January 1, 2025 • 48 mins
Take a hilarious trip down memory lane with Curly and Maya revisiting their highs and lows of 2024. Looking ahead to 2025, the duo shares their wildly optimistic resolutions.
Maya Murillo and Curly Velásquez are the hosts of the Super Secret Bestie Club with production support by Karina Riveroll of Sonoro Media in partnership with iHeart Radio's My Cultura Podcast network. If you want to support the podcast, please rate and review our show!
Follow Maya Murillo on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok @mayainthemoment
Follow Curly Velásquez on Instagram and TikTok @thecurlyvshow and on Twitter @CurlyVee
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Peep.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
Would you accept a click call from a Faners County jail.
Speaker 3 (00:04):
H Yes, Hello, Curly Maya.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
What happened last night?
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Why do I have a mump on my head?
Speaker 3 (00:11):
And why didn't just throw up? Good petty?
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Can you come pick me up?
Speaker 3 (00:15):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Well, happy twenty twenty five?
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Wait your turn?
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Do you know who I am?
Speaker 3 (00:21):
I have a podcast with my best friend. I'm on
my way just to get in here.
Speaker 4 (00:27):
My name is Curly and I'm Maya, and welcome to
the Super Secret Parstie Club podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
A super secret club where we talk about super secret themes.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
Yeah, like secrets that are super that's when it is.
Speaker 4 (00:41):
In each episode we'll talk about love, friendship, heartbreaks, men,
and of course our favorite secrets.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Get in here. Twenty twenty five. Everyone, we did it.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
We did it. We're actually recording this so in the past,
in the past, but this is just this is where
in the future.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Also, yeah, is it really? I'm not excited about twenty
twenty five. I'm not happy to be here.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
I mean, you could feel however you want to feel.
I think it's been a very rocky end of the year.
It's been a rocky year period, and I think that's
the thing that we also need to hold space for
as well, not just the lyrics of defying gravity from
people who are in the queer media, but you know,
(01:32):
hold space for people who may not be excited and
not pushing, like we said last year, not pushing those
kind of like goal oriented, you know, expence on them.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Well, here we are. How did you feel? How did
you feel about twenty twenty four?
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Oh, my god, twenty twenty four. That's a loaded question.
A lot of unearthing and a lot of hurting and
a lot of healing.
Speaker 5 (01:57):
I feel how's your spirit?
Speaker 3 (02:00):
It's good?
Speaker 4 (02:01):
I mean, don't you kind of feel like twenty twenty
four was like a bunch of years in one year.
Like I will look at pictures from like March of
twenty twenty four and be like, how was that this year? Like,
or I'll look at pictures from like June and I'm like,
how was that all in the same year.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
I don't understand it.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Yeah, I feel like I've been sleeping a lot this
year and definitely just kind of like, oh, it's it's sober,
it's done, okay.
Speaker 4 (02:28):
See, I feel like I've been like I've lived like
seventy two lives this year where I've been like, oh,
I wore that, and I dressed like that, and my
hair was like that, Oh my hair was a lot
darker earlier this year. And now I'm like a good
silver like all these different things, and I'm like, I'm ready.
I'm ready for a long nap, Like I'm ready to
take a nap. In twenty twenty five.
Speaker 5 (02:48):
I feel like the opposite.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
I feel like I'm ready to like really be more
social out of the house, not hermit crab anymore. I
feel like being more attentive to those types of things.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
So excited.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
I really feel like twenty twenty four I was an
extreme hermit crab. I didn't go to a lot of
things this year, huh, like I or I would cancel
or I would flake like. And I feel like none
of it had to do with the fact that I'm like,
I just don't want to go or I just I
just really genuinely did not feel like it because I
(03:26):
didn't feel good in my body, and I didn't feel
like I would be a good asset or you know,
partner in crime to have to be outside and I
just want I just needed to like lick my wounds
a little bit and jah.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:40):
Well, I'm definitely excited because I feel like one of
the things that I realized about myself is that even
though I'm hermit ish, like, I do have like life
fomo and I love to like I want to go
try this random taco spot. I want to go like
in a hutder balloon. I want to do all these things,
but I don't like to do them alone. So I'm like, yes,
let's go. Oh, like what are we going to do?
(04:01):
What are we gonna see? Like I want to be
like little baddies at like a party or like a bar,
even though I don't drink, you know.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
I know, I want to flash it to hear too.
Mom closed your ears.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
Your mom was like in my day, Oh my god.
I literally was talking to my parent. I was talking
to my dad about like he was like, We've always
been very open about sex and talking about all that stuff.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
That's how we are.
Speaker 4 (04:26):
And I'm like, yeah, and I like, I'm open with
my sister about it. I'm open with both my parents
about it. And my grandmother released up the tone for
being open about sex. And my Dia would show us
like she was a nurse. She's a nurse, so she
would show us like books with like sci photos and
we were just very open with stuff very early on,
and Shanty was like, I don't think that's the.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
Norm. Probably like I don't think that's like most because
we were.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
Like, doesn't everybody every family do the yet doesn't everybody
tell talked about that stuff?
Speaker 2 (04:59):
And they're like, no, my grandma would, My grandma would.
But it was like, uh, do you want to I
had your dad at sixteen years old?
Speaker 5 (05:09):
Close your legs.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
Yeah, yeah, it would very much be.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Like, look, I got pregnant at sixteen, and none of
the girls got pregnant at sixteen, none of the grandchildren,
which is great, but it was definitely like a you know,
there's no conversation, healthy conversation like that. It was either
don't do it or just don't talk about it.
Speaker 4 (05:28):
Yeah yeah, I feel like for me, it was like
like not details, like not graphic details, but very like
oh yeah that's normal, or has it happened to you,
or like well we're trying this, or like I would
tell I would tell my parents like he doesn't even
shower and he wants to fuck me? Are you serious?
And they would be like yeah, that's crazy, and you know.
(05:50):
People were like, that's not the norm bo, you know,
but I think that is. It is really nice that
we do have like that open. There's nothing that I
don't talk to my family about. Literally nothing that I
will not bring.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
Up to my family.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
How does your family feel about like New Year's and stuff?
Do you guys do any traditions or celebrations?
Speaker 4 (06:08):
You know, growing up, my parents were really into like SASA,
and my dad still has a really cool Sasa Instagram.
It's called you should definitely go check it out. But
they used to go to clubs all the time. They
would go to parties. They would go to clubs and
I would be with friends or I would be like,
can I have friends over at the house. I remember
one year I had a bunch of my girlfriends come over.
(06:29):
I had a bunch of like faux forur and for
vintage jackets, and we all were just wearing fur, and
like I had a bunch of fake designer sunglasses from
Guaya Ho in downtown.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
So we're all in our sunglasses, we're all in our.
Speaker 4 (06:41):
Furs, and we're just drinking champagne around the TV waiting
for the for the vaulted job.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
So maybe I should bring that tradition back, but I don't.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Also, I think that sounds so much fun. I think
I my family doesn't really do like New Year's traditions
like that. I think one year when I was here,
my mom and I just like watched the ball drop
and then my dad went to sleep early. He goes,
you know, yeah, goes to bed. He goes to bed
at like eight or nine, but like he wakes up
like this morning. I'm here in Phoenix. This morning, I
(07:11):
was like, it must be like three in the morning,
and I was like, what are you doing up? He's
like it's six in the morning, almost seven. I'm like, oh,
good night. Like he goes to bed and you know, early,
and then wakes up super early.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
That's so real, like going to bed before the New
Year even comes.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Yes, yeah, it's kind of a slay cause it's kind
of like I don't care whatever, okay, yeah, and then
you wake up. But I really think next year, or
I guess it's this year, twenty twenty five, I would
really love to do more community events and community parties
like that.
Speaker 5 (07:44):
Like I think you should totally.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
I mean, can you imagine if you threw a party
curly that was like.
Speaker 5 (07:49):
That it would be fucking on top so fun. It
would be so much fun.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
And I think because twenty twenty four was, I feel
like it was just a really lone year. I feel
like I feel like all of these years I've felt
really lonely in some capacity, and not in a negative way,
it's just you just kind of feel it. I feel
like my family's in Phoenix and I'm in la and
you just kind of like, since we haven't been at Bettle, like,
I felt like I've missed that kind of community. And
(08:16):
I think I would definitely love to do more community
events like that or parties, just because you know, I
love seeing those tiktoks where they're doing those like holiday games.
You know, I should do.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
A little something. I should do a little something.
Speaker 5 (08:32):
I think so.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
But I feel like twenty twenty.
Speaker 4 (08:34):
Five, like I am excited for myself in a lot
of ways, like and my friends and family, because it's
just would a blessing to be alive, would a blessing
to see another year.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
You know.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
I remember when waking up on January first of the
year two thousand and being like.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
We're live. We didn't die. Now we're live.
Speaker 4 (08:55):
In twenty twelve, like same thing, like we're live, like
we made it. Well, no, it would have been twenty yeah,
December twenty four, twenty twelve.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
Once we woke up the next day, it was the
same thing. So it's a blessing.
Speaker 4 (09:05):
I don't know that politically or like socially, I'm looking
forward to twenty twenty five. But what I am looking
forward to is Wicked Part two. And I just feel
like Wicked two is just going to save us.
Speaker 5 (09:21):
And this is a year from now.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
I mean, yeah, a year from November, I agree, And
I wonder where will be then, you know. And I
mean I think that's kind of a great marker too,
for them to split the movies up, because you kind
of feel like there's been some time in some distance
because the movie does pick up five years later, right,
does like a time jump, so you I mean, it
(09:45):
starts the movie with like in the future, and then
you know, we see like the prequel of everything, and
then it goes to I guess it's like present day
for them. But yeah, it kind of feels like sometime,
so maybe it feels like we've earned it a little bit.
Speaker 5 (09:57):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
I mean, Wicked was amazing, well, you said that you
get terrible anxiety.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
Oh my god. Yeah, celebration weird, Yeah, I have this.
Well that's yeah. I feel like holidays that have to.
Speaker 4 (10:10):
Do with a lot of drinking and stuff, like I
turned into a Senora. I'm like, no, man, you know,
like don't drink so much and and like don't go driving.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
Like I'm like, please get somebody to drive you.
Speaker 4 (10:24):
Like, I just get so worried, Like I truly just
get so worried for all the people. I get worried
for all the fireworks in LA, for all the dogs.
I'm just like it just kind of is overstimulating to me.
And I don't know why, but when I was really young,
I started to start to develop this fear that I
was going to die on New Years, or that somebody
that I loved was going to die on New Years
(10:45):
because it was just so crazy. So like I think
last year was the first year that I ever really
let myself be like it's okay to have the anxiety,
but maybe it's going to be fine, you know. But
like do you are do you get like that? Are
you or are you like a new your goal?
