March 12, 2020 • 30 mins
Ron hangs out with the FBI.
Credits:
Host, Writer, and Executive Producer: Ron Burgundy
Co-host, Writer and Producer: Carolina Barlow
Producer: Nick Stumpf
Talent Producer: Anna Hossnieh
Writers: Andrew Steele and Jake Fogelnest
Engineered, Mixed and Edited by Nick Stumpf
Special guest: Joe Navarro
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Non Burgund Ron Bergin talking and say anything rong back
and he's not playing any game. Yes it's me Ron Burgundy.
Thank you for joining me for another episode of the
(00:20):
Ron Burgundy Podcast. Carolina, are you here? I'm right, I'm
right next to you. I've been here for like five minutes.
Have you not even noticed me? What's going on? Well?
I pulled my neck and pulled my neck out, so
I can only look forward literally and spiritually. I am
(00:41):
only looking forward from now on, and I'm not going
to move until the muscle relaxant has kicked in and
the pain has completely gone away. So you're going to
have to tell me your facial expressions so I know
how you're feeling. Do you do you understand? Are you?
Are you nodding right now? Nodding? Yes? Understand? What kind
of muscle relaxing did you take? You know? It's a
(01:03):
little bottle of muscle relaxans I've had for a while.
The name is is actually rubbed off from the bottle.
My mom passed the bottle down to me years ago
when I was a little boy, and she said, take
this if your neck hurts. I also have a bottle
of aged codeine syrup. It's about seven years old. Do
(01:24):
you want something? It's in that the brown bag in
my purse. You know, you know what I mean? Yeah,
I'll take some. Wait's what kind of muscle relaxing did
you take? It doesn't have a full name on it.
It's it's only only has one syllable. It's it's a
it's a finished name. It was a drug that was
(01:46):
banned from Finland in the fifties after the Prince of
Finland took it. What happened to him? Well, he, uh,
he has a bad back. He takes a then some
people in his pal us take it. It gets around,
you know, then rumor has it, all of the servants
in his palace turned into pieces of furniture, candlesticks and footstools. Wait,
(02:12):
did he turn into a beast? Who told you that?
I think it's from Beauty and the Beast. I think
you're What you're saying is that the prince and the
beauty and the beast in his entire castle had a
bad reaction to a muscle reaccent. So people know about that. Yeah,
it's actually a children's story. Are you frowning? You think
I shouldn't have taken it? No, I'm smiling. I'm glad
(02:35):
you're okay, and I hope you feel better. I can
tell you're rolling your eyes. I'm not. On today's episode,
we're talking about the rule of law, those who vow
to serve and protect, and who better to talk to
than a dog who has saved twelve lives. That's right, Freda,
the world famous rescue dog, is in the studio. Okay,
(02:56):
I wait, I didn't get Frieda. I can't. I can't
see you, so I can't tell if you're joking. Are
you joking? Run? She's busy, So Frieda is busy. This
is just for the people at home. This is a
real dog. Frieda a beautiful blonde lab. I encourage everyone
to look her up. She has spent her life helping
to rescue survivors from natural disasters around the world. She's
(03:17):
maybe the most real in the World's a hero, and
she's worked since she was a puppy. She's ten years old.
Now she's saved twelve I know that. Why Why do
you think I wanted to book her? Yeah? But what
was she going to say, roun? What was she gonna
tell us she's a dog? You did this despite me?
You can hear it in your voice. You're upset. I
(03:37):
don't know why, but you are. No, I'm still smiling anyway.
I booked a human who can speak a former FBI agent.
Former FBI agent. So, an FBI agent who got fired
by someone more important. Did Freda the rescue dog fire him? No,
he's happily retired. He was actually in the bureau for
like twenty five years. Hey, no, do not take another
(03:59):
muscle ride that Ron. Please don't handle that Ron. That's
not yours. Oh my god, the floor. Okay, it's fine,
I know how many there are. No, I didn't you trust.
I didn't mean to. Yeah, is there a coffee stir?
I can snort that? That's really ill it? No, No,
(04:23):
that's what I'll dorading in my guns. That one I saved.
All right, all right, why did you do? Hey? Ow
ow ow I mean that owl. I broke the skin.
I probably broke the skin. We'll be right back with
an FBI agent Christ. Welcome back to the Ron Burgundy Podcast.
(04:58):
I'm Ron Burgundy, and I Heart Radio technically has me
on medical leave. I just want to say that upfront. Um.
Today we are joined by a former FBI agent Joe Navarro. Joe,
how are you. I'm good, Ron, good to be here.
This is Carolina. Nice to meet you. I'm good, Joe.
(05:23):
How how long were you with the FBI the bureau
as they say, twenty five years? Twenty five years? Was
it always a dream of yours? Um? It was the
only job offer I had. It was not a bad no, no, no,
it wasn't a dream. I was very fortunate to have
been at tendered an offered to to join the bureau.
(05:47):
And did you did you work all over the country
or were you based specifically in one one region? Um?
I was all over. I was in Arizona, New York. Uh, Keepsie, No, no, no,
do you know some No, I just like to say pokeepsie. Um, Joe,
(06:07):
let me ask you this. In in the field, did
you ever get a chance to work with any dogs
and if so, what were they like to work with? Well?
As a matter of fact, I did, Um. Some of
them protected us from you know, bomb sniffing dogs, and
some had a tendency to just use us in the
(06:29):
absence of fire hydrants. But yes, I know what that means, Joe.
