August 7, 2025 • 11 mins
This week we meet Zeb. Zeb has it all: plenty of dough, lots of high end real estate and snazzy cars, a gorgeous wife, good lookin kids.
But Zeb has a problem. A very serious problem. A problem that’s been festering for a while now but is about to come to a head.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Welcome to the ten Minute Storyteller. That's me Bill Simpson,
your host, narrator and author. We hear at the ten
Minute Storyteller endeavor to entertain you with tall tales or
rendered swiftly and with the utmost empathy. We pledge to
(00:25):
pack as much entertainment, emotion, and exploration into the human
condition as ten minutes will permit. Mini novels on steroids.
This week we meet zeb Zebulon has it all, plenty
(00:46):
of dough, lots of high end real estate and snazzy cars,
a gorgeous wife and good looking kids. But zeb has
a problem, a very serious problem that's been festering for
a while now, but is about to come to a
head domestic terror. Zebulon Garrett Blair is having a shitty day.
(01:14):
He just got word his kid didn't get into Princeton
and so was probably headed for Brown or maybe even Bucknell.
A Bucknell sticker on the back of his maybox, Why
bother a Bucknell flag flying from the flagpole to beach
house like that's going to create envy? And his damn
(01:34):
ankle swollen, stiff and sore after stepping out of the
golf cart into that stupid stink and gopher hole. Zeb
and his lawyer pal Al discussed suing the club during
high balls and filats at the Nineteenth Hole Bar and Grill,
but decided it might be financially fun but socially alienating
(01:58):
and work Jesus so much on his plate right now
he might even have to work for a few hours
on Friday and next week the big wigs want him
in the office for two days. Zeb hates going to
the office, showering, shaving, commuting, actually having to pay attention
during meetings, act like he gives a damn about what
(02:18):
they're saying. You know, you get used to working at
home in your sweats, he tells his buds during Thursday
night poker at the club. It's just a real bitch
when you got to get up in the morning and
face the music. The fact that he makes absolutely obscene
amounts of money, hanging out in his sweats in his
(02:39):
spiffy home office complete with San Remo espresso machine and
a five thousand dollars desk chair that massages his back
and strokes as Jimmy are just a few of the
things that Zebulon takes for granted. We here in America,
like to pretend we live in a land where all
(02:59):
folks are created equal and everyone has a shot at
living the life of Zeb. Of course, this is utter
and complete bullshit. We also like to pretend that we
live in a meritocracy, but nepotism still overwhelmingly rules the roost.
Just look at Zeb, born with the proverbial silver spoon
(03:24):
in his mouth, private schools from the age of three,
prep school at Chote Academy, accepted at Princeton, the alma
mater of his father and paternal grandfather. Despite a mediocre
performance at best up in Wallingford, squeaked by most of
his college classes, graduated in the lower third of his class,
(03:45):
but still welcomed with open arms at the Carlisle Group,
where his grandpappy had been a star and a friend
of Bush Senior, and where his daddy managed the alternative
assets division. Years now Zeb has been with the company,
and despite a truly lackluster career, he has been promoted
(04:07):
numerous times while collecting endless stock options and big fat
Christmas bonuses. He carries no mortgage on his four million
dollar home in Far Hills or his six million dollar
ocean front hacienda in segurt. He has full memberships in
six different golf clubs, two in New Jersey, one in Florida,
(04:29):
one in Scotland, one on Maui, and one in southern California.
