April 2, 2025 • 49 mins
Our hosts dive into the ever-relatable struggle of expectations versus reality. From dating and friendships to career goals and personal growth, they ask the big question—are they setting the bar too high, or is the world just not delivering? Tune in for a fun and thought-provoking conversation about finding the balance between dreaming big and staying realistic!
Maya Murillo and Curly Velásquez are the hosts of the Super Secret Bestie Club with production support by Karina Riveroll of Sonoro Media in partnership with iHeart Radio's My Cultura Podcast network. If you want to support the podcast, please rate and review our show!
Follow Maya Murillo on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok @mayainthemoment
Follow Curly Velásquez on Instagram and TikTok @thecurlyvshow and on Twitter @CurlyVee
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Oh my gosh, I'm so exciting. My bad Bunny robot
came in. Okay, let me open it.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Oh, here's a button to turn it on. Boopponon. Sorry,
maybe the setting is wrong.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Let me change the language to French French juices. Sorry,
bad bunny robot. Aren't you supposed to be bad bunny
or hi close? Not quite?
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Maybe a mediocre bunny, maybe so buddy, maybe a little
titty buddy.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
This did not No, this did not meet my expectations.
I was not expecting this.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Wow. I uh.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
My name is Curly and I'm Maya and Welcome to
the Super Secret Crusty Clouds Podcast, a super club where
we talked about super secret things.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Like secrets that are super That's what it is.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
In each episode, we'll talk about love, friendship, heartbreaks, men,
and of course favorite secrets.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
Get in here.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Oh my God, by Bunny, I love your work, By Team,
I love you work.
Speaker 5 (01:28):
My made me listen to that entire album in Hawaii
from number one to whatever number song.
Speaker 4 (01:35):
I cried at the end of the album, It's good,
It's so good.
Speaker 5 (01:38):
I didn't think I'm not really a bad bunny song
and I think that I might have track for this,
but I think that his voice can become a little monotonous.
It's like from the same part of his It's like, you.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Know, see, you actually do a great impression.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
And we can say this because we've met that bunny.
Speaker 5 (02:03):
So yeah, I feel like he sings from like both
the back of his throat, but like in his chest
or his stomach.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
And then and he's got a fast virato.
Speaker 4 (02:15):
It's like he's like, is not so it's so mad
at me?
Speaker 5 (02:23):
And I'm like, I can't hear a whole album with
this man just like sounding crazy out here?
Speaker 2 (02:29):
How's your spirit?
Speaker 4 (02:31):
Spirit's good?
Speaker 5 (02:32):
I just like, I just got this really cool thing
off of TikTok. It's called Evil Goods. It's like whipped
tallow honey bomb. It's supposed to be like this is
not I'm not gonna show because it's not a commercial,
but it supposed to make you look super young because
supposedly Sai puts FA on her face. So then I
decided I was going to put that on my face.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Too, right, And you can say that because she's your
friend exactly.
Speaker 5 (02:56):
I yeah, you know what somehi is my friend. We
met one in an interview and she called me and
the rest is history.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
I'm like true love. Sounds like true love.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
My spirit is good. I washed my hair, and honestly,
I've been using those crimpers. I feel like everyone's crimping
their hair again. Not that like super good thank you,
not like the super tiny crimper, but like the Beachway
type of things with like the three the girlies know
(03:30):
what I'm talking about, Like that the three little prong
clamp thing. Yeah, I've been using that and it's been
frying the shit out of my hair.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
So I had to stop. And now I'm in repair mode.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Oh well, yeah, I'm in repair mode now because when
I don't use any heat on my hair and just
leave it alone, it grows so fast. But whenever I
straighten it or do my little tricks with it, it starts
breaking off like crazy.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
So you know, you really trying to your hair.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
I'm trying, and it's not because I hate my hair.
It's because I love to change my look and I
love a good little like. You know, I do my
hair like very big and juryous, and.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
I wish I could do that. I was just thinking
about that yesterday.
Speaker 5 (04:19):
But how girls can change their hair and do a
bunch of different things like they can change their look
according to how they want to dress, and.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
Like I can't really do that with guy hair.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Welcome to the other episode. Everyone.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
This episode, we're gonna be talking about expectations. I just
had this thing, Like I've had this my entire life.
My mom has told me this all the time. Lower
your expectations or just don't expect anything. You shouldn't do
anything to expect anything. You should do things out of
the goodness of your heart because you know. And I'm like, hey,
(04:56):
she's right, she's right. But I struggle with it because,
like chat GBT says, expectations often exist in our minds,
but we assume others understand and operate by the same rules.
So this can be expectations for friendships, for co workers,
(05:18):
for relationships, romantic relationships, expectations for yourself. It's I'm just
I just want to ask some questions and dive into
it of like are we hindering ourselves for having them?
Or are they necessary boundaries? Are they good or bad?
Speaker 6 (05:35):
Like?
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Because sometimes expectations are like you have high expectations for yourself, right,
so then can you have those same high expectations for
other people?
Speaker 6 (05:46):
Like?
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Is that just something where you feel self love, where
you're like, this is the new standard and I expect
this or is it control? And are you just kind
of obsessed with the outcome and things fitting into your
standard and you know, like it's I don't know, what
do you think?
Speaker 4 (06:06):
Right off the bat?
Speaker 5 (06:06):
We were talking yesterday and I was like, I think everybody.
I think to me, the healthy way to do anything
in life is to have like a balance, right like
the middle way as they say in Buddhism, which we'll
get into a little later, but I was like, we
kind of all have expectations every day, right Like we
all expect to wake up tomorrow. I expect to get
into my car with its internal combustion engine and for
(06:28):
it to start working.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
You know. I expect you expect your man to stay loyal,
we hope, you know.
Speaker 5 (06:37):
And I expected Trump to lose and he didn't. So
sometimes you're just like, uh, you know, but I think
we all kind of have expectations every day, and I
think that that kind of is what makes us. I
think it's deeper than it almost feels like there's different
forms of expectations, right like, because I think that when
(06:59):
you put X lotions on people and friendships and stuff
like that. It goes back to I think you said
it where you were like, well, this is what I
would have done, this is what I would have handled it.
But I think that for me me personally, and I
want to know what you think too. I think that
it's important to have expectations of people, because otherwise what's
(07:21):
the answer. You're just like a like a little dead
little rock. You're like, it's fine, I don't expect no
one to do anything exactly.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
It's like, is it a form of self love? Where
you're like, this is what I deserve. I deserve to
be treated kindly. I deserve to be and it's like, yes,
I deserve to be considered. But whenever my expectations are
let down, whenever I'm let down, it is the end
(07:51):
of the world for me. I feel like I revert
back to like a younger version of myself who remembers
constantly being let down, whether it was by a parent figure,
by an older sibling, by a teacher, by myself, you know,
and then having this kind of complex that I would
(08:13):
I never want to make anyone feel like that. So
I'm going to show up. I'm going to overcompensate. I'm
going to make sure that everybody feels considered, And then
when I don't feel considered, I'm like I would never
like how could somebody ever do that? I could never
do that not knowing that, like they don't know your language,
(08:34):
Like they don't know like the code of or the
triggers yet you know.
Speaker 5 (08:40):
Yeah, Well, I feel like there's certain things like you
should expect to be respected, right, You should expect to
be safe, you should expect.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
To be all these things.
Speaker 5 (08:46):
But some people I think have expectations that are a
little bit like, you know, I expect my man to
pay for everything and take care of me.
Speaker 4 (08:56):
I don't know about that one.
Speaker 5 (08:57):
Like I expect, you know, my woman to go into
the kitchen and make me a sandwich. Well, bitch, you're
about to get some you know what I mean. Like,
there's a lot of different things that I feel like
you kind of have to ask yourself where your own
compasses in terms of like morale or like progression, progressiveness
or being conservative or wherever you're at, and then decide
what your expectations are. Because I think that if you
(09:20):
expect people to do, you know, on a larger scale, right,
if there's men who expect women to act a certain
type of way or women who expect men to ec
certent type of way, Like I hope you are disappointed.
I hope you do get disappointed. I hope you do
get upset, Like nobody owes you anything in that aspect.
But if you're like, no, I expect that when people
(09:40):
come like with me, for example, like in our in
our family, like we if somebody new comes into the house,
we as a family expect them to settle that right
like say hi, say hello, like you don't live here,
like we have different expectations all around.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
But so I have a question too, like when it
comes to someone you're dating, and if they constantly if
you're constantly feeling like you're let down by those by
the expectations you have, but you vocalized it to them
over and over again, maybe they keep forgetting or maybe
(10:18):
they just are not you know, reciprocating, Like then when
does it become a conversation of like, hey, but not
in such a harsh way where it's like you're not
meeting my expectations. Goodbye, yeah, and then they fall into
(10:39):
the trap door.
Speaker 4 (10:43):
Robert, what are you doing here?
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Well?
Speaker 2 (10:47):
You didn't meet her expectations. Did you know? What did
you do?
Speaker 6 (10:52):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Michael Chad, Michael not Chad, never.
Speaker 4 (10:58):
Dated Chad, never say never.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Never and no more j names?
Speaker 4 (11:10):
What do you do? What do you think? How do
you answer that I'm asking you?
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Like, like, when does it become?
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Is it the end? Is it over?
Speaker 1 (11:20):
If they just don't try?
Speaker 5 (11:22):
Well, that's kind of really interesting that you would say
that to me, right because in a lot of my relationships,
so I'm a virgo, I'm a virgo avoidant slash secure
and a lot of.
Speaker 4 (11:34):
Basically very warm.
Speaker 5 (11:36):
But sometimes in relationships, I don't necessarily know how to
give people the sort of emotion, the sort of reactiveness
or reactions to what they want.
Speaker 4 (11:45):
Like I'm the type of.
Speaker 5 (11:46):
Person if you were to be like I'm going to leave,
I'd be like wonderful, Like I don't know what to
tell you if you want to.
Speaker 4 (11:52):
Leave, I don't know what to tell you. I don't
But it doesn't mean that I don't care.
