Jay Mohr: From SNL to Sobriety

Comedian and actor Jay Mohr joins The Seano show for a raw and hilarious conversation about recovery, reinvention, and the realities of life in the spotlight. Jay opens up about his journey from Saturday Night Live and Jerry Maguire to battling addiction and finding freedom in sobriety. The episode dives into ego, panic attacks, and the power of honesty, all delivered with Jay’s signature wit.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Saturday night life. I don't want to talk about Saturday
night life. Yeah, you gotta ask a question though it
was fuck what was that? Michael sheer Will. I realized
I was powerless over people, places and things. My life
so manageable, so I gave up, got a sponsor, started

(00:25):
working the steps. Here's my sponsor, al Pacino. Yeah, why
do you put pen in the paper? There is no
chapter inter thinking All rightybody, welcome back to the Sino Show,

(00:45):
where we talk recovery, reinvention, and living out loud with
the most interesting humans on the planet. Today. I got
a man in the building whose life is touched just
about every corner of American culture. He's a Jersey kid
who fought his way to Saturday Lie. The scene is
stealing Assassin.

Speaker 2 (01:04):
From Jerry McGuire, the legendary Bob sure, the creator last
Comic Standing, a Grammy nominated to Stand, a best selling author,
gasping for airtime, married the iconic Jenny Buss. That's a move, bro,
I want to get into that. But here's why I
want hit him on the show. Behind all the credits,
all the last is a man who's been honest about addiction,

(01:26):
panic attacks, ego, divorce, messing it up, making amends, finding
love again, and doing the hard spiritual work to stay
in the game.

Speaker 1 (01:33):
He's lived the dreams, survived the nightmare, come out on
the other side with a heart, a sense of humor,
and a wisdom that you folks need to listen to today. Brother,
Welcome to the Sino Show. I'm calling.

Speaker 2 (01:48):
Why didn't you correct me? Well, no, I would get
to it, you know, I thought it'd be in a moment.
Sino yeaes Sino. Yeah is it short for something?

Speaker 1 (01:55):
No?

Speaker 2 (01:55):
No, his parents named you Sino. No, they named me
scene oh spelled like yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:01):
Oh you were that guy in school, like actually.

Speaker 2 (02:02):
It's seen yeah yeah, well yeah exactly, yeah, hell yeah dude.

Speaker 1 (02:07):
And then I just got the nickname in sobriety and
it's just kind of stuck. And you grew up West
La No Arizona boy. Oh yeah yeah, part Scott sol Phoenix.
My last hurrah was Tempe. I was at the improv Yeah,
and I found out at my intervention. Yeah, they're like, yeah,
everybody wanted their money back. During COVID, everybody was seated

(02:30):
like ten feet away and they got these little comment
cards and comedy clubs with little mini golf pencils. Nobody
ever fills them out. But that weekend everybody high scores
and what the fuck is it? Everybody filled them out
and said he's a mess. We want our money back. Yeah.
That scared me. That showed me, Like it says in
the Big Book, I could no longer tell fantasy from reality.

(02:51):
I thought the weekend went great, you were on fire,
best show ever. Yeah, everybody else was a pain in
my ass.

Speaker 2 (02:58):
Yeah, that must have been an interesting moment when it
kind of just stuck, like shit's getting funky air.

Speaker 1 (03:04):
Well, I didn't, you know, we're the last ones to
know what a message is. It wasn't until my agent
that my intervention was like itemizing how I was out
of show business. Yeah, if you look at my IMDb page,
it's pretty obvious when my drug addiction takes hold, because
it's you know, you're working with Academy Award winners. You're
working with Keanu Reeves, Forrest Whitaker, Allen Burst and Jenna Rowlands,

(03:27):
Tom Cruise Al Pacino, and then there's a big gap,
and then there's a couple of years later, there's one
Talking dog movie and I'm not a lead dog. It's
kind of obvious. I'm a receptionist at Chewy Vatan, right,
I'm like fourteenth on the call sheet of a talking
dog movie.

Speaker 2 (03:46):
Shit was rough, brother rough, Shit was rough. I saw
that shit was rough. Match it was rough.

Speaker 1 (03:51):
Let's go back to Themasu, said Bark Williams. You do
this whole day. First, drugged choice is validation. Yeah. If
you don't like me, I'm not sure how to act,
So I like what you like. So case in point,
when I came in here, you were playing jazz and
I recognized it instantly. I was at a party in Manhattan.
I was twenty years old, and this model was talking

(04:13):
to her photographer about jazz and I went noted, went home.
I asked if I was gonna get one jazz city,
which one should I get? And they both at the
same time, said Miles Davis, kind of blue. I listened
to that. I looked at the list of the musicians
on the album. I went to Tower Records and I
got a Canniball Latterly record. I got a Bill Evans
record I got so I just started making this treat

(04:35):
and then now I know jazz. But the reason I
did it was I wanted that girl. I wanted that
girl to know that I liked the exact same thing
she liked. Wow. Yeah. So that's why my intervention was quick,
because the fastest way, for about eight minutes in I
told everybody, I'm going to treatment, just see, you know.
But it wasn't it was It wasn't virtue, it was circumstanced.

(04:55):
The fastest way for an approval addict to get a
room with people going looking miserable and shaking their heads. No,
they're looking happy again, was just to agree to what
they were offering, which was life. Yeah, wow, how are
you with that? Now? You know my name? It's the
best name. Man. You fucking give me an attitude bout
my name? Bro? No, you're coming at me hot j

(05:16):
James J yeahsn't Yeah, how is it now? Which was
the validation for validation? It's always, you know, my business
relies on what you think of me. So it's it
is interesting, you know, you're the whole thing about recovery
is smashing the ego, just a complete daily smashing of
the ego. And then you go up on stage and
people applaud because you showed up. Before you open your mouth,

(05:39):
he's here. It's the only job you get applause. You're
in an office sharpening pencils. Nothing, as Alan Havy says,
nothing nothing.

Speaker 2 (05:49):
The story you have a prison saying I don't what
other people think is basically none of my business. And
a guy had a question for you, was that, Oh wow,
you did research.

Speaker 1 (05:58):
Yeah. One of my sponsores, ed does prison panels via zoom,
and it started with eight. Well the case in point,
let me get to your question was there's a question
and answer after I speak, after the guest speaks, and
the one guy goes. You said, you don't care what
people think about you, but you know your whole business
is based on how people think about you, So how

(06:19):
do you square that? And I said, you know what,
I really I care a lot about what people think
about me. I can't lie to you guys. And that's
when I actually won the room over one thing about
speaking in prisons. They can sniff bullshit real fast. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
because I'll go up. I just spoke a solid ad
two saturdays ago, and there's I was talking to a
guy in there forty seven years and he's not coming home,

(06:41):
and he's at this meeting and I'm like I have.
The only thing I have in common is I guess addiction.
But I tell them up front, I've never been arrested,
I've never been incarcerated, I've never overdosed, I've never been homeless.
But I lost, and that seems to be what gets
them on myself. Lost is the theme from the heart.
People like that I lost. Yeah, sorry, night Live, I

(07:05):
don't want to talk about Sorday Night Live. Yeah. You
gotta ask a question, though, Fuck, what was that you?
A Madra Shad Michael sheer Will Now I want to know, man,
what was like being fucking SNL in the fucking panic attacks,
being with those those cast members. It was one of
the greatest things that ever happened to me that I

(07:27):
couldn't see at all as it was. You know, it's
the greatest thing that ever happened, And when it's happening
to you, but then you have to do the work,
and you don't know how to do the work, so
then you self medicate. Then the work gets harder and
more vague. It's a tough place to learn on the fly.
But there was nothing special about my Nobody was hazing me.

