March 19, 2025 • 28 mins
In this solo episode, Maya takes us on a hilarious yet oddly profound journey through the weirdest corners of her brain. She explores the chaos of the mind with her signature mix of wit and wisdom. Along the way, she shares how she’s finding her way back to herself—one questionable decision and deep breath at a time. Tune in for laughs, self-reflection, and maybe a few “Wait, I thought I was the only one who did that?!” moments.
Maya Murillo and Curly Velásquez are the hosts of the Super Secret Bestie Club with production support by Karina Riveroll of Sonoro Media in partnership with iHeart Radio's My Cultura Podcast network. If you want to support the podcast, please rate and review our show!
Follow Maya Murillo on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok @mayainthemoment
Follow Curly Velásquez on Instagram and TikTok @thecurlyvshow and on Twitter @CurlyVee
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, Curly. Oh no, I'm in this stork cave alone.
I'm Spirally. Who am I? What's the point? Okay, I
guess so just given to the darkness. No, wait, what
(00:20):
who's that? It's me? You're higher south. Here, take my hand,
I'll pull you out. Get in here. My name is
Curly and I'm Maya and welcome to the super Secret
Psty Clouds Podcast. A super secret club where we talk
about super secret things. Yeah, like secrets that are super
(00:44):
That's what it is. In each episode, we'll talk about love, friendship, heartbreaks, men,
and of course our favorite secrets. Get in here. Hello, everybody.
Curly is still out of time. He's on vacation. We
hope he's having all the fun in the world. He's
actually in Hawaii, which is like I wish I was there.
(01:08):
So listen, we're just gonna get right to it because
I just wanted to have a solo bestie date with you,
just me and you just us. Maybe we're like riding
in the car, or maybe we're like having breakfast or
dinner or brunch, or maybe we're on our like fourth
picture at Bottomless Mimosa's Drag Brunch. That's where we're at
(01:31):
right now, that moment where it's like, girl, you're just
so pretty and you're just so nice. That's the energy
I'm trying to give today. Okay, so lock in a little.
Birdie told me that sometimes you forget who you are.
Sometimes I forget who I am. You know, maybe work
makes you feel like you have no control or like
(01:53):
loneliness creeps in because your friend from high school got
engaged and married and had a baby all with him
one year and you have barely decided to re download
your dating apps. So relatable, not based on actual experience,
but relatable, and your doom scrolling thinking what the f
(02:13):
another Ash Travino video, Girl, Get those girls some beds,
buy your children some begs. Oh I was gonna say bedbugs,
and I said begs because she has bedbugs. Anyway, Okay,
I'm here to ground you and bring you back to center.
From someone who has been through it and back and
(02:34):
has dragged herself out multiple times and will continue to
drag myself out. I'm here to remind you of who
you are because let's be real, if you're listening to
this podcast right now, you are already a certified batty
queen girl. So congratulations to you. You should be very
happy for yourself. Pat yourself on the back. Thank you. Okay,
(02:56):
So this episode is for you to if you're ever
feel like lost and you need to find a way
back to yourself. Here are some things that I do
to find my way back to myself. And this is
from experience. I just had a moment, like a couple
weeks ago, actually last week we could go today, where
(03:17):
I was just like, should I quit? What is going
on in this world? What is happening? Are we in
the upside down? Should I just? Like? What? Like? Is
this Handmaid's tail? Like? What? Anyway, So let's first address
maybe some of the thoughts you have in your head
(03:38):
that make you feel a little lost. I know for me,
I always get like, why should I pursue X, Y
and Z when there's people already doing it better, They're younger,
they're prettier, they're funnier. You know, it goes down the
line I'm a failure, I'm not funny, I'm alone, or
any other statements. Think of the statements that you tell yourself,
(04:00):
the narrative that you tell yourself. For me, I think
of these thoughts as just thoughts like they're just little
clouds and they're orbiting around me, but they don't stick
to me. And they're clouds so like they can dissipate
at any time with the snap of a finger. They're
not gonna hold any weight to me unless I allow it,
(04:22):
because I always have a protection bubble around me. That
is the only thing that's allowed in that protection bubble
is me. It's not my mom, it's not my parents,
it's not my closest closest friend. It is me, and
love and light and grace for myself and silly goofy
(04:45):
things that only serve for the highest good, for the
purpose of my highest highest good. So I'm not gonna
let these statements, you know, that are not based on
fact trip me up, you know, even though they have.
I was tripping last week, tripping all over all over
(05:07):
the place, and I wasn't even wearing shoes to you know,
like to trip on anyway. So here are some questions
that I asked myself, what are the purpose of these statements,
like what are what what what are they serving? They're
not serving much if you're Prima, if you're bestie or
(05:27):
anyone around you, or to say these things about themselves.
Would you say, yeah, you know why you are ugly? No,
you wouldn't like, uh, unless it was a hater cousin,
then go ahead. No, no, no, But basically you wouldn't
say these things. You wouldn't allow these things to be
said to your younger self or your like your little
(05:50):
nephew or niece. Like you have to start treating these
thoughts as like, uh, they're not gonna stick, They're not
going to infiltrate, because the deal is like this is
a self saboteur. These self saboteurs will say things to
try to protect us from getting hurt, from getting embarrassed.