Speaker 2 (11:00):
I'm a New Year girl. I'm a I'm a holiday celebrations. Girl,
I think because my mom is super an ultra extrovert,
positive person, and she's she's excited to wake up every
single morning. She she says sometimes she can't she has
trouble sleeping at night because she's so excited for the
next day. Yes, like all the possibilities everything. And I
(11:25):
would say I'm half that because sometimes I'm like, thank god,
I can go to bed to turn off.
Speaker 5 (11:30):
My just stop existing for a little bit.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
And I'm like, oh again, okay, you know, like yeah, yeah.
My mom's like you know, and she.
Speaker 5 (11:48):
Wakes up and she's like are you ready?
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Like that's just who she is.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
We're talking about.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
Wait for a second, explain how excited you are to
wake up for each day.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Well, for first of all, at nighttime, I can't fall
asleep because I'm excited of the stuff.
Speaker 5 (12:04):
I get to do the next day.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
When I wake I just I wake up and I
think today's going to be a good day. I'm excited
for all the things I'm gonna feel proud of when
I go to bed that night.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
And that's imagine how excited my mom is for New Years.
And so that's what I kind of grew up around
is very much instilled in like be excited for this
next year, like the possibilities are endless and the endless
are possibilities, you know.
Speaker 5 (12:36):
So I don't think I have that anxiety.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
I think I'm just like, oh man, it happen. Even
like we did an episode with an astrologer Melissa, who
was like, oh, aries are probably gonna have like.
Speaker 5 (12:47):
A wild year.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
I'm like, you know what, good, then more character development
for me, you know, more for the autobiography. You know
what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Oh my god. I know something.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
I feel like part of what I like about life
is how exciting and how surprising it can be. And
I think that is as much as the surprises can
be scary, they can also be like exciting and good
in a lot of ways. But like, I feel like
twenty twenty four had so many different things.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
We saw so many different things, like the election.
Speaker 4 (13:20):
I feel like Drake kind of lost a lot of
street cred, especially when he sued Kendrick and Diddy.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
Is in two.
Speaker 4 (13:29):
We had brat summer, We had a Sabrina Carpenter moment.
It was like a Chapel Rowan year. It was like
the year of the girls, I would say Billy MoU
Dang and the Olympics, you know, But what would you
say was like your favorite pop culture moment of twenty
twenty four.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
My favorite pop culture moment of twenty twenty four was
when my baby nephew, Guillermot turned one years old. That
was you were there, That was was there. That was
a very a wonderful pop culture moment. But honestly, Season
three of Bridgerton, the carriage ride moment, the mirror scene,
(14:10):
even on these streets when they were like just gonna
hook up in the streets and then a carriage rode by,
like and also my little personal tie to it that
I was able to in twenty twenty two visit the
set and got dressed up and then had to wait
until twenty twenty four and then it came out and
I got to be a part of like a little
tiny part of like the little promotional moment, and that
(14:34):
was very, very cool, and I really did. I know
a lot of people have conflicting opinions about Bridgerton Season three, but.
Speaker 5 (14:42):
I really liked it.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
I thought that their chemistry was great, and I think
that I didn't read the books, but I feel like
I want to read the books now, because like the
carriage Ride was so oh, it was so good, and
you know, this was kind of like I did not
date anyone or have I barely had any crushes this
year that lasted, so this really held me up for
(15:05):
the whole Yeah, I gotta watch it.
Speaker 4 (15:09):
I started season one, I finished season one, I started
season two.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
I didn't finish that one. But maybe I should just
skip to season three.
Speaker 5 (15:16):
Huh uh.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Yeah, well, I mean people say that they love season
two of Bridgerton, like that it's one of the best ones,
But I really feel like they stretched on, like they
blew ball us. Sorry they did, Okay, I feel like
they stretched it out until the final like two episodes
versus you know in uh, I don't know. You get
you see a lot of action in season three Bridgerton,
and it's a friends to lovers moment and it's you
(15:42):
find out who Lady whistle you know, who Lady whistledown
is and if she's going to reveal herself or not.
Like it just has a lot of very juicy plot moments.
Speaker 3 (15:52):
Is there going to be season four?
Speaker 5 (15:53):
Yeah, they're already filming it.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
Oh wow, Well be for them.
Speaker 4 (16:13):
I feel like my pop culture moment is the return
of Lindsay Lohan. Oh yeah, I I am so excited.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
I love Lindsay. I've always been like such a Lindsay stand.
Speaker 5 (16:24):
Like beamin button I okay.
Speaker 4 (16:27):
My favorite Internet memes right now are like it'll be
like beautiful waves on like an island and somebody holding
like a drink and being like this is what I
want for me and whatever Lindsay Lohan had, And I
just love that there's so many people talking about our
lastic surgery.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
She looks good, she looks amazing.
Speaker 4 (16:46):
And I was having lunch with somebody and they were
saying like, yeah, yeah, I'm really happy that she's back
to work and she's doing her Christmas movies for Netflix.
But like, is everything okay? Like did everybody forget that?
Like she tried kidnapping a woman and her baby on
IG Live yeah, and was like you must come with me?
Speaker 3 (17:03):
Yeah come? What was her accent?
Speaker 4 (17:07):
Like you must come? You cannot be alone here and vote,
And it was just like do you.
Speaker 3 (17:12):
All forget that? She was a dancing drunk at the bar?
Speaker 4 (17:15):
Was everything she was like everything is yeah? Likes everything okay,
Like there's a fresh coat. You know, I always say,
it's just a fresh coat of paint.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
She's done a lot for us growing up that she
you know, I don't remember that moment, but I remember,
I remember.
Speaker 4 (17:35):
Now, Yeah, beautiful, she was beautiful, and like I just
you know, she deserves the beautiful new face or whatever
she's doing, like she deserves the pearly whites. And what
I like about too, is that I feel like a
lot of times in Hollywood you hear about women getting canceled.
You hear about old actresses, like not old in age,
but like older actresses from like the maybe the forties
(17:55):
or the fifties who aged out, or celebrities who weren't
kind of been an opportunity.
Speaker 5 (18:01):
To catch down me by the way, I.
Speaker 4 (18:03):
Know, it's so cool to see Lindsay and a lot
of other actors is kind of have a resurgence and
a moment. I really feel like nostalgia has held and
like held and carried a lot of these people to
have like another resurgence in their career, and I love that.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
I think that's pretty.
Speaker 4 (18:21):
You know, we saw it with some of the actors
from everything everywhere, all at once. We saw it with like,
you know, we see it with share every two months,
Like it's just like a thing that nostalgia just carries people.
But aside from that, like, what do you feel was
your favorite memory of this year?
Speaker 2 (18:39):
Oh, I think it has to do when my family,
my cousins, and I went to Spain. It was so
much fun because it was all like Latina, Chicanas from
Phoenix and all from different generations and different times and oh,
my parents are here, they're making out right now.
Speaker 5 (19:04):
I'm just kidding me. So yeah, we went to.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Spain for like about two ish weeks and it was
so much fun because it was the first time that
we all got to be together in a while, other
than we always used to see each other again either
at funerals or maybe at birthday things or Thanksgiving, but
this was when we all were like, we're locking in.
(19:28):
We don't want to just see each other at funerals.
We don't just we want to spend quality time together.
And my cousins, Micano cousins, they travel everywhere every single year,
They've been all over the world, so this was the
year we're like, we're going and it was just so
much fun because I got so close, so much closer
to them like so much femme chicana energy like that
(19:50):
was just so potent and inspiring and it just yeah
feels it felt so good in a year where I
felt like a little bit lonely, like being out in
LA and coming to Spain and with my cousins and
just like having all these adventures with them. And you know,
my grandpa had passed away when I was a teenager,
(20:12):
and so I got to connect with my grandpa's brothers
kids who their dad. My grandpa's brothers like passed away,
you know, a while ago, so we all kind of
got to connect deeper. And I felt like they were
with us on this trip and it was just so beautiful.
Speaker 5 (20:29):
So I didn't like Spain. Fuck Spain.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Sorry, Yeah, but I loved traveling with my cousins and
my mommy.
Speaker 4 (20:36):
You know, I have like the same sort of memories
actually the same energy. Like this year, one of like
the spirits of my family passed away, Yahina, and parts
of my family that haven't been talking to each other
for over a decade kind of came back together for
our goodbye basically, and not all of us stuck together afterwards,
(20:58):
but my generation and underneath us, like the cousins kind
of all did and we travel together. And I think
that your the Latina energy that you're talking about is
just so healing.
Speaker 3 (21:09):
And then it almost.
Speaker 4 (21:10):
Feels a little easier to carry the spirit world with
us too, Like I know we carry both of my
grandmothers with us. I know we carry one of my
deals with us and my Tiahina that just passed, Like
I can feel that they want they wanted this for us.
Speaker 3 (21:24):
Like with my primas we went to Costa.
Speaker 4 (21:26):
Rica, we had no idea where were going, what we
were doing, had it, but we did it. And then
just this past week we went camping, my first time
with no running water. I had it last I will
say that the moment that has moved me deeply.
Speaker 3 (21:43):
I mean at the end of the year.
Speaker 4 (21:44):
But like I had a because of the last week.
I was talking about how they stole my tires from
my car, and when we were putting on the spare
tires to drive it to the dealer, my dad was like,
I'm going to show you how to put spare tires on.
And that's something that I've never learned, Like I just
never I've been a gay boy since birth. I never
(22:04):
cared about it. I couldn't retain it. I'm not interested
in changing tires, but this time, because it was my car,
it was me, my dad was doing me a favor.
I was like, I'm gonna get on the fucking floor.
So there we are, like literally in the middle of
the street, on the floor in a residential street in
Los Angeles, and I'm kind of doing things that boys
do with their dads, right, and just having that moment
(22:26):
of just being with my dad and being like, oh
my god, I just feel so you know how you
just have those moments sometimes you're like I don't know
what to do. I just need my dad. We talked
about it and we're like, how do we put air
in our tires?
Speaker 5 (22:39):
And that's all yeah, and that's the thing.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Yeah, I love that, you.
Speaker 4 (22:44):
Know, having him there was just very like I literally
once you put the tires on the car and we
drove to the dealer, I just cried the whole way
there because I was just like so thankful, Like, yeah,
I recognized it as a blessing that I might not
have forever and a lot of people don't have, and
just being able to just witness that moment for myself
(23:04):
I might not be the richest person, and I might
not be you know, whatever, whatever, whatever, but being able
to share that time in that space with anybody that
you love and have a have like a core memory
like that, like, oh, I remember that I changed my
tire with my dad for the first time in my
late thirties.
Speaker 3 (23:20):
It was great.
Speaker 4 (23:20):
And then now I text. Now I'm like texting all
my gay friends and I'm like, do you know how
to change tires?
Speaker 2 (23:24):
They're like no, I'm like I do, right, right, Yeah.