Any lazy dogs, any dogs, we just weren't. We are
sharing a laugh. Well, I do, I do. I do
remember one that was supposed to be a bomb sniffing dog.
(06:51):
But honestly, I thought it was high most of the
time because his his work ethic um needs to be questioned.
But but he was. But he was arched to be desired. Yes,
he was an older dog and there wasn't a foreign posting.
So yeah, when you retire an FBI dog, I'm sure
(07:12):
you have to give him a fake name and set
him up in housing, give him a fake identity, things
like that so they don't squeal. Right. I've never been
to the witness production program for dogs. Yeah, I haven't
been to the dog farewell, but I know they're well
taken care of. That's uh, that's moment we get it, okay,
(07:33):
wink wink uh. Joe, let me ask you this. Were
you always against crime and are you still against crime
or now that you've retired, to you a little more
pro crime? I have to say I've always been against crime. Yeah, good,
thank you. I'm glad you answered it that way. Yeah, no,
(07:54):
no issue there, good, no issue there. What do you
think of that? Blowhard? James co me M glad we
got that bumb out of there. Geez Louise, what mocking
up the works? Right, Jim Bocomy grabbing the headlines. I
shouldn't be laughing, but you know I I knew him
(08:14):
when when he was the U S attorney in the No,
not in Pockkeepsie, he wasn't. He was in Virginia, I believe.
And um, he had a very good reputation then, but
never really associated with him. So I got you. Um,
this is random, Joe, because we were talking about Frieda.
(08:37):
Carolina was bringing up this dog Frieda who rescues people?
Were you fired from the FBI? Did in fact no
dog fire? You know? I somehow managed to survive the
twenty five years? Yeah? Great? Yeah, And and so you're
a former FBI agent because you just you had done
(08:58):
your time and you retired game sick of the game.
Well it was time. I guess. You can only do
it for so long before you get burnt out. Right
while you start to slow down. You can't run as fast,
you can't jump as high, and fast twitch muscle fibers
go once they go forget it. Yeah yeah, you me
and Lebron right. Yeah, although I was in a group.
(09:23):
Yeah group, it's Joe, You and Lebron. That's our mini
rat pack. You know, there's a there's a time for everything,
and there was a time to move on and years
is enough. No years, I mean you you you should
be proud of that service. I've never, god, have I
ever committed to anything for twenty five years. That's a
(09:45):
really good question. Well, of course, the faithful reporting of
the news, that's one thing. And there were those two
years you said you were going off the grid. I've
collected rare Saki's for twenty five years, so my socke collection,
that's something I can feel proud about. So, Joe, I
(10:10):
am a in Carolina. I think I can speak on
your behalf. Two. We are true crime junkies and uh
and we we would love to if you're up for it,
take your you get your professional opinion on on some
famous interrogations. And you've probably studied these when you're at
the academy. But um so maybe it might be redundant,
(10:31):
but if you wouldn't mind looking over some of these
clips with us, Okay, great, Yeah, that's okay, And we're
gonna play this first one. Um, this is an interrogation.
This is something Ron pulled up. It's one of his
favorite programs, but he says because of the accuracy, it's
a powerful interrogation from the show. Colombo telling me where
(10:55):
you were last night Sunday night at the movies alone? No,
with Irving? And where did you go after the movie?
Back to Herb's place? Did you have your Yes? But
on weekends I usually like to sleep over at Herb's.
At what time did you get back to my part?
(11:17):
About ten thirty? And then what you do? We watched
TV and what did you do with if you watch TV?
We made love? Okay, then we went to sleep and
neither you left the apartment between eleven thirty and three am. No,
(11:37):
I told you first we watched TV and then we
made love. And Mr Crutch never left the apartment. If
you were asleep, I would you know, left the apartment
or not? Well, we didn't actually go to sleep till
maybe about two thirty. These things take time, now, and
(12:03):
that's the crunch. Never left the upon No, the letable
room now? Oh well, once to get me fresh orange juice.
Very suggestive. She keeps talking about making love. It's a
little explicit, little crass and and those of you guys
are listening at home, can't see the clip. But she
(12:25):
is beautiful. Oh my god. I don't know if that helps.
She is gorgeous, Joe, I'm sure you had. Did you
have to hear language like this at work? M hmm yeah,
but not from the suspects? Um, did that suspect talk
way too much? Well? You know what was interesting is
the methodology. You know, you have to account for all
(12:48):
the behavior and all the time. So m. Colombo was impeccable. There.
Colombo's very thorough. You want to get that time that
time frame down. But did you notice the guy never
said a word. Yeah, she's there with her boyfriend. He's
not saying a word. But that's women for you. Talk
talk talk talk zip it up, but not now, no,
(13:12):
not not then back then Yeah, now, women can talk
all you want. Yeah. Thanks. Um. I've heard that there's
a technique that a lot of cops use where they
just repeat a lot of questions to try to catch
if your story, to see how consistent your story? Would
you use that, Joe, I would use a form of that.
(13:36):
I would uh, you know, I just dig down deeper.
I just say could I have more details? So if
they said yeah, if they say I entered the house,
I want to know, well, which door was it and
was the light on or not? Right? Yeah, well let's
take a look and see. But I like that clip.
(13:58):
Oh well we have, we've We've got a couple more.
This next one is from the show Chicago p D.