(07:48):
Nobody was If you go back through the history of
the show. The people that are the most famous on
the show. They started as a bailiff in a sketch
with no lines, right, And I just didn't That's not
why I'm here. It was ego, ego, ego. And if
I played well with others, played better with others, and
I was willing to wait my turn, maybe there was

(08:10):
a completely different result. But it was bad for my health.
I have no ill feelings towards it whatsoever. It was
the greatest education I've ever gotten. Like you'll be on
the set of a sitcom and the writers are kobutzing
and they cannot figure out how to rewrite something. And
then if you've been on SNL, I've had this happen.
I'm Gary unmarried where I walk over to like six

(08:30):
writers and I go, no, you take my line out,
give it this from here to here. Gone, have her
enter and say my line, and then we start here
and they go, oh, okay, It's just it's a great
It's like getting a PhD in writing. Everything can be
shorter and anybody can have my lines. I don't like,
we're here. I'm not a line whore, like I'm I'm

(08:55):
here to work less. Yeah, got it. Yeah, how did
you with that ego? The panic attacks and the hierarchy
of that show? How is that dealing with that? It's
the hierarchy. It's really comes down to. It feels like
you're a freshman hanging out with seniors, you know what
I mean, Like you're in the conversation, but you're not

(09:16):
really in the conversation. And the seniors aren't to blame.
They've been together for four years and all of a sudden,
there's a you could be the coolest freshman on earth,
but you just got here, like we don't know you.
It's probably like in recovery, you got your guys right,
and there's a newcomer you're like, we'll see, yeah, let's see. Yeah,
we'll see. Oh I got a year. Good good for him.
That's beautiful. I haven't really thought about this this way.

(09:39):
So I like how you frame the question with validation
and ego and panic attacks. When you get panic attacks,
it's so lack of control, unsettling. So it's on the
world is ending. Your insides want to be on your outside.
You're dying. You don't think you're dying, you are dying,
and you can't communicate. There's no rhyme reason to it.

(10:00):
And there's a big difference, as you know, between panic
and anxiety. Anxiety is stimulus response. My boss is a dick,
so and when I drive to work, I get anxious.
That's because that guy does that. It makes me feel
this way. Panic is you'll just be in the shower
looking at a towel on the rack and go and
there's no rhyme or reason to it. I went to

(10:21):
a Sarah Silverman hooked me up with a psychopharmacologist, Noel
Taylor in New York. That absolutely saved my life. Wow.
She got me on kalanapin, the only drug I had
in abuse. But they don't give a shit at rehab
when you tell them that, Yeah, no kidding. Klanapin was heellful?
Oh yeah, because it's prophylactic. It works prophylactically. You take

(10:44):
it and it stays in your bloodstream, so mentally, when
you get symptoms of panic, you're able to go, well,
I can't have panic because this is in my bloodstream. This, Oh,
I have a stuff. He knows, that's why I'm short
of breast or. I took a red eye and I
only had an hour of sleep. That's why I'm getting
a little disoriented in the afternoon. This isn't a panic
attack happening. These are just single symptoms, and you can

(11:06):
separate that which I'm dealing with now with like because
my panic attacks came back four and a half year
sober on planes, specifically to airplanes. So I haven't flown
since July, where I just can't can't sleep at night
if I have a flight coming up. It's the not crashing,
it's just the enclosure. Wow. And so I learned from

(11:29):
you guys, back into the steps. It's all wanting to
be in control. I went to trauma therapy, still go.
Good for you, man. But the best help I ever
got was this gal at the Alano Club that I've
known my whole sobriety, maybe a year behind me, Kelly,
sister from Philly and tough chick, gorgeous. She goes, so,

(11:53):
what's this thing where you can't fly? I don't want
to talk about it, so I go, just see, I'm
working on it. She goes, Oh, you're working on it.
She got me, She got you, Oh you're working on it,
And that shipped. Thanks for you bit more than the
steps and trauma therapy combined, like she she encapsulated it

(12:14):
into like, yeah, I'm gonna fix the brain with the problem.
Can't be the brain to fix the problem that I
think quote, Yeah, it's beautiful man. I was like, oh,
I'm just completely trying to just wrangle fifty cats at once.
And I actually said to my wife the other night,
I can't wait to fly again. And she's like, whoa,
that's great.

Speaker 2 (12:33):
And then didn't you if I got this correctly, did
you have like a bunch of shows you're gonna do
stand up shows and you canceled them?

Speaker 1 (12:40):
I canceled. I used to cancel a lot when I
was using but uh I did. Plus, you know what,
I'm done with the road. It's too much. It's a
young man's game. Young man's game. It's it's just like
I love doing stand up I don't like flying sitting around.
You're in a hotel and Albany, New York all weekend.

(13:01):
Just only nine more hours until I get to play. Wow.
People like, well, don't you see the sights? I'm like,
maybe you didn't hear me when I said Albany.

Speaker 2 (13:12):
New York, right, yeah, got it. Jerry Maguire, what the
fuck was that like man, he got the call.

Speaker 1 (13:24):
It was my first movie, first movie. You're like, hold
twenty five playing a thirty five year old in the script,
he's thirty five, Bob Sugar. I auditioned to play the
quarterback first played by Joey O'Connell and whatever reason, I
sailed through like the pre auditions, and then when I
got to Cameron Crowe, I just could not do a

(13:46):
Southern accent. I just completely blew it. I was all
over there. The man of any voices couldnot do it.
I was like, hey, am, I am all like I couldn't.
I don't know. And so then they said, I you know,
if you read the script? I said yeah. They said, well,
you know the part to the mail Nanny. I go yeah,
and they go, would you read for that? I said,
anything to be in this movie. So I went out

(14:07):
in the hallway and there's like four pages of dialogue.
But the big speech in that audition scene was when
he says to Tom, I want you to use this.
And you think he's going to give Tom Cruise a
condom to use with renez Elwiger, but it's Steady hands
him a cassette and what is on that cassette Miles Davis,
John Coltrane, Canniballatterly. I had that cassette. Oh that's beautiful.

(14:31):
So what probably took everybody else days to remember. I
looked at it, and that's how I felt like this
John Coltrane, Canniballatterly, two masters of jazz doing the thing
blah blah blah, and an eighteen year old drummer and
the only white guy he ever worked with with Bill
Evans on the piano, not including gill Evans when he
worked with a you know, bitches brew But like I
knew that already from my obsession with jazz, from my

(14:52):
approval addict, So my defective character helped me get apart.
So anyway, not that part. So I read that part.
I literally was in the hall for about twenty minutes,
came back in said I'm ready, and I nailed it,
and then everybody was really quiet afterwards, and Jim Brooks
was standing against his desk with his butt against his desk,
and he just goes, how about sugar. I was like,

(15:15):
holy shit, that's like the part right. And what I
didn't realize at the time was they had an offer
out to Owen Wilson to play Bob Sugar because he
did Bottle Rocket with Jim Brooks. So they had to
rescind his offer after they couldn't offer to me because
they hadn't offered to him. Wow, which would have been
an I came here to fire you. It's crazy. Yeah,

(15:38):
like what are we talking about? You said you wanted smaller. Yeah,
it's real. You should say something. It's crazy. That's fucking beautiful. Man.
That was incredible. It was this big, giant machine with
Tom Cruise and Cameron Crowe and Regina King and keep
a Gunning Junior, and there's Jim Brooks and Yannish Kamiski.