Speaker 5 (23:27):
I think this.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
I think twenty twenty four was definitely about, you know,
since we're in our thirties, like how are we going
to carry on and help heal our generation or our
legacy as a family. And you do that through your
cousins and through you know, spending that time with your
elders and soaking up all those moments. And I think
(23:50):
that's why in twenty twenty four I had really had
a realization where I felt my spirit wanting to come
back to Arizona to not miss out on those moments
with my parents, or not miss out all those moments
with you know, the babies in my family and my cousins.
And it's funny because one of my friends who I
(24:11):
kind of grew up with. Her parents are also artists
in the in the in the Phoenix scene, we found
out that we're cousins and so that like changed everything.
But she lived in LA and then she recently moved
back to Phoenix, and I was like, how did you
know that she wanted to move back? And at that time,
I was like, I'm not living back, and then she
was like, you just know, you just feel your spirit.
(24:32):
And I felt like I felt my spirit this year
making certain decisions and choices that I was like, this
may turn out ugly for the moment, but I know
this is going to be very beneficial to the lineage
or to myself. And I know I'm moving out of
a people people pleaser people people people pleaser, you know.
(24:53):
Era and I just had a lot of different like
realizations that I was like, I have never felt this before.
I never thought I would feel this, but I do,
and I'm just gonna have to go with it and
honor it, you.
Speaker 5 (25:04):
Know, yeah, absolutely, which is a lesson.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
Also that I feel like I learned was just like
I feel like I have not been able to be
uh to completely one hundred percent to.
Speaker 5 (25:17):
Be about myself.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
I feel like I'm always like helping other people or
like looking out for other people, which there's nothing.
Speaker 5 (25:26):
Wrong with that.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
I love that quality, But at times I feel like
I'm serving other people and my friendship is to serve
other people versus like, do they actually make the effort
to be in complete tandem with me in like making
sure this friendship is equal parts showing up? And I
felt like there was a lot of things this year
(25:48):
where I didn't see people show up and I felt
myself not showing up, you know, and you know a
lot of lessons where I was like, I kept resisting
those things and I just had to let myself go
through that and feel them and not hold back and
just cry if I needed to cry, hide myself if
I needed to hide, and just keep things to myself,
(26:10):
you know. So I think that was a lesson that
I learned that I was like, you are allowed to
take up space, and you're also allowed to be alone
if you want to be alone. And you're also allowed
to not do the things that you want to do
anymore like that that you used to do.
Speaker 3 (26:25):
Like that's real. People. Pleasing is a real thing.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
It's Yeah, it's also a form of like, how much
of the people pleasing thing was unrealized portion of manipulation
of like in terms of like, you know, some some
of it is like out of survival.
Speaker 5 (26:41):
But when you.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
Are a people pleaser, you want to show your friends
and other people that I'm a good person. I can
show up for you. Here are the things I provide
as a friend. Yes, I can do that for you.
Not really listening to yourself if you actually want to
do those things or yeah, the consequences if you don't
do those things, Like if I didn't do X, Y
(27:04):
and Z, are they still going to want to be
my friend? I don't even want to. I don't want
to find that out. So I'm just going to do it.
I'm going to say, I'm going to set this up
to see if it's you know, to see if everyone
wants to you know, And in the end it makes
you stressed out, it makes you type, and it makes
you not fun to be around.
Speaker 5 (27:18):
So I just stop.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
Yeah, that's real. Yeah, you know, it's a toll.
Speaker 4 (27:21):
I think as you get older, you start to realize that,
like you will have the people who will go over
and beyond for you. You don't need to be the
most popular person in the room. You don't need to
be the most loved person in the room. You can
have your core people that you do stuff for. They
will reciprocate. And I think that's a great lesson. I
think for me, like this year was like regaining my
confidence in a lot of ways and regaining So I
(27:45):
saw this really interesting thing. I forget where it was,
but it was saying that if you repeat something out loud,
or you repeat it to yourself every single day, three
times a day, for twenty one days. So I had
a list I wrote like when I put one to
twenty one, and every day I would check in three
times and I would put like a little little a
(28:06):
little like line or whatever to say that I did it,
and it would be like my affirmation. So my affirmations
were like more about like my beauty and my brains.
Like somewhere along the line, I started to believe that
I wasn't smart, Like somewhere along the line, I started
to believe that I wasn't like intelligent or could bring something.
Speaker 3 (28:26):
To the table.
Speaker 4 (28:27):
And I when I wasn't like that before, you know,
before I used to be like I'm an artist, but
I'm not dumb, like I'm an artist, but I can
I can handle, I can have an intellectual conversation with you.
And then somewhere along the line, I started to be like,
huh what like a little bit more like airheady and
I'm like, no, I'm not that, you know, And then
(28:48):
people and then even just like the way that I
look right, like, I think getting out of a relationship
where I didn't feel like I looked good and I
think that I had to kind of like regain my
confidence in a lot of ways. And what's been really
interesting is that through so and because of you too,
like you know, you always taught me to like money
loves me, Money's coming money, like you know, I kind
(29:10):
of have been repeating those three things, and I can
feel myself like catching the voice in my head where it's.
Speaker 3 (29:17):
Like no, no, no, we know.
Speaker 4 (29:20):
Yes, sometimes we lose focus because we're adhd yes sometimes
of this, but like we're not dumb. Pick up where
you left off, like you weren't listening, pay attention now,
like okay, Like I was measuring my curtains and I
was like, okay, fifty five by seventy five and I'm
like or it was like fifty eight by seventy eight,
and I was like, oh, what was it again? I'm like, curly,
you know how to focus. It's you know what you saw.
(29:43):
You don't need to measure it again for the second
or the third time, which also might be my OCD.
But like I think allowing myself to trust myself more.
And then I think that losing yet another person in
my life that I just loved so deeply because I
I lost her this year, when I lost my fay
hated this year, like I did fall into a depression,
(30:04):
like a legit depression that.
Speaker 3 (30:06):
I didn't know, like until I got medicated that I.
Speaker 4 (30:09):
Was in this like deep deep fog, like you know,
trigger warning, like going into ideating, questioning everything, like what
is the purpose of life? Like why am I even here?
If I'm just going to get to a certain age
where I might get sick, or like you know, I
might not ever get to my dreams because these people,
no matter how old.
Speaker 3 (30:28):
They are, still have dreams.
Speaker 4 (30:31):
And then I think that once I got medicated, it
helped me kind of look at that and be like,
we don't know all those things, but I certainly do
have control over what I do have control over and
that's like exactly to your point, how am I spending
my time? How am I spending the love that I
have to give for people? Like you know what am
I doing? There's no wrong answers. I mean you see
(30:53):
it even politically where you have this terrible man like
our president right now, who is continuing to win, and
you start to kind of go like, is karma even real?
Speaker 3 (31:03):
Like is it? You know? On the view, Joy.
Speaker 4 (31:06):
Behar was like, is karma like fucking Sanna like in
the tooth Fairy? Like is it something that we just
teach our kids?
Speaker 3 (31:12):
Like what is it?
Speaker 4 (31:12):
And so me kind of giving the space to be like,
you know what if that that man can be terrible
and still win, I can say the wrong thing at
lunch and I'll be fine, you know what I mean?
Like I can say something accidentally you know where I'm
talking about, I don't know, fighting a dildo out of
bad ass, and I'm like it's fine, I'll win, people
(31:33):
will people will forget it, and people.
Speaker 3 (31:34):
Will move on.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
Yes, yeah, I think that's I think I also learned
that sometimes you need to sit in your own shit,
not literally, but like take hold yourself accountable and like
for the things that you have been speaking about yourself
or speaking on other things and maybe poisoning the well
(31:59):
a little bit, like and realizing like that doesn't feel
good and I don't want to do that anymore. So yeah, yeah,
sometimes you just words are things. Sometimes you just need
to sit in your own ship and be like this
is stinky girl.
Speaker 4 (32:13):
Yeah. Also, don't sit to your ship for too long
because you'll get a rash.
Speaker 3 (32:32):
No.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
Also, uh, I was like, this is kind of gross,
but I had like ball ask corn last night and
then I in the morning. My mom should not say that.
Oh she's saying no. But I was like, you know,
you had a good time when you have corn in
your poop?
Speaker 3 (32:50):
Was it your poop or her poop?
Speaker 2 (32:51):
My poop?
Speaker 3 (32:52):
Oh? Yeah, we'll tell us you. I love a good
poop story.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
Yeah, I said, you know you have you had a
good time last night when you see corn in your
poop the next day and you're like.
Speaker 5 (33:00):
That was a good yep.
Speaker 3 (33:02):
What are some things that you would want to leave behind.
Speaker 2 (33:06):
I would love to leave behind taking things personal. I
feel like I've worked on that a lot hard and expectations.
That's one of the biggest things that my mom and
I talk about and she's always like, stop expecting things,
stop having expectations, because I think she sees me getting
hurt all the time.
Speaker 5 (33:25):
Myself.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
I'm hurting myself ninety five percent of the time, you know,
by being like what does this mean? What does that mean?
Speaker 5 (33:31):
And I see you when other people.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
Do it, and I'm like, girl, not everything's a value anyway.
And then I'm like taking things so personal, and so
that's like a number one thing that I'm like, everybody
truly is looking out for themselves in their own heads,
in their own minds. Yeah, nobody is thinking about you
like that. Nobody is thinking about other people like that.
(33:53):
They're literally just like focused on themselves, and you deserve
to focus on your too. Like I used to get
so upset when I feel like people weren't being considerate
of other people or the group or myself. And I'm like,
you know what, Like not that I would ever lose
that part of me and not being considerate, but I'm
just like everyone else.
Speaker 5 (34:16):
Is doing it.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
Everyone else is kind of looking out for themselves. I
need to too. I need to as well, but also
not take things so personal because we all know what
it's like to get stuck in your own brain and
kind of like not reach out for a while, or
you never know what other people are going through and
not everything is like an attack, an attack towards you,
(34:39):
or you know, a retaliation or you know. It just
is like you know, if they have the guts to
say it to your face, then cool. If something's really wrong,
and if not, then everything's cool. Everything's chill. I'm gonna
go on like normal.
Speaker 4 (34:54):
I saw this guru talking about how the opposite of
love is not hate. And I've always said that the
opposite of love is like indifference, like you just don't care,
but he was saying that the opposite of love is
like detachment, where like you're so detached. He's like, you
cannot hate something that you don't even know exists. You
cannot love something that you don't even know is there.
(35:15):
Like he's like, you bring all these things into your life,
your cell phone, your money, your houses, your boyfriends, whatever
to help you with your life, and the minute that
you attach yourself to it, like you create like this
madness for yourself because if you lose it or you
don't get it or whatever, like you it hurts you
a lot. And so I think that I want to
(35:35):
work on things that I am attached to, you know,
which related to like expectations, which is related to like
ideas of what I had for myself, while also remembering
that a lot of what I had done with have
done with my life right now, even down to the
way that I look, even down to the way that
(35:55):
my body is, was a manifestation that I started for
myself years ago as a kid, right like I used
to fucking like I remember as a kid, I used
to fucking like grab my lung has and be like
me personally, I'm like, oh, one day, I'm gonna.
