December 19, 2024 • 13 mins
All's well at the local parish. At least on the surface.
This week we meet Father Joseph. Father Joseph and Nathaniel's parents sit in the priest's office and have a nice little chat. They discuss the upcoming pancake breakfast, the flower show to raise money for the local orphanage, and next Sunday's sermon on assisting the poor and the persecuted.
Father Joseph has an engaging smile and an easy laugh. He is very popular among his parishioners. Unfortunately, Joe is a very sick pup.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Welcome to the ten Minute Storyteller. That's me Bill Simpson,
your host, narrator and author. We hear at the ten
minute Storyteller endeavor to entertain you with tall tales or
rendered swiftly and with the utmost empathy. We pledge to
(00:25):
pack as much entertainment, emotion, and exploration into the human
condition as ten minutes will permit. Mini novels on steroids.
This week we meet Father Joseph. Father Joseph and Nathaniel's
(00:47):
parents sit in the Priest's office and have a nice
little chat. They discuss the upcoming pancake breakfast, the flower
show to raise money for the local orphanage, and next
Sunday sermon on assisting the poor and the persecuted. Father
Joseph has an engaging smile and an easy laugh. He's
(01:11):
very popular among his parishioners. Unfortunately, Joe is a very
sick pup. Father Joseph and his blood red Feriolo. Father
Joseph leans back in his chair and smiles. He feels happy,
(01:35):
content satiated. A knock hits his office door. Father Joseph calls,
come in, come in, doors open. He meant to leave
the door open. He likes his office door wide open
to all souls who need him, unless, of course, he
desires privacy, and then the door is best closed and locked.
(02:00):
The Kennedys enter Joan and Bill staunch supporters of the diocese,
ten percenters all the way, always ready to volunteer, usher,
make pancakes, dust the chandeliers in the sanctuary. Five kids,
three sons, two daughters, thinking maybe one more, not doing
(02:22):
anything to prevent it. Their eldest, Nathaniel twelve, presently serves
Father Joseph as an altar boy, though Father Joseph prefers
the term acolyte. He likes to say in his serene,
casual style, acolyte gives the job a certain bit of
(02:43):
a bit of dignity, so important in life to have
one's dignity. Nathaniel just departed. He slipped out the side
door that leads to the changing room where Father Joseph
keeps his clerical clothing and ms. A bit of a
dandy and from a well to do, if somewhat dysfunctional family.
(03:08):
Father Joseph has a very nice selection of cassocks, capes, collars, hats,
and feriolos. The changing room also contains Father Joseph's clerical
wardrobe that he wears during masks, the amiss, the alb,
several cinsures, the stole, and a variety of chasibels in green, purple, white, black,
(03:34):
and blood red. Father Joseph loves blood red. Oh Lord,
who has said, my yoke is easy and my burden light,
Grant that I may be able to bear it, that
I may obtain thy grace. Amen. And the sink in
(03:55):
the corner where Nathaniel and the other accolytes wash Father
Joseph's hands and sometimes his feet before the priest dresses
for mass, give virtue to my hands, O Lord, that
being cleansed from all stains, I might serve you with
purity of mind and body. Joan and Bill Kennedy stand
(04:21):
until Father Joseph insists they sit now. Bill has his
doubts about the whole religion thing, but he keeps these
doubts to himself. He knows how much the church and
this priest mean to his wife anything to keep her
calm and steady. His job is to provide food and shelter,
(04:43):
safety and security. He's only here because Joan asked him
to come. Bill looks around the office while his wife
and the priest chat. He sees family pictures on the walls.
More family pictures on the priest's desk looks to be parents, siblings,
(05:04):
maybe nephews and nieces. Bill hears his wife and the
priest talking about Nathaniel and David ten also an altar
boy father. Joseph, in his quiet, pleasant voice, assures Joan,
the boys are doing a bang up job, Joe, a
bang up job first class. The conversation drifts to last
(05:28):
Sunday's sermon, to next week's pancake breakfast, to next month's
flower show to raise money for the local orphanage. Bill
hears them babbling away, occasionally laughing, but mostly he's thinking
about those reports his boss wants by the end of
the week, and the new secretary in accounting with the
(05:52):
mile long legs. The thought of having those killer legs
wrapped around his neck nearly causes Bill to pant, but
he quickly drives the thought away, as Bill knows full
well the consequences of any workplace shenanigans. One wrong word
(06:12):
to miss long legs, and he can kiss his cozy
desk job goodbye. It's not like the old days when
you could flirt and kit around and even lay a
hand on your secretary's ass. Those days are over. Centuries ago,
the Catholic Church ordered its priests to remain celibate. No
(06:37):
more marriage, no more wives, no more legitimate kids. The
Vatican issued this decree because it wanted Catholic priests to
remain one hundred percent faithful to God. Of course, this
was a lot of bologney. The real reason the Church
didn't want its priests to marry was because the Pope
(07:00):
and his cardinals didn't want wives and kids inheriting property.
