November 1, 2023 • 20 mins
Join us for a very Special Trap Nerds Side Quest, written by @VxVash entitled, "Coalescence". The story takes us down a very mysterious road as VXVASH recounts several premonitions of near-death experiences.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to Trapners podcast. Sidquist. Hello everyone, I'm posting here
because I'm in a pretty weird situation. I think I
need some help. I'll try to explain what's going on,
but it gets kind of weird. First, I'll start with
a question. Have you ever brushed so close to death
(00:25):
that an image of it played out in your head?
A moment just before catastrophe where your mind is firing
on all cylinders and running through every scenario an attempt
to find an escape. One of those scenarios, at least
for me, has always been my death. This, although disturbing,
has always been inconsequential, at least until last week. I
(00:47):
was on my way home from a party that one
of my friends was throwing for their birthday. The night
was clear, the two lane country road was empty. I
live outside of town, so this drive is just my
normal day to day. I saw the car from pretty
far off, and I turned off my brights, as common
courtesy dictates. They didn't do the same. In fact, it
started to look like they were in the middle of
(01:07):
the road. Some people just don't care about common courtesy,
and it's not uncommon on the road these days. Though,
the closer we got the further endo my laney came.
Now the panic set in. Had the person fallen asleep?
Were they going to intentionally hit me? The roads were
too small, and if I ran off the road, I'd
potentially be upside down in a ditch. If they were
(01:27):
playing chicken? What if they pulled back into their lane
right when I changed We were nearing the point of
no return at highway speeds. Something had to be done,
and all I could do was lay my hand into
my horn. Here was moments away from impact. I saw it,
the truck in front of me, slamming into my front end,
crushing it almost immediately a second later, taking me with it.
(01:48):
In the mess of blood and viscera, I was gone.
Suddenly I was back in my seat. Just before impact.
I swerved it off to the side of the road,
my tires clinging onto the hill for all they were worth,
truck swerved back into their lane. In my rear view.
I pulled my wheel over and was just barely able
to get back on the road. But I was live.
My fast beating hart was proof of that as I
(02:09):
slowed down to collect my thoughts. However, when I moved
my foot back to the gas pedal. I felt a
twinge of pain shoot up my legs. It was brief,
and at the time I hadn't given much thought. I
was simply happy to be alive. Obviously, I wouldn't be
here on this forum if that had been the end
of it. A few days later, it happened again. I
(02:31):
was walking to work after taking a lunch break at
the local deli. I waited there at the crosswalk until
I was given the oka by that familiar green walk light.
It happened all at once. A horn blared, calling me
to look up at the street I turned away from
for only a second. The sudden mental imagery played out
like a movie, except I was living it. The car
(02:51):
slamming into me at the speed way, too fast for
a downtown road. My body almost immediately folded and my
head slammed into the hood of the car as my
body flipped over and was thrown into the windshield. As
I snapped back, I realized my body had reacted out
of pure survival instinct. I jumped out of the way,
leaping just short of the curb, but enough that I
was spared the sight my mind had treated me to. Suddenly,
(03:14):
I heard a sharp pain in my ears, causing me
to double over in pain. I hadn't hit my head.
If anything, the pain would have been centered in the
palm of my hands from bracing my fall. But then
it was gone. An onlooker came over and helped me up.
I can't imagine I looked pretty dazed. I thanked them
and did the only thing that I could. I went
(03:34):
back to work. Now I knew something was wrong at
this point, but I wasn't really sure how to explain
it to a doctor and what it feels all in
my head. I know I probably should have seen someone
at this point, but I didn't want to sound crazy. Also,
tune near death experiences in the same week was enough
for me to take a couple of sick days. Yesterday
was worse. I was sitting on the swinging bench I
(03:56):
had installed on my front porch. It was always a
bit of a dreams to have one of those and
enjoy the cool morning air. The gentle creaks of the
wood swinging back and forth was therapeutic. Then a chunk
of the board snapped off, the sudden tension, violently jerking
the piece of jagged wood downward. It into my chest.
I cried out in agony as I fell off the
(04:17):
now slanted bench, writhing in pain as I found it
harder to breathe, the sounds of gurg and coming up
from my throat as I began to suffocate on my blood.
Just before things went dark, I was back again on
my bench and perfectly fine. I jumped up immediately, not
looking to create a reenactment to what I had just experienced,
my hands moving up to my chest to make sure
(04:37):
I was all right. I checked the boards this morning
after hiding in my room Alla yesterday. Everything was fine.