Speaker 5 (12:02):
It just means that I don't know how to like,
I don't the way that I see it as almost
like bigger picture, right, like you're anger or your sadness
when attached to an outcome is where the pain kind
of comes from, right, Like, so whatever that is, like
if I'm like, look, I would love for you to stay,
(12:22):
but if you want to go? Why would I want
someone to stay who wants to go? So it gets
kind of hard because I'm like, I don't know what
the right answer to that is, Like I don't know,
Like when it comes to relationship, like if like, for example,
if I say to you, you know, I have a
certain thing happening where someone is asking of me to
(12:43):
be more vocal about my emotions in terms of being
sweet in my language, I don't have that. I didn't
grow up like that either. You know, we were very
sweet with each other in kind, but like I think,
like I didn't grow up in a household where people
were like.
Speaker 4 (13:05):
Like I don't I don't know what the fuck I'd
be like, bitch, get off of me. When I don't.
Speaker 5 (13:18):
Know, you know what my love language is, my languguage
is like damn, you're fucking fine as fuck. And when
we get home, I'm a fucking bounce on that base.
And then before and then after that, I'm taking you
to fucking I don't know, get chocolate tudor or some
ship or maybe I'll give you a chocolate tutor.
Speaker 4 (13:31):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
Oh yes, well yes, I feel like a part of
my undiagnosed O C d ADHD and who.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Knows what else is in there.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
It's a grab bag pu anything out of there, and
I'd be like that makes sense? No, yeah, yeah, yeah, unmedicated,
but feel buy weed anyway?
Speaker 4 (13:57):
I mean the doo witters. I mean.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Is I feel like I have an attachment to outcomes
when it comes to events, like I build high expectations,
almost a fantasy thing where I'm like, I'm gonna go
I'm going to see someone that's cute. They're going to
walk up to me and they're gonna say you are cute,
(14:22):
can't get you own now?
Speaker 4 (14:25):
And it did happen to you? And you were like no.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
Because they were a nineteen year old baby.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
It was at Disneyland. He was shorter than me, had
a pudgy, pudgy baby face and asked me. Came up
to me this this fool came up to me and
said how old are you? And I said how old
am I? He's like, yeah, how old are you? I'm
(14:53):
like thirty one? When you're listening to this thirty two.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
And he's because my birthday.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
Anyway, and he was, oh, well, could I have your
Instagram or your number? I go no, no, exactly like that,
I know, and he goes he was like, oh, I
just wanted to tell you that, you know, you look good.
Speaker 5 (15:22):
You look good.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (15:28):
I love that you're waiting for your girlfriend in the bathroom, right.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Hurry up, she's all tamped up. Just take me a
long time for Oh my friend she got like children
at Disneyland and had her period.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
At the same time. So you know, not.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Only were not only was I waiting for in line,
I was waiting for her in the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
So let me Carmen.
Speaker 5 (15:55):
Oh not her name, No, she lives.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
Yeah, So I didn't expect that to happen.
Speaker 5 (16:20):
So maybe you have to be a little bit more
specific in your fantasies and your expectations.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Well, I am, and then I get disappointed.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
And then you know, if it's an event where like
a singles event or like something just like a work event,
I'm like, I'm gonna go and this is gonna happen.
And then I come home because none of that happened,
and I'm like fuck and I get really upset. Of
(16:46):
course it didn't happen like I throw a fit.
Speaker 5 (16:50):
You know, I don't feel like whatever part of my
brain I honestly I don't know how to explain it
to people, but I feel like I just got booped
in the head hard enough for like my madula upland
gata is just like it doesn't have a lot of
expectations on people because I just don't care.
Speaker 4 (17:04):
Like I just don't have like a thing where I'm
like for better for worse.
Speaker 5 (17:07):
I actually I was telling my cousin why. I was like,
I don't care about a lot of things and like
where I feel like sometimes it can frustrate people because
they'll be like, no, I want I want you to
care and what I don't like?
Speaker 4 (17:18):
Why am I going to get upset with something I
just like I don't have.
Speaker 5 (17:23):
There's I think we've talked about this before, like between
me and you, where I'm like, there's nothing in my
brain that goes like I don't know what I forgot
where it was like you got.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
Me drinking coffee at five pm?
Speaker 5 (17:40):
Oh what was it the other day where I was
like I was just like, yeah, I just don't feel
like that sort of energy.
Speaker 4 (17:48):
Oh, because.
Speaker 5 (17:51):
But the one thing that I will say, and it
links back to the whole thing of like I'd give
you this, so why can't you give me this in reciprocation?
Speaker 4 (17:59):
Right?
Speaker 5 (18:00):
And I do start to care? Is that because I
don't care so much? I don't like when people do
care about something that I do. So, like, let's say,
like with fashion, right, Like oh maybe fashion, I do care,
but with certain things when people do it to me,
Like why if I say something's ugly and they're like, oh, curly,
don't say that, like that's not very curly thin to say,
like you would never call it ugly? And I'm like,
(18:21):
why can't I be mean once in a while? Why
can't I? Like, you know, I I called one of
my exes, I'm sorry. I called one of my cousin's exes.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
A thumb and my that's there's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 5 (18:32):
And my family was like, don't call them a thumb.
And I'm like, I'm I'm getting the protective of my
family member.
Speaker 4 (18:38):
That person's a thumb, but I'm not allowed to do that.
Speaker 5 (18:41):
When somebody else is like fuck her either, I'm like,
that's you, Like, you know, like that's your feelings, Like
I don't police people, and I feel like people police
me a lot and that and I expect people not
to police mem.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
But see, the solution to that is communication, you know.
And I think that's the biggest thing of all of
this stuff is when we get especially when it comes
to like communication with relationships and friends, those are like
because our expectations, boundaries or what like, it feels like
such a weird ass like word and kind of mystical
(19:17):
thing that it is just exists. And yet it I
feel like, yeah, there's there's a lot of attachment to
Attachments are another thing, you know, because we're attaching to
serve a part of our narrative or to.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
Kind of.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
In a way feed our trauma and our ego. Yeah,
but what you think about this next.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Part is really good? The next part is good.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
Are you gonna read that?
Speaker 4 (19:46):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (19:46):
So basically what we were talking about yesterday is you
were like what you had asked me, like, what is
the root of this kind what is the root of
all of this? Like why our expectations so why do
they weigh so heavy on us? And I was like,
I really think that it's truly just the ego, right, Like,
I think that talking about Buddhism, I talk about it
with Johnny Pachuga, one of my listons all the time,
(20:07):
where we like say that like when you're attached for
the show, yes, who has been the guests on the show,
When you have attachment to something an outcome, it really
is rooted an ego. CHATCHYBT was talking about. In Buddhism,
it teaches that attachment to expectations can lead to suffering. Expectations,
particularly when they are rigid or unrealistic, can create disappointment
(20:28):
when things don't go as hoped. This is closely related
to the Buddhist concept of craving and clinging, which are
seen as the root cause of suffering. So it's kind
of like if you expect somebody to do something, if
you don't have that expectation, you're never going to get hurt.
But you also don't want to be those people that
It's like, well, if you don't expect nothing, you'll never
get hurt. It's like, bitch, you can expect some shit
(20:50):
like no, expect to find love, expect to find happiness, Expect.
Speaker 4 (20:54):
Like I deserve that, you know what I mean? Like
it's not like if I don't.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
To hear that you deserve that I.
Speaker 4 (21:03):
Deserve that I'll never get hurt if that doesn't happen.
Blah blah blah blah. Like No, that's like.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
Saying just don't care, just careless.
Speaker 5 (21:11):
Exactly, just careless, which is true. It's not bad. It's
not like moderation shad well, like it's not inherently bad.
But if you're like we at that point, you're just
brain dead if you don't care about anything, like exactly,
but like what do you think? Like you know, it
goes back to what we were talking about too. That
in Buddhism, the big thing that they talk about, and
one of the things that I always say is like
(21:31):
it's the middle path, right, like everything in moderation, like
the minute that you go too hard or heavy into
one thing, it just becomes toxic. So for me, I
just think about the universe. I think about they say,
the only constant in this universe is changed, right, it's movement.
And in fashion, when you make clothes or when you
so close together your seams on the side like here,
(21:54):
like we leave extra seam allowance so that if you
get thicker or you get skinnier, you and take it
in like we won't necessarily like take away the seam allowance.
And so I think to myself, like, how do we
give our expectations a little bit of wiggle room, a
little bit of that steam allowance, to allow for like
a fluctuation, because as I always say, like in the universe,
(22:15):
just one law of everything is that everything fluctuates, the waves,
you know, our lungs, the waves, everything, earthquakes, moods, the skies, like,
everything fluctuates. And so I think allowing that wiggle room
for your expectations on people within reason, which we'll get
to too, is I think you have your set your boundary,
(22:40):
and we'll talk about that too.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
But yeah, and I think the way I used to
view going to different events, like I said before, I
would break my own heart, hurt myself a lot because
I had high expectations for a lot of these things,
because it boiled down to control. I think grow up.
I felt like, like my mom was a guest on
(23:05):
the episode on an episode before, and I don't know
if people caught this, but I didn't say it.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
In real time.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
She was like, you just maya just grew up, you know,
being so mature for her age. And you know when
therapists usually like clock that it's because the child had
to be like uh, because there's no control in the
home and they had to grow up a little bit
faster and not saying that they you know, put us
(23:35):
in any like really horrible harm's way. But my parents
are eccentric and they are you know, uh artists, and
so there's a lot of off the wall shit that
we did that made my brain be like, Okay, are
they accounting for this? No, Okay, I'm gonna overcompensate so
that this I'm gonna remind my mom, I'm gonna remind
(23:57):
my dad like those That's just the type of stuff
that I had to like, do you know? So I
did grow up a little faster because I felt like
I at times was not in a space where you know,
And this is stuff my parents and I talk about
all the time, like you know, we totally dissect dissect
(24:17):
like that moment in time where you know, and so
we've talked about it a lot, so I feel comfortable
sharing it. But the thing that they've also taught me is,
on the other hand, you have to let things flow.
Like I understand releasing your expectations when it comes to
things you cannot control, like an event like a birthday,
(24:39):
party outcome like a friend outcome, or a day a
first date. Because I'm not God, I'm not the universe,
I'm not in I'm in charge.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
In some way.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
But there are things that we have all felt, religion,
spirituality or not that are out of our control that
just happen. And I think it's about working on flowing
rather than controlling, and especially when it comes to relationships,
(25:11):
like not expecting people to read your mind and not
expecting perfection, but also not settling for crumbs.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
And I think the reason why.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
We default to maybe these expectations and feeling a little
bit sad when they don't work out or someone disappoints
us is because we're not addressing the bigger issue, which
is communicating and advocating for yourself and your needs. Yeah,
and if that other person isn't allowed, isn't capable of
meeting you at that place, the compatibility is just off
(25:43):
and that's fine.