The Pope wanted it all for himself, and so for
the past five or six hundred years, thousands, maybe tens
of thousands of priests have been wandering around the world
trying to figure out where to put it. Just look
(07:23):
at Father Joseph. He was at a diocese in another
state before he arrived here. The Church quietly moved him
here after a quote unquote misunderstanding unsettled the congregation. The
local police even took an interest briefly, but soon the
(07:43):
rumors were squelched and the archdiocese suggested Father Joseph take
a new posting. Now here's the thing. Joseph like virtually
all mammals roaming the planet, especially mammals with a foul
has needs, desires, impulses. For Christ's sakes, it's these impulses,
(08:07):
after all, that keep the whole ball of wax rolling along.
Desire leads to fornication, fornication to pregnancy, and pregnancy to
the survival of the species. It's a good, clean, simple system. Unfortunately,
on occasion, these desires and impulses go awry. Here at
(08:31):
his new posting, Father Joseph is very popular with the parishioners.
He's been here about a year now. He has a
fine sense of humor, but still manages to give a
strong sermon emphasizing the need to help the poor, the sick,
the elderly, the young, the abused, and on a personal front,
(08:53):
things have gone very smoothly. Young Nathaniel Joseph feels fell
into his lap Heaven, sent by God, no doubt, a
gift for all Father Joseph does for the poor and
the sick, for the elderly and those who suffer from
guilt and doubt. Father Joseph turns his attention to Bill.
(09:17):
You haven't been a regular attendee at church bell The
priest says, is there anything I can do for you?
You know, the church only has one purpose to assist
those in need. I'm good, says Bill. No needs right now.
When Bill was a kid, an altar boy at Saint Rose's,
(09:37):
father Michael fondled him on numerous occasions, nothing too dramatic,
just grabbed him through his corduroys once in a while,
slipped his hand inside, you know, gave young Bill a
little feel. Bill suppressed the abuse, told no one has
acted all his life like it, like it never even happened.
(10:01):
Joan suddenly stands. Bill slips from his reverie and shoots
out of his chair. Joan thanks the priest for his kindnesses.
Father Joseph gives Joan a hug and Bill a sturdy,
manly handshake. Bill finds it impossible to look the priest
in the eye. Soon after the Kennedy's depart Father Joseph
(10:25):
goes into his dressing room, disrobes and pulls on his
finest feriolo, a blood red ankle length cape made of
the finest mulberry silk. After admiring the cape and his
own appearance in the full length mirror, he goes looking
for his favorite accolade, he finds the boy on the
(10:48):
high altar polishing candlesticks. Come, Nathaniel, he commands, I have
something far more important for you to polish. That's a sick,
sad little story, I know, but hey, it's one that
must be told over and over so it never happens
(11:11):
again to anyone. To shy away from these atrocities is
to condone them. To pretend these abuses don't exist is
to guarantee the abuses will persist. It's estimated that over
a quarter of a million children were abused by Catholic
priests in the United States between nineteen fifty and twenty twenty.
(11:34):
God only knows the full extent of the abuse over
the centuries. These priests were sick. It's not normal to
sexually abuse powerless children. The priests they needed help, They
needed help. The Catholic Church did not provide the help. Instead,
the church, from the local parish right up to the
pope sitting in the Vatican made excuses, denied the abuse existed,
(11:59):
move sick priests from one diocese to another, where like
in this story, they abused additional children. Now I considered
a graphic depiction of what Father Joseph inflicted upon young
Nathaniel Kennedy, but in the end I just couldn't bring
myself to do it. There is not a parent alive
(12:21):
who wants their child sexually abused. So let's condemn the
Catholic Church for protecting these perverts and once and for all,
weed out the rats, throw them in jail, and throw
away the keys. Thanks for listening to this original audio
(12:48):
presentation of Father Joseph and his blood Red Fario. If
you enjoy today's story, please take a few seconds to rate, review,
and subscribe to this podcast, and then go to Thomas
William Simpson dot com for additional information about the author
(13:08):
and to view his extensive canon. The Ten Minute Storyteller
is produced by Andrew Pleglici and Josh Colodney and as
part of the Elvis Duran Podcast Network in partnership with Iheartproductions.