I'm probably going to take it down after today. The
vision must have only lasted a minute, but I felt
it so vividly. I'm scared of what this might mean,
and I feel like it's getting worse. What if it
becomes too much for my body to handle. I think
(04:58):
I might see a doctor, but I'm scared to may
put me in a mental home. I'm not crazy. I
just want this to stop, so please, if anyone out
there has had a similar experience, please let me know.
I'm desperate. Update one week later, Hey, everyone, the response
has been overwhelming. I have to admit that I'm at
least a little relieved. That there are other people that
(05:21):
have the same thing happen to them in times of crisis,
even if it's without the actual experience. It makes me
feel a little less crazy. After discussing this with you all,
I had come to the conclusion that maybe I was
having some form of premonitions or visions that were keeping
me safe. One of you pointed out that if these
were really visions, I wouldn't be feeling them like this.
(05:42):
It does make me wonder whether or not these are
my futures. I know it sounds crazy, but I feel
like the commenter had a point. I mean, the last
one wasn't even during a near death experience. If these
weren't my futures, then were they other versions of myself.
I'm sorry, I know that prob he sounds crazy, but
after last night's dream, let me explain. I had just
(06:06):
gone to sleep that night when a noise woke me up.
I got up from my bed to listen. Hearing it again,
I started walking over towards the door. However, I noticed
something odd. You see, I don't keep a dresser near
the door in my room. I've seen enough viral videos
to know it's way too easy to just knock the
whole thing over when walking into carelessly. But there was
(06:26):
one here, a small dresser with a lamp and a
picture of myself in a place I had no memory
of ever going. Then I heard the noise again. It
was just then I realized I had no control of
my body. Was I dreaming? No, I was fully awake.
My senses were still my own, but it was as
if my body wasn't my own. My hand reached toward
(06:49):
the handle and clicked it open. The hallway was dark,
but much darker than I had ever seen it before.
As I walked into the void that was formerly my hallway,
I looked over towards the front of the house. My
body trembled and my breathing went ragged as panic set in.
The silhouette of a person was standing at the end
of the hallway. They were hooded, so I couldn't see
any identifiable features. The moment felt like an eternity as
(07:12):
a deathly silence permeated the air around me. I wanted
to speak up, but couldn't. This nightmare hadn't allowed me
any measure of control. It's almost dark. A guttural, distorted
voice echoed down the hallway, the figure started moving. Now
my fight or flight reflexes begged me to run, but
I couldn't. I was trapped like some kind of passenger
(07:35):
on a ride that was actively malfunctioning. I felt my
body tense up as it braced to fight whoever or
whatever was coming right at me. It was too fast, though,
and just as my arms came up to try and block,
there was a sharp pain in my chest. Suddenly I
was on my back, looking up at a faceless void,
dark that my mind couldn't comprehend was under that hood.
(07:57):
At this distance, there should have been a face staring
back at me, but I stared into nothing. I looked
down toward the knife that wasn't better than my chest,
before a gargled cough forced my head back. I felt
the pain subside as my head fell, forcing me to
stare back up into the darkness of this thing's faceless pit,
a darkness that was now taking my vision from me.
(08:19):
My eyes closed, and I was gone. I woke in
my bed with a gasp similar to those that had
been underwater too long and whose bodies were desperate for air.
I sat up quickly, looking around to see that I
was back in bed. Alive, but with a phantom pain
in my chest that lasted much longer than the other
sensations I've talked about here. It must have been a
(08:41):
good five minutes or so before it finally disappeared. The
thing is I recognized the hilts of that dagger. It
belonged to my late uncle. He passed away about a
year ago after being locked up in a mental institution.
Since I was a kid, they never did tell me
why he was there. I never had a bad time
with him when I visited. Often we'd go out for
(09:02):
ice cream, spend some time doing crafts, or he would
share some survival tips for when the dark days arrived.
I guess that last bit should have been a bit
of a red flag, but all I knew was that
he cared. The dagger was one he showed me a
long time ago, and honestly, had I not seen it
in my dream or whatever that was, it would have
(09:23):
stayed forgotten. I knew it was time for a visit
to my aunt's place. Update one day later. My aunt
was a sweet old lady, and admittedly I haven't visited
her much after leaving off on my own. She was
happy to see me and offered snacks while we caught up.
It took me a lot longer than I thought it
would to bring it up, but our conversation went a
(09:45):
little something like this, Hey, Annie, do you happen to
have some Uncle John's old things, some photos, or some
of his old sprival gear. There was an awkward pause,
and a long one at that, before she finally spoke up,
I might have some of that stuff up in the attic.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
It's been a very long time since I've been up there, though, she.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
Said, in a sullen tone. I felt horrible, knowing I
had dug up something old and buried deep in her heart.