Y and uh, I know most guys in the forest
must love coming home relaxing after work and watching Chicago
p D. It must be so relaxing to go watch
a show and where you're fighting the same bad guys
and you you're having the same love triangles. Yeah, that's true,
(14:20):
you guys are Is there a favorite show in the
fields besides Chicago p D? Well, I mean, now, the
big one is mind Hunter. Oh yes, I've read the
book and watched the show. Very big fan. Yeah, very popular.
I get more questions about that, like how how close
(14:43):
to the real thing isn't But but the second most
questions you get is from Chicago p D. Though, right,
uh Ron no, uh okay, No, that's good for me too.
It's good for me too because I've been telling people
that mo FBI former FBI guys love and talk about
(15:03):
and get questions about Chicago p D. There's also Chicago Fire.
There's Chicago, Chicago mad There's Chicago Daycare. There's Chicago Travel Agency.
There's Chicago Airport, which they should just called O'Hare what
they should call it, called Chicago Airport. But the list
(15:23):
goes on and on. It's it's NBC's lineup, and they're
doing a great job. They're knocking it out of the park. Okay,
let's play this from Chicago. P d oh wan, lawyer, lawyer,
He wants a lawyer. H get him a lawyer. This
is illegal that he needs a lawyer right now. Oh
(15:46):
my god, if you one chance to tell me where
the Brasils gets on? Oh my god, I'm scared of him.
And give me the past words. Saw you twisted websites? Yeah?
What's in it from me? Yeah? What's good? Okay? Reasonable?
(16:08):
He also would like a lawyer. Yeah, your ability to live?
Oh my god, excuse me? You heard him? Well, as
they say in Poughkeepsie, whoa yeah, yeah, whoa right? Joe? Okay,
so Joe is that cops voice? What what you guys
(16:31):
are supposed to sound like? Only if you smoke four
packs a day? Only if you smoke four packs a day.
He might just be sexy. He might just be inherently sexy. Well,
that's that's true too, But Ron I, I gotta go
with you. When when he said I want my attorney,
that's it. You gotta walk out of that room. Joe.
(16:52):
Can you give me your sexiest gravellist voice right now
as if you were on Chicago p D? Yeah? Ron,
where were you last night? Yeah? Can you give me
a little more gravel D? I need to know. I
need to know what we're worried last night? Were you?
(17:13):
Because you're not leaving this room until you tell me. God, Joe,
that is good. Good, that's really good. Watch out Chicago
p D. Joe Navarro, p D. Jetskmi. I'm James Komi
and I'm seven ft doll. Punch you in the nuts.
(17:33):
You don't give me the info? Is that a direct quote? No,
I'm just riffing as jos and what I think James
would say. Do I still do? I still have to gravel? Oh? No, No,
you're good, You're good, Joe. I mean, unless you want
to know. I don't want to sound like what's his
name on the Simpsons? So, Joe, are you married? Can
I ask? I am? Indeed? Because you might want to
(17:55):
try that voice out in the bedroom tonight. That was free.
That was free. Okay, let's go to another Chicago p D.
Is it right, Caroline, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah it
is um Okay, it's just a knock on the door
(18:16):
the girls apartment. Girls that she opens the door. What
are you doing here? This doesn't seem like an interrogation scene.
He brought her back up. That's where it went. I
bumped into your desk and and accidentally fell in my pocket.
I know you didn't parking that I didn't have time.
You didn't. You took it so you could come and
(18:38):
show up at her apartment. Come on, I didn't just
fall off the apple truck. I like this writing though
a guy has ever used to try to get into
my apartment, I was expecting it. Thank you. You know
that actor actually dated Lady Gaga. Fun fact, you're missing
(18:59):
the best part kissing smooth your rooney kissing? Now? Is
this what you're watching here, Joe? Pretty common in the
FBI world amongst colleagues. Only only with our spouses. That
is not common. That's by the way. Did you did
you notice her body her body language? Immediately you had
that head tilt, and of course head tilt means uh
(19:24):
kind of. I'm I'm interested. I'm curious. I'm curious, I'm interested. Yeah,
we only know what Joe. We forgot that you. You
are a expert on body language? Is that is that true? Yes? Yeah,
I've been studying it for about forty years. How does
(19:44):
that affect your marriage? Do you? Sometimes you say I
can tell you're full of it to your wife. Well,
head tilt, honey, arms, arms folded, I can tell you're
a set. Yeah. The the your lips are compressed and
the glabella, the little area between your eyes is furrowed.
(20:07):
So keep it clean, keep it clean. Sorry, and uh,
so I know you're stressed, and she'll say knock it off,
and uh and I will pliantly abide. Um. But you know,
it's it's funny. You have to sometimes you have to
turn it off at home because when you can see everything,
(20:28):
it can be annoying. So you just have to pretend
you're just seeing somebody stressed. You have to turn that
part of your brain off. Yeah, I understand that. Yeah, Caroline,
you had to go to your oh B to have
your gloat checked out. Yeah, well wait, wait, what about
(20:49):
your fil trum tum? Is that um? What connects your
teeth to your mouth because your gum. No, it's a
little area just below the nose that and and connects
to your upper lip pilum. That's called the fill trumen.
(21:12):
That's also an erogenous zone, isn't it. Well, it could be.
But what's interesting is during interviews when people are stressed,
how this little area sort of fills up with moisture. Okay,
so and you can tell that during interrogations that helps you.
