November 14, 2024 • 14 mins
This week we meet Stan. And Ollie. Neighbors. Friendly but not really friends.
Stan has a wife, three kids, a couple businesses. He’s a busy guy, high strung, stressed out. And now this broken bone in his left foot has him hobbled.
Ollie’s divorced. A good guy, a lonely guy.
Ollie and Stan’s wife Patty often walk their dogs together. Long walks. In the hills. Now something has transpired between Ollie and Patty. Or has it?
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Welcome to the ten Minute Storyteller. That's me Bill Simpson,
your host, narrator and author. We hear at the ten
minute Storyteller endeavor to entertain you with tall tales or
rendered swiftly and with the utmost empathy. We pledge to
(00:25):
pack as much entertainment, emotion, and exploration into the human
condition as ten minutes will permit. Mini novels on steroids.
This week we meet Rex. Rex is a retired long
(00:45):
haul trucker. He thinks America is in a death spiral
and longs for the past, for those older, simpler days
when men were men and women women. Decides to go
for a hike where he stumbles and is saved by
(01:06):
the future. Oh those queer saviors, Olive and Dove. Rex
is out in the garage cleaning his guns when the
urge hits him to take a walk. No, not a walk,
a hike. Yeah, a hike, a manly slog out in
(01:29):
the woods, maybe up at the water gap. Sure, why not,
he'd hike the gap. He hadn't hiked the gap in years,
not since Olive was a kid. He texts some buds
to see if anyone's interested, but it being a Tuesday,
most of the gangs at work or at the docks,
(01:50):
getting their colons or their prostates checked. Rex decides to
tackle the hike solo man against him Mountain. Rex is,
after all, a man's man, a throwback, a man who
can fix his own lawnmower, patch, his own roof, change
(02:10):
his own oil indoor a headache without aspirin or ibuprofen.
Rex is retired, has been for a few years now,
retired at forty eight. Twenty two years as a long
haul trucker kicked the crap out of his kidneys and
(02:31):
low back gave him migraines that felt like vesuvious exploding.
Rex has plenty of dough in the bank, though some
years back his father, a minor and enthusiastic supporter of
Jim Beam, bought a winning lottery ticket worth almost three
hundred grand. But just weeks after collecting this dough, the
(02:56):
old man succumbed to blacklong as Rex's mother and sister
had already passed. Rex inherited the stash close to two
hundred grand after taxes, legal fees, and other expenses. Plus
(03:16):
Rex's wife, Bess, who sleeps in the guest room down
the hall, and communicates with her husband only under duress.
Makes a very nice buck as an RN over at
Lehigh Valley Hospital in Stroudsburg. First thing Rex did after
retiring was all ass down to Washington for Trump's January
(03:41):
sixth rally to demand a recount of the votes. Rex
believed one hundred percent that the demes and their hucksters
had stolen the election. The country had gone to the
dogs and of course the immigrants, and without a shadow
of a doubt, Donald JA. Trump had been sent by
(04:01):
God to clean up the mess. Now, Rex isn't a
particularly religious fellow, but he does believe America was chosen
by God as the home of the righteous white men
who were meant to rule the world while leading good, clean,
(04:21):
respectable lives. All other races and genders, Rex believes need
to take a back seat to the whites. To the
white man, Whites are the chosen people, superior in every way, smarter, bolder,
and have done far more to advance humankind than all
(04:42):
the other races combined. Additionally, Rex doesn't buy into the
whole gender equality thing. Sure, okay, women have their place.
Of course, they're good at nursing and teaching and taking
care of the case at home, but the rest of it, Hell,
(05:03):
stand by and stand back and let the white guys
handle it. No, okay, it's not always a popular position.
Rex knows that, but he also knows it's the right position.
And finally, the whole gay, queer transgender thing, what a croc.
Men are men and girls are girls? Jesus, what could
(05:27):
be simpler God's way or the highway? Over beers at
the bangor brewhub. Rex has more than once opined forty
years hunting, forty years hunting, I ain't never seen a
queer buck or a gay bear never. And as for
turkey hens, not once, not one time, have I ever
(05:50):
blinked my eyes and seen one turn into a gobbler.
Never now. Oddly, when drooling over poorn on his HP laptop,
Rex sometimes feels a swell of excitement over a particularly
muscular mail body, especially colored male bodies endowed with outsized appendages.