(06:13):
They're like a defense mechanism, and and you know it's
they're kind of innocent. They're like our inner child being
like we don't want to be embarrassed right now, or
like yeah, I'm not going to try to do this
new thing or I'm not gonna you know, wear this
new thing or whatever, because I don't want to be
made fun of. I don't want to be looked at weird.
(06:34):
I'm just protecting you, So I'm giving you these thoughts
to limit the amount of hurt that we might get.
So chat JBT told me that the human brain has
a negativity bias, meaning it naturally holds on to negative
thoughts more than positive ones. And this is not because
you're failing at self love. It's literally biology trying to
(06:57):
keep you safe, which makes sense, like I understand, but
it's kind of like anxiety and inside out to no spoilers,
but there was literally a moment where she was spiraling
because of these thoughts, and guess who brought her out
joy Batty checkpoint. Okay, let's just pause for a second.
Are we hydrated, Let's just drink some water, fill up
(07:20):
your cup, unclench your jaw, Let's take a deep breath in,
end out, center ourselves. And if you're cleaning right now,
you're doing a great job. If you're driving right now,
good job being safe, and good job listening to this podcast.
Oh and unclench your booty cheeks. Very important. Now that
(07:41):
we've addressed the thoughts, let's redirect this energy. So now
that we kind of got through the sticky iky and
the sweet ooey ouey that's from a song and I
didn't know that that song was talking about marijuana anyway,
Here is my magical Battye elixir. Elixir elixir. This is
(08:08):
something that I use when I have gone through the
ickiness of uugh, I'm feeling like shit, life is weird. Whatever. Okay,
these thoughts aren't true clean slate. I've done and energetically
say Jean myself, this is what I do. I create
(08:28):
a batty playlist. I know we all have one, but
make another one that is even more potent and intentional.
If there's any spiritual girls out there, any Woolloo girls,
any witchy pooh girls, You're gonna need to treat this
like a spell, like an exercise that is just potent,
dedicated for you. So a literal playlist on your platform
(08:52):
music platform of choice. Pick songs that make you feel like,
you know what, Hell yeah. A song that makes you
literally want to shake your body, because shaking your body
releases tension and it kind of resets everything. A song
(09:25):
that makes you want to jump on your bed like
you're twelve years old. A song that makes you feel
like you're about to quit your job and move to Paris.
And then maybe a song that makes you feel like
Elle Woods you know, or Selena or something something that's like, ooh,
let's just click into our super divine feminine goddess mode,
like these songs that just make this just ooze that energy,
(09:47):
so we can remind ourselves literally, we are so magical
as people, as women, as queer people, as like humans,
we are magical. Like, let's remember our magic again. And
number two is a dress party of one. Put on
(10:07):
that outfit that if you saw in my recent post
where I'm dressed, I dressed up in like this orange
and pink dress. I did that video because I was
following my magical Batty elixir. Okay, I was dancing around
my room to my batty playlist, and I was wearing
an outfit that I would wear if I were to
(10:32):
see my ops. Yeah, because I got some ops and
they're probably watching right now. I'm just kidding. I honestly
don't know if I have any but you know, hypothetical
metaphorical spiritually like that type of thing where like you're
in an early two thousands movie and you see a
(10:52):
girl and there's a dance battle. You want to look
fly as fuck in that dance battle. Girl, So put
on that dress right now in this moment in your
living room, nobody else around. And the third thing is
dancing shaking ass is proven to be an ancient healing technique. Okay,
to shake off the maleojo. It's proven, it's true. Look
(11:16):
it up when you're in fight or flight mode or
your body is wired to look for danger. Like you know, before,
we were having all those thoughts, including perceived threats like
rejection or failure. Learning how to calm down your nervous
system by breathing movement music makes self love way easier.
(11:37):
So what we're doing now is calming down, recalibrating our
nervous system. And number four is affirmations. We all know affirmations.
I feel like it's come. It's been a little like
a little cliche, a little maybe tired or played out.
But my thing is is I create affirmations for my
(12:00):
spell for myself as a spell, and I think that's
what we need to start doing, like self love spells,
creating your own affirmations, taking some affirmations that are still
tried and true. So basically, the words you repeat to
yourself literally create neural pathways in your brain. We had
(12:21):
a neural pathway scientists on the podcast earlier, and scientists
call this neural plasticity, meaning your brain adapts to what
it hears most often, no one ever hated themselves into
a better life. I don't want to do that. I
knew somebody who hated themselves, hated their body and did
(12:41):
everything they could to lose weight, everything they could to
be prettier, like all this stuff, and guess what they
got there, and they still hated themselves. Like, I'm sorry,
I just can't do all that work. I can't. It's
a lot. So create your own affirmations that become your
own self love spell, maybe some light meditation music here.
(13:01):
Here are some affirmations I say to redirect the energy.
Everything always works out for me, because that's my reality period.
These feelings are temporary. I am enough. I love you me,
I love me you, I love me, love you. Whatever
(13:23):
is meant for me will find me. I choose me.
Money loves me. It can't wait to be with me.