Until next time, this is Bill Simpson, your ten Minute Storyteller.
Welcome to the ten Minute Storyteller. That's me Bill Simpson,
your host, narrator and author. We hear at the ten
minute Storyteller endeavor to entertain you with tall tales or
rendered swiftly and with the utmost empathy. We pledge to
(00:25):
pack as much entertainment, emotion, and exploration into the human
condition as ten minutes will permit. Mini novels on steroids.
This week we meet Father Joseph. Father Joseph and Nathaniel's
(00:47):
parents sit in the Priest's office and have a nice
little chat. They discuss the upcoming pancake breakfast, the flower
show to raise money for the local orphanage, and next
Sunday sermon on assisting the poor and the persecuted. Father
Joseph has an engaging smile and an easy laugh. He's
(01:11):
very popular among his parishioners. Unfortunately, Joe is a very
sick pup. Father Joseph and his blood red Feriolo. Father
Joseph leans back in his chair and smiles. He feels happy,
(01:35):
content satiated. A knock hits his office door. Father Joseph calls,
come in, come in, doors open. He meant to leave
the door open. He likes his office door wide open
to all souls who need him, unless, of course, he
desires privacy, and then the door is best closed and locked.
(02:00):
The Kennedys enter Joan and Bill staunch supporters of the diocese,
ten percenters all the way, always ready to volunteer, usher,
make pancakes, dust the chandeliers in the sanctuary. Five kids,
three sons, two daughters, thinking maybe one more, not doing
(02:22):
anything to prevent it. Their eldest, Nathaniel twelve, presently serves
Father Joseph as an altar boy, though Father Joseph prefers
the term acolyte. He likes to say in his serene,
casual style, acolyte gives the job a certain bit of
(02:43):
a bit of dignity, so important in life to have
one's dignity. Nathaniel just departed. He slipped out the side
door that leads to the changing room where Father Joseph
keeps his clerical clothing and ms. A bit of a
dandy and from a well to do, if somewhat dysfunctional family.
(03:08):
Father Joseph has a very nice selection of cassocks, capes, collars, hats,
and feriolos. The changing room also contains Father Joseph's clerical
wardrobe that he wears during masks, the amiss, the alb,
several cinsures, the stole, and a variety of chasibels in green, purple, white, black,
(03:34):
and blood red. Father Joseph loves blood red. Oh Lord,
who has said, my yoke is easy and my burden light,
Grant that I may be able to bear it, that
I may obtain thy grace. Amen. And the sink in
(03:55):
the corner where Nathaniel and the other accolytes wash Father
Joseph's hands and sometimes his feet before the priest dresses
for mass, give virtue to my hands, O Lord, that
being cleansed from all stains, I might serve you with
purity of mind and body. Joan and Bill Kennedy stand
(04:21):
until Father Joseph insists they sit now. Bill has his
doubts about the whole religion thing, but he keeps these
doubts to himself. He knows how much the church and
this priest mean to his wife anything to keep her
calm and steady. His job is to provide food and shelter,
(04:43):
safety and security. He's only here because Joan asked him
to come. Bill looks around the office while his wife
and the priest chat. He sees family pictures on the walls.
More family pictures on the priest's desk looks to be parents, siblings,
(05:04):
maybe nephews and nieces. Bill hears his wife and the
priest talking about Nathaniel and David ten also an altar
boy father. Joseph, in his quiet, pleasant voice, assures Joan,
the boys are doing a bang up job, Joe, a
bang up job first class. The conversation drifts to last
(05:28):
Sunday's sermon, to next week's pancake breakfast, to next month's
flower show to raise money for the local orphanage. Bill
hears them babbling away, occasionally laughing, but mostly he's thinking
about those reports his boss wants by the end of
the week, and the new secretary in accounting with the
(05:52):
mile long legs. The thought of having those killer legs
wrapped around his neck nearly causes Bill to pant, but
he quickly drives the thought away, as Bill knows full
well the consequences of any workplace shenanigans. One wrong word
(06:12):
to miss long legs, and he can kiss his cozy
desk job goodbye. It's not like the old days when
you could flirt and kit around and even lay a
hand on your secretary's ass. Those days are over. Centuries ago,
the Catholic Church ordered its priests to remain celibate. No
(06:37):
more marriage, no more wives, no more legitimate kids. The
Vatican issued this decree because it wanted Catholic priests to
remain one hundred percent faithful to God. Of course, this
was a lot of bologney. The real reason the Church
didn't want its priests to marry was because the Pope
(07:00):
and his cardinals didn't want wives and kids inheriting property.