Last year, he chalked up nearly one hundred and eighty
rounds of golf that's around every other day, despite working
full time and having three kids, two in high school
and one in middle school. So why is zeb such
(04:51):
a mess? Yeah, good question. Sure, he puts on a
good show, always the life of the party, always dressed
to the nines, with his hair meticulously coughed. There are,
of course people who envy Zeb and resent his wealth
and rugged good looks and beautiful wife and perfect children
(05:13):
and easy care free matter. But these are small, inferior,
insecure people. These are people who just don't matter. So
let's ask again, what is Zebulon's problem? Why is he
so fucked up in the head? Ninety nine zero point
(05:34):
nine percent of people on Earth would happily step into
Zeb's life and live happily ever after. They'd enjoy the
heated floor and heated towel rack in his bathroom, the
absurdly luxurious silk sheets covering his twenty seven thousand dollars
Duxiana Duck's exclusive mattress. They'd enjoy rides in any of
(05:59):
his luxury vehicles, whining and dining at his exclusive clubs,
and flying first class to spa weekends at Six Senses
Vana in the Himalayas or Canyon ranch outside Tucson. Does
Zeb somehow, deep down believe he does not deserve this life?
(06:23):
Is that the problem that he hasn't really earned it,
and so he doesn't deserve it, this cozy, ostentatious, ridiculously
affluent lifestyle. Is this perhaps why he's so tortured inside,
and why Zeb's wife and Zeb's offspring, so sunny and
(06:44):
ridiculously good looking in public, tremble in fear more days
than not behind the closed and locked doors of their houses. Possibly,
but more probably, something more dire and more basic is
at work here. It's not the money, not the patriotage,
(07:04):
not the luck of the birth draw. These realities might
add to Zeb's internal rage, but they are not its
root cause. The root cause, it turns out, is man's
inherent nature, his essential essence. Man is a beast, a violent,
(07:26):
demented beast, capable of extreme acts of cruelty, both emotional
and physical. This is true of men everywhere, regardless of color, creed, ethnicity,
or economic station in life. Zebulon Garrett Blair hides his
evil side quite well when out and about, never displays
(07:49):
the slightest sign of anger or angst. But at home,
behind those closed and locked doors, from time to time,
not too long often, but plenty often enough, his internal
fury explodes. And when it does, zeb backhands his wife,
(08:10):
kicks the dog, screams at and shoves his daughters onto
the floor, punches his son, sometimes right in the face,
like just a little while ago, just a little while ago,
when he got word the kid had not been accepted
to Princeton, Bam punched him right in the kisser, his
(08:30):
own son, his own flesh and blood, reared back and
punched him right in the mouth. Yep, been going on
for years, for years, and no one ever says a word,
not word one ever, not outside the house. Death mutes
all of them until well, just a few minutes ago,
(08:55):
when Zeb's son, up in his room behind his locked door,
finally decided enough was enough. It wasn't the black eye,
or the bloody lip or the swollen jaw it was
the reality that he would be leaving for college in
just a few months. And no way, no way was
he leaving his mom and his little sisters in a
(09:17):
house inhabited by a sicko and crippled by domestic terror.
So he made the call, and he spilled his guts,
and now, well, now here they come. The doorbell rings.
Zeb looks out the window of his home office in
(09:37):
the driveway, he spots two police cruisers, their lights flashing.
What the hell is this, he mutters to himself. He
goes to the front door and swings it open and
comes face to face with a pair of big, muscled up,
well armed police officers. Zebulon will not be sleeping on
(10:00):
is Duxiana Duck's exclusive mattress tonight or anytime soon. Domestic
violence is a very significant problem in America. Tens of
millions of women and children are abused physically, sexually, and
(10:21):
emotionally by husbands and fathers every year. Don't think so,
Just ask your local police officers. They'll tell you how
bad it is. Domestic violence occurs among the rich, the poor,
the educated, the uneducated, all ethnic groups, and all religions.
(10:41):
If you are a victim, of domestic violence or you
know someone who is. Seek help immediately. Do not wait,
do not live in fear. Okay, thanks for listening to
(11:05):
this original audio presentation of domestic terror narrated by the author.
If you enjoy today's story, please take a few seconds
to rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast, and go
to Thomas William Simpson dot com for additional information about
the author and to view his extensive canon. The Ten
(11:28):
Minute Storyteller is produced by Andrew Bergleasi and Josh Klani
and as part of the Elvis Duran Podcast Network in
partnership with iHeart Productions. Until next time, this is Bill Simpson,
your ten Minute Storyteller.