Speaker 5 (25:44):
And that's okay, Yeah, because that's that's kind of the
other thing too, Like if you get to the point
where you're like, we're just not compatible, We're just not
hearing each other, Like there's nothing wrong with that as well, Like,
you know, to the point of somebody telling me you
you're not as gott inyos as I'd like you to be.
But I am trying and I am practicing, but it's
not meeting your standards. Like the other person has to
make a decision in terms of like, well, what do
(26:04):
I want to do? And I think that it's a
two answer too, right, Like it's not just about expectations,
it's also just about what are your own parameters, what
are your own boundaries day? What are you willing to
put up with? And what are you willing to be?
Like we tried, we really gave it our all, and
I'm just like not because that's why I've left a
lot of my relationships. I'm like, you know what, I
just we're just not compatible and that's okay. We're We're
(26:28):
not bad people in that sense. There's nothing wrong. I mean,
there's nothing wrong with some people. But like, you know,
I think it goes back to what can you put
up with? Because at the end of the day, you
get to choose how you're going to react to stuff.
You get to choose what your behavior is going to
be and also like at the end of the day,
like it's really about having conversations I think, with yourself
and your and your community in terms of like am
(26:50):
I expecting too much?
Speaker 4 (26:51):
Is this too wild?
Speaker 5 (26:52):
Because sometimes with me, like all my best friends, all
of you guys like to tease me when you're like,
what's the butt?
Speaker 4 (26:58):
Like what did the guy do?
Speaker 5 (27:00):
Like, Okay, he sounds cool, but what's the thing that, like,
you know, is not what you're expecting. It's not meeting
your expectations. And I'm like, I don't know, he has
like a weird he's weird coffee breath all the time,
you know. But I think that you're right in terms
of communication, getting your opinion out there and your point
out there, hoping that you can meet somewhere in the middle.
(27:22):
But I don't believe that expectations are a bad thing.
Speaker 4 (27:25):
Unless.
Speaker 5 (27:28):
Unless they are in a space of being rigid, and
unless they are in a space of like.
Speaker 4 (27:32):
Wanting to control people.
Speaker 5 (27:34):
But you know, I'm for sure my parents were expecting
me to be straight, but we got them there kid.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
Jokes on you.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
Yeah, And it's also like, are these expectations that I
have on other people? Are they realistic, mutual communicated clearly,
but most importantly realistic, Like it am I expecting them
to do the same thing that I would do? Or
is it, yeah, like just a rigid type of thing
that like, you know, you should show up.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
I don't know, it's it's yeah.
Speaker 5 (28:08):
Because it's like is it tip for tat The other
thing that I did here too, by the way, is
that if you're really good at something, let's just say, right,
you're really good at expressing yourself emotionally and you're like,
I'm old or whatever, I feel this way and you're
really just expressive with your words, and the person that
you're not. There's a lot of the person that you're
with isn't there's a lot of people that say, like
(28:30):
you should reflect the energy, reflect the energy. But at
the same time, I heard somebody else say, like, just
because they're not good at what they do doesn't mean
that you have to be bad at it too, So
just keep doing it for you, Like you don't have
to be Like, you don't have to change behavior that's
actually amazing that you do already, Like you don't have
to stop being a caretaker, being sweet, you know, because
(28:51):
they aren't. You can just choose to like move it
elsewhere and just do it with some other people who
either might reciprocate in the way that you would like
for them to do or where you know you just
keep it moving. And I think the best thing about
having being alive is that you get to choose how
you maneuver in a lot of ways.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
I would say, welcome to the astrology portion of the podcast.
All right, we got some It's going to be a
bit because I'm not a bit, but it's going to
be a little bit of a lot because I'm going
through all the signs about expectations. We're going to go
(29:32):
through the sun, Moon and rising signs sun sign in
terms of expectations, your sun sign is what you expect
from life and others. Your Moon sign emotional expectations and
how you react when they aren't met. Rising sign expectations
people have of you versus what you actually deliver. So
(29:53):
if you know your rising and your moon and your
sun sign, you could apply these to those. If you
need to to figure out what that is, go to
Cafe astrology dot com, any any astrology page. Type in
your birthday, your birth time to the tea exactly location
you were born and it'll give you all that stuff.
(30:14):
So Aries expects love to be thrilling twenty four to seven,
but may struggle when things settle.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
And this is a Chatgibt. That's like.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
You don't think kind of I'm a I'm an Aries,
sun Moon and Venus. So yeah, sometimes when things kind
of hit a lull, I'm like, he they fucking hate me,
We're gonna break up. And not that I'm bored, but
I do get bored quicker if my partner is complacent,
so complacent in the in love and in life, because
(30:51):
I'm like, I want you to like show me some zest,
show me some passion, some excitement for your life, excitement
for me for love, Like I want to feel that,
you know, and if you don't have that, and it's
just me like.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
Yeah, I like yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
Taurus expects loyalty, but sometimes confuses stability with stagnation. Confuses
stability with stagnation. That confused me a little bit, like
they feel like they're doing it, but they're not doing
it enough.
Speaker 5 (31:33):
So Turus is just really big on loyalty, right, loyalty,
I think uh in the same way that thrilling when
with you like love can be thrilling. What might be
thrilling to you might not be thrilling to me. What
might be thrilling to me might not be throughing to you.
So that's where it's kind of weird for me. Loyalty
I think that like tauruses love that shit, but I'm like,
I don't know what you define loyalty confuses stability with stagnation.
(31:58):
I feel like they'll they and this is kind of
another way of saying like they will also get bored.
Like they also might like a little bit of drama too,
because they'll be like, oh, like this person but sometimes
confuses stability with sagnation, so they'll meet somebody be like
this person stable, but they're like they're stuck, Like huh.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
Douruses are a mystery to me.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
I will say I think that I know them, and
then I like hear something else and I'm like, I've
had Touris's best best best best friends, besty best friends,
two of them, and it's interesting, Like I feel like
I need to go back and like think of how
this applies Gemini expect effortless conversation may not account for
(33:03):
emotional depth.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
Interesting.
Speaker 4 (33:06):
Yeah, that's pretty funny.
Speaker 5 (33:07):
I mean That's what I always say about Geminis, right,
Like I always say that they're like no bumblebees that
just go from flower to flower.
Speaker 4 (33:14):
But they want everyone to be able to do what.
Speaker 5 (33:17):
They do, and not everybody can maybe be as open
as you know.
Speaker 4 (33:23):
But I find Geminis to be kind.
Speaker 1 (33:24):
Of like, yeah, so if you apply this to your sun,
your moon is like if it's your moon sign, emotional
expectations and how you react when they aren't met. Effortless
conversation may not account for emotional depth, so they expect
communication and how you re Yeah, okay, interesting Geminis. I
(33:46):
need to learn more about the air signs and a
little bit of the Earth signs. I know Virgo pretty well,
I feel like, and Capricorn pretty well.
Speaker 5 (33:55):
I feel like air signs are the ones that are
a little bit more like an anomaly for me, like
they are yeah, yeah, don't do this one. Cancer expects
unspoken emotional understanding, gets hurt when partners don't into it,
their needs, into it, their needs, like have intuition. I
literally just said this. Cancers, I believe are. I think
(34:17):
cancers are a little bit tit for tat and they
have and they have I said crazy expectations. What I
should have said was intense expectations, where they expect that
the person that they love and the way that they
express their love, they expect the person to do it
exactly or.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
If not more, which is the core of this whole episode.
They are the kings and queens.
Speaker 4 (34:42):
Of emotional expectations. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (34:45):
And then with that, and then the other thing too
that they're not maybe ready to hear is that they
can be vengeful if they're hurt or It's funny because
cancers are really good at holding grudges, I feel, but
they they'll be like, I'm fine, but I'm like, nah,
it's dormant. It's in there, that expectation, it's in there.
Speaker 4 (35:07):
Leo.
Speaker 5 (35:08):
Leo expects to be adored, but sometimes overlooks their partner's needs.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
Yeah, I know, I know, I know Leo's that I
am very close with. And yes, I think sometimes with
with maybe low frequency Leo's or and I don't I
don't just want to put it on like your low frequency,
(35:33):
but like people who are maybe the beginning of their
healing journey, I think they yeah, expect to be adored,
but it overlooks their partner's needs. In a way of
like outsourcing validation and not really acknowledging, like, oh well,
what if my partner needs that same validation themselves. Like,
(35:56):
but the thing is is Leo's want to be loved
as well, and they actually, I think they really care
about their partner's opinion and sometimes they need that that
to be addressed before they invest in their partner's needs.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
Sometimes it's so.
Speaker 5 (36:15):
Interesting because I feel like, for me Leo's I only
know female Leos, and I find them to be very tearing,
like very like are you okay?
Speaker 4 (36:26):
Did you eat? Like they're very like motherly, I guess,
but yeah, I can think of any Leo men off.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
The my brother and my dad. Oh anyway, Virgo.
Speaker 5 (36:43):
I feel like when it comes to like toxic trades
from all the signs, I'm like, are we talking about
straight men?
Speaker 4 (36:47):
Because then yes, you.
Speaker 5 (36:49):
Know, yeah Virgo, what did I It's so funny when
you were like, what what do you think Virgo expects?
Speaker 4 (36:54):
As like perfection?
Speaker 1 (36:58):
Is this Virgo expects for and struggles with small disappointments.
Speaker 5 (37:02):
I feel like with me I as a Virgo speaking
for a healed Virgos, I think that I actually don't
expect perfection. I'm very okay with.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
You expect it of yourself.
Speaker 5 (37:14):
I think that for me, it's not that I expect perfection,
It's that I expect growth.
Speaker 4 (37:18):
That's me.
Speaker 5 (37:19):
Like if I'm growing, if I'm learning, if I'm doing
all these things, if I'm doing a lot of work
to get better to know, I also expect you to
do that too. And I am disappointed when people are
stuck in their old habits, you know. Like I've been
known to tell people like, how are you mean by people?
I mean like people in my family or my parents,
And I'm like, how are you like in your sixties
(37:40):
and you're still worried about stuff that you're worried about
in your thirties. You still have the same habits, you know?
I have those like disappointments. I would say, interesting, what's
on her? What Libra huh puts on her lip?
Speaker 4 (37:52):
Bus?