Money's obsessed with me. It always wants to be with
me all the time. I'm like, oh, okay, I guess
so yeah, I trust myself. I can do anything. And
I will use these in a song. I will use
(13:45):
these as I'm just talking in my head. Because you
don't want to just use these when you are feeling low,
because I feel like it's a little harder for it
to actually penetrate and seep in. You want to do
the You want to do these basically every day because
it's a practice. And number five, call a friend, go
(14:09):
outside and touch grass, as they say, get some sun,
some breathe, some fresh air, connect with nature, feel the
earth and the grass beneath your feet, and know that
everything's gonna be okay. You have always been that girl.
You are that girl. You're carrying. You're loving and compassionate,
(14:31):
You're beautiful, You're sexy girl, You're iconic. And lastly, I
wanted to talk about radical self love, confidence and believing
in yourself. Here is like when we do all this
stuff and we're kind of like it's kind of like skincare,
(14:51):
you know, like we're washing our face, we're putting on
our creams, we're doing our toners or cleansers, whatever. These
are the steps. This last step is so crucial. Maybe
this is the drinking water step of the mind. You
have to believe in yourself. You have to trust in
(15:11):
yourself radically. Delusionally is that a word, delusionally And delusion
doesn't mean I'm dumb, Like you know, there's some people
are delusional. Astravino, that bitch is delusional. Sorry, but like
the delusional we're talking about is the kind of delusion
that it's like despite all odds, despite everything that's trying
(15:35):
to tell me to change myself, to lose weight, to
fix this, and that I'm gonna love myself right now?
How about that? How about that? And what about it?
You know that is radical. So the term radical self
love comes from activists and poets Sonya Renee Taylor, who
(15:57):
wrote The Body Is Not An Apology. She says self
love must be unconditional and exist outside of societal standards.
A lot of this stuff comes from societal standards. If
we go back to the beginning of this episode, a
lot of the stuff that we were saying, I'm not this,
I'm not that, I'm not blah blah blah, all of
(16:18):
those things are making you seem like you are lacking
things because you're comparing yourself to other people instead of
looking inside and accepting and loving what you already have
that is already magical and beautiful and great. Just because
we see somebody else doing it in a way that
maybe we would like to do it doesn't mean that
(16:40):
we are any less and that's the thing that we
need to sink in. And really, I wish I could
tattoo that in my brain. Your mama just lack a
sattoo I Lolways have you shout out Jordan's sparks my girl? Oh? Okay?
Radical self love is revolutionary because it says I am worthy,
(17:02):
not because of what I do, how I look, or
what I achieve, just because I simply exist. Radical love
is not about fixing yourself. It's about unlearning the belief
that you were ever broken in the first place. I'm
about to cry? Is anyone crying? Self love isn't a
(17:25):
reward for being productive or hitting a goal. You don't
need to earn the right to love yourself. You already
have it. We were born loved, We were born with love.
We were born love period. Like if you believe in God,
if you believe in anything, if you don't at least
believe in yourself, girl, you know? And confidence is I
(17:49):
hear a lot of people whenever I post my body, especially,
they say thank you for helping me be confident in
my own body, or I love your confidence. And there's
a little tiny sliver of that. I'm like, what do
you actually mean by that? Is it because I'm in
a bigger body, I'm curvier, I'm chunkier, and you have
that same body, So you see the representation of that
(18:12):
and that makes you feel better. That is amazing and
I love that, and I think it's something that people
think is inaccessible to them because of all of these
societal standards capitalism. But research shows that confidence isn't something
(18:45):
you're born with. It's something that is built through action.
Each time you do something outside of your comfort zone,
your brain literally creates new neural pathways that make confidence
easier next time. It's just like any habit. It's like
a muscle. Confidence isn't genetic. No baby is born thinking
oh my thighs are too big. It's all learned and
(19:07):
it can be unlearned. So those are things we have
to catch and see, like where did this come from?
Who said this? Who sent this into my brain? Oh?
This was something I heard from mytheas you know, when
I was little, I used to hear like once be careful,
maya once on the hips forever or once on the
lips forever on the hips, And that fucked me up
(19:29):
my entire life because it made me self conscious of
everything that I ate was going to make my body larger,
which is fucked up because we eat to nourish ourselves
and do we eat for comfort? Sometimes? How fucking yeah?
Do I eat when I'm sad? Sometimes? How fucking yeah?
Do I eat when I'm mad? Sometimes? Yes? I do? Yes,
(19:52):
I do. And that's another thing, because that's emotional eating.
But what I'm saying is that it drove me into
this way of monitoring what I was eating at a
young age, at like eight years old, that's too young
to be thinking that. All my life, I was like,
(20:12):
I have big thighs. I have big thighs. I have
big thyes, because I didn't see the representation of other
people having my body type. So believing in yourself. The
most successful, confident people aren't born with self trust. They
build it over time, every time you make a choice,
follow your gut, or try something new to strengthen this muscle.
(20:33):
Beyonce wasn't in the womb like I'm that girl. She
became that girl by choosing it and believing it, and
so do you because we see other people doing it right,
and it's not something that again people are born with.