Speaker 3 (36:11):
Like get my little tummy done. You know what I mean?
I just I don't know.
Speaker 4 (36:14):
And then I fucking got older and I saved up
my money, and I remember when I talked to you,
and I was like, am I making a dumb choice?
Because I've been saving up for a very long time
to get my tummy done? And like, you know, I
do I do this? And you were like, what if
you could have it all? Like what if you could
like do.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
Both like shit me off, girl?
Speaker 4 (36:37):
And so I think that even just like that, like
going for it, shooting my shot, like honoring where my
life has brought me honoring where my life like hasn't
brought me yet and kind of just like not trying
not to be.
Speaker 3 (36:50):
You know that line in Queen.
Speaker 4 (36:52):
Latifa's movie The Last Holiday, where she's talking in the
mirror and she's just like, next time will laugh more,
we'll do, we'll see more what she goes, we'll see
the world she goes.
Speaker 3 (37:03):
We just won't be so scared.
Speaker 4 (37:04):
And I think that line is always like, yeah, girl, yeah,
it always hits me.
Speaker 2 (37:13):
I want to like dig my nails into my skull
right now, go.
Speaker 3 (37:17):
And what do you.
Speaker 4 (37:18):
Feel like is a lesson that people around you learn
in twenty twenty five?
Speaker 3 (37:23):
It could be people in the world or people like
I think.
Speaker 2 (37:26):
People learn that everyone is in their own headspace. Like
I think I think collectively with the way the political
system went down or the way people voted, is that
we all assumed things about each other. But I don't
think we were as connected as a collective as we've
(37:47):
been before because of different opposing factors. And I feel
like what we will and I feel like I'm kind
of going into the next question of what do you
hope people will learn? I feel like ba based on
that we're going to be more connected as a collective,
to be on the same page with things so that
this shit never happens again. And I'm talking about the
(38:10):
presidency with Trump. I really really hope that we are
able to push back as much as we can because
a lot of people think that our groceries are going
to be cheaper. A lot of people think that, and girl,
it's like that quote. It's like that quote in American
Horror Story where she's like, or what you stupid, you
(38:33):
stupid slut, The groceries are not going to be more expensive,
or groceries are going to be more expensive or something like.
It's so funny because it's like I feel like a
lot of people thought last year, and that's just not
what's gonna happen. You know, We're gonna see a lot
of consequences of our actions of what happens when we're
(38:55):
not all on the same page with each other. And
I think that, like we're all so everyone's fed up
with how the political system is, you know, we're just
all fed up with it.
Speaker 4 (39:07):
Yeah, yeah, I hope that. I hope the same thing too.
I hope that, like this year, I just feel like
I wish that more people could learn truly what compassion means, truly,
what like consideration means, empathy and not necessarily moving from
fear all the time, like you and I both and
so many of my friends and our family, Like we
(39:29):
want this genocide to be over, you know what I mean,
Like we want to see that be over and done with.
I just was watching this guy on TikTok talking to
other people, and there was a lot of like hate
for Palestine, like just so much hate and just so
much like pride in the killings of all of that
(39:50):
and the killings that are happening over there, and just
even that level of like people losing compassion over the
human right. Like I was sitting in my car the
day and I was like, I think that for me,
love is what keeps us all alive. I think that
love is kind of like what holds everything together, because
no matter how horrible you might think someone is, or
(40:13):
what you might opinion you might have with somebody, like
for better or for worse, there's somebody who loves them deeply.
There's somebody who they love deeply. There's somebody who has
held them in their arms. And I think that, like
I wish that we could all like connect in a
way that I'm like, No, every fear that you have,
I also have. You know, every moment of love and
(40:34):
desire like all those things, I also have them too.
And and I pray for you to continue to live
your best life while also staying safe.
Speaker 3 (40:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (40:44):
Do you have any like fun predictions of what you
think will happen this year?
Speaker 5 (40:50):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (40:51):
I think that I really feel from I'm a woo
woo girl, I'm a spiritual girl, astrology girl. And I
also just feel I think a lot of people can
feel that there's going to be something big that's going
to happen this year that is going to be maybe
hard at first, but it's going to be necessary to
(41:13):
move forward with effective change. And it's always darkest before
the storm. And that's why I feel like, is that
what they say it's always darkest, it's it's always dark,
it's always out. Yeah, And and I I feel like
(41:33):
there's some people are saying it's it's almost the same
as like as big as like the pandemic, not the
the pandemic is coming back, but that's something as big
as uh, something like that's going to like rock us
And I also feel like more and more people are
going to just get really creative with this incoming change,
(41:57):
and I feel like we really need to work on
honing in on our artistic skills and what we're good
at to use it to be more of an activist
and to be louder about these certain things and issues.
So I don't know what's gonna go down, but I
know that, like my internal system is like, we're gonna
(42:18):
be good no matter what, like yeah, yeah, no matter
what too.
Speaker 4 (42:24):
I feel like politically and socially, I pray for all
those things too.
Speaker 3 (42:28):
I'm like, I think we'll be okay.
Speaker 4 (42:29):
I hope that we all have continued health and you know,
we all of our dreams come true. Selfishly, I am
waiting for the visuals for Renaissance.
Speaker 2 (42:40):
I just am like, come on, especially now we need it.
Speaker 3 (42:45):
Come on, just release the damn movie. Really, I don't
need the music videos, just release the movie.
Speaker 4 (42:52):
I literally bought myself speak speakers so I could watch
Renaissance a long time ago, forever ago.
Speaker 3 (42:59):
Ia for that. I'm waiting for Wicked too, of course, yes,
but who knows, Like, who knows what's going to happen?
And I think with the world.
Speaker 4 (43:08):
Like the way that we're going, I just am like, Lord,
just keep us close, keep us close, you know.
Speaker 5 (43:15):
Keep us close to your bosom.
Speaker 3 (43:17):
That's right. And now for the astrology section.
Speaker 2 (43:26):
Which sign do you want to date next year? Do
you want to try to date? I would like to
date a fire sign or an air sign. If they
have a little virgo, sure, but like, please Lord, release me,
release me from the torments, Like, have I not been
a connoisseur of virgos?
Speaker 4 (43:50):
You have to use your ari's toxicity to keep the
virgo there, that's.
Speaker 3 (43:54):
What they like.
Speaker 2 (43:55):
I don't want to do that. I just want them
to be like, okay.
Speaker 4 (43:59):
Is virgos are like air signs, like they're they're very
like they I don't want to have.
Speaker 2 (44:05):
To worry for nothing or nobody are or get lost.
Speaker 4 (44:09):
But didn't you tell me that virgos are the air
signs of the earth signs.
Speaker 2 (44:13):
Maybe it sounds like something maybe I would say, yeah.
Speaker 3 (44:16):
So I feel like, so when you meet one, just
treat them like shit. You'll be fine.
Speaker 5 (44:22):
Easier said the.
Speaker 4 (44:25):
Terrible advice. Everyone's like, don't play games if you don't
want to play. I'm like, play the game, girl, Like.
Speaker 3 (44:30):
Just that's it's games, there's tailors, all there's time.
Speaker 2 (44:34):
Well, if the world is ending, like I guess I
have to kind of do that, I guess just.
Speaker 3 (44:39):
Play the damn game. Be a little toxic. You know.
We played by the rule book for.
Speaker 4 (44:43):
So long that I'm like, I don't want to hurt anybody,
and I'm certainly going to keep it honest. I'm not
saying like cheat or treat people like shit like I'm
not saying that, but like, I just think, have fun.
Speaker 3 (44:54):
The silence. Oh wait, ko, what do you think? What
do you hope happens this year?
Speaker 2 (45:03):
Loadly quitching keybots, like a raise.
Speaker 5 (45:08):
For all of us.
Speaker 2 (45:10):
Maybe new since she's a k bot, since she us
A bought, Maybe some oil in her in her machine.
Speaker 4 (45:17):
Some new batteries, some new batteries, and the latest chat
GBT engine. She's I emoji she just said, big I
emojis guy.
Speaker 3 (45:33):
Yes, Yes, what do you hope happens in twenty twenty five?
Speaker 2 (45:35):
She's our AI bought completely not human by the way,
just kidding, she is she is humans. We're party see
And I think also you need to come to l A.
Speaker 3 (45:47):
Oh my god, come to LA for you? Sure to you.
Speaker 2 (45:51):
Yes, for sure, but we'll have to do two trips. Well,
maybe we'll go back with you or you come back
with us. We'll maybe do a little Disney, We'll do
a little beach, so please, and then maybe we'll do
a live episode where you're there the entire time.
Speaker 3 (46:08):
Amazing love.
Speaker 2 (46:09):
It concludes the astrology portion of the podcast to Nyeds
twenty five. Hey, I'm on your side twenty twenty five?
Speaker 5 (46:24):
Will you my twenty twenty five? Am I gonna die?
Speaker 2 (46:30):
No?
Speaker 3 (46:31):
Nope? Well, well how do you plead?
Speaker 2 (46:36):
I'm excited for this year. I have a lot of
different projects that I am really really really really really
wanting to. I've been speaking them into existence, and I
really hope that they exist this year. I hope they
get out of the hope station and go into the actual,
real life visual because I think what gets me energized
(46:59):
about this year is the fact that shit's gonna go
down this like sorry, but fuck this president, and it's
all gonna be pop star internet vibes. For me, I
feel like I'm just gonna try to a pop star Okay,
you know same.
Speaker 4 (47:16):
I think I'm gonna go with you on that one.
I love that pop star internet culture. I want the
Charlie XCX's, the Billie ii Lish.
Speaker 3 (47:24):
I want the pop star Gurlees.
Speaker 4 (47:27):
I want all the internet fund that we're gonna have,
like all the Saint hoax memes that we're gonna see.
Speaker 2 (47:33):
Okay, good, I know. And I want to reater fuck
Trump that part.
Speaker 4 (47:39):
Thank you, yeah, same plus two plus one plus one
buck Trump.
Speaker 2 (47:45):
Fuck Elon uh fuck all those bitches. Okay, thank you
so much for listening to another episode of the Super
Secret Betsy Club podcast.
Speaker 5 (47:55):
Curly, How can we find you on social media?
Speaker 4 (47:57):
You can find me on social media at the Curly
v Show, on TikTok and Instagram.
Speaker 3 (48:02):
Where can people find you?
Speaker 2 (48:03):
You can find me at Maya in the Moment, m
A y A in the Moment, anywhere where you scroll,
and on Blue Sky if you're on blue Sky, Blue.
Speaker 3 (48:11):
Sky, Blue Sky, what does she say like?
Speaker 4 (48:14):
Glynn uh and walk oh Sky.
Speaker 2 (48:19):
Yeah yeah, I forgot.
Speaker 3 (48:22):
Anyways, my bye bye.