Welcome to the ten Minute Storyteller. That's me Bill Simpson,
your host, narrator and author. We hear at the ten
Minute Storyteller endeavor to entertain you with tall tales or
rendered swiftly and with the utmost empathy. We pledge to
(00:25):
pack as much entertainment, emotion, and exploration into the human
condition as ten minutes will permit. Mini novels on steroids.
This week we meet zeb Zebulon has it all, plenty
(00:46):
of dough, lots of high end real estate and snazzy cars,
a gorgeous wife and good looking kids. But zeb has
a problem, a very serious problem that's been festering for
a while now, but is about to come to a
head domestic terror. Zebulon Garrett Blair is having a shitty day.
(01:14):
He just got word his kid didn't get into Princeton
and so was probably headed for Brown or maybe even Bucknell.
A Bucknell sticker on the back of his maybox, Why
bother a Bucknell flag flying from the flagpole to beach
house like that's going to create envy? And his damn
(01:34):
ankle swollen, stiff and sore after stepping out of the
golf cart into that stupid stink and gopher hole. Zeb
and his lawyer pal Al discussed suing the club during
high balls and filats at the Nineteenth Hole Bar and Grill,
but decided it might be financially fun but socially alienating
(01:58):
and work Jesus so much on his plate right now
he might even have to work for a few hours
on Friday and next week the big wigs want him
in the office for two days. Zeb hates going to
the office, showering, shaving, commuting, actually having to pay attention
during meetings, act like he gives a damn about what
(02:18):
they're saying. You know, you get used to working at
home in your sweats, he tells his buds during Thursday
night poker at the club. It's just a real bitch
when you got to get up in the morning and
face the music. The fact that he makes absolutely obscene
amounts of money, hanging out in his sweats in his
(02:39):
spiffy home office complete with San Remo espresso machine and
a five thousand dollars desk chair that massages his back
and strokes as Jimmy are just a few of the
things that Zebulon takes for granted. We here in America,
like to pretend we live in a land where all
(02:59):
folks are created equal and everyone has a shot at
living the life of Zeb. Of course, this is utter
and complete bullshit. We also like to pretend that we
live in a meritocracy, but nepotism still overwhelmingly rules the roost.
Just look at Zeb, born with the proverbial silver spoon
(03:24):
in his mouth, private schools from the age of three,
prep school at Chote Academy, accepted at Princeton, the alma
mater of his father and paternal grandfather. Despite a mediocre
performance at best up in Wallingford, squeaked by most of
his college classes, graduated in the lower third of his class,
(03:45):
but still welcomed with open arms at the Carlisle Group,
where his grandpappy had been a star and a friend
of Bush Senior, and where his daddy managed the alternative
assets division. Years now Zeb has been with the company,
and despite a truly lackluster career, he has been promoted
(04:07):
numerous times while collecting endless stock options and big fat
Christmas bonuses. He carries no mortgage on his four million
dollar home in Far Hills or his six million dollar
ocean front hacienda in segurt. He has full memberships in
six different golf clubs, two in New Jersey, one in Florida,
(04:29):
one in Scotland, one on Maui, and one in southern California.
Last year, he chalked up nearly one hundred and eighty
rounds of golf that's around every other day, despite working
full time and having three kids, two in high school
and one in middle school. So why is zeb such
(04:51):
a mess? Yeah, good question. Sure, he puts on a
good show, always the life of the party, always dressed
to the nines, with his hair meticulously coughed. There are,
of course people who envy Zeb and resent his wealth
and rugged good looks and beautiful wife and perfect children
(05:13):
and easy care free matter. But these are small, inferior,
insecure people. These are people who just don't matter. So
let's ask again, what is Zebulon's problem? Why is he
so fucked up in the head? Ninety nine zero point
(05:34):
nine percent of people on Earth would happily step into
Zeb's life and live happily ever after. They'd enjoy the
heated floor and heated towel rack in his bathroom, the
absurdly luxurious silk sheets covering his twenty seven thousand dollars
Duxiana Duck's exclusive mattress. They'd enjoy rides in any of
(05:59):
his luxury vehicles, whining and dining at his exclusive clubs,
and flying first class to spa weekends at Six Senses
Vana in the Himalayas or Canyon ranch outside Tucson. Does
Zeb somehow, deep down believe he does not deserve this life?