It's a practice and there's many things in our lives
that we have done as a practice and we succeeded
(20:55):
at this one feels like a little bit of a
boss level, right, And I mean believing in yourself and
accepting yourself radical self love in all of it. It
doesn't mean just your body or your weight. It means
the way you talk, the way you think, the way
you view things. Really having that and you need that
in order to like accomplish your dreams, right or just
to be a better person for society in general. So
(21:19):
bottom line, you will not wake up one day and
just arrive at self love like you. Nobody will ever
be completely healed, even if we want to get a
little woo woo. People who have crossed over, they are
still learning. Like I know my grandparents who are crossed
over are helping me now with my own journey and
(21:41):
they're learning on how to like angels and stuff like
That's I know. It's super woo woo. And I need
to stop being insecure about being spiritual. That's the thing
I clocked on myself. Boop, See this is working, so
you won't. It's a daily practice, like I said, like
brushing your teeth. Some days it's easy. Some days it's work,
but every bit of effort adds up over time. Think
(22:03):
of self love like skincare. One day of moisturizer won't
change your life, but doing it every day is the point.
That is something that again I will keep saying, is
a practice. So every single day it has to be
a non negotiable where you have a five minute, like
start two minutes, five minutes looking in the mirror, trying
(22:25):
out these self love self care things that make you
feel like it like it's working, because it's not one
size fits all, Okay, Like I know a lot of
people say look in the mirror and tell yourself I
love you. I literally go, I love you, I love you,
I love you like it changes over time. But what
I have found is my greatest self love is dancing
(22:46):
my ass off, you know, putting on an outfit or
doing something that is not servicing me, doing something that
but it's it's just a practice. Welcome to the astrology
portion of the podcast. So in last week's episode, we
(23:07):
touched on the North Node, and I know in other
episodes I've touched on it a little bit, but I really,
I mean, among everything in astrology, it is huge. It
is a chart that is your entire life and your
ancestors and your past and your future and your present.
So this is just one tiny little sector of it
(23:30):
that you can use as a tool. And that's your
north node, which is your life path, so it's your
purpose and destiny. Your north node shows where you're meant
to grow even if it feels uncomfortable. Learning to trust
yourself means leaning into your north node even when it's scary.
So example, for me on the last episode, my north
(23:52):
node was Sagittarius. Basically it says I'm meant to trust
in my freedom, creativity and self expression. I thrive when
I take risks and follow my curiosity. So if your
north node is supposed to represent your life purpose and
destiny and your life path, whatever sign that is in
(24:12):
will take on those characteristics and then whatever house it's
in I think mine is in. My ninth house will
also give you way more information specifically, so you can
use your north node if you look at it, I
will you can come back to this after you check
what your north node is. I'm just gonna say what
(24:33):
all of them are so that you have the information.
If your north node is fire Aris, Leo Sagittarius, Trust
that you are meant to lead, inspire, and be bold.
If your north node is in the earth signs Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn,
trust that you are meant to build stability, master your craft,
and stay grounded. If your north node is an air
(24:56):
sign like Gemini Libra Aquarius, trust that you are meant
to share ideas, create balance, and innovate. Your north node
is water, trust that you're meant to feel deeply and
heal and trust your intuition a firm I am stepping
into my north node energy. I trust my path, even
when it feels unknown. How do you find your north node?
(25:18):
Obviously you need your birth date, your time, exact time
down to the minute, minds at five twenty three am,
the exact minute, your birthplace, and you can use a
free birth calculator they have. There's like a cafe astrology
astro seek astro dot com, enter your details, look for
(25:38):
the north node symbol, which kind of looks like a
septum piercing, and it'll list which one it is. So
that's a little bit about your north node. There's also
your south node, your chiron, all of these other things
that are meant to help us remember our purpose. So
I like to use a north node because I always
think of like the north star. So yeah, if you're
(26:01):
interested in that, you can you can check that out
on your chart. And that concludes the astrology portion of
the podcast. How are we feeling okay? So hopefully you
feel a little bit better. If you weren't feeling better before,
maybe you've gotten some guidance. I hope this episode was
at least helpful or insightful or empowering. If you have
(26:26):
any of your own self love tips or what you do,
please let me know hit me up on my social media.
And I just wanted to remind everyone, and this is
going for myself too, that you are not behind. You
are not failing. We're evolving, and evolving is uncomfortable and
it's just our brain freaking out trying to protect us
(26:49):
when we have those thoughts and we spiral. But we're
doing everything right. I mean the fact that we're even
like I'm making this episode and you're listening to this
episode means we're on the same wavelength and actively working
on ourselves. And that's powerful because when we work on
ourselves and become better people, we become better people for
others in society, and we don't have to have it
(27:11):
all figured out right now, like chill girl. You good,
You're so pretty, you're so kind, You're sent a good
person and a good friend. Just please, please, please do
not give up on yourself. Please, because we got some
shit to do. I know you have some dreams to accomplish,
(27:33):
and you will. I feel it for everyone I do.