Speaker 2 (48:26):
Make sure to hit that subscribe button to hear more
episodes every single week. The Super Secret Bestie Club podcast
is a production of Sonodo in partnership with iHeartRadio's Michael
Tha Podcast Network.
Speaker 4 (48:38):
For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Peep.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
Would you accept a click call from a Faners County jail.
Speaker 3 (00:04):
H Yes, Hello, Curly Maya.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
What happened last night?
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Why do I have a mump on my head?
Speaker 3 (00:11):
And why didn't just throw up? Good petty?
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Can you come pick me up?
Speaker 3 (00:15):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Well, happy twenty twenty five?
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Wait your turn?
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Do you know who I am?
Speaker 3 (00:21):
I have a podcast with my best friend. I'm on
my way just to get in here.
Speaker 4 (00:27):
My name is Curly and I'm Maya, and welcome to
the Super Secret Parstie Club podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
A super secret club where we talk about super secret themes.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
Yeah, like secrets that are super that's when it is.
Speaker 4 (00:41):
In each episode we'll talk about love, friendship, heartbreaks, men,
and of course our favorite secrets.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Get in here. Twenty twenty five. Everyone, we did it.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
We did it. We're actually recording this so in the past,
in the past, but this is just this is where
in the future.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Also, yeah, is it really? I'm not excited about twenty
twenty five. I'm not happy to be here.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
I mean, you could feel however you want to feel.
I think it's been a very rocky end of the year.
It's been a rocky year period, and I think that's
the thing that we also need to hold space for
as well, not just the lyrics of defying gravity from
people who are in the queer media, but you know,
(01:32):
hold space for people who may not be excited and
not pushing, like we said last year, not pushing those
kind of like goal oriented, you know, expence on them.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Well, here we are. How did you feel? How did
you feel about twenty twenty four?
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Oh, my god, twenty twenty four. That's a loaded question.
A lot of unearthing and a lot of hurting and
a lot of healing.
Speaker 5 (01:57):
I feel how's your spirit?
Speaker 3 (02:00):
It's good?
Speaker 4 (02:01):
I mean, don't you kind of feel like twenty twenty
four was like a bunch of years in one year.
Like I will look at pictures from like March of
twenty twenty four and be like, how was that this year? Like,
or I'll look at pictures from like June and I'm like,
how was that all in the same year.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
I don't understand it.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Yeah, I feel like I've been sleeping a lot this
year and definitely just kind of like, oh, it's it's sober,
it's done, okay.
Speaker 4 (02:28):
See, I feel like I've been like I've lived like
seventy two lives this year where I've been like, oh,
I wore that, and I dressed like that, and my
hair was like that, Oh my hair was a lot
darker earlier this year. And now I'm like a good
silver like all these different things, and I'm like, I'm ready.
I'm ready for a long nap, Like I'm ready to
take a nap. In twenty twenty five.
Speaker 5 (02:48):
I feel like the opposite.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
I feel like I'm ready to like really be more
social out of the house, not hermit crab anymore. I
feel like being more attentive to those types of things.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
So excited.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
I really feel like twenty twenty four I was an
extreme hermit crab. I didn't go to a lot of
things this year, huh, like I or I would cancel
or I would flake like. And I feel like none
of it had to do with the fact that I'm like,
I just don't want to go or I just I
just really genuinely did not feel like it because I
(03:26):
didn't feel good in my body, and I didn't feel
like I would be a good asset or you know,
partner in crime to have to be outside and I
just want I just needed to like lick my wounds
a little bit and jah.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:40):
Well, I'm definitely excited because I feel like one of
the things that I realized about myself is that even
though I'm hermit ish, like, I do have like life
fomo and I love to like I want to go
try this random taco spot. I want to go like
in a hutder balloon. I want to do all these things,
but I don't like to do them alone. So I'm like, yes,
let's go. Oh, like what are we going to do?
(04:01):
What are we gonna see? Like I want to be
like little baddies at like a party or like a bar,
even though I don't drink, you know.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
I know, I want to flash it to hear too.
Mom closed your ears.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
Your mom was like in my day, Oh my god.
I literally was talking to my parent. I was talking
to my dad about like he was like, We've always
been very open about sex and talking about all that stuff.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
That's how we are.
Speaker 4 (04:26):
And I'm like, yeah, and I like, I'm open with
my sister about it. I'm open with both my parents
about it. And my grandmother released up the tone for
being open about sex. And my Dia would show us
like she was a nurse. She's a nurse, so she
would show us like books with like sci photos and
we were just very open with stuff very early on,
and Shanty was like, I don't think that's the.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
Norm. Probably like I don't think that's like most because
we were.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
Like, doesn't everybody every family do the yet doesn't everybody
tell talked about that stuff?
Speaker 2 (04:59):
And they're like, no, my grandma would, My grandma would.
But it was like, uh, do you want to I
had your dad at sixteen years old?
Speaker 5 (05:09):
Close your legs.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
Yeah, yeah, it would very much be.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Like, look, I got pregnant at sixteen, and none of
the girls got pregnant at sixteen, none of the grandchildren,
which is great, but it was definitely like a you know,
there's no conversation, healthy conversation like that. It was either
don't do it or just don't talk about it.
Speaker 4 (05:28):
Yeah yeah, I feel like for me, it was like
like not details, like not graphic details, but very like
oh yeah that's normal, or has it happened to you,
or like well we're trying this, or like I would
tell I would tell my parents like he doesn't even
shower and he wants to fuck me? Are you serious?
And they would be like yeah, that's crazy, and you know.
(05:50):
People were like, that's not the norm bo, you know,
but I think that is. It is really nice that
we do have like that open. There's nothing that I
don't talk to my family about. Literally nothing that I
will not bring.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
Up to my family.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
How does your family feel about like New Year's and stuff?
Do you guys do any traditions or celebrations?
Speaker 4 (06:08):
You know, growing up, my parents were really into like SASA,
and my dad still has a really cool Sasa Instagram.
It's called you should definitely go check it out. But
they used to go to clubs all the time. They
would go to parties. They would go to clubs and
I would be with friends or I would be like,
can I have friends over at the house. I remember
one year I had a bunch of my girlfriends come over.
(06:29):
I had a bunch of like faux forur and for
vintage jackets, and we all were just wearing fur, and
like I had a bunch of fake designer sunglasses from
Guaya Ho in downtown.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
So we're all in our sunglasses, we're all in our.
Speaker 4 (06:41):
Furs, and we're just drinking champagne around the TV waiting
for the for the vaulted job.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
So maybe I should bring that tradition back, but I don't.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Also, I think that sounds so much fun. I think
I my family doesn't really do like New Year's traditions
like that. I think one year when I was here,
my mom and I just like watched the ball drop
and then my dad went to sleep early. He goes,
you know, yeah, goes to bed. He goes to bed
at like eight or nine, but like he wakes up
like this morning. I'm here in Phoenix. This morning, I
(07:11):
was like, it must be like three in the morning,
and I was like, what are you doing up? He's
like it's six in the morning, almost seven. I'm like, oh,
good night. Like he goes to bed and you know, early,
and then wakes up super early.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
That's so real, like going to bed before the New
Year even comes.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Yes, yeah, it's kind of a slay cause it's kind
of like I don't care whatever, okay, yeah, and then
you wake up. But I really think next year, or
I guess it's this year, twenty twenty five, I would
really love to do more community events and community parties
like that.
Speaker 5 (07:44):
Like I think you should totally.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
I mean, can you imagine if you threw a party
curly that was like.
Speaker 5 (07:49):
That it would be fucking on top so fun. It
would be so much fun.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
And I think because twenty twenty four was, I feel
like it was just a really lone year. I feel
like I feel like all of these years I've felt
really lonely in some capacity, and not in a negative way,
it's just you just kind of feel it. I feel
like my family's in Phoenix and I'm in la and
you just kind of like, since we haven't been at Bettle, like,
I felt like I've missed that kind of community. And
(08:16):
I think I would definitely love to do more community
events like that or parties, just because you know, I
love seeing those tiktoks where they're doing those like holiday games.
You know, I should do.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
A little something. I should do a little something.
Speaker 5 (08:32):
I think so.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
But I feel like twenty twenty.
Speaker 4 (08:34):
Five, like I am excited for myself in a lot
of ways, like and my friends and family, because it's
just would a blessing to be alive, would a blessing
to see another year.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
You know.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
I remember when waking up on January first of the
year two thousand and being like.
Speaker 3 (08:51):
We're live. We didn't die. Now we're live.
Speaker 4 (08:55):
In twenty twelve, like same thing, like we're live, like
we made it. Well, no, it would have been twenty yeah,
December twenty four, twenty twelve.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
Once we woke up the next day, it was the
same thing. So it's a blessing.
Speaker 4 (09:05):
I don't know that politically or like socially, I'm looking
forward to twenty twenty five. But what I am looking
forward to is Wicked Part two. And I just feel
like Wicked two is just going to save us.
Speaker 5 (09:21):
And this is a year from now.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
I mean, yeah, a year from November, I agree, And
I wonder where will be then, you know. And I
mean I think that's kind of a great marker too,
for them to split the movies up, because you kind
of feel like there's been some time in some distance
because the movie does pick up five years later, right,
does like a time jump, so you I mean, it
(09:45):
starts the movie with like in the future, and then
you know, we see like the prequel of everything, and
then it goes to I guess it's like present day
for them. But yeah, it kind of feels like sometime,
so maybe it feels like we've earned it a little bit.
Speaker 5 (09:57):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
I mean, Wicked was amazing, well, you said that you
get terrible anxiety.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
Oh my god. Yeah, celebration weird, Yeah, I have this.
Well that's yeah. I feel like holidays that have to.
Speaker 4 (10:10):
Do with a lot of drinking and stuff, like I
turned into a Senora. I'm like, no, man, you know,
like don't drink so much and and like don't go driving.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
Like I'm like, please get somebody to drive you.
Speaker 4 (10:24):
Like, I just get so worried, Like I truly just
get so worried for all the people. I get worried
for all the fireworks in LA, for all the dogs.
I'm just like it just kind of is overstimulating to me.
And I don't know why, but when I was really young,
I started to start to develop this fear that I
was going to die on New Years, or that somebody
that I loved was going to die on New Years
(10:45):
because it was just so crazy. So like I think
last year was the first year that I ever really
let myself be like it's okay to have the anxiety,
but maybe it's going to be fine, you know. But
like do you are do you get like that? Are
you or are you like a new your goal?
Speaker 2 (11:00):
I'm a New Year girl. I'm a I'm a holiday celebrations. Girl,
I think because my mom is super an ultra extrovert,
positive person, and she's she's excited to wake up every
single morning. She she says sometimes she can't she has
trouble sleeping at night because she's so excited for the
next day. Yes, like all the possibilities everything. And I
(11:25):
would say I'm half that because sometimes I'm like, thank god,
I can go to bed to turn off.