It's yeah, it just tells you, well, whatever the questions
(21:32):
I'm asking, they're stressed. So the question is why it So,
if you were into crime, it pay to have all
the sweat pores removed from your fildrum. Yeah, or ever
be caught. Yeah, and interrogation or botoxed. Botox gets rid
of the the ability to sweat from there. Yeah. Smart
(21:56):
poker players do it. Poker players get botox in their filter.
They get botox and a lot of places because they
give so much away with their faces called a tell
A tell, Yeah, yeah, yeah, Should I go back to
that voice? Well please? The health Yeah, my filterm, my
(22:18):
filter is sopping with What was the first body part
you mentioned, Joe, the globella that was the first part.
Beautiful name for a girl. Um, so, Joe, tell me
about Quantico. And for for our listeners who don't know
what Quantico is, what can you explain that? Yeah, Quantico
(22:39):
is the the the famous Marine Corps base and they
allowed us to on their property to build the FBI
Academy and uh and that's where all agents go. I
will tell you this, and most people don't realize this.
At Quantico, the dormitory doors never had a lock. And
that's because the people were so honest that, um, you
(23:04):
didn't need locks. And I have to say, I've never
been in an institution where you didn't have to lock
your door. Did anyone while you were there? To get
kicked out of? Quantico isn't easy place to get kicked
out of. Uh, very much, so very much drinking a
beer or staying out too late. No, it was it
(23:25):
was usually either because of physical fitness or they didn't
do well in the academics. Oh, because you're basically you're
the dummies and the fatties they get the boot. Well,
I wouldn't put it that way. It's I mean, we
had we had some people that just could not for instance,
(23:48):
the trigger test. They couldn't do the trigger poll test.
What's the trigger pol test? It's, uh, you know, how
much strength do you have in that that index finger
to pull the trigger? Uh, consistently as though you were
in a firefight. And some people, believe it or not,
could not pass that test, Caroline. I'm gonna put you
(24:11):
through the trigger poll test every morning and if you
don't pass it, what are you serious? We'll just have
to find someone else. God. Yeah, Ron, it has to
be job related. I think it has to be job related. Okay,
all right, good to know. And what did you guys
(24:32):
do for fun at Quantico? Uh? Was there a lot
to be had? Not? Really? It was you know, any pranks? Oh? Yes,
can I lots of pranks? Can I? Can I tell
you one? Please? Please? Okay, Joe we go. So one
(24:58):
of the one of the one of the classes could
be this is gonna be right out of a script
of Chicago p D. I already feel it. Yeah. One
of the class counselors was he was a little bit
too uptight, so um so that everybody we had taken
a class on crime scene. So we staged that that
somebody had jumped from the sixth story building and we
(25:21):
called the class counselor over and said, look, look what
just happened. And um, I didn't partake him this, I
only heard about it. But apparently as a result of
looking down the window and seeing what he thought was
a somebody that had jumped the class counsel well, he
(25:42):
developed a nervous tick in his face that three years
later was apparently still there. So, oh, you guys, you
that this stunt, it looked, triggered a debilitating tick that
will haunt him for the rest of his days. But
(26:05):
now we call that. Now, we call that PTSD. So
they framed yea yea very serious. Yeah, good stuff that was.
That was in the seventies. Those things took place in
the seventies. No, totally, yeah, no. So what is this
last clip that you pulled up? This is a this
is a clip We're gonna really it's important to you.
(26:28):
Here's a clip that I want you to watch. Jim Crocey.
It's just Jim crowbarator. I'm gonna be honest. The muscle
(26:49):
relaxing has fully kicked in. And I love this song. Anyway.
Do I need to keep asking you questions? You don't
care about that, right, I mean Joe, think about it.
I've been interrogating you. You're probably like, all right, man,
lay off, let's just all hang out. Yeah. Yeah, we're
(27:12):
all friends and we should just be hanging out. I
love it when we all get to get it like this,
and no, is there going to be a question, Joe,
Joe quiet, I've learned to take it well, just not
(27:40):
the way you rock roun. All right, Ron passed out. Nick,
Let's just cut to the commercial. Let's cut commercial, and
we're back with the Ron Burgundy Podcast. I have never
been more awake, Ron, I'm not kidding. You were a
(28:02):
stille three hours. Everyone else has had like a whole
day here. I ran to Errand's. Nick picked up his
kids from school. Our intern renewed their passport really while
I was here at work. Wow, welcome to the millennial workforce,
ladies and gentlemen. They're really great employees. Is the FBI
(28:25):
guys still here, by the way, Joe, No, he left
right when you start playing Jim Crocey and then you
asked him to hang out, got it? You know, I
love Jim, but I've had a few people turn away
when I put that record on. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah.
It makes people feel things up already, right, It gets vulnerable, emotional. Well,
(28:49):
this was an episode where we laid down the law
and I hope everyone at home feels a little safer
after hearing what our community of law enforcement. Carolina, are
you still here? I can't look around, so you need to.
You need to walk me home. You can't leave, Okay,
do not sneak out. I wouldn't do that. I'm just
(29:11):
going to stand up now and please help me walk
out and wrap my scarf around me. Okay, sunglasses, sunglasses, hat, hat,
purse first. Good night, folks. I'll catch you next time
on The Ron Burgundy Podcast. Don't fix my hand? Okay, okay.
(29:42):
The Ron Burgundy Podcast is a production of I Heart Radio.
