January 29, 2025 • 45 mins
In this episode, Maya drops a bombshell—she’s officially back in the dating pool! Excited but slightly terrified, she turns to Curly for guidance on navigating modern romance. Unfortunately for her (and fortunately for us), Curly’s advice is… well, hear it for yourself ;)
Maya Murillo and Curly Velásquez are the hosts of the Super Secret Bestie Club with production support by Karina Riveroll of Sonoro Media in partnership with iHeart Radio's My Cultura Podcast network. If you want to support the podcast, please rate and review our show!
Follow Maya Murillo on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok @mayainthemoment
Follow Curly Velásquez on Instagram and TikTok @thecurlyvshow and on Twitter @CurlyVee
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Curly, I'm back. I returned.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Weren't you living in a fallout shelter in Pasadena, California?
Just like Brendan Frasier's character and Blast from the Past.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Uh, I meant that I'm back, like I'm returning, I'm
dating again. Basically, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Do you mean leaving your apartment?
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Yes? Yeah? So why did I miss?
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Well? Oh, we have a lot to cover. Gay. My
name is Curly and I'm Maya and welcome to the
Super Secret Pasti Club podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
A super secret club where we talk about super secret things.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Yeah, like secrets that are super That's what it is.
In each episode, we'll talk about love, friendship, heartbreaks, men,
and of course our favorite secrets get in here. Well well, well, well.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Okay, so listen. I haven't been on dating apps in
about it'll be a year, and I have not dated.
I have maybe had little crushes here and there. I
have not pursued anyone. I have not wrote anyone back.
I have not looked at anyone's message. I was closed
for refurbishment, I was closed for the season, and now
(01:22):
twenty twenty five just feels like the right time to
be back. I feel like I'm always coming back.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
You know, it was so funny earlier when you were
telling me this and I was like, my, that's nothing
to be ashamed of. Your face was.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Like you're like, I'm really proud of you. Has nothing
to be ashamed of it. I wasn't will. I think
I'm always making some sort of content saying I'm ready
to date again, and then I disappear for like three
hundred years, and then I come back I'm ready to
(01:56):
date again.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
And these these people are crazy yard here.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
I was just like, had a mini argument with my
dad this morning. He was like just saying something and go,
have you dated men?
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Have you seen what.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
It's like out there? Have you dated men? It's atrocious
back there. He's like, careful on the general statements. I'm like, no, no, no,
you're right, but have you seen it out there?
Speaker 2 (02:21):
I'm so dead. I don't think you're wrong from the
truth at all. And I think that's a great question
to ask a straight sis heapman, have you dated man?
Why don't you try it?
Speaker 1 (02:31):
I'll tell you what his real response was later.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Okay, Yeah, I mean look, I think one of the
things too, that is really important that there's no right
time to date date when you want to, like, I
actually realize that for most of my life, anytime that
I got out of a serious relationship, I would resort
to dating right away because I was filling a void
right And then when I got out of a particular relationship,
(02:55):
I was like, actually I don't want to fill that void, like,
actually I'm going to work on me and like, so
I was off of it for like not a year,
but like, you know a lot of months, I would say,
I would say like six months. To be honest, I
realized that I couldn't give people what they were looking for.
I didn't have the emotional capacity to do that. I
(03:16):
also realized that I was hurting a lot of people
in my own journey of figuring out my own bullshit
that these people had nothing to do with, you know
so and saying that I also have just joined the
pool again. I'm excited about it. And I as somebody
who before this break was actually a sick every time
I'm in a relationship, I'm like very loyal and I'm
(03:37):
in my relationships. But as somebody who has been on
a lot of dates, as you remember when we worked
at BuzzFeed together, I went on a lot of dates.
So I want to hear what it's like, how what
it's been like out here. I want to hear my
tips I do.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
I also just wanted to say, I note another tab
open it. This year twenty twenty five will be nice
years since we've been friends. Oh wow, and I started
working on BuzzFeed. Wow. Look at us nine years, girl.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
I mean I told you once you are with me,
like we're worth lifers. That's it.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
So we've seen it all.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
I literally like once, I'm like, we're best friend's Like
that's it, Like we're we're best friends for life, like
that's it, you know. So yeah, I'm happy that we
I feel like us hitting our nine years is more
proof towards my point. I feel like there are some
days that you doubted it, but I'm like, I never
doubted it this way.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
You know, there's a lot of things that I doubt
in myself more so than anything.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
I do want to say too, I find it so
admirable that you took a year off of it. The
other thing about it, too, is just to give you
some more insight into what Maya deals with when she dates.
Like Maya gets creepers, Maya gets like people who become stalkers,
like it is not your experience, just you in particular.
Your experience is so unique to I'm sure a lot
(05:05):
of women, but in my circle like you, like, I
don't know anybody who's dealt with the things that you've
dealt with in terms of like men going through wild
jumping to wild hoops to find your information and it's crazy.
So if you're a man and you're listening, just know
we will kill you. We thank you, we will slice
(05:26):
you back all the way the fuck up. From what
I've heard, prison is a hot place for homosexual to
be in. So right, right, no sweat off my back,
maybe some sweat off my back.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Oh well, so what's our current status you so basically, yeah,
we said that you're coming back, right, but you've been
dating for off and on.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Here dating yeah currently, you know, I'm just I honestly,
right now, I'm dating myself. And I don't mean that
in like that's such a big thing for me. My
whole life. I've always been like career and love, career
and love, and now I'm just like, I'm just focused
on my career again. I'm not interested. I just don't care,
Like I just literally like and honestly, it's less about
being bitter. But I think one of the things we
(06:12):
talked about in previous episodes is how my therapist will
tell me that I'm a secure attachment, and I think
I'm just leaning back into my secure attachment, like the
right one will come.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Yeah, oh yeah you will. But when.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Kba Are our producer slash robot friend in this World
said but when.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
When I feel like, yeah, my whole reasoning for being
off the apps and not dating for a year has
I mean, it's not not as like admirable as I
would as I feel like you're describing. I feel like
for me, it's felt like you're isolating yourself and you're
not like getting out of your house. I was very
(07:00):
isolated in twenty twenty four. Not for nothing, of course,
Like you just feel like there comes a time where
you're like, I just feel like I need to be
by myself for a little bit and you know, like
lick my wounds and figure out like because the same
thing that I felt, as you were saying, like, I
feel like I didn't I wasn't giving people what they
(07:21):
deserved or what they wanted because I just didn't want
to and I didn't like, was I just doing it
for attention or did I really like want? Like, why
what's my want? You know? So our love wants for
twenty twenty five my love wants manifestation is like, I
really really would love to be in a fruitful, fun, passionate, happy,
(07:47):
successful relationship that ends up being a marriage. I want
a date to marry period, maybe pop out a kid,
but maybe not. You know, that's the goal.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
I as you go into your thirties, a lot of
your friends will start to get married and they'll you know,
have the big weddings at the kids. And then as
you move into your forties, my friends have said, you'll
start to see all the divorces. So one of my
friends was saying that they were telling her, like, just
wait till your forties, they'll be a lot more bachelors
(08:21):
available for you, like don't even trip like and I
feel like second wife always has it better. I mean,
they didn't make the First Wives forget that, they didn't
make the First Wives Club for nothing. So welcome back here.
You are back in the dating world. There are some
things that I just want to warn you about while
you're out here, and just tell you a little bit
(08:41):
about which I'm sure you know, but number one, beware
of love bombers, gas lighters, and narners. I feel like
years ago this wasn't something that we would think about.
We wouldn't really talk about these things. We didn't have
the language. I think that, like love bombing, it can
make you a little paranoid, but like it happened, like
you can see people just being like everything that you
(09:02):
want them to be, you know, right off the bat,
and you're like, how.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Do you know when it's genuine or not.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
I think that when you leave, you gotta like, Okay,
I'm going to give you, guys what my therapist gave me,
the gift of secure attachment. So I want you, for
a moment during this entire podcast, to recognize and to
feel that you are officially a secure attachment. You are somebody,
you love yourself. You know what you bring to the table,
you know who you are. You know you're good looking.
(09:31):
You walk out onto the street and people are like, damn,
they're sexy. And you go to work and they're like,
this person is so smart. You have good money in
the bank, you are secure. There's nobody in this world
that has anything on you. Okay. So when you meet
these people and they love bomb, you enjoy it, have fun,
you know, when they start to take it away and
you start to recognize their patterns, you need to really
(09:52):
be like that really has nothing to do with me.
That's there, Those are their patterns. You know, in a
lot of ways. There'll be times when I talk to
guys that I really enjoy and I really like and
they start delaying, they start changing the way that they're
texting me, they start changing the way that they're treating me.
That's much different than how they treated me. I'd put
in Cepio. And then I'm kind of like, I can
(10:12):
feel the anxiety bubble up, right, what did I do wrong?