The Pope wanted it all for himself, and so for
the past five or six hundred years, thousands, maybe tens
of thousands of priests have been wandering around the world
trying to figure out where to put it. Just look
(07:23):
at Father Joseph. He was at a diocese in another
state before he arrived here. The Church quietly moved him
here after a quote unquote misunderstanding unsettled the congregation. The
local police even took an interest briefly, but soon the
(07:43):
rumors were squelched and the archdiocese suggested Father Joseph take
a new posting. Now here's the thing. Joseph like virtually
all mammals roaming the planet, especially mammals with a foul
has needs, desires, impulses. For Christ's sakes, it's these impulses,
(08:07):
after all, that keep the whole ball of wax rolling along.
Desire leads to fornication, fornication to pregnancy, and pregnancy to
the survival of the species. It's a good, clean, simple system. Unfortunately,
on occasion, these desires and impulses go awry. Here at
(08:31):
his new posting, Father Joseph is very popular with the parishioners.
He's been here about a year now. He has a
fine sense of humor, but still manages to give a
strong sermon emphasizing the need to help the poor, the sick,
the elderly, the young, the abused, and on a personal front,
(08:53):
things have gone very smoothly. Young Nathaniel Joseph feels fell
into his lap Heaven, sent by God, no doubt, a
gift for all Father Joseph does for the poor and
the sick, for the elderly and those who suffer from
guilt and doubt. Father Joseph turns his attention to Bill.
(09:17):
You haven't been a regular attendee at church bell The
priest says, is there anything I can do for you?
You know, the church only has one purpose to assist
those in need. I'm good, says Bill. No needs right now.
When Bill was a kid, an altar boy at Saint Rose's,
(09:37):
father Michael fondled him on numerous occasions, nothing too dramatic,
just grabbed him through his corduroys once in a while,
slipped his hand inside, you know, gave young Bill a
little feel. Bill suppressed the abuse, told no one has
acted all his life like it, like it never even happened.
(10:01):
Joan suddenly stands. Bill slips from his reverie and shoots
out of his chair. Joan thanks the priest for his kindnesses.
Father Joseph gives Joan a hug and Bill a sturdy,
manly handshake. Bill finds it impossible to look the priest
in the eye. Soon after the Kennedy's depart Father Joseph
(10:25):
goes into his dressing room, disrobes and pulls on his
finest feriolo, a blood red ankle length cape made of
the finest mulberry silk. After admiring the cape and his
own appearance in the full length mirror, he goes looking
for his favorite accolade, he finds the boy on the
(10:48):
high altar polishing candlesticks. Come, Nathaniel, he commands, I have
something far more important for you to polish. That's a sick,
sad little story, I know, but hey, it's one that
must be told over and over so it never happens
(11:11):
again to anyone. To shy away from these atrocities is
to condone them. To pretend these abuses don't exist is
to guarantee the abuses will persist. It's estimated that over
a quarter of a million children were abused by Catholic
priests in the United States between nineteen fifty and twenty twenty.
(11:34):
God only knows the full extent of the abuse over
the centuries. These priests were sick. It's not normal to
sexually abuse powerless children. The priests they needed help, They
needed help. The Catholic Church did not provide the help. Instead,
the church, from the local parish right up to the
pope sitting in the Vatican made excuses, denied the abuse existed,
(11:59):
move sick priests from one diocese to another, where like
in this story, they abused additional children. Now I considered
a graphic depiction of what Father Joseph inflicted upon young
Nathaniel Kennedy, but in the end I just couldn't bring
myself to do it. There is not a parent alive
(12:21):
who wants their child sexually abused. So let's condemn the
Catholic Church for protecting these perverts and once and for all,
weed out the rats, throw them in jail, and throw
away the keys. Thanks for listening to this original audio
(12:48):
presentation of Father Joseph and his blood Red Fario. If
you enjoy today's story, please take a few seconds to rate, review,
and subscribe to this podcast, and then go to Thomas
William Simpson dot com for additional information about the author
(13:08):
and to view his extensive canon. The Ten Minute Storyteller
is produced by Andrew Pleglici and Josh Colodney and as
part of the Elvis Duran Podcast Network in partnership with Iheartproductions.
Until next time, this is Bill Simpson, your ten Minute Storyteller.
Host
Bill Simpson
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