We just need to lock in with ourselves and make
sure none of this bullshit is going to infiltrate our
pretty protection bubble. Okay, thank you so much for listening
to another episode of The Super Secret Bestie Club. We
can't wait for Curly to be back. I hope you
(27:55):
enjoyed this episode. I shy now and hit me up
on my social media. You can follow me at Maya
in the Moment, m a Ya in the Moment, anywhere
you scroll on TikTok and Instagram and Twitch soon. So
love you bye. Make sure to hit that subscribe button
(28:15):
to hear more episodes every single week. The Super Secret
Bestie Club podcast is a production of Sonodo in partnership
with iHeartRadio's Michael Tha podcast Network. For more podcasts from iHeart,
visit the iHeartRadio, app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen
to your favorite shows.
Hello, Curly. Oh no, I'm in this stork cave alone.
I'm Spirally. Who am I? What's the point? Okay, I
guess so just given to the darkness. No, wait, what
(00:20):
who's that? It's me? You're higher south. Here, take my hand,
I'll pull you out. Get in here. My name is
Curly and I'm Maya and welcome to the super Secret
Psty Clouds Podcast. A super secret club where we talk
about super secret things. Yeah, like secrets that are super
(00:44):
That's what it is. In each episode, we'll talk about love, friendship, heartbreaks, men,
and of course our favorite secrets. Get in here. Hello, everybody.
Curly is still out of time. He's on vacation. We
hope he's having all the fun in the world. He's
actually in Hawaii, which is like I wish I was there.
(01:08):
So listen, we're just gonna get right to it because
I just wanted to have a solo bestie date with you,
just me and you just us. Maybe we're like riding
in the car, or maybe we're like having breakfast or
dinner or brunch, or maybe we're on our like fourth
picture at Bottomless Mimosa's Drag Brunch. That's where we're at
(01:31):
right now, that moment where it's like, girl, you're just
so pretty and you're just so nice. That's the energy
I'm trying to give today. Okay, so lock in a little.
Birdie told me that sometimes you forget who you are.
Sometimes I forget who I am. You know, maybe work
makes you feel like you have no control or like
(01:53):
loneliness creeps in because your friend from high school got
engaged and married and had a baby all with him
one year and you have barely decided to re download
your dating apps. So relatable, not based on actual experience,
but relatable, and your doom scrolling thinking what the f
(02:13):
another Ash Travino video, Girl, Get those girls some beds,
buy your children some begs. Oh I was gonna say bedbugs,
and I said begs because she has bedbugs. Anyway, Okay,
I'm here to ground you and bring you back to center.
From someone who has been through it and back and
(02:34):
has dragged herself out multiple times and will continue to
drag myself out. I'm here to remind you of who
you are because let's be real, if you're listening to
this podcast right now, you are already a certified batty
queen girl. So congratulations to you. You should be very
happy for yourself. Pat yourself on the back. Thank you. Okay,
(02:56):
So this episode is for you to if you're ever
feel like lost and you need to find a way
back to yourself. Here are some things that I do
to find my way back to myself. And this is
from experience. I just had a moment, like a couple
weeks ago, actually last week we could go today, where
(03:17):
I was just like, should I quit? What is going
on in this world? What is happening? Are we in
the upside down? Should I just? Like? What? Like? Is
this Handmaid's tail? Like? What? Anyway, So let's first address
maybe some of the thoughts you have in your head
(03:38):
that make you feel a little lost. I know for me,
I always get like, why should I pursue X, Y
and Z when there's people already doing it better, They're younger,
they're prettier, they're funnier. You know, it goes down the
line I'm a failure, I'm not funny, I'm alone, or
any other statements. Think of the statements that you tell yourself,
(04:00):
the narrative that you tell yourself. For me, I think
of these thoughts as just thoughts like they're just little
clouds and they're orbiting around me, but they don't stick
to me. And they're clouds so like they can dissipate
at any time with the snap of a finger. They're
not gonna hold any weight to me unless I allow it,
(04:22):
because I always have a protection bubble around me. That
is the only thing that's allowed in that protection bubble
is me. It's not my mom, it's not my parents,
it's not my closest closest friend. It is me, and
love and light and grace for myself and silly goofy
(04:45):
things that only serve for the highest good, for the
purpose of my highest highest good. So I'm not gonna
let these statements, you know, that are not based on
fact trip me up, you know, even though they have.
I was tripping last week, tripping all over all over
(05:07):
the place, and I wasn't even wearing shoes to you know,
like to trip on anyway. So here are some questions
that I asked myself, what are the purpose of these statements,
like what are what what what are they serving? They're
not serving much if you're Prima, if you're bestie or
(05:27):
anyone around you, or to say these things about themselves.
Would you say, yeah, you know why you are ugly? No,
you wouldn't like, uh, unless it was a hater cousin,
then go ahead. No, no, no, But basically you wouldn't
say these things. You wouldn't allow these things to be
said to your younger self or your like your little
(05:50):
nephew or niece. Like you have to start treating these
thoughts as like, uh, they're not gonna stick, They're not
going to infiltrate, because the deal is like this is
a self saboteur. These self saboteurs will say things to
try to protect us from getting hurt, from getting embarrassed.
(06:13):
They're like a defense mechanism, and and you know it's
they're kind of innocent. They're like our inner child being
like we don't want to be embarrassed right now, or
like yeah, I'm not going to try to do this
new thing or I'm not gonna you know, wear this
new thing or whatever, because I don't want to be
made fun of. I don't want to be looked at weird.