(16:00):
He was the director of photography for Schindler's List. Yeah,
it was. We shot like three pages a day. Maybe
it was huge. Wow, Yeah it was. And everybody was
so cool and fun and it was the best case scenario.
Tom Cruise, come right, the best? Yeah, the best. What
was it like the first time you saw the movie?

(16:20):
I cried, did you? Yeah? I'm a big music guy.
I'm a big audio file And the opening credits was
magic Bus Live at leads by the Who and my
name on screen by It's my agent had negotiated a
single card meaning your name only, like it's not you know, Sino,
Jmore Keith, It's just and I was like whatever, he goes, no, no,

(16:41):
trust me, single card and it's a picture of Earth
and the thing.

Speaker 3 (16:46):
And you know what I mean, Townsend, Yeah, goosebumps.

Speaker 1 (16:53):
And then Jamore and I was like, every day get mcue.
I'm like, I cried, I'm a softie. I just did
that movie Sweet Dreams, directed by my buddy Lies, and
I didn't know the opening song was gonna be Bad Brains.
I love Bad Brains, and it just I'm in, I'm

(17:15):
in the screening and it's just I'm like the movie
with bad brains music.

Speaker 2 (17:22):
Grect great little movie by the way. That yeah, Johnny
was great. All my scenes were Johnny Yeah, yeah, yeah,
this is how funny was. We were gonna film. I
played Johnny Knoxville's sponsor. And you can see me at
two hundred and fifty pounds, just a big blob of shit.
I'm bald and.

Speaker 1 (17:40):
Fat, unrecognizable. Yeah, you're just very tight right now, good wig? Right? Yeah,
you never know. I'm wearing this wig. Uh. And we're
supposed to shoot a scene where I take him out
to eat it. Baby Blues Barbecues on Lincoln and we
didn't know it burnt down. So we get there. All
locations is there and we show up and it's just

(18:01):
just it's just ash and Eliza just goes the director
e Liz just goes, all right, so just do the
scene and you get here. But it's part town. I'm like,
works for me, works for me. So we just walk
in and go holy shit, and we just do the
dialogue while we're doing this. He made it simple, keep
it simple. Soupid e Liiji's a beauty Yeah, yeah, yeah, wow.

(18:23):
So he had to I was so fat. There was
a scene after an AA meeting where we're sitting on
a bench and he had to he had to push
me back because my belly was covering Johnny Knoxville's face.
He was down the wall from me, sitting on this wall.
How's it is all the way? Uh? Stop beating ice
cream in the middle of the night. I go to

(18:43):
the gym every day, o zempic Yeah mostly that one. Yeah.
I think I wake up to pee in the middle
of the night. I wind up having a picnic in
my hallway. I'm you know, I get up to take
a leak. I got a lion king blanket out. I'm
eating Coco pebbles watching YouTube videos. You're that guy? Yeah? Yeah.
If I did to get up to pee, I'd wait
one sixty Yeah. I get up three times to pee. Yeah.

(19:08):
I used to snort speed off my toilet tank. Now
I'm at CBS waiting in line for Flomax. Like what happened?
I like when you get on ozempic or like I'm
on Manjaro and people say, aren't you worried about the
side effects? Like what what that? I don't have to
have sex with my wife laying on my side with
a T shirt on anymore. I'm alright with that. That

(19:29):
works for you, right, I don't think get blown with
my back to the mirror. Yeah, what that's good? Man?
Oh god?

Speaker 2 (19:39):
What's when Jerry McGuire came out held? Were you twenty
six to twenty six? You got the number one movie
in the world? Not true, Not true.

Speaker 1 (19:51):
Here's a little inside trivia. It was third that weekend.
Opening weekend, it was The Preacher's Wife Mars Attacks Jerry Maguire.
Two Mars Attacks Preacher's Wife Jerry Maguire. Week three, Jerry
maguire Mars attacks Preacher's wife. Week four. Jerry maguire, Right,

(20:11):
it was weird. Yeah, so Week three, number one movie. Well,
you know, when it comes out, it's really comedians have
such you know, you hear about the disease of perception
and lack of proportion and perception. Herbka is big on perception. Yeah,
and it's like, I think comedians are atrocious at perception.
Like a comedian does a special and then a week

(20:33):
later he's at the comedy cellar and in his mind,
we have to do a completely new fifteen twenty minutes
because everybody's already seen the hour it was on Netflix.
Like the odds of these one hundred and fourteen people
having memorized your one hour special and being mad that
you're repeating it is asinine. But when Jerry maguire came out,

(20:54):
I came out of the subway like like in my mind,
everybody on earth saw Jerry McGuire. Nothing. Nobody recognized me, nothing. Nothing.
I go to LA I go back to New York.
After it was on DVD. I came out of the
subway and every construction worker was like, oh my god,
Bob Sugar. Wow. So that's when I learned that way

(21:17):
more people see your stuff after the fact. Wow. Interesting.
And then how much longer after that did you do
to the Jennifer Anison movie? We did him? I did
him at the same time. Oh you did? Yeah, a
little overlap. Are you surprised how good that came out?
It kind of underperformed at the time. Maybe it's a
great movie. Though. It's a really good movie. It's a

(21:37):
really fucking good and you're fucking really good at it. Thanks, man,
you really are good. I didn't know what I was doing.
I just look, here's my whole acting process. It's not
my turn yet. It's not my turn. My turn's my
turn's coming up? Okay, here goes ready after he words
it's not my turn. It's kind of boring when it's

(21:58):
not my turn. My back kurts, I have to fart
so bad right now, Oh, my turn's coming up again.

Speaker 2 (22:05):
It's my entire proce. That's your process. Forget brandow point.
It's the whole new system you got going on here.
Well it clearly works. Yeah, I guess, sir.

Speaker 1 (22:16):
I like, do you want to do more movies? Yeah? Yeah, yeah.
But it's also the destruction of the ego. I just
don't the chases out of me. I just kind of
don't care and I don't need money, Like, let's be honest,
I'm married. Well yeah, so it's like, well, if I
don't need the money, why am I going on the road? Exactly.
My sponsor was big on, no, you will pay that

(22:37):
child support that will not come from any other We
are self supporting. Yeah right on, and went all right,
and he would stay on me about it. I'm like, bro,
I got it. You got a kid in college that's
self supporting. So but like, give us this day our
daily bread. I don't like I'm good, I'm okay. I've
saved some money I find you know, I got out

(22:57):
of debt. And if I'm not doing it for the money,
why am I doing it? Yeah? Right on. It's like
I see other comedians tour schedules and I get anxiety
reading their dates. Right, Oh, what a horrible way. Hey,
come see me Friday in Hamilton, Ontario, and then Saturday
I'm in Newfoundland, and then I'm in Boston Tuesday, Like
what so what do you do Monday? Right? Wow? Although

(23:21):
there's a Lakina in commercial now where a lady's laying
in bed at night, just playing a game on her iPad, right,
and I go, that looks amazing like that, like I
get it, just alone in the middle of nowhere in
a bed, just with those two stupid lamps. You can't
figure out where to turn them on and off. She's
just playing on her iPad. I'm like, that's also fun.

Speaker 2 (23:42):
With your career. Do you have faith? I'm just going
to show up, keep my side of the street clean.
It's all going to drop in or you sweat it.

