I think the audience understands what we're getting at. Look,
I don't care if you're a Christian or Jewish or
Harri Krishna, as long as you you don't bother me
at an airport, believe in the faith of your choosing
the airport comment is a bit of a stereotype about
(13:59):
those devote a hard Christia. Do you think, Oh, well,
don't elaborate on that thought. Okay. I think what you're
trying to say is that we are focusing on the
concept of spirituality how people use it in their day
to day lives, and there's no particular religion or higher
power that we're endorsing or advocating for. It's just a
discussion about faith and how it plays a role in
(14:21):
our lives. Exactly, spirituality. We are going to talk about
it because I don't care if you're the richest man
in the world or a woman who comes to work
and sweatpants every day, like Carolina. We're all basically looking
for the same thing to live our best lives. So Carolina,
what does spirituality mean to you? Okay? I think you
(14:43):
can find spirituality anywhere. It's sort of a calm we
find within ourselves, and it might involve a higher power.
It could just be the idea of acceptance and letting
go of resentment. You might find your spirituality in a church,
or you might find it in a flower. M I
mean that's where you've lost me. Spiritu reality in a flower. No, No,
that's nonsense. There is only one true path to enlightenment,
(15:06):
and that is through a book I recently read called Dianetics.
I'm sorry what diane Netics? Great book by Little Ronnie Hubbard.
L Ron Hubbard L is short for a little and
look I have a copy right here. It's got a
cool volcano on the cover. This is a very sensitive
subject you're getting into here, and I just let's tread lightly.
(15:29):
We're just talking about spirituality, Carolina. There's there's no right
or wrong way to talk about it. It's just I've
been doing a lot of reading recently and taking some
very interesting courses, and I thought I would use this
platform and discuss some interesting stuff I've learned. Did Ron
did you say you were taking courses? Yes? Yes, and
(15:49):
they're worth every penny. I'll tell you some of them
are not cheap, but I'm I'm getting a lot out
of it, and you should come with me. Sometimes they
have this this really cool thing at my rich where
you where you hold two metal rounds. Okay, I think
I know what you're talking about, and I want to
speak for myself, and I think on behalf of my
Heart Radio that we are just having a general conversation
(16:10):
about spirituality anything I or Ron says is a matter
of opinion in not facts. Carolina, you seem really nervous
all of a sudden. What is it with you? Why
does the subject of spirituality make you so nervous? Okay, Ron, again,
this is just an opinion. But I think the recent
path to spirituality you're on at the moment, you just
(16:30):
might want to do a little more Internet research. Oh no, no, no, no,
they specifically told me not to do that. Besides, Carolina,
you know the Internet is filled with all all kinds
of lies and fake news. Please don't invoke that phrase seriously, though.
I could put up a website right now that says
Carolina has ten boyfriends and there are actually some people
(16:52):
who might be dumb enough to believe it, could you imagine? No,
you have to be very very careful on the internet.
You also you also have to be very careful around spirituality.
And there's there's a lot of people out there selling
a bunch of mumbo jumbo and the next thing you know,
you're in some weird cult. Yes, yes, exactly, that is
(17:13):
true and a very good point, Roan. You should be
careful with spirituality. I'm talking specifically you. I'm looking at
you right now, and I'm looking at you too. Those
Spirituality is a good thing in people's lives. There's occasionally
some folks who might be a little lost. Yeah, maybe
they've recently gone through a breakup with an international pop star.
(17:37):
Perhaps there are a celebrity or someone kind of lost
in vulnerable, very vulnerable group. Yes again, I'm speaking in
general about spirituality, not about any particular church or group.
And that's sort of what I was trying to get to.
And I said, you could find spirituality and a flower,
which you definitely can't do. But I have found a
terrific path. I'm I'm currently O T three feeling terrific um.
(18:01):
So the letters O and T could stand for anything.
Just putting that out there on behalf of myself run
in the legal department of my heart radio. Thank you. Wow, Carolina,
you are very tense. I think what you are experiencing
right now is a lot of ingrams in your body.