She led me over to the attic stairs and stayed
near the bottom. I looked back down at her and said,
I won't be long. She gave me a slow nod,
and I could see the sadness in her eyes. There
were things up here she didn't want to face, and
(10:25):
she wanted to keep it that way. I walked up
to the attic and could tell it hadn't been touched
in a long time. Dust and cobwebs touched every surface.
I wandered around the large room for a bit, unsure
of where even to start. I probably should have asked
my aunt, but I was so caught up in how
she was feeling, I just couldn't bring myself to do it.
I knew it when I saw it, though. Over in
(10:46):
the corner of the room was a large trunk, meticulously
separated from the rest of the clutter. Up there these
were what was left to my uncle's belongings. I opened
the large trunk and was immediately greeted by the dagger
i'd been looking for. I paused, almost too scared to
even look at it. I picked it up as though
I were a live grenade, carefully handling and inspecting it.
(11:08):
That's right, this dagger was the same one that I
had seen piercing my chest just the night before. I
looked back down toward the trunk and found a worn
out journal leather bound book look weather, but had some
shapes or letters I couldn't really make out scribbled across
its surface. This is where things get weird. I'll just
(11:29):
upload some images of the notebook pages I took here.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
February twenty third, I've decided to keep a journal to
catalog my dreams. I think it's rather ridiculous, but my
therapist seems to think it'll work, and I am desperate.
The nightmares I've had for the past few months have
become unbearable. Constantly running from faceless abominations and being unable
to wake even while I'm slash and nearly killed is
an exhaustion I cannot put into writing. April thirtieth. For
(11:55):
months I've been trapped in nightmares I cannot wake from.
But finally, on the cusp of a minut till break,
I have been allowed an unnatural peace in my dreams.
Last night I had dreams of my neighborhood, or what
remained of it. The entire town had been brought to ruin.
The skies were tinged in a deep fluorescent purple, but
the stars were clearly visible. It would have been beautiful
(12:17):
I had not been so unnatural. Was I dreaming of
some apocalyptic future, a place torn by war, perhaps cleared
of humanity and monsters? I'm not sure. I hope to
come back to this place. To night May fifth, I
had the same dream again. I have had the same
dream for nearly a full week, and I must express
(12:38):
that where previous nightmares had me face abominations and other
worldly horrors, these past nights have brought me a sense
of euphoric peace. No longer am I running from my
life from the fetid claws of beasts my mind can't comprehend.
I am in a place written of such things. I
lay nestled under the warmth of the beautiful purple light
a night sky I do not recognize, and I feel
(12:59):
it Peace. May eleventh. I experienced an interesting disturbance in
my dream last night. I found myself in an endless
hallway with a tattered roof allowing beautiful purple light to
shine through in places. I witnessed myself walking out from
a doorway in front of me, glancing both ways before
spotting me. He appeared elated and beckoned me over Hesitation
(13:21):
gripped me, but curiosity went out. He informed me that
our ascension day was nearly upon us, and I was
the last to arrive. I was baffled by this, but
decided to follow. The sights I beheld that day edged
into my memory a theater filled with the versions of
myself and a screen that overwhelmed my senses. The one
I met in the hallway explained that we were all
from parallel wolds, different versions of me with the same mind.
(13:45):
But different purposes. The purpose I do not recall, as
my memory is unclear. May twelfth, the nightmares have returned.
I found myself in that theater again. This time I
was alone on the screen. I witnessed the future with
faceless abominations roamed the streets, our streets. The sounds of
screams and gunfire echoed from every corner. The bodies, Oh God,
(14:08):
the bodies. They were torn in ways I had become
all too familiar with. I was immediately beset by anxiety
as my senses were overwhelmed by horror. I was attacked
from behind by one of those creatures, which ripped and
tore at my body in ways more agonizing than any
time before. May fourteenth. Why is this happening? I find
(14:28):
no respite in the day now. I haven't slept since
that night, but I experienced micro sleeps throughout the day.
Those creatures are everywhere, just out of sight. I hear
their low guttural growls. I am afraid. Why can I
not return to the place I was before? That beautiful
star filled sky, the loving embrace of the purple glow
(14:49):
all round. I want to go back. May seventeenth, I
want to go back. I want to go back. I
want to go back to feel again, to feel peace again.