Speaker 5 (11:30):
My just stop existing for a little bit.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
And I'm like, oh again, okay, you know, like yeah, yeah.
My mom's like you know, and she.
Speaker 5 (11:48):
Wakes up and she's like are you ready?
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Like that's just who she is.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
We're talking about.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
Wait for a second, explain how excited you are to
wake up for each day.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Well, for first of all, at nighttime, I can't fall
asleep because I'm excited of the stuff.
Speaker 5 (12:04):
I get to do the next day.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
When I wake I just I wake up and I
think today's going to be a good day. I'm excited
for all the things I'm gonna feel proud of when
I go to bed that night.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
And that's imagine how excited my mom is for New Years.
And so that's what I kind of grew up around
is very much instilled in like be excited for this
next year, like the possibilities are endless and the endless
are possibilities, you know.
Speaker 5 (12:36):
So I don't think I have that anxiety.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
I think I'm just like, oh man, it happen. Even
like we did an episode with an astrologer Melissa, who
was like, oh, aries are probably gonna have like.
Speaker 5 (12:47):
A wild year.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
I'm like, you know what, good, then more character development
for me, you know, more for the autobiography. You know
what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Oh my god. I know something.
Speaker 4 (13:00):
I feel like part of what I like about life
is how exciting and how surprising it can be. And
I think that is as much as the surprises can
be scary, they can also be like exciting and good
in a lot of ways. But like, I feel like
twenty twenty four had so many different things.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
We saw so many different things, like the election.
Speaker 4 (13:20):
I feel like Drake kind of lost a lot of
street cred, especially when he sued Kendrick and Diddy.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
Is in two.
Speaker 4 (13:29):
We had brat summer, We had a Sabrina Carpenter moment.
It was like a Chapel Rowan year. It was like
the year of the girls, I would say Billy MoU
Dang and the Olympics, you know, But what would you
say was like your favorite pop culture moment of twenty
twenty four.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
My favorite pop culture moment of twenty twenty four was
when my baby nephew, Guillermot turned one years old. That
was you were there, That was was there. That was
a very a wonderful pop culture moment. But honestly, Season
three of Bridgerton, the carriage ride moment, the mirror scene,
(14:10):
even on these streets when they were like just gonna
hook up in the streets and then a carriage rode by,
like and also my little personal tie to it that
I was able to in twenty twenty two visit the
set and got dressed up and then had to wait
until twenty twenty four and then it came out and
I got to be a part of like a little
tiny part of like the little promotional moment, and that
(14:34):
was very, very cool, and I really did. I know
a lot of people have conflicting opinions about Bridgerton Season three, but.
Speaker 5 (14:42):
I really liked it.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
I thought that their chemistry was great, and I think
that I didn't read the books, but I feel like
I want to read the books now, because like the
carriage Ride was so oh, it was so good, and
you know, this was kind of like I did not
date anyone or have I barely had any crushes this
year that lasted, so this really held me up for
(15:05):
the whole Yeah, I gotta watch it.
Speaker 4 (15:09):
I started season one, I finished season one, I started
season two.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
I didn't finish that one. But maybe I should just
skip to season three.
Speaker 5 (15:16):
Huh uh.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Yeah, well, I mean people say that they love season
two of Bridgerton, like that it's one of the best ones,
But I really feel like they stretched on, like they
blew ball us. Sorry they did, Okay, I feel like
they stretched it out until the final like two episodes
versus you know in uh, I don't know. You get
you see a lot of action in season three Bridgerton,
and it's a friends to lovers moment and it's you
(15:42):
find out who Lady whistle you know, who Lady whistledown
is and if she's going to reveal herself or not.
Like it just has a lot of very juicy plot moments.
Speaker 3 (15:52):
Is there going to be season four?
Speaker 5 (15:53):
Yeah, they're already filming it.
Speaker 3 (15:55):
Oh wow, Well be for them.
Speaker 4 (16:13):
I feel like my pop culture moment is the return
of Lindsay Lohan. Oh yeah, I I am so excited.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
I love Lindsay. I've always been like such a Lindsay stand.
Speaker 5 (16:24):
Like beamin button I okay.
Speaker 4 (16:27):
My favorite Internet memes right now are like it'll be
like beautiful waves on like an island and somebody holding
like a drink and being like this is what I
want for me and whatever Lindsay Lohan had, And I
just love that there's so many people talking about our
lastic surgery.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
She looks good, she looks amazing.
Speaker 4 (16:46):
And I was having lunch with somebody and they were
saying like, yeah, yeah, I'm really happy that she's back
to work and she's doing her Christmas movies for Netflix.
But like, is everything okay? Like did everybody forget that?
Like she tried kidnapping a woman and her baby on
IG Live yeah, and was like you must come with me?
Speaker 3 (17:03):
Yeah come? What was her accent?
Speaker 4 (17:07):
Like you must come? You cannot be alone here and vote,
And it was just like do you.
Speaker 3 (17:12):
All forget that? She was a dancing drunk at the bar?
Speaker 4 (17:15):
Was everything she was like everything is yeah? Likes everything okay,
Like there's a fresh coat. You know, I always say,
it's just a fresh coat of paint.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
She's done a lot for us growing up that she
you know, I don't remember that moment, but I remember,
I remember.
Speaker 4 (17:35):
Now, Yeah, beautiful, she was beautiful, and like I just
you know, she deserves the beautiful new face or whatever
she's doing, like she deserves the pearly whites. And what
I like about too, is that I feel like a
lot of times in Hollywood you hear about women getting canceled.
You hear about old actresses, like not old in age,
but like older actresses from like the maybe the forties
(17:55):
or the fifties who aged out, or celebrities who weren't
kind of been an opportunity.
Speaker 5 (18:01):
To catch down me by the way, I.
Speaker 4 (18:03):
Know, it's so cool to see Lindsay and a lot
of other actors is kind of have a resurgence and
a moment. I really feel like nostalgia has held and
like held and carried a lot of these people to
have like another resurgence in their career, and I love that.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
I think that's pretty.
Speaker 4 (18:21):
You know, we saw it with some of the actors
from everything everywhere, all at once. We saw it with like,
you know, we see it with share every two months,
Like it's just like a thing that nostalgia just carries people.
But aside from that, like, what do you feel was
your favorite memory of this year?
Speaker 2 (18:39):
Oh, I think it has to do when my family,
my cousins, and I went to Spain. It was so
much fun because it was all like Latina, Chicanas from
Phoenix and all from different generations and different times and oh,
my parents are here, they're making out right now.
Speaker 5 (19:04):
I'm just kidding me. So yeah, we went to.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Spain for like about two ish weeks and it was
so much fun because it was the first time that
we all got to be together in a while, other
than we always used to see each other again either
at funerals or maybe at birthday things or Thanksgiving, but
this was when we all were like, we're locking in.
(19:28):
We don't want to just see each other at funerals.
We don't just we want to spend quality time together.
And my cousins, Micano cousins, they travel everywhere every single year,
They've been all over the world, so this was the
year we're like, we're going and it was just so
much fun because I got so close, so much closer
to them like so much femme chicana energy like that
(19:50):
was just so potent and inspiring and it just yeah
feels it felt so good in a year where I
felt like a little bit lonely, like being out in
LA and coming to Spain and with my cousins and
just like having all these adventures with them. And you know,
my grandpa had passed away when I was a teenager,
(20:12):
and so I got to connect with my grandpa's brothers
kids who their dad. My grandpa's brothers like passed away,
you know, a while ago, so we all kind of
got to connect deeper. And I felt like they were
with us on this trip and it was just so beautiful.
Speaker 5 (20:29):
So I didn't like Spain. Fuck Spain.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Sorry, Yeah, but I loved traveling with my cousins and
my mommy.
Speaker 4 (20:36):
You know, I have like the same sort of memories
actually the same energy. Like this year, one of like
the spirits of my family passed away, Yahina, and parts
of my family that haven't been talking to each other
for over a decade kind of came back together for
our goodbye basically, and not all of us stuck together afterwards,
(20:58):
but my generation and underneath us, like the cousins kind
of all did and we travel together. And I think
that your the Latina energy that you're talking about is
just so healing.
Speaker 3 (21:09):
And then it almost.
Speaker 4 (21:10):
Feels a little easier to carry the spirit world with
us too, Like I know we carry both of my
grandmothers with us. I know we carry one of my
deals with us and my Tiahina that just passed, Like
I can feel that they want they wanted this for us.
Speaker 3 (21:24):
Like with my primas we went to Costa.
Speaker 4 (21:26):
Rica, we had no idea where were going, what we
were doing, had it, but we did it. And then
just this past week we went camping, my first time
with no running water. I had it last I will
say that the moment that has moved me deeply.
Speaker 3 (21:43):
I mean at the end of the year.
Speaker 4 (21:44):
But like I had a because of the last week.
I was talking about how they stole my tires from
my car, and when we were putting on the spare
tires to drive it to the dealer, my dad was like,
I'm going to show you how to put spare tires on.
And that's something that I've never learned, Like I just
never I've been a gay boy since birth. I never
(22:04):
cared about it. I couldn't retain it. I'm not interested
in changing tires, but this time, because it was my car,
it was me, my dad was doing me a favor.
I was like, I'm gonna get on the fucking floor.
So there we are, like literally in the middle of
the street, on the floor in a residential street in
Los Angeles, and I'm kind of doing things that boys
do with their dads, right, and just having that moment
(22:26):
of just being with my dad and being like, oh
my god, I just feel so you know how you
just have those moments sometimes you're like I don't know
what to do. I just need my dad. We talked
about it and we're like, how do we put air
in our tires?
Speaker 5 (22:39):
And that's all yeah, and that's the thing.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Yeah, I love that, you.
Speaker 4 (22:44):
Know, having him there was just very like I literally
once you put the tires on the car and we
drove to the dealer, I just cried the whole way
there because I was just like so thankful, Like, yeah,
I recognized it as a blessing that I might not
have forever and a lot of people don't have, and
just being able to just witness that moment for myself
(23:04):
I might not be the richest person, and I might
not be you know, whatever, whatever, whatever, but being able
to share that time in that space with anybody that
you love and have a have like a core memory
like that, like, oh, I remember that I changed my
tire with my dad for the first time in my
late thirties.
Speaker 3 (23:20):
It was great.
Speaker 4 (23:20):
And then now I text. Now I'm like texting all
my gay friends and I'm like, do you know how
to change tires?
Speaker 2 (23:24):
They're like no, I'm like I do, right, right, Yeah.
Speaker 5 (23:27):
I think this.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
I think twenty twenty four was definitely about, you know,
since we're in our thirties, like how are we going
to carry on and help heal our generation or our
legacy as a family. And you do that through your
cousins and through you know, spending that time with your
elders and soaking up all those moments. And I think
(23:50):
that's why in twenty twenty four I had really had
a realization where I felt my spirit wanting to come
back to Arizona to not miss out on those moments
with my parents, or not miss out all those moments
with you know, the babies in my family and my cousins.