(06:34):
I'm just protecting you, So I'm giving you these thoughts
to limit the amount of hurt that we might get.
So chat JBT told me that the human brain has
a negativity bias, meaning it naturally holds on to negative
thoughts more than positive ones. And this is not because
you're failing at self love. It's literally biology trying to
(06:57):
keep you safe, which makes sense, like I understand, but
it's kind of like anxiety and inside out to no spoilers,
but there was literally a moment where she was spiraling
because of these thoughts, and guess who brought her out
joy Batty checkpoint. Okay, let's just pause for a second.
Are we hydrated, Let's just drink some water, fill up
(07:20):
your cup, unclench your jaw, Let's take a deep breath in,
end out, center ourselves. And if you're cleaning right now,
you're doing a great job. If you're driving right now,
good job being safe, and good job listening to this podcast.
Oh and unclench your booty cheeks. Very important. Now that
(07:41):
we've addressed the thoughts, let's redirect this energy. So now
that we kind of got through the sticky iky and
the sweet ooey ouey that's from a song and I
didn't know that that song was talking about marijuana anyway,
Here is my magical Battye elixir. Elixir elixir. This is
(08:08):
something that I use when I have gone through the
ickiness of uugh, I'm feeling like shit, life is weird. Whatever. Okay,
these thoughts aren't true clean slate. I've done and energetically
say Jean myself, this is what I do. I create
(08:28):
a batty playlist. I know we all have one, but
make another one that is even more potent and intentional.
If there's any spiritual girls out there, any Woolloo girls,
any witchy pooh girls, You're gonna need to treat this
like a spell, like an exercise that is just potent,
dedicated for you. So a literal playlist on your platform
(08:52):
music platform of choice. Pick songs that make you feel like,
you know what, Hell yeah. A song that makes you
literally want to shake your body, because shaking your body
releases tension and it kind of resets everything. A song
(09:25):
that makes you want to jump on your bed like
you're twelve years old. A song that makes you feel
like you're about to quit your job and move to Paris.
And then maybe a song that makes you feel like
Elle Woods you know, or Selena or something something that's like, ooh,
let's just click into our super divine feminine goddess mode,
like these songs that just make this just ooze that energy,
(09:47):
so we can remind ourselves literally, we are so magical
as people, as women, as queer people, as like humans,
we are magical. Like, let's remember our magic again. And
number two is a dress party of one. Put on
(10:07):
that outfit that if you saw in my recent post
where I'm dressed, I dressed up in like this orange
and pink dress. I did that video because I was
following my magical Batty elixir. Okay, I was dancing around
my room to my batty playlist, and I was wearing
an outfit that I would wear if I were to
(10:32):
see my ops. Yeah, because I got some ops and
they're probably watching right now. I'm just kidding. I honestly
don't know if I have any but you know, hypothetical
metaphorical spiritually like that type of thing where like you're
in an early two thousands movie and you see a
(10:52):
girl and there's a dance battle. You want to look
fly as fuck in that dance battle. Girl, So put
on that dress right now in this moment in your
living room, nobody else around. And the third thing is
dancing shaking ass is proven to be an ancient healing technique. Okay,
to shake off the maleojo. It's proven, it's true. Look
(11:16):
it up when you're in fight or flight mode or
your body is wired to look for danger. Like you know, before,
we were having all those thoughts, including perceived threats like
rejection or failure. Learning how to calm down your nervous
system by breathing movement music makes self love way easier.
(11:37):
So what we're doing now is calming down, recalibrating our
nervous system. And number four is affirmations. We all know affirmations.
I feel like it's come. It's been a little like
a little cliche, a little maybe tired or played out.
But my thing is is I create affirmations for my
(12:00):
spell for myself as a spell, and I think that's
what we need to start doing, like self love spells,
creating your own affirmations, taking some affirmations that are still
tried and true. So basically, the words you repeat to
yourself literally create neural pathways in your brain. We had
(12:21):
a neural pathway scientists on the podcast earlier, and scientists
call this neural plasticity, meaning your brain adapts to what
it hears most often, no one ever hated themselves into
a better life. I don't want to do that. I
knew somebody who hated themselves, hated their body and did
(12:41):
everything they could to lose weight, everything they could to
be prettier, like all this stuff, and guess what they
got there, and they still hated themselves. Like, I'm sorry,
I just can't do all that work. I can't. It's
a lot. So create your own affirmations that become your
own self love spell, maybe some light meditation music here.
(13:01):
Here are some affirmations I say to redirect the energy.
Everything always works out for me, because that's my reality period.
These feelings are temporary. I am enough. I love you me,
I love me you, I love me, love you. Whatever
(13:23):
is meant for me will find me. I choose me.
Money loves me. It can't wait to be with me.
Money's obsessed with me. It always wants to be with
me all the time. I'm like, oh, okay, I guess
so yeah, I trust myself. I can do anything. And
I will use these in a song. I will use
(13:45):
these as I'm just talking in my head. Because you
don't want to just use these when you are feeling low,
because I feel like it's a little harder for it
to actually penetrate and seep in. You want to do
the You want to do these basically every day because
it's a practice. And number five, call a friend, go
(14:09):
outside and touch grass, as they say, get some sun,
some breathe, some fresh air, connect with nature, feel the
earth and the grass beneath your feet, and know that
everything's gonna be okay. You have always been that girl.