May eighteenth, I have dreamed to dream by now that
(15:10):
dream is gone from me. I understand now. These are
not dreams or nightmares. They are visions, beautiful visions of
a future, unrealized but attainable. God came to me and
I found myself back in that ruined utopia. I looked
up into the sky and witness something truly remarkable, a
sight beyond human comprehension. No matter how hard I tried
(15:33):
to describe it, my hand would not move, as if
it were against the very laws of nature to do so.
Such a thing would be blasphemous. I understand this now.
The omnipotent One does not need to be described, only seen, unexperienced.
Soon every one will experience it. I have been granted
ascension on this day. I know and understand all that
(15:56):
is to come. I am the harbinger for our Lord.
My nephew shall become a vessel for our new deity,
perfection and human form. I have been given the noble
task of making him a suitable, fitting host for our
new Lord. He will ingest our Saviour's blood and heat
from his body. I have been blessed with this holy
mission and will help us share in a world that
(16:16):
knows only peace. Our Lord has assured me that the
horrors to come are only to weed out the unworthy.
Our new utopia has no need for the weak minded.
My other selves have been tasked with a multiversal genocide
to set in motion a convergence of energy in my world. Truly,
I have been blessed. My world will be our Lord's
(16:36):
new home. My nephew will be spending his summer here,
and I have much to prepare for.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
I'm not sure what to do. Was my uncle simply crazy?
My aunt was nowhere to be found when I returned.
Did she know she was the one who put him
in the mental institution? Does this validate that there are
actually other versions of myself dying? Why do I not
remember this summer where he's talking about in this journal?
He really feed me blood and flesh. I can't type anymore.
(17:07):
Please help me out. I'm not sure what to do
from here. Update two weeks later. It's been a couple
weeks since I last updated. I've been a lot going on.
This is happening every day now. I've witnessed and felt
so much death. And the first week it occurred every
other day, but now it's a daily occurrence. Today was
the most pleasant, which is why I found the energy
(17:29):
to update everyone. It was swift, I felt nothing. I
stood there in the living room staring down a faceless
invader I now recognizes my uncle, the man who once
taught me survival skills and raised me during the summers,
was there to end me. A gunshot to the head,
A blinding white light was all I saw, no sound,
and it was over immediately. I woke up on the
couch with a splitting headache. The others have not been
(17:52):
so kind. Did you know that your head lives on
for a few agonizing moments when you've been decapitated, unable
to draw breath or speak, cursed only with vision and
an overwhelming realization that you've just been separated from your body.
Visions of those you love and futures you'll never experience
flash in your mind, and then it's gone. The pain
has been overwhelming this week. I come back from these
(18:12):
places in agony, often crying and curled up in pain.
I wanted to stop my uncle's journey. Said this would
bring peace, But will it I do not want to
be a puppet for some fake god. I do not
want to be the reason the world ends. Update one
week later. Sleep does not offer me peace. I can
no longer escape into the deepest restless of my subconscious.
Some nights I float on a sea of stars, racked
(18:34):
in pain, unable to breathe as my lung struggle. I
do not know where I am or how I got there.
I only know the pain of my lungs filling and
giving out as my mind tries to make sense with
the space I'm in. Last night, I was pulled to
a place I don't understand. The space is simultaneously devoid
of light, but glows. I've never seen black glow. My
waking mind can't even comprehend what I saw. My body
(18:56):
feels heavy, my mind is waning. I think the time
is near. I think we're gonna try to end this myself.
Update one day later. I want to die. I tried.
I put a gun in my mouth and pulled the trigger,
but nothing happened. It wouldn't fire. I used my uncle's
blade to open my wrist, only to watch them do nothing.
No blood. The wounds simply sealed back up as the
(19:18):
blade cut. I even tried jumping from a building. I
went downtown, snuck into the service elevator that took me
to the roof. When I jumped, I felt it. Faced
with what was surely my death, I found the first
sense of peace I had felt in what seems like
an eternity. The sudden agony of my body slamming pavement
from ten stories lasted only a second before I was
(19:39):
brought back, passed out on the roof being loomed over
by security. The phantom pain paralyzed my body from the
memory of impact. I physically couldn't move and had to
be taken down by stretcher. Naturally, they found nothing wrong
with me. I'm in the hospital now and they won't
let me leave. I just want to say I'm sorry
for what is to come. You all know that I
(20:01):
tried my best. I don't know what is going to
happen next. I just just to stop. I want peace.
Listen to the Trap Nurse podcast every Monday on the
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get your podcasts.