Speaker 1 (23:50):
It's the no, I've never sweated. Really, it's it's the
only way it's ever worked out is that it's worked
out right. And again like I don't, I'm good. I
kind of feel like when I show up to do
Hollywood Squares or something, I'm like, this is what I
should be doing. I just want to be Jim J.
Bullock the rest of my life without other cock. You're right, like,

(24:11):
let me just be, let me just be the upper
middle square, right. I just hang out with my friends.
But I feel like.

Speaker 2 (24:18):
When I j for a Jay, Yeah, that's beautiful.

Speaker 1 (24:22):
It's fun. Like, let's enjoy life. We absolutely insist on
enjoying life. I just read that this morning. Right, But
when I show up to places with a lot of
other comics, it's almost like the old gun slinger that
comes through the saloon doors, Like that's the guy that
took out Johnny Ringo. Like I'm that guy now, Like
I'm thirty eight years in. I go to comedy and

(24:43):
magic club. I see a friend and they're like, you've
had a great Like it's almost like when people see
me now I'm at my own funeral, they just save
my accomplishments back to me. Yeah, like, boy, you've had
a great career. All right, Yeah, I gotta go on
stage now, all right. The intervention, the intervention, they came
up a very clever way. I was talking about it's

(25:03):
a great fucking story here. They played to my ego
very smartly. I have my podcast More Stories, Subscribe, yes, YouTube, iTunes, Apple, Spotify,
et cetera. I was told for my podcast at my
house at the next morning, I was gonna interview Wu

(25:23):
Tang Clan, and I was so high I thought that
was true. I thought Wu Tang Clan was coming to
my house right at eight in the morning. At eight
in the morning. I don't know if you listen to
Wu Tank clan, but they probably not movement at that time,
not morning people, probably just getting a bit right. But
they were so excited to do the show with you.
They're gonna make an exception. Sure. Yeah, I was gonna
help them with their careers, right because I'm doing talking

(25:46):
dog movies. I could help them. Yeah, I could get
a move the tank plan the boost they needed. And
I walked into my podcast room at nine am and
my producer was there. She was very made up and perfume,
and I went that she must really love Wu Tank Clan.
And then my wife came downstairs, my girl, Genie, but

(26:06):
she's my girlfriend at the time. I'm like, well, okay,
that makes sense. And then a comedian, Skylar Stone Sober
comes in, but he helped book it, so the first
three people made sense. Nothing too crazy about this. She
smells a little good, looking, a little extra good. And
then I was so high. I was like, all right,

(26:26):
but you guys got to get out of here because
Wu Tank Clan's coming over. What were you high on
at the time? All took me out. That was your
get down? Yeah, snorted that a lot of it all day, Yeah,
all day, And uh, that's such a nasty Eye. It's
like Popeye taken spinach. I'm gonna write a book. I'm
gonna open a jiu jitsu studio with tanning machines in

(26:48):
the back. I'm gonna learn Spanish and get a talk
show on Telemundo. A lot of ideas that we are
a couple. I stand by me just having a talk
show and tell Amundo. Oh I mean I'm on a way. Yeah.
Oh fuck, I want to see that show jud just
with tanning beds. Oh yeah, it's a great fucking idea.
Your tan Yeah, I'll bring it. I'll be a customer
right now, sign me up. I used to have a

(27:08):
tanning bed in my garage when I that was in
the days. Oh fuck man. People used to come over
and be like what I'm like, yeah, yeah, let me
get eight minutes before I step out into the real world,
even though I'm not going anywhere anymore. Nothing like being
high on adderall in a tanning bed. I would. I
would snort adderall before a massage. There you go, you can.

(27:31):
It's like when you people are big dope smokers, like
let's go to the grocery store. Let's get stoned and
go to the grocery store. It's like, let's get a massage.
Hold on, I'm ready. I'm ready for my massage. It's crazy. Yeah, man,
everything I thought was better with that going on stage,
just yacked out and fighting mind yeah, just getting jokes wrong,

(27:53):
doing the wrong impression and the wrong bits. So I
knows it is right now, but I don't want to
scratch it because we're talking about storting.

Speaker 2 (28:01):
So look, you're all excited, you're fucking high on adderall
wu thing's coming in. You got a lot of plans,
lots of ideas.

Speaker 1 (28:07):
And then the intervention has rolled in and he just
didn't look like anybody else there. It's just some skinheads.
It's like, huh, I don't think this guy came with
tank Lan and they sat down. It was in in
my house where I do my podcast now, which is
kind of poetic justice now it's yeah, and uh they've
read their letters and I told him, I said, just see,

(28:28):
you know, I'm going to treatment, and I went to, uh,
why don't you fight it? Huh, you were done. Well,
a lot of people. He's not going to book me,
she's not going to live with me.

Speaker 2 (28:40):
Well yeah, yeahs of interventions and it's not uncommon for
them to guard really.

Speaker 1 (28:45):
So fifty years old, so I was kind of I'm.

Speaker 2 (28:47):
Glad you did, But was there one Was there one
letter in there that really cracked you?

Speaker 1 (28:53):
Uh? No, they all cracked me. They all cracked you.
Well they also, you know, when you're high and your
you're pointing out how everyone's full of shit, like, oh,
you got balls right that you You can't even produce
a podcast. You gave me fucking aderall, you son of all.
Let's talk about the mistress that you're not talking about, right, Yeah, yeah,
you got balls on you. But I knew. I've seen

(29:14):
this show enough and I've been around recovery. My mom
got sober when I was ten. I knew it worked.
My mom got sober when I was ten, so I
knew the program. Did she stay sober? Oh yeah, I
got her thirty seven year chip in my bathroom? No shit? Yeah,
she was like the Queen of New Jersey AA no shit, yeah, Genie,

(29:34):
well done by my name is Genie two? Well done? Mom?
Yeah that's fucking awesome, man, the best. So it was
just kind of like a warmp warm But when your
wife's gonna she bought another house and she was gonna
move into it, and I'll tell me where it was.
But that how long were you guys dating at the time,

(29:56):
Let's see four years, So she was.

Speaker 2 (29:58):
Hanging in there with you fucked up and all her fat,
all her that was a fat were fat?

Speaker 1 (30:05):
I don't Sobriety. I lived in Malibi. I woke up,
I took a paddle board to the Malibu Pier, so
six miles. Then I would go to wrestling. I was
coaching wrestling. Then I would go to wrestling practice. Then
I would stay up all night. Rinse repete. You get
pretty lean? Oh yeah, there you go, get pretty lean. Okay,
I'm just a fucking penis with the ribs. And so

(30:27):
you said, you said I'll go in and did you
leave that day? That all set up left right away,
and my intervention has had like a blue gremlin, like
a real shitty, like one of those gremlins. Oh yeah
it was. I remember driving down the four oh five.
I guess by that time it was the afternoon and
the sun just kicking the ship out of me through
the window. So I had to switch for Minutia. But

(30:48):
look when my agent said I'm not going to book
you anymore unless you go what am I going to
do for a living? I don't know how to do
any thing. So going back to your question, that's what
got me when he said he wouldn't book me anymore
because I don't. I have no discernible skills. Any penny

(31:09):
I've ever made was from running in my mouth, right,
And if he's and my agent was my friend who
I taught to become my agent. So this is the
guy when you're on rooftops in Manhattan, drinking beers, smoking joints,
We're always going to look out for each other. Man,
And he said to me, we always swore we'd look
out for each other. That's what this is. And I'm