What did I do? What did they see? What did
I say? What did I smell? Like? All these things
that just kind of get to me. And then I'm like,
I'm going to find that same feeling again of being
a secure attachment and I'm going to be fine. And literally,
I kid you not. They always text back, They always
(10:33):
text back, And I'm always so thankful that I wasn't
like spiraling via text, you know, like, oh my god,
Like I'm so because the other thing too, is like
when they don't hit you up or love bombers change
or gas lighters or narn ars just.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Likes are narcissists.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Oh yeah, No, nors are narcissists. That's what I call them. Narnars.
I just say, take notes. The minute there's different things.
The minute that your body starts to tell you something
gives you anxiety, ask your stuf where it's coming from. Right, true,
Because sometimes, like you know, when you haven't been in
the game for a long time, you people give you anxiety,
like you're like, oh my god, I like this guy,
(11:09):
what am I gonna do? You know?
Speaker 1 (11:10):
That's how I felt coming back when because this isn't
the first time, Like from nineteen to like twenty five,
I was like dating off and on, but twenty five
is when I got into like a relationship ish like situationship.
And that's exactly what I struggled with, was that anxiety
and I didn't know where to put it. I didn't
(11:32):
really have like a lot of therapy at the time,
and my body was reacting in such a weird way
because I knew I shouldn't have been with him. I
knew I was unhappy, but I wanted to stay because
of scarcity mindset because I had not have I've not
had this certain thing in years, So I was like, yeah,
I don't want to be alone again. So that's so yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
I mean it's hard. Like I literally was in a
relationship where my body would tell like I would just
go into high anxiety and it was just like this
is wrong, Like this is so wrong. Something's not feeling good. Like,
you know, I think, don't be paranoid about it, but
just don't take it personally. You know, like go out
there and whatever. You meet a toxic guy, you're like, whatever,
bit you're toxic, go be toxic with somebody else, you know.
(12:17):
Like you meet a guy who's like not good at communicating,
like I'm that's on you. I'm going to go be
with somebody that communicates better with.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Me, you know.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
Like I just have found more and more that I
have dated men who are just like so beautiful and
then men who are not the most quote the most beautiful.
But like if there's no chemistry, there's no chemistry, Like
there's just no and it's not personal, you know. So
it doesn't mean that you're ugly, it doesn't mean that
you're not worthy, it doesn't mean that, you you know,
(12:46):
because then you see some toad in the troll dating
down the street and you're like, how did the toad
and the troll find each other? Like what the hell?
How are they happening?
Speaker 1 (12:53):
We were walking or we were driving down the street
that one day, We're like, how did that? Why is
the how's everyone in a couple?
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Sidebar? I did hear somewhere And I could have made
this up in my head that people that are a
little lower on the beauty spectrum have an easier time
finding love. I'm just saying, Oh, if you're having trouble
finding love, you're probably beautiful, exceptionally beautiful. And if you're
(13:25):
with somebody right now and you're offended by this, just
go break up with them. What else is Oh? That
kind of goes into part two, like make sure you're
checking on yourself a lot and you're feeling because a
lot of guys are playing games out here. We live
in a world, by the way, where everybody wants especially
in la good Lord, good Lord, good God, good beyond sight.
(13:48):
You know, like, yes, good Lord. We're on the apps
and we're like, I think I could do better. I
(14:10):
think I can do a smitch better than this. You
know what it feels like. You know, when like you
go somewhere shopping and you're in the parking lot and
you see a really good parking space that's like farther
away from the entrance, and you're like, well, there's no
cars here, no one's gonna hit no one's.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
Gonna nick my car.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
Yeah, no one's gonna nick my car. It's safe here.
There's no one around me. I'm pretty good. But you're like,
I think I can find a parking space closer.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
So you go last night and we were farther away
from the.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Door, and then you just keep getting closer and closer,
and then you get to the top of the top
of you again, Yeah exactly.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
My mom's like that parking spot was fine.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
That's what I feel like people feel in terms of dating.
I feel like people are kind of like, I think
I can find a better parking spot, and then what
ends up happening is that's more. You know a lot
of times people go, oh shit, that parking spot was
actually not that bad, but you know that you're a
good ass parking spot with a lot of space, and
and well lift because no one's breaking into your car
when they're parked in your slot. So you know.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
A lot of things. I want to say that. My
mom's right here.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Well, you know, I'm like, you might spiral. It's normal
to spiral. Please know that just because you spiral sometimes
that is not an indicator of you being like somebody
who's always insecure or somebody like people spiral. It's normal,
you know what I mean, Like, I'm some of the
most secure people I know in my life spiral And
it makes me giggle because I'm like.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
And knows spiraled. When he was like you mush bounds crazy.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
Oh, I have to watch it so it sounds so good.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Crissy most bounce grazy.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
I think, just lean into it. The other thing is
welcome back to the to the sex pool girl. What yeah, I.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Mean born again?
Speaker 2 (16:08):
Get your shots, get on your medication, get all the
stuff there's like shots now, get your money after pills,
get your condoms, get your get your whatever, get back
on the pill, whatever your choice again. What does that mean?
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Born again?
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Yeah? What? Oh? I hope you put some reverb and
echo on that. Earlier when we were talking about that,
I was like, in my head when you said that,
I just think about it. As like a wound that
(16:48):
is like just closed up and healed and like yeah,
and I was like, it just scabbed over. You have
to like scratch off. That's how it in my head,
just like you know, like when you get a puncture
on like any other part of your body and all
the red blood cells collect, coagulate and create this gelatinous
(17:08):
substance across it and then it just scaves over.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
Period.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
That's what I think about when I think of most
definitely be on top of your health and stuff like
that too. I think that there are a lot of
different avenues and a lot of different resources that exist
so that you don't get any sis in your cahunhon or,
in your baboon hoon period.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
The other thing that I would say is I would
start to create what a lot of people call the council,
what a lot of people call like the friend group chat,
and you know, be comfortable with talking about what's going
on in your relationship with a group of people that
you trust. I feel like one of the things that
I learned is that you don't want too many cooks
on the table, but you want cooks, and oh what
(18:03):
you don't want too many cooks at the table.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
That's so fresh.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
In the kitchen.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
You don't want too many cooks at the table. That
makes sense too, because then they're all yeahing about what
their signature dishes, and you're like, I just want to eat.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
Oh my god, literally like that's how you know your
ass is bilingual? Like whatever. It also reminds me of
like when Lucille Ball used to make fun of Desi
Arnez and be like, what's a blah blah blah. She
would make fun of the accent that he had.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
Cooks in the kitchen.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Yeah, cooks in the kitchen, cooks on the table, tables
in the kitchen. I feel like one of the things
that I learned was that it was really beautiful to
bring different things up to the council. In my case,
different women in my life who helped me with advice,
some of them single and some of them long term relationships,
some of them in the long term relationships, and some
(19:04):
of them no longer in the long term relationship. And
having opinions of people who are both in and out
of relationships is so funny because I's on you earlier
that I was like most people in the relationships will
tell you like miha, things happen. You have to This
is love. This is what it's like, you know, like
(19:26):
and then people who are not in relationships are like, girl,
that is crazy. Do not put up with that ship?
He what he she wants?
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Yeah, we're always like break up.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
Yeah, it's fine, there's no You know, my mom, who's
been married for a while, has been like, she's always
like meho, you know, her advice is She's like meho,
why what get the gus aside? What is when it's supposable?
She's like, you put us on in Ohio's you have
your own place, you live by yourself and your dogs.
You go home as peaceful us with husbands, you got
(19:56):
to deal with their moods.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
You can see going and challenge the you know, like
other people getting married in the past, it was kind
of different than it is now where I know a
lot of people who don't get married, who are just
like lifelong partners.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Yep. Absolutely, It's just like a thing where you're like,
people don't change. People just get worse. So if you
are in a space where you're like, what do you
think about this guy? Da da da da, But also
too you got to deal with people that you trust,
because sometimes you're like, oh, I really like this guy,
and your friends will be like ill. So if you
don't have good friends and they're like ill that guy
(20:36):
Da da da da, and you leave somebody good just
because your homegirl thinks that he's dumb or he's not cute. Like,
that's also not something that you could do. Selena went
against her entire family and married that man.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Yeah, she did, you.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
Know, Selena went against her entire family. In Corpus Christy text.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
You're crazy.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
What are you?
Speaker 1 (20:56):
What were you thinking?
Speaker 2 (20:58):
What were you thinking? She didn't give a fuck Aery's energy.
But you know, because sometimes people are haters. I had
a partner who their friend told them why were they
dating me when I wasn't attractive? They said like, he's
not even cute, And I was like, uh, it's fine,
(21:22):
it could not it could It might not be true,
and if it is true, it's kind of like probably
it's fine. I just literally would this this ugly face
was laughing all the way to the bank. Babes, you
know what I mean, Like he.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Literally auditioned for in Visilie commercial.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
He was yeah, so it's fine. I was literally in
a show where I played myself.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
So it's fine, you're inspired by yourself exactly.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
But you know, those are things that you kind of
go like, it's fine, like it's but I but here's
the thing. I feel like I'm probably one of the
best boyfriends you said earlier by the way you were like,
once you get through a virgo A I love that
for saying that.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
I feel like I dated you. I'm like, I haven't
had that experience of you saying the virgos in my experience,
Oh my.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
God, I'm a brat. Wait do you know you know me?