Welcome to Trapners podcast. Sidquist. Hello everyone, I'm posting here
because I'm in a pretty weird situation. I think I
need some help. I'll try to explain what's going on,
but it gets kind of weird. First, I'll start with
a question. Have you ever brushed so close to death
(00:25):
that an image of it played out in your head?
A moment just before catastrophe where your mind is firing
on all cylinders and running through every scenario an attempt
to find an escape. One of those scenarios, at least
for me, has always been my death. This, although disturbing,
has always been inconsequential, at least until last week. I
(00:47):
was on my way home from a party that one
of my friends was throwing for their birthday. The night
was clear, the two lane country road was empty. I
live outside of town, so this drive is just my
normal day to day. I saw the car from pretty
far off, and I turned off my brights, as common
courtesy dictates. They didn't do the same. In fact, it
started to look like they were in the middle of
(01:07):
the road. Some people just don't care about common courtesy,
and it's not uncommon on the road these days. Though,
the closer we got the further endo my laney came.
Now the panic set in. Had the person fallen asleep?
Were they going to intentionally hit me? The roads were
too small, and if I ran off the road, I'd
potentially be upside down in a ditch. If they were
(01:27):
playing chicken? What if they pulled back into their lane
right when I changed We were nearing the point of
no return at highway speeds. Something had to be done,
and all I could do was lay my hand into
my horn. Here was moments away from impact. I saw it,
the truck in front of me, slamming into my front end,
crushing it almost immediately a second later, taking me with it.
(01:48):
In the mess of blood and viscera, I was gone.
Suddenly I was back in my seat. Just before impact.
I swerved it off to the side of the road,
my tires clinging onto the hill for all they were worth,
truck swerved back into their lane. In my rear view.
I pulled my wheel over and was just barely able
to get back on the road. But I was live.
My fast beating hart was proof of that as I
(02:09):
slowed down to collect my thoughts. However, when I moved
my foot back to the gas pedal. I felt a
twinge of pain shoot up my legs. It was brief,
and at the time I hadn't given much thought. I
was simply happy to be alive. Obviously, I wouldn't be
here on this forum if that had been the end
of it. A few days later, it happened again. I
(02:31):
was walking to work after taking a lunch break at
the local deli. I waited there at the crosswalk until
I was given the oka by that familiar green walk light.
It happened all at once. A horn blared, calling me
to look up at the street I turned away from
for only a second. The sudden mental imagery played out
like a movie, except I was living it. The car
(02:51):
slamming into me at the speed way, too fast for
a downtown road. My body almost immediately folded and my
head slammed into the hood of the car as my
body flipped over and was thrown into the windshield. As
I snapped back, I realized my body had reacted out
of pure survival instinct. I jumped out of the way,
leaping just short of the curb, but enough that I
was spared the sight my mind had treated me to. Suddenly,
(03:14):
I heard a sharp pain in my ears, causing me
to double over in pain. I hadn't hit my head.
If anything, the pain would have been centered in the
palm of my hands from bracing my fall. But then
it was gone. An onlooker came over and helped me up.
I can't imagine I looked pretty dazed. I thanked them
and did the only thing that I could. I went
(03:34):
back to work. Now I knew something was wrong at
this point, but I wasn't really sure how to explain
it to a doctor and what it feels all in
my head. I know I probably should have seen someone
at this point, but I didn't want to sound crazy. Also,
tune near death experiences in the same week was enough
for me to take a couple of sick days. Yesterday
was worse. I was sitting on the swinging bench I
(03:56):
had installed on my front porch. It was always a
bit of a dreams to have one of those and
enjoy the cool morning air. The gentle creaks of the
wood swinging back and forth was therapeutic. Then a chunk
of the board snapped off, the sudden tension, violently jerking
the piece of jagged wood downward. It into my chest.
I cried out in agony as I fell off the
(04:17):
now slanted bench, writhing in pain as I found it
harder to breathe, the sounds of gurg and coming up
from my throat as I began to suffocate on my blood.
Just before things went dark, I was back again on
my bench and perfectly fine. I jumped up immediately, not
looking to create a reenactment to what I had just experienced,
my hands moving up to my chest to make sure
(04:37):
I was all right. I checked the boards this morning
after hiding in my room Alla yesterday. Everything was fine.
I'm probably going to take it down after today. The
vision must have only lasted a minute, but I felt
it so vividly. I'm scared of what this might mean,
and I feel like it's getting worse. What if it
becomes too much for my body to handle. I think
(04:58):
I might see a doctor, but I'm scared to may
put me in a mental home. I'm not crazy. I
just want this to stop, so please, if anyone out
there has had a similar experience, please let me know.
