Involuntary Manslaughter

This week we meet Jerry. Jerry’s been arrested. Jerry’s in jail. For something he insists he didn’t do. 

But humans are not designed to readily admit their bad choices and screw-ups. It’s a bit of a design flaw. 

Jerry’s brain conjured up some thoughts that likely had very little to do with reality and now, well, now a pretty happy go lucky guy is dead. 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:04):
Welcome to the ten Minute Storyteller. That's me Bill Simpson,
your host, narrator, and author. We hear at the ten
Minute Storyteller endeavor to entertain you with tall tales or
rendered swiftly and with the utmost empathy. We pledge to

(00:25):
pack as much entertainment, emotion, and exploration into the human
condition as ten minutes will permit mini novels on steroids.
This week we meet Jerry. Jerry's been arrested. Jerry's in

(00:45):
jail for something he insists he didn't do. But humans
are not designed to readily admit their bad choices and
their screwups. It's a bit of a design flaw. Jerry's
brain conjured up some thoughts that likely had very little

(01:05):
to do with reality. And now, well now, a pretty happy,
go lucky guy is dead involuntary manslaughter. Jerry sits in
his cell and assures himself he didn't do it, at

(01:26):
least not on purpose. Christ No, not on purpose. It
was an accident, just an accident. It all started a
few nights ago at the company Christmas party, when Conrad,
the big polelock on the dock building crew, made a
pass at Jerry's wife. Well maybe not a full blown pass,

(01:49):
but the big Polelock was definitely flirting with her, brought
her a drink, asked her to dance, and in the
car on the way home, Jerry and his wife had
white a verbal brawl. What the fuck was up with
you in Kaminsky? Huh? What was that? What was that
all about? Jerry's wife, Paulina had consumed quite a few

(02:12):
shots of Watka and was feeling a touch tipsy. Oh
that Conrad. He's such a big teddy bear. Yeah, maybe
you should have gone home with Conrad tonight. What you
heard me? I'll pretend I didn't, Jerry. I saw you
laughing and dancing with him, cheek to cheek. Oh my god,

(02:33):
you did not bullshit. I didn't bullshit you did. Jerry
quickly made the decision not to pursue his line of attack.
Arguing with Paulina was like fighting with a grizzly bear.
But just because he chose not to pursue the battle
didn't mean he didn't stew over it the whole rest

(02:56):
of the weekend. He couldn't get the picture of that
big hairy Polock bedding his sweet Polina out of his head,
and by Monday morning, he had convinced himself that the
two had been carrying on an affair four months, maybe
even years. His paranoia took him so far down the

(03:19):
road to perdition that he was just about one hundred
percent certain his six year old son, Teddy, looked like
a fucking polllock. Now what chemicals we ask had gone
astray in Jerry's brain? That's hard to say. The human
brain is one of the most complex organisms in the universe.

(03:43):
It thinks up stuff like Hamlet and the Blue Danube,
and the atom bomb and the extermination of the Jews
using xylon b. It causes fingers to pull triggers and
mouths to other words like I you. It does math
and creates poetry, religion, and molecular engineering. The human brain

(04:09):
burns perceived enemies at the stake and well it often
goes haywire think schizophrenia, depression, anorexia, bolimia, bipolar disorder, anxiety, narcissism.
So you see, Jerry conjuring up a little affair between

(04:32):
his wife and Conrad Kaminski was just kind of par
for the human course. Nothing particularly outlandish or unusual about it,
especially considering the fact that Jerry had for months been
fantasizing about fucking the young chuckout girl at the local

(04:54):
Pigley Wiggley. If he could stray, so went the reasoning,
then there it was a very good chance Pauline could stray. Also.
They had been married, after all, for almost sixteen years,
and as of late their sex life was just about extinct.