Speaker 1 (37:54):
Try this is Ariana Grande's Is she popped off with
this lip glass? It's the glossy bomb strawberry soda. It's
just a perfect pink.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
It's gorgeous, good.
Speaker 4 (38:07):
Just good.
Speaker 3 (38:09):
Well.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
Libra expects harmony but avoids necessary conflict. Hell motherfucking yeah,
I've lived with two libras. And I think this is
because aries are like where the sister signs where the
opposite signs. So for me, Aries is the god of war.
Speaker 2 (38:35):
It's it's Mars.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
It rules Mars, which is conflict. So whenever I've been
around living with the Libra that I lived with, two
Libras that I lived with, they they just expected everything
to be like what is it called the hunky door?
I don't know that means like calm and peaceful, And
yet they wouldn't address what needed to. They were two
faced a little bit where they were fake, where.
Speaker 2 (38:59):
They weren't a to I'm like, just say it, just
say it, like what what?
Speaker 4 (39:05):
Just say your chest?
Speaker 2 (39:07):
Yeah, I'm like say it? What say it?
Speaker 1 (39:09):
Like yeah, maybe that's why they didn't want to tell me. Actually, yeah,
I think this is uh. This and all of these
kind of seem like maybe the achilles heel, the kind
of little the wound that are signs whether they're in
our rising sun or moon, the things we might need.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
To look out for or.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
Yeah, just be aware of.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
But have you have you seen that with the libra?
Speaker 5 (39:36):
Libras are the one sign that I'm actually learning about
in real time, Like I don't libras and like I
always make this joke that I'm like what I feel
like all of their toxic trades I'm just not afraid of,
Like like aries they're gonna beat me up, Capricorns they're
gonna kill me and bury me alive, Virgos are gonna
hurt me with their words, where I'll just go kill myself.
Like everybody has a toxic trade, you know, Geminis, they
(39:59):
do all this stuff that you're like every everyone has
some libras and like, so you can't make a fucking decision.
I'm not afraid of that. Neither can I don't know
what I want for dinner. I don't know what I
want for breakfast. I don't even know what I want
to wear today, Like big whoop. Like I'm just not
threatened by like libra toxic traits. You know.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
Well, the thing is is there.
Speaker 1 (40:15):
They are the planet or the sign of beauty they
are attached to. I think it's either Taurus or Libra
is attached to Venus. But Taurus and Libra love to
be in Venus. So whenever you have a Venus Libra
or Venus Taurus like you are, I think you're.
Speaker 4 (40:33):
Beautiful and who's afraid of that? I'm not afraid of
That's why I'm like whatever, That's why I'm like, girl.
Speaker 2 (40:37):
Just say what you need to say. You have pretty privilege.
Speaker 1 (40:40):
They will, they will understand.
Speaker 5 (40:43):
Laural Lee empress Of says that she feels she's a Libra.
She says that she feels like a really cute glitter
lip gloss. She's like, certainly the ones you have to
reapply like fairly frequently, but I feel like a glitter
lip glass.
Speaker 2 (40:56):
She and we just had her on the podcast.
Speaker 7 (40:58):
She's definitely old Libra where she's she's very vocal about
things and she you can tell that she's had to
work on that, and it's it's cool because she shares
that through her music, which is a creative thing.
Speaker 1 (41:11):
And she's beautiful and her music is beauty. You know.
So a Scorpio says expects deep loyalty but maybe overly suspicious.
Speaker 4 (41:23):
This kind of took me because as a double Scorpio.
Speaker 2 (41:26):
I was like, oh, a hundred percent. You guys are like,
you want to be my friend. If you want to,
you do.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
Why But I'm just I'm just a girl.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
I'm weird. I'm quirky. Sure, why, yes it is. I'm like,
you want to hold my hand.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
Because you look you want to hug? Why because you
look like you need a hug. You're literally sobbing right now?
Do I have that fa You guys are a black
eyeliner that's nice, like eyeliner, dried mascara, tears, And I'm
just like, oh my god.
Speaker 2 (42:12):
Sometimes yeah, you're like, it's okay, it's not that serious.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
It's fine. And I feel like I'm like the squishy,
like eat you gake a meal?
Speaker 2 (42:22):
What happened?
Speaker 6 (42:23):
We did?
Speaker 4 (42:24):
Let me.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
Always sometimes when it's deserved, and the scorpios are like,
I don't know. I'm just I'm just a stray dog.
Speaker 2 (42:37):
I'm a straight cat. I'm like, do you want food?
Speaker 4 (42:39):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (42:41):
I feel like I know how to get into the
belly of the beast.
Speaker 5 (42:44):
I do feel like I have a mangy cat and
oh expects freedom but sometimes resists commitment.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
Oh my god, I feel.
Speaker 5 (42:58):
Like hairs are just on top of their shit. I'm
always like, yeah, but commitment to what depends on what
it is. Commitment to work, they're great, commitment to like
getting a task it's done, They're wonderful.
Speaker 4 (43:08):
You know, like commitment to what relationships.
Speaker 2 (43:12):
Well, they're runners, they're track stars.
Speaker 4 (43:15):
So perfect. I'll see you on the field.
Speaker 2 (43:19):
I'm not running. You will never see me on that field.
I'm taking ten minutes to walk the mile. So Capricorned, to.
Speaker 1 (43:29):
My God'll be like, maya hussle and I'd be like like, oh,
this is fat baux bag. Capricorn expects commitment but struggles
with emotional vulnerability.
Speaker 4 (43:44):
Yep, that's all I gotta say about that.
Speaker 1 (43:46):
That's all I gotta say about that. Aquarius. Wait, let
me give a little love to Capricorns because we've we've
gotten some If you look at our reviews, there's there's
a couple of reviews that are like, this is their
Dobin ship though I've I ever heard. I'm like, cause
you're a straight man, probably.
Speaker 2 (44:01):
Have not gotten.
Speaker 1 (44:03):
I don't know. Anyway, I don't want to say, let's
not say Capricorns are stars period. So I feel like
they've had some things in their lives where they've had
to h they felt unsafe with emotional vulnerability, you know,
so they've always had to rely on themselves for things,
(44:24):
and that's why they're so good at They are so
good at trusting themselves. Yeah, okay, calm down, Aquarius.
Speaker 2 (44:35):
Independence. Why are you making at phase You're grimacing, I'm smiling.
Speaker 1 (44:42):
Aquarius expects the Aquarius expects independence, but sometimes forgets emotional connection.
Aquarius are like aliens, and I'm lucky. If I get
to talk to an Aquarius for a long time, that
means they've they've picked me. I'm a pick mey girl
for Aquarius.
Speaker 5 (45:02):
I love Chris much. I feel like I am the
way that I am because of my dad. But I'm like, whatever,
fuck it, let's go.
Speaker 4 (45:08):
You know.
Speaker 5 (45:09):
Also, my cousin says I need to smile more in pictures.
She says I need to practice. So I've been practicing,
and I was being sincere and smiling.
Speaker 2 (45:20):
This isn't a picture.
Speaker 1 (45:23):
Pisces expects soulmates, but may overlook red flags.
Speaker 2 (45:29):
Say this soul.
Speaker 5 (45:32):
Yeah, because they want to heal them. I literally just
put some thing up on TikTok that I was like,
why do you Why do you guys keep picking toxic
people and they're because.
Speaker 4 (45:40):
We want to fix them.
Speaker 5 (45:41):
And you know what, even with the ocean of love
that you have to offer, you can heal him.
Speaker 6 (45:49):
Maybe unexpected you can't change him just a little change small,
to say the least.
Speaker 4 (46:04):
I agree with that reviewer.
Speaker 1 (46:07):
Yeah, this reviewer was like, this is the dumbest ship
I've ever heard. They literally are like, who would give
these people a platform?
Speaker 2 (46:15):
What are you fucking talking about? We've had him, we did.
We're personality hires.
Speaker 1 (46:23):
I've been a person I've been a personality hire since
I was born.
Speaker 2 (46:29):
I know my job. I get it done and do what.
Speaker 1 (46:33):
You're just mad that we're getting paid for.
Speaker 4 (46:34):
It, you bitch, I know, but he's not wrong. And
what anyways? Anyway, sir, and.
Speaker 1 (46:44):
That the astrology portion of the podcast, Miss.
Speaker 5 (46:49):
Well my, here we are, the expectations and how we feel.
We're also getting closer to the end of the season.
Speaker 2 (46:58):
Is this the last episode known? Next week?
Speaker 5 (47:00):
Yeah, so hopefully we can have we can expect to
see you guys again soon.
Speaker 4 (47:06):
But I think that you know, we're here, we are
in life, and we are.
Speaker 5 (47:10):
I think that when it comes to expectations, expect to
have a good time, expect to live your best life, Diva,
because you can certainly expect to die and it's all
not gonna matter, So you know, keep doing you sis?
Speaker 4 (47:25):
What about you, mama?
Speaker 1 (47:25):
How do you plead, I chick an edible. I take
edibles after podcast days specifically because don't you feel like
your mouth you can't talk anymore?
Speaker 2 (47:38):
After podcast days?
Speaker 1 (47:40):
Well, we're talking for like two hours straight.
Speaker 4 (47:43):
That's the only thing I'm good at. I was talking
for hours, so no.
Speaker 1 (47:47):
Okay, Well I listen expectations. They can make you or
break you. Right, flow, let go of control.
Speaker 2 (47:57):
But also stand on business. Okay.
Speaker 1 (48:02):
And maybe you're just not compatible or maybe you're just
not like you know. That's that's communication is everything, So
just communicate.
Speaker 4 (48:12):
Yes, it is.
Speaker 1 (48:14):
It's honest time. So can we try to do a harmony?
Speaker 4 (48:24):
Here? You go find.
Speaker 2 (48:25):
It more time over time you.
Speaker 1 (48:39):
Okay, just cut that part so that we do it
the time that we started, so that we do we started.
Thank you so much for listening to another episode of
the Super Secret Bestie Club podcast Curly.
Speaker 2 (48:52):
How can they find You? On social media?
Speaker 5 (48:54):
You can find me at the Curly V shows in Victor,
on Instagram and TikTok.
Speaker 4 (49:00):
Where can you find you?
Speaker 1 (49:01):
May You can find me at Maya in the Moment,
at a Ya in the Moment, anywhere you scroll. Bye
sh shap Here's Gopy's version.
Speaker 2 (49:15):
Who Liz all this time.