I'm desperate. Update one week later, Hey, everyone, the response
has been overwhelming. I have to admit that I'm at
least a little relieved. That there are other people that
(05:21):
have the same thing happen to them in times of crisis,
even if it's without the actual experience. It makes me
feel a little less crazy. After discussing this with you all,
I had come to the conclusion that maybe I was
having some form of premonitions or visions that were keeping
me safe. One of you pointed out that if these
were really visions, I wouldn't be feeling them like this.
(05:42):
It does make me wonder whether or not these are
my futures. I know it sounds crazy, but I feel
like the commenter had a point. I mean, the last
one wasn't even during a near death experience. If these
weren't my futures, then were they other versions of myself.
I'm sorry, I know that prob he sounds crazy, but
after last night's dream, let me explain. I had just
(06:06):
gone to sleep that night when a noise woke me up.
I got up from my bed to listen. Hearing it again,
I started walking over towards the door. However, I noticed
something odd. You see, I don't keep a dresser near
the door in my room. I've seen enough viral videos
to know it's way too easy to just knock the
whole thing over when walking into carelessly. But there was
(06:26):
one here, a small dresser with a lamp and a
picture of myself in a place I had no memory
of ever going. Then I heard the noise again. It
was just then I realized I had no control of
my body. Was I dreaming? No, I was fully awake.
My senses were still my own, but it was as
if my body wasn't my own. My hand reached toward
(06:49):
the handle and clicked it open. The hallway was dark,
but much darker than I had ever seen it before.
As I walked into the void that was formerly my hallway,
I looked over towards the front of the house. My
body trembled and my breathing went ragged as panic set in.
The silhouette of a person was standing at the end
of the hallway. They were hooded, so I couldn't see
any identifiable features. The moment felt like an eternity as
(07:12):
a deathly silence permeated the air around me. I wanted
to speak up, but couldn't. This nightmare hadn't allowed me
any measure of control. It's almost dark. A guttural, distorted
voice echoed down the hallway, the figure started moving. Now
my fight or flight reflexes begged me to run, but
I couldn't. I was trapped like some kind of passenger
(07:35):
on a ride that was actively malfunctioning. I felt my
body tense up as it braced to fight whoever or
whatever was coming right at me. It was too fast, though,
and just as my arms came up to try and block,
there was a sharp pain in my chest. Suddenly I
was on my back, looking up at a faceless void,
dark that my mind couldn't comprehend was under that hood.
(07:57):
At this distance, there should have been a face staring
back at me, but I stared into nothing. I looked
down toward the knife that wasn't better than my chest,
before a gargled cough forced my head back. I felt
the pain subside as my head fell, forcing me to
stare back up into the darkness of this thing's faceless pit,
a darkness that was now taking my vision from me.
(08:19):
My eyes closed, and I was gone. I woke in
my bed with a gasp similar to those that had
been underwater too long and whose bodies were desperate for air.
I sat up quickly, looking around to see that I
was back in bed. Alive, but with a phantom pain
in my chest that lasted much longer than the other
sensations I've talked about here. It must have been a
(08:41):
good five minutes or so before it finally disappeared. The
thing is I recognized the hilts of that dagger. It
belonged to my late uncle. He passed away about a
year ago after being locked up in a mental institution.
Since I was a kid, they never did tell me
why he was there. I never had a bad time
with him when I visited. Often we'd go out for
(09:02):
ice cream, spend some time doing crafts, or he would
share some survival tips for when the dark days arrived.
I guess that last bit should have been a bit
of a red flag, but all I knew was that
he cared. The dagger was one he showed me a
long time ago, and honestly, had I not seen it
in my dream or whatever that was, it would have
(09:23):
stayed forgotten. I knew it was time for a visit
to my aunt's place. Update one day later. My aunt
was a sweet old lady, and admittedly I haven't visited
her much after leaving off on my own. She was
happy to see me and offered snacks while we caught up.
It took me a lot longer than I thought it
would to bring it up, but our conversation went a
(09:45):
little something like this, Hey, Annie, do you happen to
have some Uncle John's old things, some photos, or some
of his old sprival gear. There was an awkward pause,
and a long one at that, before she finally spoke up,
I might have some of that stuff up in the attic.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
It's been a very long time since I've been up there, though, she.
Speaker 1 (10:05):
Said, in a sullen tone. I felt horrible, knowing I
had dug up something old and buried deep in her heart.