I'm a brat? I get ready.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Well no, but it's still true. Once you date a virgo, you,
I mean, your perception and your quality of life and
love excels a little bit because you know you, you
just have this fresh perspective of like other people who
expect more.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
But you also are like, not to make this about me,
because this is about you. But what do you think
I'm like to date?
Speaker 1 (22:46):
I don't know. I know I know how you flirt,
I know how you he gets very quiet and his
eyes get very sirens and sorry and what about you
and gives like the eyes.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
You're so funny what babes?
Speaker 1 (23:10):
Oh okay, what did you want? Did you want something?
Are you good? Okay? Yeah? And I think I think
he was talking go ahead.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
Oh my god. You know. Actually it's I'm actually like
when it comes to I think certain people, I'm a
lot more like chatty, but I think for the most
part and a lot more quieter than my best friends,
know you know what I mean. Like when I'm with you,
when I'm talking to you, sometimes I forget that there's
people listening to us because me and you are like
(23:40):
but in person, I'm a little bit more. I'm so friendly,
but I'm just not like as like hello, my baby, Hello,
my honey.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
Hello. Well, neither am I. But do you know how
many events we've gone to where you totally helped me
out of that social like hermit crab bubble. You're social.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
I'm very social. I think that I just get really
know what it is in my head. I just remember
being a young kid that people didn't like talk to
a lot, and whenever somebody would come and talk to me,
I was always so thankful. And so I feel like
if I'm in a place where I can go and
talk to somebody and be like hey, you're not alone.
I will go do that. But dating me, I will say,
I am a brat, like I get I. This is
(24:19):
one of my reasons for not dating, by the way,
is because I always turn into the same person, like
I've just become like like kind of like I've become
kind of like, yeah, I see it, you know, the
little like Aristocat the Little White Cats. She's like that's me,
you know, like I see it, And you.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
Want to be maybe you want to be Princess.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
Yes, I need Disney character that like is like, what
do you mean I have to get in the mud?
That's very mean.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
You need someone who's going to be like, come on girl,
and like like my dad describes how like he got
my mom, I mean they how they got each other
is very much.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
Like you know, you know what though like but just
like the characters in the movies, by the end of it,
they do go, they do do that, and so I
always do go. I always So that's kind of like
what it's like to date me is that I'll be like,
I don't know about that, and then I'll go and
I'm like chuck you from regrets. But I will say yeah,
(25:18):
but I will say I'm I think I'm pretty fun
to date, to be honest, because I'm a mixture of
like being silly and then anyways, but the other day,
my mom was like heating up with poosa here in
our toaster oven, and she's heating it up for the kids,
my nephews. And when it comes to the net with
the kids and my family, for better for worse, everybody
comes second. If you're over the age of like eleven,
(25:39):
you're just you don't matter. So I was like, hey,
can I throw my pauw poosa? And the thing is
like this big by the way, it's large. It's large,
and she was taking up like the two back corners
of it. I said, can I throw my papoosa? They
to heat it up, and she's like no, and I
was like okay. So I just like left it on
top of the microwave, like I was just okay. And
my sister's like, why do you get mad? And I'm like,
I just it doesn't make sense to me why I
(26:01):
can't put michael poosa in the tray, like and I could.
I know that my brattiness is coming out, like why
would I throw my poop poosa on the microwave, like
you know. Anyways, I ended up putting my pelpuos in there,
so there's a happy ending to a story that makes
no sense. Okay, number five, Oh I said this already.
Don't take anything too seriously, like it's not personal, you know.
(26:24):
I feel like though the rules have changed, and gottia Ka,
you're in Mexico City, so please tell me if this
is the same out there. But I feel like nowadays,
if you aren't quote official, like we are a boyfriend
and girlfriend, if you don't have that exclusive conversation, people
(26:45):
are hoeing around like it is a thing where you're
like until I get that title, until we get that thing.
I once heard somebody say that they didn't consider themselves
official until they were married, and so they were going
to have a fair and cheat until they were married,
because it just it's not a thing until you're married.
I can't remember if it was a woman or a
(27:06):
man that said that to me, but that's the way
that they were thinking. And I was like, I think
it was a man. Kabat said, that is true. We
have that here in Mexico City, so be careful. It's
what I'm saying, like, don't take things too seriously, Like
it's really unofficial. For a lot of people, they're not
necessarily in the same emotional space that you might be
because they are getting it in.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
Yeah, I feel like I need a statement or mantra
I say to myself to keep me grounded, because I
will for sure be like, well, what are we what
are we doing? What's happening?
Speaker 2 (27:38):
What is this? But that's where you go back to
the secure part of yourself, right, Like that's what remember
and we go back to the secure part of ourself, right,
that's right, we're the secure version of us because that's
where you go back and you're like, what's that Gotto
G song where she goes Nosta Rica, She's like a
(28:02):
it's like or she's just whatever, Like it's just a
thing where you're like.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
Crazy style, I don't care.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
I's like do you.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
Yes. I feel like I need to get tested. I
need to be in that situation because you know, there's
a lot of hypotheticals, and I feel like I will
be able to because I've had a lot of therapy.
I've had a lot of like you know moments where
I've had to access that secure part of me and
work out of the insecure, even though that's just a
(28:52):
part of life. Like, I feel like I don't think
I'll ever be one hundred percent like secure diagnosed. I
think I will always fall between secure avoidance, what's the other,
what's the other one, fearful avoidance.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
There's so many new ones now, Yes, Like I.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
Feel like i'm. I feel like i'm. People make you
react differently, like like different chemicals react to each other,
and I feel like that's kind of how I am.
And I feel like I just need to work on
navigating through.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
Yeah, you know, thing is like, don't be afraid about
vocalizing your needs, right, Like I actually was kind of
loosely dating somebody and they were very open about how
when I wasn't communicating, I kind of some might say
with ghosts, I ghosted, but I didn't intentionally ghosts. I
just was like going through a lot of different things.
And he was like, I went through a lot of
(29:43):
anxiety when that happened. You know, you kind of put
me through it. Like I was feeling a lot of
the emotions. I felt like what did I do? I
was doing secure, like this is what was happening, And
he held me accountable, like he literally was like talking
to me and it's so funny because I know what
that feels like. I understand that completely. I hated it
(30:06):
and I started, this is so dumb, and this is
going to sound like I'm crazy. But it made me
cry because I was like, I hate that I did
that to you. You know when they tell you that,
when you get to the other side and you get
to heaven and you watch your life unfold before you,
they'll show you all. They'll show you like your ripple
effect and how you've affected people, and most people I
(30:27):
think believe, like I think I've been okay. I think
I'm a good human. I think I'm fine. You know,
the idea that I would give somebody anxiety in the
ways that other people have given me anxiety was just
really painful, Like, but I was really thankful for the accountability.
I was really like, oh, yeah, thank you for telling
me that, because I don't want that. I don't want
(30:48):
to do that to you, And I'll be more communicative
and I'll be more open about what my needs are,
and you need to be more open about what your
needs are. So I would say my last piece of
advice if you get back into the dating field is
that within your own secure personality, understand that your needs
are not bad things if you require when you go
(31:11):
to a plant store, not every plant is the same thing.
Some plants are like minimal light, minimal water, Throw them
in the closet, call it a day. They'll thrive right.
Other plants you're like, please put me outside. If you
don't put me in the fucking soil and under some
desert sign, I'll die. Like every plan is so different.
So for me, people are just different. And I'm like,
even like with our friendship, like you know, when when
(31:33):
we discuss our needs, we're like, oh my god, yeah,
of course, like let's, you know, figure those things out,
Like that's what you should want. I think with the
person that you're dating, I.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
Have a couple of questions.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
Yeah, let's play my questions and and and.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
Are coffee dates real dates?
Speaker 2 (31:52):
Yeah? Absolutely? What do you think sober people do? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (31:55):
I think there. Yeah, of course. There's just this dating
coach that was like a coffee date is on a date.
That's like a daytime dates are not a thing. Oh god,
I'm like I kind of like daytime dates. Nighttime dates
are so like I feel like that's for the third
or fourth date in your life.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
I feel like, get some dinner, and what happens on
the third day after dinner.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
If somebody asks me if I want my muffin buttered,
what should I say.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Before we get to your muffin buttered? I did just
want to say that that person who said that coffee
dates don't count is a little short sighted, because I
think that actually asking people to do things that you like,
you know, rock climbing, going on a hike, going to
the park, having a picnic. I think that that's a
great way to see if somebody is to your liking.
(32:45):
And coffee dad is fun. Oh you see how they
look in the daylight?
Speaker 1 (32:48):
Yeah? You see how they look in the daylight? You know,
I know, candle it everybody looks different.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
I'm trying to think if I've ever had a successful
date in the daytime.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
I have to like the museum, I went to lack
muff Yeah, I have I have, I have to. I
went to like Earth Cafe after it was a long date,
and then I went to like these gardens super cute
because then you hang out during the day and then
if you're comfortable with them enough so you guys can
go back to your place and like watch a movie
or this.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
Yeah, m hmmm, hmmm, yeah, I feel like that. That's
to me. It's like a coffee date is a great
if you're both okay with having coffee breath. Oh okay,
So back to your buttered muffin? What about your buttered muffin?