(31:30):
two years older than him, so I thought I was
always going to be the one looking out for him.
And when he presented it like that, I was like, Jesus, Criminy,
here we are. Day I went in that day Covenant
Hills down in San Clementy, and it's so funny. I
kind of treated it like I was going to prison.
I don't know what I'm doing. I've never been so
my first day, this guy, Tommy, this tall Greek guy,

(31:53):
just offered me string cheese and I'm like, nah, I'm
good yeah, I'm good. Yeah, yeah, like some what's up
the string cheese guys trying to fuck me, Like, yeah,
what's that mean? We will be talking about string cheese?
And I shared, you know, there's different places to stay,

(32:13):
like little little units inside the unit, and I was
in there. I had my own room for a couple
of weeks, and I was in there with straight abottos
like you know ms there like so it wasn't a
real glamorous treatment, no, but it was great. It wasn't shitty.
I love that place. In hindsight. I still will speak

(32:34):
there like an alumni nights and and these guys. I
just kept myself and these guys, these botos would get
up like at four thirty five am, bibles up, big
book out on the table, writing just like they had.
They seemed to have shit figured it out. So I
would just go on the couch and just kind of

(32:55):
caied and have a Bible. But I just kind of
copied what they were doing and then then launch at
or launch just and then like on the third day,
they're like, bro, you sit with us, bro, And I was.

Speaker 2 (33:04):
Like, oh, that's beautiful program of traction. Yeah, I mean, no,
smart guy. He saw you know these cauts. Something's different
with these guys.

Speaker 1 (33:11):
But yeah, when you're in rehab, guys are in there
forty four days, you're like, what he must live here,
Like that's it's so funny. You get sober, and when
you're in rehab, the people that work there, you pedestalize them.
You're like, hope he's not mad at me. And then
they have the keys to the ram and noodle closet

(33:32):
and they give give you an extra ice cream sandwich
at night. And then you get sober you realize everybody
that works there is ten months right, like, oh fuck
that guy they did. The cravings leave you immediately pretty quick.
Oh yes, you got blessed early on. Yeah, I was
really lucky. I was at like some snack table and
this gang banger came up to me and said, well,
what was your drug of choice? Man? I said, ad

(33:54):
or all. I go, so, well are you? Are you done?
And I thought before I answered, and I went, yeah, yeah.
The only time I had it wasn't even a craving.
It was almost like a reflexive action. After that, I
went to a second rehab where we didn't get along
very well. Why'd you go to how long were you
in the first rehab for thirty days? And then there
was a zoom call with a couple guys from my interveention,

(34:18):
the agent and a buddy long Chappie, longtime Boston sober guy,
and I thought they were going to argue over who
got to come pick me up? Where do you want
to go? And it's They just held up a brashore
to a second rehab, like, no, you're gonna go here now,
and I was like what, And again, well, if you
don't go, I'm not going to book you. And then

(34:38):
I said to Chappie, what's your bottom line? And he goes, no,
bottom line, I love my life. Oh wow, that fucked
me up. Oh that's hard. That fucking came with the
Boston swagger. Bottom line, I love I got a great life.
I love my life. Just and why did they want
you to go to the second place? They just knew

(34:58):
they didn't think I was ready to time and I
why not stay there where you were at? I don't
know insurance. I got a scholarship through Comedy Cares to
go to the second place, Oh wow. And I learned
a lot about the business side of rehab. If you're
there with a scholarship. You don't get away with a lot,
and they would love it if you would leave, which

(35:19):
they got kicked out of it. Yeah. And then there
was a guy there from the island of Antigua. He
was in parliament there and he was paying cash daily.
Guy smoked wherever he wanted. He sent him out to
get down pillows in the middle of the night. He
sent him out to like the middle of San Francisco,
to like, I cannot sleep on these pillows. It was.

(35:40):
It wasn't a good fit. But getting kicked out of
that rehab for something I didn't do a girl, it
would be on my fist. Step. It actually put me
in a position of action because when I came home,
nobody really believed that I didn't do it. Because I'm
a drug addict. I knew they didn't believe me. So

(36:02):
the only way to show everyone in my immediate family
and life that I was treated unfairly was to just
immerse myself in the program and just get into the step,
work with my sponsor, always at meetings, always texting Genie,
now I'm going here, and now I'm going there. You know,
it's funny. Genie and I went to couples therapy before
we got married, and just out of nowhere, she goes,

(36:24):
and he keeps texting me like where he is all
the time? What is that? And I'm like, oh, no,
I'm actually where I'm supposed to be all the time, right,
I'm just letting you know. She for her, it was
like almost like I was gaslighting her again. I was like,
oh no, not at all. I'm just literally where I'm
supposed to be, and I'm sharing it with you so
you don't have to worry. She's like, oh, so being

(36:45):
kicked out of that rehab forced me into action because
that approval addict can have you not believing me. Yeah,
right on?

Speaker 2 (36:53):
And how long did it take you to build up
trust with your your now wife and business partners and friends.

Speaker 1 (36:59):
They're like, he's all he's in. I asked Genie that
question on my podcast More Stories, YouTube, Spotify, Apple hit subscribe,
crush you nothing, I get another watch. That's right. I
asked her when did you exhale? And she gave a
very long non answer, and I, as a joke, I
picked up my notebook and said I'll put you down

(37:20):
for a year, and she goes, no, I wasn't that quick.
Not that quick. It was when I asked her to
marry her that everything made sense at once, Like it
was like two legos had clicked together in her mind, like, Oh,
that's why he's always on the road. He's saving for
her engagement ring. Oh wow, that's why he's doing this,

(37:41):
that's why he was with desperate. Like everything like the
Rubik's cub all came together in that moment. And that's
that's when she because she makes it very clear, I didn't.
I wasn't counting on getting a husband out of this.
I just wanted you, well, God say that one more time, please.
That's I wasn't planning or counting on getting a husband
out of this. I just wanted you well, she just

(38:02):
cared about me and wanted me to get better. As
good as people might think, Genie is, it's a thousand
times more. She's ridiculous. Tell me, man, well, she had
a very stressful week this week. She had a tough week. Yeah,
she had a tough week. Her brothers had to get fired.

(38:23):
And and we're I just got acl surgery nine weeks ago,
and she had similar surgery. So we can't. We love bowling.
We go every we go every Tuesday. And we dropped
my son off at middle school and we're coming back
and I said, I really miss bowling. She goes, I
was just thinking how much I missed bowling. I go, yeah,
we're just in the car. Yeah, and she goes, do

(38:44):
you think we go to the bowling alley tonight and
just play video games? Yeah? We could do that, like
she I don't think she realizes that's a sentence no
wife has ever said. Yeah, we put one hundred dollars
into tomb Raider and for forty five minutes until we
got like carpool tunnel syndrome. We were leaving there doing

(39:04):
gang signs. Oh that's beautiful, man, it was crazy. And
then last night we went to an escape room like
it's so fun Wow, I can tell. And this morning
she goes, it's so weird to think of us, either
one of us married to anybody else, because she's really silly. Yeah, Like,
she's funny, and we both talked shit when we watch TV,

(39:24):
Like I'm a big I'm a big shit talker when
I watch TV. So it's the idea of either one
of us with anyone else is absurd. We're perfect for
each other, yeah, right, you watch Naked and Afraid. I
don't know that show. Yeah, I'm sorry, get you get
butt naked, they drop you off in the rainforest. Good

(39:46):
luck twenty one days you watch it. You can bring
one thing with you, like you can bring an axe,
somebody will bring a fire starter or and Jeanie goes,
what would you bring if you were on Naked and Afraid?
I was like, pants, I bring pants, but I talk shit?
Is the point. This guy was starving on this show starving,