Speaker 1 (49:17):
Oh no, that's Kermit, Oh goodbye. Make sure to hit
that subscribe button to hear more episodes every single week.
The Super Secret Bestie Club podcast is a production of
Sonodo in partnership with iHeartRadio's Michael Thuda podcast Network.
Speaker 3 (49:34):
For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Oh my gosh, I'm so exciting. My bad Bunny robot
came in. Okay, let me open it.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Oh, here's a button to turn it on. Boopponon. Sorry,
maybe the setting is wrong.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Let me change the language to French French juices. Sorry,
bad bunny robot. Aren't you supposed to be bad bunny
or hi close? Not quite?
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Maybe a mediocre bunny, maybe so buddy, maybe a little
titty buddy.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
This did not No, this did not meet my expectations.
I was not expecting this.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Wow. I uh.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
My name is Curly and I'm Maya and Welcome to
the Super Secret Crusty Clouds Podcast, a super club where
we talked about super secret things.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Like secrets that are super That's what it is.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
In each episode, we'll talk about love, friendship, heartbreaks, men,
and of course favorite secrets.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
Get in here.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Oh my God, by Bunny, I love your work, By Team,
I love you work.
Speaker 5 (01:28):
My made me listen to that entire album in Hawaii
from number one to whatever number song.
Speaker 4 (01:35):
I cried at the end of the album, It's good,
It's so good.
Speaker 5 (01:38):
I didn't think I'm not really a bad bunny song
and I think that I might have track for this,
but I think that his voice can become a little monotonous.
It's like from the same part of his It's like, you.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Know, see, you actually do a great impression.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
And we can say this because we've met that bunny.
Speaker 5 (02:03):
So yeah, I feel like he sings from like both
the back of his throat, but like in his chest
or his stomach.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
And then and he's got a fast virato.
Speaker 4 (02:15):
It's like he's like, is not so it's so mad
at me?
Speaker 5 (02:23):
And I'm like, I can't hear a whole album with
this man just like sounding crazy out here?
Speaker 2 (02:29):
How's your spirit?
Speaker 4 (02:31):
Spirit's good?
Speaker 5 (02:32):
I just like, I just got this really cool thing
off of TikTok. It's called Evil Goods. It's like whipped
tallow honey bomb. It's supposed to be like this is
not I'm not gonna show because it's not a commercial,
but it supposed to make you look super young because
supposedly Sai puts FA on her face. So then I
decided I was going to put that on my face.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Too, right, And you can say that because she's your
friend exactly.
Speaker 5 (02:56):
I yeah, you know what somehi is my friend. We
met one in an interview and she called me and
the rest is history.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
I'm like true love. Sounds like true love.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
My spirit is good. I washed my hair, and honestly,
I've been using those crimpers. I feel like everyone's crimping
their hair again. Not that like super good thank you,
not like the super tiny crimper, but like the Beachway
type of things with like the three the girlies know
(03:30):
what I'm talking about, Like that the three little prong
clamp thing. Yeah, I've been using that and it's been
frying the shit out of my hair.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
So I had to stop. And now I'm in repair mode.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Oh well, yeah, I'm in repair mode now because when
I don't use any heat on my hair and just
leave it alone, it grows so fast. But whenever I
straighten it or do my little tricks with it, it starts
breaking off like crazy.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
So you know, you really trying to your hair.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
I'm trying, and it's not because I hate my hair.
It's because I love to change my look and I
love a good little like. You know, I do my
hair like very big and juryous, and.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
I wish I could do that. I was just thinking
about that yesterday.
Speaker 5 (04:19):
But how girls can change their hair and do a
bunch of different things like they can change their look
according to how they want to dress, and.
Speaker 4 (04:25):
Like I can't really do that with guy hair.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Welcome to the other episode. Everyone.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
This episode, we're gonna be talking about expectations. I just
had this thing, Like I've had this my entire life.
My mom has told me this all the time. Lower
your expectations or just don't expect anything. You shouldn't do
anything to expect anything. You should do things out of
the goodness of your heart because you know. And I'm like, hey,
(04:56):
she's right, she's right. But I struggle with it because,
like chat GBT says, expectations often exist in our minds,
but we assume others understand and operate by the same rules.
So this can be expectations for friendships, for co workers,
(05:18):
for relationships, romantic relationships, expectations for yourself. It's I'm just
I just want to ask some questions and dive into
it of like are we hindering ourselves for having them?
Or are they necessary boundaries? Are they good or bad?
Speaker 6 (05:35):
Like?
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Because sometimes expectations are like you have high expectations for yourself, right,
so then can you have those same high expectations for
other people?
Speaker 6 (05:46):
Like?
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Is that just something where you feel self love, where
you're like, this is the new standard and I expect
this or is it control? And are you just kind
of obsessed with the outcome and things fitting into your
standard and you know, like it's I don't know, what
do you think?
Speaker 4 (06:06):
Right off the bat?
Speaker 5 (06:06):
We were talking yesterday and I was like, I think everybody.
I think to me, the healthy way to do anything
in life is to have like a balance, right like
the middle way as they say in Buddhism, which we'll
get into a little later, but I was like, we
kind of all have expectations every day, right Like we
all expect to wake up tomorrow. I expect to get
into my car with its internal combustion engine and for
(06:28):
it to start working.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
You know. I expect you expect your man to stay loyal,
we hope, you know.
Speaker 5 (06:37):
And I expected Trump to lose and he didn't. So
sometimes you're just like, uh, you know, but I think
we all kind of have expectations every day, and I
think that that kind of is what makes us. I
think it's deeper than it almost feels like there's different
forms of expectations, right like, because I think that when
(06:59):
you put X lotions on people and friendships and stuff
like that. It goes back to I think you said
it where you were like, well, this is what I
would have done, this is what I would have handled it.
But I think that for me me personally, and I
want to know what you think too. I think that
it's important to have expectations of people, because otherwise what's
(07:21):
the answer. You're just like a like a little dead
little rock. You're like, it's fine, I don't expect no
one to do anything exactly.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
It's like, is it a form of self love? Where
you're like, this is what I deserve. I deserve to
be treated kindly. I deserve to be and it's like, yes,
I deserve to be considered. But whenever my expectations are
let down, whenever I'm let down, it is the end
(07:51):
of the world for me. I feel like I revert
back to like a younger version of myself who remembers
constantly being let down, whether it was by a parent figure,
by an older sibling, by a teacher, by myself, you know,
and then having this kind of complex that I would
(08:13):
I never want to make anyone feel like that. So
I'm going to show up. I'm going to overcompensate. I'm
going to make sure that everybody feels considered, And then
when I don't feel considered, I'm like I would never
like how could somebody ever do that? I could never
do that not knowing that, like they don't know your language,
(08:34):
Like they don't know like the code of or the
triggers yet you know.
Speaker 5 (08:40):
Yeah, Well, I feel like there's certain things like you
should expect to be respected, right, You should expect to
be safe, you should expect.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
To be all these things.
Speaker 5 (08:46):
But some people I think have expectations that are a
little bit like, you know, I expect my man to
pay for everything and take care of me.
Speaker 4 (08:56):
I don't know about that one.
Speaker 5 (08:57):
Like I expect, you know, my woman to go into
the kitchen and make me a sandwich. Well, bitch, you're
about to get some you know what I mean. Like,
there's a lot of different things that I feel like
you kind of have to ask yourself where your own
compasses in terms of like morale or like progression, progressiveness
or being conservative or wherever you're at, and then decide
what your expectations are. Because I think that if you
(09:20):
expect people to do, you know, on a larger scale, right,
if there's men who expect women to act a certain
type of way or women who expect men to ec
certent type of way, Like I hope you are disappointed.
I hope you do get disappointed. I hope you do
get upset, Like nobody owes you anything in that aspect.
But if you're like, no, I expect that when people
(09:40):
come like with me, for example, like in our in
our family, like we if somebody new comes into the house,
we as a family expect them to settle that right
like say hi, say hello, like you don't live here,
like we have different expectations all around.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
But so I have a question too, like when it
comes to someone you're dating, and if they constantly if
you're constantly feeling like you're let down by those by
the expectations you have, but you vocalized it to them
over and over again, maybe they keep forgetting or maybe
(10:18):
they just are not you know, reciprocating, Like then when
does it become a conversation of like, hey, but not
in such a harsh way where it's like you're not
meeting my expectations. Goodbye, yeah, and then they fall into
(10:39):
the trap door.
Speaker 4 (10:43):
Robert, what are you doing here?
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Well?
Speaker 2 (10:47):
You didn't meet her expectations. Did you know? What did
you do?
Speaker 6 (10:52):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Michael Chad, Michael not Chad, never.
Speaker 4 (10:58):
Dated Chad, never say never.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Never and no more j names?
Speaker 4 (11:10):
What do you do? What do you think? How do
you answer that I'm asking you?
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Like, like, when does it become?
Speaker 2 (11:19):
Is it the end? Is it over?
Speaker 1 (11:20):
If they just don't try?
Speaker 5 (11:22):
Well, that's kind of really interesting that you would say
that to me, right because in a lot of my relationships,
so I'm a virgo, I'm a virgo avoidant slash secure
and a lot of.
Speaker 4 (11:34):
Basically very warm.
Speaker 5 (11:36):
But sometimes in relationships, I don't necessarily know how to
give people the sort of emotion, the sort of reactiveness
or reactions to what they want.
Speaker 4 (11:45):
Like I'm the type of.
Speaker 5 (11:46):
Person if you were to be like I'm going to leave,
I'd be like wonderful, Like I don't know what to
tell you if you want to.
Speaker 4 (11:52):
Leave, I don't know what to tell you. I don't
But it doesn't mean that I don't care.
Speaker 5 (12:02):
It just means that I don't know how to like,
I don't the way that I see it as almost
like bigger picture, right, like you're anger or your sadness
when attached to an outcome is where the pain kind
of comes from, right, Like, so whatever that is, like
if I'm like, look, I would love for you to stay,
(12:22):
but if you want to go? Why would I want
someone to stay who wants to go? So it gets
kind of hard because I'm like, I don't know what
the right answer to that is, Like I don't know,
Like when it comes to relationship, like if like, for example,
if I say to you, you know, I have a
certain thing happening where someone is asking of me to
(12:43):
be more vocal about my emotions in terms of being
sweet in my language, I don't have that. I didn't
grow up like that either. You know, we were very
sweet with each other in kind, but like I think,
like I didn't grow up in a household where people
were like.