Speaker 1 (33:31):
If someone asks me if I want my muffin buttered,
what should I say?
Speaker 2 (33:34):
What does that mean?
Speaker 1 (33:36):
Should I date another virgo or finally leave them alone?
What is buttering your muffs?
Speaker 2 (33:44):
I know, but like what did they even?
Speaker 1 (33:45):
I don't know. Should I date another virgo or finally
leave them alone?
Speaker 2 (33:50):
I think you should date a individual who is open
with communication.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
And has so not a virgo. Got it? And the
speech healthy butterflies and anxiety.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
Oh, that's a hard one. I think that. I think time,
If I'm honest with you, I think time will tell like, yeah, butterflies, the.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
Difference between healthy because they say the butterflies are actually
an anxiety trauma response?
Speaker 2 (34:18):
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, and really I mean yeah, but
sometimes you know, you get butterflies for good people. And
I've had times where I just like get anxiety, Like
I think that it goes back to another episode where
we did the post eight date, like, ask yourself, how
did you feel in your body? Because sometimes I will
say this, you will get anxiety leading up to the date.
(34:41):
You might get anxiety when you go home from the date.
But the real question is how did you feel while
you were on the date.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
If I'm scared of getting hurt, how do I stop
that from holding me back?
Speaker 2 (34:52):
Oh? Man, that's a hard one. I think that take
your time. I'm all giving you like this your answers.
I would say take your time because you don't want
to get back out there if you're not ready, that's
the whole point. But I will say this though, that
after a certain amount of time, it is important to
get back out there. Like go to our other episode
about grief. You'll learn that you will always grieve something
(35:13):
that you love, and we can't. Really, the only thing
that we can do is experience things. We're not going
to die with the person that we love. We might
some people might, but like, we don't get to take
the things with us. You just take the love and
the lessons and you call it a day.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
Kabot said, I actually asked the Taro that yesterday and
got a very good answer. To say. It said make
decisions with the best outcome in mind. That's that's not
aligned with like what I was just about to say, too,
is like I've been asking the universe to surprise me
with a good time, a good experience, like fun, like
(35:51):
surprise me, best outcome, best outcome, best scenario. What's one thing,
and this is for both of us, what's one thing
you wish? So someone told you about love when you
were younger.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
On a sensor?
Speaker 1 (36:06):
Yeah, are you go first? No? Say it it ain't
Disney Kid.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
That's what I hope they would say. I hope they
would say, like love is it's kind of like what
I think about God, right, Like it's all the beautiful
things and all the ugly things all in one. And
I think that like love is, Uh, it's not perfect.
It's not like I'm going to meet my Prince Charming
(36:31):
and live happily ever after. It's dirty, and it's painful,
and it's beautiful, and sometimes it can be beautiful for
six years, six months, six weeks, and then it's not,
but it's okay, like it was beautiful while it did.
And then I think that radical love goes into like
radical acceptance and You're just kind of like I can
love you outside of the confines of which my ego
(36:52):
would wish to keep you, you know, And I can
love you from the far, just like I love a
tiger behind a double plexiglass steel plated cage, like or
in a different country, like I'm gonna just moon walk
my ass away from you. And yeah, I wish they'd
just told me, like brace yourself, right.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
I would say, like, I don't even know. I feel
like my perception of love was very much Disney esque,
for sure, they freaking asses.
Speaker 2 (37:25):
I know it was your favorite relationship.
Speaker 1 (37:28):
I was always but Daddy, I love him kind of
girl too, And I had a moment like that and
it was not good. My dad wanted him.
Speaker 2 (37:37):
I had a moment when I wanted to be Wendy
and I was in love with Peter Pan.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
I mean, kovu you know, blanking too, really get it.
I think that love is because I feel like I
was in like a situationship where I didn't know if
I loved him or not, or I didn't know that
was love, you know. And then you kind of explained
to me, like you know, you caring is love and
(38:07):
these certain things you know, so I feel like I
don't have such a hard perception of what love is
based on Disney stuff and based on you know, because
it can look different and it can feel different and
allow it to surprise you. And like I think, also
(38:31):
you can't use that outside love to fill up your cup,
like you have to fill up your love cup self
love cup first before not saying you have to hold
yourself back, but you can't expect for someone else to
make you feel one hundred percent fulfilled and you know, emotionally,
physically and emotionally like all of it, Like you have
(38:54):
to like do that for yourself sometimes.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
And like our great Latina poet got O g said,
when you're thinking about whoever else your person is with,
I butchered those lyrics, but that's how I feel. That's
(39:17):
literally how I feel. And you know what my favorite
part about being a secure attachment. By the way, and
take this for everybody who's listening, Like I know, I'm
so much fun to date, Like I know it, Like
I know that, Like you know, I'm silly. I can
be very serious, you know, can hold space. I can
(39:39):
I can.
Speaker 1 (39:43):
Of the podcast, Oh my god, you can bound.
Speaker 2 (39:48):
I was gonna think about a way to describe this
technique that I do.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
But so let's talk about when. If you have been
wanting to get back into the dating scene, and maybe
you use astrology as a tool, when is like the
optimal time for you to get back into the dating
scene according to astrology, So when Venus is in your
(40:13):
sun moon or rising sign, this is one of the
most favorable times to put yourself out there. You'll naturally
exude charm, making you more attractive to potential partners. And
when Venus moves into Libra, Taurus or Pisces signs that
Venus loves which is Libra, Taurus and Pisces because they're
all like. Taurus is very like all of these signs
(40:36):
are very gaudy where they like a lot of material things,
beauty Libra's beauty, Pisces is love and spirituality. These are
romantic times in general for everyone as Venus rules Libra
and Taurus and is exalted in Pisces, increasing harmony and
connection and loving vibes. So to find your Venus where
(41:00):
Venus is in, go to Cafe Astrology or astro dot com.
Input your birth time down to the minute, and you're
the city you were born in and it'll show you
where your venus is in. So my venus is in
Aries curly, yours is in Virgo Virgo. So so I
(41:22):
think Venus moves into Pisces in February soon. If it's
not there already, well, I think it's actually so it
is Venus retrograde, which happens every eighteen months for about
six weeks. I think it's currently in retrograde right now,
so it's not the best time to start a new relationship.
So I would say in February to March that would
(41:45):
be a great time to start dating again.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
Yeah, whatever, dating again or whatever. Yeah, I like that.
I think that also just like gets started, get started, kid,
get out there, like maybe just don't sign a contract
until the retrograde is.
Speaker 1 (42:01):
Over exactly, you know.
Speaker 2 (42:03):
I feel like this is the year where everyone is
going to find everyone is going to like finally settle in.
They're going to get into something really nice and warm
and closing. It's going to be so nice, it's going
to be so good. I can't tell you what happened
the following year, but I think for this year, and
if you're gay, I can't. I can't tell you what's
(42:23):
going to happen after the nineteenth, but you know.
Speaker 1 (42:26):
And also if you want more information on like when
to find the optimal time, there's Melissa's Stars Astrology on Instagram.
You can book a reading with her. She's really really
good if you just need like, And there's a bunch
of different resources on TikTok if it's still around, and
on the internet where you can look up your chart
(42:48):
and see how best to use it and to when
to date. So I've crunched all my numbers and for
me it's February. It's after February twenty third or like.
So also just do whatever and that concludes the zodiac section.
Speaker 2 (43:08):
Maya, how do you plead?
Speaker 1 (43:10):
My stomach is a rumbling and uh, I think that
means that I'm ready to release emotionally into the unknown,
into the unknown.
Speaker 2 (43:23):
Does your summach grumble when you're hungry or when you
have to.
Speaker 1 (43:25):
Know, I have to go to the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (43:26):
But okay, super fast, Also quick quick ones while you go,
work on your smell, have a good smell. Put stuff
in your hair, stuff in different parts.
Speaker 1 (43:36):
No, it's a trend on TikTok oh.
Speaker 2 (43:40):
Lean into your don't forget that you are a secure, baby, God,
you are secure. You got this. Anytime anybody ever called
you an anxious or whatever.
Speaker 1 (43:48):
Anxious lie And in the words of my nephew who
just does not make sense at all, abitza.
Speaker 2 (44:00):
Well, guys, thank you so much for listening. Where can
people find you?
Speaker 1 (44:04):
You can find me at my end the moment, m
a ya, in the moment, anywhere you scroll what about you?
Speaker 2 (44:09):
You can find me at the Curly v Show on
Instagram and TikTok.
Speaker 1 (44:13):
Thank you so much for listening to another episode of
The Super Secret Bestie Club Podcast. Make sure to hit
us up on our social media to let us know
you want to listen to on the next episode, we
love you so much and sending you love listen. We're
all gonna get the love this year. Will I feel it?
Speaker 2 (44:31):
I feel it too? Bye, get away from me. Oh.