(06:23):
Is that the problem that he hasn't really earned it,
and so he doesn't deserve it, this cozy, ostentatious, ridiculously
affluent lifestyle. Is this perhaps why he's so tortured inside,
and why Zeb's wife and Zeb's offspring, so sunny and
(06:44):
ridiculously good looking in public, tremble in fear more days
than not behind the closed and locked doors of their houses. Possibly,
but more probably, something more dire and more basic is
at work here. It's not the money, not the patriotage,
(07:04):
not the luck of the birth draw. These realities might
add to Zeb's internal rage, but they are not its
root cause. The root cause, it turns out, is man's
inherent nature, his essential essence. Man is a beast, a violent,
(07:26):
demented beast, capable of extreme acts of cruelty, both emotional
and physical. This is true of men everywhere, regardless of color, creed, ethnicity,
or economic station in life. Zebulon Garrett Blair hides his
evil side quite well when out and about, never displays
(07:49):
the slightest sign of anger or angst. But at home,
behind those closed and locked doors, from time to time,
not too long often, but plenty often enough, his internal
fury explodes. And when it does, zeb backhands his wife,
(08:10):
kicks the dog, screams at and shoves his daughters onto
the floor, punches his son, sometimes right in the face,
like just a little while ago, just a little while ago,
when he got word the kid had not been accepted
to Princeton, Bam punched him right in the kisser, his
(08:30):
own son, his own flesh and blood, reared back and
punched him right in the mouth. Yep, been going on
for years, for years, and no one ever says a word,
not word one ever, not outside the house. Death mutes
all of them until well, just a few minutes ago,
(08:55):
when Zeb's son, up in his room behind his locked door,
finally decided enough was enough. It wasn't the black eye,
or the bloody lip or the swollen jaw it was
the reality that he would be leaving for college in
just a few months. And no way, no way was
he leaving his mom and his little sisters in a
(09:17):
house inhabited by a sicko and crippled by domestic terror.
So he made the call, and he spilled his guts,
and now, well, now here they come. The doorbell rings.
Zeb looks out the window of his home office in
(09:37):
the driveway, he spots two police cruisers, their lights flashing.
What the hell is this, he mutters to himself. He
goes to the front door and swings it open and
comes face to face with a pair of big, muscled up,
well armed police officers. Zebulon will not be sleeping on
(10:00):
is Duxiana Duck's exclusive mattress tonight or anytime soon. Domestic
violence is a very significant problem in America. Tens of
millions of women and children are abused physically, sexually, and
(10:21):
emotionally by husbands and fathers every year. Don't think so,
Just ask your local police officers. They'll tell you how
bad it is. Domestic violence occurs among the rich, the poor,
the educated, the uneducated, all ethnic groups, and all religions.
(10:41):
If you are a victim, of domestic violence or you
know someone who is. Seek help immediately. Do not wait,
do not live in fear. Okay, thanks for listening to
(11:05):
this original audio presentation of domestic terror narrated by the author.
If you enjoy today's story, please take a few seconds
to rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast, and go
to Thomas William Simpson dot com for additional information about
the author and to view his extensive canon. The Ten
(11:28):
Minute Storyteller is produced by Andrew Bergleasi and Josh Klani
and as part of the Elvis Duran Podcast Network in
partnership with iHeart Productions. Until next time, this is Bill Simpson,
your ten Minute Storyteller.
Host
Bill Simpson
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