She led me over to the attic stairs and stayed
near the bottom. I looked back down at her and said,
I won't be long. She gave me a slow nod,
and I could see the sadness in her eyes. There
were things up here she didn't want to face, and
(10:25):
she wanted to keep it that way. I walked up
to the attic and could tell it hadn't been touched
in a long time. Dust and cobwebs touched every surface.
I wandered around the large room for a bit, unsure
of where even to start. I probably should have asked
my aunt, but I was so caught up in how
she was feeling, I just couldn't bring myself to do it.
I knew it when I saw it, though. Over in
(10:46):
the corner of the room was a large trunk, meticulously
separated from the rest of the clutter. Up there these
were what was left to my uncle's belongings. I opened
the large trunk and was immediately greeted by the dagger
i'd been looking for. I paused, almost too scared to
even look at it. I picked it up as though
I were a live grenade, carefully handling and inspecting it.
(11:08):
That's right, this dagger was the same one that I
had seen piercing my chest just the night before. I
looked back down toward the trunk and found a worn
out journal leather bound book look weather, but had some
shapes or letters I couldn't really make out scribbled across
its surface. This is where things get weird. I'll just
(11:29):
upload some images of the notebook pages I took here.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
February twenty third, I've decided to keep a journal to
catalog my dreams. I think it's rather ridiculous, but my
therapist seems to think it'll work, and I am desperate.
The nightmares I've had for the past few months have
become unbearable. Constantly running from faceless abominations and being unable
to wake even while I'm slash and nearly killed is
an exhaustion I cannot put into writing. April thirtieth. For
(11:55):
months I've been trapped in nightmares I cannot wake from.
But finally, on the cusp of a minut till break,
I have been allowed an unnatural peace in my dreams.
Last night I had dreams of my neighborhood, or what
remained of it. The entire town had been brought to ruin.
The skies were tinged in a deep fluorescent purple, but
the stars were clearly visible. It would have been beautiful
(12:17):
I had not been so unnatural. Was I dreaming of
some apocalyptic future, a place torn by war, perhaps cleared
of humanity and monsters? I'm not sure. I hope to
come back to this place. To night May fifth, I
had the same dream again. I have had the same
dream for nearly a full week, and I must express
(12:38):
that where previous nightmares had me face abominations and other
worldly horrors, these past nights have brought me a sense
of euphoric peace. No longer am I running from my
life from the fetid claws of beasts my mind can't comprehend.
I am in a place written of such things. I
lay nestled under the warmth of the beautiful purple light
a night sky I do not recognize, and I feel
(12:59):
it Peace. May eleventh. I experienced an interesting disturbance in
my dream last night. I found myself in an endless
hallway with a tattered roof allowing beautiful purple light to
shine through in places. I witnessed myself walking out from
a doorway in front of me, glancing both ways before
spotting me. He appeared elated and beckoned me over Hesitation
(13:21):
gripped me, but curiosity went out. He informed me that
our ascension day was nearly upon us, and I was
the last to arrive. I was baffled by this, but
decided to follow. The sights I beheld that day edged
into my memory a theater filled with the versions of
myself and a screen that overwhelmed my senses. The one
I met in the hallway explained that we were all
from parallel wolds, different versions of me with the same mind.
(13:45):
But different purposes. The purpose I do not recall, as
my memory is unclear. May twelfth, the nightmares have returned.
I found myself in that theater again. This time I
was alone on the screen. I witnessed the future with
faceless abominations roamed the streets, our streets. The sounds of
screams and gunfire echoed from every corner. The bodies, Oh God,
(14:08):
the bodies. They were torn in ways I had become
all too familiar with. I was immediately beset by anxiety
as my senses were overwhelmed by horror. I was attacked
from behind by one of those creatures, which ripped and
tore at my body in ways more agonizing than any
time before. May fourteenth. Why is this happening? I find
(14:28):
no respite in the day now. I haven't slept since
that night, but I experienced micro sleeps throughout the day.
Those creatures are everywhere, just out of sight. I hear
their low guttural growls. I am afraid. Why can I
not return to the place I was before? That beautiful
star filled sky, the loving embrace of the purple glow
(14:49):
all round. I want to go back. May seventeenth, I
want to go back. I want to go back. I
want to go back to feel again, to feel peace again.