Speaker 1 (44:36):
Make sure to hit that subscribe button to hear more
episodes every single week. The Super Secret Bestie Club Podcast
is a production of Sonodo in partnership with iHeartRadio's Michael
Tha podcast Network.
Speaker 2 (44:48):
For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Curly, I'm back. I returned.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
Weren't you living in a fallout shelter in Pasadena, California?
Just like Brendan Frasier's character and Blast from the Past.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Uh, I meant that I'm back, like I'm returning, I'm
dating again. Basically, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Do you mean leaving your apartment?
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Yes? Yeah? So why did I miss?
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Well? Oh, we have a lot to cover. Gay. My
name is Curly and I'm Maya and welcome to the
Super Secret Pasti Club podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
A super secret club where we talk about super secret things.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
Yeah, like secrets that are super That's what it is.
In each episode, we'll talk about love, friendship, heartbreaks, men,
and of course our favorite secrets get in here. Well well, well, well.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Okay, so listen. I haven't been on dating apps in
about it'll be a year, and I have not dated.
I have maybe had little crushes here and there. I
have not pursued anyone. I have not wrote anyone back.
I have not looked at anyone's message. I was closed
for refurbishment, I was closed for the season, and now
(01:22):
twenty twenty five just feels like the right time to
be back. I feel like I'm always coming back.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
You know, it was so funny earlier when you were
telling me this and I was like, my, that's nothing
to be ashamed of. Your face was.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Like you're like, I'm really proud of you. Has nothing
to be ashamed of it. I wasn't will. I think
I'm always making some sort of content saying I'm ready
to date again, and then I disappear for like three
hundred years, and then I come back I'm ready to
(01:56):
date again.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
And these these people are crazy yard here.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
I was just like, had a mini argument with my
dad this morning. He was like just saying something and go,
have you dated men?
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Have you seen what.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
It's like out there? Have you dated men? It's atrocious
back there. He's like, careful on the general statements. I'm like, no, no, no,
you're right, but have you seen it out there?
Speaker 2 (02:21):
I'm so dead. I don't think you're wrong from the
truth at all. And I think that's a great question
to ask a straight sis heapman, have you dated man?
Why don't you try it?
Speaker 1 (02:31):
I'll tell you what his real response was later.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Okay, Yeah, I mean look, I think one of the
things too, that is really important that there's no right
time to date date when you want to, like, I
actually realize that for most of my life, anytime that
I got out of a serious relationship, I would resort
to dating right away because I was filling a void
right And then when I got out of a particular relationship,
(02:55):
I was like, actually I don't want to fill that void, like,
actually I'm going to work on me and like, so
I was off of it for like not a year,
but like, you know a lot of months, I would say,
I would say like six months. To be honest, I
realized that I couldn't give people what they were looking for.
I didn't have the emotional capacity to do that. I
(03:16):
also realized that I was hurting a lot of people
in my own journey of figuring out my own bullshit
that these people had nothing to do with, you know
so and saying that I also have just joined the
pool again. I'm excited about it. And I as somebody
who before this break was actually a sick every time
I'm in a relationship, I'm like very loyal and I'm
(03:37):
in my relationships. But as somebody who has been on
a lot of dates, as you remember when we worked
at BuzzFeed together, I went on a lot of dates.
So I want to hear what it's like, how what
it's been like out here. I want to hear my
tips I do.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
I also just wanted to say, I note another tab
open it. This year twenty twenty five will be nice
years since we've been friends. Oh wow, and I started
working on BuzzFeed. Wow. Look at us nine years, girl.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
I mean I told you once you are with me,
like we're worth lifers. That's it.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
So we've seen it all.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
I literally like once, I'm like, we're best friend's Like
that's it, Like we're we're best friends for life, like
that's it, you know. So yeah, I'm happy that we
I feel like us hitting our nine years is more
proof towards my point. I feel like there are some
days that you doubted it, but I'm like, I never
doubted it this way.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
You know, there's a lot of things that I doubt
in myself more so than anything.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
I do want to say too, I find it so
admirable that you took a year off of it. The
other thing about it, too, is just to give you
some more insight into what Maya deals with when she dates.
Like Maya gets creepers, Maya gets like people who become stalkers,
like it is not your experience, just you in particular.
Your experience is so unique to I'm sure a lot
(05:05):
of women, but in my circle like you, like, I
don't know anybody who's dealt with the things that you've
dealt with in terms of like men going through wild
jumping to wild hoops to find your information and it's crazy.
So if you're a man and you're listening, just know
we will kill you. We thank you, we will slice
(05:26):
you back all the way the fuck up. From what
I've heard, prison is a hot place for homosexual to
be in. So right, right, no sweat off my back,
maybe some sweat off my back.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Oh well, so what's our current status you so basically, yeah,
we said that you're coming back, right, but you've been
dating for off and on.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Here dating yeah currently, you know, I'm just I honestly,
right now, I'm dating myself. And I don't mean that
in like that's such a big thing for me. My
whole life. I've always been like career and love, career
and love, and now I'm just like, I'm just focused
on my career again. I'm not interested. I just don't care,
Like I just literally like and honestly, it's less about
being bitter. But I think one of the things we
(06:12):
talked about in previous episodes is how my therapist will
tell me that I'm a secure attachment, and I think
I'm just leaning back into my secure attachment, like the
right one will come.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Yeah, oh yeah you will. But when.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Kba Are our producer slash robot friend in this World
said but when.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
When I feel like, yeah, my whole reasoning for being
off the apps and not dating for a year has
I mean, it's not not as like admirable as I
would as I feel like you're describing. I feel like
for me, it's felt like you're isolating yourself and you're
not like getting out of your house. I was very
(07:00):
isolated in twenty twenty four. Not for nothing, of course,
Like you just feel like there comes a time where
you're like, I just feel like I need to be
by myself for a little bit and you know, like
lick my wounds and figure out like because the same
thing that I felt, as you were saying, like, I
feel like I didn't I wasn't giving people what they
(07:21):
deserved or what they wanted because I just didn't want
to and I didn't like, was I just doing it
for attention or did I really like want? Like, why
what's my want? You know? So our love wants for
twenty twenty five my love wants manifestation is like, I
really really would love to be in a fruitful, fun, passionate, happy,
(07:47):
successful relationship that ends up being a marriage. I want
a date to marry period, maybe pop out a kid,
but maybe not. You know, that's the goal.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
I as you go into your thirties, a lot of
your friends will start to get married and they'll you know,
have the big weddings at the kids. And then as
you move into your forties, my friends have said, you'll
start to see all the divorces. So one of my
friends was saying that they were telling her, like, just
wait till your forties, they'll be a lot more bachelors
(08:21):
available for you, like don't even trip like and I
feel like second wife always has it better. I mean,
they didn't make the First Wives forget that, they didn't
make the First Wives Club for nothing. So welcome back here.
You are back in the dating world. There are some
things that I just want to warn you about while
you're out here, and just tell you a little bit
(08:41):
about which I'm sure you know, but number one, beware
of love bombers, gas lighters, and narners. I feel like
years ago this wasn't something that we would think about.
We wouldn't really talk about these things. We didn't have
the language. I think that, like love bombing, it can
make you a little paranoid, but like it happened, like
you can see people just being like everything that you
(09:02):
want them to be, you know, right off the bat,
and you're like, how.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Do you know when it's genuine or not.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
I think that when you leave, you gotta like, Okay,
I'm going to give you, guys what my therapist gave me,
the gift of secure attachment. So I want you, for
a moment during this entire podcast, to recognize and to
feel that you are officially a secure attachment. You are somebody,
you love yourself. You know what you bring to the table,
you know who you are. You know you're good looking.
(09:31):
You walk out onto the street and people are like, damn,
they're sexy. And you go to work and they're like,
this person is so smart. You have good money in
the bank, you are secure. There's nobody in this world
that has anything on you. Okay. So when you meet
these people and they love bomb, you enjoy it, have fun,
you know, when they start to take it away and
you start to recognize their patterns, you need to really
(09:52):
be like that really has nothing to do with me.
That's there, Those are their patterns. You know, in a
lot of ways. There'll be times when I talk to
guys that I really enjoy and I really like and
they start delaying, they start changing the way that they're
texting me, they start changing the way that they're treating me.
That's much different than how they treated me. I'd put
in Cepio. And then I'm kind of like, I can
(10:12):
feel the anxiety bubble up, right, what did I do wrong?
What did I do? What did they see? What did
I say? What did I smell? Like? All these things
that just kind of get to me. And then I'm like,
I'm going to find that same feeling again of being
a secure attachment and I'm going to be fine. And literally,
I kid you not. They always text back, They always
(10:33):
text back, And I'm always so thankful that I wasn't
like spiraling via text, you know, like, oh my god,
Like I'm so because the other thing too, is like
when they don't hit you up or love bombers change
or gas lighters or narn ars just.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Likes are narcissists.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Oh yeah, No, nors are narcissists. That's what I call them. Narnars.
I just say, take notes. The minute there's different things.