I'm Ron Burgundy. The host, writer and executive producer Carolina
Barlow is my co host, writer and producer. Our producer
is Nick Stump. Our talent coordinator is Anna Hosny. Writers
are Andrew Steele and Jake Vobleist. This episode was engineered, mixed,
(30:04):
and edited by Nick step m
Non Burgund Ron Bergin talking and say anything rong back
and he's not playing any game. Yes it's me Ron Burgundy.
Thank you for joining me for another episode of the
(00:20):
Ron Burgundy Podcast. Carolina, are you here? I'm right, I'm
right next to you. I've been here for like five minutes.
Have you not even noticed me? What's going on? Well?
I pulled my neck and pulled my neck out, so
I can only look forward literally and spiritually. I am
(00:41):
only looking forward from now on, and I'm not going
to move until the muscle relaxant has kicked in and
the pain has completely gone away. So you're going to
have to tell me your facial expressions so I know
how you're feeling. Do you do you understand? Are you?
Are you nodding right now? Nodding? Yes? Understand? What kind
of muscle relaxing did you take? You know? It's a
(01:03):
little bottle of muscle relaxans I've had for a while.
The name is is actually rubbed off from the bottle.
My mom passed the bottle down to me years ago
when I was a little boy, and she said, take
this if your neck hurts. I also have a bottle
of aged codeine syrup. It's about seven years old. Do
(01:24):
you want something? It's in that the brown bag in
my purse. You know, you know what I mean? Yeah,
I'll take some. Wait's what kind of muscle relaxing did
you take? It doesn't have a full name on it.
It's it's only only has one syllable. It's it's a
it's a finished name. It was a drug that was
(01:46):
banned from Finland in the fifties after the Prince of
Finland took it. What happened to him? Well, he, uh,
he has a bad back. He takes a then some
people in his pal us take it. It gets around,
you know, then rumor has it, all of the servants
in his palace turned into pieces of furniture, candlesticks and footstools. Wait,
(02:12):
did he turn into a beast? Who told you that?
I think it's from Beauty and the Beast. I think
you're What you're saying is that the prince and the
beauty and the beast in his entire castle had a
bad reaction to a muscle reaccent. So people know about that. Yeah,
it's actually a children's story. Are you frowning? You think
I shouldn't have taken it? No, I'm smiling. I'm glad
(02:35):
you're okay, and I hope you feel better. I can
tell you're rolling your eyes. I'm not. On today's episode,
we're talking about the rule of law, those who vow
to serve and protect, and who better to talk to
than a dog who has saved twelve lives. That's right, Freda,
the world famous rescue dog, is in the studio. Okay,
(02:56):
I wait, I didn't get Frieda. I can't. I can't
see you, so I can't tell if you're joking. Are
you joking? Run? She's busy, So Frieda is busy. This
is just for the people at home. This is a
real dog. Frieda a beautiful blonde lab. I encourage everyone
to look her up. She has spent her life helping
to rescue survivors from natural disasters around the world. She's
(03:17):
maybe the most real in the World's a hero, and
she's worked since she was a puppy. She's ten years old.
Now she's saved twelve I know that. Why Why do
you think I wanted to book her? Yeah? But what
was she going to say, roun? What was she gonna
tell us she's a dog? You did this despite me?
You can hear it in your voice. You're upset. I
(03:37):
don't know why, but you are. No, I'm still smiling anyway.
I booked a human who can speak a former FBI agent.
Former FBI agent. So, an FBI agent who got fired
by someone more important. Did Freda the rescue dog fire him? No,
he's happily retired. He was actually in the bureau for
like twenty five years. Hey, no, do not take another
(03:59):
muscle ride that Ron. Please don't handle that Ron. That's
not yours. Oh my god, the floor. Okay, it's fine,
I know how many there are. No, I didn't you trust.
I didn't mean to. Yeah, is there a coffee stir?
I can snort that? That's really ill it? No, No,
(04:23):
that's what I'll dorading in my guns. That one I saved.
All right, all right, why did you do? Hey? Ow
ow ow I mean that owl. I broke the skin.
I probably broke the skin. We'll be right back with
an FBI agent Christ. Welcome back to the Ron Burgundy Podcast.
(04:58):
I'm Ron Burgundy, and I Heart Radio technically has me
on medical leave. I just want to say that upfront. Um.
Today we are joined by a former FBI agent Joe Navarro. Joe,
how are you. I'm good, Ron, good to be here.
This is Carolina. Nice to meet you. I'm good, Joe.
(05:23):
How how long were you with the FBI the bureau
as they say, twenty five years? Twenty five years? Was
it always a dream of yours? Um? It was the
only job offer I had. It was not a bad no, no, no,
it wasn't a dream. I was very fortunate to have
been at tendered an offered to to join the bureau.
(05:47):
And did you did you work all over the country
or were you based specifically in one one region? Um?
I was all over. I was in Arizona, New York. Uh, Keepsie, No, no, no,
do you know some No, I just like to say pokeepsie. Um, Joe,
(06:07):
let me ask you this. In in the field, did
you ever get a chance to work with any dogs
and if so, what were they like to work with? Well?
As a matter of fact, I did, Um. Some of
them protected us from you know, bomb sniffing dogs, and
some had a tendency to just use us in the
(06:29):
absence of fire hydrants. But yes, I know what that means, Joe.
Any lazy dogs, any dogs, we just weren't. We are
sharing a laugh. Well, I do, I do. I do
remember one that was supposed to be a bomb sniffing dog.