(06:18):
Of course, he quickly scrolls away. It doesn't for a
nanosecond give in to that temptation. When the rally in
Washington turned raucous and the defeated president called for a
march on the Capitol, Rex caught a lucky break He
was all gun ho to storm the Capitol, string up
(06:39):
Pence and Pelosi, take back once and for all his
beautiful country. When suddenly, passing by the National Children's Museum,
his cell bone buzzed. It was Bess. Their daughter, Olive,
a frosh at East Stroudsburg University, had just confessed she
(07:01):
was a lesbian and had been for years. Well, Rex,
he was torn assault the Capitol and save the Union,
or high tail it back to Banger and deal with
this queer bolognay. Rex decided to head home, and a
good thing too, as he had a pea shooter secreted
away in his right combat boot. That weapon, in cahoots
(07:26):
with Rex's infamous hair trigger temper, would surely have led
to ten to twenty in the slammer for treason and
maybe shooting a federal police officer. Well now it's some
years later, but Rex still has the fire in his belly,
(07:47):
still a trump Man, still wants to make America great again,
still willing to do just about anything to assure Pennsylvania
goes for Trump. Sure after the big blowout with his daughter,
wants his pride and joy the apple of his eye.
Olive moved out moved in with some babe with an
(08:10):
apartment just off campus, and Rex has barely seen her since.
There's a pain in Rex's head where his daughter used
to reside. But he hunts and fishes and roams the country,
attending rallies to suppress the ache. In the agony he
assures himself, however, assures himself almost daily that he is
(08:34):
in the right and she is in the wrong, nothing
but another victim of the liberal bias destroying the country.
Rex hates crossing the Delaware and entering the Marxist bastion
of New Jersey, but today he makes an exception. He
prefers the Jersey Hike to the Gap over the Pennsylvania Hike.
(08:57):
To the top of the gap. He parks his pickup
and sets off at a determined pace. Just about no
other cars in the lot, so Rex figures to have
the trail pretty much all to himself. On a Tuesday afternoon,
the terrain begins to rise almost immediately, pretty steep too.
(09:17):
He follows the blue markers emblazoned on the trees every
fifty feet or so. The trail is littered with red
and yellow autumn leaves. The trees are a blaze of
color under a deep blue sky tempts in the low
sixties perfect hiking weather. About halfway to the summit, Having
(09:40):
not seen a soul, Rex emerges from the trees onto
a vast stone promontory overlooking the Delaware far below. He
pauses to enjoy the visual feast and to calm his
rapid breathing and pounding heart. Not certain he has the
(10:00):
endurance to reach the summit, he nevertheless carries on God.
He thinks, in the old days, I could sprint to
the top of this damn mountain. I'm getting old. Fallen
leaves scattered across the outcropping obscure the blue trail markers
painted on the rock. Rex loses the trail. He grows
(10:23):
a touch panicky as his lungs gasp and his heart roars.
Sweat pours off his brow. He bends over, hands on knees,
struggles to catch his breath. An animal suddenly rustles in
the underbrush, and Rex, startled, takes a quick step back
off the trail and over the edge, asks over tea kettle.
(10:46):
He comes to rest on a narrow ledge some ten
or twelve feet below, landing on his back. The wind
whistles out of his lungs, but he takes a deep
breath and he thinks, I'm okay, I'm just shook up
until he looks down at his ankle and sees the
jagged bone sticking through the flesh. He screams, vomits, and
(11:11):
soon thereafter goes into shock For an hour or more.
He lies there, blood oozing, pain, searing, half out of
his wits. When he can remember, he calls out for help,
but his voice sounds barely above a whisper. Olive and Dove,
(11:32):
seniors at East Stroudsburg University, studying to be teachers, purveyors
of knowledge, krantz along the trail hand in hand, arms
swinging gleeful voices, talking both at once about the gorgeous
sky and Kamilaw and their cute psychology teacher. And when
(11:54):
the time comes, should they adopt or go with some
form of IVF. They decide it would be very cool
to each carry a baby to term? Can you, asks Olive.
I don't know, says Dove, who used to be don,
but it sure would be fun to try. Wait, says Olive, Wait,
(12:16):
what was that? I think I heard someone someone calling?
They stop, look over the edge and see Rex lying
there between a rock and a hard place. Dad calls Olive.
Wait what, asks Dove, that's your father. Olive nods. He
used to bring me here hiking when I was a
(12:36):
kid and he was a father. Well, we need to
get him out of there. Well, God no, declares Olive.
It's best to leave him there, time for his kind
to wither away Olive. Olive smiles. Okay, I guess you're right, Dove.
We best lend him a helping hand. Thanks for listening
(13:01):
to this original audio presentation of Oh Those Queer Saviors
Olive and Dove, narrated by the author. If you enjoy
today's story, please take a few seconds to rate, review,
and subscribe to this podcast, and then go to Thomas
William Simpson dot com for additional information about the author
(13:26):
and to view his extensive canon. The Ten Minute Storyteller
is produced by Andrew Plaglsi and Josh Colodny and as
part of the Elvis Duran Podcast Network in partnership with Iheartproductions.