(05:15):
And so when Monday morning rolled around, Jerry still had
a massive heart on for Conrad. The big Polock, a
happy go lucky sort of fellow, walked into the shanty
a few minutes before starting time, and with a wide
smile on his wide face, he greeted his fellow doc builders,

(05:37):
laborers and operating engineers with friendly hellos and slaps on
the back. There's some party the other night. Hey, boys,
I really tied one on, still a little. I'm still
a little fuzzy headed and hungover, if you want the truth.
Several of the others nodded in agreement. Jerry didn't take

(05:58):
his eyes off his newspaper, not that he was actually
reading anything. He was just sitting in the corner of
the shanty, stewing, Still stewing, what about you, Jerre, Conrad
shouted over the din of male voices. You have a
good time the other night to party. Fuck you, Jerry

(06:18):
wanted to say, but instead he just gave the big
polelock the cold shoulder. Not that Conrad noticed. He had
years ago learned to embrace his joyous disposition, in part
by not giving a shit about what other people thought
or said, especially people in a bad or sour mood.

(06:42):
The men slowly gather themselves and exit the shanty. Time
to get to work. The laborers move along the perimeter
of the dock to finish the two catch basins they
started last week. The dock builders climbed down onto the
floats stage and begins sorting out the tools they'll need

(07:03):
for the day's work. Chainsaws and peevies, pneumatic drills and sledgehammers. Jerry,
the operating engineer, the man with his hands on the
controls of the enormous the Cyrus Eerie crane, stops and
has a brief chat with the oiler. All good, Dan,

(07:25):
I think so, Jerr. All systems look good. Everything go,
The two men have to shout over the roar of
the Besiris Eerie's massive diesel engine, just beginning to warm
up for the day's work. You find that cause of
that thumping noise I heard last week. Dan nods. I
greased all the fittings and installed a new main drive belt.

(07:49):
Sounds silky smooth now, Ja Jerry nods and climbs up
into the cab of the forty ton crane. He goes
through his safety checks in much the same way a
pilot prepares for takeoff. Foot pedals, good resistance, levers and
clutches operating smoothly, same with the swing arm, and the

(08:14):
engine sounds strong, no hiccups. Almost twenty years Jerry's been
up in the cab. He might not be the slickest
operator along the waterfront, but he's well known to be
super safety conscious and always he takes his time. Sure,

(08:34):
sometimes a little too much time, but ask the old
timers on the dock building crew and they'll take a
cautious operator over a hot dog. Every day of the week,
the crew drives half a dozen piles for the new
fender system. The piles go down easy at first and

(08:56):
then begin to fetch up nice. It's an experienced dock
building crew, all Swedes except for Conrad. They work steadily
and efficiently, no unnecessary moves, safety above all else. Dock
building they all know and remind themselves several times daily

(09:19):
is one of the most dangerous occupations. A man can
do no end of ways to get hurt or worse.
Late in the morning, they start to install the bracing
timbers between the piles. These are enormous timbers, thirty six
inches by thirty six inches and eight feet long. They

(09:41):
weigh in excess of four hundred pounds apiece. The chainsaw
team trims the timber to size and wraps the sling
around it so they can hook up to the dropline
of the crane. Jerry swings the boom over the timber
and slowly lowers the line until the sling can be attached.

(10:06):
Once the men clear, Jerry pulls back on the lever
and lifts the heavy timber several feet above the float stage.
He swings slowly left, always a dangerous swing, as the
boom partially blocks his field of vision through both the
front and the side windshields. At least this is what

(10:30):
Jerry will tell the authorities. His field of vision was
briefly and slightly obstructed, but either way obstructed or not.
Suddenly the men are shouting, screaming, cursing, but too late,
the timber strikes Conrad on the side of the head

(10:52):
a terrific blow. It knocks the big polelock clean off
his feet and down. He goes onto the wet, oily
creosoded floor of the float stage, bleeding profusely, head crushed
and life fading, another victim of the two big for

(11:12):
its own good human brain. Thanks for listening to this
original audio presentation of Involuntary Manslaughter narrated by the author.
If you enjoyed today's story, please take a few seconds

(11:35):
to rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast, and then
go to Thomas William Simpson dot com for additional information
about the author and to view his extensive canon. The
Ten Minute Storyteller is produced by Andrew Bigleasi and Josh
Klani and is part of the Elvis Duran Podcast Network

(11:58):
in partnership with iHeart Productions. Until next time, this is
Bill Simpson, your ten minute Storytelling.