(40:07):
and the porcupine ambles through his camp and he smashes
it over the head with a rock and he's cooking
it and I'm sitting on my couch with an ice
cream sandwich. I'm like, that's not even how you make perky.
But guy's an idiot. So we get down so I
don't even know we're talking about Genie and uh intervention

(40:28):
and oh I so yeah, she trusts me now she
knows I'm the man I've always wanted to become. And
I'm the man she didn't know what could become. But
I've learned this four and a half years. Sobriety, when
I'm alone at night, I'm not that man. I'm still
like that scared little guy. Yeah, I'm a big raw
rock guy. Fuck yeah, let's go. But when there's no

(40:48):
one around to fire up. I haven't been that for me,
Like that guy that's afraid to get on the plane,
that guy that wakes up feels like he's in trouble
for no reason. Right. And my therapist is like, well,
the five year old you if you met you, and
I just started crying like, oh, I would have loved
to have met me, Like what a fucking dream that
would have been? This guy, that guy? Yeah right, and

(41:10):
you know she's like, hello, wow, Yeah, so I spent
four years clearing everything off my table with the steps
to learn, my tables made entirely of fear. Oh interesting,
Now we get to work. What I've heard guys say
is the second surrender. Yeah beautiful. Talk more about that

(41:32):
Jay place, and talk more about ruthless self examination. Why
it's so important alto has to be ruthless. That's kind
of weird, kind of like brutally honest, Like yeah, all right, well, ruthless,
thorough what's the word you want to use? Thorough though?
You're either full of shit or you ain't. You're either
full of shit or you ain't. I hate when I
go to meetings and I hear somebody say, how free

(41:55):
do you want to be? Right? Because I got news
for you. There's only one free. There's not levels to free.
It's not a volume nub. You're either free or you're not.
And only you know, only you know when you're alone,
that you're free. I'm not quite free because the plain
thing is eating me up. I can't. I can't be
there for others the way I would like to be.
It's not about making money. My niece got married in Jersey,

(42:18):
all right, Wow, I'll send the check. I guess you know.
That's not the same as being there. That's what's eating
me now. The examination part used to be, yeah, I'm good,
they're fucked. If everybody would just act a little differently,
I'd be even better. And I've learned my Indian name
is blames, others blame. When I came in, everybody and

(42:39):
then I learned that all of our problems of our
own making was very relieving to me. CIN know, because
if all my problems are of my own making, that
means I always have a solution, right, it's my approach. Specifically,
what was the question about the ruthless self examination.

Speaker 2 (42:55):
Now you just talking about something focusing on, you know,
cleaning your side of the street. You know why that's
the most important.

Speaker 1 (43:02):
Yeah, well, I think cleaning your side of the street
is a lot easier if you're an approval addict, because
I want you to like me, and I'm gonna sweep
real good. Not a people pleaser, there's a difference. You're
not a people I told a sponsor this two days
ago at my house, make me a list of all
the people pleased with you right now, and he just goes.

(43:23):
I go, You're not a people pleaser. You're just like me.
You're a validation addict. It's like, bro, you're eight days
off fentanyl. Show me the amount of people thrilled with you.
Right the fuck out of here. You're a validation addict,
just like me. If you don't like me, I'm not
sure how to act. You're probably a referee as a
little kid in your own house. Yeah right, I was

(43:43):
excited to get to work on the steps. I was
going to get my sponsors. If you want to, if
you're really a people pleaser, please your sponsor right. Blow
is fucking mind with how awesome you are? I really
thought I was going to blow my sponsor's mind what
a great pupil I was, and I took so many commitments.

(44:05):
He would tell me too, But I would go like
Theolano Club and I would sweep that fucking place out.
I brought my vacuum cleaner from home because I'm an alcoholic.
I didn't check to see that they actually have one
on the second floor in the closet. And I'm in
there doing all this work. But that wasn't any magnanimous
part of me. I knew my sponsor was going to
come in with like a Wayne Butler or some other

(44:25):
old timer, and they were gonna see me sweeping, and
they were gonna say, thank God, he's in the program.
The program's in good hands because you got here. Yeah.
But all those activities trying to get my sponsor's approval,
The magic trick is I got my own approval. I
started liking the way I was rolling. I did visit

(44:46):
that guy in the hospital, and then he did share
it in a meeting and I sat there like, oh yeah,
oh yeah, But I because I had forgotten I did it.
I did do that without being asked. I did show
up for that person. I did write a letter for
a guy going to court. I did speak in a prison.
I spoke in a prison. I spoken like that's my jam.

(45:06):
And then you just you like the way you roll.
Then you become like impervious to other people's opinion opinions
of you, because you're just rolling a certain way, the
best way I think I came across this this year.
The only thing you can do about other people's opinions
of you is live your life a certain way where
when someone bad mouths you, whoever, that person no longer

(45:28):
trusts the bad mouth right on. Like I was at Sino,
you know, fucking Sino, and the person goes yeah, and
they go away, going Jesus Christ, what's for that? Fucking guys?
Bad mouths and Sino? If somebody came to you today,
I'm confident if somebody came up to you today and went, jaymore, bro,
I don't know your fir. I know I've known you

(45:48):
a half hour, right, your first response is what not
feeling that? Brother? Right? Right? That's it, you got it?
And then that person goes in more you just go eh,
that's all you can do? Yeah, right on? Could you
define your higher power? No? It works silence. It works,

(46:10):
that quiet, was it? No One taught me to look
up when I was a little kid. Timing is always perfect,
very slow moving and patient. I don't know, I can't.
But when we weren't talking, just the sound of the
cars and the ambient noise. Yeah, that's the best I

(46:30):
could do. Yeah, right on, well done. Man. Do you
wake up in the morning, brother, is your head loud?
Or do you wake up more with more curiosity? Wonder? Man?
I wake up pretty fired up. I'm lucky. I'm lucky.
I wake up and I say good morning. God is
the first thing I do, rightnees, gratitude, list, bring a
little something, But I don't retain anything in the morning.
Like I'm a little low gods, as we say in

(46:51):
New Jersey. Yeah, if I meditate in the morning, I
go right to sleep. So I'm like, get up at six,
meditator on nine point thirty. Do it when you do it? Yeah,
I've gotten a lot better. I like it. But sitting
still with myself seems to be It's it's funny how
you can tell you eh, you say you don't have

(47:12):
time for it, which I know is not ever true.
To sit quietly with myself or show God, I can
sit like a good boy for ten minutes. I always lie.
I do it before my podcast and I see ridiculous
difference in how I am across from someone, and why
don't you do it every day? Just hasn't hit the
routine yet. Yeah, yeah, but you know the most My

(47:33):
favorite word in the eleventh step is and got it?
And I got that from a Richard Rhorr. Yeah he
named his He named this place something very long. And
they go, what's more important this or this or this?
He goes, No, the most important is the and like
prayer and meditation. You're a sober dad now, yeah with

(47:56):
a sober kid? Yeah, what's that been? Like? Well, we
need to speak for five years. Wow, as a result
of my behavior, I told him, because I love drugs
more than I love my kids. There you go, wow, Man,
if I need them, you can wait here and I'll
be back when I'm back because I got to get

(48:18):
those drugs. And that bitch is a fucking diamond bar
and it's rush hour and I got to get it.

Speaker 2 (48:26):
I'll see you later, h Yeah, but I got can't
make practice, say sorry, so practice birthdays it don't matter.