The minute that your body starts to tell you something
gives you anxiety, ask your stuf where it's coming from. Right, true,
Because sometimes, like you know, when you haven't been in
the game for a long time, you people give you anxiety,
like you're like, oh my god, I like this guy,
(11:09):
what am I gonna do? You know?
Speaker 1 (11:10):
That's how I felt coming back when because this isn't
the first time, Like from nineteen to like twenty five,
I was like dating off and on, but twenty five
is when I got into like a relationship ish like situationship.
And that's exactly what I struggled with, was that anxiety
and I didn't know where to put it. I didn't
(11:32):
really have like a lot of therapy at the time,
and my body was reacting in such a weird way
because I knew I shouldn't have been with him. I
knew I was unhappy, but I wanted to stay because
of scarcity mindset because I had not have I've not
had this certain thing in years, So I was like, yeah,
I don't want to be alone again. So that's so yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
I mean it's hard. Like I literally was in a
relationship where my body would tell like I would just
go into high anxiety and it was just like this
is wrong, Like this is so wrong. Something's not feeling good. Like,
you know, I think, don't be paranoid about it, but
just don't take it personally. You know, like go out
there and whatever. You meet a toxic guy, you're like, whatever,
bit you're toxic, go be toxic with somebody else, you know.
(12:17):
Like you meet a guy who's like not good at communicating,
like I'm that's on you. I'm going to go be
with somebody that communicates better with.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Me, you know.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
Like I just have found more and more that I
have dated men who are just like so beautiful and
then men who are not the most quote the most beautiful.
But like if there's no chemistry, there's no chemistry, Like
there's just no and it's not personal, you know. So
it doesn't mean that you're ugly, it doesn't mean that
you're not worthy, it doesn't mean that, you you know,
(12:46):
because then you see some toad in the troll dating
down the street and you're like, how did the toad
and the troll find each other? Like what the hell?
How are they happening?
Speaker 1 (12:53):
We were walking or we were driving down the street
that one day, We're like, how did that? Why is
the how's everyone in a couple?
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Sidebar? I did hear somewhere And I could have made
this up in my head that people that are a
little lower on the beauty spectrum have an easier time
finding love. I'm just saying, Oh, if you're having trouble
finding love, you're probably beautiful, exceptionally beautiful. And if you're
(13:25):
with somebody right now and you're offended by this, just
go break up with them. What else is Oh? That
kind of goes into part two, like make sure you're
checking on yourself a lot and you're feeling because a
lot of guys are playing games out here. We live
in a world, by the way, where everybody wants especially
in la good Lord, good Lord, good God, good beyond sight.
(13:48):
You know, like, yes, good Lord. We're on the apps
and we're like, I think I could do better. I
(14:10):
think I can do a smitch better than this. You
know what it feels like. You know, when like you
go somewhere shopping and you're in the parking lot and
you see a really good parking space that's like farther
away from the entrance, and you're like, well, there's no
cars here, no one's gonna hit no one's.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
Gonna nick my car.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
Yeah, no one's gonna nick my car. It's safe here.
There's no one around me. I'm pretty good. But you're like,
I think I can find a parking space closer.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
So you go last night and we were farther away
from the.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
Door, and then you just keep getting closer and closer,
and then you get to the top of the top
of you again, Yeah exactly.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
My mom's like that parking spot was fine.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
That's what I feel like people feel in terms of dating.
I feel like people are kind of like, I think
I can find a better parking spot, and then what
ends up happening is that's more. You know a lot
of times people go, oh shit, that parking spot was
actually not that bad, but you know that you're a
good ass parking spot with a lot of space, and
and well lift because no one's breaking into your car
when they're parked in your slot. So you know.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
A lot of things. I want to say that. My
mom's right here.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Well, you know, I'm like, you might spiral. It's normal
to spiral. Please know that just because you spiral sometimes
that is not an indicator of you being like somebody
who's always insecure or somebody like people spiral. It's normal,
you know what I mean, Like, I'm some of the
most secure people I know in my life spiral And
it makes me giggle because I'm like.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
And knows spiraled. When he was like you mush bounds crazy.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
Oh, I have to watch it so it sounds so good.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Crissy most bounce grazy.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
I think, just lean into it. The other thing is
welcome back to the to the sex pool girl. What yeah, I.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
Mean born again?
Speaker 2 (16:08):
Get your shots, get on your medication, get all the
stuff there's like shots now, get your money after pills,
get your condoms, get your get your whatever, get back
on the pill, whatever your choice again. What does that mean?
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Born again?
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Yeah? What? Oh? I hope you put some reverb and
echo on that. Earlier when we were talking about that,
I was like, in my head when you said that,
I just think about it. As like a wound that
(16:48):
is like just closed up and healed and like yeah,
and I was like, it just scabbed over. You have
to like scratch off. That's how it in my head,
just like you know, like when you get a puncture
on like any other part of your body and all
the red blood cells collect, coagulate and create this gelatinous
(17:08):
substance across it and then it just scaves over.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
Period.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
That's what I think about when I think of most
definitely be on top of your health and stuff like
that too. I think that there are a lot of
different avenues and a lot of different resources that exist
so that you don't get any sis in your cahunhon or,
in your baboon hoon period.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
The other thing that I would say is I would
start to create what a lot of people call the council,
what a lot of people call like the friend group chat,
and you know, be comfortable with talking about what's going
on in your relationship with a group of people that
you trust. I feel like one of the things that
I learned is that you don't want too many cooks
on the table, but you want cooks, and oh what
(18:03):
you don't want too many cooks at the table.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
That's so fresh.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
In the kitchen.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
You don't want too many cooks at the table. That
makes sense too, because then they're all yeahing about what
their signature dishes, and you're like, I just want to eat.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
Oh my god, literally like that's how you know your
ass is bilingual? Like whatever. It also reminds me of
like when Lucille Ball used to make fun of Desi
Arnez and be like, what's a blah blah blah. She
would make fun of the accent that he had.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
Cooks in the kitchen.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Yeah, cooks in the kitchen, cooks on the table, tables
in the kitchen. I feel like one of the things
that I learned was that it was really beautiful to
bring different things up to the council. In my case,
different women in my life who helped me with advice,
some of them single and some of them long term relationships,
some of them in the long term relationships, and some
(19:04):
of them no longer in the long term relationship. And
having opinions of people who are both in and out
of relationships is so funny because I's on you earlier
that I was like most people in the relationships will
tell you like miha, things happen. You have to This
is love. This is what it's like, you know, like
(19:26):
and then people who are not in relationships are like, girl,
that is crazy. Do not put up with that ship?
He what he she wants?
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Yeah, we're always like break up.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
Yeah, it's fine, there's no You know, my mom, who's
been married for a while, has been like, she's always
like meho, you know, her advice is She's like meho,
why what get the gus aside? What is when it's supposable?
She's like, you put us on in Ohio's you have
your own place, you live by yourself and your dogs.
You go home as peaceful us with husbands, you got
(19:56):
to deal with their moods.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
You can see going and challenge the you know, like
other people getting married in the past, it was kind
of different than it is now where I know a
lot of people who don't get married, who are just
like lifelong partners.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Yep. Absolutely, It's just like a thing where you're like,
people don't change. People just get worse. So if you
are in a space where you're like, what do you
think about this guy? Da da da da, But also
too you got to deal with people that you trust,
because sometimes you're like, oh, I really like this guy,
and your friends will be like ill. So if you
don't have good friends and they're like ill that guy
(20:36):
Da da da da, and you leave somebody good just
because your homegirl thinks that he's dumb or he's not cute. Like,
that's also not something that you could do. Selena went
against her entire family and married that man.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Yeah, she did, you.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
Know, Selena went against her entire family. In Corpus Christy text.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
You're crazy.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
What are you?
Speaker 1 (20:56):
What were you thinking?
Speaker 2 (20:58):
What were you thinking? She didn't give a fuck Aery's energy.
But you know, because sometimes people are haters. I had
a partner who their friend told them why were they
dating me when I wasn't attractive? They said like, he's
not even cute, And I was like, uh, it's fine,
(21:22):
it could not it could It might not be true,
and if it is true, it's kind of like probably
it's fine. I just literally would this this ugly face
was laughing all the way to the bank. Babes, you
know what I mean, Like he.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Literally auditioned for in Visilie commercial.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
He was yeah, so it's fine. I was literally in
a show where I played myself.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
So it's fine, you're inspired by yourself exactly.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
But you know, those are things that you kind of
go like, it's fine, like it's but I but here's
the thing. I feel like I'm probably one of the
best boyfriends you said earlier by the way you were like,
once you get through a virgo A I love that
for saying that.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
I feel like I dated you. I'm like, I haven't
had that experience of you saying the virgos in my experience,
Oh my.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
God, I'm a brat. Wait do you know you know me?
I'm a brat? I get ready.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Well no, but it's still true. Once you date a virgo, you,
I mean, your perception and your quality of life and
love excels a little bit because you know you, you
just have this fresh perspective of like other people who
expect more.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
But you also are like, not to make this about me,
because this is about you. But what do you think
I'm like to date?