And it's funny because one of my friends who I
(24:11):
kind of grew up with. Her parents are also artists
in the in the in the Phoenix scene, we found
out that we're cousins and so that like changed everything.
But she lived in LA and then she recently moved
back to Phoenix, and I was like, how did you
know that she wanted to move back? And at that time,
I was like, I'm not living back, and then she
was like, you just know, you just feel your spirit.
(24:32):
And I felt like I felt my spirit this year
making certain decisions and choices that I was like, this
may turn out ugly for the moment, but I know
this is going to be very beneficial to the lineage
or to myself. And I know I'm moving out of
a people people pleaser people people people pleaser, you know.
(24:53):
Era and I just had a lot of different like
realizations that I was like, I have never felt this before.
I never thought I would feel this, but I do,
and I'm just gonna have to go with it and
honor it, you.
Speaker 5 (25:04):
Know, yeah, absolutely, which is a lesson.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
Also that I feel like I learned was just like
I feel like I have not been able to be
uh to completely one hundred percent to.
Speaker 5 (25:17):
Be about myself.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
I feel like I'm always like helping other people or
like looking out for other people, which there's nothing.
Speaker 5 (25:26):
Wrong with that.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
I love that quality, But at times I feel like
I'm serving other people and my friendship is to serve
other people versus like, do they actually make the effort
to be in complete tandem with me in like making
sure this friendship is equal parts showing up? And I
felt like there was a lot of things this year
(25:48):
where I didn't see people show up and I felt
myself not showing up, you know, and you know a
lot of lessons where I was like, I kept resisting
those things and I just had to let myself go
through that and feel them and not hold back and
just cry if I needed to cry, hide myself if
I needed to hide, and just keep things to myself,
(26:10):
you know. So I think that was a lesson that
I learned that I was like, you are allowed to
take up space, and you're also allowed to be alone
if you want to be alone. And you're also allowed
to not do the things that you want to do
anymore like that that you used to do.
Speaker 3 (26:25):
Like that's real. People. Pleasing is a real thing.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
It's Yeah, it's also a form of like, how much
of the people pleasing thing was unrealized portion of manipulation
of like in terms of like, you know, some some
of it is like out of survival.
Speaker 5 (26:41):
But when you.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
Are a people pleaser, you want to show your friends
and other people that I'm a good person. I can
show up for you. Here are the things I provide
as a friend. Yes, I can do that for you.
Not really listening to yourself if you actually want to
do those things or yeah, the consequences if you don't
do those things, Like if I didn't do X, Y
(27:04):
and Z, are they still going to want to be
my friend? I don't even want to. I don't want
to find that out. So I'm just going to do it.
I'm going to say, I'm going to set this up
to see if it's you know, to see if everyone
wants to you know, And in the end it makes
you stressed out, it makes you type, and it makes
you not fun to be around.
Speaker 5 (27:18):
So I just stop.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
Yeah, that's real. Yeah, you know, it's a toll.
Speaker 4 (27:21):
I think as you get older, you start to realize that,
like you will have the people who will go over
and beyond for you. You don't need to be the
most popular person in the room. You don't need to
be the most loved person in the room. You can
have your core people that you do stuff for. They
will reciprocate. And I think that's a great lesson. I
think for me, like this year was like regaining my
confidence in a lot of ways and regaining So I
(27:45):
saw this really interesting thing. I forget where it was,
but it was saying that if you repeat something out loud,
or you repeat it to yourself every single day, three
times a day, for twenty one days. So I had
a list I wrote like when I put one to
twenty one, and every day I would check in three
times and I would put like a little little a
(28:06):
little like line or whatever to say that I did it,
and it would be like my affirmation. So my affirmations
were like more about like my beauty and my brains.
Like somewhere along the line, I started to believe that
I wasn't smart, Like somewhere along the line, I started
to believe that I wasn't like intelligent or could bring something.
Speaker 3 (28:26):
To the table.
Speaker 4 (28:27):
And I when I wasn't like that before, you know,
before I used to be like I'm an artist, but
I'm not dumb, like I'm an artist, but I can
I can handle, I can have an intellectual conversation with you.
And then somewhere along the line, I started to be like,
huh what like a little bit more like airheady and
I'm like, no, I'm not that, you know, And then
(28:48):
people and then even just like the way that I
look right, like, I think getting out of a relationship
where I didn't feel like I looked good and I
think that I had to kind of like regain my
confidence in a lot of ways. And what's been really
interesting is that through so and because of you too,
like you know, you always taught me to like money
loves me, Money's coming money, like you know, I kind
(29:10):
of have been repeating those three things, and I can
feel myself like catching the voice in my head where it's.
Speaker 3 (29:17):
Like no, no, no, we know.
Speaker 4 (29:20):
Yes, sometimes we lose focus because we're adhd yes sometimes
of this, but like we're not dumb. Pick up where
you left off, like you weren't listening, pay attention now,
like okay, Like I was measuring my curtains and I
was like, okay, fifty five by seventy five and I'm
like or it was like fifty eight by seventy eight,
and I was like, oh, what was it again? I'm like, curly,
you know how to focus. It's you know what you saw.
(29:43):
You don't need to measure it again for the second
or the third time, which also might be my OCD.
But like I think allowing myself to trust myself more.
And then I think that losing yet another person in
my life that I just loved so deeply because I
I lost her this year, when I lost my fay
hated this year, like I did fall into a depression,
(30:04):
like a legit depression that.
Speaker 3 (30:06):
I didn't know, like until I got medicated that I.
Speaker 4 (30:09):
Was in this like deep deep fog, like you know,
trigger warning, like going into ideating, questioning everything, like what
is the purpose of life? Like why am I even here?
If I'm just going to get to a certain age
where I might get sick, or like you know, I
might not ever get to my dreams because these people,
no matter how old.
Speaker 3 (30:28):
They are, still have dreams.
Speaker 4 (30:31):
And then I think that once I got medicated, it
helped me kind of look at that and be like,
we don't know all those things, but I certainly do
have control over what I do have control over and
that's like exactly to your point, how am I spending
my time? How am I spending the love that I
have to give for people? Like you know what am
I doing? There's no wrong answers. I mean you see
(30:53):
it even politically where you have this terrible man like
our president right now, who is continuing to win, and
you start to kind of go like, is karma even real?
Speaker 3 (31:03):
Like is it? You know? On the view, Joy.
Speaker 4 (31:06):
Behar was like, is karma like fucking Sanna like in
the tooth Fairy? Like is it something that we just
teach our kids?
Speaker 3 (31:12):
Like what is it?
Speaker 4 (31:12):
And so me kind of giving the space to be like,
you know what if that that man can be terrible
and still win, I can say the wrong thing at
lunch and I'll be fine, you know what I mean?
Like I can say something accidentally you know where I'm
talking about, I don't know, fighting a dildo out of
bad ass, and I'm like it's fine, I'll win, people
(31:33):
will people will forget it, and people.
Speaker 3 (31:34):
Will move on.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
Yes, yeah, I think that's I think I also learned
that sometimes you need to sit in your own shit,
not literally, but like take hold yourself accountable and like
for the things that you have been speaking about yourself
or speaking on other things and maybe poisoning the well
(31:59):
a little bit, like and realizing like that doesn't feel
good and I don't want to do that anymore. So yeah, yeah,
sometimes you just words are things. Sometimes you just need
to sit in your own ship and be like this
is stinky girl.
Speaker 4 (32:13):
Yeah. Also, don't sit to your ship for too long
because you'll get a rash.
Speaker 3 (32:32):
No.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
Also, uh, I was like, this is kind of gross,
but I had like ball ask corn last night and
then I in the morning. My mom should not say that.
Oh she's saying no. But I was like, you know,
you had a good time when you have corn in
your poop?
Speaker 3 (32:50):
Was it your poop or her poop?
Speaker 2 (32:51):
My poop?
Speaker 3 (32:52):
Oh? Yeah, we'll tell us you. I love a good
poop story.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
Yeah, I said, you know you have you had a
good time last night when you see corn in your
poop the next day and you're like.
Speaker 5 (33:00):
That was a good yep.
Speaker 3 (33:02):
What are some things that you would want to leave behind.
Speaker 2 (33:06):
I would love to leave behind taking things personal. I
feel like I've worked on that a lot hard and expectations.
That's one of the biggest things that my mom and
I talk about and she's always like, stop expecting things,
stop having expectations, because I think she sees me getting
hurt all the time.
Speaker 5 (33:25):
Myself.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
I'm hurting myself ninety five percent of the time, you know,
by being like what does this mean? What does that mean?
Speaker 5 (33:31):
And I see you when other people.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
Do it, and I'm like, girl, not everything's a value anyway.
And then I'm like taking things so personal, and so
that's like a number one thing that I'm like, everybody
truly is looking out for themselves in their own heads,
in their own minds. Yeah, nobody is thinking about you
like that. Nobody is thinking about other people like that.
(33:53):
They're literally just like focused on themselves, and you deserve
to focus on your too. Like I used to get
so upset when I feel like people weren't being considerate
of other people or the group or myself. And I'm like,
you know what, Like not that I would ever lose
that part of me and not being considerate, but I'm
just like everyone else.
Speaker 5 (34:16):
Is doing it.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
Everyone else is kind of looking out for themselves. I
need to too. I need to as well, but also
not take things so personal because we all know what
it's like to get stuck in your own brain and
kind of like not reach out for a while, or
you never know what other people are going through and
not everything is like an attack, an attack towards you,
(34:39):
or you know, a retaliation or you know. It just
is like you know, if they have the guts to
say it to your face, then cool. If something's really wrong,
and if not, then everything's cool. Everything's chill. I'm gonna
go on like normal.
Speaker 4 (34:54):
I saw this guru talking about how the opposite of
love is not hate. And I've always said that the
opposite of love is like indifference, like you just don't care,
but he was saying that the opposite of love is
like detachment, where like you're so detached. He's like, you
cannot hate something that you don't even know exists. You
cannot love something that you don't even know is there.
(35:15):
Like he's like, you bring all these things into your life,
your cell phone, your money, your houses, your boyfriends, whatever
to help you with your life, and the minute that
you attach yourself to it, like you create like this
madness for yourself because if you lose it or you
don't get it or whatever, like you it hurts you
a lot. And so I think that I want to
(35:35):
work on things that I am attached to, you know,
which related to like expectations, which is related to like
ideas of what I had for myself, while also remembering
that a lot of what I had done with have
done with my life right now, even down to the
way that I look, even down to the way that
(35:55):
my body is, was a manifestation that I started for
myself years ago as a kid, right like I used
to fucking like I remember as a kid, I used
to fucking like grab my lung has and be like
me personally, I'm like, oh, one day, I'm gonna.
Speaker 3 (36:11):
Like get my little tummy done. You know what I mean?
I just I don't know.