Speaker 1 (48:33):
I told my son, I only have one son at
one point because he was in the way of that
get down and when you go to your mom's you
stay there. And he listened to me, I don't know
where my son went. I do now, but I didn't
know where my son went to high school. And when
I got sober, that was my one outstanding amends. I

(48:54):
keep realizing my third step is never as good as
I think it is. It's a total paper tiger all
the time time my my my faith is always good.
My belief not so much always, and I always want
things on my time, Like, yeah, I turned my will
in my life over to the care of God. But
I've been sober three years. Where's my fucking kid? Now?

(49:14):
This is bullshit? Doesn't he know that his dad's But
see how my hands got like this, like everything got
sped up, And uh, I realized it was it was
a problem my I was getting resentful that I wasn't
getting my son back and texting and not getting responses.

(49:36):
And I was talking with a buddy of mine, Sully,
another busting good.

Speaker 2 (49:40):
I know, syrother Man, He's in my starting rotation.

Speaker 1 (49:45):
He's my best best I said, Sully. Uh, I'm starting
to think The only way we'll ever get our sons
back is if they become drug addicts. They go to AA,
they get a sponsor like me or you that tells
him to pull his out of his ass and to
call his fucking father, And two days later, that's exactly
what happened. It was a Sunday, it was four thirty

(50:07):
in the afternoon. I looked at my phone. Five years nothing.
I looked at my phone and said, Hi, Dad, it's blank.
I want you to know I love you on First
of all, I want you to know I love you
un conditionally. Second of all, I want you to know
I'm a drug addict and I'm at the part of
my recovery where i make amends to the people I've
hurt and I would like to. I would like the
opportunity to make amends to you. If you don't want

(50:29):
to see me, I'll understand, but please know that the
offer is always there. Wow. And how long were you sober? Then?
Three and a half years? And I knew in that text.
I knew why he never got back to me, because,
just like me, drugs are paramount importance to him. I

(50:50):
knew that my son was safe. I knew that Not
only was he in the program, but the text was
so perfectly written. I knew we had a great spot, Sir,
and I knew the war was over. And I called
him and we spoke, and I agreed to pick him

(51:13):
up when he came home from college. And he seemed
flabbergasted that I would be of that much service to
drive to Lax and pick him up at nine at night.
My sponsor went through the exact same. One of the
oddest price, one of my higher power is my sponsor's son,

(51:36):
who he didn't speak to for ten years, which I
knew none of this when I asked him to be
my sponsor. This lunatic Harley Davidson, cowboy hat wearing, fucking
toddler of a man, your cowboy Dan, who looks like
Yosemite Sam and screams everything he says. He didn't speak
to his son for ten years, and then his son
got a job speaking English, teaching English and China. So

(51:58):
when my sponsor had to make amends to his son,
he had to fly to China. Fuck. I had to
go three point seven miles up Lincoln Boulevard right to Lax,
and my son and I recognized each other's silhouettes through
the frosted glass at baggage claim silhouette. I went, there's
my guy, and he said, I knew that was you.

(52:19):
And we flipped a coin to see who made amends first.
And I FaceTime with him this morning. He's in college.
I'm not going to say where on the podcast. Yeah,
he's the smartest person I know. I had already done
step work. I put letters in the mail to his
stepfather thanking him for raising a great kid, and meant it.

(52:40):
I sent my eighteen month coin in the mail to
his mom and his stepdad, just so you guys know
this is what I'm doing. This is my coin, this
is my home group. Thank you. Yeah wow. But like
once you push the boat out in the lake, you
gotta like, oh, are you gonna fall in right on?
Like where did the wise? That's exactly right. Did he

(53:01):
get back to you? Doesn't matter. That's exactly right. I
did it, that's right. And he's just got two years
sober get down. So he just picked up a new sponsor,
he told me this morning. Because there's a guy in
my home group that bugs the shit out of me
every time I'm there. I'm like, oh, this guy and

(53:22):
then that guy asked him to sponsor him. Yeah, he
just laughed and he said, well played God. Yeah. Look
that's what I always say, Well played God, Well played God.
God's just doing donuts on the street right now, right on, man. Yeah, wow,
my family's together. I'm sober. I'm in the middle middle,

(53:42):
Like there's the middle, then there's the bulls eyes, and
there's the middle of the bulls eye. I don't need anything. Yeah, man,
this is fantasy time. The chase is out of me. Yeah,
I believe you. But we're doing some rapid fire. Take
your time, okay, just have some fun. Yeah, we need
some rapid fire and take your time.

Speaker 2 (54:04):
Yeah, or take your time because some of the might
be Lord Michaels amazing.

Speaker 1 (54:08):
What an absolute underrated underrated Yeah yeah, impossible to be
that successful that long. And you and I both know
in show business impossible, possible in decade after decade after decade,
political climate.

Speaker 2 (54:25):
This that funniest person you've ever shared a green room with,
Chris Rock, Oh, sketchy, wish you had made it to
the air.

Speaker 1 (54:35):
I did a weekend update piece where I was a
gay movie reviewer critic fuck and I sang all my
reviews The way I rated movies was by going yeah,
and there was a yawn meter. Uh huh. But everything
was a show tune like missus doubtfire, Hey, little girl,
is your daddy Homer?

Speaker 3 (54:55):
Did he dress up like a woman from an old
folks home? Missus doubt fire? Yeah? His name is Costner?
Who's Kevin Costner? He kidnaps the boy, Clint Eastwood tracks
him down. I thought this movie, I thought I was
in heaven. I give it a seventh. It's ridiculous.

Speaker 2 (55:15):
Oh my god, that's like it's just too gay. Yeah yeah,
paul In on Fire. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (55:22):
Lance Cruthers, the gay movie critic, Yeah, that was that
was fun. See yeah, I got it to dress and
they cut it. What's harder? Man? Bombing in a in
a club or bombing at the SNL table read our
club by first? Yeah, table read is a table read?
No big whoops? Yeah, but you know how you avoid

(55:44):
bombing at a table read? Or the cheat is I've
learned this pretty quickly. I would tell all my jokes
in the pitch so the person would be excited to
do it with me. So then when you do the
table read, they've heard all the jokes, so you get
guys like Kevin Neal and Davids. They're like, now you know,
I'm working on I'll talk to you about it later. And
the table reading is just this new, great mystery. What

(56:07):
was your oh my god on myn SNL moment. It
was a Thursday. I was in the writer's room and
on the live feed I could see Nirvana was rehearsing,
and I went downstairs to studio eight h There was
maybe eight people in the studio and I sat from me.
I stood from me to you from Kurt Cobain screaming

(56:28):
rate me at the top of his lungs with nobody there.
And I also realized there's some rock stars they're just
they don't know how to rehearse. It was there's one
way to do it. He was screaming, and Dave grow
just fucked up. There was no this is this is
how this goes? Yeah, there was no like you know.

(56:50):
Then I go rd me. It was a visceral, tortured
animal on stage, and I went, this is a good gig. Wow.
And then two weeks after that same thing, standing from
me to you from Steve Perry's airbox in the beginning
of Sweet Emotion made me cry bitter. I I had

(57:12):
no idea how much that fucking song because Aerosmith, I'm like, whatever, yeah,
but that air that airbox about and I was like,
oh my god, Like the back of my neck hair
stood up, and I was like, Wow, George Carlin, greatest
of all time. God, God, he's got first thought. When

(57:35):
you got to call your bob sugar confusion. It's like
when I got SNL. It's it's not yes, it's what
the fuck wow, it's it's it's almost like watching a
school bus of children go into a lake without without
the grief the same like wait what like what no?