(06:51):
But honestly, I thought it was high most of the
time because his his work ethic um needs to be questioned.
But but he was. But he was arched to be desired. Yes,
he was an older dog and there wasn't a foreign posting.
So yeah, when you retire an FBI dog, I'm sure
(07:12):
you have to give him a fake name and set
him up in housing, give him a fake identity, things
like that so they don't squeal. Right. I've never been
to the witness production program for dogs. Yeah, I haven't
been to the dog farewell, but I know they're well
taken care of. That's uh, that's moment we get it, okay,
(07:33):
wink wink uh. Joe, let me ask you this. Were
you always against crime and are you still against crime
or now that you've retired, to you a little more
pro crime? I have to say I've always been against crime. Yeah, good,
thank you. I'm glad you answered it that way. Yeah, no,
(07:54):
no issue there, good, no issue there. What do you
think of that? Blowhard? James co me M glad we
got that bumb out of there. Geez Louise, what mocking
up the works? Right, Jim Bocomy grabbing the headlines. I
shouldn't be laughing, but you know I I knew him
(08:14):
when when he was the U S attorney in the No,
not in Pockkeepsie, he wasn't. He was in Virginia, I believe.
And um, he had a very good reputation then, but
never really associated with him. So I got you. Um,
this is random, Joe, because we were talking about Frieda.
(08:37):
Carolina was bringing up this dog Frieda who rescues people?
Were you fired from the FBI? Did in fact no
dog fire? You know? I somehow managed to survive the
twenty five years? Yeah? Great? Yeah, And and so you're
a former FBI agent because you just you had done
(08:58):
your time and you retired game sick of the game.
Well it was time. I guess. You can only do
it for so long before you get burnt out. Right
while you start to slow down. You can't run as fast,
you can't jump as high, and fast twitch muscle fibers
go once they go forget it. Yeah yeah, you me
and Lebron right. Yeah, although I was in a group.
(09:23):
Yeah group, it's Joe, You and Lebron. That's our mini
rat pack. You know, there's a there's a time for everything,
and there was a time to move on and years
is enough. No years, I mean you you you should
be proud of that service. I've never, god, have I
ever committed to anything for twenty five years. That's a
(09:45):
really good question. Well, of course, the faithful reporting of
the news, that's one thing. And there were those two
years you said you were going off the grid. I've
collected rare Saki's for twenty five years, so my socke collection,
that's something I can feel proud about. So, Joe, I
(10:10):
am a in Carolina. I think I can speak on
your behalf. Two. We are true crime junkies and uh
and we we would love to if you're up for it,
take your you get your professional opinion on on some
famous interrogations. And you've probably studied these when you're at
the academy. But um so maybe it might be redundant,
(10:31):
but if you wouldn't mind looking over some of these
clips with us, Okay, great, Yeah, that's okay, And we're
gonna play this first one. Um, this is an interrogation.
This is something Ron pulled up. It's one of his
favorite programs, but he says because of the accuracy, it's
a powerful interrogation from the show. Colombo telling me where
(10:55):
you were last night Sunday night at the movies alone? No,
with Irving? And where did you go after the movie?
Back to Herb's place? Did you have your Yes? But
on weekends I usually like to sleep over at Herb's.
At what time did you get back to my part?
(11:17):
About ten thirty? And then what you do? We watched
TV and what did you do with if you watch TV?
We made love? Okay, then we went to sleep and
neither you left the apartment between eleven thirty and three am. No,
(11:37):
I told you first we watched TV and then we
made love. And Mr Crutch never left the apartment. If
you were asleep, I would you know, left the apartment
or not? Well, we didn't actually go to sleep till
maybe about two thirty. These things take time, now, and
(12:03):
that's the crunch. Never left the upon No, the letable
room now? Oh well, once to get me fresh orange juice.
Very suggestive. She keeps talking about making love. It's a
little explicit, little crass and and those of you guys
are listening at home, can't see the clip. But she
(12:25):
is beautiful. Oh my god. I don't know if that helps.
She is gorgeous, Joe, I'm sure you had. Did you
have to hear language like this at work? M hmm yeah,
but not from the suspects? Um, did that suspect talk
way too much? Well? You know what was interesting is
the methodology. You know, you have to account for all
(12:48):
the behavior and all the time. So m. Colombo was impeccable. There.
Colombo's very thorough. You want to get that time that
time frame down. But did you notice the guy never
said a word. Yeah, she's there with her boyfriend. He's
not saying a word. But that's women for you. Talk
talk talk talk zip it up, but not now, no,
(13:12):
not not then back then Yeah, now, women can talk
all you want. Yeah. Thanks. Um. I've heard that there's
a technique that a lot of cops use where they
just repeat a lot of questions to try to catch
if your story, to see how consistent your story? Would
you use that, Joe, I would use a form of that.
(13:36):
I would uh, you know, I just dig down deeper.
I just say could I have more details? So if
they said yeah, if they say I entered the house,
I want to know, well, which door was it and
was the light on or not? Right? Yeah, well let's
take a look and see. But I like that clip.
(13:58):
Oh well we have, we've We've got a couple more.
This next one is from the show Chicago p D.
Y and uh, I know most guys in the forest
must love coming home relaxing after work and watching Chicago
p D. It must be so relaxing to go watch
a show and where you're fighting the same bad guys
and you you're having the same love triangles. Yeah, that's true,
(14:20):
you guys are Is there a favorite show in the
fields besides Chicago p D? Well, I mean, now, the
big one is mind Hunter. Oh yes, I've read the
book and watched the show. Very big fan. Yeah, very popular.