Is there a mental image or a traumatic event from
your past you would like to tell me about right
(18:23):
now in detail. I'd like to discuss it with you
over and over again for several hours, and trust me,
it can help a lot. I don't think that's a
good idea of run really well, another good spiritual activity
is to do a purification rundown and I can probably
set that up for you if you'd like. I'm not
sure I know what a purification rundown is, and I'm
(18:44):
not sure. We need to discuss that sp SP coming
down the pike? True? What's an sp? Get all about
the your suppressive person. I'm here the words of a
suppressive person. Okay, I mean you have to know your
body is filled with toxins and radioactive particles and the
purification run. Okay, run, we are I think we should
(19:09):
just take a commercial break. But we're just getting into
the nitty gritty of spirituality. Hold on, let's just um.
I want you do you see those two little metal
sticks there? Can you grab ahold of that? I want
to see what your eye meter reading is? Can you
just grab those? Just just try it? Just grab Okay?
(19:29):
What does the meter say? Uh? Two? Three? Oh? Golly?
SP If I've ever seen one? I don't, I mean,
this seems so arbitrary. Well, it won't be arbitrary when
you sign a contract for a billion years. Oh, I
don't think I would never do that. Ron, did you
(19:49):
sign something I may have, Ron, this is, I may
have signed it for how long? I just signed this?
It's a standard contract. I don't know how standard that is.
You are a passenger on a spaceship, and that spaceship
is called Earth, except it's called so you might as
(20:13):
well sign the contract for a billion years. I don't
want I don't want to. I don't even understand what
this is. Is there a man in the room with
you right now wearing a light blue shirt and dark
pants with great little amulets on his shoulders. Oh no,
Todd Craig, another bearded man named Stacy. Are they there yet?
(20:34):
Are they coming to my coming to bring you the paperwork? Ron,
whoever you're involved with, I would just say, cut great people,
change your number. Please just can you just sign the paperwork?
And just you're making this so much more awkward and
we'll just begin very simple, this purification rundown and it's
(20:55):
so not a big deal. The Ron Burgundy podcast will
be back after this prerecorded message off his Mike place. Hello,
and welcome back to the Run Burgundy podcast. And yes
(21:17):
we we took a long break. It it wasn't long
for you, the listener, but it was it was long
here in the studio, Carolina boy, thank you for sharing
with me some some reading materials. I have come out
a little more educated than I was at the start
of the show. However, I don't know how to get
(21:40):
out of this billion year contract I signed. I I
don't know what you're gonna do about it. I'm gonna
be honest with you. That's terrifying. I mean, I can
only hope that in some way it's not binding. Yeah,
I mean I think you just got a lay a
lot a while. Okay, so I can do that. That's right.
Now quarantine comes into Effectum, great, great, Yes, duly noted. Yeah.
(22:09):
And also to Ronnie b if you're listening to the
guy met in the diner in San Marcos, California, you
can shut up about Carolina. I'm not sure about the
volcano book you gave me. Oh man, now I'm I'm
feeling stressed out. Oh you know what, I actually have
something that can help you with that. I like to
use these essential oils here. You can just dab a
(22:30):
little bit behind your ears. Essential oils. Carolina, you idiot,
You're involved with a classic pyramid scheme. Oils. Wow, the
oldest trick in the book What's Next, You're gonna sell
me some headache tonic, because I have all that I
need in my house and it's called Scotch. I am
not involved with the pyramid scheme anyway. To sum up spirituality,
(22:54):
it's a part of our lives. You can find it anywhere, yes,
even in a flat hour. But just be careful with
that stuff and don't, whatever you do, under any circumstance,
sell your soul to the devil. I have a couple
of buddies who did that, and it's a real hassle.
(23:15):
Thanks for listening, Ron Burgundy Podcast. Until next time, Watch Out.
The Ron Burgundy Podcast is a production of I Heart Radio.
I'm Ron Burgundy. The host, writer and executive producer. Carolina
Barlow is my co host, writer and producer. Our producer
(23:38):
is Nick Stop. Our talent coordinator is Anna Hosnyan writers
are Andrew Steele and Jake Boboss. This episode was engineered, mixed,
and edited by Nick Stop. Until next Time, This is
Ron Burgundy.
Host
Will Ferrell
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