You are that girl. You're carrying. You're loving and compassionate,
(14:31):
You're beautiful, You're sexy girl, You're iconic. And lastly, I
wanted to talk about radical self love, confidence and believing
in yourself. Here is like when we do all this
stuff and we're kind of like it's kind of like skincare,
(14:51):
you know, like we're washing our face, we're putting on
our creams, we're doing our toners or cleansers, whatever. These
are the steps. This last step is so crucial. Maybe
this is the drinking water step of the mind. You
have to believe in yourself. You have to trust in
(15:11):
yourself radically. Delusionally is that a word, delusionally And delusion
doesn't mean I'm dumb, Like you know, there's some people
are delusional. Astravino, that bitch is delusional. Sorry, but like
the delusional we're talking about is the kind of delusion
that it's like despite all odds, despite everything that's trying
(15:35):
to tell me to change myself, to lose weight, to
fix this, and that I'm gonna love myself right now?
How about that? How about that? And what about it?
You know that is radical. So the term radical self
love comes from activists and poets Sonya Renee Taylor, who
(15:57):
wrote The Body Is Not An Apology. She says self
love must be unconditional and exist outside of societal standards.
A lot of this stuff comes from societal standards. If
we go back to the beginning of this episode, a
lot of the stuff that we were saying, I'm not this,
I'm not that, I'm not blah blah blah, all of
(16:18):
those things are making you seem like you are lacking
things because you're comparing yourself to other people instead of
looking inside and accepting and loving what you already have
that is already magical and beautiful and great. Just because
we see somebody else doing it in a way that
maybe we would like to do it doesn't mean that
(16:40):
we are any less and that's the thing that we
need to sink in. And really, I wish I could
tattoo that in my brain. Your mama just lack a
sattoo I Lolways have you shout out Jordan's sparks my girl? Oh? Okay?
Radical self love is revolutionary because it says I am worthy,
(17:02):
not because of what I do, how I look, or
what I achieve, just because I simply exist. Radical love
is not about fixing yourself. It's about unlearning the belief
that you were ever broken in the first place. I'm
about to cry? Is anyone crying? Self love isn't a
(17:25):
reward for being productive or hitting a goal. You don't
need to earn the right to love yourself. You already
have it. We were born loved, We were born with love.
We were born love period. Like if you believe in God,
if you believe in anything, if you don't at least
believe in yourself, girl, you know? And confidence is I
(17:49):
hear a lot of people whenever I post my body, especially,
they say thank you for helping me be confident in
my own body, or I love your confidence. And there's
a little tiny sliver of that. I'm like, what do
you actually mean by that? Is it because I'm in
a bigger body, I'm curvier, I'm chunkier, and you have
that same body, So you see the representation of that
(18:12):
and that makes you feel better. That is amazing and
I love that, and I think it's something that people
think is inaccessible to them because of all of these
societal standards capitalism. But research shows that confidence isn't something
(18:45):
you're born with. It's something that is built through action.
Each time you do something outside of your comfort zone,
your brain literally creates new neural pathways that make confidence
easier next time. It's just like any habit. It's like
a muscle. Confidence isn't genetic. No baby is born thinking
oh my thighs are too big. It's all learned and
(19:07):
it can be unlearned. So those are things we have
to catch and see, like where did this come from?
Who said this? Who sent this into my brain? Oh?
This was something I heard from mytheas you know, when
I was little, I used to hear like once be careful,
maya once on the hips forever or once on the
lips forever on the hips, And that fucked me up
(19:29):
my entire life because it made me self conscious of
everything that I ate was going to make my body larger,
which is fucked up because we eat to nourish ourselves
and do we eat for comfort? Sometimes? How fucking yeah?
Do I eat when I'm sad? Sometimes? How fucking yeah?
Do I eat when I'm mad? Sometimes? Yes? I do? Yes,
(19:52):
I do. And that's another thing, because that's emotional eating.
But what I'm saying is that it drove me into
this way of monitoring what I was eating at a
young age, at like eight years old, that's too young
to be thinking that. All my life, I was like,
(20:12):
I have big thighs. I have big thighs. I have
big thyes, because I didn't see the representation of other
people having my body type. So believing in yourself. The
most successful, confident people aren't born with self trust. They
build it over time, every time you make a choice,
follow your gut, or try something new to strengthen this muscle.
(20:33):
Beyonce wasn't in the womb like I'm that girl. She
became that girl by choosing it and believing it, and
so do you because we see other people doing it right,
and it's not something that again people are born with.