Speaker 4 (13:05):
Like I don't I don't know what the fuck I'd
be like, bitch, get off of me. When I don't.
Speaker 5 (13:18):
Know, you know what my love language is, my languguage
is like damn, you're fucking fine as fuck. And when
we get home, I'm a fucking bounce on that base.
And then before and then after that, I'm taking you
to fucking I don't know, get chocolate tudor or some
ship or maybe I'll give you a chocolate tutor.
Speaker 4 (13:31):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
Oh yes, well yes, I feel like a part of
my undiagnosed O C d ADHD and who.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
Knows what else is in there.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
It's a grab bag pu anything out of there, and
I'd be like that makes sense? No, yeah, yeah, yeah, unmedicated,
but feel buy weed anyway?
Speaker 4 (13:57):
I mean the doo witters. I mean.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Is I feel like I have an attachment to outcomes
when it comes to events, like I build high expectations,
almost a fantasy thing where I'm like, I'm gonna go
I'm going to see someone that's cute. They're going to
walk up to me and they're gonna say you are cute,
(14:22):
can't get you own now?
Speaker 4 (14:25):
And it did happen to you? And you were like no.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
Because they were a nineteen year old baby.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
It was at Disneyland. He was shorter than me, had
a pudgy, pudgy baby face and asked me. Came up
to me this this fool came up to me and
said how old are you? And I said how old
am I? He's like, yeah, how old are you? I'm
(14:53):
like thirty one? When you're listening to this thirty two.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
And he's because my birthday.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
Anyway, and he was, oh, well, could I have your
Instagram or your number? I go no, no, exactly like that,
I know, and he goes he was like, oh, I
just wanted to tell you that, you know, you look good.
Speaker 5 (15:22):
You look good.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (15:28):
I love that you're waiting for your girlfriend in the bathroom, right.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Hurry up, she's all tamped up. Just take me a
long time for Oh my friend she got like children
at Disneyland and had her period.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
At the same time. So you know, not.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Only were not only was I waiting for in line,
I was waiting for her in the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
So let me Carmen.
Speaker 5 (15:55):
Oh not her name, No, she lives.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
Yeah, So I didn't expect that to happen.
Speaker 5 (16:20):
So maybe you have to be a little bit more
specific in your fantasies and your expectations.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Well, I am, and then I get disappointed.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
And then you know, if it's an event where like
a singles event or like something just like a work event,
I'm like, I'm gonna go and this is gonna happen.
And then I come home because none of that happened,
and I'm like fuck and I get really upset. Of
(16:46):
course it didn't happen like I throw a fit.
Speaker 5 (16:50):
You know, I don't feel like whatever part of my
brain I honestly I don't know how to explain it
to people, but I feel like I just got booped
in the head hard enough for like my madula upland
gata is just like it doesn't have a lot of
expectations on people because I just don't care.
Speaker 4 (17:04):
Like I just don't have like a thing where I'm
like for better for worse.
Speaker 5 (17:07):
I actually I was telling my cousin why. I was like,
I don't care about a lot of things and like
where I feel like sometimes it can frustrate people because
they'll be like, no, I want I want you to
care and what I don't like?
Speaker 4 (17:18):
Why am I going to get upset with something I
just like I don't have.
Speaker 5 (17:23):
There's I think we've talked about this before, like between
me and you, where I'm like, there's nothing in my
brain that goes like I don't know what I forgot
where it was like you got.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
Me drinking coffee at five pm?
Speaker 5 (17:40):
Oh what was it the other day where I was
like I was just like, yeah, I just don't feel
like that sort of energy.
Speaker 4 (17:48):
Oh, because.
Speaker 5 (17:51):
But the one thing that I will say, and it
links back to the whole thing of like I'd give
you this, so why can't you give me this in reciprocation?
Speaker 4 (17:59):
Right?
Speaker 5 (18:00):
And I do start to care? Is that because I
don't care so much? I don't like when people do
care about something that I do. So, like, let's say,
like with fashion, right, Like oh maybe fashion, I do care,
but with certain things when people do it to me,
Like why if I say something's ugly and they're like, oh, curly,
don't say that, like that's not very curly thin to say,
like you would never call it ugly? And I'm like,
(18:21):
why can't I be mean once in a while? Why
can't I? Like, you know, I I called one of
my exes, I'm sorry. I called one of my cousin's exes.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
A thumb and my that's there's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 5 (18:32):
And my family was like, don't call them a thumb.
And I'm like, I'm I'm getting the protective of my
family member.
Speaker 4 (18:38):
That person's a thumb, but I'm not allowed to do that.
Speaker 5 (18:41):
When somebody else is like fuck her either, I'm like,
that's you, Like, you know, like that's your feelings, Like
I don't police people, and I feel like people police
me a lot and that and I expect people not
to police mem.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
But see, the solution to that is communication, you know.
And I think that's the biggest thing of all of
this stuff is when we get especially when it comes
to like communication with relationships and friends, those are like
because our expectations, boundaries or what like, it feels like
such a weird ass like word and kind of mystical
(19:17):
thing that it is just exists. And yet it I
feel like, yeah, there's there's a lot of attachment to
Attachments are another thing, you know, because we're attaching to
serve a part of our narrative or to.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
Kind of.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
In a way feed our trauma and our ego. Yeah,
but what you think about this next.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Part is really good? The next part is good.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
Are you gonna read that?
Speaker 4 (19:46):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (19:46):
So basically what we were talking about yesterday is you
were like what you had asked me, like, what is
the root of this kind what is the root of
all of this? Like why our expectations so why do
they weigh so heavy on us? And I was like,
I really think that it's truly just the ego, right, Like,
I think that talking about Buddhism, I talk about it
with Johnny Pachuga, one of my listons all the time,
(20:07):
where we like say that like when you're attached for
the show, yes, who has been the guests on the show,
When you have attachment to something an outcome, it really
is rooted an ego. CHATCHYBT was talking about. In Buddhism,
it teaches that attachment to expectations can lead to suffering. Expectations,
particularly when they are rigid or unrealistic, can create disappointment
(20:28):
when things don't go as hoped. This is closely related
to the Buddhist concept of craving and clinging, which are
seen as the root cause of suffering. So it's kind
of like if you expect somebody to do something, if
you don't have that expectation, you're never going to get hurt.
But you also don't want to be those people that
It's like, well, if you don't expect nothing, you'll never
get hurt. It's like, bitch, you can expect some shit
(20:50):
like no, expect to find love, expect to find happiness, Expect.
Speaker 4 (20:54):
Like I deserve that, you know what I mean? Like
it's not like if I don't.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
To hear that you deserve that I.
Speaker 4 (21:03):
Deserve that I'll never get hurt if that doesn't happen.
Blah blah blah blah. Like No, that's like.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
Saying just don't care, just careless.
Speaker 5 (21:11):
Exactly, just careless, which is true. It's not bad. It's
not like moderation shad well, like it's not inherently bad.
But if you're like we at that point, you're just
brain dead if you don't care about anything, like exactly,
but like what do you think? Like you know, it
goes back to what we were talking about too. That
in Buddhism, the big thing that they talk about, and
one of the things that I always say is like
(21:31):
it's the middle path, right, like everything in moderation, like
the minute that you go too hard or heavy into
one thing, it just becomes toxic. So for me, I
just think about the universe. I think about they say,
the only constant in this universe is changed, right, it's movement.
And in fashion, when you make clothes or when you
so close together your seams on the side like here,
(21:54):
like we leave extra seam allowance so that if you
get thicker or you get skinnier, you and take it
in like we won't necessarily like take away the seam allowance.
And so I think to myself, like, how do we
give our expectations a little bit of wiggle room, a
little bit of that steam allowance, to allow for like
a fluctuation, because as I always say, like in the universe,
(22:15):
just one law of everything is that everything fluctuates, the waves,
you know, our lungs, the waves, everything, earthquakes, moods, the skies, like,
everything fluctuates. And so I think allowing that wiggle room
for your expectations on people within reason, which we'll get
to too, is I think you have your set your boundary,
(22:40):
and we'll talk about that too.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
But yeah, and I think the way I used to
view going to different events, like I said before, I
would break my own heart, hurt myself a lot because
I had high expectations for a lot of these things,
because it boiled down to control. I think grow up.
I felt like, like my mom was a guest on
(23:05):
the episode on an episode before, and I don't know
if people caught this, but I didn't say it.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
In real time.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
She was like, you just maya just grew up, you know,
being so mature for her age. And you know when
therapists usually like clock that it's because the child had
to be like uh, because there's no control in the
home and they had to grow up a little bit
faster and not saying that they you know, put us
(23:35):
in any like really horrible harm's way. But my parents
are eccentric and they are you know, uh artists, and
so there's a lot of off the wall shit that
we did that made my brain be like, Okay, are
they accounting for this? No, Okay, I'm gonna overcompensate so
that this I'm gonna remind my mom, I'm gonna remind
(23:57):
my dad like those That's just the type of stuff
that I had to like, do you know? So I
did grow up a little faster because I felt like
I at times was not in a space where you know,
And this is stuff my parents and I talk about
all the time, like you know, we totally dissect dissect
(24:17):
like that moment in time where you know, and so
we've talked about it a lot, so I feel comfortable
sharing it. But the thing that they've also taught me is,
on the other hand, you have to let things flow.
Like I understand releasing your expectations when it comes to
things you cannot control, like an event like a birthday,
(24:39):
party outcome like a friend outcome, or a day a
first date. Because I'm not God, I'm not the universe,
I'm not in I'm in charge.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
In some way.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
But there are things that we have all felt, religion,
spirituality or not that are out of our control that
just happen. And I think it's about working on flowing
rather than controlling, and especially when it comes to relationships,
(25:11):
like not expecting people to read your mind and not
expecting perfection, but also not settling for crumbs.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
And I think the reason why.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
We default to maybe these expectations and feeling a little
bit sad when they don't work out or someone disappoints
us is because we're not addressing the bigger issue, which
is communicating and advocating for yourself and your needs. Yeah,
and if that other person isn't allowed, isn't capable of
meeting you at that place, the compatibility is just off
(25:43):
and that's fine.
Speaker 5 (25:44):
And that's okay, Yeah, because that's that's kind of the
other thing too, Like if you get to the point
where you're like, we're just not compatible, We're just not
hearing each other, Like there's nothing wrong with that as well, Like,
you know, to the point of somebody telling me you
you're not as gott inyos as I'd like you to be.