(57:58):
Not not feeling unword not that just it just doesn't compute.
Tom Cruise, the greatest, the greatest man, Like he's so great,
Thank God I worked with him. What makes him so great?
He's present, he's there. He made time for me. You know.
It's a lot like recovery. The greatest thing the guys

(58:20):
that I work with have ever done for me is
they just simply made time for me and for that
scared little boy. That's that's the whole thing. Oh wow.
And then you get sponsees and you make time for
them and you watch their lives go up and you
see what you mean to You're like, They're like, you'll
never know what you mean to me. You're like, no,

(58:41):
I do know, because I know what he means to me.
Like Kevin m McLoughlin, Like, of all the guys from
the one rehab to the second rehab, my family hired
a sober companion, have all the men on earth, it
was Kevin McLoughlin. Oh no shit, Ray Bands, James perce Sure, Mercedes,
Bluetooth is hooked up. Everyone's calling him, how come you're

(59:04):
not playing golf? Of this to say, I'm working with
a buddy. Are you surfing tomorrow? Nah? And I was like,
this guy seems like his life is fucking swinging. Yeah,
check me, and re flew with me, check me in
a rehab, and then came back the next day to
make sure I was okay. Yeah, that's all I've ever wanted. Yeah,
right on. I put walls and barriers up, and then

(59:27):
I get it that I don't tell you about, and
then I get a resentment that you didn't break them
down and come save me. Here comes Captain, Here comes Cat,
one of my best friends. Yeah, he's a special cut out.
Thirty six year history with that brother man, been there
with him? He went to plant?

Speaker 2 (59:42):
Yeah yeah, was that new comic every one should be
watching right now.

Speaker 1 (59:46):
He's not new. But Joe List makes me crazy. Yeah yeah,
he goes do you. I don't want to say a
joke on camera because people accuse me of stealing again.

Speaker 2 (59:58):
Okay, I will get it, Joe List Picasso, There you go.
Biggest mistake on comics make in twenty five.

Speaker 1 (01:00:06):
Crowd work? Oh wow, best show for you to do?
Comedy best city? I'm sorry? What? Benver? Where? Denver? Why?
I don't know. It's the greatest comedy club in the world.
There's two of them too, comedy works. It's just it's
not real. It's crazy. Favorite liquor of all time? Oh beer? Who?

(01:00:28):
Favorite liquor laker Byron Scott? Wow? Why asu? He averaged
sixteen morning side? Hi fucking Isu. He averaged sixteen points
a night. But he was on a team with Magic
Worthy in Kareem. The only way he got a shot

(01:00:50):
is if the bus crashed and he still has sixteen,
Like that's in. How do you get sixteen points with
those three shooting the ball?

Speaker 2 (01:00:57):
What's a better hike? Crushing on stage or court side
of game seven.

Speaker 1 (01:01:02):
I've never been court side of game seven. Never. Fuck really?
You see your girl then hook? Yeah, they didn't have
a game seven. Maybe a game five. Hi, but that's
not a high. That's torture, right, it is. I have
to remind myself in the playoffs. This doesn't affect the

(01:01:24):
grand scheme of my life. I'm in knots. I don't.
If I was an NBA head coach, I'd be thrown
out every night for screaming at reps. Right, you motherfucker?
What that fun? Like? I go knots, Like There's been
times where I screamed, and like I should sit back
down and be quiet. Who talks more trash comics or
NBA players? Oh? Comics?

Speaker 2 (01:01:45):
Yeah, by far right, it's the best, huh. And we're
so much better at it. What's What's one thing about
your wife people would be surprised by.

Speaker 1 (01:01:55):
She's very silly. She's hilarious. Yeah, she's really silly. It's funny,
she's real, like funny, like how you and your buddy
are funny in like sixth grade, like goofy, stupid. One
habit that keeps your recovery solid. One, it's a recipe
it's a whole thing morning routine. What does your higher

(01:02:15):
power feel like today?

Speaker 2 (01:02:16):
In one sentence, still stillness. Best advice you ever got
in the locker room, green room, or a meeting.

Speaker 1 (01:02:25):
Get a home group. Otherwise you won't know when you're
drifting from home. Every day. I get to God before
my mind gets to me. Helen Gutman. The first one
was Wayne Butler. Yeah, green room, locker room. I was
a wrestler, so my locker rooms were just guys fucking
hurling into trash cans in their underwear. So hot, you know,

(01:02:51):
Wayne Butler?

Speaker 2 (01:02:52):
Yeah, I went very well, he's my first hero. Yeah,
in AA, we're go on them on the show. Oh good,
Wayne Butler, he was very important. Still is I'm outside
the Lano Club and I said, you know what, it's amazing.
I was six months sober. I said, if you showed me,
I just started doing gigs, but for like money, like

(01:03:15):
come do the show for six grand like money? Like good,
my wife, everything's I go. You know, Wanne, if you
showed me how fast I'd have gotten my life back sober,
I'm not sure I would have taken recovery that seriously.

Speaker 1 (01:03:29):
Meaning I thought it was just over over, and I
was gonna have to bail water for decades to get
to normal. I said, if you showed me how fast
I got my life back, I don't think I would
have taken rehab seriously. And he goes, where was your
first AA meeting? I said ninety six? He goes, wasn't
that fast? Was it? Boa? All right? Wow? Can you

(01:03:53):
indulge me? Give me a little?

Speaker 2 (01:03:56):
Sean Penn at the Oscars doing his acceptance. I don't
care how man you This is gonna be too loud.
I don't care how man you are at me. That's
got half his man, his daddy's gonna be at us.

Speaker 1 (01:04:07):
You're gonna give.

Speaker 3 (01:04:08):
Me the fucking oscar, and I'm supposed to decide out
of the fucking blue to accept it.

Speaker 1 (01:04:16):
Why don't you tell me what really happened? That was
all right? I can do better. But it's too loud.
He surprised me. You can do It's good man, that's good.
The oscar you just gave me. I don't know what
to say to him. I just know the Reservoir Dog stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:04:33):
Song that always changed your mood for the better. Candy's
Room Springsteen, all right?

Speaker 1 (01:04:40):
Two more, Three things you absolutely need on the road,
a nap, my toiletry bag and water are Oh television television,
Oh fucking life of a television kill me all right?
Last one? Chris Walking at his first meeting. Yeah, I

(01:05:00):
realized I was powerless over people, places and things. My
life so manageable, so I gave up, got a sponsor,
started working the steps. Here's my sponsor, al Pacino. Yeah.
When do you put pen in the paper? There is

(01:05:23):
no chapter inter thinking, it's into action. The fuck you
called me for three in the morning. You have a
disease A centers in your fucking mind. Who are just

(01:05:45):
do all those guys that be Oh? Fuck brother god.
I realized my life was unmanageable when I was having
sex with Portuguese girls. I'm Chris. Yeah, I got them
pregnant with my new wheelchair globes. They say it's outside issue,
but it makes me feel funny on the inside. Hey man,
thank you, sir. I'm glad we're boys.

Speaker 2 (01:06:05):
Now you're what. I'm glad we're boys. Yeah, I know
how to say Sino. Yeah, you got it. The Sino
Show is a production of iHeart Podcasts hosted by me
Cina McFarlane, produced by pod People and twenty eighth av
Our lead producer is Keith Carlick, Our executive producer is
Lindcy Hoffman, Marketing lead is Ashley Weaver.

Speaker 1 (01:06:26):
Thank you so much for listening. We'll see you next week.