It's a practice and there's many things in our lives
that we have done as a practice and we succeeded
(20:55):
at this one feels like a little bit of a
boss level, right, And I mean believing in yourself and
accepting yourself radical self love in all of it. It
doesn't mean just your body or your weight. It means
the way you talk, the way you think, the way
you view things. Really having that and you need that
in order to like accomplish your dreams, right or just
to be a better person for society in general. So
(21:19):
bottom line, you will not wake up one day and
just arrive at self love like you. Nobody will ever
be completely healed, even if we want to get a
little woo woo. People who have crossed over, they are
still learning. Like I know my grandparents who are crossed
over are helping me now with my own journey and
(21:41):
they're learning on how to like angels and stuff like
That's I know. It's super woo woo. And I need
to stop being insecure about being spiritual. That's the thing
I clocked on myself. Boop, See this is working, so
you won't. It's a daily practice, like I said, like
brushing your teeth. Some days it's easy. Some days it's work,
but every bit of effort adds up over time. Think
(22:03):
of self love like skincare. One day of moisturizer won't
change your life, but doing it every day is the point.
That is something that again I will keep saying, is
a practice. So every single day it has to be
a non negotiable where you have a five minute, like
start two minutes, five minutes looking in the mirror, trying
(22:25):
out these self love self care things that make you
feel like it like it's working, because it's not one
size fits all, Okay, Like I know a lot of
people say look in the mirror and tell yourself I
love you. I literally go, I love you, I love you,
I love you like it changes over time. But what
I have found is my greatest self love is dancing
(22:46):
my ass off, you know, putting on an outfit or
doing something that is not servicing me, doing something that
but it's it's just a practice. Welcome to the astrology
portion of the podcast. So in last week's episode, we
(23:07):
touched on the North Node, and I know in other
episodes I've touched on it a little bit, but I really,
I mean, among everything in astrology, it is huge. It
is a chart that is your entire life and your
ancestors and your past and your future and your present.
So this is just one tiny little sector of it
(23:30):
that you can use as a tool. And that's your
north node, which is your life path, so it's your
purpose and destiny. Your north node shows where you're meant
to grow even if it feels uncomfortable. Learning to trust
yourself means leaning into your north node even when it's scary.
So example, for me on the last episode, my north
(23:52):
node was Sagittarius. Basically it says I'm meant to trust
in my freedom, creativity and self expression. I thrive when
I take risks and follow my curiosity. So if your
north node is supposed to represent your life purpose and
destiny and your life path, whatever sign that is in
(24:12):
will take on those characteristics and then whatever house it's
in I think mine is in. My ninth house will
also give you way more information specifically, so you can
use your north node if you look at it, I
will you can come back to this after you check
what your north node is. I'm just gonna say what
(24:33):
all of them are so that you have the information.
If your north node is fire Aris, Leo Sagittarius, Trust
that you are meant to lead, inspire, and be bold.
If your north node is in the earth signs Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn,
trust that you are meant to build stability, master your craft,
and stay grounded. If your north node is an air
(24:56):
sign like Gemini Libra Aquarius, trust that you are meant
to share ideas, create balance, and innovate. Your north node
is water, trust that you're meant to feel deeply and
heal and trust your intuition a firm I am stepping
into my north node energy. I trust my path, even
when it feels unknown. How do you find your north node?
(25:18):
Obviously you need your birth date, your time, exact time
down to the minute, minds at five twenty three am,
the exact minute, your birthplace, and you can use a
free birth calculator they have. There's like a cafe astrology
astro seek astro dot com, enter your details, look for
(25:38):
the north node symbol, which kind of looks like a
septum piercing, and it'll list which one it is. So
that's a little bit about your north node. There's also
your south node, your chiron, all of these other things
that are meant to help us remember our purpose. So
I like to use a north node because I always
think of like the north star. So yeah, if you're
(26:01):
interested in that, you can you can check that out
on your chart. And that concludes the astrology portion of
the podcast. How are we feeling okay? So hopefully you
feel a little bit better. If you weren't feeling better before,
maybe you've gotten some guidance. I hope this episode was
at least helpful or insightful or empowering. If you have
(26:26):
any of your own self love tips or what you do,
please let me know hit me up on my social media.
And I just wanted to remind everyone, and this is
going for myself too, that you are not behind. You
are not failing. We're evolving, and evolving is uncomfortable and
it's just our brain freaking out trying to protect us
(26:49):
when we have those thoughts and we spiral. But we're
doing everything right. I mean the fact that we're even
like I'm making this episode and you're listening to this
episode means we're on the same wavelength and actively working
on ourselves. And that's powerful because when we work on
ourselves and become better people, we become better people for
others in society, and we don't have to have it
(27:11):
all figured out right now, like chill girl. You good,
You're so pretty, you're so kind, You're sent a good
person and a good friend. Just please, please, please do
not give up on yourself. Please, because we got some
shit to do. I know you have some dreams to accomplish,
(27:33):
and you will. I feel it for everyone I do.
We just need to lock in with ourselves and make
sure none of this bullshit is going to infiltrate our
pretty protection bubble. Okay, thank you so much for listening
to another episode of The Super Secret Bestie Club. We
can't wait for Curly to be back. I hope you
(27:55):
enjoyed this episode. I shy now and hit me up
on my social media. You can follow me at Maya
in the Moment, m a Ya in the Moment, anywhere
you scroll on TikTok and Instagram and Twitch soon. So
love you bye. Make sure to hit that subscribe button
(28:15):
to hear more episodes every single week. The Super Secret
Bestie Club podcast is a production of Sonodo in partnership
with iHeartRadio's Michael Tha podcast Network. For more podcasts from iHeart,
visit the iHeartRadio, app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen
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