I get more questions about that, like how how close
(14:43):
to the real thing isn't But but the second most
questions you get is from Chicago p D. Though, right,
uh Ron no, uh okay, No, that's good for me too.
It's good for me too because I've been telling people
that mo FBI former FBI guys love and talk about
(15:03):
and get questions about Chicago p D. There's also Chicago Fire.
There's Chicago, Chicago mad There's Chicago Daycare. There's Chicago Travel Agency.
There's Chicago Airport, which they should just called O'Hare what
they should call it, called Chicago Airport. But the list
(15:23):
goes on and on. It's it's NBC's lineup, and they're
doing a great job. They're knocking it out of the park. Okay,
let's play this from Chicago. P d oh wan, lawyer, lawyer,
He wants a lawyer. H get him a lawyer. This
is illegal that he needs a lawyer right now. Oh
(15:46):
my god, if you one chance to tell me where
the Brasils gets on? Oh my god, I'm scared of him.
And give me the past words. Saw you twisted websites? Yeah?
What's in it from me? Yeah? What's good? Okay? Reasonable?
(16:08):
He also would like a lawyer. Yeah, your ability to live?
Oh my god, excuse me? You heard him? Well, as
they say in Poughkeepsie, whoa yeah, yeah, whoa right? Joe? Okay,
so Joe is that cops voice? What what you guys
(16:31):
are supposed to sound like? Only if you smoke four
packs a day? Only if you smoke four packs a day.
He might just be sexy. He might just be inherently sexy. Well,
that's that's true too, But Ron I, I gotta go
with you. When when he said I want my attorney,
that's it. You gotta walk out of that room. Joe.
(16:52):
Can you give me your sexiest gravellist voice right now
as if you were on Chicago p D? Yeah? Ron,
where were you last night? Yeah? Can you give me
a little more gravel D? I need to know. I
need to know what we're worried last night? Were you?
(17:13):
Because you're not leaving this room until you tell me. God, Joe,
that is good. Good, that's really good. Watch out Chicago
p D. Joe Navarro, p D. Jetskmi. I'm James Komi
and I'm seven ft doll. Punch you in the nuts.
(17:33):
You don't give me the info? Is that a direct quote? No,
I'm just riffing as jos and what I think James
would say. Do I still do? I still have to gravel? Oh? No, No,
you're good, You're good, Joe. I mean, unless you want
to know. I don't want to sound like what's his
name on the Simpsons? So, Joe, are you married? Can
I ask? I am? Indeed? Because you might want to
(17:55):
try that voice out in the bedroom tonight. That was free.
That was free. Okay, let's go to another Chicago p D.
Is it right, Caroline, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah it
is um Okay, it's just a knock on the door
(18:16):
the girls apartment. Girls that she opens the door. What
are you doing here? This doesn't seem like an interrogation scene.
He brought her back up. That's where it went. I
bumped into your desk and and accidentally fell in my pocket.
I know you didn't parking that I didn't have time.
You didn't. You took it so you could come and
(18:38):
show up at her apartment. Come on, I didn't just
fall off the apple truck. I like this writing though
a guy has ever used to try to get into
my apartment, I was expecting it. Thank you. You know
that actor actually dated Lady Gaga. Fun fact, you're missing
(18:59):
the best part kissing smooth your rooney kissing? Now? Is
this what you're watching here, Joe? Pretty common in the
FBI world amongst colleagues. Only only with our spouses. That
is not common. That's by the way. Did you did
you notice her body her body language? Immediately you had
that head tilt, and of course head tilt means uh
(19:24):
kind of. I'm I'm interested. I'm curious. I'm curious, I'm interested. Yeah,
we only know what Joe. We forgot that you. You
are a expert on body language? Is that is that true? Yes? Yeah,
I've been studying it for about forty years. How does
(19:44):
that affect your marriage? Do you? Sometimes you say I
can tell you're full of it to your wife. Well,
head tilt, honey, arms, arms folded, I can tell you're
a set. Yeah. The the your lips are compressed and
the glabella, the little area between your eyes is furrowed.
(20:07):
So keep it clean, keep it clean. Sorry, and uh,
so I know you're stressed, and she'll say knock it off,
and uh and I will pliantly abide. Um. But you know,
it's it's funny. You have to sometimes you have to
turn it off at home because when you can see everything,
(20:28):
it can be annoying. So you just have to pretend
you're just seeing somebody stressed. You have to turn that
part of your brain off. Yeah, I understand that. Yeah, Caroline,
you had to go to your oh B to have
your gloat checked out. Yeah, well wait, wait, what about
(20:49):
your fil trum tum? Is that um? What connects your
teeth to your mouth because your gum. No, it's a
little area just below the nose that and and connects
to your upper lip pilum. That's called the fill trumen.
(21:12):
That's also an erogenous zone, isn't it. Well, it could be.
But what's interesting is during interviews when people are stressed,
how this little area sort of fills up with moisture. Okay,
so and you can tell that during interrogations that helps you.
It's yeah, it just tells you, well, whatever the questions
(21:32):
I'm asking, they're stressed. So the question is why it So,
if you were into crime, it pay to have all
the sweat pores removed from your fildrum. Yeah, or ever
be caught. Yeah, and interrogation or botoxed. Botox gets rid
of the the ability to sweat from there. Yeah. Smart
(21:56):
poker players do it. Poker players get botox in their filter.