Speaker 4 (36:14):
And then I fucking got older and I saved up
my money, and I remember when I talked to you,
and I was like, am I making a dumb choice?
Because I've been saving up for a very long time
to get my tummy done? And like, you know, I
do I do this? And you were like, what if
you could have it all? Like what if you could
like do.
Speaker 2 (36:31):
Both like shit me off, girl?
Speaker 4 (36:37):
And so I think that even just like that, like
going for it, shooting my shot, like honoring where my
life has brought me honoring where my life like hasn't
brought me yet and kind of just like not trying
not to be.
Speaker 3 (36:50):
You know that line in Queen.
Speaker 4 (36:52):
Latifa's movie The Last Holiday, where she's talking in the
mirror and she's just like, next time will laugh more,
we'll do, we'll see more what she goes, we'll see
the world she goes.
Speaker 3 (37:03):
We just won't be so scared.
Speaker 4 (37:04):
And I think that line is always like, yeah, girl, yeah,
it always hits me.
Speaker 2 (37:13):
I want to like dig my nails into my skull
right now, go.
Speaker 3 (37:17):
And what do you.
Speaker 4 (37:18):
Feel like is a lesson that people around you learn
in twenty twenty five?
Speaker 3 (37:23):
It could be people in the world or people like
I think.
Speaker 2 (37:26):
People learn that everyone is in their own headspace. Like
I think I think collectively with the way the political
system went down or the way people voted, is that
we all assumed things about each other. But I don't
think we were as connected as a collective as we've
(37:47):
been before because of different opposing factors. And I feel
like what we will and I feel like I'm kind
of going into the next question of what do you
hope people will learn? I feel like ba based on
that we're going to be more connected as a collective,
to be on the same page with things so that
this shit never happens again. And I'm talking about the
(38:10):
presidency with Trump. I really really hope that we are
able to push back as much as we can because
a lot of people think that our groceries are going
to be cheaper. A lot of people think that, and girl,
it's like that quote. It's like that quote in American
Horror Story where she's like, or what you stupid, you
(38:33):
stupid slut, The groceries are not going to be more expensive,
or groceries are going to be more expensive or something like.
It's so funny because it's like I feel like a
lot of people thought last year, and that's just not
what's gonna happen. You know, We're gonna see a lot
of consequences of our actions of what happens when we're
(38:55):
not all on the same page with each other. And
I think that, like we're all so everyone's fed up
with how the political system is, you know, we're just
all fed up with it.
Speaker 4 (39:07):
Yeah, yeah, I hope that. I hope the same thing too.
I hope that, like this year, I just feel like
I wish that more people could learn truly what compassion means, truly,
what like consideration means, empathy and not necessarily moving from
fear all the time, like you and I both and
so many of my friends and our family, Like we
(39:29):
want this genocide to be over, you know what I mean,
Like we want to see that be over and done with.
I just was watching this guy on TikTok talking to
other people, and there was a lot of like hate
for Palestine, like just so much hate and just so
much like pride in the killings of all of that
(39:50):
and the killings that are happening over there, and just
even that level of like people losing compassion over the
human right. Like I was sitting in my car the
day and I was like, I think that for me,
love is what keeps us all alive. I think that
love is kind of like what holds everything together, because
no matter how horrible you might think someone is, or
(40:13):
what you might opinion you might have with somebody, like
for better or for worse, there's somebody who loves them deeply.
There's somebody who they love deeply. There's somebody who has
held them in their arms. And I think that, like
I wish that we could all like connect in a
way that I'm like, No, every fear that you have,
I also have. You know, every moment of love and
(40:34):
desire like all those things, I also have them too.
And and I pray for you to continue to live
your best life while also staying safe.
Speaker 3 (40:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (40:44):
Do you have any like fun predictions of what you
think will happen this year?
Speaker 5 (40:50):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (40:51):
I think that I really feel from I'm a woo
woo girl, I'm a spiritual girl, astrology girl. And I
also just feel I think a lot of people can
feel that there's going to be something big that's going
to happen this year that is going to be maybe
hard at first, but it's going to be necessary to
(41:13):
move forward with effective change. And it's always darkest before
the storm. And that's why I feel like, is that
what they say it's always darkest, it's it's always dark,
it's always out. Yeah, And and I I feel like
(41:33):
there's some people are saying it's it's almost the same
as like as big as like the pandemic, not the
the pandemic is coming back, but that's something as big
as uh, something like that's going to like rock us
And I also feel like more and more people are
going to just get really creative with this incoming change,
(41:57):
and I feel like we really need to work on
honing in on our artistic skills and what we're good
at to use it to be more of an activist
and to be louder about these certain things and issues.
So I don't know what's gonna go down, but I
know that, like my internal system is like, we're gonna
(42:18):
be good no matter what, like yeah, yeah, no matter
what too.
Speaker 4 (42:24):
I feel like politically and socially, I pray for all
those things too.
Speaker 3 (42:28):
I'm like, I think we'll be okay.
Speaker 4 (42:29):
I hope that we all have continued health and you know,
we all of our dreams come true. Selfishly, I am
waiting for the visuals for Renaissance.
Speaker 2 (42:40):
I just am like, come on, especially now we need it.
Speaker 3 (42:45):
Come on, just release the damn movie. Really, I don't
need the music videos, just release the movie.
Speaker 4 (42:52):
I literally bought myself speak speakers so I could watch
Renaissance a long time ago, forever ago.
Speaker 3 (42:59):
Ia for that. I'm waiting for Wicked too, of course, yes,
but who knows, Like, who knows what's going to happen?
And I think with the world.
Speaker 4 (43:08):
Like the way that we're going, I just am like, Lord,
just keep us close, keep us close, you know.
Speaker 5 (43:15):
Keep us close to your bosom.
Speaker 3 (43:17):
That's right. And now for the astrology section.
Speaker 2 (43:26):
Which sign do you want to date next year? Do
you want to try to date? I would like to
date a fire sign or an air sign. If they
have a little virgo, sure, but like, please Lord, release me,
release me from the torments, Like, have I not been
a connoisseur of virgos?
Speaker 4 (43:50):
You have to use your ari's toxicity to keep the
virgo there, that's.
Speaker 3 (43:54):
What they like.
Speaker 2 (43:55):
I don't want to do that. I just want them
to be like, okay.
Speaker 4 (43:59):
Is virgos are like air signs, like they're they're very
like they I don't want to have.
Speaker 2 (44:05):
To worry for nothing or nobody are or get lost.
Speaker 4 (44:09):
But didn't you tell me that virgos are the air
signs of the earth signs.
Speaker 2 (44:13):
Maybe it sounds like something maybe I would say, yeah.
Speaker 3 (44:16):
So I feel like, so when you meet one, just
treat them like shit. You'll be fine.
Speaker 5 (44:22):
Easier said the.
Speaker 4 (44:25):
Terrible advice. Everyone's like, don't play games if you don't
want to play. I'm like, play the game, girl, Like.
Speaker 3 (44:30):
Just that's it's games, there's tailors, all there's time.
Speaker 2 (44:34):
Well, if the world is ending, like I guess I
have to kind of do that, I guess just.
Speaker 3 (44:39):
Play the damn game. Be a little toxic. You know.
We played by the rule book for.
Speaker 4 (44:43):
So long that I'm like, I don't want to hurt anybody,
and I'm certainly going to keep it honest. I'm not
saying like cheat or treat people like shit like I'm
not saying that, but like, I just think, have fun.
Speaker 3 (44:54):
The silence. Oh wait, ko, what do you think? What
do you hope happens this year?
Speaker 2 (45:03):
Loadly quitching keybots, like a raise.
Speaker 5 (45:08):
For all of us.
Speaker 2 (45:10):
Maybe new since she's a k bot, since she us
A bought, Maybe some oil in her in her machine.
Speaker 4 (45:17):
Some new batteries, some new batteries, and the latest chat
GBT engine. She's I emoji she just said, big I
emojis guy.
Speaker 3 (45:33):
Yes, Yes, what do you hope happens in twenty twenty five?
Speaker 2 (45:35):
She's our AI bought completely not human by the way,
just kidding, she is she is humans. We're party see
And I think also you need to come to l A.
Speaker 3 (45:47):
Oh my god, come to LA for you? Sure to you.
Speaker 2 (45:51):
Yes, for sure, but we'll have to do two trips. Well,
maybe we'll go back with you or you come back
with us. We'll maybe do a little Disney, We'll do
a little beach, so please, and then maybe we'll do
a live episode where you're there the entire time.
Speaker 3 (46:08):
Amazing love.
Speaker 2 (46:09):
It concludes the astrology portion of the podcast to Nyeds
twenty five. Hey, I'm on your side twenty twenty five?
Speaker 5 (46:24):
Will you my twenty twenty five? Am I gonna die?
Speaker 2 (46:30):
No?
Speaker 3 (46:31):
Nope? Well, well how do you plead?
Speaker 2 (46:36):
I'm excited for this year. I have a lot of
different projects that I am really really really really really
wanting to. I've been speaking them into existence, and I
really hope that they exist this year. I hope they
get out of the hope station and go into the actual,
real life visual because I think what gets me energized
(46:59):
about this year is the fact that shit's gonna go
down this like sorry, but fuck this president, and it's
all gonna be pop star internet vibes. For me, I
feel like I'm just gonna try to a pop star Okay,
you know same.
Speaker 4 (47:16):
I think I'm gonna go with you on that one.
I love that pop star internet culture. I want the
Charlie XCX's, the Billie ii Lish.
Speaker 3 (47:24):
I want the pop star Gurlees.
Speaker 4 (47:27):
I want all the internet fund that we're gonna have,
like all the Saint hoax memes that we're gonna see.
Speaker 2 (47:33):
Okay, good, I know. And I want to reater fuck
Trump that part.
Speaker 4 (47:39):
Thank you, yeah, same plus two plus one plus one
buck Trump.
Speaker 2 (47:45):
Fuck Elon uh fuck all those bitches. Okay, thank you
so much for listening to another episode of the Super
Secret Betsy Club podcast.
Speaker 5 (47:55):
Curly, How can we find you on social media?
Speaker 4 (47:57):
You can find me on social media at the Curly
v Show, on TikTok and Instagram.
Speaker 3 (48:02):
Where can people find you?
Speaker 2 (48:03):
You can find me at Maya in the Moment, m
A y A in the Moment, anywhere where you scroll,
and on Blue Sky if you're on blue Sky, Blue.
Speaker 3 (48:11):
Sky, Blue Sky, what does she say like?
Speaker 4 (48:14):
Glynn uh and walk oh Sky.
Speaker 2 (48:19):
Yeah yeah, I forgot.
Speaker 3 (48:22):
Anyways, my bye bye.
Speaker 2 (48:26):
Make sure to hit that subscribe button to hear more
episodes every single week. The Super Secret Bestie Club podcast
is a production of Sonodo in partnership with iHeartRadio's Michael
Tha Podcast Network.
Speaker 4 (48:38):
For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
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