Until next time, this is Bill Simpson, your ten Minute Storyteller.
Welcome to the ten Minute Storyteller. That's me Bill Simpson,
your host, narrator and author. We hear at the ten
minute Storyteller endeavor to entertain you with tall tales or
rendered swiftly and with the utmost empathy. We pledge to
(00:25):
pack as much entertainment, emotion, and exploration into the human
condition as ten minutes will permit. Mini novels on steroids.
This week we meet Rex. Rex is a retired long
(00:45):
haul trucker. He thinks America is in a death spiral
and longs for the past, for those older, simpler days
when men were men and women women. Decides to go
for a hike where he stumbles and is saved by
(01:06):
the future. Oh those queer saviors, Olive and Dove. Rex
is out in the garage cleaning his guns when the
urge hits him to take a walk. No, not a walk,
a hike. Yeah, a hike, a manly slog out in
(01:29):
the woods, maybe up at the water gap. Sure, why not,
he'd hike the gap. He hadn't hiked the gap in years,
not since Olive was a kid. He texts some buds
to see if anyone's interested, but it being a Tuesday,
most of the gangs at work or at the docks,
(01:50):
getting their colons or their prostates checked. Rex decides to
tackle the hike solo man against him Mountain. Rex is,
after all, a man's man, a throwback, a man who
can fix his own lawnmower, patch, his own roof, change
(02:10):
his own oil indoor a headache without aspirin or ibuprofen.
Rex is retired, has been for a few years now,
retired at forty eight. Twenty two years as a long
haul trucker kicked the crap out of his kidneys and
(02:31):
low back gave him migraines that felt like vesuvious exploding.
Rex has plenty of dough in the bank, though some
years back his father, a minor and enthusiastic supporter of
Jim Beam, bought a winning lottery ticket worth almost three
hundred grand. But just weeks after collecting this dough, the
(02:56):
old man succumbed to blacklong as Rex's mother and sister
had already passed. Rex inherited the stash close to two
hundred grand after taxes, legal fees, and other expenses. Plus
(03:16):
Rex's wife, Bess, who sleeps in the guest room down
the hall, and communicates with her husband only under duress.
Makes a very nice buck as an RN over at
Lehigh Valley Hospital in Stroudsburg. First thing Rex did after
retiring was all ass down to Washington for Trump's January
(03:41):
sixth rally to demand a recount of the votes. Rex
believed one hundred percent that the demes and their hucksters
had stolen the election. The country had gone to the
dogs and of course the immigrants, and without a shadow
of a doubt, Donald JA. Trump had been sent by
(04:01):
God to clean up the mess. Now, Rex isn't a
particularly religious fellow, but he does believe America was chosen
by God as the home of the righteous white men
who were meant to rule the world while leading good, clean,
(04:21):
respectable lives. All other races and genders, Rex believes need
to take a back seat to the whites. To the
white man, Whites are the chosen people, superior in every way, smarter, bolder,
and have done far more to advance humankind than all
(04:42):
the other races combined. Additionally, Rex doesn't buy into the
whole gender equality thing. Sure, okay, women have their place.
Of course, they're good at nursing and teaching and taking
care of the case at home, but the rest of it, Hell,
(05:03):
stand by and stand back and let the white guys
handle it. No, okay, it's not always a popular position.
Rex knows that, but he also knows it's the right position.
And finally, the whole gay, queer transgender thing, what a croc.
Men are men and girls are girls? Jesus, what could
(05:27):
be simpler God's way or the highway? Over beers at
the bangor brewhub. Rex has more than once opined forty
years hunting, forty years hunting, I ain't never seen a
queer buck or a gay bear never. And as for
turkey hens, not once, not one time, have I ever
(05:50):
blinked my eyes and seen one turn into a gobbler.
Never now. Oddly, when drooling over poorn on his HP laptop,
Rex sometimes feels a swell of excitement over a particularly
muscular mail body, especially colored male bodies endowed with outsized appendages.