But I am trying and I am practicing, but it's
not meeting your standards. Like the other person has to
make a decision in terms of like, well, what do
(26:04):
I want to do? And I think that it's a
two answer too, right, Like it's not just about expectations,
it's also just about what are your own parameters, what
are your own boundaries day? What are you willing to
put up with? And what are you willing to be?
Like we tried, we really gave it our all, and
I'm just like not because that's why I've left a
lot of my relationships. I'm like, you know what, I
just we're just not compatible and that's okay. We're We're
(26:28):
not bad people in that sense. There's nothing wrong. I mean,
there's nothing wrong with some people. But like, you know,
I think it goes back to what can you put
up with? Because at the end of the day, you
get to choose how you're going to react to stuff.
You get to choose what your behavior is going to
be and also like at the end of the day,
like it's really about having conversations I think, with yourself
and your and your community in terms of like am
(26:50):
I expecting too much?
Speaker 4 (26:51):
Is this too wild?
Speaker 5 (26:52):
Because sometimes with me, like all my best friends, all
of you guys like to tease me when you're like,
what's the butt?
Speaker 4 (26:58):
Like what did the guy do?
Speaker 5 (27:00):
Like, Okay, he sounds cool, but what's the thing that, like,
you know, is not what you're expecting. It's not meeting
your expectations. And I'm like, I don't know, he has
like a weird he's weird coffee breath all the time,
you know. But I think that you're right in terms
of communication, getting your opinion out there and your point
out there, hoping that you can meet somewhere in the middle.
(27:22):
But I don't believe that expectations are a bad thing.
Speaker 4 (27:25):
Unless.
Speaker 5 (27:28):
Unless they are in a space of being rigid, and
unless they are in a space of like.
Speaker 4 (27:32):
Wanting to control people.
Speaker 5 (27:34):
But you know, I'm for sure my parents were expecting
me to be straight, but we got them there kid.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
Jokes on you.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
Yeah, And it's also like, are these expectations that I
have on other people? Are they realistic, mutual communicated clearly,
but most importantly realistic, Like it am I expecting them
to do the same thing that I would do? Or
is it, yeah, like just a rigid type of thing
that like, you know, you should show up.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
I don't know, it's it's yeah.
Speaker 5 (28:08):
Because it's like is it tip for tat The other
thing that I did here too, by the way, is
that if you're really good at something, let's just say, right,
you're really good at expressing yourself emotionally and you're like,
I'm old or whatever, I feel this way and you're
really just expressive with your words, and the person that
you're not. There's a lot of the person that you're
with isn't there's a lot of people that say, like
(28:30):
you should reflect the energy, reflect the energy. But at
the same time, I heard somebody else say, like, just
because they're not good at what they do doesn't mean
that you have to be bad at it too, So
just keep doing it for you, Like you don't have
to be Like, you don't have to change behavior that's
actually amazing that you do already, Like you don't have
to stop being a caretaker, being sweet, you know, because
(28:51):
they aren't. You can just choose to like move it
elsewhere and just do it with some other people who
either might reciprocate in the way that you would like
for them to do or where you know you just
keep it moving. And I think the best thing about
having being alive is that you get to choose how
you maneuver in a lot of ways.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
I would say, welcome to the astrology portion of the podcast.
All right, we got some It's going to be a
bit because I'm not a bit, but it's going to
be a little bit of a lot because I'm going
through all the signs about expectations. We're going to go
(29:32):
through the sun, Moon and rising signs sun sign in
terms of expectations, your sun sign is what you expect
from life and others. Your Moon sign emotional expectations and
how you react when they aren't met. Rising sign expectations
people have of you versus what you actually deliver. So
(29:53):
if you know your rising and your moon and your
sun sign, you could apply these to those. If you
need to to figure out what that is, go to
Cafe astrology dot com, any any astrology page. Type in
your birthday, your birth time to the tea exactly location
you were born and it'll give you all that stuff.
(30:14):
So Aries expects love to be thrilling twenty four to seven,
but may struggle when things settle.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
And this is a Chatgibt. That's like.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
You don't think kind of I'm a I'm an Aries,
sun Moon and Venus. So yeah, sometimes when things kind
of hit a lull, I'm like, he they fucking hate me,
We're gonna break up. And not that I'm bored, but
I do get bored quicker if my partner is complacent,
so complacent in the in love and in life, because
(30:51):
I'm like, I want you to like show me some zest,
show me some passion, some excitement for your life, excitement
for me for love, Like I want to feel that,
you know, and if you don't have that, and it's
just me like.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
Yeah, I like yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
Taurus expects loyalty, but sometimes confuses stability with stagnation. Confuses
stability with stagnation. That confused me a little bit, like
they feel like they're doing it, but they're not doing
it enough.
Speaker 5 (31:33):
So Turus is just really big on loyalty, right, loyalty,
I think uh in the same way that thrilling when
with you like love can be thrilling. What might be
thrilling to you might not be thrilling to me. What
might be thrilling to me might not be throughing to you.
So that's where it's kind of weird for me. Loyalty
I think that like tauruses love that shit, but I'm like,
I don't know what you define loyalty confuses stability with stagnation.
(31:58):
I feel like they'll they and this is kind of
another way of saying like they will also get bored.
Like they also might like a little bit of drama too,
because they'll be like, oh, like this person but sometimes
confuses stability with sagnation, so they'll meet somebody be like
this person stable, but they're like they're stuck, Like huh.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
Douruses are a mystery to me.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
I will say I think that I know them, and
then I like hear something else and I'm like, I've
had Touris's best best best best friends, besty best friends,
two of them, and it's interesting, Like I feel like
I need to go back and like think of how
this applies Gemini expect effortless conversation may not account for
(33:03):
emotional depth.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
Interesting.
Speaker 4 (33:06):
Yeah, that's pretty funny.
Speaker 5 (33:07):
I mean That's what I always say about Geminis, right,
Like I always say that they're like no bumblebees that
just go from flower to flower.
Speaker 4 (33:14):
But they want everyone to be able to do what.
Speaker 5 (33:17):
They do, and not everybody can maybe be as open
as you know.
Speaker 4 (33:23):
But I find Geminis to be kind.
Speaker 1 (33:24):
Of like, yeah, so if you apply this to your sun,
your moon is like if it's your moon sign, emotional
expectations and how you react when they aren't met. Effortless
conversation may not account for emotional depth, so they expect
communication and how you re Yeah, okay, interesting Geminis. I
(33:46):
need to learn more about the air signs and a
little bit of the Earth signs. I know Virgo pretty well,
I feel like, and Capricorn pretty well.
Speaker 5 (33:55):
I feel like air signs are the ones that are
a little bit more like an anomaly for me, like
they are yeah, yeah, don't do this one. Cancer expects
unspoken emotional understanding, gets hurt when partners don't into it,
their needs, into it, their needs, like have intuition. I
literally just said this. Cancers, I believe are. I think
(34:17):
cancers are a little bit tit for tat and they
have and they have I said crazy expectations. What I
should have said was intense expectations, where they expect that
the person that they love and the way that they
express their love, they expect the person to do it
exactly or.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
If not more, which is the core of this whole episode.
They are the kings and queens.
Speaker 4 (34:42):
Of emotional expectations. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (34:45):
And then with that, and then the other thing too
that they're not maybe ready to hear is that they
can be vengeful if they're hurt or It's funny because
cancers are really good at holding grudges, I feel, but
they they'll be like, I'm fine, but I'm like, nah,
it's dormant. It's in there, that expectation, it's in there.
Speaker 4 (35:07):
Leo.
Speaker 5 (35:08):
Leo expects to be adored, but sometimes overlooks their partner's needs.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
Yeah, I know, I know, I know Leo's that I
am very close with. And yes, I think sometimes with
with maybe low frequency Leo's or and I don't I
don't just want to put it on like your low frequency,
(35:33):
but like people who are maybe the beginning of their
healing journey, I think they yeah, expect to be adored,
but it overlooks their partner's needs. In a way of
like outsourcing validation and not really acknowledging, like, oh well,
what if my partner needs that same validation themselves. Like,
(35:56):
but the thing is is Leo's want to be loved
as well, and they actually, I think they really care
about their partner's opinion and sometimes they need that that
to be addressed before they invest in their partner's needs.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
Sometimes it's so.
Speaker 5 (36:15):
Interesting because I feel like, for me Leo's I only
know female Leos, and I find them to be very tearing,
like very like are you okay?
Speaker 4 (36:26):
Did you eat? Like they're very like motherly, I guess,
but yeah, I can think of any Leo men off.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
The my brother and my dad. Oh anyway, Virgo.
Speaker 5 (36:43):
I feel like when it comes to like toxic trades
from all the signs, I'm like, are we talking about
straight men?
Speaker 4 (36:47):
Because then yes, you.
Speaker 5 (36:49):
Know, yeah Virgo, what did I It's so funny when
you were like, what what do you think Virgo expects?
Speaker 4 (36:54):
As like perfection?
Speaker 1 (36:58):
Is this Virgo expects for and struggles with small disappointments.
Speaker 5 (37:02):
I feel like with me I as a Virgo speaking
for a healed Virgos, I think that I actually don't
expect perfection. I'm very okay with.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
You expect it of yourself.
Speaker 5 (37:14):
I think that for me, it's not that I expect perfection,
It's that I expect growth.
Speaker 4 (37:18):
That's me.
Speaker 5 (37:19):
Like if I'm growing, if I'm learning, if I'm doing
all these things, if I'm doing a lot of work
to get better to know, I also expect you to
do that too. And I am disappointed when people are
stuck in their old habits, you know. Like I've been
known to tell people like, how are you mean by people?
I mean like people in my family or my parents,
And I'm like, how are you like in your sixties
(37:40):
and you're still worried about stuff that you're worried about
in your thirties. You still have the same habits, you know?
I have those like disappointments. I would say, interesting, what's
on her? What Libra huh puts on her lip?
Speaker 4 (37:52):
Bus?
Speaker 1 (37:54):
Try this is Ariana Grande's Is she popped off with
this lip glass? It's the glossy bomb strawberry soda. It's
just a perfect pink.
Speaker 2 (38:06):
It's gorgeous, good.
Speaker 4 (38:07):
Just good.
Speaker 3 (38:09):
Well.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
Libra expects harmony but avoids necessary conflict. Hell motherfucking yeah,
I've lived with two libras. And I think this is
because aries are like where the sister signs where the
opposite signs. So for me, Aries is the god of war.