May eighteenth, I have dreamed to dream by now that
(15:10):
dream is gone from me. I understand now. These are
not dreams or nightmares. They are visions, beautiful visions of
a future, unrealized but attainable. God came to me and
I found myself back in that ruined utopia. I looked
up into the sky and witness something truly remarkable, a
sight beyond human comprehension. No matter how hard I tried
(15:33):
to describe it, my hand would not move, as if
it were against the very laws of nature to do so.
Such a thing would be blasphemous. I understand this now.
The omnipotent One does not need to be described, only seen, unexperienced.
Soon every one will experience it. I have been granted
ascension on this day. I know and understand all that
(15:56):
is to come. I am the harbinger for our Lord.
My nephew shall become a vessel for our new deity,
perfection and human form. I have been given the noble
task of making him a suitable, fitting host for our
new Lord. He will ingest our Saviour's blood and heat
from his body. I have been blessed with this holy
mission and will help us share in a world that
(16:16):
knows only peace. Our Lord has assured me that the
horrors to come are only to weed out the unworthy.
Our new utopia has no need for the weak minded.
My other selves have been tasked with a multiversal genocide
to set in motion a convergence of energy in my world. Truly,
I have been blessed. My world will be our Lord's
(16:36):
new home. My nephew will be spending his summer here,
and I have much to prepare for.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
I'm not sure what to do. Was my uncle simply crazy?
My aunt was nowhere to be found when I returned.
Did she know she was the one who put him
in the mental institution? Does this validate that there are
actually other versions of myself dying? Why do I not
remember this summer where he's talking about in this journal?
He really feed me blood and flesh. I can't type anymore.
(17:07):
Please help me out. I'm not sure what to do
from here. Update two weeks later. It's been a couple
weeks since I last updated. I've been a lot going on.
This is happening every day now. I've witnessed and felt
so much death. And the first week it occurred every
other day, but now it's a daily occurrence. Today was
the most pleasant, which is why I found the energy
(17:29):
to update everyone. It was swift, I felt nothing. I
stood there in the living room staring down a faceless
invader I now recognizes my uncle, the man who once
taught me survival skills and raised me during the summers,
was there to end me. A gunshot to the head,
A blinding white light was all I saw, no sound,
and it was over immediately. I woke up on the
couch with a splitting headache. The others have not been
(17:52):
so kind. Did you know that your head lives on
for a few agonizing moments when you've been decapitated, unable
to draw breath or speak, cursed only with vision and
an overwhelming realization that you've just been separated from your body.
Visions of those you love and futures you'll never experience
flash in your mind, and then it's gone. The pain
has been overwhelming this week. I come back from these
(18:12):
places in agony, often crying and curled up in pain.
I wanted to stop my uncle's journey. Said this would
bring peace, But will it I do not want to
be a puppet for some fake god. I do not
want to be the reason the world ends. Update one
week later. Sleep does not offer me peace. I can
no longer escape into the deepest restless of my subconscious.
Some nights I float on a sea of stars, racked
(18:34):
in pain, unable to breathe as my lung struggle. I
do not know where I am or how I got there.
I only know the pain of my lungs filling and
giving out as my mind tries to make sense with
the space I'm in. Last night, I was pulled to
a place I don't understand. The space is simultaneously devoid
of light, but glows. I've never seen black glow. My
waking mind can't even comprehend what I saw. My body
(18:56):
feels heavy, my mind is waning. I think the time
is near. I think we're gonna try to end this myself.
Update one day later. I want to die. I tried.
I put a gun in my mouth and pulled the trigger,
but nothing happened. It wouldn't fire. I used my uncle's
blade to open my wrist, only to watch them do nothing.
No blood. The wounds simply sealed back up as the
(19:18):
blade cut. I even tried jumping from a building. I
went downtown, snuck into the service elevator that took me
to the roof. When I jumped, I felt it. Faced
with what was surely my death, I found the first
sense of peace I had felt in what seems like
an eternity. The sudden agony of my body slamming pavement
from ten stories lasted only a second before I was
(19:39):
brought back, passed out on the roof being loomed over
by security. The phantom pain paralyzed my body from the
memory of impact. I physically couldn't move and had to
be taken down by stretcher. Naturally, they found nothing wrong
with me. I'm in the hospital now and they won't
let me leave. I just want to say I'm sorry
for what is to come. You all know that I
(20:01):
tried my best. I don't know what is going to
happen next. I just just to stop. I want peace.
Listen to the Trap Nurse podcast every Monday on the
Black Effect Podcast Network, the iHeartRadio app, or wherever you
get your podcasts.
Hosts And Creators
Devontae Lewis
Tony Marin
Exavier Poole
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