(06:18):
Of course, he quickly scrolls away. It doesn't for a
nanosecond give in to that temptation. When the rally in
Washington turned raucous and the defeated president called for a
march on the Capitol, Rex caught a lucky break He
was all gun ho to storm the Capitol, string up
(06:39):
Pence and Pelosi, take back once and for all his
beautiful country. When suddenly, passing by the National Children's Museum,
his cell bone buzzed. It was Bess. Their daughter, Olive,
a frosh at East Stroudsburg University, had just confessed she
(07:01):
was a lesbian and had been for years. Well, Rex,
he was torn assault the Capitol and save the Union,
or high tail it back to Banger and deal with
this queer bolognay. Rex decided to head home, and a
good thing too, as he had a pea shooter secreted
away in his right combat boot. That weapon, in cahoots
(07:26):
with Rex's infamous hair trigger temper, would surely have led
to ten to twenty in the slammer for treason and
maybe shooting a federal police officer. Well now it's some
years later, but Rex still has the fire in his belly,
(07:47):
still a trump Man, still wants to make America great again,
still willing to do just about anything to assure Pennsylvania
goes for Trump. Sure after the big blowout with his daughter,
wants his pride and joy the apple of his eye.
Olive moved out moved in with some babe with an
(08:10):
apartment just off campus, and Rex has barely seen her since.
There's a pain in Rex's head where his daughter used
to reside. But he hunts and fishes and roams the country,
attending rallies to suppress the ache. In the agony he
assures himself, however, assures himself almost daily that he is
(08:34):
in the right and she is in the wrong, nothing
but another victim of the liberal bias destroying the country.
Rex hates crossing the Delaware and entering the Marxist bastion
of New Jersey, but today he makes an exception. He
prefers the Jersey Hike to the Gap over the Pennsylvania Hike.
(08:57):
To the top of the gap. He parks his pickup
and sets off at a determined pace. Just about no
other cars in the lot, so Rex figures to have
the trail pretty much all to himself. On a Tuesday afternoon,
the terrain begins to rise almost immediately, pretty steep too.
(09:17):
He follows the blue markers emblazoned on the trees every
fifty feet or so. The trail is littered with red
and yellow autumn leaves. The trees are a blaze of
color under a deep blue sky tempts in the low
sixties perfect hiking weather. About halfway to the summit, Having
(09:40):
not seen a soul, Rex emerges from the trees onto
a vast stone promontory overlooking the Delaware far below. He
pauses to enjoy the visual feast and to calm his
rapid breathing and pounding heart. Not certain he has the
(10:00):
endurance to reach the summit, he nevertheless carries on God.
He thinks, in the old days, I could sprint to
the top of this damn mountain. I'm getting old. Fallen
leaves scattered across the outcropping obscure the blue trail markers
painted on the rock. Rex loses the trail. He grows
(10:23):
a touch panicky as his lungs gasp and his heart roars.
Sweat pours off his brow. He bends over, hands on knees,
struggles to catch his breath. An animal suddenly rustles in
the underbrush, and Rex, startled, takes a quick step back
off the trail and over the edge, asks over tea kettle.
(10:46):
He comes to rest on a narrow ledge some ten
or twelve feet below, landing on his back. The wind
whistles out of his lungs, but he takes a deep
breath and he thinks, I'm okay, I'm just shook up
until he looks down at his ankle and sees the
jagged bone sticking through the flesh. He screams, vomits, and
(11:11):
soon thereafter goes into shock For an hour or more.
He lies there, blood oozing, pain, searing, half out of
his wits. When he can remember, he calls out for help,
but his voice sounds barely above a whisper. Olive and Dove,
(11:32):
seniors at East Stroudsburg University, studying to be teachers, purveyors
of knowledge, krantz along the trail hand in hand, arms
swinging gleeful voices, talking both at once about the gorgeous
sky and Kamilaw and their cute psychology teacher. And when
(11:54):
the time comes, should they adopt or go with some
form of IVF. They decide it would be very cool
to each carry a baby to term? Can you, asks Olive.
I don't know, says Dove, who used to be don,
but it sure would be fun to try. Wait, says Olive, Wait,
(12:16):
what was that? I think I heard someone someone calling?
They stop, look over the edge and see Rex lying
there between a rock and a hard place. Dad calls Olive.
Wait what, asks Dove, that's your father. Olive nods. He
used to bring me here hiking when I was a
(12:36):
kid and he was a father. Well, we need to
get him out of there. Well, God no, declares Olive.
It's best to leave him there, time for his kind
to wither away Olive. Olive smiles. Okay, I guess you're right, Dove.
We best lend him a helping hand. Thanks for listening
(13:01):
to this original audio presentation of Oh Those Queer Saviors
Olive and Dove, narrated by the author. If you enjoy
today's story, please take a few seconds to rate, review,
and subscribe to this podcast, and then go to Thomas
William Simpson dot com for additional information about the author
(13:26):
and to view his extensive canon. The Ten Minute Storyteller
is produced by Andrew Plaglsi and Josh Colodny and as
part of the Elvis Duran Podcast Network in partnership with Iheartproductions.
Until next time, this is Bill Simpson, your ten Minute Storyteller.
Host
Bill Simpson
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