Speaker 1 (22:46):
I don't know. I know I know how you flirt,
I know how you he gets very quiet and his
eyes get very sirens and sorry and what about you
and gives like the eyes.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
You're so funny what babes?
Speaker 1 (23:10):
Oh okay, what did you want? Did you want something?
Are you good? Okay? Yeah? And I think I think
he was talking go ahead.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
Oh my god. You know. Actually it's I'm actually like
when it comes to I think certain people, I'm a
lot more like chatty, but I think for the most
part and a lot more quieter than my best friends,
know you know what I mean. Like when I'm with you,
when I'm talking to you, sometimes I forget that there's
people listening to us because me and you are like
(23:40):
but in person, I'm a little bit more. I'm so friendly,
but I'm just not like as like hello, my baby, Hello,
my honey.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
Hello. Well, neither am I. But do you know how
many events we've gone to where you totally helped me
out of that social like hermit crab bubble. You're social.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
I'm very social. I think that I just get really
know what it is in my head. I just remember
being a young kid that people didn't like talk to
a lot, and whenever somebody would come and talk to me,
I was always so thankful. And so I feel like
if I'm in a place where I can go and
talk to somebody and be like hey, you're not alone.
I will go do that. But dating me, I will say,
I am a brat, like I get I. This is
(24:19):
one of my reasons for not dating, by the way,
is because I always turn into the same person, like
I've just become like like kind of like I've become
kind of like, yeah, I see it, you know, the
little like Aristocat the Little White Cats. She's like that's me,
you know, like I see it, And you.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
Want to be maybe you want to be Princess.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
Yes, I need Disney character that like is like, what
do you mean I have to get in the mud?
That's very mean.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
You need someone who's going to be like, come on girl,
and like like my dad describes how like he got
my mom, I mean they how they got each other
is very much.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
Like you know, you know what though like but just
like the characters in the movies, by the end of it,
they do go, they do do that, and so I
always do go. I always So that's kind of like
what it's like to date me is that I'll be like,
I don't know about that, and then I'll go and
I'm like chuck you from regrets. But I will say yeah,
(25:18):
but I will say I'm I think I'm pretty fun
to date, to be honest, because I'm a mixture of
like being silly and then anyways, but the other day,
my mom was like heating up with poosa here in
our toaster oven, and she's heating it up for the kids,
my nephews. And when it comes to the net with
the kids and my family, for better for worse, everybody
comes second. If you're over the age of like eleven,
(25:39):
you're just you don't matter. So I was like, hey,
can I throw my pauw poosa? And the thing is
like this big by the way, it's large. It's large,
and she was taking up like the two back corners
of it. I said, can I throw my papoosa? They
to heat it up, and she's like no, and I
was like okay. So I just like left it on
top of the microwave, like I was just okay. And
my sister's like, why do you get mad? And I'm like,
I just it doesn't make sense to me why I
(26:01):
can't put michael poosa in the tray, like and I could.
I know that my brattiness is coming out, like why
would I throw my poop poosa on the microwave, like
you know. Anyways, I ended up putting my pelpuos in there,
so there's a happy ending to a story that makes
no sense. Okay, number five, Oh I said this already.
Don't take anything too seriously, like it's not personal, you know.
(26:24):
I feel like though the rules have changed, and gottia Ka,
you're in Mexico City, so please tell me if this
is the same out there. But I feel like nowadays,
if you aren't quote official, like we are a boyfriend
and girlfriend, if you don't have that exclusive conversation, people
(26:45):
are hoeing around like it is a thing where you're
like until I get that title, until we get that thing.
I once heard somebody say that they didn't consider themselves
official until they were married, and so they were going
to have a fair and cheat until they were married,
because it just it's not a thing until you're married.
I can't remember if it was a woman or a
(27:06):
man that said that to me, but that's the way
that they were thinking. And I was like, I think
it was a man. Kabat said, that is true. We
have that here in Mexico City, so be careful. It's
what I'm saying, like, don't take things too seriously, Like
it's really unofficial. For a lot of people, they're not
necessarily in the same emotional space that you might be
because they are getting it in.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
Yeah, I feel like I need a statement or mantra
I say to myself to keep me grounded, because I
will for sure be like, well, what are we what
are we doing? What's happening?
Speaker 2 (27:38):
What is this? But that's where you go back to
the secure part of yourself, right, Like that's what remember
and we go back to the secure part of ourself, right,
that's right, we're the secure version of us because that's
where you go back and you're like, what's that Gotto
G song where she goes Nosta Rica, She's like a
(28:02):
it's like or she's just whatever, Like it's just a
thing where you're like.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
Crazy style, I don't care.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
I's like do you.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
Yes. I feel like I need to get tested. I
need to be in that situation because you know, there's
a lot of hypotheticals, and I feel like I will
be able to because I've had a lot of therapy.
I've had a lot of like you know moments where
I've had to access that secure part of me and
work out of the insecure, even though that's just a
(28:52):
part of life. Like, I feel like I don't think
I'll ever be one hundred percent like secure diagnosed. I
think I will always fall between secure avoidance, what's the other,
what's the other one, fearful avoidance.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
There's so many new ones now, Yes, Like I.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
Feel like i'm. I feel like i'm. People make you
react differently, like like different chemicals react to each other,
and I feel like that's kind of how I am.
And I feel like I just need to work on
navigating through.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
Yeah, you know, thing is like, don't be afraid about
vocalizing your needs, right, Like I actually was kind of
loosely dating somebody and they were very open about how
when I wasn't communicating, I kind of some might say
with ghosts, I ghosted, but I didn't intentionally ghosts. I
just was like going through a lot of different things.
And he was like, I went through a lot of
(29:43):
anxiety when that happened. You know, you kind of put
me through it. Like I was feeling a lot of
the emotions. I felt like what did I do? I
was doing secure, like this is what was happening, And
he held me accountable, like he literally was like talking
to me and it's so funny because I know what
that feels like. I understand that completely. I hated it
(30:06):
and I started, this is so dumb, and this is
going to sound like I'm crazy. But it made me
cry because I was like, I hate that I did
that to you. You know when they tell you that,
when you get to the other side and you get
to heaven and you watch your life unfold before you,
they'll show you all. They'll show you like your ripple
effect and how you've affected people, and most people I
(30:27):
think believe, like I think I've been okay. I think
I'm a good human. I think I'm fine. You know,
the idea that I would give somebody anxiety in the
ways that other people have given me anxiety was just
really painful, Like, but I was really thankful for the accountability.
I was really like, oh, yeah, thank you for telling
me that, because I don't want that. I don't want
(30:48):
to do that to you, And I'll be more communicative
and I'll be more open about what my needs are,
and you need to be more open about what your
needs are. So I would say my last piece of
advice if you get back into the dating field is
that within your own secure personality, understand that your needs
are not bad things if you require when you go
(31:11):
to a plant store, not every plant is the same thing.
Some plants are like minimal light, minimal water, Throw them
in the closet, call it a day. They'll thrive right.
Other plants you're like, please put me outside. If you
don't put me in the fucking soil and under some
desert sign, I'll die. Like every plan is so different.
So for me, people are just different. And I'm like,
even like with our friendship, like you know, when when
(31:33):
we discuss our needs, we're like, oh my god, yeah,
of course, like let's, you know, figure those things out,
Like that's what you should want. I think with the
person that you're dating, I.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
Have a couple of questions.
Speaker 2 (31:44):
Yeah, let's play my questions and and and.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
Are coffee dates real dates?
Speaker 2 (31:52):
Yeah? Absolutely? What do you think sober people do? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (31:55):
I think there. Yeah, of course. There's just this dating
coach that was like a coffee date is on a date.
That's like a daytime dates are not a thing. Oh god,
I'm like I kind of like daytime dates. Nighttime dates
are so like I feel like that's for the third
or fourth date in your life.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
I feel like, get some dinner, and what happens on
the third day after dinner.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
If somebody asks me if I want my muffin buttered,
what should I say.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Before we get to your muffin buttered? I did just
want to say that that person who said that coffee
dates don't count is a little short sighted, because I
think that actually asking people to do things that you like,
you know, rock climbing, going on a hike, going to
the park, having a picnic. I think that that's a
great way to see if somebody is to your liking.
(32:45):
And coffee dad is fun. Oh you see how they
look in the daylight?
Speaker 1 (32:48):
Yeah? You see how they look in the daylight? You know,
I know, candle it everybody looks different.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
I'm trying to think if I've ever had a successful
date in the daytime.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
I have to like the museum, I went to lack
muff Yeah, I have I have, I have to. I
went to like Earth Cafe after it was a long date,
and then I went to like these gardens super cute
because then you hang out during the day and then
if you're comfortable with them enough so you guys can
go back to your place and like watch a movie
or this.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
Yeah, m hmmm, hmmm, yeah, I feel like that. That's
to me. It's like a coffee date is a great
if you're both okay with having coffee breath. Oh okay,
So back to your buttered muffin? What about your buttered muffin?
Speaker 1 (33:31):
If someone asks me if I want my muffin buttered,
what should I say?