They get botox and a lot of places because they
give so much away with their faces called a tell
A tell, Yeah, yeah, yeah, Should I go back to
that voice? Well please? The health Yeah, my filterm, my
(22:18):
filter is sopping with What was the first body part
you mentioned, Joe, the globella that was the first part.
Beautiful name for a girl. Um, so, Joe, tell me
about Quantico. And for for our listeners who don't know
what Quantico is, what can you explain that? Yeah, Quantico
(22:39):
is the the the famous Marine Corps base and they
allowed us to on their property to build the FBI
Academy and uh and that's where all agents go. I
will tell you this, and most people don't realize this.
At Quantico, the dormitory doors never had a lock. And
that's because the people were so honest that, um, you
(23:04):
didn't need locks. And I have to say, I've never
been in an institution where you didn't have to lock
your door. Did anyone while you were there? To get
kicked out of? Quantico isn't easy place to get kicked
out of. Uh, very much, so very much drinking a
beer or staying out too late. No, it was it
(23:25):
was usually either because of physical fitness or they didn't
do well in the academics. Oh, because you're basically you're
the dummies and the fatties they get the boot. Well,
I wouldn't put it that way. It's I mean, we
had we had some people that just could not for instance,
(23:48):
the trigger test. They couldn't do the trigger poll test.
What's the trigger pol test? It's, uh, you know, how
much strength do you have in that that index finger
to pull the trigger? Uh, consistently as though you were
in a firefight. And some people, believe it or not,
could not pass that test, Caroline. I'm gonna put you
(24:11):
through the trigger poll test every morning and if you
don't pass it, what are you serious? We'll just have
to find someone else. God. Yeah, Ron, it has to
be job related. I think it has to be job related. Okay,
all right, good to know. And what did you guys
(24:32):
do for fun at Quantico? Uh? Was there a lot
to be had? Not? Really? It was you know, any pranks? Oh? Yes,
can I lots of pranks? Can I? Can I tell
you one? Please? Please? Okay, Joe we go. So one
(24:58):
of the one of the one of the classes could
be this is gonna be right out of a script
of Chicago p D. I already feel it. Yeah. One
of the class counselors was he was a little bit
too uptight, so um so that everybody we had taken
a class on crime scene. So we staged that that
somebody had jumped from the sixth story building and we
(25:21):
called the class counselor over and said, look, look what
just happened. And um, I didn't partake him this, I
only heard about it. But apparently as a result of
looking down the window and seeing what he thought was
a somebody that had jumped the class counsel well, he
(25:42):
developed a nervous tick in his face that three years
later was apparently still there. So, oh, you guys, you
that this stunt, it looked, triggered a debilitating tick that
will haunt him for the rest of his days. But
(26:05):
now we call that. Now, we call that PTSD. So
they framed yea yea very serious. Yeah, good stuff that was.
That was in the seventies. Those things took place in
the seventies. No, totally, yeah, no. So what is this
last clip that you pulled up? This is a this
is a clip We're gonna really it's important to you.
(26:28):
Here's a clip that I want you to watch. Jim Crocey.
It's just Jim crowbarator. I'm gonna be honest. The muscle
(26:49):
relaxing has fully kicked in. And I love this song. Anyway.
Do I need to keep asking you questions? You don't
care about that, right, I mean Joe, think about it.
I've been interrogating you. You're probably like, all right, man,
lay off, let's just all hang out. Yeah. Yeah, we're
(27:12):
all friends and we should just be hanging out. I
love it when we all get to get it like this,
and no, is there going to be a question, Joe,
Joe quiet, I've learned to take it well, just not
(27:40):
the way you rock roun. All right, Ron passed out. Nick,
Let's just cut to the commercial. Let's cut commercial, and
we're back with the Ron Burgundy Podcast. I have never
been more awake, Ron, I'm not kidding. You were a
(28:02):
stille three hours. Everyone else has had like a whole
day here. I ran to Errand's. Nick picked up his
kids from school. Our intern renewed their passport really while
I was here at work. Wow, welcome to the millennial workforce,
ladies and gentlemen. They're really great employees. Is the FBI
(28:25):
guys still here, by the way, Joe, No, he left
right when you start playing Jim Crocey and then you
asked him to hang out, got it? You know, I
love Jim, but I've had a few people turn away
when I put that record on. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah.
It makes people feel things up already, right, It gets vulnerable, emotional. Well,
(28:49):
this was an episode where we laid down the law
and I hope everyone at home feels a little safer
after hearing what our community of law enforcement. Carolina, are
you still here? I can't look around, so you need to.
You need to walk me home. You can't leave, Okay,
do not sneak out. I wouldn't do that. I'm just
(29:11):
going to stand up now and please help me walk
out and wrap my scarf around me. Okay, sunglasses, sunglasses, hat, hat,
purse first. Good night, folks. I'll catch you next time
on The Ron Burgundy Podcast. Don't fix my hand? Okay, okay.
(29:42):
The Ron Burgundy Podcast is a production of I Heart Radio.
I'm Ron Burgundy. The host, writer and executive producer Carolina
Barlow is my co host, writer and producer. Our producer
is Nick Stump. Our talent coordinator is Anna Hosny. Writers
are Andrew Steele and Jake Vobleist. This episode was engineered, mixed,
(30:04):
and edited by Nick step m
Host
Will Ferrell
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