Speaker 2 (38:35):
It's it's Mars.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
It rules Mars, which is conflict. So whenever I've been
around living with the Libra that I lived with, two
Libras that I lived with, they they just expected everything
to be like what is it called the hunky door?
I don't know that means like calm and peaceful, And
yet they wouldn't address what needed to. They were two
faced a little bit where they were fake, where.
Speaker 2 (38:59):
They weren't a to I'm like, just say it, just
say it, like what what?
Speaker 4 (39:05):
Just say your chest?
Speaker 2 (39:07):
Yeah, I'm like say it? What say it?
Speaker 1 (39:09):
Like yeah, maybe that's why they didn't want to tell me. Actually, yeah,
I think this is uh. This and all of these
kind of seem like maybe the achilles heel, the kind
of little the wound that are signs whether they're in
our rising sun or moon, the things we might need.
Speaker 2 (39:29):
To look out for or.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
Yeah, just be aware of.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
But have you have you seen that with the libra?
Speaker 5 (39:36):
Libras are the one sign that I'm actually learning about
in real time, Like I don't libras and like I
always make this joke that I'm like what I feel
like all of their toxic trades I'm just not afraid of,
Like like aries they're gonna beat me up, Capricorns they're
gonna kill me and bury me alive, Virgos are gonna
hurt me with their words, where I'll just go kill myself.
Like everybody has a toxic trade, you know, Geminis, they
(39:59):
do all this stuff that you're like every everyone has
some libras and like, so you can't make a fucking decision.
I'm not afraid of that. Neither can I don't know
what I want for dinner. I don't know what I
want for breakfast. I don't even know what I want
to wear today, Like big whoop. Like I'm just not
threatened by like libra toxic traits. You know.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
Well, the thing is is there.
Speaker 1 (40:15):
They are the planet or the sign of beauty they
are attached to. I think it's either Taurus or Libra
is attached to Venus. But Taurus and Libra love to
be in Venus. So whenever you have a Venus Libra
or Venus Taurus like you are, I think you're.
Speaker 4 (40:33):
Beautiful and who's afraid of that? I'm not afraid of
That's why I'm like whatever, That's why I'm like, girl.
Speaker 2 (40:37):
Just say what you need to say. You have pretty privilege.
Speaker 1 (40:40):
They will, they will understand.
Speaker 5 (40:43):
Laural Lee empress Of says that she feels she's a Libra.
She says that she feels like a really cute glitter
lip gloss. She's like, certainly the ones you have to
reapply like fairly frequently, but I feel like a glitter
lip glass.
Speaker 2 (40:56):
She and we just had her on the podcast.
Speaker 7 (40:58):
She's definitely old Libra where she's she's very vocal about
things and she you can tell that she's had to
work on that, and it's it's cool because she shares
that through her music, which is a creative thing.
Speaker 1 (41:11):
And she's beautiful and her music is beauty. You know.
So a Scorpio says expects deep loyalty but maybe overly suspicious.
Speaker 4 (41:23):
This kind of took me because as a double Scorpio.
Speaker 2 (41:26):
I was like, oh, a hundred percent. You guys are like,
you want to be my friend. If you want to,
you do.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
Why But I'm just I'm just a girl.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
I'm weird. I'm quirky. Sure, why, yes it is. I'm like,
you want to hold my hand.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
Because you look you want to hug? Why because you
look like you need a hug. You're literally sobbing right now?
Do I have that fa You guys are a black
eyeliner that's nice, like eyeliner, dried mascara, tears, And I'm
just like, oh my god.
Speaker 2 (42:12):
Sometimes yeah, you're like, it's okay, it's not that serious.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
It's fine. And I feel like I'm like the squishy,
like eat you gake a meal?
Speaker 2 (42:22):
What happened?
Speaker 6 (42:23):
We did?
Speaker 4 (42:24):
Let me.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
Always sometimes when it's deserved, and the scorpios are like,
I don't know. I'm just I'm just a stray dog.
Speaker 2 (42:37):
I'm a straight cat. I'm like, do you want food?
Speaker 4 (42:39):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (42:41):
I feel like I know how to get into the
belly of the beast.
Speaker 5 (42:44):
I do feel like I have a mangy cat and
oh expects freedom but sometimes resists commitment.
Speaker 1 (42:57):
Oh my god, I feel.
Speaker 5 (42:58):
Like hairs are just on top of their shit. I'm
always like, yeah, but commitment to what depends on what
it is. Commitment to work, they're great, commitment to like
getting a task it's done, They're wonderful.
Speaker 4 (43:08):
You know, like commitment to what relationships.
Speaker 2 (43:12):
Well, they're runners, they're track stars.
Speaker 4 (43:15):
So perfect. I'll see you on the field.
Speaker 2 (43:19):
I'm not running. You will never see me on that field.
I'm taking ten minutes to walk the mile. So Capricorned, to.
Speaker 1 (43:29):
My God'll be like, maya hussle and I'd be like like, oh,
this is fat baux bag. Capricorn expects commitment but struggles
with emotional vulnerability.
Speaker 4 (43:44):
Yep, that's all I gotta say about that.
Speaker 1 (43:46):
That's all I gotta say about that. Aquarius. Wait, let
me give a little love to Capricorns because we've we've
gotten some If you look at our reviews, there's there's
a couple of reviews that are like, this is their
Dobin ship though I've I ever heard. I'm like, cause
you're a straight man, probably.
Speaker 2 (44:01):
Have not gotten.
Speaker 1 (44:03):
I don't know. Anyway, I don't want to say, let's
not say Capricorns are stars period. So I feel like
they've had some things in their lives where they've had
to h they felt unsafe with emotional vulnerability, you know,
so they've always had to rely on themselves for things,
(44:24):
and that's why they're so good at They are so
good at trusting themselves. Yeah, okay, calm down, Aquarius.
Speaker 2 (44:35):
Independence. Why are you making at phase You're grimacing, I'm smiling.
Speaker 1 (44:42):
Aquarius expects the Aquarius expects independence, but sometimes forgets emotional connection.
Aquarius are like aliens, and I'm lucky. If I get
to talk to an Aquarius for a long time, that
means they've they've picked me. I'm a pick mey girl
for Aquarius.
Speaker 5 (45:02):
I love Chris much. I feel like I am the
way that I am because of my dad. But I'm like, whatever,
fuck it, let's go.
Speaker 4 (45:08):
You know.
Speaker 5 (45:09):
Also, my cousin says I need to smile more in pictures.
She says I need to practice. So I've been practicing,
and I was being sincere and smiling.
Speaker 2 (45:20):
This isn't a picture.
Speaker 1 (45:23):
Pisces expects soulmates, but may overlook red flags.
Speaker 2 (45:29):
Say this soul.
Speaker 5 (45:32):
Yeah, because they want to heal them. I literally just
put some thing up on TikTok that I was like,
why do you Why do you guys keep picking toxic
people and they're because.
Speaker 4 (45:40):
We want to fix them.
Speaker 5 (45:41):
And you know what, even with the ocean of love
that you have to offer, you can heal him.
Speaker 6 (45:49):
Maybe unexpected you can't change him just a little change small,
to say the least.
Speaker 4 (46:04):
I agree with that reviewer.
Speaker 1 (46:07):
Yeah, this reviewer was like, this is the dumbest ship
I've ever heard. They literally are like, who would give
these people a platform?
Speaker 2 (46:15):
What are you fucking talking about? We've had him, we did.
We're personality hires.
Speaker 1 (46:23):
I've been a person I've been a personality hire since
I was born.
Speaker 2 (46:29):
I know my job. I get it done and do what.
Speaker 1 (46:33):
You're just mad that we're getting paid for.
Speaker 4 (46:34):
It, you bitch, I know, but he's not wrong. And
what anyways? Anyway, sir, and.
Speaker 1 (46:44):
That the astrology portion of the podcast, Miss.
Speaker 5 (46:49):
Well my, here we are, the expectations and how we feel.
We're also getting closer to the end of the season.
Speaker 2 (46:58):
Is this the last episode known? Next week?
Speaker 5 (47:00):
Yeah, so hopefully we can have we can expect to
see you guys again soon.
Speaker 4 (47:06):
But I think that you know, we're here, we are
in life, and we are.
Speaker 5 (47:10):
I think that when it comes to expectations, expect to
have a good time, expect to live your best life, Diva,
because you can certainly expect to die and it's all
not gonna matter, So you know, keep doing you sis?
Speaker 4 (47:25):
What about you, mama?
Speaker 1 (47:25):
How do you plead, I chick an edible. I take
edibles after podcast days specifically because don't you feel like
your mouth you can't talk anymore?
Speaker 2 (47:38):
After podcast days?
Speaker 1 (47:40):
Well, we're talking for like two hours straight.
Speaker 4 (47:43):
That's the only thing I'm good at. I was talking
for hours, so no.
Speaker 1 (47:47):
Okay, Well I listen expectations. They can make you or
break you. Right, flow, let go of control.
Speaker 2 (47:57):
But also stand on business. Okay.
Speaker 1 (48:02):
And maybe you're just not compatible or maybe you're just
not like you know. That's that's communication is everything, So
just communicate.
Speaker 4 (48:12):
Yes, it is.
Speaker 1 (48:14):
It's honest time. So can we try to do a harmony?
Speaker 4 (48:24):
Here? You go find.
Speaker 2 (48:25):
It more time over time you.
Speaker 1 (48:39):
Okay, just cut that part so that we do it
the time that we started, so that we do we started.
Thank you so much for listening to another episode of
the Super Secret Bestie Club podcast Curly.
Speaker 2 (48:52):
How can they find You? On social media?
Speaker 5 (48:54):
You can find me at the Curly V shows in Victor,
on Instagram and TikTok.
Speaker 4 (49:00):
Where can you find you?
Speaker 1 (49:01):
May You can find me at Maya in the Moment,
at a Ya in the Moment, anywhere you scroll. Bye
sh shap Here's Gopy's version.
Speaker 2 (49:15):
Who Liz all this time.
Speaker 1 (49:17):
Oh no, that's Kermit, Oh goodbye. Make sure to hit
that subscribe button to hear more episodes every single week.
The Super Secret Bestie Club podcast is a production of
Sonodo in partnership with iHeartRadio's Michael Thuda podcast Network.
Speaker 3 (49:34):
For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
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