Speaker 2 (33:34):
What does that mean?
Speaker 1 (33:36):
Should I date another virgo or finally leave them alone?
What is buttering your muffs?
Speaker 2 (33:44):
I know, but like what did they even?
Speaker 1 (33:45):
I don't know. Should I date another virgo or finally
leave them alone?
Speaker 2 (33:50):
I think you should date a individual who is open
with communication.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
And has so not a virgo. Got it? And the
speech healthy butterflies and anxiety.
Speaker 2 (34:03):
Oh, that's a hard one. I think that. I think time,
If I'm honest with you, I think time will tell like, yeah, butterflies, the.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
Difference between healthy because they say the butterflies are actually
an anxiety trauma response?
Speaker 2 (34:18):
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, and really I mean yeah, but
sometimes you know, you get butterflies for good people. And
I've had times where I just like get anxiety, Like
I think that it goes back to another episode where
we did the post eight date, like, ask yourself, how
did you feel in your body? Because sometimes I will
say this, you will get anxiety leading up to the date.
(34:41):
You might get anxiety when you go home from the date.
But the real question is how did you feel while
you were on the date.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
If I'm scared of getting hurt, how do I stop
that from holding me back?
Speaker 2 (34:52):
Oh? Man, that's a hard one. I think that take
your time. I'm all giving you like this your answers.
I would say take your time because you don't want
to get back out there if you're not ready, that's
the whole point. But I will say this though, that
after a certain amount of time, it is important to
get back out there. Like go to our other episode
about grief. You'll learn that you will always grieve something
(35:13):
that you love, and we can't. Really, the only thing
that we can do is experience things. We're not going
to die with the person that we love. We might
some people might, but like, we don't get to take
the things with us. You just take the love and
the lessons and you call it a day.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
Kabot said, I actually asked the Taro that yesterday and
got a very good answer. To say. It said make
decisions with the best outcome in mind. That's that's not
aligned with like what I was just about to say, too,
is like I've been asking the universe to surprise me
with a good time, a good experience, like fun, like
(35:51):
surprise me, best outcome, best outcome, best scenario. What's one thing,
and this is for both of us, what's one thing
you wish? So someone told you about love when you
were younger.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
On a sensor?
Speaker 1 (36:06):
Yeah, are you go first? No? Say it it ain't
Disney Kid.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
That's what I hope they would say. I hope they
would say, like love is it's kind of like what
I think about God, right, Like it's all the beautiful
things and all the ugly things all in one. And
I think that like love is, Uh, it's not perfect.
It's not like I'm going to meet my Prince Charming
(36:31):
and live happily ever after. It's dirty, and it's painful,
and it's beautiful, and sometimes it can be beautiful for
six years, six months, six weeks, and then it's not,
but it's okay, like it was beautiful while it did.
And then I think that radical love goes into like
radical acceptance and You're just kind of like I can
love you outside of the confines of which my ego
(36:52):
would wish to keep you, you know, And I can
love you from the far, just like I love a
tiger behind a double plexiglass steel plated cage, like or
in a different country, like I'm gonna just moon walk
my ass away from you. And yeah, I wish they'd
just told me, like brace yourself, right.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
I would say, like, I don't even know. I feel
like my perception of love was very much Disney esque,
for sure, they freaking asses.
Speaker 2 (37:25):
I know it was your favorite relationship.
Speaker 1 (37:28):
I was always but Daddy, I love him kind of
girl too, And I had a moment like that and
it was not good. My dad wanted him.
Speaker 2 (37:37):
I had a moment when I wanted to be Wendy
and I was in love with Peter Pan.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
I mean, kovu you know, blanking too, really get it.
I think that love is because I feel like I
was in like a situationship where I didn't know if
I loved him or not, or I didn't know that
was love, you know. And then you kind of explained
to me, like you know, you caring is love and
(38:07):
these certain things you know, so I feel like I
don't have such a hard perception of what love is
based on Disney stuff and based on you know, because
it can look different and it can feel different and
allow it to surprise you. And like I think, also
(38:31):
you can't use that outside love to fill up your cup,
like you have to fill up your love cup self
love cup first before not saying you have to hold
yourself back, but you can't expect for someone else to
make you feel one hundred percent fulfilled and you know, emotionally,
physically and emotionally like all of it, Like you have
(38:54):
to like do that for yourself sometimes.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
And like our great Latina poet got O g said,
when you're thinking about whoever else your person is with,
I butchered those lyrics, but that's how I feel. That's
(39:17):
literally how I feel. And you know what my favorite
part about being a secure attachment. By the way, and
take this for everybody who's listening, Like I know, I'm
so much fun to date, Like I know it, Like
I know that, Like you know, I'm silly. I can
be very serious, you know, can hold space. I can
(39:39):
I can.
Speaker 1 (39:43):
Of the podcast, Oh my god, you can bound.
Speaker 2 (39:48):
I was gonna think about a way to describe this
technique that I do.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
But so let's talk about when. If you have been
wanting to get back into the dating scene, and maybe
you use astrology as a tool, when is like the
optimal time for you to get back into the dating
scene according to astrology, So when Venus is in your
(40:13):
sun moon or rising sign, this is one of the
most favorable times to put yourself out there. You'll naturally
exude charm, making you more attractive to potential partners. And
when Venus moves into Libra, Taurus or Pisces signs that
Venus loves which is Libra, Taurus and Pisces because they're
all like. Taurus is very like all of these signs
(40:36):
are very gaudy where they like a lot of material things,
beauty Libra's beauty, Pisces is love and spirituality. These are
romantic times in general for everyone as Venus rules Libra
and Taurus and is exalted in Pisces, increasing harmony and
connection and loving vibes. So to find your Venus where
(41:00):
Venus is in, go to Cafe Astrology or astro dot com.
Input your birth time down to the minute, and you're
the city you were born in and it'll show you
where your venus is in. So my venus is in
Aries curly, yours is in Virgo Virgo. So so I
(41:22):
think Venus moves into Pisces in February soon. If it's
not there already, well, I think it's actually so it
is Venus retrograde, which happens every eighteen months for about
six weeks. I think it's currently in retrograde right now,
so it's not the best time to start a new relationship.
So I would say in February to March that would
(41:45):
be a great time to start dating again.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
Yeah, whatever, dating again or whatever. Yeah, I like that.
I think that also just like gets started, get started, kid,
get out there, like maybe just don't sign a contract
until the retrograde is.
Speaker 1 (42:01):
Over exactly, you know.
Speaker 2 (42:03):
I feel like this is the year where everyone is
going to find everyone is going to like finally settle in.
They're going to get into something really nice and warm
and closing. It's going to be so nice, it's going
to be so good. I can't tell you what happened
the following year, but I think for this year, and
if you're gay, I can't. I can't tell you what's
(42:23):
going to happen after the nineteenth, but you know.
Speaker 1 (42:26):
And also if you want more information on like when
to find the optimal time, there's Melissa's Stars Astrology on Instagram.
You can book a reading with her. She's really really
good if you just need like, And there's a bunch
of different resources on TikTok if it's still around, and
on the internet where you can look up your chart
(42:48):
and see how best to use it and to when
to date. So I've crunched all my numbers and for
me it's February. It's after February twenty third or like.
So also just do whatever and that concludes the zodiac section.
Speaker 2 (43:08):
Maya, how do you plead?
Speaker 1 (43:10):
My stomach is a rumbling and uh, I think that
means that I'm ready to release emotionally into the unknown,
into the unknown.
Speaker 2 (43:23):
Does your summach grumble when you're hungry or when you
have to.
Speaker 1 (43:25):
Know, I have to go to the bathroom.
Speaker 2 (43:26):
But okay, super fast, Also quick quick ones while you go,
work on your smell, have a good smell. Put stuff
in your hair, stuff in different parts.
Speaker 1 (43:36):
No, it's a trend on TikTok oh.
Speaker 2 (43:40):
Lean into your don't forget that you are a secure, baby, God,
you are secure. You got this. Anytime anybody ever called
you an anxious or whatever.
Speaker 1 (43:48):
Anxious lie And in the words of my nephew who
just does not make sense at all, abitza.
Speaker 2 (44:00):
Well, guys, thank you so much for listening. Where can
people find you?
Speaker 1 (44:04):
You can find me at my end the moment, m
a ya, in the moment, anywhere you scroll what about you?
Speaker 2 (44:09):
You can find me at the Curly v Show on
Instagram and TikTok.
Speaker 1 (44:13):
Thank you so much for listening to another episode of
The Super Secret Bestie Club Podcast. Make sure to hit
us up on our social media to let us know
you want to listen to on the next episode, we
love you so much and sending you love listen. We're
all gonna get the love this year. Will I feel it?
Speaker 2 (44:31):
I feel it too? Bye, get away from me. Oh.
Speaker 1 (44:36):
Make sure to hit that subscribe button to hear more
episodes every single week. The Super Secret Bestie Club Podcast
is a production of Sonodo in partnership with iHeartRadio's Michael
Tha podcast Network.
Speaker 2 (44:48):
For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
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